' '
BOLSIGER Si UTTCIIIXSOX,
VOL. 1.
"ALLEGHANi&N" DIRECTORY.
list or post orrscts.
rott Oplces.
Bonn's C'reoii,
Utfth:-; Sutioa,
Orrolltoiva,
Oosi .-.prin-js,
Cbt-aajur,;.
fallen i'iiuber,
t'...!liuin,
(.m-u Council,
Hvinlojk,
Ju!intuva,
L r-uo,
Miiierul Point,
iV Masters. Districts.
Joseph Graham, Voder.
Joseph .S M.irdis, lilac klick.
Deajarnia U'irtncr, Carroll.
Duul. L:tzin0'er, Cheat.
John J. Troxell, AV
M. C. M'Caguc,
Isaac Thompson,
J. M. Christy,
Joseph Gill.
"Vn. MGcugh,
II. A. Loggs,
:a. Gwiuj,
E. Wissinjcr,
A. Durbin,
Francis Clement,
Andrew J. Ferral
G. V. Dowm in,
Joseph .Mover,
Georg.; Cour.i-1,
R. M Colgan,
Kbensburg.
White.
Gallitzia.
Chest.
Washt'n.
Jounst'wn.
Loretto.
Couem'gh.
JIunster.
Conem'gh.
Sasq'han.
White.
Clcarl:-:i.
Richland.
Washt'n.
Crovle.
Washt'n.
S'umierhill.
f iljuiter,
l'Uluvilie,
Kj.ii'Uad,
ft. A a j tine,
.S:.ii; L.-vvl,
.mm in,
i: i.il::U-rhill,
ua:u;t,
Wilaiure,
in. .Murrav
M:si M. G
iej;it
Andrew Reck,
(III RCIICS, MIXISTCRS, &c.
r.-es'iiierian Rev. D. Harbison, Pastor.
Pre.iohiu.j every Sabbath morning at 10
iio.'k. and ia the evening at - o'clock. Sab
U:u S uojI at I o'oijck, 1. M. Prayer meet
ev ry Thursday evening at G o'clock.
M-'.'io list E:HSc Church Rev. J. Ssi.vxf,
i': .iciier ia charge. Rev J. M. SiMTH, As
:juat. Preaching every Sabbath, alternately
ut I'.'i o'clock ia tht morning, or 7 in the
.--;:;in. Sabbath School at v o'clock, A. M.
l'.-.ier meeting every Thursday evening at 7
tt'.Vi Independent Rev. Li. R. Powell,
:':s: r. Preaching every Sabbath morning at
'.i o'clock, and ia the evening nt 0 o'clock,
ivjbath School at 1 o'clock, P. M. I'raytr
a.-ct'.iij; oa the Grit MouJ.iy evening of each
k.:'i ; an 1 o:l e v-.ry Taeiliy, Thursday
i t n lay evening, excepting the Grat week
;a c:u-h in jath.
0.'.;.-.:'j i Methods: Rsv. Jons Williams.
as.jr. Preaching every Sabbath cveuir.cr at
L 1 0 O C.OCli.
Sabbath Schoo
r.l 10 o'clock.
IA. II. Praver iaje,.in everv Friday
evening
cveuing
T o'clock. So-.:ietv every Tuesday
ff.t . u clock.
'u.-iyUs Rav. W'y. Li.oyu, Pastor Prcach-
:!T ev.-i ,- abbat.i iuoru:u at 10 o'clock.
'articular Hipiists Rev. D.vvio Jk.vkins,
.-.v. r. I'roacLiug every Sabbath e vening at
o'.-lj k. S ibbatii School at 1 o'clock, P. M.
:.;'.: Rsv. M. J. Mit;-:isll, Pastor.
':"; ' ''I everv S ibbath morning at 10S o'clock
"Zl V.ieri ut o'clock ia ta eveaiajr.
MAILS ARRIVE.
at o'clock, A. M.
ut 12V " A. M.
MAILS CLOSE?
, -i 0 o'clock, A. M.
at iA " A.M.
itrra, dai!
:-.-t!
ra, ij.
T!l.
(tf'L. The M.i:1.4 from Butler, Indiana-. Srror.tfs-ii-
arrive on Tuesday and i'ridr.y of
i-a w?ek. at 5 o'clock, P. M.
I L-mv.; Kicn b:ir.j on Mo:ida3 and Thars
C i. . ai 7 i.'i liirli. A. M.
i u p .u.i;;s iruci cwiuaas .u:;:'. ar
Iltown. tec, arrive ou 'londay and Friday of
1 ii .. k, ut 3 o'clock, P. M.
hv.i.f; K'oonal.urg on Tuesdays aad Satur-
ai 7 o'i ;-ck, A. M.
L-J' Pi-,t Oiiiee onn oa Sunday1 frcm 0
' !u o'clock, A. M.
RAILROAD scsjs:!3"i.r:.
VriLMORi: STATION".
tst Express Traia, leaves at
Ma'ii Tr.tla. "
9.45 A. M.
P. M.
8.111 P. M.
10.00 A. M.
6.30 A. M.
ft Express Train, "
Mail Train,
' Fast Line, "
COl.VTl (JI-rtt'ERt).
Jjlj'j of the L'-urtx. President, Hon. Geo.
-'! -r, Iluutinjrdo.i : Associates, CcorceW.
Richuid Jonc-3, Jr.
I'rotLonotnry. Joseph M Donald.
CUrk to J'rothonntury. Robert A. M'Coy.
l''.;tter and liecorder. Michael Hafson."
b'nutij Rtjistcr and Recorder. Joan Scaa-
..riVr. Robert I. Linton.
b-pHtt X.'ierijr. George C. K. Zahm.
J-s:tct Attorney. Theophilus L. IIeer.
C"untif Commissioners. John Rearer, AIel
" v 1. David T. Storm.
Cit rk to C'jmmissiomrs. George C. K. Zahm.
-unicl to Commissioner. John S. Rhey.
rts.suri.r. George J. Rodjrers.
J'or H.tuse lKreclors. William Palmer,
f id 0 ll.irro. Michael M'Guire.
I'nr limitz Treasurer. George C. K. Zahm.
J'-'or Juttig Steward. James J. Kaylor.
-t rr.tntile .l.riW. Tliomaj M'Connell.
i -l'i.or.Recs J. Lioyd, Daniel Cobaugh,
fA:iry Ha-.vk.
c ..antii Surveyor. Henry Scanlan.
f'ro.icr. Peter Dougherty.
's prri:Uendznt of Common School. S. R
Curmick.
KK.sm:iiG Boa. officers.
Justiet the reace. David II. Roberts.
Prison Kiukead.
huriets. John D. Ilu'hcs
Tun-n Council. Andrew LewU .Tw1,,. n
'nt-.li, David Luwis, Richard Jones, Jr., M.
CL'rk to
j . ----.ill o . 1tl 13 fc I w I - . .
l Directors. M. f!. VPa-'ue.
A. A.
Lloyd,
r'f, Thoaias M. Jones. Ifpf-sp R
lward Glass vm.... n..v.;
Tre-teurer e.f firhnnl rtnnr.1 Fmn -r-...
UjMW.Gcure Gurley.
Collector Cu.ir.ro (:."..-!..
A ' n -
!ctor Tiio..i,l t n....:a
. - . . ... iu 4.
"a. of i;i,rti. n..,.:. t
Jones.
Robtrs. DnUl
0.
k. i c mm t i w - '
l bbLfcCT POETRY. I
llcaufiful Stu2us.
Leaf by leaf the roses fall,
Drop by drop the springs run diy;
One by cue, beyond recall, '
Sua-mer beauties fade and die;
Rut the roses will Llooia again,
And the spring will gush anew,
Ia the pleasant April rain
And the Summer sua and dew.
So in the hours of deepest "loom
When the springs of gladness fail.
And the roses in the bloom.
Droop like maidens wan and pale,
We shall find some hope that lies
Like a silent gem apart,
Hidden far from careless eyes,
In the garden of the heart.
Some sweet hope to gladness wed,
That will spring afresh and new,
When griefs winter shall have lied,
Giving place to rain and dew
Some sweet hope that breathes of spring
Through the weary, weary time
Uuddiug for its blossoming,
In the tpirit's glorious clime.
SELECT MISCELLAKY.
An Adventure in SIsc t'ai
s.
There were Svo of us yes, five as hap
py fellows as were ever let loose from col
lege. It was vacation, and we concluded
to take a trip to the Falls. We got aboard
tha cars at ' , and were soou traveiiii"
very rapidly toward uur destination.
We had just seated ourselves, and rre-
V.nv, 4"... X .11 7
l'"ltu 'ui a coiuiortuoie smoke, when
in
came the conuuetor. and whn shf.nl. I if
hat our old friend Fred B . Al'ff-r
common salutations '-How
are you, old
tOi !,-..' ' r 1... I . , 1. .
"" uau passeu, rreu saia
7 1
ie
iiau some business lor us to aUeud to.
"Out with it, old chum," said we ; "any-
thin. .it ..!! 1..-. , a i i 1 -
"o " acei'.'iauie : so lets
have it."
"Well, boys," said Fred, ia a very con
fidential tone, "in that next car there is as
hivin" a pair as it was ever my lot tof.ee.
'ihey are going down to II to get mar
ried, and now if you can have any fun
over it, ju.vt pitch in. 1 hey must be cared
for, and I don't know who can ds it better
th:n you."
In a moment Fred was gone, and we set
our heads together to form a plan for 'ta
king cure of the lowers.'
"1 have it, boys,' j.
must Liake the girl
iid Dill h'cevers, '
think her lover
we
is
a married
"'i hat's it, Dill, that's it." said
v.e, not
jiiiii linn i.uie 10 uuisu me sentence.
"'that he is a married man, and the
father of children," said Bill.
'that's the game, boys; now let us play
It devolved upon me to commence op
erations. Accordingly, 1 entered the car
in which we were informed the lovers
were. Sure enough, there they were.
1 he girl, thinking, I suppose, that she
mu.--t give her lover all the seat, had taken
a seat on his knees ; and he, for the purpose-
of protecting her, ot course, had
thrown his arm around her waist; and so
they sat, in real soft lovers' style.
All this 1 gathered at a gLnce. Step
ping up to them, I said :
"Why, J ones, what in the deuce are you
doing with this girl!"'
'1 he girl arose hastily, and seated her
self on the seat.
ce here, stranger,.' said the fellow,
"you re a nute mistaken; my name ain't
Jones ; it's Harper. It never was Jones;
'tain't a goin' to be, nuther."
I merely shook my head, and passed cn
to another seat to sec the rest of the fun.
The irirl looked 'wild' alter 1 sat down :
but Jones uit'as Harper soon convinced her
that I was mistaken.
About the time they got to feeling right
well, in came Elliot Urcgg. Walking
to Harper, he accosted him with :
up
" H by, J ones, you here '! How did you
leave -your wife and babies V
"Now, see here, stranger, you ain't the
fust man that's called me Jones to-day, an'
1 reckon I must look awfully like him ;
but I ain't Jones, an' more'ii that, you
mustn't call ine Jones. I'hain't got a
wife, nor babies cither; but this ere gal
an' me is goin' to splice, an' then you can
talk about my wife, and I wouldn't won
der but what, in the course of time, you
might talk about the babies, too ; but you
mustn't call me Jones !"
This retort brought forth vociferous
laughter from the spectators, and it also
brought blushes to the face of the 'gal as
was goin' to be spliced.'
"Ah, Joucs," said Gregg, "you will re
gret this in the future. 1 inty your wife
and children, and this poor girl."
"So, Mr. Iiarper, your real name i.
Jones, is it ? an' you've been foolin' uic,
hre you ? Well, ve ain't spliced yet,
an I don't think we will be soon," saM
- i
I WOULD RATHER BE RIGIIT THAN' PRESIDENT Hesby
PA., THURSDAY, DECEMBER 8, 1859.
me jnri. and her fli. i
"Jane, Jane." said 1 Timor J.
- ' - jv.. iu.ii UilslieU Hie.
know I ia Bill Harpc, ? Thar ain't a drop
. Miouu in me, an i il prove it.
Afc fill's innmnnl T .. V T . - I. -1-.-H
-... w.,.L u cil UUCKSOII. Jilll
ersana Jim lscvors Piitr,i
their attention
J .-V .VV4, tlllt jl L'UU
i , u . ""'i'11 u.v "i
lOUU talklllir- ThCV sto-.Tr-fl nn S, !,;,
au i saia :
''Why, Jones, what is all this
about '!"
fuss
i h:s was more than Harper could stand
ne ieapea upon a seat.
,";ow" he, "my name isn't Jones,
an T f:m Vml- tt. !... . -
... iuv. unci mat. says it is.
33y this time we had got to II , and
our friend Fred came into the car and
xuaue iiarper keep qmet. She girl that
wouldn't be 'spliced' requested Vrcd to
neip ueron the train that was goiiv buck
to -S , winch he did.
nd the notorious
Jones uL'aa Harper followed her.
t.e learned atierward that he proved
himself to be Uill Harper instead of Hill
1r i . .
j ones, and lie and his gal got 'spliced.
A Gkokoia Wedding. The preacher
was prevented Irorn taking his part in the
ceremony, and a newly elected Justice of
tne J eaee, who chanced to be present, was
. .11,-..l . rr. a . - , - . . '
on iv oiiiciaie in i:',s stead. The
good man's knees began to tremble, for
he had never tied the knot, and did not
Know where to begin, lie had no ioor
gia Justice, or any other book, from which
10 read tne marriage service. The com
pany was arranged in a semi-eircle, each
bearing a tallow candle. He thou-ht of
every thing he had ever learned, even to
"Ihirty days hath September,
April, June and November,"
but all in vain, he could recollect nothin
iliat suitco. the occasion. A sunr.rosm-d
titter
11 . . . ii
u over ti:o room admoni. h.l l.m,
in an agony of desperation he be-an :
"ivnow all men by these presents, that
A
,,: !,?? JF "P to the
ltl CUi..c.r OI iac
room
wit' heard to sv
ie is drawin-' a deed fnr
trrtot. r-f
land, and they laughed.
"fn the name of God. Amen !" ho ho.
i ... . . -
gan, only to hear another, in a loud whis
per, say
"He is making his will; I thouirht he
could not live long, he looks powerfully
U.1M.
"Now I lny me down to slee'i
I pray "
.1
was tne next essay, when some erudite
gentleman remarked :
"He is not dead but slerpeth."
"Oh, yes," continued tho' Squire.
A voice replied :
"Oii, no ! oh, no ! don't let's."
Some person out of doors sung out-
vii,- luw wun. auu me laugiiter was
general.
ie bnue was near faintim tho fs.
w;
'.s not tar Irom it
0 tMuiii;
out tioitg an mdelati-
gable man, he berran
in :
"To all and sin
uiar the sher "
"Let's run, he's
s going to levy on us,"
said two or three at onro
Here a gleam of light flashed across the
'Squire's l'aee ; be ordered the bride and
groom to hold up their hands, and in a
solemn voice said :
"Vou, and each of you do solemnly
swear, in the presence of the present com
pany, that you will perform toward each
other and all singular, the functions of
husband and wife, as the case maybe, to
the best of your knowledge and ability,
so help j-ouGod."
"Good as wheat!" exclaimed the father
of the bride.
Lacek limn. A lager story which is
going the rounds of the papers, the point
of which is, that the Dutchman "forgot
to take the soap out of the mug when he
shaved himself last," not long since in
"Camptown " We found ourse'f up-town
one evening, and dropped in at the
1 lose House, to see a friend, who is a mem
ber of that company. We chatted awhile
upon our adventures in attending the
Drooklyn celebration, when he remarked,
"I am very dry ; supjose we get some la
ger." Nothing loath, we adjourned to a
little crib iu the neighborhood, and called
for "swi beer." Our engineer while drink
ing felt something bobbing against his
nose, and upon fishing for the cause, drew
out a small object of a cylindrical shape
and perfectly white. "What the d i's
that : lie exclaimed, with a very percep
tible grimace. "Dat V replied the Dutch
man "Oh, donder and blixen ! I vas
using dat mug shust ein little vile lor a
candlestick, and forgot to take him out!"
Engineer made one lunge for DeuLsch
cr, who dodged him, and another for the
door, outside of which he lodged lager and
supper. lie drank nearly twenty glasses
of lager at other places that night "to
take that infernal tallowy taste out of his
mouth j" but ho looked in the mugs ov
ery time I
Clay.
A A'ovcl in Four Chapters.
CIIAPTtR I.
Ill a beautiful log cabin in the moun
tains of Old Virgiuia, our tale opens.
Around, nature's wild loveliness was sub-
'ony iict-o nuii oat, tneirjrreeu
Iriivnn n,.ri;.r.t:n, l-i ,
cau-nt the gray mi-sts of the inoriiiiijr.s,
and pressed them to their rough bosoius'
until they melted
ed in tears uirainst thoir
C5
sides.
maiden was sittin"- bv
table
combing her hair with a Cue-tooth
conilj a manly form enters the door nl
stealthily creeps up behind her and
CHAPTER IT.
"Ah, John !" exclaimed the lovelv
heiress of that beautiful cabin, and the
extensive potato-patch behind it.
oughtn't to do that way 1"
".uay it all on my love, gal."
"Love ! There's uo such thing as love
among folks !
'The turkle dove
Only knows of love ;'
as the poet sings."
"Then you dou't iove me ?"
"Xo I"
"Xo. Jane, call biK:k that word."
"Jso ! oh, no? Come back ho
'Twow't come. John 't frmi "
"Then I'm gone, too!" and tho imn.i.
si.mcd youth rushed from the lovely cabin
like
a uiaiiiac.
CHAPTER Iir.
Sadly did the younjr man iun alonth
road, while the girl, firm and submissive
in the discharge of her duty, proceeded to
fry some ouions for dinner. Meauwhile
the youth rushed madly on. the burning
leveroi nis Heart maddening his hm n.
1' 1 1 I . ' O
and he thought of self destruc tion. Jerk-
in- his inicl
vainly did he
Micket-eomb from his pocket.
attempt to cut his throat.
I :iflTI-f V. m--.. l. 1 1.1 1 1 - ,
tough skin,, which proved" too strong fo'r
nim vut Uc was not t , .,1,,,
in thtti
way he rushed to a wagon rut, where the
water was at least two inches deen.
hung himsclt mto, or rather upon it
Tb t l . .
mere ne lay lor lull five seconds, wh.-n
Harry Cleft, the father of the
. - - - o---j t
CHAPTER IV.
He
o--. i i .
j'jn uniuuie'i ins sau Ttio tn iu
irieiui. ana nn.-ii v onnontoii t. it,.
Harry would give him a chew of tobacco.
' ' ' I ' 1 11
lie returned to the house, and in hi
haggard countenance, Jane saw his u;
nanny condition. I fr n-,-.,- r,f 1,
. m. ...v. j-,"" ItlCI .
ihout twenty years after, he fell from a
wagon and Ins neck was broken, for the
shciilT had thoughtlessly slipped a rope
over it.
r r n -r- - - c r C 4 V. ... il. -
oy the Koiuuns.
" -w
January, the first month, was so nnll.l
from Janus, an ancient King of Italy, who
was deified after his death, and derived
ii. .-iu i ne jjaiin v ora .Jmiiurms.
February: the second month, is r?rri-r..l
from the Latin word Februo. to r.nrilV
hence Februarius : fur ihs fi,
cionti .Romans offered up expiatory sacrifices
lor ine Pdi'liVlll-' or the tenr.I
' - - j -. .
II il - il " 1 . . . .11
x-iuicii, mo iiiiru montn. aneient i- tho i
ursL mosnii, is derived from the word .Mars,
ine ' irti iii v. :i i i
t3 .
iprn is so called Irom the Latin April-
ius, i. c, opening: because in this month
the vegetable world opens and buds forth.
May, the fifth month, is derived from
the Latin wordMujores, bo called by Hum
mus, in respect toward the Senators :
hence Alaies or May.
June, the sixth month, from the Latin
word .Junius, or the youngest of people.
July, the seventh mouth, is derived
from the Latin word Julius, and so named
in honor of J ulius Caesar.
August, the eighth month was so called
in honor of Augustus, by a decree of the
Roman Senate, A. D. S.
September, the ninth month, from the
Latin word Septem, or seven, being the
seventh from March.
October, the tenth month, from the
Latin word Octo, the eighth, hence Octo
ber.
November, the eleventh month, from
the Latin word Novem, nine; being the
ninth month from March.
December, the twelfth month from the
Latin of Decern, ten: so called because it
was tne tenth month from March, which
.
was anciently the manner of beginnin
tho year
An old divine, cautioning the cler
gy against engaging in violent controversy,
uses the following happy simile "If we
will be contending, let us contend like the
olive and the vine, who shall produce the
most and the best fruit; not like the aspen
and tne eira, which shall make the most t
B0ie m tna ma.
Yowngr 35cn.
There is no moral object so beautiful to
me a a conscientious young man I 1 watch
him as I do a star in the heavens : cloud,
inay be before him, but we know that his
light is behind then., and will beam a-ain;
the blaze of others' prosperity mayout
shmehmi, but wo know thai, though un
seen he illumines his true sphered He
resists temptation not without a strule
f..r ll.. ;., .. 4. i.i . '
,1UL virtue, out lie docs rei-t
and I coaqucr; he hears the sarcasm of the
profligate, and it stings him, for that is
the trial of virtue but he heals the wound
wim ins own pure touch; he heeds
not
ine waicmvord ot la?inon, if it 1
sin; th
the atiieist who says, not only in his
but with his lips. "There is no God "
us to
heart
COntrOlS illni not. tl.r l snna tl,. 1, 1 f
a creating ( Jod, and reverences it ;.t' a
preserving God, and rejoices in it. "Wo
man is sheltered by fond arms, ami guided
by loving counsel ; old aire is protected by
its experience, and manhood by itsstrcngth
but the young man stands amid the temp
tations of the world like a self-balanced
tower. Happy is he who seeks and gains
the prop and shelter of Christianity.
Onward, then, conscientious youth !
raise thy standard and nerve thys'elf for
yvMhiess. If God has given thee intellec
tual power, awaken it iu that cause; never
let it be said of thee, he helped to swell
tne tide of sin, by pouring his influence
into its channels. If thou art feeble in
mental strength, throw not that poor drop
into a polluted current, Awake, arise
young mari.' Assume the beautiful gar
ments of virtue ! It is easy, fearfully easy,
to sin; it is difficult to be pure and holy
1 ut on thy strength, then ; let thy thiva'-
iy oe aroused agaiust error let truth b
the lady of thy love defend her.
rotlTEXESS and Trctk. Many per
sons plead a love of truth as an apolo-y
for rough manners, as if truth were never
gentle and kind, but always harsh, morose,
and forbidding. Surely good manners
and a good conscience are no more incon
sistent with each other than beauty and
innocence, which are strikingly akin, and
always look the better for companionship,
lloughncss and honesty are indeed some
times found together in the same person,
but he is a poor judge of human nature
who takes ill-manners to be a gu.uantee of
probity cr character, or suspects a stranger
to be a rascal, because he has the mannTra
of a gentleman.
Some persons object to politeness that
its laniruacre is unnio.nniiK' :m,l f..kn if
. - IJUI
this is easilv answered. A li.. ; j i i
up in a phrase, but must exist, if at all i..
tne mind ot the speaker, l'olite lanua-e i.;
pleasant to theearandsoothinttiiehenrt
while rough words arc iust the reverse
and, if not produced of ill tenmcr. are
very apt to produce it. The plainest ol'
truths, let it be remembered, can be convey
ed in civil speech, while the most malig
nant of lies may find utterance, and often
do, in the language of the fish-market.
Short, rut to the IV. int. Win oh. 11
the drolierist, has, according to his own'
stories, a crood manv ad
hirly funny when 'he relates them. His
last ia nt ti (rm ru....l 1 v.i
...j. ...Livitv ci.um iu V.O! U1J1-
yv ... ....
uus. u no. 'in a tr im " .)
the cars was one of the real genus Yankee
Kinnin.r t hut i mi.nii . .
""""o mai, niau.ii'ii was a man to ne
talked to, tiie following conversation is re
ported to have taken place ;
"tjoiu ter i lumbus
"Yes." (Gruffly.)
''Goin' any farther V
"No."
"Goin' ter stop in Klumbus ?"
"Yes."
"Goin' ter see any friends there ?"
"No."
"Goin' to do enny kind of work tere?'
"Yes."
"(Join'
ter start business on ycr own
"No."
"What are yc goin' there for?"
"Going for seven 3-cars !"
The Yankee's curiosity was almost sat-
isfied.
S$S- A Traverse juror, named Ilersb-
berger, was fined ten dollars and sent to
jail for 24 hours, during the sitting of the
late Somerset county court, for 'ettinr .
l'ie Democrat politely expresses it "con-
derably inebriated" in other words.
111 W '
"r"nK
BSU Russel, the singer, was once sing
ing in a provincial town, the "Gambler
Wife," and having uttered the words.
"Hush! he comes not yet!
The clock strikes one !"
he struck the key to imitate the sudden
knell of the departed hour, when a rouoo.
tably dressed woman ejaculated, to theas-
tonichment of everybody, "NVould not I
hT tetobed him horn V
ri'BLISEIERS.
NO. 10.
WITAHD WISDOM.
Who conaers iudoleucc will con
quer all the rest.
ESa- Marriage,
like fiddling, depends a
crei
deal upon
y".o entertainment is so cheap
&3
read
:ng, nor any pleasure so lasting.
Do not believe a man Is contempti
ble because he is quiet and unobtrusive.
VQ-Learn to practice self-denial when
it will promote the happiness of others.
''Union is not always etrenghth,"
u.5 the sailor said when be saw the purser
mixing bis rum with water.
CQ- "Clara, my dear, wh.-.t a beautiful
sky ; how I admire it." "Yes, Charley,
I sometimes wih I was a sky."
CsS" It is the opinion of a western edi
tor that wood goes further when left out
of doors that when well housed.
E53ft-Thc 1 ! ih of January, on aa aver
age of years, is the coldest day in the
year.
rjaJ Half a raw potato dipped ia brick
dust will, it is said, have an excellent ef
fect in brightening knives.
fitS The politician who got out of
breath running for an office, has purchased
a pair of bellows and proposes to run
CCS. "What are you fencing that pas
ture for ? Forty acres of it would starve
a cow." "Certainly, and so I am fencing
it in to keep my cows out."
fciT" We can console ourselves for not
having great talents, as we couso!:
our
We selves fbr not having great places.
can be above
both in our hearts.
The age of a young lady is now
expressed according to the present style
of skiits by siiying that "eighteen springs
have passed over her head."
EPS, A housemaid in the country boast
ing ot her industrious lnbits, said on a
certain occasion she arose at four, made a
fire, put on a teakettle, prepared breakfa.,
and "made up all the beds," before a sin
gle soul was uj in thi house.
" Arc those pure Canaries," asked
a gentleman of a bird dealer, with whom
he- was negotiating for a "gift for his fair."
"Yes, sir," said the dealer confidentially.
"I raised them're birds myself from ca-
uary seed.
Cc3 The most
man in tho
world is a Freuchmau in a
pxssion "ijy
gar, you call my vife a woman
two three
several times once more, an 1 vul call
3'ou the vatch ous?, aud blow out your
brains like a caudle."
A spirited woman, in a highly re
spectable family in Daltimore, caught her
husband in the act of breaking up her
hoops. The exertion or something else
had a singular effect upon him. His hair
came out at an a.-tonishina rate.
XUiS" The first intance of witchcraft
known in New England occurred in Con
uccticut, where Mary Johnson was execu
ted at Hartford, early iu the year 1047.
Witches were hung in Kngland twenty
pine years after the illusive error was over
in this country.
EGi, This Gallic expressiou, hors au
combiil, so prominently brought to tho
readers' attention at the present tirae, in
cludes all who, being neither killed nor
wounded, are yet puc out of tJie battle
used up, done for, or otherwise incapacita
ted for further hostile eHort.
JDS" The other day Mrs. Snipkins being
unwell, sent for a medical man, and de
clared that she was poisoned, and that Mr
Snipkins did it. "1 didu't do it," shouted
Snipkins. "It's all gammon ; slie inrt
poisoned. Drove it, doctor open her oa
the spot I'm willing."
si;"A person said iu our hearing the
other day, that editors, for the most part,
were a pale, thin-faced set. A lad stand
ing near, made this witty observation to
his chum: "There, Dob, I told you I
had ofteu read about the editorial 'corp
ses.' "
JSsSAn Irish Jack Ketch, upon askinsj
a criminal on the point of execution, for
the accustomed fee of his oince, received
something more than the usual sum. on
which he exclaimed, in thankful glee,
"Long life and good luck to yer honor,"
and instantly let the drop fall.
CSX. An Arkansas editor has been get
ting married recently, and goes off in tho
following enthusiastic style:
There is not in this wide world a happier life.,
Than to sit by tho stovepipe and tickle your
wife;
Taste the sweets of her lips ia & moment of
glee,
And twist th wt' til M h jnmpi en joir
1
I
V
f ;
v- -
li
r :
i, ',
X
ir