K w w 111 U tti
dolsixcier & nmrcnixsox,
""ai-meb JIB RIGHT THAX PRESIDENT. FIs.nhv Clat.
YOL. 1.
THE ALLECHAXIAV
TCT11'1' be Pu Wished every Thursday, at
I I iuv iviiuniuj,' i ultra, VIZ ;
lYr annum. fnavuhlA in uiirnnni
li not paid within the first six months, 1.75
If not paid until the expiration of year, 2.00
A failure to notify a discontinuance at the
vimmuu ui mc lerm suDscribed tor will be
TERMS OF ADVERTISING:
1 insertion. 2 do. 3 do
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2 squares, i'-U lines, 1.00 1.50 2.00
3 squares, (30 linos,) 1.50 2.00 3 00
uer turee wccks ana lesstnan three months
or ...... . . . . . . . . c i . .. 9
j tvuis i'it square lur eva insertion.
3 months. 6 do. 12 do
e lines or less, 5,1.50 53.00 $5.00
1 s.j mire, (uinej, 2.50 4.50 9.00
x squares, iine3,) 4.00 7.00 12.00
3 M.piares, (3t lines,) COO 9.00 14.00
Haifa column, 10.00 12.00 20 00
One column, 13.00 22.00 35 00
Administrator s and Executor's Notices, 1.75
uuimiuuM ur Dusmess uarus, not ex-
cre.iintr a lines, witfi nntp r r nr.
fej" Advertisements not marked with the
" insLTiions aesirea, will be contin
ue! till forbidden, and charged according to
iLLEGHAHIAN" DIRECTORY.
CHURCHES, 3II.MSTEUS, &c.
Urrthyttrian Rev. D. Uarbiso.v, Pastor.
','"'' eery oaooatu morning at 10
0 oiocK, and in the evening at 6 o'clock. Sab
Uth School at 9 o'clock, A. M. Prayer meet-
1 t A I ...... T I. . . J . .
'" c,:'.' mursuuj evening at 7 o clock.
M-thudixt Episcopal Church Rbv. J. Shane,
Preacher in charge. Rev. Smith, As-
t.ui. rreacuing every sabbath, alternately
a: 10 o'clock in the morning, or 7 ia the
evening, sabbath School at 9 o'clock, A. M.
Prdvcr meeting every Thursday evening at 7
u dork.
Welch Independent Rev. Ll. R. Powell,
1 or. rreacning every Sabbath morning at
iv u km &, auu 10 me evening at 6 o clock.
hti!.ith School at 1 o'clock, P. M. Prayer
ujr-ang on me nrst .nonaay evening of each
month ; and on every Tuesday, Thursday
hq 1 r riaar evening, excepting the first week
ia each month.
Ctl-inittic M. thodit Rev. JoHX WlLLIAMS,
rnor. Preaching every Sabbath evening at
2 mid o'clock. Sabbath School at 1 O o'flriflc .
A. M. Prayer meeting every Friday evening
. u chick, nocieiy every luesuay evening
t o'clock.
lii'rifdt Rev.VTm.Lloyd, Pastor Preach-rv.-ry
Sabbath morning at 10 o'clock.
I'urticular Buptint Rev. David Jkskins,
Pn.ir. Preaching every Sabbath evening at
3 o'clock. Sabbath School at 1 o'clock. P. M.
CithoUr Rev. M. J. Mitchell, Pastor.
.-rr every sabbath morning at lOJo clock
and Vipers at 4 o'clock in the evening.
ERE.Sni'KG MAILS.
MAILS ARRIVE,
f-nstera, daily, at 1 1 J o'clock, A. M.
Wetcrn, at 11 " P f
MAILS CLOSE.
r.'Tn. daily, at 5 o'clock, P. M.
V etf-rn, at CJ " A. M.
?" The Mails from Butler.In.li.ina St
toa, kc, arrive on Tuesday and Friday of
ni K, at d o clock, 1. M.
Ltavc Ebcnsburg on Mondays and Thurs
!v. at 7 o'c lock, A. M.
B!i The Mails from Newman's Mill3, Gar
rolllown, 4c, arrive on Monday and Friday-of
f U week, at 3 o'clock, P. M.
I.'H-e Ebensburg on Tuesdays and Satur
!". at 7 o'clock, A. M.
6scT Post Office opea on Sundays from 9
lu o'clock, A. M.
RAILROAD SCHEDULE.
WII.MORF. STATinv
Express Train, leaves at
9.ia A. M.
7.48 P. M.
12.2C P. M.
6.28 A. M.
8.02 P. M.
Mail Train,
E?t Express Train,
" Mail Train,
" Fust Line,
tt
it
COIXTY OFFICERS.
Jwljtt of the Courfj.Prcsident, Hon. Geo.
Tuyjor, Huntingdoa ; Associates, George W.
Eis'.-y, Richard Jones, Jr.
l'ruthonotary. Joseph M'Donald.
F'yifter and Recorder. Michael llaasoa.
.S'WrVf. Robert P. Linton.
1'yut'j Sheriff. George C. K. Zahm.
J'it'rict Attorney. Theophilus L. lleyer.
Otunty Comrnixxionert. Thomas M Connell,
John lii-arer, Abel Lloyd.
Clerk to Commixiioiur. George C. K. Zahm.
Cuutttel to Commixtionert. John S. Rhcy.
Trnjtvrer. George J. Rodgers.
V;r Ilouxe JJirector. William Palmer,
iHnvi.l O Harro, Michael M'Guire.
l''j .r Houxe Treasurer. George C. K. Zabm.
j 'jut lioute Steward. James J. Kaylor.
V'reiHtilt Appraiter. Francis Tierney.
l'ior.Ree3 J. Lloyd, Daniel Cobaugh,
Ui-ury Hawk.
County Surveyor. ITenry Scanlan.
Coroner. Peter Dougherty.
Superintendent of Common School. 3. B.
lormick.
tMSnrRG IIOR. OFFICERS.
Juitice of the Peace. David II. Roberts,
'Wnson Kinkead.
''"jM.John D. Hnghes.
Town. Council. Andrew Lewis, Joshua D.
' rrith, David Lewis, Richard Jones. Jr.. M.
o. llarr.
W-t to Council. James C. Noon.
l'ir,jh Treaxurer.Georpe Gurley.
"yh Maxtert.Davli St Lloyd.
.vo JJirector: M. C. M Cague,
'irker, Thomas M. Jones, Reese S.
'award ;i. i ' t.
A. A.
Lloyd,
, 'annul Ultlll,
'rtaxnrtr of School Hoard. Evan Morgan.
"nxtable. (lrr
T Collector Gnorge Gurley.
r. Ricj,,Fd T Davis.
Ju,1,Jf 0f UcUun 1ftVjd J Jone9
,,r,Uai.l H. Robert,, E
Daniel O.
EBENSBURG, PA., THURSDAY. SEPTEMBER 29, 1859.
HUMOROUS POETRY.
From the California Golden Era.
Some Verses to Snaix.
Prodiggus reptile! lonr and skalir Vnco i
You are the dadrattedest biggest thing I ever
loai cua ty itself into a double bo
Not, and cum all strate again in a
Minnit or so, without winkin or seemia
To experience any particular pane
Ia the diafram.
Stoopenjus insect ! marvelous annimilo !
You are no doubt seven thousand years
Old, and hav a considerable of a
Family sneeking round thru the tall
Gras in Africa, a eetia up little greesy
Niggers, and a wishin they was bigger.
Yu are the same miserable devvle,
I'll bet, that put redicklus noshuns
Into the head of Eve, or his uukle, I,
Don't no which.
I wonder how b!g yu was when vn
Was a inphant about 2 fete long? I
txpec ya was a purty good size, and
Lived on phrogs, and liz&eds, and polly
Wegs and sutch things.
Yu are havin a nice time now, ennyhow
Don't have nothin to do but lay oph
And ete kats and rabbits, and 8 tic
Out your tung and twist your tale.
I wunder if yu ever swollered a man
ithout takia oph has butes. If there was
Brass buttons on his kote, I epose
Yu had ter swallower a lot of buttin
Wboles, and a shtl-hamer to nock
The soals oph the boots and drive In
Ihe tax, so that they wouldn't kut yure
Stummick. I wunder if tittles taste
Good all the way down. I expece so
At least, fur 6 or 7 fete.
You are so mighty long, I shud thynk
If your tale was kold, yure bed
Woodent no it till next day.
w
But its hard to tell; snaix is enaLx.
PERSONAL.
From the Central Pbkss.
Hon. Andrew G. Curtln.
Localities are celebrated most for the
kind of men they produce. National ad
vantages are prized as thev are developed,
and in all communities, for long series of
years, there seems to be a hereditary su
periority in the abilities and usefulness oi
individuals, which do not recognize char
ters for jrreatness, or ask a patent to
achieve renown. The great men of Penn
sylvania, descending through a long line,
not connected by the ties of consanguin
ity ; but preserving au affiliation in use
fulness and ambition, have appeared in
different localities, and have given to each
locality in turn a celebrity which went to
increase the fame and enhance the dignity
of the whole Commonwealth. It ia this
fact, first jnvin": a local character to a man
and then allowing his usefulness to gain
for him a reputation abroad, that really
constitutes a great man. It was this that
made the elder Burnside bo famous in
his day. He had a reputation at home,
won a great fame abroad, and has immor
talized his name in the J udicial history
of the State. It was this fact also that
yielded its influence to embalm the name
oi IiCSTON, ana maKe nis cnaracier even
now a rich examble for the emulation of
men in all classes of society. These men
and their cotemporaries created a name
for their locality, and threw around it the
fame that it now possesses. That fame is
to be enjoyed by those who inherited it.
And thus the glory, grandeur and useful
ness of communities, instead of decaying
with time, improves with years. Thus in
this age, generations mark their depar
ture, not by the destruction of the works
of men, but by the great improvement in
their progress, and the glorious promises
of that perfection which the future condi
tion of men is daily revealing.
We were led to these reflections by an
announcement which we made in the
Central. Press last week, of a resolution
passed by the Republican County Con
vention, nominating Andrew G. Curtin
for Governor. "With the mere political
movement we have nothing to do in the
man. this community has much invested,
and we but reiterate a fact when we as
sert that no man possesses a larger share
of public confidence and esteem at home,
than Andrew tf. ucrtin. ne is io me
manor born. In this locality his very
namo is a tower of strength and cither in
or out of politics, amid the exciting scenes
and contests of his profession or in the
reciprocity of the amenities and courtesies
of society, Col. Curtin commands the re
spect of his fellows, and never fails to win
the confidence of the people with whom he
comes in contact. There are always men
who seem to be born leaders, and he is one
of them. lie wins by intuition, as much
by the grace of his learning, as by the
nery zeal ot his nature. As a lawyer, he
.w-u, sagacious, ana when full engaged
m a cause, irresistible in his effort. In
his professional style, we can compare him
only to one man. and that ia himself
compliment which few lawyers deserve, if
we axe to taKe tne nost of miserable insti
tutions of great men that now fill the le
gal lista. Educated to the profession at
an early age, and graduating under the
best masters, we have known the most or
dinary men to succeed in business but
there is something more than mere bust
ness or personal success to be gained
sometning more than mere reputation,
something higher than the bauble of fame,
to be achieved in a contest with men. He
who strives alone for applause, will go
uown io me grave unsatisfied. A man
who labors alone to gather wealth, finds.
ia nis oia age, mat nc nas gathered innu
nierable sources of annovanccs around him
But the man who, while he struggles for
position, erects a platform broad and stron
enough tor his friends to stand upon, has
the satisfaction of witnossinir the food he
has accomplished, in the improvement of
inose arouna mm. Ana we do not desoend
to fulsome flattery in according this kind
of success to Andrew G. Curtin. There
are old men in this county who feel this
sentiment with more force than the one
1. :i j .i
wiiu uuw pens 11 ana mere are vounr?
men just entering on their careers of an
ticipated usefulness, who will acknowledge
the force of the example which wo have
adduced, and who would rally to his stan-
uara, in aisregard of party ties or political
oouirauons.
Will the People's Party nominate An
vn n r n ni .
kt. wuKTij i mis is a grave
question for an independent iournalLsli
out we nave a notion that he is the stron-
est man yet brought forward. He can
rally two elements, which no other man
in the State can command or control.
We allude to young men who are iust en
tering on politics, and that conservative
body of Old Line Whigs who retired from
politics with the disbanding of the Whig
party. This will be a powerful influence
in the next and many future political con
tests in Pennsylvania as well as the Union.
Joined to it, will be the conservative por-
non oi me democratic party, wuien will
never airain rally in a distinct organiza
tion with the present clique, whioh de
rives its power from Administration fa
vors, lhese elements, which now look
alone to the welfare of the State and Xa-
tiun, Col. Curtin can command at home.
and from what we know of the man, he
can command the same abroad. The Re
publican Convention must consider this
when they make their nominations. They
must reflect that hereafter the mero poli
tician cannot hope to impose himself on
the people, and that candidates for Exec
utive position must be recommended by
other than party devotion. Pennsylvania
has great interests, and the people are
bound to have them recognized by those
who aspire to their favor. She has influ
ence, and it must be wielded by a man
by one who has a knowledge of and a re
spect for her resources. Col. Curtin has
evinced this knowledge, and proven this
respect. While Secretary of State, during
Pollock s administration, he gave the
highest evidence of his Executive powers,
and we are not doing Gov. Pollock the
least injustice in asserting that the repu
tation which his administration earned for
for impartiality and vigor, was as much
owing to the energy of Col. Curtin as it
was to his own peculiar dignity and sou-
venance. xuvery man acquainted with the
Secretary's office, understands its multifa
rious duties and no man acquainted with
Col. Curtin, while occupying that posi
tion, will deny to him the highest admin
istrative abilities. His zeal and devotion
to the system of Common School Educa
tion, the present arrangement of which is ;
owing to his energies, and the condition
of which is as near perfection as possible.
None but a Statesman of enlarged views
could see the workings of such a system
through years. And none but a philan
thropist could wait for the slow success of
such a system for his reward. And this
reward will be only fully meted out when
the name of Andrew Greoq Curtin is
written over the door of every school-
house in the cities, towns, villages and
hamlets of the State of Pennsylvania.
Ave are justified in thus alluding to one
of the most eminent citizens of Centre
county. Ho is in the hands of his politi
cal friends, and the Convention which
will possess the nominating authority will
also have the power to discriminate be
tween him and other good men attached
to their organization. Rut as a political-
v disinterested observer of the signs of
the times, and looking forward to their
success, with hope only so far as that suc
cess will benefit the people, we earnestly
trust that Andrew G. Curtin may be
the People's candidate for Governor in
I SOU.
SELECT MISCELLANY.
Power of a Mother's JVanie.
It is hard for the most abandoned crim
inal to lorget a mothers love, or to be in
sensible to the memories of a pure and
i . . ......
nappy nonie in childhood. A writer in
the Time describes a visit to th Phil-i
delphia Penitentiary, in which he witnes
n tttX tt - c . r i x iL i ,
au ju lci view ueiween me waruen ana
young man about to enter on his impris
onment :
We passed on the ante-room ain.
where we encountered a new comer, who
ij.. ... . '
uaa juscreacnea the prison as we entered.
He had been sent up for five years on a
cnarge of embezzlement.
He was attired in the latest style of
V 1 , ..... r
iosnion, ana possessed all the iioncfuilcn.ee
and careless appearance of a erenteel row
dy. He twirled his watch-chain, looked
particularly knowing at a couple of ladies
wno cnanceu to be present, and seemed
utterly indifferent about himself or the
predicament he was placed in. The war
den read his commitment, and addressed
him with :
"Charles, I am sorry to see thee here."
"It can't be helped old fellow."
"What is thy age, Charles i"
"Twenty-three."
"A Philadelphian ?"
"Well, kinder, and kinder not."
"Thee has disgraced thyself sadly."
"Well, I ain't troubled, old Btick."
"Thee looks not like a rogue."
"Matter of opinion."
"Thee was well situated?"
"Yes, well enough."
"In good employ?"
"Well, so so."
"And thee has parents 7"
"Yes."
"Yorhaps thee has a mother, Charles?"
The convict had been standing during
the brief dialogue perfectly unconcerned
and reckless, until this last interrogatory
was put. Had a thunderbolt struck him.
he could not have fallen more suddenly
than he did when the name of " mother"
fell on his ear. He sank into a chair a
torrent of tears gushed from his eyes the
very fountain of his heart seemed to have
burst on the instant. He recovered par
tially, and said imploringly to the warden :
"Don't sir. for God's sake, don't call
her name in this dreadful place ! Do
what you may with me. but don't mention
that name to mc !"
There were tears in other eves brsirlft
the prisoner's, and an aching silence per
vaded the group which surrounded the
unfortunate convict.
The black cap was drawn over his eves.
He was led to an adjoining apartment and
stripped and shortly afterwards ho re-ap-pcarcd
on the corridor. He Dassed silent
ly in charge of a deputy keeper to a lone
ly cell in a distant part of the prison, the
door creaked on its hinges, he disappeared,
the chain from the outsids bolts and
Charles was a close prisoner for five years
to come.
A neighboring contemporary thus
meets his "devil's" importunities for copy:
"Copy ? You imp of darkness, have the
audacity to ask fur copy this hot weather?
Why, the thermometer stands at nino-
ty-cight in tho coolest place in tho coun
trJ here you are boring us for copy.
Leave, you black imp ! Get beyond the
reach of this paste-pot, or I'll make you
see " teach you , . some other
calling, or put a . to your satonic exist
ence. Copy! the very thought of so
much labor sends a throujrh our brain.
We wouldn't write a for a much less
for a $, as for a , oh, that's en-
tirely out of the ?. None
of
your
1 1 1 1
azincss we say it s hot! Ah! hold on
here's some giv's the scissors here's
a poor fellow in San Francisco committed
buicide, On Mc ulty sat on him be-rim-
stono ! what a job for a hot day never
mind, we'll appropriate that story, but
don't you give any credit for it. There,
now, take your tSfSSf out of your pock
ets and go to work. Put 6omc quoins
around that wash-woman's bill, and lock
up the elephant throw those types that
wero battered by the sheepsfoot into "hell,"
uu separate the pi put tne "Model Lady
on the gaily, (aX "The Dandy" in tho case
place furniture round the "New Hoard
ing House overrun the "Country
put all tho sub-heads in small caps get
"The Hay" to press hurry up "The New
Store" distribute "The Mormons." and
ay "Judge Cradlebaugh" one side he's
getting old. Justify that "Homicide
and prove the "Murder." You may tie
up the "1 ourth of July, the people don t
seem to want it this year. Then go and
jump in the creek and wash your tace
it 11 take it all to do it and at the same
time drive away the shark. And mind
you don't come here again for copy before
the next mail comes m.
Balky Horses Bat .KV Maktvii
farmer of an irascrible temper came
into possession of a very fine animal, of
most docile disposition. When the farm
er purchased him, he was highly pleased
with his bargain. For some weeks the
animal worked admirably; but as the
owner became accustomed to the brute, his
irritable temper would display itself, and
occasionally in his anger he would punish
him severely for the most trifling fault.
In a few months the animal became irrita
ble also, balky, and at times quite unrully.
The farmer, who could not see how much
injury he was doing himself, continued his
brutality. The result was as might be
expected a really valuable brute was
spoiled. He became nervous and dan
gerous. The farmer was in despair, and
would have been glad could he have found
a purchaser for him. A neighbor of the
farmer, who saw how he had maltreated
the beast, offered to accept him at the
owner's terms, which were not hard.
Now, mark the end. The new proprietor
was a man of kind but firm disposition.
He at once commenced treating the ani
mal as if he could be reached by reason.
The horse experiencing a difference be
tween his present and former treatment,
soon recovered his temper. He ceased to
fear and tremble at every one who ap
proached him, and in less time than it took
to spoil him, he was brought back to his
original docile disposition.
now it was Done. The name of the
man carried over Niagara on Blondin's
back is Harrv Molcard. He is BlrmHIn's
agent, and is every way a larger man
than Blondin, who is rather slender, and
and not tall. Molcard has not been accus
tomed to the rope, but he had such confi
den ce in Blondin that he resolved to ven
ture. When Blondin started on the re
turn he had tied on each side of his tbio-Iia
a semi-circular piece of iron ; th osr bii re
ported the legs of Molcard, and balanced
tUn -:,-Vt 4' 1," 1 3 T1.1" - 1
tut i;ii;ui ui uia uuuy. xionain saia
the cause of his stonninr so ofton nn Mg
r i o "
return was that the strap which held the
balancing pole, being covered with wool
en, rubbed the back of his neck and made
it very sore. He says he talked all the
time to Molcard when thev
rope, aud thus they cheered each other
on. There was a rope tied to the waist
of each, and it was cngnged that if either
fell, the other was to throw himself on the
opposite side of the rope.
What a Good Newspaper May Do.
Show us an intelligent family of boys
and girls, and we shall show you a family
where newspapers and periodicals are
plentiful. Nobody who has been without
these 6ilent private tutors can know their
educating power for good or evil. Have
you never thought of the innumerable
topics of discussion which they suggest at
the breakfast-table, the important public
measures with which, thus early, our chil
dren become familiarly acquainted ; great
philanthropic questions of the day. to
which unconsciously their attention is
awakened, and the general spirit of intel
ligence which is evoked by these quiet
visitors? Anything that makes home
pleasant, cheerful and chatty, thins the
haunts of vice, and the thousand and one
avenues of temptation, should certainly
be regarded, when we consider its influ
ence on the minds of the young, as a great
moral and social blessing. Emerson.
ToucniNC A few day ao, abright little
girl of probably three or four summers,
who reoently lost her father, came up to
Professor Wise, at tho Jones' House, and
8 aid :
" Mr. Wise, wont you take mo up with
you in your balloon?"
" hy do you want to go, my dear? re
plied the Professor.
" I want to see my papa, was the touch
ing response.
A tear was vissblo in the aeronaut a eye
as he assured her that it was impossible for
him to take her high enough to see her
papa. Lafayette JottmaL
New Paper. A French gontlcman,an
amateur in chemistry, has discovered a
new mode of making paper. It is simply
by boiling slices of wood with a certain
quantity of mineral and vegetable alkali.
It tho statement of the inventor may be
relied upon, who intends to.praetico his
method on a large scale, he can produce
from fifty-four kilogrammes of slices of
firewood, and five kilogrammes of alkali,
a ream of very large paper as white as
snow and as fine as silk.
Short and to the Point. A pretty
irl attended a ball, recently, decked off
in short dross and rants. The other la
dies were shocked. She quietly remark
ed that if they would pull up their dress
es about the neck, as they ought to be,
hcir. skirts wou,ld be as short as hers
NO. G.
WIT AND WISDOM.
BQA"There never came a hearty laugh,
From out a villain's throat,"
The most potent labor-saving ma
chine ia a large fortune left by youaunt.
X& A very good way to make eye-water
is to run your nose against a lamp-post.
A baker has invented a new kind
of yeast. It makes bread so light that a
pound of it weighs only four ounces.
M&" When does a man shave with a
silver razor ? When he cuts of his 'heirs'
with a shilling 1
JKsf- Betting is immoral ; but how can
the man who bets be worse than he who
is no better ?
SSL. Tho celebrated leaning tower of
Pisa is 315 feet high, and has an inclina
tion from the perpendicular of 12 feet.
C. A classic editor says, if the Naiads
were constantly bathing, he presumes
from their name, that the Dryads wero
the ones who brought the towels.
Don't expect to be called a good
fellow a momerit longer than you consent
to do precisey what other people wish
you to do.
fiCSu A punster at the point of death,
being advised to eat a piece of pullet, de
clined, saying he feared it might "lay on
his stomach."
SSI- The arms of a pretty girl, wound
tightly around your neck, is said to be an
infallible remedy in case of sore throat.
It beats "yarb-tea" all hollow.
The estimated force of gunpowder
when exploded, is at least 14,750 pounds
on every square inch of surface which con
fines it.
c3" In the United States there are six
thousand brokers and six thousand bar
bers, but the census does not tell which
class does the most ehavincr.
t?&- A yankee, who had just commen
ced the study of Italian, wants to know
how it is, if they have no "w" in that lan
guage, that "them chaps spells wagon ?
t Mr. Pescator keeps a tavern. The
only objection visitors have to Pescator is,
he is too clean. Before he cuts you a
piece of steak, he always licks the knife,
so as it may not have any taste of hant
and "them eggs."
JfcaT" Here is a little epigram which is as
neatly turned as a pretty girl's ankle :
"I saw him kiss your cheek; '"Tis true."
"Oh, modesty!" "'Twas 6trictly keat;
lie thought me asleep : at least I know,
lie thought I thought he thought I slept."
tgi. A Frenchman, soliciting relief,
said very gravely to his fair hearers :
"Ma'msellc, I nevar beg but dat I havo
von wife wid several small family, dat is
growing very large, and nossing to make
deir bread out of but the perspiration of
my own eye-brows."
t?3u An imaginative gentleman, speak
ing of the extreme heat of New Orleans,
stated that he saw a negro helping to dis
charge a vessel loaded with pig lead, but
before he could carry it on land, the lead
melted and ran all over him, so that ho
had to be dug out with a cold chisel !
J6ST" Two punsters being in company to
gether, one desired the other to make a
pun upon the following words di, do.
dura; when, upon a little consideration,
he produced the following :
"When Dido found JEnaa did not come,
fcne mourned in Silence, and was Lh-do-dum, "
(dumb.)
Jfcsjy An English cockney at the Falls
of Niagara, when asked how he liked the
Falls, replied : "They're 'andsome quite
so but they don't quite hanswer my hex
pectations ; besides, I got thoroughly vet
ted, and me at. I prefer to look at em
in a hingraving iu 'ot weather, and in the
ouse.
It appears that in New Zealand,
whon the marriage oercmony takes place,
it is a very old custom to knock the heads
of tho bride and bridegroom together pre
vious to their union :
In Christian lands it Isn't so;
The bridegoom and the bride
To logger-heads but seldom go
Until the knot is tied.
tm A gentleman thought he'd like
something painted in the hall of a new
house, and chose the Israelites passing
over the Red Sea. He engaged an Irish
man for the job, who went to work and
painted tho hall red. Gentleman enters.
"Nice color, II., but whore arc the Is
raelites 7"
"Oh, they've passod over !"
igy"This animal," said an itinerant
showman, "is the African hyena, measu
ring fourteen feet from the tip of his noso
to the end of his tail, and the same length
back again, making in all twenty-eight
feet. He cries in the woods ia the night
season like a human being in distress, and
then devours all who may come to his as
sistance a sad instance of the depravity
of hanvm nature."