ed her to reach her former home ; to find her bus.
band on the verge of the grave, both daughters
Married, [one of them the author of this sketch]
and with their first born in their arms."
Such a tale as this is stranger than . fiction. But
the nature that will not be crushed by affliction
such as is here related, but will rise above it ; to•
gether with the courage that will lead a woman
alone, unguided and unprotected through hun
dreds of miles of forest, are characters which have
left their impress On thousands of descendents—
characi ers which reappeared in those descendents
when England's yoke was cast off, when slavery
was overthrown, and which now is only sleeping
until roused to action by some stern necessity.
Such characters were common among the colo
nists, and the study of American colonization is,
throughout, a study of character.
SHARPS AND FLATS.
Nothing is great or small. It all depends upon
the point to which you direct your glass.
The boys for whom foot-ball now envelopes the
whole firmament will be wondering half a dozen
years hence how on earth they can save enough
money to get married upon. When our enter
prising little friend "Dutchman Grimm" was
asked to order an extra supply of papers for the
first Wednesday after the first Tuesday in Novem
ber, he inquired, "Who's goin' to play ?" And
the Republican landslide fell but he wot it not.
A dandy business man, der Kleine Grimm
Mein vrents der don't was no viles on him
If there aren't enough of Sunday Presses
Ten cents his price—that's what success is,
Talking of politics, the Governor-elect has our
congratulations. He's the biggest man of the
occasion in more ways than one. His election
would have been unanimous if it had depended
on the college. Good fortune attend him!
Then here's a health to P. S. C.
And here's one to the Governor.to lie
THE FREE LANCE.
H. I'. FERNALD
The Philosopher was bearing for his room, his
hands clasping "Coffee and Repartee," "The
Story of the Gadsbys," and the "Birdie Book,"
when he was arrested by the genial voice of the
autocrat of the janitor's parlor, who was pick
ing a lock on third floor with the practiced hand
of a "kanoozer." "How did you vote?"
the voice inquired. "Straight Prohibition" re
plied the Philosopher. "If you weren't a Re
publican I'd believe you," said the astute Ben.
But the Philosopher passed on smilingly for he
was but newly returned from despoiling the mug
wumps of many shekels.
Ben Beaver you're an honest man,
I'd Must you with my lastest cent;
The problem is what will you do for me
When my lastest cent has went?
Look out for these winsome maidens who. try
to get you on record as to your favorite flowers,
favorite tree (the Freshman says "yew"), favor
ite occupation (spooning with— —"
answereth the Sophomore), your favorite name
("Cousin J.—") favorite motto, pudding,
tooth powder &c., &c.
Ask the round, yellow moon,
That floats so calm o'er Nittany,
Ask the man who went up in a balloon
Mit please, dear girl, don't ask me.
A SOLILOQUY.
A flunk or not a flunk—that is the question
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to enter
A class-room and take a zip,
Or to pony and make a ten,
And by ponying pass? To pass,—to flunk,—
No more; and by passing to say we end
The horrid fear and a thousand shames
That flunking would incur—'tis a consummation
Goodly to be wished. To pass,—to flunk,—
To pony perchance to be ca.ught I ay, there's
the rub;
For in that detection, what horrors may come !
That's what makes ponying so apprehensive;
THE PHILOSOPHER