1896.]
The coldness of mid-winter. days
You still would keep around you
Although fair spring's life r giving rays
A handsomer co-ed hath found you.
Indeed I fear it is too late,
For me to seek another.,
Since ever-changing, fickle fate
Heel' cast me for thy brother.
And all ye co-eds that read these lines,
Just think you're the cause of this writing
And that this in the place of better rhYtneS
Might be the cause of your slighting.
ror verily, verily, its plain to me,
And needs no'proof of Roentgen's art.
Nor aught of shadow-graph to see
You've given to me the marble heart.—/
STATE COLLEGE WEATHER.
(With apologies to "Mark Twain.")
One of the shining features in State College weather is the
blinding uncertainty of it. You are always sure there will be
plenty of it,—a perfect dress parade, but you can never tell which
company is to move first.
I cannot tell who manufactures State College weather, but I
imagine it is some of those long-haired, raw-boned apprentices up
at the Experiment Station, who experiment on us and learn how,
at P. S. C., for board and tobacco and butter-milk, and then ate
promoted to make weather for places that require a good article in
that line, and who will take their custom to a rival weather shop
if they don't get it.
" Old Probabilities " has a great reputation for hitting the
weather mark, and he deserves it. In the papers you can see how
confidently he shoots off what to•day's weather will be in every
place but State ; but when he comes to State he's stuck. After
chewing his pen awhile, he jots down " Probable areas of rain,
snow, hail and drought ; probable northeast to southeast winds
veering to the, southward and eastward and northward and west
ward and points between. High and low barometer, succeeded
or preceded by earthquakes, with thunder and lightning." Then
to cover accidents this P. S. is added : "This programme may
Slate College Wealh'er.