While coming up the College stair,
She met a little doggy there,.
Catching it up in her arms, she pressed
It very tightly to her breast,
And when she kissed it as most girls do,
I said " I wish I were a doggy too,"
She gave me a contemptuous glance,
Which did somewhat her looks enhance,
Then .turned she up her little nose
And struck a very tragic pose
And said in accents soft and low,
" Never mind puppy you'll grow."
The following persons were sent as delegates
to the Y. M. C. A. district convention, held
at Williamsport, from Feb. 28th to March 2d
G. A. Beaver, J. B. Walker, J. W. Stephenson,
R. L. Watts, C. A. Cummings, T. A. Gilkey,
R. M. Fitch and C. M. Green.
Professor (in Chemistry Practicum).—" Mr.
Lloyd, if you dont stop making so much fuss
I'll make you leave the room."
Lloyd.—" Well make these fellows stop
putting nitric acid on my boil."
Things that make us tired :—The bass
string on " Doc " Demming's guitar, waiting
for the mail, long prayers in Chapel, the seven
A, M. bell, Hogan Furst's song, johndy's snor
ing, the tune that Gossler whistles, long les
sons, and " Pop " Caughey's favorite expres
sion, " Supersegaciated Physiogrogomee.".
On Friday night Feb. I.4th, the Ladies'
Christian Endeavor Society, of the M. E.
Church of this place, gave a chicken and
waffle supper in the Delmonico Boarding Club
House. Everything they had to eat was good
and of the best quality. The patrons were
served by the pretty maidens of the village.
NOTES FROM THAT (W)AFFLE SUPPER,
The patrons were ferried up Delmonico
Avenue on canal boats.
Wieland when asked if he wanted coffee or
tea, replied, "Yes, please."
Jack Newburn eats one cake instead of one
piece 'of cake with his ice cream.
THE FREE LANCE.
The boys looked more at the girls than at
their plates. Their natural question was
" Where did all the girls come from ?"
Bowman (after a mishap) "And they shall
anoint my head with chicken gravy." She
merely mistook your head for a waffle, Bow-
Act I. The plot is made in room —, all
the chairs except one, and windowsill are
occupied. One of the plotters is sent out
after victims.
Act 11. The plotter returns with a victim,
the plotter takes his seat, victim seats himself
in vacant chair, general smiling throughout
the room.
Act 111. The victim suddenly raises him
self meantime searches for the point of appli
cation, " ! " Much laughter in room.
Act IV. " Hist," silence reigns.
Act V. The President appears on the scene,
exit all.
A book entitled " How " will soon be pub
lished by some of our most renowned writers.
The following is a table of its contents :
How to color a pipe, by . . Pood Read.
How to play a guitar, by . Watts.
How to play whist scientifically, by Wieland-
How to get a cheap ride, by . J. Mitchell.
How to imitate a Jew, by . Zink.
How to rise in the world, by . Brewer.
How to make hair-oil from chicken-
gravy, by .
How to stop chewing tobacco, by
Caughey and Butts.
How to bum gentlemanly, by . Weidner.
How to sing harmoniously, by . Camp.
How to cheat at poker, by . . Bryan.
How to shine in society, by . . Smiley.
How to evade questions in recita
tion, by . . . Gilkey.
How to test the strength of a pipe, by Fields.
How to be tough, by . • • Dale.
A PLAY IN FIVE ACTS.
. Bowman.