t - f 1 f 4 r. XHIX'SIIYSOY, Publisher. I WOULD RATHER DE RIGHT THAN PRESIDENT. Hexry Clav. . Ii:it AWIM. 11.30 I. VE MTCE. 1 s T K U M ri : - Civ ill 1! J (3 VOLUME 2. DIRECTORY. UIKI) KKl'RF.SSLY FOR "THE ALLKC II AX1AX or post oi niKs. I'ozl M.n!rr. J)'?;, els. . 0 i . -:. .! ,.::. i':iv.!. ,i i. josepu urmuun, 1 oiler. Joienli S M.ir.iis, Llacklick. Ibvtjainin Wis Iner. Carroll. Dull. Li I in !. Chest. J.i'.i 1 .1. Trovt-H. WH-hini'n .'lis. II. Jl l'iie. l-.eie Thonqisou, J. M. Chri-ty, joseih (ill I. Y ui. M' louyli, 11. A. IJoggS. V u. (I vi mi. K. WN-dner, A. I . irl. in'.' I l l acis Clivni'ii t. Au.irf.v J. l'"lTl-;l'. i'r. W. Uowmttn. Win. Uyan. Sr., ( ; Mi.-j-i- ("el r.ii'.. I'., '.i 1.1-;.) W.n. Miitr;'v. Mi M. CilU -.i't A li.vk.' F.!en barg. White. (Ji'llit.in. Chest. Wiislu'n. Jo'iiiist'wn. LolCttO. Co'.iem'gli. M ui! - i er. ('o.:c:n';ill. Su--i ha ii. While. CieartieU. i::-;ii.;:ui. W;!ifn. ("rode. Wn'sht'n. .S'niuicrhill. 1 in M. i 1.1C r, A 1- la: U k . 1. Hauiuson. i':i--;or. I'UTV ;S.ibb:itli morning :it 0 i i l the celling at 'i o'cb.ck. H;ib .! .il 'J o'clock. A. M. -er laeet- i':. .r.- evellil!' ;'t 0 o'clock. ;..- :l ch:'! v.iciiln; ock in ! I r : . J . S c a k r. . M. .-v.m!, As . . !:. .ill ei 11:1 !! y :r. r 7 hi the KcY .1 ; e very r:'il. the mornin ati'ia.n r-euooi ;ii J o i",;n'n, .v. .11 . in- eerv Tlmr-.lay evening tit T . . 1 . . 'I V 1 i 1 1 .V K L I. . i".; i u :i t ocluek. . . ' 1 o.t e .1 ; '1 i' 1 V ; v :;.!:. .;! 1:1; 1 ' " . ; i i l the eveninur :it i 1 S - , ...! :t 1 . l..rk, 1. M. Rl :i i t . ,..i liio : i . 1. .'.liMi.i.iy evenir.ir vf eneh ,'nl .:i tV'TV TiK'S'hiv, 'i'iilli':iv evening, exeejitiu; the tiret week .in. .) ,7,'. R;-:v. Jmiis Williams, m' every S.i':.h;Uh eveiiin;,'- at .'-, '1. I '.1 '..Jul nt l'l o'c'oek, 't :;.i : iVtiy i'riuuy ever.in; rl'.'iy every Tuesday ev 'liiuj Wm.Llovd. rastor rreach- ' !i miirui'.i at lo o'clock. , i'.r.v. U.vvin Jkxkins. cv.-rv S 'libtit.i i-vcniii at . .u'.i School at 1 o'cbick. i'. M. j .M. .1. .M 1 1-'-:'. i:li.. 1'astnr hbilh llliHT.'lin at i o ' o'clock o'clock i.i the cveaiiii'. i:::i:-.N:si'ii; .1: ms. mails Aiu.iv;:. ' ii " . . :.t 1 1 o'. -lock 1. ' at 10 m n r i 1 !' A. M. p. .lock P. M. ' .-t 1'. ' "! ill- f.-o'U !' 1 ti '!'. I in '.. arrive on Tii:.r.-d:; : i'. m. ' i.-a-'.-.r oa I'lid.'.v A. .'.'. . na.St rons oi eich v ec k. f each week. froi.l Newman' lw .,n Moinlav. ill. Car-.-.!:, -i. V i:. T. M. hurs.la vs s from w h vovk. at :; o rb- . ! : n T in- .'la . T ' i To clock, A . M . i e oi.en on Suuilav .M . Wil.Mwur. STATION. - - 1 r.i 1 .'. Train, - Train Tr.;in. li-nvf at S..-,r. A. M. ir J-T l M. 7. is . M 1 g . 1 g l". M i.os A. ."! V'3'V OFi'IC EiiS. e C'mtri. I'reshlent, lion. CIco iiig.ioa ; Associates, (!eorgeW r.l .(ones. Jr. '.. Jos.-pii M'Donab!. ' !. 'rrurifr. .Michael llassor. A' ,-.h-r and Recorder. John Scan- ; Ibibert I. Linton, v .!,,;. William Linton. "' .1 7 'un,-). l'liiliji S. Noon. 1 ('., ..'.v.v ;,( .. John bearer, Abel t. -i i'l T. Storm. tit'', ui )..,V.(f-. (leorsre C. K. Zahm. '' iJ.iiimi.-xinDerx. John S, 1 lohn A. blair, ..i..c Ulririnrx. David llhey. OHarro. ' "1 M Ciiire, Jacob Horner ..(..- Tmtxurer. (Jeore C. K. Zalnn. '-r II .x.' Si. icird. .Tames J. Kaylor. '' '' Aiinihrr. Thomas M'Connell. ,! ' 11 enrv Hawk, Jolm F. Stull. E. in-finr. E. A. Vickrov. - .lames S. To. hi. (') of Common Schools. T. A. I;5KSI5l S1CJ IJOEi. OFFM.'UIIS. .. '' the. Knikea. Peace. David H. Roberts, ,r,J"n. A 11 .Ircw Lewis. '"'i :,. n William Kittell, William K. . '"harles Owens, J. C. Noon, Edwurd ""ia.k-r. . ') C'iunrit. T. D. Litzinprcr. ""'' "7 A TenHfr. (leorge Curlev. .... ..1 r. uniiani Davis. Iu;-tir. Edward (Slass, William . .t. f.. s. Llov.l, John J. Lloyd, Morris- t.v.irn Tl . ,- .1 ..... ,r". Thomai j". Davis. 7u, 'txur?r i.f e..;., .....,; Vi-on Mnrnron OeorKe Gurley - -"ire, or. lieorge Our ""'" Richard T. Davi """':' FUrtion.Unae E, '"f"or...j(Jiia sj. lihey, urley. 13. 1. nils. John J Evans. EBENSBURG, PA., THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 8, J800. From the Home Jouknal. liissing. 'The picnic's all behiad us, Kate; 'Twill take them loii to find us, Kate; There's a world of Miss in a harmless kiss, And no one near to mind us, Kate.'' Her face took a ruddier hue, A hasty backward glance she threw ; She did not seak. hut on her cheek The crimson tint still richer grew. Then mute she s;ood, with downcast eyes, As f as nyninli in maiden guise; Just then some ill-disposed young devil My l'ps possessed by some surprise! And stole a kiss before I could Prevent the f-auce-box, if I would: "Why, Harry Ulake. how could you take Such liberties here in this wood? It's quite too bad! besides, how queer ! That we're alone t r ther here! Come, u. j;;.)--; ';Jit well you know, I'd rather have the others near.'' A glance jle:u':e 1 from her bonny eye. Thai tempered well the cute reply! With cntle haste about her v.aiit yiy arm crept eagerly but sl.y. 'I'on't, F.arry. dear!'' twas soft and clear, Hut how it thrilled my heart to hear "Ah, ia:;y. don't!'' -No. Kate, I won't!"' AT-. ! but yet I did. I fe:r ! ;er hands. I ki-sed her brow, ! her dewy inoitih. and now I kis.e.l ! I kiss.-. With .!, ihe :. for this.'" at kiss lor kiss, d wi h usiirv, I trow. Then :'A h r form was love possessed. And to my heart she fondly pressed, With bbi-hi:';-; face and free embrace .She claped me to her heawn breast. "The picnic i.-- behind us. Kate. It took them lou t find us. Kae: We proved what bliss niijrht grow from a kiss. And in. one was there to mind us, Kate!"' Tolaacco. rKifMs eh . .in. ',', 7( .V;, f.f TlIK Al.t.KCHAMAV. lucli his been said and will ten con cerning the injurious and debasing use of spirituous liquors, and no doubt with sal utary results; hut Tobacco using, a custom if hot so pernicious to the human economy, is ful'y as disgu-tiug an j iilthy. Tobacco is r n-timed as though it were a necessary human luxury, and but few persons are found raising their banner aud voices counter to the demon, found iu the pock- ets of the majority of men. Tobacco using as a means of inebriation, : as is gem lai'y admitted, originated in the ! United S;;.tt s, from whence it was intru- ' d-u ed into i-'pnin, thence to ranee by j Nicot, and into hngland by Sir Walter Kaleigii. It is very probable, however, ; that tin? medicinal properties ot the plant j were, to seine extent, known in Asia, tho' i 1 1 1:1.1... ; not cons timed as a luxury uuui me .unci- lean Aborigines made the uniortunate uis- ; origincs made the unfortunate uis- cjverv, which the Yankees, at a subsequent datecultivated very extensively, with a j i 1 . . . . 1 - . .i .. . . i' 4 1 . View DO UOllIU lO IOC Cllioiunieui. cii 1111; traf.ic that they ssgaciou.-ly foresaw. It has been more ingeniously than correctly maintained by the friends of Tobacco, that it w;is intended by the fJovernor of the . 1 C 1 . . . lvrt 1... I Utll Ve'.-e as ail article Ol luxury iu uie uu- man bijed, from the supposed fact that; cm r-iii-cs :i 1 vva V" S follow the dictates of nature, The ve rity of this reason must be regard- ed as known only to the gods, or at best a futile argument; inasmuch as we have no rounds'" to doubt that . savages were, as civilized nations have more recently been, a lon,r time in contracting its luxurious use. That there is no appetency, but an quired disposition to its te, is shown by the tardy progress it makes in civilized i to f orbear this hlthy novelty, so Daseiuuy ; ironi their ascertained distance must, nave nations when first introduced. To main- j grounded, so foolishly received, and so ; been as large as our sun, have totally dis tain that savages follow the dictates of ' grossly mistaken in the right use thereof. 1 appeared from the sky, and the question i,..nrn is; r-i mi valent to holdin'T that civil ,,!on rmolit to live bv hunting and plundering. This question must, however, be settledliv comparing its beneficial and hurtful qualities; for nature never dictates the use of articles pernicious to the human , J.. v,.,-v row v.fn. we. think, will deny the preponderance of the deleterious effects of Tobacco, as a luxury; for sad uk- perience, the best of teachers, has taught : to discreait 11 10 some uegree, it n them otherwise. Tobacco is composed of feared that there is too much truth m the an alkaloid called nicotiu, and an acrid oil mortifying assertion : "It is in startling named nicotianin-supposed by some to , contrast with our ordinary train of thought be "the juice of the cuxscd Ilebenon," a 1 about the United States, to have it even poisonous agent referred to in Hamlet. i whispered as a possibility that the race of These two constituents are intense poisons, men which inhabit the country is under cspecially the former, which is only sur- going a process of physical aud moral de passed in potency by the most concentra- generation that a premature senility is ted preparations of prussic acid, a drop of , the true characteristic ot the great Aiiglo- ..i.. :t. ,.r i,,..r, cffliont t. destmv 1 Celtic Kepubhc ot the est. Which a fcUlUUCMl Jl 41, MtlUj, o"'- J the life of a dog. The physiological effects of an overdose of Tobacco are as frightful as striking. It , purging, universal Induce ou..m.g trembling, stajrgevinjr, eouvulsions, and j debilitation succeeding its first use are stupor. Of the two habits, smoking aud i positive proofs of its un naturalness and chewing, it is difficult to determine the . injurious effects. It is only with the ut most detrimental, though I am aware the most difficulty and perseverance, incited friends ot Pipe and Cigar plead the com- by a presumed manliness connected with parative innoxiousness of smoking; be- its use, that to the majority of beginners cause, as they say, the alkaloid is not vol- . it becomes tolerable. J'arenls should be atile. and the oil, partially decomposed by ! very watchful to prevent their children the lire, and consequently inert. The first j from using the unpropitious drug. If an of these arguments must be admitted as ; enactment were passed rendering chewing, true, but the second is uot; for recent ex- j smoking, etc., obligatory, how parents periments have evinced sn actual augmen- would decry, snarl and protest against a tation 01 tins pernicious oil tlurinjr tne an- .. . . 1 1-:. plication ot heat. hat hoiicr etienn cheat. hat honer fcuempiiu- . I". 11 I I I I i S TMIISllMIIII.S flll.ll.lll . ( 1 1 1 1 1 1 I. " -i. i- -- - , - want than seeing a person chew the hist quia, or smoKe the urst cigar, jneautiior distinctly remembers his first sorrowful 1 1 1 1 . . - . - . K experience, anu wouia loaiue to see anoLii- j i-i Muni fuia a lunauj iui an .ijiaicmy 'I1,,'.-. 1... 1 1. . ..'I. 1 M , t 1 IT 1. j. cf ciiiu ji.vru I. iiiiiiiuuimiji 1 smoked aoout. tlnrtv-two cigars in Hume- , ! djate succession, d'.ed i apojilexy. J Ins , I i cuimtanee was veil authenticated, but ! cannot be referred to, for the reason that j e . -'"J"'1"-" uiuti iiiviJt UlC HlTl Vila ? UU" X tALialWdllUU L 111 11 1 IJvA u. i. tT J y llll Y ..'HI. j once took a notion he would smoke for the raiigement of the digestive apparatus and Parker's attention, who inquired of the In I purpose of trying a "handsome pipe'' pre- disturbed sleep. I might here state, that dian l uao jui-ui.uii ure nuiiiui. -.a loieoo j kkj mm. f 1 Jivii .iciv uu .-viiiv, I A I iii r ii i v uTUi'Oiloi In ilrnwih'f ?i nmnllii'iil of the ambrosial fume, he said, "take that : away from mc what abomination! Oh, the swine! my stomach turns !" lie was ; harassed for some time after the disgusting pull", and ever alter 'renounced the pleas ure of a habit, tit only to amuse s.uggards. A great portion of our Anierieau stu- dents destroy their physical and moral powers by the excessive use of Tobacco renueriiig themselves unut ro pursue their studies, and frequently leadintr them to indulge m alcoholic beverages, to soothe into tranquility their fevered and poisoned brains. 1 he degencrat ion ol t?pa i n is, by European writers, attributed greatly to the exec.-sive use of Tobacco. Ue this as lt may, it is certain that a rpaniara is rare- ly seen without a cigar or quid in his mouth. The pupils in the Polytechnic School at Paris have recently furnished some cu rious statistics, bearing on the Tobacco controversy. dividing the young gentle- men I tue co. lege into two groups 1 smokers and non-smokers it proven that the smokers have snowu Inemseives el in the vario s competitive ex iiiinauous. far the inferior to the others. Not only in examinations on entering the school are the smoker in a lower rank, but in the various ordeals that they have to puss irrougu in a year, me average ranus oi the smokers had constantly fallen, and not inconsiderably; while the men who did not smoke enjoyed a cerebral atmos- phere of the clearest kiud. Yale Dublin Med. Press. , Sleeping in an apartment where lobac- t-o had been spread to dry has resulted in the death ot a child by the most fnghtlul convulsions. Hut to commence citing easts in which Tobacco has resulted emi- .1 1 ...1 11 neniiy pernicious, anu e en mini, numu require require more space than we can allot to the whole subject it is the candid conviction of many em inent men, and I have no reason to differ, that on account of its wide range and al most universal use, Tobacco is more inju rious to us as a nation than alcoholic bev- erages. IJcing used moderately, it "pn 1... .A' ..nt. r... 1 1 1 . n-iw r.i" Prtnift' uuccsii tun; 01 -voviai mi.uui vi which 110 doubt is a considerable barrier to the healthful progress of American lit ; crature. But used more freely, it produces , mental disorder, analagons to delirium , trrnvns, (vulgarly termed "mau with the ' poker.") I am disposed to quote a few of the last you not reason, then, to be asuaiued, and ' A custom loathsome to the eyes, nateiui I to the nose, harmful to the brain, and dangerous to the lungs, and in the black ! stinking fumes thereof nearest resembling ! the horrible Stygian smoke of the pit that i is bottomless." There are a few lines in 1 another foreign publication that probably deserve a place here; although love for my . country (possibly "blind love ) impels me j I ., . . ,1 . the able author aurumtes pnucipauy i the exorbitant use of Tobacco. Indeed, the difficulty with which persons learn its j use the nausea, headache, vertigo, and lines of "King James Counterblast to than have been seen lor many years ; some ! settlers in the neighborhood ol Peoria who t am t ne man that was to be whipped : I Tobacco, which will be interesting on ot these are visible through a smoked fitill point out the spot where old J arker, its tne otner one. Aow you 11 have to ac-1 account of its antiquity. He says : "Have glass to the naked eye. Several stars, the squatter, lived. Sketches of Front ur 1 g it all over again ! lleally, its too good ! i J- ijocrr naoit, or rather an enJorcenient. so hlthv 1 .... . ' . , '. ami ruinous to the health and wellare of jl"lll t Lill'l 1 I'll 1 II 1 l'l I . It is distressing to see, in this rvrourcs- sue age oi loung America, nearly every little chap parading the street with a ci- . -i n t ' .i -l iii gar in one siue ot ins mout h, and probably u ium m ihu uuiui. i iic uuiiior lianniy fosses the sin of haviug indulged I'roely the detestable habit for a period of in ut-iesiauiu uaoti. ior a poiiou oi about six years, auu knows well the calm- nig and .soothing effect it imparts for a time; but a train of constitutional defects was not long manifesting itself such as mi nan men 1 01 uie nervous system, ue- iiivj UUUJU1 iia UUL USl'U 11 US U 1UA.U' lUf tim-j r,T,l 1, U 1-f,. 1 - : '. , Providence for the power of foregoing it. Dr. Kirkbride, physician in the insane department of the Pennsylvania Hospital, reports four cases of insanity which, he ascribes to the use of Tobacco, and con- t inues thus : '-The use of Tebacco has, in many individuals, a most striking effect on the nervous system ; and its general use in the community is producthe of more serious effects than is commonly supposed.' C hewers of Tobacco take not only the inherent poison of the plant, but thev rot an article diabolieall v adulterated with 1 1 m.: copperas, salts of various kiuds, and even s:u,d is put in it, with a view no doubt of increasing itsj weight germs of premature decay, winch, the abuse of Tobacco is spreading through the country will ultimately, in my opinion, prove more overwhelming than even the serious abuse of intoxicating liquors." . . St'Ar.TUMi J)ici)VKHY. During the itting of a court iu Connecticut not long ago, on a very cold evening, a crowd of lawyers had collected around the open nre mat blazed cheerlullv on the hearth in the bar-room, when a traveler entered benumbed with cold ; but no one moved to give him room to warm his shins, so he leaned against the wall iu the back part of the room. Presently a smart young limb of the aw addressed him, and the following dia- logue took place "You look like a traveler." "Wall, I suppose 1 am : 1 come all the . ii. .. . . .. way ironi lsconsin aloot at any rate. "1 10111 iscousin ! Vhat a dist listaiice to come on a pair of legs!" "Wall, I done it anyhow." "Did vou ever pass through h 1 in any of your travels?" "Yes, sir ; I've been through the out skirts." "I thought likcl Well, what are the manners and customs there ? Some of us would like to know." '11 fin,l Jn this place the lawyers sit nearest the f re !" -- ; Is the Sun (iitowixo Cold and Dark. , There are now more spots on the sun some ot them ot great brilliancy, which has been raised among astronomers wheth er the light and heat of the sun are grad ually lading away. As this would be ac companied by the destruction of all the animals and plants on the face of the earth it is rather an interesting question. The sun's light and heat is diminished by dark spots 011 its surface at the present time about 1 per cent. Scientific Ameri can. trm A bevy of children were telling their father what they had got at school. The eldest got readiag, spelling and defi nition. "And what do you get, little one?" said the father to a rosy cheeked little fellow, who was at tho time slyly driving a ten penny nail into the door panel. "Me '! Oh, I gits reading, spelling aud spanking." Fs.To cure the toothache nib us run over your foot. -let an om- in the language ot an eminent physi- took the line, and the daughter the axe ; j indignantly repudiating the contract cian, J-T. o. j 'oriiiio, i ciose, auu suoimt anct tnus ai uieu mey ueieinnueu 10 waten i ou t y ou go away, now, riusan . . 1 .T II ,1 1" .1 1 .1 1.1 -l.. -1l. l.l l !l "1., . . - ' in gooi lauu inese lines to the perusal through tne nigut, anu ueienu inemseives ; tui : said the newly-married man s and cousiderai ion of the public: 'The if necessary, i hey had not long to wait. uz his voice. A ISeroic Woman, On the 111 inois rivt.-v, two hundred miles from its juuetion with the Mississippi. there lived, in lb l 'J, an old pioneer known u inose uaJS as na i ar,er the uat- , , '"r"11; Ul . Vv a,,u ; three children, the oldest a boy ot nineteen, ! a girl of seventeen, and the youngest a ; boy of fourteen. At the time of which ' we write, 1 arker and his oldest boy had , gone in company with three Indians ou a 1 hunt, expecting to be absent some nve or 1 'j . . . . . six days. 1 he third day alter their depar- ( . .-. . .. ... 1 111''- 11 H II T . I Tlf I ilJ ll'Tlirh Of I I II I ''A 1 I. - I , ; era house, came in, aud seated himself by the lire, lit his pipe, and commenced smo io- ! king iu silence. .Mrs. Parker thought j i. i - . nothing or tins, as it was no uncommon en "ty ' iiiiuioi uuc ui some ui nies m 01 e oi a pa i l ' of Indians to run abruptly from a hunt, at some sign they might consider ominous of! some Mgu inej miguL consiuer omiuuus ui . bad lucic, and. m such instances, were not ; very communicative. But at last the In- ; dian broke silence with j "b-ghj ld Parker die' j x ins exclamation lnimeataieivarew urs. 1 licit S ill ill LL T 1 1 11 -l UI h.Cl . Tl. r.K.... . . .1 "Parker sick; tree fell on him; you go J he die." j The replies of the Indian somewhat . aroused her suspicions. She, however, : aroused her suspicions came to the conclusion to sen with the Indian to see what was the mat- ; ter. The boy and Indian started. That ' night passed, and the next day too. and neither the boy nor the Indian returned, This confirmed -Mrs. Parker in her opinion that theic was foul play on the part of the Indians. So she and her daughter went to work, and barricaded the door and the 1 l J "I'iU J wm llli windows in the best wav thev ronld. Thu youngest boy's rifle was the only one left, he not having taken it with him when he went to hunt his father. The old lady , About nigh (fall, or shortly after that, soun one commenced knocking at the door, cry ing out "Mother ! mother !" But Mrs. Parker thought the voice was not exactly like that ot her son; andju order to ascertain the fact, she asked him where the I ndiaus were. The reply, which i iiiv- jU...;..a was, "unigone, satisueu nor on mat nuiii. Shs then said, as if speaking to her son "Put your ear to the laich-hole of the uoor I want to ten 3 ou souieunng ue.oie you open the door. The head was placed at the keyhole, and the old lady fired through the spot and killed the Indian. She stepped back from the door instantly, and it was well she did so, for quickly two rifle bullets through the window. A came crasaim death-like silence ensued for about five minutes, when two more balls, iu quick . ' , . 1 ,,1 t succession, were h red through tne uoor ; theu followed a tremendous puuehing with j a lo. the door gave way, an Indian was ' . .. . . about to spring 11:, when the unerring 11- : man lately received twenty lashes well fie, lired by the old lady, stretched his ; laid on at the whipping post in Kn body across the threshold of the door. ; gland. The culprit, instead of bellowing The remaining, or more properly, survi- when the constable applied the lash, laugh v'ui" Indian tired at random, and ran, do- ed immoderately, which made the angry in" no injury. The mother and daughter, ollicer lay on with harder force. Ou giv with the rifle and axe, then went to the ing him his twentieth blow, the angry oifi viver, took the cauoe, and in six days ar- . cer could stand it no longer, rived amoiur the old French settlers in St. : "Well, look here, mister," said the Louis. A party of about a dozen men i crossed over into Illinois', and, after an i unusual search, returned without finding either Parker or the boys. They were never found. There are yet some of the . wy Jt25 A fair denizen of fashiouablc Paris whose extravagance bore rather hard on her husband's purse, was one day taken to task by him for want of ecouoniy. "1 know what you say is true," replied the repentant belle, "but what shall I do to reduce our expenses i"' "Why, ma chere," replied the husband, delighted with her submission, "you ride a great deal why not take an omnibus occasionally instead of a carriage 'i That will save something, surely." The wife agreed, and as soon as her husband was gone, she rang for her maid. "Marietta, call me a coach, that I may get to the omnibus to go the Madalaine. I must economize." -2? Jones aud lrown met at the Post Office. Jones complained of a bad smell about the office, and asked Urown what it can be. Drown doesn't know unless it may be the large number ol dead letters ! Fneasy is the head that w ears a wig in a gale of wind. - - , i lou must licK the other man . 11a, NUMBER 12. llocGii Ukuinmng of tiik IIoxev v.tivs. On last Friday uioniiur, an ath leticyoun fanner, in the town of Wavnes hunr, took a i'nir uirl, "all bathed in hlush- froui lier parents, and started for the hrst town across the Pennsylvania line to hc arne.i, where the ceremonv could l,e performed without a license. The happy j,air Wc.ro aceompanie.l by a sister of the .irla talJ auilt sliarifeatureJ femalc of some thirty-seven summers The pair crossed the line, were married ami rpt ,r o.l t,. W'iiotii . i . " - " iu Msa me iijiriir. Peo- ue at th hotl u-l,,.. tt. 1: . . ..-. . 1 . .1 1 .1 . .1 ..4.. 1 1 1 .1 i 1 - 1 cioppuu ou.-eieu tnaL tney ihennelve in n rntb conducted manner. The liuslianrl wrmbl tnl- 1.; :.. 1 the tall female aforesaid into o-ip r-lr ' ut the parlor and talk earnestly to hei tresticulatiner wildlv thr vchU '"rtm .t. ot the parlor and talk etrntlv to 1 'j;esticulatinw wildlv the while 'P.n a - tall female would "put her foot down and talk to him iu an anry and excite aim talk to him iu an anry and excited manner Tlion 1.0 b,b.....i ,...i i his fair young bride into a corner but he would no sooner commence talking to her than the gaunt sister, would rush in be- twern t ipm nmi anw :,. n versa! ion. The people at the hotel ascer tained what this ,ii.-iii,- w o clock that evening. There was an un- j roar iii the room which had been assign- cd to the newly-married couple. Fen shrieks and maseuliue "swears" star the people at the hotel, and they "rus to the spot. The "aunt female r, male tartled they rushed , however, to the spot. The gaunt female was pres nd her son sing and kicking against the door of the room, and newly married man, mostly uu- dressed, was barring her out 'with all his might. Occasionally she would kick the door far enough open to disclose the stal- wart husband iu his gentleman fJreek Slave apparel. It anneared that the t ill fVTv.n1 ted unon oociinvinn- tho c i. tlu v,Mvlv.m.,l,l,.,l nr .l,.,f l,.. favorably disposed to the arran"-emeut and that the husband had agreed to it be fore the wedding took place, aud was now peace- otteu- "Xo," said she, "I won't so there." ; "Don't you budge an inch !" cried the j married sister within the room. ! "Now, now, Maria," said the young man to his wife, in a piteous tone, "don't ! go to cutting up in this way ; now don't !" "I'll cut up's much's I wanter !" she sharply replied. "Well," roared the desperate manthrow- i ing the door wide open, and stalking out among tne crowd, "well just you two wiuimin put on your duds and go right home, and bring back the old man aud woman, and your grandfather who is nigh on to a hundred ; bring em all here, ami I'll marry the icho'r d ralooille of 'an, and ice U all sleep toy ther J" The difficulty was fiually adjusted by the tall female taking a room alone. ! Wellsville is eniovincr itself over the son . . . , ,n . , 1 sation. (JUaUtnd rlaoulcaler A Ikai. IiEI.isher of a Jokk. A i.i -i. .1, i offended officer, "I've done my duty, and : I can lick ye no move, but I'd like to 1 know- what is it that's so funny :'' j "Funny !" roared the other ; "why it's excellent. ou've got the wrong Smith! A wag lately took a drunken fel low, placed him in a cofliu, with the lid so that he could raise it, placed it iu a graveyard, aud waited to see the effect. After a short time, the fumes of the liquor left him, and his position being rather confined, ho sat up, and after looking around, he exclaimed : "Well, I'm the first that's riz, or I'm 01 fully belated." Some of the mst learned and dis tinguished men in Spain have united in a society for the purpose of forming a uni versal language, to bespoken by all tribes of the earth, in the place of the present varying dialects. Labor lost an organ-grinder play ing at the door of a deaf and duuib asy lum. fif An acute angle any angle that enables you to cross a &ireet so a- not to. run against a dun. , g3 Subscribe for The AutRiuvi!i, I hal i 1 - a d d )- a it j. - P ; j, i- f 'W f in !- : ea 7-v- i i2. if - r 1 1 v th 1 f J ou the s 9 I i t f... t ;