f
i
aII'IS i,l i ,IJl 1 1, Sri, 1 ti, .
i '
BaLSIXGKU & IIUTCIIIXSOX,
I WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT THAN PRESIDENT. Hexuy Clay.
1'irni.isiiEits.
VOL. 1.
JLLEGHANIAN" DIRECTORY.
j LIST OF POST OFFICES.
J I'ut O'ii ' Post Matters. Districts.
J un's I'n-i'k,
:iul suiuii,
fc.rro'.ltown,
GI.'.'ss Si-rings,
JC ti,!;'.irg.
Jos-cpu liruham, Yoder.
Josephs Murdis, Ulacklick.
lienj.unin Wirtner, Carroll.
D ull. Litzinger, Chest.
John J. Troxell, "U'ashinfn.
M. C M'Caue, Ebensburu-
B.IK'ii Timber, Isaac Thompson, 'White.
0:Hit.in, J. M. Christ- Gallitzia.
rtl.n I Vmiicll .ToiPIll dill
ii Council,
Chest.
Washt'n.
Johnst vn.
Loretto.
Conem'gh.
H' -mloi-k, Wirt. M'Gough,
Jfc:mtovn,
li rctto.
II. A. Hoggs,
m. Gwiim,
3irier.il Point, E. Wisshiger,
mister, A. Durbin
Munster.
Tilling,
Francis Clement, Conem'gh.
Ht-iViilC,
Andrew J. r erra! Susq'han
..-oI tii'l,
u. u . Uowtnan
AVhite.
Au'iutine, Joseph Mover,
Clearfield.
Richland.
Washt'n.
Crovle.
uii Level,
George CouraJ,
S':nu;i:i,
fl(l.!U!lHThill,
J. -M ( olgan,
Win. Murray.
Miss M. Gillespie Washt'n.
Andrew Deck, S'maierliill.
till 'RCEIES, 3IIMSTCRS, &c.
I I'r's'niterian Rev. I). Hariiison-. Pastor.
.;u!iin every Sabbath morning at Hi.l
iKi. ana ni tue evenuirr at 2 u clock. Sal-
!i Sdioolut I o'clock. P. M. Praver mcet-
' every Thursday evening at G o'clock.
'I 'U I'li.i! I'ifcqml Church. Rev. J. Shane,
r: i' in r in cliar 'e. Kcv J. .M. mith. As-
-t.i:it. Preachinir every Sabbath, nlternatelv
I'M o'clock in the momitig, or 7 in the
i.ifi-'. Sabbath School at "J o'clock. A. M.
;yi r meeting every Thursday evening :it 7
II" '.-A Lil-p.'n.l.-ntV.z-. Li. R. Powell,
'.ir. Preaching every Sabbath morninjr at
M i) clock, mid iu the evening at t o'clock.
School at 1 o'clock, P.M. Prayer
"i-:i:ig on the first Monday evening of each
4 ;!i : and on every Tuesday, Thursday
4 1 l- r: lay evt inng, excepting the first week
IMCll lUOlltll.
C ilrinUlic Mcthoilist Rev. Jorix Williams,
it.'r. Treaching every Sabbath evening at
:i:id 0 o'clock. Sabljath School at 10 o'clock,
M. l'r.iyer meeting every Friday evening
7 o In' k. Society every Tuesday evening
7 o'clock.
;,). Uk v. Wm. Lloyd, Pastor rreacb
f, eve ry Sabbath morning at 10 o'clock.
I'iiT'.ltuLir lliiutlsts Hkv. David Jenkins,
tor. Preaching every S:ibath evening at
u ciuck. abbath School at 1 o clock, P. M.
t'i''iofi Rev. M. J. Mitchell, Pastor.
TVice.-j every Sabbath morning at 10A o clock
m.l Ve.-jieri at 4 o'clock in tho evening.
i:i!Csiu iu; .iails.
MAILS ARRIVE.
trii. daily, at 12'. o'clock. A. V.
Jr.-tem, " at 12.1 " A.M.
MAILS CLOSE:
.t- rn, di'ily, at 0 o'clock, A. M.
Intern, ut c " A.M.
J'-TIic Mails from Rutler,Indian,Stron.-.--v:i,
ic, arrive on Tuesday and Friday of
; . i j
h week, at f o'clock, P. M.
Leave Ebensburz on Mondavs and Thur3-
(l vs t 7 o'clock. A. M.
E1.. The Mails from Newman's Mills, Car-
f;;;jwu, a.c, arrive on Monday and Friday of
f li v tcli, ut .' o'clock, I'. M.
be;'.', e Lbeiisburg on 1 utsdays and batur-
at 7 o'clock, A. M.
Po.-.t OiTicc ottix on Suuda-a front 9
I 10 o'clock, A. M.
WILMOItE STATION.
Eire?s Train, leaves at 9.45 A. M.
Mail Train, " 8.43 1'. X.
i:t Impress Train, " 8.21 P. M.
Mail Train, " 10. 00 A. M.
" Fuit Line, " C.JJ A. M
COl'STY OFFICERS.
Jifljrs of the C-.uris. President, Hon. Geo.
'vlur. 11 uutinvrdon ; Associates, Gcorge'.
:isl.-y, Richard Jones, Jr.
Irothonottiry. Joseph M'DonnM.
Cl-rk to J'rothoiiofur;. Robert A. M'Coy.
ll'ylsicr and lleconlrr. Michael Hanson.
D'pal'j litijisUr and lUcvrdtr. John iscan
m. Shr;f. Robert F. Linton.
Jt'pnty Sheriff. George C. K. Zalirn.
JJiirit-l Atlorw't. Philip S. Noon.
Ctunt'i Cumininsionert. John Rearer. Abel
.lyd, David T. Storm.
CUrk in Cumiiisxtotwrs. George C K. Zulim.
Cniin.1,-1 it, Cdimuixsionar'. John S. llhey.
Traiurer. George J. Rodger?.
SJivid (J llarro. Michael M'Guire.
P oor Jl'iuse Treasurer. George C. K. ZaLin.
Poor Jloune Steward. James J. Kaylor.
M-reuntilc Appraiser. Thomas M'Cor.nell.
Auditors. liees J. Llovd. Daniel Cobauirh,
lllenry Hawk.
County Surveyor. Henry Scanlan.
Coroner. Peter Dougherty.
Superintendent of Common Schools. S. B.
VCoruiick.
Justices of the Peace. David H. Roberts,
Harrison Kinkead.
Purge. Andrew Lewis.
Town Cnunril. Andrew-Lewi. Jnclnin. f
Tarrish, David Lewis, Richard Jones, Jr., M.
--. narr.
Clerk to Council. James C. Noon.
P'lronjh Treasurer. George Gurley.
Weijh Masters. Davis li Lloyd.
School I;,,i-ir.,. f C, MTa-vue. A. A
fjirker, Thomas 51. Jone3, Reeso S. Lloyd,
Inward Glass, William Davis.
Jreaturer of School Hoard. Lvan Morgan.
Constable. George Gurley.
Tax Collector. George Gurley.
Auessor. Richard T. Davis.
Judys of Election. uavid J. Jocl-
EBENSBURG, PA., THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 18G0.
SJLECT POETRY
Tlie Klslit orilomo.
The Light of Home ! how bright it beani3
When evening shades around us fall;
And from the lattice far it gleams
To love, and rest, and comfort, all;
When wearied with the toils of day,
And strife for glory, gold and fame,
How sweet to seek the iuiet way,
Where loving lips will lisp our naruo
Around the light at home !
When through the dark and stormy night
The wayward wanderer homeward flies,
How cheering is that twinkling light
That through the forest gloom he spies!
It is the light of home. He feels
That loving hearts will greet him there ;
And softly through his bosom steals
The joy and love that banish caro
Around the light at home !
The light at home ! how still and sweet
If peeps from yonder cottage door
The weary laborer to greet
When the rough toils of day arc o'er !
Sad is the soul that does not know
The blessings that the beams impart,
The cheering hopes and joys that How,
And lighten up the heaviest heart
Around the light a home !
SELECT MISCELLANY
A Letter V oi lli Keatiiuc.
The following letter from Mr. John
Smith, a wc-ll-to-ilo and respectable fanner,
appears in the Newark Uaily Ahmcrt!xcrt
and may be profitably read by all who feel
an interest to the social and intellectual
training of the rising generation :
Mr. lltlltof : 1 am a farmer and so was
my father before me. I have not followed
iu his footsteps in the way of managing the
farm, because I have taken Aixricuhiiral
papers, and have learned much that was
not his to know; and what's more, the
railroad has come within three miles of
me, so that the old farm which my father
tilled so many years is worth five times
what it was in his day. I am not one of
the kind of men who croak and grumble
about old times. I enjoy modem times,
and would not give up my machines, and
go back to the old wajs of doiug things
by hand, for any mouey. I often wonder
if my father can look down from Heaven
and see the mowers and reapers fly over
the old places where he toiled and .sweat.
I cannot help chuckling to myself, as Isit
iu my sulkey and ride over the old familiar
1 daces ; cutting down the grass, and raking
it up again like half a dozen men; to think
my boys can go to school all the year
round, and never need suffer from the
want of learning, as I do even to this day.
My wife is up to the times, too, and
likes to give her family a good chance in
the world. She is a good manager, rising
early, and rising to some purpose. 1 owe
half of my prosperity to her help and
counsel. -My boys aregrowing up healthy,
sensible young fellows. The two oldest
harness up the old mare and go to the
Academy t'aree miles off, and excepting a
little while during hay aud harvest they
do not 1 j::c a day all the year round. The
only thing that troubles me is my daught
ers. .iVavy, the oldest, is a fine, hand
some, smart girl of nineteen. She went
to the district school till she was sixteen,
and then she had learned all there was to
learn there. So we concluded to send her
to Mrs. Drake's Seminary, about fifty miles
off. She did get along amazingly. In
two years r-ho had learned a pile, aud be
sides had painted beautiful pictures enough
to cover our i.arlor walls (though I must
confess I suspect her teacher gave her a
lift no7 and then.) She could sing epual
to the parson's wife, and can set the tunes
in meeting when the srpire's away. She
knew the French for everything around
the house, and understood botany, chemist
ry, and natural philosophy, aud more
things than I tan mention.
"While the was at Mrs. Drake's she only
came hums at fall and spring vacations,
and then was so busy sewing and getting
ready to go back again that her mother
did not think it worth while to set her to
work. Well, last spring she came home
for good, aud a joyful day it was to me.
I felt happy to think 1 had a daughter
who had a good education in her head, and
spry healthy hands to work. Uut Mr.
Editor, she is a spoiled girl, for aught I can
see, but her mother thiuks she will come
to after a while.
She cau't bear to see me in my shirt
sleeves, no matter how clean and white,
but insists upon my wearing a linen dus
ter; for she has learned that "it is disgust
in" to tat with a man in his shirt sleeves."
So she is ri"ht-down ashamed of her
mother's bauds, because they show that
she has bceu a hard working woman all
her life. Our hotno-made striped carpeta
fit to be seen." She won't let Dob and
Dick run about bare-footed, for she savs
they look like beggars. She has written
their names in their spelling books Rob
bie aud DicJcie, and written hers Xancie
Smyth. She says she would rather uot
cat with the servants that is our hired
man and woman who have lived with us
six years, and were born and raised on the
next farm. It makes her sick to smell
pork and cabbage. She has not forgotten
how to milk ; butif anybody rides by when
she is milking, she gets behind the cow
and hides her head, as if she was stealintr
milk. I have stood these things without
saying much until last Sunday' when she
insisted upon our hiied people sitting up
in the gallery, because we needed alfour
pew room.
I hired two pews to have room for all.
I knew she expected two boarding school
misses to make a visit, and Was planning
to get our men-folks out of sight. I bolt
ed out at this, and had a regular blowinir
up, and told Xancy she was getting too
big-feeling entirely for a farmer's daught
er. She staid home from church and
cried all day. I hate crying women more
than a long drought, so I shan't scold her
again.
I don't want to be hard on the girl, but
what am I to do '! I am willing to let her
feed the chickens in gloves, and spell all
our names wrong, and I'd just as lief have
the boys wear shoes; but when it conies
to overturning everything, and being
ashamed of her father and mother, and
home, I am discouraged. I have bought
her a piano, and let her learn music two
years, for she is naturally musical. She
camp near fainting one night when the
Squire's son, just out of college, and a
whiskered chap f rom the city, were here,
because I said : "Come Xancie, give us a
tune on the piany." I saw something was
wrong but couldn't guess what, for 1 had
on my duster, and wasn't tipping my chair
back, (a "vulgar trick," Nancy calls it.)
The next day my wife told me what was
to pay. I must say I like my old fashion
ed way of pronouncing as well as her new
fashioned way of spelling. And only this
morning after breakfast when her ma told
her to shake the table cloth, what does
she do but take it way through the long
hall and out the back door, for fear some
one would see her shake it in the same
place where she had for ten years. I've
got new boughtcu carpet for the parlor,
aud now she wants the front windows cut
down to the floor.
Yesterday she came to me to know if
she might "teach dislrii t s:7toof." "No,"
said I, "why do you want to teach ? I
am able to keep six girls like you, if I had
them. No, I can't think of your teach
ing." Upon this she began to cry again,
and I can't stand women's tears, so 1 said
'tench!" and she is going to teach all win
ter and summer, in a little bit of a school
house, nut as big as my pig-house, for fear
she will get tanned and freckled aud spoil
her hands helping her mother.
Now, Mr. Editor, I have g'ven up Nan
cy, but I have three fine girls growing up.
I am able and willing to give them all a
good education, for I believe in it, in spite
of the dreadful blunder I have made. I
would like to know if you can tell me of
any place where a farmers davjlilir can
get a good education and not lose her
senses. I cau't stand it to have our oth
er airls get too big for our old-fashioned
farm house ; I wan't them sensible, aud
well-informed women, but I set down my
loot against having them all turn school
teachers. John Smith.
Soiiire W.'s Mistake. A corrcsnon-
,v 4,
dent of the Mobile Tribune tells the fol
lowing :
Old Squire . is an honest jovial soul,
with a few religious scruples fond of a
hearty laugh or a good joke at any time,
lie relates the following on himself as an
actual occurrence :
"One night, boys, I had a very strange
dream, I thought 1 waa about to get to
heaven. A long ladder, like Jacob's,
reached from the ground towards the 'good
T.hic' and it was on this ladder that I went
up. "When I reached the top, I found a
space of seven or eight feet intervening be
twppn the last round and the celestial cate.
I could see within, and catch glimpses of
the things inside. 1'eter stood at the en
trance -he leaned over reached out his
hands and told me to jump. I did jump,
boys, and got one of the d dst falls you ever
lu-.ird of for I found mvself sprawling on
the floor, having jumped out of bed, while
I was trying to jump to heaven.
A recent writer thus concludes his
story : "This U my 1st attempt a writin'
a Tail & it is far from being perfeck, but
if i have induced folks to see that in 9
nut nf 10 thev can either make Life
as barren as the Desert of Sarah, or as
joyous as a flower garding, my object wxi
hav bin accomplished. Adoo."
Wo Ifou Want a Hoy, Sir V9
"Do you want a boy, sir ?" said George,
a little urchin scarcely eight years old, to
a sprucc-lookiug clerk in a large store.
"Want a boy ? "Why, -ho wauts to be
hired '(" asked the clerk, looking with a
puzzled glauce at the little applicant.
"I do, sir," replied (Jeorge.
"Look here, gentlemen," cried the
young man, speaking to his fellow clerks,
"here is a regular Goliah seeking work '
"Wants to be a porter, I s'pose. Look at
him ! Ain't he a strapper V
The clerks gathcied in great glee about
poor George, who stood full of earnest
purpose before them, and was, therefore,
unconscious of any reason why he should
be made an object of sport.
"What can you do ?" asked one.
"You can post books, of course," said
another.
"Carry a bale of goods on your shoul
der, eh V cried a third.
"Hush, young gentlemen," cried the
elderly book-keeper at the desk, after
viewing George through his spectacles.
"Hush ! Don't make sport of the child.
Let me talk to him." Then, speaking to
George in kindly tones, lie said: '"You
are too young to be hired, my child. "Who
sent you here '"
"I came myself, sir. My father and
mother are gone to heaven. My aunt is
poor, and 1 want to earn something to help
her. I am very strong, sir, and will work
very hard. Won't you please to hire mc ?"
ims simple story, told in a way that
showed how earnest the boy was, not only
checked the sport of the spruce clerks, but
brought tears to their eves. They looked
on the delicate child before them with ad
miration and respect, and one of them
placing a nuaiter dollar on the desk, asked
the rest to follow his example. They did
so. lie took the money, aud offered it to
George, saying :
"lou are too small to be of any use
here, mv good boy, but take, the money,
and when you have grown a bit, perhaps
we mayr nud something tor you to do.
George looked at the money without
offering to touch it.
"Why don't you take the money ?" ask
ed the clerk.
"If you please, sir, I am not a beggar,"
said George; "I only want something to
pay my aunt lor keeping me.
"lou area noble little lellow, said the
senior clerk. "We give you the money,
not because we think you are a beggar,
but because we like jour spirit! Such a
boy as you will never be a beggar. Take
the change, my boy, and may God give
jou and your aunt better days."
George now took the monev, put it care
fully into his pocket, and left the store.
His aunt, needy as she was could not help
laughing when he told his story, and the
chiding she gave him for going iu search
of work without her counsel was not very
severe you may feel assured.
1 liKe George s spirit in this nuair. It
was the spirit that makes poor boys grow
into useful and successful men. It made
George do this, for in after years that lit
tle boy became a noted artist, whose praise
was spoken by many tongues. All chil
dren should cherish a desire to do all they
can fur themselves, and to support them
selves by their own labor as early as pos
sible. Those who leau on father and
mother for everything, will find it hard to
get along by-and-by, as they may have to
io when tneir parents die: while those
who early learn to rely upon themselves,
will have little difficulty in earning their
own living. Learn, therefore, my chil
dren, to help yourselves always minding
to iIj so under the advice and with the
consent of j our parents or guardians.
A Volcano in New York State.
The Troy Arena of January Dnh is re
sponsible for the following : "ihe facts
herein stated may ajpear somewhat in
credible to those not conversant with them.
They can, however, be substantiated by
thousands of witnesses residing in the vi
cinity alluded to, and may be relied upon
as strictly true iu every particular. In
Putnam county, in this State, nearly oppo
site West Point, there is a mountain known
in the neighborhood as Ureak Neck Moun
tain, into which there is an opening of a
cavernous description, somewhat irregular
in form, but quite straight in its direc
tion, and 20 feet or more iu diameter, out
of which at certain time there issue mas
ses of matter with great force. These
eruptions are composed of vitreous and
mineral substances of various kinds, to
gether with fragments of trees, and not
uufrequeutly mingled with evidences of
animal existence, lhcse masses amount
sometimes in bulk to several tons ; they
cause a deafening roar, and arc acconipa
nied by fire aud amoke. The existence of
this volcano has not been known until lat
terly, which is probably the reason that it
J Jim attracted no more noucc.
m .... 1 '
Xlse Capital of Jupuu.
hat shall I say of this greatest and most
singular of all cities ? A volume is need
ed to describe it, without attempting to
give its history. I have read of old Nin
evah aud Dabylon below the ground, and
seen aud handled the works of art which
have been disinterred and created so much
admiration on both sides of the Atlantic ;
but one living Jeddo, above the ground,
is worth a hundred old foggy cities below
it. I cannot give you any idea of it, it is
so unique, so unlike everything except it
self, and so impossible as you will think.
I have seen several places of interest, and
maintained a cool head, but I was bewil
dered and confounded when I saw this.
It is situated on the western shore of this
charming gulf, tweuty miles wide by twenty-four
long. It stretches for twenty miles
and more along a beach of a semi-circular
form, with its horns turned outwards,
and along which a street extends, crowd
ed with blocks of stores and houses and
teeming with moving crowds, while shop
keepers, artisans, women and childreu,
seem equally numerous within the doors
and at the doors. Indeed, a dozen or fif
teen miles might be added to the lenghth
of the city iu this direction, since there is
nothing but an unbroken succession of
towns and villages for this distance, which
are as populous and well-built as the city
itself. I n crossing the city from the shore
to the western outskirts, L have walked two
miles and a half, and then proceeded on
horseback for teu miles more, making
twelve and a half in the whole, while in
other places it may be wider still. Accor
ding to the lowest estimate, the city covers
au area equal to seven of the New En
gland farming towns, which are usually
six miles square. And all is traversed by
streets, usually wide, well constructed,
perfectly neat, and crossing each other at
right angles streets lined with houses
and stores as compactly as they can be
built, and crowded with moving or sta
tionary masses, as thick as in our Wash
ington street, or tanees. The population
is estimated generally at thiee millions,
which Mr. Harris, our minister, thiuks is
no exaggeration. For my part, judging
from what I have seen when I have gone
into the heart of the city, and crossed the
city from side to side, 1 should be willing
to add as many millions more ; for the liv
ing, moving masses, seen from suurise to
sunset, and everywhere the same fairly
seemed beyond computation. One city as
large as seven fine towns in Desrkshire
county, and containing a population three
times as large as that of the whole State
of Massachusetts ! That is enough to
think of for a moment. Japan Corres
pondence oi the Dostoa Traveller.
The Newspaper. In no other way
can so much, so varied, so useful informa
tion be imported, under circumstances so
favorable for educating the child's mind,
as through a judicious, well conducted
newspaper.
lo live in a village was once to be shut
up, conducted. Jut now a man may be
a hermit, wi.iking miles to a post-office,
having a mail but once a week, and yet,
he shall be as familiar with the world as
the busiest actor in it. For the newspa
per is a spy glass by which he brings near
the distant things a microscope by which
he examines the most minute ; an air trum
pet by which he collects and brings with
in his hearing all that is said and done all
over the earth a museum full of living
pictures oi real life, drawn, not on can
vass, but with printer's ink ou paper.
The effect in liberalizing and enlarging
the mind of the young, of this weekly
commerce with the world, will be apparent
to any who will ponder ou it. Once, a
liberal education couid only be completed
by foreign travel. The sons only of the
wealthy could indulge in this costly bene
fit. 15ut now the poor man's son cau learn
as much at home by journeying the world
over. For, while there are some advan
tages in going into the world, it is the poor
man s privilege to have the world come to
see him. The newspaper is a great collec
tor, a great traveler, a great lecturer It
is the common people's Encyclopedia the
lyeeum, the college.
Erg,. Every drop of milk should be
drained from the udder at each milking
for two reasons, that the last pint taken
from the cow will make more butter than
the first quart, and that the cows will af
terwards fail to give just as much milk
as is left iu the udder.
An editor who thinks himself very
snurt, says in his columns, that he never
Imds himselt to party hacks. YV e pre-
t
sumc he preters seuiDg.
jfe?- There is a man at Oxford who
lives so fast that he is now absolutely older
thaa his father.
ISO. 25.
WIT AND WISDOM
Fame is like an eel rather hard
to catch, and a good deal harder to hold-
ome joker calls Hollowav an.l
Drandreth the pillars of the medical pro
fession. Ki-A Mr. Lyon declined fiVl.iinrr
duel and was called a dog, but a live do"
is better than a dead Lvon.
S2f If corns were heredifarv. ih
might properly
achcrs.
be called patrimonial
Gray hairs, like honest fi r!end-5 nra
oiieu cast irolu us lor tellim
truths. c
, p. . v ' , ... :
unpleasant
1ST When a man has no design but tn
speak the truth, he may say a great deal
iu a very narrow compass.
t5l A philosopher being asked whnt
was the first thing necessary toward win
ning tue Jove oi a woman, answered "an
opportunity.
A watch-dog is said not. tn T.a en
large in the morning as at ni?ht. Lpmiwa
he is Jet out at night and taken in in tha
morning.
XKS"Yonr behavior is most singular,
sir, said a voun? ladv tr (rontlomn
who had just stolen a kiss. "If that is
all " said he. "T will soon tnalro if i-dnr-i! '
To ascertain whether vour wife ia
jealous, lace up another lady's shoes, and
let ner catch you at it 1 If that don't
make her round-shouldered, nothing will.
A popular writer says that a "wo
man should be won bv decrees." (W
tainly win first her ears and eyes, then
her heart, then her lips, and then her
hand.
EL. 3Irs. Smithers says the only vrvf
to prevent steamboat explosions is to make
the engineers bile their water on shore.
In her opinion, all the "busting" is dono
by cooking the steam on board.
SZtf A quizzical editor in Arkansas.
who rejoices in the rather quizzical nama
of Harry Hurry, says that "truth is gen
erally of slow progress." Probably it is
never in such a Hurry as he.
We always admire the answer of
the man who, when asked how old he was,
answered ; "Just forty years ; but if yoti
count by the fun I've seen, I am at least
eighty."
tST" Now-a-days popularity is to see
your name posted up in large type on a
fence. Somebody will inquire as to who
you are and when the hrst rain cornea
you will disappear.
B5X,A Kentucky editor owns up to
having eaten a beet that measured sixteen
inches in circumference, and weighed two
and a half pounds. His capacity is hard
to beat. He d be the ruin of avegetariaa
society.
e3 Sabbath school Teacher "Why
was it that the angels in Jacob's dream,
having wings, were seen ascending aud de
scending from heaven on a ladder?"
"Scholar, hesitatingly "I guess the
were moulting and couldn't flyr."
"Well," said Mrs. Partington, 33
she throwed down her newspaper in dis
gust, "i do think they ought to have mads
Mr. Sherman siieaker without any talk.
It those fellows only knew what a heap of
good his lozenges had done, it would niova
their bowels oi compassion
The Reason :
They tell me I am handsome yet,
And ell the ladies say :
'-Do look at him 1 the dear old man
Grows younger every day."
And when each friend asks, "At your Ca
How came you free from ills?"
I always answer, ''In my youth,
I paid my Printers' Bills l"
tr- A little boy made a stool, no two
of the legs of which were of a length.
While trying iu vain to make it stand on
the floor, he looked into his mother's face
and asked : "Does God see everything?"
"Yes, my child." "Well," replied the
son, "I guess He will laugh when He sees
this stool."
JE2 "How do you like the character of
St. Paul?" asked a parson of his landlady
oue day, during a conversation about tho
old eaints and the apostles. "Ah 1 he
was a good, clever old soul, I know; for
he once said, you know, that we must eat
what is set before us, and ask no questions
for conscience' sake. I always thought
I'd like him for a boarder."
jfca?" Sully, the painter, was a man dis
tinguished for refinement of manners, as
well as his success in art. At a party,
one evening, Sully was speaking of a bcllo,
who was a great favorite.
"Ah," says Sully, "she has a mouth
like an elephant."
"Oh, oh ! Mr. Sully, how can you bo eo
rude?"
"llude, ladies ! what do you mean? I
say she' got month like an elephant be
i eftne it's fall of irory."
that haTC always been mj pnue, tro au
. VU"'
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