u
n
I 'i ?
f . rnnil IIVTCIIIXSOV. Tnil I tilmr
I WOULD RATIIER BE RIGHT THAN PRESIDENT. Henry Clay.
trrv S2.00 PER ASXl'M.
TKKMS$1.50 IX ADVAti:.
4S.l! D D TO w w w v w Illy $
t
VOL. 1.
DIRECTORY.
mSPAttKD EXPRESSLY POR "THE ALLEGH ANI AN.'
L.IST
OF POST OFFICES.
rott Offices.
Jcnn'a Creek,
Bethel Station,
C.irrolltown,
Chess Springs,
Cresson,
Ebensburg.
Fallen Timber,
GaUiUin,
Cilen Connell,
Hemlock,
Johnstown,
Loretto,
Miaentl Point,
Minister,
I'crahing,
Plattiville,
Roselaad,
St. Augustine,
Sv-alp Level,
Son man,
Sammcrhiil,
3ammit,
"tVilmore,
Post Matters. districts.
Joseph Graham, Yoder.
Joseph S Mardis, Blacklick.
Benjamin Wirtner, Carroll.
Danl. Litzinger, Chest.
John J. Troxell, Washinfn.
Mrs. II. M'Cague, Ebensburg.
Isaac inompson, White.
J. M. Christy.
Gallitzin.
Joseph Gill,
Wm. M'Gough,
H. A. Boggs,
Wm. Gwinn,
E. Wis singer,
A. Durbin,
Francis Clement,
Andrew J. Ferra!
G. W. Bowman,
Joseph Mover,
George ConraJ,
B. M Colgan,
Wm. Murray,
Miss M. Gillespie
Andrew Beck,
Chest.
Washt'n.
Johnst'wn.
Loretto.
Conem'gh.
Munster.
Conem'gh.
Susqhan.
White.
Clearfield.
Richland.
Washt'u.
Croyle.
Washt'n.
S'mmerhill.
CHURCHES, MINISTERS, &.C.
Presbyterian Rev. D. Harbison, Pastor.
Preaching every Sabbath morning at 10.$
'clock, and in the evening at 6 o'clock. Sab
bith School at 9 o'clock, A. M. Prayer meet
ing every Thursday evening at 6 o'clock.
Mthodist Episcopal Church Rev. J. Seane,
Prv;wher iu charee. Rev J. M. Smith, As-
:3U:it. Preaching every Sabbath, alternately
: I'J1. o'clock in the morning, or 7 in the
r-i:iiig. Sabbath School at 'J o'clock, A. M.
i'r.iv: , meeting every Thursday evening at 7
0 clu. k.
ttL- Independent Rev. Ll. R. Powell,
Pj?tor. Preaching every Sabbath morning at
10 o'clock, and iu the evening at b o clock
Jii)b:ith School at 1 o'clock, P. M. Prayer
Deetiu ' on the first Monday evening of each
month ; and on every Tuesday, Thursday
ad Friday evening, excentiug the first week
ra i-h month.
Cahinisiic Methoditt Rev. Johs Williams,
Paitor. Preaching every Sabbath evening at
1 and 6 o'clock. Sabbath School at 10 o'clock,
A.M. Prayer meeting every r nday evening
t 7 o'clock. Society every Tuesday evening
At i o dork.
D.tripUt Rkv.Wm. Lloyd, Pastor Preach
ing every Sabbath morniug at 10 o clock.
I'.ir'.inilur Baptists Rev. David Jexkixs,
Pitor. Preachine every Sabbath evening at
uYlork. Sabbath School at 1 o'clock, P. M
CatKoltc Uev. M. J. Mitchell, Pastor
Services every Sabbath morning at 10$ o'clock
aal espers at 4 o clock in the evening.
EiiExsni Rc; m ails.
MAILS ARRIVE.
3i'ni. daily, at 11 o'clock, A. M
Hwteni, " at 10 J " P. M.
MAILS CLOSE.
Eastern, daily, at 4j o'clock P. M.
Wesu-rn, ""at 6 " A. M.
The Mails from Butler.Indiana.Strongs
lown, tc, arrive on Tuesday and Friday of
rich week, at 5 o'clock, P. M.
I.cavo Ebensburg on Mondays and Thurs
days, at 7 o'clock, A. M.
BfS, The Mails from Newman's Mills, Car
rulltowu, ice, arrive on Monday and Friday of
rich week, at 3 o'clock, P. M,,
Leave Ebensburg on Tuesdays and Satur
days, at 7 o'clock. A. M.
JF3.Post Ollice open on Sundays from 9
to lu o'clock, A. M.
RAILROAD SCHEDULE.
WILMORE STATION.
t Express Train, leaves at
Mail Train, "
8.55 A. M.
8.07 P. M.
7.18 P. M
12.12 P. M.
0.08 A. M.
Hast Express Train,
' Fast Line,
" Mail Train,
it
it
COUNTY OFFICERS.
Jvljts of the Courts. President, Hon. Geo.
Taylor, Huntingdon ; Associates, GcorgeW.
Inky, Richard Jones, Jr.
Prothonotary. Joseph M'Donald.
L'terk to Prothonotary. Robert A. M'Coy.
R'yiiter and Recorder. Michael Hassor..
Dfputy Register and Recorder. John Scan
Iu. Sheriff. Robert P. Linton.
D'pnty Sheriff. George C. K. Zahm.
District Attorney. Philip S. Noou.
County Commissioners. -John Bearer, Abel
Lloyd, David T. Storm.
Clerk to Commissioners. George C. K. Zahm.
Counsel to Commissioners. John S. Uhey.
Treunurcr Inhn A. lilair.
'our House Directors. David O'Harro,
Michael M'Guire, Jacob Horner.
i Poor House Treasurer. George C. K. Zahm
Poor House Steicard. James J. Kaylor.
il'rmutilc Appraiser. Thomas M'Connell.
Auditors. Henrv Hawk, John F. Srull. E
F. Lytle.
County Surveyor. E. A. Vickroy.
Coroner. James S. Todd.
Superintendent of Common Schools. T. A.
Mag ii ire.
ERF.XSIIL'RG IBOR. OFFICERS
Justices of the 1'tace. David II. Roberts,
""rison Kinkead.
P'urjets. Andrew Lewis.
Town Council. William Kittell, William K
r'P!r, Charles Owens. J. C. Noon, Edward
Shoemaker.
CUrk to Council. T. D. Litzinger.
Rorouyh Treasurer. George Gurley.
Weigh Master. William Davis.
School Directors. Edward Glass, William
bum, Reese S. Llovd. John J. Lloyd, Morris
J- Evans, Thomas J. Davis.
treasurer of School Hoard Evan .Morgan.
Constable. George Gurley.
T-ir Collector. Georere Gurley.
-l'"or. RUhard T. Davis."
I'i'ljt nf h'leetion. Isaac Evnns.
Ode to Spring
Written in a Lawyer' Office.
Whereas on sundry bough3 and sprays
No diverse birds are heard to sing ;
And sundry flowers their heads upraise
Hail to the coming on of Spring!
The song of the said birds arouse
The memory of our youthful hours,
As young and green as the said boughs,
As fresh and fair as the said flowers.
The birds aforesaid, happy pairs!
Love midst the aforesaid boughs enshrines
In household nests, themselves, their heirs,
Administrators, and assigns.
O busiest term of Cupid's court!
When tender plaintiffs actions bring:
Season of frolic and of sport,
Hail, as aforesaid, coming Spring.
HOW A WIFE WAS CHOSEN.
"Godfrey, old boy," said Henry Clayton,
as he tilted his chair back, and put his
feet upon the mantelpiece, "when is the
wedding to be :
"Whose wedding ?"
"Miss Laura Sobers, or Jennv, whicl
is it?"
"I don't know, I'm sure."
"Now don't be mysterious, Godfrey; you
know you arc a most constant visitor, and
all our set are talking about the match.
Don't pretend you have not selected one of
the sisters
"J low do you know that either of them
will have me.
"Jon't be absurd, old boy. You, young,
handsome, talented, and with a large for
tune, need not be over bashful. Come be
frank, which is the favored sister?"
"Well, frankly then, Heury, I cannot
tell you. I have visited the family for
several months, as you know, but I cannot
decide. Laura is certainly the handsomest
with her black flashing eyes and queenly
manner; but Jenny seems, although the
vounjrest, to be the most womanly and use
ful of the two. Yet, I cannot be sure of
that. Mv entrance is the signal for cor
dial welcome and smiles, and let me cal
at what hour I will, they are always wel
lrssod. and annarentlv disencaced. To
be sure I always, in the morning, have to
wait some time before Laura is visible."
7 AX W J .
"Pop in unexpectedly and notice the
internal economy."
"How can It A card at the door will
. m ,1
rut any Iadv on her niard, or even tne
notice of a gentleman visitor."
"Go there in disguise. As a washwoman,
for instance.
"Good! I will."
"Go there as a, washwoman?" cried
Clayton.
"Not exactly, but 1 will obtain aumit-
tance to a morning s privacy.
"Well, let me know the result.
Laura and Jenny Somers were the only
children of a widower, who, although in
moderate circumstances, moved in very
fashionable society. At the period of my
short sketch, he was about to supply the
lamented Mrs. Somers' place, alter nearly
ten vears n:ourninr, and, although a kind
and indulgent father, had no objection to
his danirhter's marriasre, and, indeed he
had told them so. Laura, whose high spirit
resented the probab'.e supremacy of a step
mother, had already selected uouirey
Horton as her future husband, aud Jenny,
who was younger and gentler in spirit,
tried to conquer a carefully concealed pref
erence for the same person. All his atten
tions were ascribed, by her, to brotherly
regard, though every, act of kindness or
pourtcsv touched her very heart.
It was the morning after a large ball,
aud the sisters were in the breakfast room
fro-..tlir T.:uir.i her trlossv black hair
rmshed neirliirentlv off her lace, with the
rough, tumbled braids of last evening's
elaborate coiffure gathered loosely into a
rnmb: wearincr a soiled wrapper, torn
stockings, and presenting rather an alarm
ing contrast to the brilliant ball-room belle,
was louuging on a sofa. J enny, in a neat
morning dress, with a large gingham apron,
litMo white collar, and nair sraootuiy
brushed into a neat knot, was washing the
1.rMikf:tst dishes
"There is an old man at the door with
some artificial flowers," said the servant,
oneuinir the dining-room door, "will you
see him?"
"No," said Jenny. f
"Yes," cried Laura, "send him up.'
Tn a f.-w moments the old man came in
He was poorly chid, with a coarse blue
cloak, which was much too large for him.
T have a bunch ot blue Dowers uere,
he said, taking them from the basket,
"that will just suit your golden hair, Miss,
.1 111 a! 1 T "
anu nc Jieiu mem uuac uctmji.
"t. 1.,. lonl-
, rw t; .i i- ; . .:,:!;.
EBENSBURG, PA., THURSDAY, MAY 81,
"Yes, bring them here," was Laura's
imperious command.
lhe old man s eyes followed Jenny as
she washed, wiped and put away the dish
es, swept the room, and dusted it, and
then sat down beside Laura, who was still
looking over the basket.
"See, Jenny, this scarlet bunch. Will
it not be lovely with a few dark leaves to
wear with my new silk V
"iiut, whispered Jenny, "you can t
afford it just now."
"les I can. rather gave me some
money yesterday."
"lo pay the last dry goods bill.
"Well I can have that carried to my
private account."
"Oh ! Laura, I hate to hear you talk of
that private account. It seems so much
like cheating father."
-"Nonsense ! It will stand till I am
married and then I can easily save it out
of my housekeeping money."
"I should not like to marry in debt,"
said Jenuy.
The old pedlar looked earnestly at the
sisters.
"You had better take this blue bunch,
Miss," he said to Jenny. "If it ain't
convenient to pay for it now, I will call
"No, I shall not take them."
"They are very becoming, mixing with
the jrlossy irolden hair and setting off Jen
ny's dazzling complexiou."
"I wish my hair was light," said Lau
ra. "I should like to wear blue. Godfrey
Horton said last night, that forget-me-nots
were his favorite flowers.
Jenny colored, and placing the bunch
again in the basket, said :
"Come, Laura, decide. You are keep
ing one waiting whose time probably is
valuable," then passing a chair, she add
ed, "be seated, sir, you look tired.
"I am tired, indeed," was the reply.
"I will take this scarlet bunch, and
these red camelias and this white cluster,"
said Laura.
"But, sister, you cannot afford it."
"Yes I can. Godfrey Horton is rich."
The old man bit his lip.
"Think," said Jenny, in a low tone, "if
3'ou love him, how much it will grieve
lii Tit if he should discover it."
"Nonsense! Well, I'll tell you how to
remedy it. Lend me some money not of
tne house-Keeping iuuus.
feo, thought the old man, she is house
keeper. Miss Laura gave me to under
stand that was her post."
"Jjaura I bteal from my father ! '
"Then don't preach."
"Miss Jenny, said a s'ervant entering
at that moment, "the dinner has come.'
Jenuy left the room, and Laura stil
turned over the gay flowers, while the old
man pointed out their various beauties
his cTe in the meantime running over the
disordered hair, shabby dress, and lazy
position, whilst he mentally contrasted
them with Jenny s neat attire.
"Not decided yet t said Jenny, return
ing alter a snort absence.
4No, come here."
"I
can t ! lather has sent home a calf
head, and I am afraid to trust it entirely
to Margaret. I must superintend the
dinner, make a pudding, and the parlor
must bo dusted, and there is mv white
mulle to be finished."
"Before I would be the drudge
are !" cried Laura.
3'ou
"Drudge ! T have plenty of time left for
conjyment, and father cannot have a
comfortable house, if some one does not
superintend these things. When I mar
ry you may do it," and she laughed mer
rily. "As if I should not marry first !" said
Laura. "There, I have chosen all I
want."
"Shall I call for the change ?" said the
pedlar. "I shall be happy to put the
Mis3 Somers on my list of customers."
"Yes, call again."
So the pedlar stood up his basket,
walked home, threw aside his wig, beard,
and disguise, and wrote an offer of his
hand and heart to Miss Virginia Somers,
which was accepted.
Laura Somers has two sources of pro
found speculation : One is, "Why did
Godfrey Horton propose to Jenny instead
of me ?" The other, "I wonder why
that old man never called to be paid for
those exquisite flowers ?"
553. At a meeting of riflemen one of the
speakers told a story ot an onicer ot a
city corps, who, when marching his men
through the streets, forgot the word in
command, and cried out, "Right shoul
ders forward," when he should have said,
"left." When he found his men turning
a contrary way to that intended, he shout
ed, "Right aoout face," but this only
making matters worse, he discarded mil
ltary pnrascoiogy, anu came uu.u t7
, 1 i j
1 tu "' j- d ?"
Telegraphic Anecdote.
Some ten 3'ears or more ago, there was
upon the New York and Washington tel-
raph line, at the Philadelphia station,
an operator named Thayer, who, besides
being an adept at the business, was a gen
tleman of culture and wit, and exceedingly
fond of a joke, no matter at whose expense.
At the New York terminus of the line
there was, upon the contrary, a steady,
matter-of-fact sort of man, who was noap-
preciatorot jokes and never practised them.
The President of the line was the Hon. 1$.
13. French, for manv vears Clerk of the
House ot Representatives at Washington,
a wit, poet and humorist, and ot course
appreciated humor wherever he came
across it.
Thayer took it into his head one day to
send a dispatch to some fictitious name in
iNew lork, lor the purpose 01 enjoying a
laugh at the expense of the operator at
New York. Accordingly he composed
and forwarded the following :
Philadelphia, April 1, 184G.
To Mr. Jones, New York : Send me ten
dollars at once, so that I can get my clothes.
(Signed) Julia.
13 words, collect 34 cents.
The operator at New York, no suspectt-
ing any joke, asked the Philadelphia op
erator fur the address.
The Philadelphia operator replied that
the young lady didn't leave any ; and
asked him to look in the directory for it.
lhe New lork operator replied that he
had already done so, but that as there
were over fifty Joneses in the directory,
he was at a loss to know which one to send
it to.
"If that is the case," says Thayer, "you
had better send a copy to each of them,
and charge 34 cents apiece."
The New York operator did so, and I
will give the result of the arrangement in
the words of the President, Mr. French,
from whom, a few days alter this affair,
Mr. Thayer received the following letter:
Nkw loitK, April 0, 1840
Mr. Thayek Sir : A few days since
you sent a despatch, purporting to come
from one Julia, addressed to Mr. Jones,
New York. The New York operator in
formed you that he desired an address, as
there were upwards of fifty Joues in the
directory, and he was at a loss to know
which one of them it was designed for.
You replied that in that case he must send
a copy to every one of them, and charge
upon each ; and the operator at New York,
in the innocence ot his heart, did so.
Some twenty of the Joneses paid for their
despatches, but there was one sent to the
residence of an elderly merchant by that
name, who being away from home when it
arrived, it was opened by his wife, and
was the occasion of a very unpleasant
domestic scene. Mr. Jones has been to
see me in relation to the matter, aud
threatens to sue the company for damages
taking the thing very much to heart.
Now all this is very funny, and a good
joke, and I have laughed at it as heartily
as anybody; but you had not better try it
again, or any of the rest of the operators
upon the line, if you value your situations.
Some ten years since there was a very
ludicrous, and at the same timo natural,
blunder perpetrated 011 the line between
this city and New York. A gentleman
sent a dispatch requesting parties iu New
1 ork to "forward sample forks by express.
hen the message wa? delivered it read
thus : "forward sample for K. S."
The parties who received it replied by
asking "what sample K. S. wanted."
Of course the gentleman came to the
ofBce and complained that the despatch
had been transmitted wrong, and the op
erator promised to repeat it. Accordingly
he telegraphed the New lork operator
that the despatch should have read : "for
ward sample forks." The New York op
erator having read it wrong in the first
instance, could not decipher it differcntly
now ; he replied that "he did read it, sam
ple for Iv. and so delivered it.
"Iiut," returned the Boston operator,
"I did uot say for Iv. S-, but f-o-r-k-s.'
"What a numbskull that lellow is in
Boston," exclaimed the New York opera
tor in a rage. "He says he didn't say for
K. S.. but for K. S."
The Boston operator tried for an hour
to make the New lork operator rcaa it
"forks," but not succeeding, he wrote the
despatch off upon a slip of paper aud for
warded it by mail, and it remained a
standing joke upon the line for many
months afterwards.
'Faith,' said an Irishman, who could
not get into his cabin at Ballingarry, his
wife having turned the key upon him,
"faith it s mcsclf that s regularly locked
in. "in, said nis compaion, -in wiieie;
"Why in the street."
t-Shut out all
evil imaginations, and
an;ry
thought;
1800.
Au I'ncasy Itocklng-CIialr.
The following intelligence of the rescue
of a slave woman from a master in Mis- being "genteel." We keep up appearances
souri, when he was just about selling her too oflen at the expense of honesty and'
An-n-r. I., 1Xr i. 1 il
uun " L.uuiia, 1a uuiu a i esicrn paper : j niougu we may not De ricn, yet we must
copy 01 a piaeara announcing tne auc- l seem to De so. e must be "respectable "
wvu oaic vi vuauei iuuuu 11s way mio 1
the hands ot a brave man m Lawrence, vulsar outward show. W Tin
Kansas, who immediately devised a plan
lor her deliverance. Harnessing a span !
1 1 A 1 . I
ui nurses 10 a covereu carnage, witn two uoq
or three trusty companions inside, he set
out at post-haste across the line of the
..1. c... i a. - 1 1
o'c owiLc iu iu xiiasier s uuuse. 1 me
It was only a bold stroke that could ac-
complish the purpose. He quietly enter- J a
ea the dwelling, unattended, and suddenly
opened me ooor or a room in wmcn ne
found the master sitting in a rockin'-r-
chair, and the slave-woman staudinir at a
taoie. ine rescuer, in a very gentlemanly
manner, cocked a pistol, and pointing it cy,
at the slave-master's head, exclaimed : I
Holding his revolver still in steady aim,
he turned to the woman and asked :
"Would you like to go Kansas and be I
free ?" do
"Yes, massa," she replied.
"Then get ready in five minutes, while I
I keep this man quiet." J
As she was dressed with scarcely sufh-
cient clothes for decent covering, her un- I
expected visitor asked :
"Are there any
house ?"
clothes in the
"Missiz has cloze," was the slave wo
man's reply.
"inen open her closet and help your
self to a decent frock.
The owner, on recovering from his first 1
surprise, stopped rocking in his chair, and
began to remonstrate. or
"Keep rocking, sir, keep rocking !" was I
the rescuer's reply, uttered with most pro- They acquire a taste for dress, style, luxu
voking coolness. ries and amusements, which can never
In a few moments the woman returned
with a shawl and a pair of shoes for her-
self, and blankets to wrap around her two
little children, aud stood waiting for fur-
ther orders.
"Are you ready ?" asked her friend
"and
the children too."
"Then bid this man good-bye!"
The woman immediately stepped out
before her master, (who kept his conipul
sory seat in the roeking-chair,) and flour
ishing her bright bandana, said :
"You thought ou was gwine to
me down South : but I ain't gwine for to
iro. I'm
a gwine with this ycr man to
Kansas to be free."
lhe ludierousuess ot the scene was
heightened by the irrepressible indignation
of the master, who cried out to his unwel-
come guest :
"Io you call this a free country where
they lay hands on a man's property bought
and paid for, and steal it away before his
own eyes ? What are our free institutions
coming to
The rescuer without stopping to hold an
argument with a man whom, at that mo
ment, no argument would have been likely
to convince, ordered the woman and her
children to run out of the house aud get
into the carriage, where she would find
friends waiting to receive her. He then
bade his astonished prisoner farewell, and
retired from the room backward, keeping
his pistoLiu steady aim until he reached
the carriage. The whip was then cracked
unim the horses, and the party were off
I r jlj
with the speed of a French diligence for
the Kansas line :
General Conference of the 31. E
Church. The General Conference of the
Methodist Episcopal Church met at Buffa
lo. N. Y., on Tuesday of last week, and
will probably continue "in session during
the whole of this month. The Conven
tion is composed of two hundred and twen
ty delegates, being one for every twenty
seven of the ordained Ministers of the
Methodist Episcopal Church in the free
States, iucluding also portions of Delaware,
Maryland, Virginia, Kentucky and 3Iis
souri. The Bishops are Messrs. Morris,
Janes, Scott, Ames aud Baker. Bishop
Morris has been the senior in office since
the death of Bishop Waugh. The vacancy
in the Board of Bishops, caused by the
death of the Rev. D. Waugh, will be filled
at the present Conference, and perhaps
oue or two additional Bishops will be
elected. The most prominent matters to
come before the Conference are whether
slaveholding shall be forbidden of the
Church ; whether the Ministers shall be
allowed to remain at any one station more
than two vears : whether the system of
- 7
Presiding Eldership shall be so amended
as to admit Lay Delegates to the Annual
anl General Conference!.
Xpg4The confidence of nobility of birth
has rendered men ignoble, as the opinion
of wealth raskes some poor.
NO. 41.
Gentility.
There is a dreadful ambition aKrr.l v.
1 Tl - . '
mougu winy iu me meanest sense in mere
courage to go patiently onward, in the
condition of life in which it has r1oeorl
, . , 1 , . - -
10 can us; out must needs live in a
fashionable state to which we ridiculously
please to call ourselves, and all to nratifv
.1.. ti .fxi.. ' , . . . fo""v.
auiiy ui mat unsUDStantial nntul
world of which we form a part. Thrp
constant struggle and pressure for front
seats in the social amphitheater- in the
miast 01 wnicn ail noble sell-denyin re
solves are trodden down, and manv fin
natures are inevitably crushorl tr. ?.-.
nat waste, what miserv. what hanl-mr..
come from all this ambition to dazzh
others with the glare of apparent worldly
chievous results show "themselves in a
thousand ways in the rank frauds com
mitted by men who dare be dishonest but
not dare seem poor; and in the Jpr.
ate dashes at fortune, in which the pity is
not so much for those who fail, as for the
hundreds of innocent families who are so
often involved in their ruin.
Mr. Hume hit the mark when he onco
stated in the House of Commons though
his words were followed by "laughter"
that the tone ot living in Lnirland is alto
gether too high. Middle classes of peo
ple are too apt to live up to their incomes.
if not beyond them ; affecting a decree of
"style which is most unhealthy in its ef-
feet upon society at large. There is an
ambition to bring boys up as gentlemen.
ratner "genteel men ; though the result
frequently is, only to make them trents.-
form any solid foundation for manly or
gentlemanly character : and the result is
that we have agreat number of gingerbread
young gentry thrown upon the world who
remind one ot the abandoned hulls some-
times picked up at sea, with only a monkey
on board.
"Misses Howe." At a tea-party in
Iowa City, a while ago, where those who
have "benefit of clerirv" are privileged
characters, the "llcv." Samuel Storrs
Howe, a frisky bachelor of over fifty win
ters, happened to be present as usual.
One of the ladies at the tea-table thought
to. enliven the conversation by addressing
mm ujiuu ine suuject 01 nis recently en
gaging in tne Dusiness ol housekeemnnr
that is, "setting up bachelor's hall ;" and
"sptt .nrr ITT. l.o-T.l, .c? Violl ." . . I
asked him how he got along, whether he
leit at home, He. " hy, yes, ma am,"
was the reply, "I begin to feel a good deal
in the family way." The ladies bit their
lips, and concluded the information was
too good to keep from their husbands.
B.The following inscription is said to
have been found' on a head-board at a
grave in the Sparta diggings, California :
In memory
of
John Smith, who met
a wierlent death, neer this spot
18 hundred & 40 too He was shot
by his own pistill,
it was not one of the new kind -but
a old fashioned one
bras barel and of such is the
.Kingdom of Heaven. -
ZST "Bob, lower yourself into the well
aud holler for help."
"What for?"
"To frighten daddy, and make some
fun."
Bub did as he was desired, but got more
fun than he bargained for. It was admin
istered with a hickory sapling. Distance
five aud a half feet.
Bs3y"Papa" observed a young urchin '
of tender years, to his "fond parient,"
"does the Lord know everything ?'
"Yes, my son," replied the hopeful
siie, "but why do you ask that question V
"Because our preacher, when he prays,
is so long telling him everything, I thought
he wasn't posted"
The "parient" reflected.
A Chinese merchant in San Fran
cisco tersely gave his American friends
his ideas on the Japanese Embassy's re
ception iu this country as follows : "Ja
panese great men now Americans want
more treaty by'n by treat3' be signed
Japanese like any body just like Chinese
just like dam nigger."
m
fltST'The Chinese picture of ambition is
a "Mandarin trying to catch a comet by
putting salt on his tail."
ia gigglchoodj aud t'vs iu buobyhoei.
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(?",'-,. .Job i 5. Rhey, Johu J Evans.