IT was evident from the agitation of .the
elements of the political world about the
College that there would be a cyclone of elo
quence sweep over the immediate vicinity that
would make Demosthenes, in his cold grave,
envy the campaign orator of the nineteenth
century. This cyclone struck Lemont, Nov
ember the gth in the shape of Beaver, Mitchell,
Holmes, and Weller, who with their horde of
admirers, started from the College at 7 o'clock
p. m., in the cushion-bottomed, wind-covered
pumpkin wagons to address a Ratification
meeting. These four Websters were met on
Bunker Hill, near Lemont, by an escort of dis
tinguished citizens and the brass band com
posed of thirty-nine pieces, including mouth
organs, tin pans, and toy whistles. They
passed in review, closed ranks and marched to
the village to the tune of Tippecanoe, and
Morton true. After marching in alluvial de
posits and H 10, exposing their mulish beings,
and halting long enough at the creamery for
the orators to refresh themselves with butter
milk, hard cider not being on deck, they
assembled about the grand stand to hear the
showers of eloquence, while rain drops des
cended in playful harmony with the doleful
screams of the Democratic postmaster, whom
Cresswell insisted should be turned out, in order
to make the town vote unanimously in favor
of Harrison and Morton. After the usual
amount of 'rah for Harrison, the president of
the Lemont club announced that Mr. Beaver,
the son of his father, the Ingalls of 'Pennsyl
vania, would address the meeting. The speak
er stepped forward, and struck the attitude of
Emmet, when heirnade his elaborate appeal to
the Court of England, proceeded to carve up
Grover in small relics for members of the
Democratic party to smoke in order to pre
serve for future reference.
The president next announced that Mr,
Mitchell, the silver-tongued, Goddess-of-Liber
ty-make-weep-orator, would address the pro
found assemblage, Mr, Mitchell stepped
THE FREE LANCE
forward, fastened his electric moustache back
of his ears, excused himself for' not exposing
his exposed cranium on account of the incle
mency of the weather. The orator had the
sympathy of his audience. Mad Anthony
siu•ely must have turned in his coffin, thinking
that the Indians had broken their part of the
contract with him. Everybody rejoiced when
he assured them that all the rascals would be
turned out and every Republican given some
office by Protection Ben.
Mr. Holmes next spoke, he was called the
prince of orators. The Goddess of Liberty
certainly 'must have blushed at his flattering
remarks. Blaine could not have been more
magnetic than the gentleman from Birming
ham. The cheers that followed flowed on the
moist air as freely as the hard cider of grand-
pa's campaign.
Mr. Weller by this time had unearthed him
self and worked off some of the surplus butter
milk and was next introduced by the president
as the orator profound and old man eloquent.
He began, as is his custom, with a powerful
invective against Democracy and in particular
against the present administration. "But
thanks be to an enlightened civilization the
Republican party has crushed the free trade
issue, and now the American eagle can flop its
tail in the Atlantic and dip its bill in the Pa
cific, not fearing a veto of its rights for the
next four years." Here the orator dropped
from the oratorical to the basso profundo, and
was wont to close but the farmers and soldiers,
since the orator had so honorably resurrected
and mutilated the Democratic issue, wanted
him to give it a decent burial. • The orator
profound seeing the effect of the destruction,
and hearing the ominous cries, and fearing to
lay his hands on the dishonored dead, was
unwilling, until forced with stakes and fence
rails, to do so. Then in glowing terms he
introduced and ushered the corpse into the
presence of " Hadesocracy."