.. . ' , ., . ... ; - . - i i .. i miiiin Ti ' "T'J, 1 rr - i n i iiiim i miw ii in- nn 1 n imui mrm rnn r-nrrmi u.. .. EH. JAMES, i , . I-LaS-S!t.OmSADYAXCE. VOLUME 9. EBENSBURG, PA., THURSDAY, JANUARY 21, 1809. NUMBER 24. 1 if :d -It m li- a .b- ni i it;, ct iT 8 I rill co. i 3 larlr Prel UBS! osit. St. TT WILLIAM K1TTELL, Attorney at V f Law, Ebensburg, Pa. August 13, 1863. TO UN FENLON, Attorney at Law, l) Ebensburg, Ia. jg- Office on High street. augl3 GEORGE M. READE, Attorney ut Law, Ebensburg, Pa. sy Office in Colonnade Row. augl3 rVTlLLIAM II. SKU1JLJSU, Attor ? 7 ney at Law, Ebensburg, Pa. liif OSice'in Colonnade Row. ug20 GEORGE W. O ATM AN, Attorney at Law and Chum Agent, and United States Commissioner for Cambria county, Eb ensburg, Pa. aog!3 OI1NSTON & SCANLAN, Attorneys at Law, Ebensbr.rg, Pa. Office opposite the Court House. B. L. JOHSSTOS. augl3 J. E. SC&XLAS. ri AMUEL SINGLETON, Attorney at 4 Law, Ebensburg, Pa. Office on ter's Hotel. High itreet, west of I os auglS JAMES C. EASLY, Attorney at Law, Carrolitown, Cambria county, Pa. . r .1 t?:n rv"3 Architectural urawinga nu -ruu' cations made. J"augl3 J. WATERS, Justice ut tne reace LJm and Scrivener. . r i.vy-Office adjoining dwelling, on II gh Ft., Ebensburg, Pa. L-luf-r 13-6m. FA. SHOEMAKER, Attorney at Law, Ebensburg, Pa. Particular attention paid to collections. a Office on High Etreet, west of the Di imond. aug!3 A. KOt'ELlK, T. W. DICK, Jnhitslown. L.Lenburrj. Ol'tfLIN & DICK, Attorneys at Law, Ebensburg, Pa. j,.a7- Office in Cclonad Row, with Wm. Kiucll, Esq. Oct. '11. TOSEPII S. STRAYER, Justice of the Peace, Johnstown, Pa. S-S'" Office nu Market street, corner of Lo cu. -"street extended, and one door Boutb of the l-.te office of Wra. 11'Kee. ft.uglS P REYEREAUX, M. D., Physician JA and Surgeon, Summit, Pa. E?iT Office cet of Mnns:on Iloue, on Rail rour street. Night calls promptly atteiid-t u, r.t Lis office. augl3 P K.Te W ITT ZEIGLE It (Mfers hia professional cervices to the citizens of Ebensburg and vicinity. He will visit Ebensburg the tsecond lues.laj oi eacn ttjiih, to remain one week. etU extracted, toi'fAeuf pain, witli Xi'rout vnd'. or uai'un-n5 ims. 12.-0 Kooms aiijoiuiug G. Huntley's tore, l.ilg;l itr?Ct. augi.i 1ENTISTRY. JL7 The undersigned, Graduate of the Hal- viuorc College of lent.U Surgery, respectfully o:Tcrs his profeasional services to the citizens uf Ebensburg. He has spared no means to thoroughly acquaint himself with every im travtment in his art. To many years of per ianal experience, he has sought to acid the iiapsrtcd experience ot the highest authorities ia Dental Science. He simpiy asks that an cp;iorti.'jity may be given for hia work to fcak Li own praise. SAMUEL TELFORD, D. D. S. rrVill be at Ebensburg on the fourth 1! 'n'uy or' each month, to stay one Wjek. A jgust 13, 18G8. T LOYI) &. CO., Jlanker XJ EuENSBcao, Pa. l?y (lolci. Silver, Government Loans and Oilier Securities bought and sold. Interest !!oweI oa Time Deposits. Collections made on i; uccessihle points in the United States, a.l a Geo-ral Eauking Business transacted. August 13, 1803. T M. LLOYD & Co., Bunker y Altoona, Pa. . Ih'ufis or. u,c principal cities, and Silver J Golu for t.i'.o. Collections made. . Hon- js recti-ved on denosit. payable on demand. wuiioiit interest, or upon time, with interest t fa r rates. face 13 L. " ' flllN-'' :,"n?c:T v- nT-v 4 t f jrr J'.d'F (-'"Pita $ C(i,000 00 J'in!'je to increase to It-ii.&OO 00 'e liuv and roll Inland anri Vir;n n.i'is f, ........ v. ..... . U I U J . - nt Securities : make collpotinn nt lmmp ...a uiiiri, miu ii ii tiMsse.- oi uovern- ii abroad ; receive deposits; loan money, p'l do a general Eankinj? business. AU lailnaj On,... ,..-.-1 ... Til . lntioa and care, at morifrntp nricea. Give buiiuaici; I i ii will r f t' i v xirnmni - ...Ml. nr.. Director : John Diceiit, Jacob Leveugood, Edw'd. Y. Townsend. JAron "i ." "CORrs r. ' JiAXIEL J. MORRELL. rretident, Lobeuts, Cashier. sep3ly X. TVAtrk r.. ...... .?.. HIST .NATIONAL JiANK in k r TAi v G 0 VEnXMEXT A CKNCY, DEIGXATr.D DEPOSITORY OF THE UNI- TED STATES. fT . , Yirginiaand Annie Bts., North , - . vS'l'lV1 Capital $300,0C0 00 ApiTAt, Paid is 150,000 00 faToraUe'neSS per,aining Banking done on Ifc'em.o' " . .... l-ons vrnue stamps of all denomma- JTa-y8on Lund. HP ,B.?UrC.hH8" Of S, fliiiiie novrtavitAnra in I "ill Itf (. 'lAn...! II "..uncii, its lOUUWJ $!iu tn 2oo " i Cent- 5 $I0C t0 $200, 3 per cent.; ujiwarcifi, 4 per cent. augl3 SAJ:!-,FL SINGLktox, Notary Pub- rBce n'nrg, Pa. "'gn street, vet of Foster' IIo- ugl3 WORK Til ... au Kinrt don ALLEGHAMAN OFFICE, o at H. J. loir u The IVT. Y. Tribune Tor 18G9. Within the last eight years our country has triumphantly passed through the gra vest and most trying perils which have confronted her since her Independence was acknowledged. She has vindicated beyond appeal her right to he regarded as no mere confederacy or league of jealous, envious, discordant States, but as substan tially and permanently a Nation, wherein the pretensions of no part can be admitted or upheld in opposition to the integrity, the paramount authority, of the One lie public. The right of each man, by virtue of his birth or his naturalization as a citizen of the United States, to the full enjoyment of ''life, liberty, and the pursuit of happi ness," until he shall forfeit the right by crime, is also established on impregnable foundations. Our fathers proclaimed it in justifying their separation from Great Britain ; it was left to us to establish as a fact what they merely affirmed as a prin ciple. What the cannon of Saratoga and Yorktown proclaimed as an abstraction, the cannon of Gettysburg, Yicksburg, and Five Fuiks established as a living, em bodied, enacted truth. "Widely as our flag now floats, still more widely as it may float hereafter, there is, there can hence forth be, no legal master, no fettered slave. Wrongs and abuses, servility and oppres sion, may still exist; but the Federal Constitution is no longer their shield, and the folds of our flag no longer emblazon nor seek to conceal a lie. The humblest American, so long as he violates no law, is master of his own limbs and the sole owner of all he can honestly earn. Of these immense results, the impor tance and the beneficence will become more palpable with every added year. Distance is required to enable us to meas ure and appreciate the magnitude of the pyramid of four millions of shackles, stricken from the scarred limbs of our countrymen, which form the enduring monument of our struirtrle and our tri umph. rsew arts, new industries, new development of natural wealth, too long unheeded and unvalued, will year by year stand forth in attestatiou that none of U3 has yet adequately realized the magnitude and the benignity of our National victory. No great good is ever achieved without -effort or without cost. Four yers of pa triotic struggle and sacrifice, half a million of men slain in battle or dying of the pri vations and exposures of war, millions of bereaved ones, five billions of property de- i cloyed, and nearly three billions of debt incurred, attest the magnitud-3 of the con test and the unyielding valor of the com batants. At length, the smoke rises from the hard-won field, showing that the last in trenchment has been carried. The elec tion of Grant and Colfax gives assurance that the storm is over that the bow of promise arches the sky. There are still obstacles to surmount, perils to avert, no ble ends to be achieved j but the ship of State lias riuden out the tempest and has her haven full in view. The seven States reconstructed under the recent acts of Congress will stand, and will be followed by the three that have hitherto stood aloof; the rights of the frccdmen will be upheld and respected, and impartial suf frage throughout tli2 land will soon plant them on foundations that cannot be sha ken. The Tribune will contend, in the future as in the past, for Universal Amnesty as well as for Impartial Suffrage. It has no faith in vengeance, in proscription, in con fiscation, nor in the shedding of blood otherwise than in actual and necessary war. '-There is a time for War and a time for Peace ;" and the latter follows swiftly on the heels of the former. YVhenever thosy who fouaht against the Union shall have in good faith given up the contest, the- are no longer our foes but our coun trymen. In the joyful trust that Grant's election has given the death-blow to Ku-Klux Klans, and all manner of outrages on Un ionists and Frendmen as such, and that Impartial Suffrage will no longer be seri ously resisted, we hope to see the next four years signalized by an unprecedented expansion of the National Industry and a consequent increase oft ho National wealth. Wc hope to fce new cabins dot the prairie, new clearings chequer the forest, new mills, factories, furnaces, erected, North, South, East and West, until our annual product shall be hundreds of Millions greater than at present, while mines of Iron and of Coal, of Gold, Silver, Copper, &.c, shall be opened and worked, with an energy and to an extent that defies prece dent. Relieving that the systematic, effi cient Protection of Home Industry is the corner-stone of a wise, benignant National Policy, and that it is essential to the rapid development of our latent resources, to the prosperity of our country, the maintenance of her credit, and the honest payment of her debt, wc shall give it our most earnest and active support. THE DAILY TRIKUNE has been eo long known as the leading po litical newspaper of the country, that its special features need no elaborate descrip tion. It contains the fullest and most ac- Mif.fr i-orifirt. if t.lm Trnrfnf1 i n rra in tHrm- ,rrok and the. State Legislatures, careful glob, correspondence from all the princi- pal centers of intelligence at home and abroad, letters from travelers in foreign lands, reviews of new books, dramatic, musical, and fine art criticisms, literary, scientific, and religious miscellanies, and all the multitude of items which make up afirst-clas3 daily paper. It is printed with better and clearer type than any other daily journal in America. It is published every morning, Sunda3's excepted. Terms, $10 a year ; $5 for six months. THE SEMI-WEEKLY TRIBUNE is published every Tuesday and Friday, and contains all the editorial articles, not merely local in character; literary reviews ! corps of foreign and domestic correspon- dents ; special and Associated Press tele graphic dispatches ; a careful and complete summary of foreign and domestic news j exclusive reports of the proceedings of the Farmers' Club of the American Institute; talks about fruit, and other horticultural and agricultural information; stock, finan- j cial, cattle, dry goods, and general market j reports, which are published in the daily Tribune. The Semi-Weekiy Tribune also j :iy gives in the course of a year, three or four of the best and latest popular novels, by living authors. The cost of these alone, if bought in book form, would be from six to eight dollars. If purchased in the En glish Magazines, from which they are carefully selected, th3 cost would ba three or four times that sum. Nowhere else can so much current intelligence and perma nent literary matter be had so cheap a rate as in the Semi-Weekly Tribune. -Those who believe in the principles and approve of the character of the Tribune can increase its power and influence by joining with their neighbors in iorming clubs to subscribe for the Semi-V eekly edition. It will in that way be si'pplied to them at the lowest price for which such a paper can be printed. Terms of the Semi-Weekly Tribune r Mail subscribers, 1 copy, 1 jear 101 numbers, -100:2 copies, 1 year 104 numbers, 87 00 ; 5 copies, or over, for each copj' S3 00. Persons remitting for 10 copies $30 will receive an extra copy six months. Persons remitting for 15 copies 43 will receive an extra copy one 3ear. For $100 we will send 34 conies and the daily Tribune. . . THE AVEEKLY TRIBUNE. The Weekly Tribune' has continued to circulate a greater number of copies than any other newspaper in the country. Ye appreciate this confidence, and shall labor to retain-it. Its previous attractions will be continued and increased. The main features of our Weekly will be agri culture, literature, polities, and the mar kets, with the latest summary of thu daily news. . We have mado special arrange ments to increaso its usefulness as an agricultural journal. The Farmers' Club will be fully reported, and special articles on agricultural topics contributed by the best writers. No farmer who desires to till the soil with profit, and to know the progress constantly made in the science of his calling,' can afford to neglect the ad vantages of a newspaper like tho Weekly Tribune, especially when it unites with agriculture other features of interest and profit. The Weekly Tribune contains a summary of all that appears in the Daily and Semi-Weekly editions, while in addi tion it is made to address itself to the wants of the great farming class, lleviews of all the new publications, and of all that is new in music and the fine arts ; letters from all parts of the world some of them of rare interest to the farmer, as showing the progress of agriculture in other coun tries ; editorial essays on all topics of homo and foreign interest, together with full and carefully reported reports of the markets, will be furnished from week to week, and at a lower price than that of any newspa per in America. By pursuing this policy the Yfeekly Tribune has already attained its present commanding influence and cir culation, and Ave enter upon the new year with the assurance to our readers that no pains and no cxponsc will be spared to give it still greater usefulness and power, and to make it a welcome visitor to every fireside in the land. The Kditor of the Tribune purposes to write, during the year 1869, an elementa ry work on Political Economy, wherein the policy of Protection to Home Industry will be explained and vindicated. This work will first be given to the public through successive issues of the Tribune , and will appear in all its editions Daily, Semi-Weekly, and Weekly. We will thank those who think that the influence of the Tribune conduces to the profit and well being of the people to aid us in extending its circulation. Terms of the Weekly Tribune to mail subscribers : One copy, one year, 52 -issues, $2 00 ; five copies, to names of sub scribers at one P. O., 89 00 ; ten copies, to names of subscribers at ouc P. O., $1G 00, and one copy extra to ihe getter up of the club; twenty copies, to names of subscribers at one P. b.r $27 00, and one copy extra to "the getter(up of club ; City copies, to names of subscribers at one P. O. 05 j ten copies, to one 'address, in one order, $15 00, arid onccopy extra; twenty copies, to one address, in ono order, $25, and one copy to getter-up of club ; fifty copies, to one address, in ono order, ftfid 00 : one hundred eomfcs, to one ad dress. in one order, $100 00. I GUEELEY's HISTORY OF THE AVAR. The Tribune has often been applied for copies of Mr. Greeley's history of the late Civil War, entitled The American Con flict. Many evidently presume that it is published by us, so that we can give copies at pleasure. In several cases Union sol diers have written us saying that they were unable to pay its full price, but were nevertheless anxious to possess the work, and asking us to tell them by what means they may obtain it. Jn deference to these representations the publishers of the Tribune have made ftn atrigemcnt with Messrs . 0.r D. Cafe & Uo., publishers ct lhe American Conflict, whereby they are enabled to offer that wori to such persons as may see nt to ob tain mail subscriptions for tho Tribune as follows : One copy of the History, in two volumes, will be sent to each of the following clubs : ; The money for each club to be sent at one time, and all papers for the same club to be addressed to one Pest-office. ; For $21, ten copies weekly Tribune to names of subscribers. For $33, twenty copies weekly Tribune to names of subscribers. For $61, fifty copies weekly Tribune lo names of subscribers. For $116. 100 copies weekly Tribune, to names of subscribers. For $20, ten copies weekly Tribune to one address. For $106, one hundred copies weekly Tribune, to one address. For $36, ten copies Semi-Weekly Tri bune, lo one Post office. For $63, twenty copies semi-weekly Tribune, to cue Post office. For $116, forty copies semi-weekly Tri bune, to one Pest ofiice. i Friends wishing to secure the History ori these terms must send the clubs pre cisely as we have stated them. Semi Weekly and Weekly subscriptions must not be mixed in one Club. The American Conflict is a History of the late Civil War, its causes and inci dents, in two large and well printed octa vos cf C IS and 7S2 pages respectively, and is sold for $10." It is abundantly and ad mirably illustrated with plans of battles and sieges, portraits of Presidents, Gener al) Governors, Sic, who were prominent u'Le Struggle, Jiad with a very large -Map of the seat oi war. It has received from all quarters the highest commendations for accuracy of statement and fullness of de tail. It is substantially bound, and must be deemed a valuable addition to any li brary. These volumes should be placed in every school district library in the land, and each school contains scholars who can, with a few hours of attention, raise a Tri bune Club and securo the history. Al most any one who wants can now obtain it by giving a few hours to obtaining sub scription for the Tribune among his friends and neighbors, and we hope many will be incited to do so. The work will be promptly forwarded by express or by mail, prepaid, on receipt of the required sub scriptions. Terms, cash in advance. Drafts on New York, or Post office or ders, payable to the order of the Tribune, being safer, arc preferable to any other mode of remittance. Address THE TRIBUNE, New York. I'itlslmrg Commercial. The election of Grant marks an era in the history of the country. The future is full of promise. We stand on the thresh old of a period of remarkable interest. If the Presidential campaign awakened a de sire fbr reading and intelligence, the elec tion oi" Grant must create a wish among all el isses to be well informed at every step in the career on which, as a people, we ai-e about to enter. The people having elected a President by an unexampled majority, they will naturally wish to ob serve him at every step, know of every event ns it hap-v. ns, and have a a intelli gent understanding of men and things not oniy in our own country, but throughout the world. More than ever a good newspaper now becomes essential to cverv man who would keep himself informed concerning passing events. No man can pretend to know what life is or keep up with even the most moderate competitor, without he is the constant reader of a good newspaper. A good newspaper is the best investment any man can make a poor one the poorest. Although only established but recently, comparatively, the Pittsburg Commercial has won a place among the firsi journals of the country, and by common consent is the best paper in Pennsylvania. We might give from our correspondence and the notices of the press in this and other States, columns of commendation testimony sustaining the claim we have set up. The reason is evident. We give all the news. And the habitual reader of the Commercial will find himself well in formed on all topics of general interest. Few papers in the country have so exten sive a correspondence,' none has so com plete arrangements forgathering the news, and no other pajs so much attention to adapting .what it prints to the wants and associatiaus of its read-vs. The Commer cial is not merely a political paper. An advocate of the principles of the Republi can party, xt returns to political friend and foe a thousand times what he pays, i The Daily Commercial, ever ?incc it was established, has been ahead in givin" the latest, fullest, and most reliablenewsl It is not too much to say for it is' a common remark that locally it has caused a revo lution in journalism, and it exerts an ex tended influence on the public mind. Not professing to be a party organ, and wish ing not to be understood as the instru ment of any set, sect, or combination, yet devoted to the great principles which have so signally triumphed in Grant's election, the Commercial aims to be an educator of the public mind, the medium through which it will find expression, and the ad vocate and friend of truth in all things. If it" ls the organ-of" anything, - it is "of Pennsylvania interests, more especially of the great industrial classes, with whom it is in the closest sympathy, and of whom it is a part. As a commercial paper, es pecially in its extensive and reliable mar ket reports, the Commercial is recognized everywhere a3 authority, and it is daily read and relied cn in banks, counting rooms, by the mechanic, tradesman, and representative" man of every, calling. In this respect, wc spare time nor expense, and we take pride in believing that we have won a position which older papers have striven in vain to attain. In a word, if you desire the latest and all the news, tne tallest and most complete market re- ports, the choicest general reading and literature, and a complete newspaper in every respect, read the Pittsburg Com mercial. There are thousands who cannot aflbrd to take a daily paper, and to whom a weekly is nil-sufficient, provided it be a good one. To meet this want we publish the weekly Commercial, a very large sheet, each number containing an rmount of rcadinsr equal to a dollar volume, prepared express ly for those who desire in one paper all the News, and newspaper reading enough for a family. To this end we give in the weekly Commercialize particulars of lead ing events, whether oi' polities, finance, home occurrences, foreign intelligence. To render the weekly Commercial of especial value to the rural portion of the population, we give extensively of Agri- cultural readzng, tor which we have spec ial arrangements ; so that no number cf the paper shall fail to give what to any man with an acre of ground will be worth many times tho cott of a year's subscrip tion. Besides each number of the weekly is stored with choice family and fireside reading, including entertaining sketches of biography, travel and discovery, inter spersed with poetry, stories and light read ing. To this we add what lias already caused the weekly Commercial to be sought after very widely a full weekly report of all the markets of Pittsburg and the principal cities at home and abroad. Those reports, occupying nearly an entire page, arc to the buyer aud seller of what ever our population makes, grows or trades in, invaluable. 'lhe Commercial is published daily ana weeklv at the following rates : Daily pa per, one year $10 ; (liberal terms to News Dealej-s,) Weekly Paper, single copy one 3Tcar, $2 ; In clubs of twenty, and a copy free to the getter up, $1 50. Address COMMERCIAL, 70 Fifth Avenue, Pitts burgh, Pa. Truth Will Out. Ouce upon a time a nobleman gave a great supper. While the guests were at the table, two maskers came into the hall who were no larger than children five or six vears old one personated a lord, the other a lady. Their dress was as splendid as could be, and they danced very skillfully, to the great diversion of the guests. Everybody said they could not but admire the dexterity of thoe polite children enough. Then an old officer took an apple and threw it be tween the dancing couple. Suddenly the lord and lady rushed after the apple as though frantic. In the struggle, they tore off each other's masks, and behold ! instead of children, they were a couple of monkeys. All the company at the table laughed heartily, but the ell clficer said very gravely : "Monkeys and fools may dress and dance splendidly, but the day soon come3 when it is known who they are." Give the Devil his Due. Said tipsy John to his railing wife, as. staggering home at night, overcome br the might of beer and gin, he came in a vroful plight : "Don't be so hard in your charges, Lve ; I'm a little to blame, 'tis true ; but give the devil his due, nry love, oh ! give the devil his due." His helpmate gazed on J Jus wavering lorm as vainly he essayed to retain his seat in a treacherous chair, and readily answer made : "To give the devil his due, my love, is perfectly right, 'tis true ; but what would become of you, my love K oh ! what would becoxos of you ?" Dodging a Creditor. A creditor, whom he was anxious to avoid, met Sher idan coming out of Pall Mall. There was no possibility of voiding him, but Sheri dan did not lose his presence of mind. -"That's a beautiiul mare you are n," said n?. jjo you mint sj V".. s:ii the C red ltor. vi es, indeed. How does bhe trot ! s' quotn isneriuan. xite .creditor, . hip.iy flattered, put her into a full t:ot, Shcri- 1 i. 1 - 1 . 1 j 1. i . uan uoi-cu arouiiu ae comer, aud wasovt of sight in a moment. Rank and fashion may be all very fine yi time of peace, but rank and file must take precedence in time of war. An exchange has tho following, which, whether exactly true cr not, is a good Yan kee story : At the battb of Rappahanock Station, after the fifth Maine had gained possession of the works in their front, and were ta king a whole brigade of Johnnys to tho rear, Colonel Edwards, who was one of the first to reach the rifle-pits, took a few men from Company G, and pressed on in quest of more prisoners, supposing sote might be trying to get away in the dark ness ct the night, rouowing the line of fortification down toward thcrvVer, bo Eaw before him a long line of troops in the rifle-pits. Finding that he was in r. tight fix, he determined to put on a bold face. " Where is the officer in command of these troops ?" demauded the gallant Col onel. " Here," answered a Colonel, who was commanding a rebel brigade, "and who are vou, sir k My name is Colonel Edwards, of tho Fifth Maine, and I demaud you to surren der your company." "1 will confer with my officers first," re plied the rebel officer. "Not a moment will I allow, sir," said Colonel Edwards. "Don't you see my col umns advancing? (pointing to a larg body of men marching over the hill, who were the rebel prisoners, being notched to the rear.) Your forces cn the right have all been captured, and ycur retreat is cut cix, and as tne re Dei commander hesitated, he continued: "Forward! Fifth Maine" and. Twenty-first New York!" . 4; I surrender, sir," said tho rebel com mander, quickly.. "Will ycu allow tne' the courtesy of re taining a sword that has never been dis honored ?" "Yes, sir," replied Colonel E., " but I will take the swords of thoso ofHcL-rs," pointing to the Colonels by hid siue. They were handed to him. "New order vour men to lav down their arms, and pass to the rear with this jruard. They obeyed, and a whole brigade of Louisianians, the famous Fifth and Sixth Tigers being among th, porm!(tol - l-o disarmed "hud marched to the rear as pris oners of war, by Colonel Edwards, and less than a dozen men cf his regiment. A "Gal Baby at That." To desiro a change of sex is not commonly consider ed a manly aspiration ; to weep about it seems ludicrous. Yet the thing has been done, and on the tented field. In tho very fiercest of the battle at 3Ialvern Hill, General Lee encountered a tall Johnny Reb iti full retreat, and blubbering fear fully. Jle stepped him and shamed him ; but the fellow openly avowed cowardice, and said he knew he was a coward when they 'scripted him. "Well," said the patient but vexed General, "that may be, but you need net bellow about it like a great baby." "Baby !" echoed the conscript, "I wick I was a baby, and a gal baby at that!'' A crafty man a sea captairi. -A tiidit fit delirium tremens. O Pay your pay theirs. Avoid s?:: debtfc. so that ethers can lal, fjr.thii a pest to any community. How to please a lady let her do as she pleases. The gayest wmilers are often the sad cst weepers. Waves that do not lirowri the waves of ladles' handkerchiefs. As long as the miser lives, his money is sure to be heir tight. As every thread of gold is valuable so is every minute of time. Did you ever sec a woman who had to be told ' of her beauty before she was aware of it herself? Mr. Short says the only thing he can pay these times is his addresses to voung ladies; and these he never allows "to get overdue. A ycting physician, asking pcrmisslca of a Lidy to kiss her, &ac replied, "No, sir, I never like to have a doctor's bill thrust in my face." "No man in England thinks of black ing his own boots," said an Englishman to Mr. Lincoln. "Whose boots docs ho Hack V' Mr. Lincoln quietly asked. , "There are a great multitude cv dividuals:" savs Josh Billinirs, "who in are like blind mules, anxioils enough to kick, but kan't tell where." A Boston paper mentions au individ ual's disease, aud savs : "His remain were committed to that bjiirne whence no traveler returns accompanied by his fiiends." . . . A" young lady who' was rebuked by her mother. for kiting her intended, justi fied the . act by , quoting the passage : , "U I.atever ye would tiu:t men suouiu aa to you, do ve even so unto them." ! ' " , .T1,T v. , ,1.1 is nil a fieetinrr show." aid a priest to a culprit on the gallows. "Ye;?," was the prompt reply, "but if you have no objection. I'd rather see the tduw a little longer