LOCALS.
Tlio time Is) near at hand
When tlio Btudonts must disband,
And quickly lilo to tlioli' parontr.l roost;
And tho solitary bummor,
Who luis lonfodaround all Summer,
Must from tlio campus take his annual boost,
—Bottle has another spell.
—The blubber drink is all the craze,
—Johnny’s ice-cream takes the ca-boys.
—Now is the time to subscribe for The Free
Lance
—Why is Prepdom like the fore-arm ? Because
is has two Bohns in it.
—The college lintels are like the hairs of one’s
head—they are numbered.
—The lady students are already sporting their
handsome summer costumes.
—Wanted : A little more imagination in mi
croscopic observations in botany.
—The moustached Sophs threaten to disin
hairit their less fortunate brethren.
—The college orchestra has been improved by
the addition of a new size bass viol.
—Lieutenant and Mrs. Pague gave a formal
hop at their rooms, on Saturday evening,April 23.
—One of the campus trees was decapitated by
a plug shot from cannon No. 3.
—The general science men amuse themselves
by fishing for the “club" milk with fish lines and
hooks.
—The business manager of the Free Lance is
noted as the'-most popular “punster" in State
College.
—The boys make nightly visits to the flower
gardens, to pluck “the forbidden fruit” for the
young ladies.
Wanted : Some person to keep continually
pouring H z O into my water bottle in the chemi
cal laboratory, to prevent it from a sudden col
lapse.— Barclay.
THE FREE LANCE,
—Schaffer, the tailor, was required to buy
ellipsoid scissors in order to cut Jim Mock’s new
military pants,
—The Freshman artillery squad wore out three
pairs of lungs for Lieutenant Pague last Wednes
day afternoon.
—The entrances to the College grounds have
just been improved by the addition of handsome
self-opening gates.
—The college team expects to have a game of
ball with that of the University of Pennsylvania
soon after June Bth.
—The Professor of Mechanic Arts does not
allow “Zach” to bore augur holes for fear he
might fall into one and perish.
—The lawn-mower is again at work on the
front campus, and its discordant sounds cause the
“Fresh" to speak German fluently.
—The Honorable Andrew Timms will edify
and amuse the Q. T. V., in the near future, with
his celebrated lecture “From the Cradle to the
Grave.”
—A large number of students attend the Mite
Societies held about the College, and carry with
them their mites ; but, alas, they do not put them
in the collection box.
—The college band made its first appearance
the other evening and discoursed sweet music
about the building. Why it really played a
“Spanish Cavalier" and “Peek-a-Boo.”
—The “B” Preparatory students observed the
holiday granted them by the Faculty, in planting
class trees. We hope that their class may become
as strong and sturdy as their trees give promise of
being.
—Why can’t the second nine play ball?
Because—
Because — ,
It has Loyileh to do tho mulling,
aihl tho rost (lo Just this siime.
It lias-Dorsey lo play on third base,
And nnolhorof equal faino;