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IB 1 x m BJ IB I
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.TODD IIITCIIIXSOIV, Publisher.
I WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT THAN FRESIDEXT. Henry Clay.
TERMS:
f s2.oo ii:n axxi'M
$1.50 IX ADVAXCCi
Witt
i
Z3
i u
r0L. 1.
DIRECTORY.
ABED EXPRKSSLY FOR "THE ALLKGH AXIANV
LIST OF IOST OFFICES.
5 1'ott OjHces.
l-.Qa'i Creek,
Idhel Station,
Cirrolltown,
Chess Springs,
Post Matteri. Dittrictt.
Joseph Graham, Yoder.
Joseph S Mardis, Blaeklick.
Beujamia Winner, Carroll.
Danl. Litzinger, Chest.
John J. Troxell, "Washint'n.
Mrs. II. M'Cague, Ebensburg
f. easburg
fallen Timber. Isaac Thompson, White.
fi.Ulitz'm, J. M. Christy, Gallitzin.
lt-n Council,
Joseph Uill, Chest.
Wui. M'Gough, Washt'n.
II. A. Boggs, Johnst'wn.
Win. Gw inn, Loretto.
E. Wissinger, Coneui'gh.
A. Durbin, Munster.
Francis Clement, Conem'gh.
Andrew J. Ferra! Susq'han.
G. W. Bowman, White.
Joseph Mover, Clearfield.
George Conrad, Richland.
B. M'Colgan, Washt'n.
Wui. Murray, Croyle.
Miss M. Gillespie Washt'n. i
Andrew Beck, S'mmerh 11.
Jphnstovrn,
l.retto,
I nerul Poiat,
Milliter,
fcrshiuir,
flvasville,
Jutland,
: Jt. Augustine,
' 4.i!p Level,
I naa,
Jumtuerliill,
f .rnit,
jCIirRCIIES, MIMSTCRS, &c.
I Pr'ibitcrian Rev. D. Harbison, Pastor.
f reaching' every Sabbath morning at 10$
-lock, and in the evening at 2 o'clock. Sab
fc.ti School at 1 o'clock, P. M. Prayer meet
it evury Thursday evening at 6 o'clock,
i l';wir Episcopal Church Rev. J. Siaxe,
frevher in charge. Rev J. M. Smith, As
i.iat. Preaching every "Sabbath, alternately
ft ') o'clock in the morning, or 7 iu the
niiijf. .Sabbath School at y o'clock, A. M.
vr meeting every Thursday evening at 7
V'lch Independent Rev. Ll. R. Powell,
v-i-.-'t. 1 reaching cverv naoua.ni morning ui
t o cluck, and iu the evening at 0 o'clock.
.!'th School at 1 o'clock, P. M. Prayer
l-tiug on the first Monday evening of each
I : and on every Tuesday, Thursday
fcl Friday eveuing, excepting the first week
k tch month.
i CiUmifHc Methodist Rev. John Williams,
I'-iur. Preaching every Sabbath evening at
5alG o'clock. Sabbath School at 10 o'clock,
M. Prayer meeting every Friday evening
"o'clock. Society every Tuesday evening
' rclock.
i bu-iples Rrv. Wm. Lloyd. Pastor Preach
ki every Sabbath morning at 10 o'clock.
l'iriicular Jiap(ist$ Rev. David Jenkins.
K'lor. Preaching every Sabbath evening at
li'-!uek. Sabbath School at 1 o'clock, 1. M.
i ' u'Wic Itev. M. J. Mitchell, Pastor
Itrvice every Sabbath morning at 1 OA o'clock
H-l Veipers at 4 o'clock in the eveuing.
1 i:iii:siirn; mails.
MAILS AUKIVE.
I s'-rn, dailv, at 12 J o'clock, A. M.
stern, -"at 12. J " A.M.
MAILS CLOSE,
l eru. dailv, at Ci o'clock, A. M.
l-attrn, at Oi " A. M.
3 fes The Mails from Rutler.Indiana.Strongs
,fca. 4c, arrive on Tuesday and Friday of
-h week, at 5 o'clock. P. M.
Leave Khpnliiircr on Mondavs aud Thurs-
v at 7 o'clock, A. M.
3 The Mails from Newman's Mills. Car
It wu. 4c. arrive on Mondav aud Friday of
'liwtek. at 3 o'clock. P. M.
f Leave Kl.tnshurg on Tuesdays and Satur-f-s.
at 7 o'clock, A. M.
i C3L Post' Oflicc open on Sundays from 9
'.'J o'clock. A. M.
iiiii.fio 4ii wn'iurki'i.r:.
WILMORE STATION.
Y" Express Train, leaves at 9.45 A.
j" M.Ul Train, " 8.48 P.
Eiorpss Tr.iin. 8.24 P.
M.
M.
M.
M.
M.
'ipres Train,
Mail Train,
fast Line,
10.00
U.IiO
COIXTV OFFICEKS.
iJulj't of the Courts. President, lion. Geo.
'ur, Huntingdon : Associates, ueorgew.
t,!y. Richard .Innes. Jr.
1J'
L'l"k tu I'rlthonotary. Robert A. M Coy.
R'gii'tr and Recorder. Michael Hasson.
J r(lCf U ll ' w . - "
! W'ri'T Ttrlw.i- T T.inlnn.
'puty Shrriff. George C. K. Zahm.
"'ttrict Attorney. Philip S. Noon.
V'Unty Commissioners. John llcarer, Abel
'.yl, David T. Storm.
l?rk toCmmissionrrs. George C. K. Zahm.
"n,,i t0 Commissioners. John S. Khey.
'"Mar-i-. John A.
Blair.
' oor
llute Directors. William Palmer,
O llarro. Michael M'Guire.
' "" House Treasurer. George C. K. Zahm.
r'J' House Steward. James J. Kaylor.
"'Tr.mtiU Appraiser. Thomas M'Connell.
Editors. Hve3 j. Llovd. Daniel Cobaugh,
i"n7Hawk.
"i'!t Surveyor. Henry Scanlan.
kroner U...... r l.
'jr'rintenJent
of Common Schools. S. B.
1
"-uruiick.
JnEXSHL'RC BUR. OFFICERS.
f J lilt if. . . r .9 . t-v - 1 it 1 I . .
r'r"n kiukead.
T'J' -Andrew Lewis.
To
Council. William Kittell. William K.
,tr) Charles Owens, J. C. Noon, Edward
aemaker.
"-'r to Council. T. D. Litzinger.
"foHg Treasurer. George Gurley.
hool
j- -I'ijifr. i imam uavia.
JJirectors. F.,l-nl Glass. William
RpOCa O Tl 1 f - t T T XT -k T-fi a
'vans, Thomas J. Davis.
usurer of School Hoard Evan Morgan.
T'Wc George Gurley.
IUttioT T;1 l rr I.....:.
V- "j cirtr,on. iac r.Tni.
'"ft'sr? Ti, ii t i t I7...
Pootry.
Jenny.
On a sunny summer morning,
Early as the dew was dry,
Up the hill I went a berrying
Need I tell you tell you why?
Farmer Davis had a daughter,
And it happened that I knew
Ou each Sunday morning, Jenny
Up the hill went berrying, too.
Lovely work is picking berries,
So I joined her on the hill ;
"Jenny, dear," said I, "your basket's
Quite too large for one to fill."
So we staid we two to fill it,
Jenny talking I was still
Leading where the hill was steep,
Picking berries up the hill.
"This is up-hill work," said Jenny;
"So is life," said I ; "shall we
Climb it up alone or, Jenny,
Will you come and climb with me !"
Redder than the blushing berries
Jenny's cheeks a moment grew,
While, without delay, she answered,
'I will come and climb with you."
ADVENTURES OF BILL JENKINS;
OK,
Tlie First Mglit of Marriage.
Bill Jenkins was a very modest man ;
aud although he had mingled with the
world at barbecues, bar-rooms, and at
many of the et cetera places where men
may occasionally be found yet he was
modest, very whenever placed iu the
company of ladies. lie trembled when
ever a pretty girl would speak to him, and
felt like a culprit at the stand when called
upon to "see Miss So-and-So home." Uill
could never explain or account for this
most singular timidity, lie would sin
frolic, and be as wild as a rover among
men, but a petticoat would unnerve him
instantly.
Miss Lucy Ann Liggins had "set her
cap" for Bill, and was determined to "lead
him or die. Bill, to tell the truth, love
Lucy, and was as miserable out of her
company as he was timid in it but, as to
"popping the question, that was linpossi
ble. Lucy knit purses, hemmed handker
chiefs, worked shirt-bosoms, and gave
them to Jenkins, as well as several gold
rings, but still Bill would not propose.
Lucv declared to him repeatedly that she
loved him, aud that she was miserable
when he was absent from her, and her
h:inr.iness in life depeuded upon being his
wile but Bill was dumb. At last Lucy
was determined that he should "hea
thunder," and when he next visited her
after some Treliminarv soft talk on her
part, she very affectionately said :
"Billv. mv dear, when are you going to
j t y '
ask me to marry you ? for I want to get
my dress ready."
J Jill fainted on the spot, and hartshorn
and water were applied for half an hour
before he was finally restored.
"What has been the matter, Mis? Lucy ?"
"Oh, nothing much : you fainted when
you were about to ask me to marry you
but I told you yes and, oil ! bow happj
we will be when we are married ! I will
love you so dearly ; and as you said next
Tuesday, why, 1 am willing the wedding
should be then my dear Billy, bow I do
love you I"
"I am willing, Miss Lucy," was all that
Jenkins could articulate, while Lucy al
most kissed him into fits.
What a glorious victory !
Here we ought to "Stop, but justice to
our narrative requires that we should pro
ceed to the finale.
The uext Tuesday bad come, and Jen
kins was trembling at the approach of
evening. Something seemed to harrow
up his mind, and to no friend, even, would
he communicate his deep distress.
"You arc not afraid, certainly, to go up
nrwl o-pt. iiinrrinil whv. to marrv such a
beautiful, charming, and intellectual being
as Miss Liggins, 1 should wish that time
would flv like news upon the electric tele
graph wire; cheer up, Jenkins, my boy
cheer up !"
"Oh," replied Bill, "you don't know
xrliat distresses nic. 1 can go up and get
married that is easy enough j but there
is something I know it I feel it, I am
satisfied of one think I will never be able
n .In unless Lucv will assist me."
"Explain yourself," replied his friend,
"and if I can, with propriety, x win vu
1fvir to render vou comfortable."
But Jenkins could not explain. He
dared not; it was timidity; he saw the
Bubicon, but he knew he could not pass
it ; but he was determined to get married,
aud trust to luck and Lucy.
The night came, and they were mar
ried. All were merry; the laugh, the
song, the chat, and the dance made up a
lively party until midnight, they commen
ced to disperse ; aud at one o'clock, Bill
EBENSBURG, PA., THURSDAY, APRIL
Jenkins was left "solitary and alone" in
the hall. Lucv Ann had retired, and her l
bridesmaids were off in a distant room.
Bill was now at the point where he thought
- . I
his courage would fail him. His eitua-
tion was a peculiar one. lie was not cer-
tain which was Lucy Ann's room, although
he had been told, and even if he had known
he could not go to it.
The watchman cried "past two o'clock,"
and yet Jenkins was still alone, and appa-
rently engaged in perusing an old almanac,
which, by chance, had been- left in his
coat pocket. An old female darky, who
resided in the family, had been prevailed
upon by the ladies to show him his bed
room, aud she accordingly introduced her
self to him in as modest a stylo as she well
could.
"Mr. Jenkins," said she "past two
o -
clock."
"Oh, j-c.s, I know it, I'm going home in
a lew minutes. Uld woman, where s my
hat 7"
"It is in Miss Lucy's room, sir you
cau get it there it you 11 go in, Mr. Jen-
kins; why dont you go to bed ?"
lhe old woman seized hold of Jenkins
and pulled him along until she got out of
the hull, and all his gaze was fixed for a
moment upon the entry door; but she was
determined to put him in Miss Lucy's
room, and, after violent efforts, succeed
ed.
There he stood, with the knob of the
door in his hand, but the old darkey had
been smart enough to lock the door out
side. Lucy pretended for some tune to
be asleep, but that sort of gammon would
t answer ; at last she said
"My dear Billy, what is the matter ?"
"I want my hat !" screamed Jenkins,
ana lucy knowing nis mouesty, leaped
out of bed, and, after caressing him for
some tune, Billy went to bed with his
clothes and boots on, and trembled till
morning.
How Jenkins, subsequently, succeeded
in gettiug over his bashl'ulness, can be
known by application to his dear Lucy
Ann.
Header, strange as it may appear, there
are Jenkinses all over the world, but the
freeirasonry of weddiug life draws the
curtain before the eves of the uninitiated.
Going to bed on thu first night after mar
riage, must be among the most delicate
situations of life. Ask your married neigh
bor how it was with nun. H e nave no
experience exactly iu that way
An Extinguisher. Dr. X. attended
a masquerade ball. In the motley and
happy throng, he falls in with a fair pil
grim in blacksilk, whose charming person,
snow-white neck, aud bewitchiugly coquet
tish airs awaken in his soul the most rap
turous love. She casts upon him looks of
the most languishing tenderness; he revels
u the hope of having made a blissiul
conaucst. He musters up his courage, aud
1 A w
ventures to address her:
"Who art thou, lovely Miss ?" asked the
doctor, almost melted in the glow of love.
"Is it possible that you do not know me,
doctor ?"
"Upon my honor I do not know thee.
"Bethink yourself, dear doctor."
"Ah ! thou art the gracious fairy who
las appeared to me to-uiirht for the fourth
time to open for me the gates of bliss."
"1UU 111 1 ft til UWIU1 f A UlU 11 V A til A J
"Ah! who art thou, then?"
"I am the well known may to wnom
vou nave uceu lnueoiea me sum oi iwu
1 - 1 .1 i. . .1 ll.. A A
dollars and seven shillings lor washing.
The doctor stood like a petrified her-
ring.
Didn't Take the Paper. Some years
afro, a lauy ncncing a neignoor no was
t . - i v i.
not in her seat at church one cab oath call
I nn her return home to inriuiro what
6hould detain so punctual an attendant.
has got so plaguey stingy he won't take
" r , i -it.? Air ii
the uaDcr. ana we know uoiuing. hch
who nreached?" "Mr. ." "W'hat did
he preach about: ' "It was on the aeam
. . . i ' 1 .1
nfth Savour." "Whv, is he dead?
Well, all Boston might be dcad, and we
Inmr Tlfitllllll SI bout it! It won't do, we
must have the newspaper ag
thing goes wrong without
has almost forgot his read
"ot nuite mopish again, because
no poetry and stories to read. Well if we
have to take a cart-load of onions and po
tatoes to market, I'm resolved to have a
newspaper." '
jfeaJ" A contemporary asks whether wo
men ought to be hung. We unhesitating
ly answer not all of them.
v i w 1,,,.,.- ti,a 'minil flirt-nii- - 0 .. .i.u..uv.u , uait cuutv 111 uainci i"
nUS 2Zn of talking so loud was not injurious to my ity for the following : "A Methodist nun- MVtll I declare," said Lc, looking a
ily busy at work. p" wife. So said she, iu an unearthly hoot ier was tramping through the settle- little foolish, "I reckon I've got parrot"
herfnendaddressedhcr-- A hj la .vvheie for her voice AT:is not as musicai as it was men ts doing good where he might. He two stories mixed '."
have ijou been to-day -, dres d up in . jour ghe gDocsn't talking so tarried for the night at one of the "pio-
Sunday -clothes? lo meeting. JJ. loud strain your lungs?" neer's" cabins. The old 'oman, while JBST TheBuffalo ltepublican says : "We
what day is it. babbathaay. ai, qt is an exertion," shrieked my wife, preparing supper, entered into conversa- lately picked up the following memoranda
stop-washing, in a minute . fcabbath day ; Tliea why do you do it?" was the an- tion with her visitor, and the following which we saw dropped by a young lady
Well. I did not know it, for my husband . -V J ,, .t:.i ;., ... Jv.m,.i.
My Ckuelty to My Relative. I
had an aunt coming to visit me for the
first time since my marriage, and I don't
know what evil genius prompted the wick
eduess ( l acknowledge, witn tears in iny
t s -t i l 1 . l
eyes, that it was sucb)which I perpetrated
towards my wife and my ancient relative,
"My dear," said I to my wife, on the
day beiore my aunt s arrival, "you know
Aunt 3Iary is coming to-morrow; well I
forgot to mention a rather annoying cir-
cumstance with regard to her. fehc s very
ueai ; ana, anno sne can near my voice,
to which she is accustomed, in its ordinary
tones, yet you will be obliged to speak ex
tremely loud in order to be heard. It will
be rather inconvenient, but I know you
will do everything in your power to make
her stay agreeable.
Mrs. S. announced her determination to
make herself heard, if possible.
I then went to John I nomas, who loves
a joke about as well as any person 1 know
of, told him to be at my house at six P. 31.
on the following evening, and felt compar-
atively happy.
I went to the railroad station with a
carriage next evening, and when 1 was on
my way home I said, "My dear aunt, there
is one rather annoying infirmity that Arae-
lia has, which I forgot to mention before.
She's very deaf; and, although she can
hear my voice, to which she is accustomed,
in its ordinary tones, yet you will be obli
ged to speak extremely loud in order to be
heard. I m sorry for it.
Aunt Mary, in the goodness of her
heart, protested that she rather liked speak-
mg loud, and to do so would afford her
great pleasure.
1 he carriage drove up on the steps was
wife at the window was John Thomas,
with a face as utterly solemn as if he had
buried all his relatives that afternoon.
I handed out my aunt she ascended
the steps.
"I am delighted to see you," shrieked
my wife, and the policeman on the opposite
side of the street started, and my aunt near
ly fell down the steps.
"Kiss me, my dear," howled my aunt;
and the hall lamp clattered, and the win
dows shook as with the fever and ague.
I looked at the window John had disap
peared. Human nature could stand it no
longer. I poked my head into the carriage
and went into strong convulsions.
When I entered the parlor my wife was
helping Aunt Mary to take off her bonnet
and cape; and there sat John with his face
4
oi woe.
Suddenly. "Did you have a pleasant
journey?" went off my wife, like a pistol,
and John lhouias rather jumped to his
feet.
Bather dusty," was the response, in a
.t f ii.. i: ...
war-whoop ; and so the conversation con
tinned.
The neighbors for streets around must
have heard it : wheu I was in the third
story of the building, I heard every word
plainly.
In the course ot the evening, my aunt
took occasion to say to me, "How loud
your wife speaks ! Don't it hurt her ?"
I told her all deal persons talked loudly,
and that my wife, being used to it, was not
affected oy the exertion, and that Aunt
Mary was getting along very nicely with
her.
Presently my wife said softly, "Alf, how
very loud your aunt talks."
"l cs, said 1, "all deaf persons do. 1 ou
.. -ill a'l 1
are getting along with her nneiy ; sue
hears every word j"ou say
And 1 rather
think she did.
Elated by their success at being under-
stood, they went at it, hammer and tongs,
till everything on the mantel-piece clat-
tcred again, and 1 was seriously atraid ot
a crowd collecting in front of the house.
Jut the euu was near, iuy auui, uemg
nr . . .:
of an investigating turn ot mind, was do-
"Because because you can't hear, if
I don't, squealed my wile.
'What?" said my aunt, fairly rivalling
a railroad whistle, this time.
I began to think it time to evacuate the
Tiromises: and. lookinir round, and seeing
i. 7 - ' i V . . , , , ,
his ribs, and a most agonized expression
of countenance, but not uttering a sound.
T : .J:..1t ...t ?,,-rwliiTitnrilir ;ittiiniPf
- tl ..l,;,,,,!. onrl I thinlr fruit, trnm
- ... .
.i i..: eWiirh-Wannrl hoadsJ
aud our attempt to restrain our laughter,
nlATv must Lave inevitably ensued, if
a horrible jrroan, which John gave vent to,
i cinnw m tinfiino- our wiiprnor iiifi rxcniou i rnr in umnintn nssiimos aii resnousi oi'- i l,., t m.
tWeilllU Stiram. I CUIHXIUV IUU luvv . UIUUU III ail imuwiunvvi . v. i . v Miun, aim
am, for every- , " . . fl oQ hig ba(. whh his u y , Jobn , ghouted tfcc 0iu lady
I M 1 - 1 ..-4 .i-v t". n ..I- -.. I - I 1 I" i 1 1. ...... '
i .tr.n rrftiit- i sii'iiiirii 111111 11111 iv niiiiui. i cfinn tr in minx: til. Aaii&cik
the paper. UUl , . i,t nnn to his bodv. rollincr twi rio-ht. hrre this minit : here's a
ing, i ony nas .. . , -, i.idfists poked into ctnnYr all the wav from Shelby county,
19, 1860.
in his endeavor to repress his risibility,
had not betrayed our hiding-place.
In rushed my wife and my aunt, who,
by this time, comprehended the joke ; and
such a scolding as I then got I never got
before, and I hope never to get again.
I know not what the end would have
been, if John, in his endeavors to appear
respectful an! sympathetic, had not giveu
veut to such a diabolical noise, something
between a groan and horse-laugh, that all
gravity was upset, and we screamed in
concert.
Our Foremothers. Some good-natured
wag, zealous for the honor of wo
manhood, has given utterance to the fol
lowing tribute to his ancestors on the
female side. It is well done, and well
worth reading :
We hear enough about our forefathers.
They were very nice old fellows, no doubt.
Good to work, eat, or fight. Very well.
But where are their conpanions, their
"chums," who, as their help-mates, urged
them along t Who worked and delved for
our forefathers, brushed up their old clothes,
aud patched their breeches ? Who almost
involved themselves for the cause of liber
ty ? Who nursed our forefathers wheu
sick, sang Yankee Doodle to their babies,
and trained up their boys ? Our fore
mothers. Who landed at James Biver, and came
over in the Mayflower, and established the
other early settlements ' Were there any
women among them ? One would think
not. Our Yankee neighbors especially
make a wonderful talk about the pilgrim
fathers who squatted on Plj mouth llock,
and there is a jrreat ado made over it every
time they wish to get up a little enthusi-
asm on liberty, and refresh themselves by
crowing over freedom ; and the chivalry
of Virginia are not a whit behind them
when they take a notion to vaunt them-
selves upon the glory and greatness of the
Old Dominion ; and our staid Pennsylva-
uia Quakers, too, like to plume themselves
slyly upon the merits and doings of Wil-
liam Penn and his associates ; but with all
the "blarney" so plentifully distributed on
all sides, what do we hear or gather about
our foremothers ? Didn't they land on a
rock too ? Didn't they encounter perils
and hardships ? And, after all, didn't
they, with their kind hearts, sustain the
flagging spirits of the male companions ?
Who ushered us into this world our
forefathers ? Bah ! No, indeed ; it was
our foremothers. Who nursed George
Washington, Anthony Wayne, Benjamin
Franklin, Israel Putuam, and a host of
other worthies, whose names will live for
ever, and taught them to be men and pa-
trlnts ? Didn't our foremothers? And
wi.n rr;ves them the credit they deserve ?
I C J
Nobody.
e have our monuments commemora
ting, aud our speeches, our songs, our
toasts, and our public dinners celebrating
the"wonderful deeds of our forefathers, but
where are those in honor of our foremoth
ers ? We had better be getting them
ready. We talk ourselves hoarse, aud
write ourselves round-shouldered, while
boiling over with enthusiasm about the
nice things our forefathers did," and yet
nothing is said about our foremothers, to
whom many a virtuous act and brave deed
may be ascribed, such as auy hero wouia
be proud to owu.
c wish not to detract. All hail to the
noble old men, our forefathers, saj- we.
ATv thft o-lorv of their deeds never be
jcss. but tj,e go0(j ioot tells to "render
unto Ctcsar, etc., and we wish to speak a
i : season for women cent-rally, and
cspcciaHy for our noble and self-sacrifi-
c; foreinothers, lest time, and the one-
gjdej page 0f history, shall blot them for-
from our memories.
I
Searching the Lost Sheep. A pa-
loouv took pia
, i
"Stranger, where might you be from :"
j "Madam, 1 reside in Shelby couuty,
Kentucky."
"Wall, stranger, hope no offence, but
I what mought you be dom way up here ?
"M.-uhmi. lam searching for the lost
l n -r i
Kentucky, a huutik' stock, ana l n just
ijet my life that that tangle-haired old ram
I il. ' t.i In nnr lf fur they hist. TvrrW IS
I .
Af I, 'n
. . ,
Courasre, like cowardice, is undoubted-
lv , coutaoious, but some persona arc not
1 ut all liable to catch it.
NO. 35.
Caught ix his Own Trap. A girl,
young and pretty, but above all, gifted
with an air of adorable candor, lately pre
sented herself before a certain Parisian
lawyer.
"Monsieur, I came to consult you on a
grave affair. I want to oblige a man I
love to marry me in spite of himself. How
shall I proceed ?"
The gentleman of the bar had, ot
course, a sufficiently clastic conscience.
lie reflected a moment, then being sure
that no third person overheard him, re
plied unhesitatingly :
"Mademoiselle, according to our law,
you always possess the means of forcing a
man to marry you. You must remain on
three occasions alone with mm, that you
can go before a judge and swear that he ia
your lover."
"And will that suffice, Monsieur V
"Yes, mademoiselle, with one further
condition."
"Well ?"
"That you will produce witnesses who
will make au oath to their having seen
you remain a good quarter of an hour with
the individual said to have trifled with
jour affections."
"Very well, Monsieur, I will retain you
as counsel in the management of this af
fair. Good day."
A few days afterwards the young girl
returned. She was mysteriously received
by the lawyer, who, scarcely giving her
time to seat herself, questioned her with.
the most lively curiosity.
"Well, mademoiselle, how do matters
prosper ?"
"Capital:"
"Persevere in your designs, Mademoi-
selle, but mind the next time you come to
consult me, you must tell me the name ot
the young man we are going to render so
happy in spite of himself."
"l'ou shall have it without fail, Mon-
sieur."
A fortnight afterwards, the yaung'per-
sou, more naive aud candid than ever,
knocked discreetly at the door of her
counsel's room. No sooner Avas she in the
room, than she flung herself into a chair,
saying that she had mounted the steps too
rapidly, and that the emotion made her
breathless. Her counsel endeavored to
reassure her, made her inhale salts, and
even proposed to release her garments.
"It is useless, said she, "1 am much
better."
"Well, Mademoiselle, now tell me the
name of the fortunate mortal you are going
to expose.
" ell, the fortunate mortal, be it known
to you, is yourself, said the young
beauty, bursting into a laugh. "I love
vou, I have been three times tctc-a-tcte
with vou, and my four witnesses are be
l " J l ...mi: i
low, ready and willing to accompany me
to the magistrate's," gravely continued
the narrator.
The lawy er, thus fairly caught, had the
good sense not tc get angry. The most
singular fact of all is, that he adores his
young wife, who, by the way, makes an
excellent housekeeper.
Slightly Mixep.. Weonco heard an
old fellow, famous all over the country for
his tough yarns, tell the following. He
Was telling what heavy wheat he had seen
m ;Cw lork:
"My father," said he, "once had a field
0f wheat, the heads ot which were so close
together, that the wild turkeys, when they
p.niio to ont it. roulJ walk round on the
top .-fit anywhere."
e suggested that, the turkeys must
have been small oiiCi
No, sir," continued lie, "they were
very large ones. I shot one of them one
Jay, and wheu I took hold of his legs to
enrrv him. his head draircrcd in the snow
: J ' -
l.eliirid me.
t curious country you must have had
exquisite llonitou collar, a white hat aud
plume, and a painfully brilliant silk drcsj
with exaggerated flounces:
I must get a Vale, Sarcnct, GIuvs,
Broun Hoss. Laisc, Shiminyzct, Kuloue."
I -c om. . i i , r : : i .
west solemnly inquires
"Is this the nineteenth century I
We take pleasure in stating that a rc-
port to mat cueci pioaua .-xieu.-nc-iy m
this section ot the country.
1
I A crtlin1m.ic;fit tl -1 rw I m 141. tkllr.il
I W -V Iiuumini ovv - FuF"l
"Can you decline a kiss ? She replied,
dropping a perplexed courtesy, "Vcs, ir,
I can, but would bate to do so)oraetimcsi
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