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4. A. BARKER, Editor and Proprietor.
j.TODD HUTCHINSON, Publisher.
VOLUME 5.
TvIREGTORY.
XJ
LIST OF POST OFFICES.
Post Office.
Bethel Station
Ctrolltown,
Chess Springs,
Conemaugb,
Cresson,
Ebensburg.
Fdlen Timber,
GalUtiin,
Hemlock,
johustown,
Loretto,
Mineral Point,
Xanster,
PlattsTille,
Soieland,
SL Aogustine,
Scrip Level,
Soaman,
Sammerhill,
Summit,
ffilmore,
Post Matter. Lhttrict.
Enoch Reese, Blacklick.
Joseph Behe, Carroll.
Henrj Natter, Chest.
A. G. Crooks, Taylor.
J. Houston, Wa3hint'n.
John Thompson, Ebensburg.
Asa H. Fisko White.
J. M. Christy, Gallitzin.
Wm Tiley, Jr., Washt'n.
I. E. Chandler, Johnst'wn.
M. Adlesberger, Loretto.
E. Wissinger, Consm'gh.
A. Durbin, Monster.
Andrew J Ferral, Susq'han.
G. W. Bowman, White.
Stan. Wharton, Clearfield.
George Berkey, Richland.
B. M'Colgan, Washt'n.
B: F. Slick, Croyle.
William M'Connell Washt'n.
Morris Keil, S'merhill.
CHURCHES, MINISTERS, &c.
Presbyterian Rt. D. Harbison, Pastor.
Preaching every Sabbath morning at 10 J
o'clock, and in the evening at 6 o clock, feab
Mth School at 1 o'clock, A. M. Prayer meet
jag every Thursday evening at 6 o'clock.
Methodist Episcopal Chur eh Rkv. J. S. Lest
s, Preacher in charge. Rev. W. H.M'Bride,"
Assistant. I'reacning every auernaieoaooain
mominc, at 101 o'clock. Sabbath School at 9
dock, A. M. Prayer meeting every lnursday
tveaing, at 7 o clock.
Welch Independent Ritv Ll. R. Powell,
hitor. Preaching every Sabbath morning at
h o'ciock, and in the evening at 6 o'clock.
Sibbath School at 1 o'clock, P. M. Prayer
meeting on the first Monday evening of each
month : and on every Tuesday, iuursaay ana
Friday evening, excepting the first week in
ta:h month.
Calvinistic Sfethodist Rev. Jonx Williams,
Paitor. Preaching every Sabbath evening at
Jand G o'clock. Sabbath School at K o'clock,
A. 11. Piayer meeting every Friday evening,
at 7 o'clock. Society every l uesaay e ening
t 7 o'clock.
. Disciples Rev. W. Lloyd, Pastor. Preach
sj every Sabbath morning at 10 o'clock.
Particular JJaptistsRnv. Iavid Jenkins,
Pwtor. Preaching every Sabbath evening at
J o'clock. Sabbath Schoofat at I o'clock, P. M.
Cdtkolic Rev. M. J. Mitchell, Pastor.
Strvjces every Sabbath morning at 10J o'clock
lal Vespers at 4 o'clock in the eveuing.
CBESBl'RG 31 AILS.
MAILS ARRIVE.
Extern, dailv, at 11 1 o'clock, A. M.
Western, "" at 11 J o'clock, A. M.
MAILS CLOSE.
Ewtern, daily, at 8 o'clock, P. M.
Western, " at 8 o'clock, P. M.
53rThe mails from Butler,Indiana,Strongs
iun, ic, arrive on Thursday of each week,
u 5 o'clock, P. M.
Leave Ebensburg on Friday of each week,
Ub A. SI.
t&The mail3 from Newman's Mills, Car
toIItowD, &c, arrive on Monday, Wednesday
il Friday of each week, at 3 o'clock, P. M.
Leave Ebensburg oa Tuesdays, Thursdays
Saturdays, at 7 o'clock, A. M.
RAILROAD SCHEDULE.
CRESSON STATION.
est Rait.
Express leaves at
8.18 A. M.
9.11 P. M.
9.02 A. 31.
7.08 P. M.
3.15 P. M.
8.3S P. M.
12.36 A. M.
7.08 A. M.
10.39 A. M.
I .10 V JJlUC
Phila. Express
Mail Train
" Emigrant Train
list Through Express
" Fast Line
" Fast Mail
Through Accom.
t : -
4
it
(i
ti
COUNTY OFFICERS.
fudges of the Court President, Hon. Geo.
MOr. Hnnlinmlnn A 5ftcintp. lieor?e W.
iey, Henry C. Devine.
Prothonotary Joseph M'DonaH.
fyister and Recorder James Griffin.
SienjfJohn Buck.
Strict Attorney. Philip S. Noon.
County Commissioner Peter J. Little, Juo.
uapbell, Edward Glass.
Treasurer Isaac Wike.
oor House Director George 51'CulIough,
fge Delany, Irwin Batledge.
Poor House Treasurer George C. K. Zahm.
Alitor William J. Williams. George C.
l Zahm. Francis Tierner.
County Surveyor. Henry Scahlan.
kroner. -William Flattery.
X'-rcantile Appraiser Patrick Donahoe.
ty'f. of Common School J. F. Condon.
JlEXSBlRC DOR. OFFICERS.
AT LARGE.
'wtieet of the Peace David H. Roberts
Prison Kinkead.
A. a . Barker.
Director Ael Llovd. Phil S. Noon,
"hua D. Parrish, Hugh Jones, E. J. Mills,
tT"lJ. Jones.
SAST WARD.
Thomas J. Davis.
rcn Council J. Alexander Moore, Daniel
'MlS. Richard H- Tihhntt Etran E. Evans.
'"'am Clement.
lptetors Alexander Jones. D. O. Evans,
pre of Election Richard Jones, Jr.
j';or Thomas M. Jones.
AWant Assessors David E. Evads. Wm.
"aria.
WEST WARD.
sa&?eWilliam Mills, Jr.
- Council John Dougherty, C
shm, Isaac Crawford, Francis
Jamej S. Todd.
George C.
A. Shoe-
jl"' u. w. uaiman, KODerts uvans.
"t of Election Michael Hassoiu
'wfut .4MMor William Barnes. Dan-
Somebody's Darling.
Into a ward of the whitewashed halls,
Where the dead find dying lay,
Wounded by bayonets, shells and balls,
Somebody's darling was borne one day
Somebody's darling, so young and so brave,
Wearing yet on his pale sweet face,
Soon to be hid by the dust of the grave,
The lingering light of his boyhood's grace.
Matted and damp are the carls of gold,
Kissing the snow of that fair young brow J
Pale are the lips of delicate mould
Somebody's darling is dying now.
Back from his beautiful blue-veined brow
Brush all the wsndering waves of gold,
Cross his hands on bis bosom now,
Somebody's darling is still and cold.
Kiss him once for somebody's sake,
Murmur a prayer soft and low ;
One bright curl from its fair mates take.
They were somebody's pride, you know ;
Somebody's hacd hath rested there
Was it a mother's, soft and white?
And have the lipsof a sister fair
Been baptized in the waves of light?
God knows best ! He has somebody's love;
Somebody's heart enshrined him there ;
Somebody wafted his name above,
Night and morn, on the wings of prayer.
Somabody wept when he marched away,
Ljoking so handsome, brave and grand ;
Somebody's kis3 on his forehead lay,
Somebody clung to his parting hand.
Somebody's waiting and watching for him
Yearning to hold him agaiu to his heart:
And there he lies with his blue eyes dim,
And the smiling child-like lips apart.
Tenderly bury the fair young dead, .
Pausing to drop on his grave a tear;
Carve on the wooden slab at his head
Somebody's darling slumbers here."
In Field Hospitals- .Sketch by
. an Officer.
I began to be sick knew I was
o be sick, for my appetite began to fail
o
fiiim'
me always a dead certain indication. . A
contrary thought took possession of me,
and I concluded not to be sick anyhow
The case at this point stood, Will vs. 'Na
ture. After a hard fight, Will ran and
Nature had the victory. Went to the
field hospital ; dirty Doctor came up and
asked me what was the matter with me.
Told him I did not know. "I know,"
said he looking at mo as if I had stolen
something, "you are going to have typhoid
fever." Told him I was glad to hear it.
Doctor smiled and asked me how T felt.
said I hankered after something good to
eat and for a pretty girl to fan me, and in
conclusion said I would like some. oyster
soup. Medical man laughed a laugh of
derision and asked me it 1 thought he
was Delmonicoj but oyster soup was oys-
ter soud. and I would like some. Medicus
told me he could not get that article, but
could iu a half a day or so get me a beef
bone to pick. Disgust here approached
and satin sullen dignity on my manly
brow. Concluded not to wait tor the bone.
( and hobbled along to the ambulances.-
j Found about three thousand of them in a
row.
ana as tea one or tne artvers wnere
my division ambulances were. Driver
said about five miles ahead, he gussed.
Traveled on and saw the red - Maltese
cross; knew that was where I belonged;
showed my pass to the Doctor, who was in
charge of the dead carts. Doctor said he
was glad to see me.
At this speech, which Esculapius de
livered with a benignant smile, I felt
both flattered and mad. Did not know
whether sail Doctor cherished a high
personal regard for tne, or whether he felt
a professional pride in my horrible condi
tion. Finally the Doctor told me in a
confidential way, that, as my legs were not
shot off, I should have to walk. I then,
spoke to him with emphasis, and succeeded
in impressing upon his mind the impossi
bility of my perigrinating. At last got in
an ambulance, inhabited by three men,
each minus a leg. Presently a man came
along with a lot of beef tea, and gave the
three men some of it. Told the man in a
very weak voice that I hadn't had any
thing to eat in three days; man asked me
if I was wounded. Replied no, I wasn't
wounded, but I was hungry. Sequel
came off minus beef tea. Three men in
ambulance smacked their lips and looked
insultingly at
me, ana asxea me n
i t i
I was
really hungry; made me mad and I asked
them if they could dance the gallop.
They felt bad, and a huge smile illumi
nated my handsome though meagre face.
By and by ambulance started and went
about two feet and stopped for two hours
and a half, after which it went ten feet
further, then at intervals succeeded in
getting a mile ahead. Stopping all night
here, wetit to sleep j dreaming of eweet
I WOUCD RATHER BE RIGHT
EBENSBURG, PA., THURSDAY, AUGUST 25, 1864.
bread and porter bouse steak, and wished
was near Bloomer, for I knew he would
give me sonie beef tea. ,;Woke up next
morning ana iouna a straggler makin
coffee.... Immediately : made . his acquain
tance and said army coffee was mighty
good ; straggler eaid yes, and immediately
began to tell bow many battles he had
been in. . ... interrupted straggler with the
remark thai I had not had anything to
eat ior three days. Straggler looked at
tentively at me, (hope began to revive in
my tender bosom,) and said, 44by George
you must be awful hungry," and drank
up all the coffee. Hose up in desperation
and cot in the ambulance. -
Three men minus one pedestal each drink
ing beef tea and laughing ; ambulance
started and performed a feat hitherto un
known ; it succeeded in going to Freder
icksburg, five .miles, before night, Arri
ving in that town, was shown into a room.
Man in room told me I could have a place
one foot and a half wide between a man
with a leg off and one minus an arm.
Respectfully declined, and man told me I
need not put on airs. Felt too weak to
remonstrate, and told him; I was not. put
ting on airs, but would like to have some
beef tea. ' Man told me to go to the stew
ard; went to the steward; steward told
me to go to the ward doctor; went to the
ward doctor; ward doctor told me to go to
toe division surgeon; division surgeon told
me to make an application in writing, and
he would forward it to the medical direc
tor, and if he approved of it, he (the
division surgeou) would order the ward
doctor to tell the steward to command the
inan to give me some be?f tea.
Left the hospital in disgust; went two
squares in town and saw a fat woman
standing in a door; asked her if she was
a Union woman, and she said, "ot course."
Felt encouraged, and asked her if she had
any beef tea that I could get a small cup
full of,' without sending a petition numer
ously signed by the most respectable citi-izv-ns
in town, through the proper military
channels, to Mr. Lincoln. She said she
had some beef in the house and could give
me some tea iu about six hour?, but she
never had or never would have eating
between meals in her house. I tried my
winning smile to coax her, but she said I
had gone without for so long, a few hours
would make no difference ; she said I
could go to bed and sleep it off. She gave
me a bed and some apple jack; got on the
bed and drank up the apple jack ; felt good
and tolerably happy; asked the old wo-
man if she didn't belong to the F. F. V.'s;
she said yes, and they never could be
conquered. .1 told her that she was a
brick. She intimated that it. would not
be safe to run against bricks. I replied
that we would not run against them, but
would smash them. Old woman got up
and told me she had no beef tea for
Abolitionists, and saked mo to leave.
Thought I would make love to the old
lady, and began by asking her if she was
married. She said "yes, twice. . Asked
her if her marital were both dead. "No
they ain't," said she, "they're neither of
them dead. lelt horrified, and asked
for an explanation. Woman said one
husband was in JafF. Davis' and the other
in old ua.De s army, so mat tney never
came together. Asked the old lady what
she would do if we should take her rebel
spouse a prisoner. Woman said she had
thought of that, and had made up her
mind to accuse him of.beiug a spy and
get him hung. Listened in horror, and
finally ended by asking the old lady for
some beef tea. Old lady said that she
had made up her mind that she could not
supply me, as she had made a mistake ; it
was the woman next door that had beef,
but she had not had anything to eat for
aix months.
Got up, went out in the street, and star
ted in a wagon for Belle Plain ; got there
after twenty-four ' hours' riding ; was in
formed by a contraband that the Sanitary
and Christian Commissions had coffee and
bread ; went to Sanitary's tent, and stood
outsido of a big rope ; noticed a lot of
employees devoted to the soldiers, which
devotion they showed by filling their own
receptacles for food ; climbed over the
rope and got in among the crowd of em
ployees; seized upon a loaf of bread and
a tin cup of coffee that had just been
poured out by a young man who wore
patent leather gaiters and a boiled shirt;
went further; took somo sugar and con
densed milk the folks had in there; saw
some butter in a can, and got up and took
that, and then sat down closo in the gut
ter. ' :' ,
Pretty soon young man in gaiters and
boiled shirt missed his coffee, and a big
fat man said he could not eat bread with
out butter, so they all hunted for it. Dis
covery inevitable discovered. Young
man asked me what I' was doing theie
anyhow ; old fatty said the butter was
only intended tor the attendants, and tne
milk too ) felt compelled to take eome po
THAN PRESIDENT. Hmby Clat.
lice ; rose up - and made the following
speech:' "Gentlemen, I have been four
days without anvthing to eat, and have
succeeded by that compulsory means in
starving out quite a severe case of fever.
I once paid some twenty-fivo dollars out
oi my siender income at one of your San
itary Fairs for nothintr. I have earned
what I am eating, and paid for it besides,
ana it you don t let me alone, I'll mash
your noses into your d d ugly faces V
a was let alone. , .
;? - " "
Bill Jones Among- tne Girls.
The following story, contributed by a
country triend to the N. O. Delta, is too
good to be lost : "though " sava thk nJtn
its raciness may not accord with the ex-
auea tastes or the Miss JNannities who
dresa the lees of their tables i n fr J llpil
pantalettes, and faint over a nude cher-
no :
HM Tj :T.
uij'iiis xaiuu waa aa uospiiaois
old soul. Every Friday evening it was
lue aeugut ot tne girls at the Academy,
a&d the boys at the school? and college,
t go to old Squire Parish's farm, about
six miles from town, and stroll in the
wods, bathe in the: creek, search the
orchard and the hens' nests, and turn
everything about the premises upside
down. And old Squire Parish would sit in
his chimnev corner, mna in mouth, find tell
them stories about the first settlement of
the country, and how "Old Hickory"
whipped the Indians for the old Squire
had bten in Jackson's arjny and never
let the boys off without at least one story
about the "old man," as the Squire de
lighted to call the General. J
, One Saturday, about the middle of the
afternoon, Bill Jones a wild, harum-scarum
young man of some sixteen winters
rode up to the Squire's door and hailed
the house . His summons waa answered
bjthat black . young rascal Josh, who
told Jones that 'the boys were gone a
squirrel-hunting ; "but you better believe
Massa Bill," continued Josh, "that th
gals is carrying on high. Why, Massa
Bill, you can hear 'em squealing up here."
Jones soon learned that the girls had gone
to their usual bathing place, which was at
tne loot oi a high precipice, and only ap
proached by that side bv a solitarv foot
path, which was guarded by "Dinah."
On the other side of the creek lay a broad
sand bank, so that to one could approach
it without beinr seen. Jones had hoen
the Sq uires house so often that ho knew
hi . .
au ms stories oy neart, and it was almost
impossible to find the bovs in tha wnnds
so he determined to have some fun out of
the girls. About a quarter of a mile up
the creek lived "Old Aunt Judv " ami
there Jones and his attendant, Josh, im
m -
meaiately proceeded. While Josh weut
to the old woman, and for a fu' nence nur-
chascd the largest irourd in hei possession.
Jones supped behind the garden and
threw off his clothes; then cutting off
enough of the handle end of the rrnnrrl tr
admit his heaS and making two holes for
his eyes, ho slipped it on his head and
jumped into the stream. So soon as the
gourd reached the point above the bathing
place, it commenced floating towards the
shore until within a few yards of the
bathers, when it drifted against a limb
which overhung the stream, and lodged.
If Jones had looked through' the loopholes,
(he swears he didn't) he would have seen
a sight that would ha7e made the gourd
itself blush. On one rock were three or
four swimmers, alternately squatting down
and rising up on their heels, and imitatiug
the cry ot a bulfrog, and when one would
say "chug I" they would all plunge into
the water, frog fashion. At another place
they were striving to duck each other,
while a third party was leading, by force,
into the water a coy damsel, who had been
too modest to undress before so many folks.
But Jones' irourd did not Ion? remain un
noticed in the water, and the damsel who
espied it sailed up to it, seized it, and
with slight resistance it came o7, and dis
closed the curly head of Bill Jones !
Miss Betsev screamed, and Bill Jones
a S , .
yelled ! Miss Betsy and the other bath
ers rushed up the bank, and Jones, in his
i. " J " . 1 1
irigut ana contusion, iouowca men).
Here the girls turned on him, seized him
and threw him on his face, twined his
arms around a sapling, and having
bound his hands with a handker
chief. Jones lav defenceless in tho nower
of his captors. The girls now leisurely
dressed tnemselves, and then each provid
ed herself with a trim birch or willow rod.
9
and without further ceremony began ap
plying them to the back, sides and legs
of Door Jones. Jones twisted, and .Tonos
I .7 '
writhed; he drew himself up and spread
himself out; he begged and he prayed.
But in vain. His captors were insensible
to pity, until their arms were fatigued, and
their rods frayed into ribbons. Alas,
for poor Jones; he-was not yet 'to os
cape. ' His tormentors provided them
selves with fresh instruments, and station
ed themselves in a row along the footpath
from Jones' tree to the water's edge;
and on the rock Irom which he was to
plunge was posted a stout country lasH,
whose strength he had often tried in
wrestle, and whose endurance he had oft-
ten tested in a "bran dance." At last
he was released, and told that he must run
the gauntlet. He could not but comply.
Straitening himself up and drawing a long
breath, he started at full speed, as he
tho t, but at every step something touched
him that accelerated his motions, and as
he was about to take the last final leap,
such ablow fell on his rear that the sparks
flew out of his eyes, and he bounded half
across the stream at one leap. This rock
has been known as Jones' Leap ever since.
Without shopping to see any more of
his lair friends, Jones hastened to Aunt
Judy s cottage, dressed himself, gave Josh
a thorough kicking, borrowed a sheep
!- A Tr. . 1
&Kin irom unc duay, mountea ms norse
and rode slowly back into town. And
from that day to this, Bill Jones has never
shown his face, nor any other part of him,
in good old Squire Parish's house, nor the
stream that runs bv its door.
a
-
JeJF. Davis Terms of Peace.
At Pawtucket, a few days since, Mr
Gilmore (Edmund Kirkc delivered a
lecture, describing his iuterview with Jeff
Davis during a late visit to Richmond,
and giving the substance of their conver
sation on the terms of peace. The fol
lowing is an extract therefrom :
"I went to Richmond with the Rev.
Col. Jaquess, and went with the hope of
making negotiations which might result
in peace. If we should succeed, we
thought that the consciousness of having
served our country would pay our expen
ses. If we failed, we might still serve
the country by letting the people of the
-North know what was the reason of our
failure ; for I went with propositions on
the basis of which I might have made an
arrangement for peace with Mr. Davis,
and if we were unsuccessful, it would be
useful for the country to know what prop
ositions were rejected. We went to Rich
mond iu an ambulance, and were three
hours on the. way after we entered the
rebel lines. We entered Richmond at 10
o'clock, and planted our white flag in the
very heart of the rebel capital. As we
stopped, Judge Ould, the rebel commis
sioner of exchange, directed Col. Jaquess
to button up his overcoat, as it was dan
gerous to be seen with a blue uniform in
the streets of Richmond. We were taken
to a hotel, and shown up to No. GO a
shabby room with some fine furniture in
very bad order. We were provided with
supper, and directed how to apply fur an
interview with the President. Ihe next
morning we directed a note to Secretary
Benjamin, asking an interview with the
President, and were invited to call upon
him, when we made an engagement to
meet the President that eveuing, which
was Sunday.
"On meeting our engagement, we were
shown into the State Department, where
we saw Mr. Benjamin, a small, plump,
black-haired, black-eyed man, seated at
his usual place, and at his right a pale,
thin man, dressed in a suit of darkish
gray, with a mouth and chin expressive
of the greatest determination. The latter
was Mr. Davis. We told him simply that
we camo without official authority, but
knowing the opinions of our Government,
to see on what terms peace might be made.
Mr. Davis replied,' quietly, Withdraw
your armies from our territory; aud peace
will follow of itself.' We told him that
the Northern people would never agree to
any plan which did not include the estab
lishment of the Union. Mr. Davis said
that we never could live in peace. The
North had sowed such a bitterness between
the two sections that we never could have
peace in this generation. We then urged
upon him that it was his duty to use ev
ery effort to put an end to this monstrous
bloodshed. He acknowledged this, and
declared that none of the blood shed in
this war could he lay to his own charge.
They, the South, were not fighting tor
slavery; they were fighting for indepen
dence ; and independence or extermina
tion they wouid have. We then tried to
show him that the position of the rebel
armies was such that it was better for
them to give up the contest while they
could do it with honor; but he was un
willing to admit that his armies were in
such a desperate position. He laid . tho
blame of the barbarity of this war entirely
upon the North, utterly ignoring the in
stances of rebel barbarity which we brought
to his notice.', I then had a considerable
conversation with Mr. Davis, in which I
indirectly offered him the terms which. I
had been. authorized to suggest; bat as
he. did not show any .disposition to meet
me- I did 'not state them explicitly.
TERMS-'2'00 PER ANIVUM
. "a,t$WO IN ADVANCE
NUMBER 48.
These terms will be given through the
newspapers in a short time. They Teref
in general, entire abolition, a general
amnesty, no confiscation, the debts of tha
South to be ignored, the debts of the
General Government to be borne by all
the States. 3Ir. Davis declared that such
terms could never be accepted by tha
Southern people, and that rather than
submit to tbeni they would stake their
whole property and their national exis
tence. Among tlie Mormons.
Artemas Ward has been on a tour to
Salt Lake City, where he saw and became
intimate with Brigham Young. He re
lates a portion of his experience :
In private conversation with Brigham,
I learnt the followin fax : It takes him
six weeks to kiss his wives. He don't do
ii only onct a year, and says its wuss nor
cleanin house. He don't pretend to know
his children, there is so many of um, tha
they all know him. He says about every
child he meets calls him Par, and her takes
it for granted it is so. Hii wives are
very expensive. They allew want some
thing, and ef he don't agree, they set the
house in an uproar lie says he don't
have minits peace. ; His wives fite among
themselves so mush that he has bilta fitiu
room for tharo spcshul benefit, and when
too of em git into a row he has um turned
loose inty that place, where the dispoot is
settled according to the London prize ring.
Sumtimes they abooz himself individually.
They have pulled the most of his hair out
at the roots, & he wares many a horrible
scar upon his body, inflicted with mob han
dles, broom stick,, & sich.
Occashunally they git mad and scald
him with bilia hot water. When ho got
any wase cranky, the'd shut him up in- a
dark'closit, previsely wippin him arter
the style of muthers when their offspring
gits unruly.' Sumtimes when he went iu
swimtnin, they'd go to the banks of the
lake & steal his close, thereby compellin
him to sneek home by a sircootiou3 rowt,
dresst iu the Scanderlus stile of the Greek
Slaiv.
"I find that the keers of married Ufa
way hevy on me," sed the Profit, ''and
sometimes I wish Ide remained single." 1
I left the Profit & started for the taverns
where I put up to. On my way I was
overtook by a large crowd of Mormons,
which eurrouuded me and stated that they
was going into the show free. "
"Well," sez I, "et I find a individual
who is goin round lettin folks into his
show free, He let you know."
" We've had -a revelashun bidden us to
go into A. Ward's show without payin
uothin V they showtcd. - '
"Yes," hollered a lot of femail Mor
monesscs, seizing me by the cote tales &
swingin me round very rapid, "we're all
goin in free, so says the Revalashun 1" ,
" What s Old Revalashun got to do with
my show !" sez I gettin putty riled TelI
Mister Revalashun," sez I drawin myself
up to my full hite and lookin round upon
the ornery crowd with a proud and defiant
mean "Tell Mister Revalaishun to mind
his own business, subject only to tho
Konstitution of the United States." 1
'Oh, let us in, that's a sweet man' sed
several femails, puttin their arms round
me in luvin stile. "Becum 1 of us; becum
a Priest, and hev wives sealed to you."
"Not a seal," sez I, startin back in hor-
ror at the idee. . ' '
"Oh, stay, sir, stay !" said a tally tawnt
femail, ere whose hed 37 Summers must
have parsed; "stay, & ile be your Gentle
Gazelle."
"Not ef I know it yott wont," sez I.'
"Awa, yu scanderlus f'emai!, awal Go &'
be a Nunnery." That's what I sed, and
jest so. , . .
"&, sed a fat, chunkey femail, who
must nave wade more than too hundred
lbs., "I will be thv -weet eidin Star." . .
"Sez I, "He bet two dollars and a half
you won. I H here ere 1 Kome lie still.
be troo 2 thee, O Betsy Jane !" (N. B. :
Betsy Jane is my wife's name.)
" Wiist thou not tarry with us into tho
Promuol Land V sed several of the mis- '
erable critters. ' . ;
Ile see you all espesh&lly cussed b4 I ;
wn?t, roared 1, as mad as cood be at thair
infernal noncents. I girded my Loins &
fled the Seen. I packt tip my duds & left '
Sale Lake, which is a grand Soddum and
Germorrer, inhabited by as vane and on- :
principled a set of retches as ever drew
breth in cny spot on the Globe.. .
SSar The following is a most heart-ren
ding war epigram : .
Says U. S. Grant to Rl E. Lee
1 "Surrender Petersburg to me."
Says R.- E. Lee to U. 8, Grant- . ? . :
"Have Petersburg? ' Oh, no you shan't."
"I shan't ?" says Grant, "Oh very well; '
Tou say I shaa't, I ay I kel."- -
BSf The heart, like a watehnian,' sho'd :
confine itself to its. regular beat.
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