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JACOB! a ISELCR; Pcbllsben. 7 '
.) in
TRUTH AND RIGHT GOD AND OUR COUNTRY.
Two Dollars per Annan in Adrancc.
V() r;.- XXX-loosnuira; '.. . ; -; BLOOM S lUIHG. COLUMBfA CO., PA., WEDNESDAY, JULY 4, 1866.
SEW 8 Ell ICS j V Q L 1.. NO- J 9r
V .::- rv fro' ':c?ix.'.';T. Jfo; VI .
w m m .
JI JLiLJLLI i N UiL LL JIILO
1
' -;i THE J'
DEMOCRAT iji'NDl'STAR', :
I'UBLTSTnCD EVEnY' WEDNESDAY,
-,L BLOOMSBURO, PA., BY
j AC O BY 26 IKELER.
t TEBMJ. Si rut in advance; ; If notpnJd till the
eB.f a entJditionl will b charged.
C7" Nonapr difienntinued until' all' arrearages
'.re paid except at the opr ton f Ibe editor. .
-T ."ATES OP; ADVEETISIXO. ' V j " V"'
"VvxiKrcomTmjTi a ibOAtc.
'.One tqnare 'Or three insertion ..V. .ft 50
trery nubaequent insertiir let man 13 50
arAcc. j i j 2 i , 3x. . 6m, It.
tone iquare,' .
", Two (inures,'
' Three .
Four Tntreo,
Half rol limit.
One colamn.
6.0(7 I 10 00
9,00 14 IK)
1 ",I0 f JH.DO
M.OUI 20 00
l 0( 30 00
Si) 00 f 50 00
3 Oo ' '3.o9 I .(K)'
3,00 " 7,C0 f P,50
6(0 ' '8.0 J in,"o
10 fH' 12 00 j 14 00
I.VoO MMJWIO
Eieeuior's and Administrator' Notice. 3.0t
Auditor's Notice Lk. ' J.i'..i.;.f-.... ..v ..2.i0
Other advertijementt iniertcd'accordinj to special
.eontra't ,
Huinr. amice. .without aJveriiiement, twenty,
certs Dcr line. - . , '
Transient '!vf rtimcnfs p.nyrtble in ad anee, allt
. 4tliert d-i U"r the 8rt insertion.
' C7" ufFlCF.-Ia tilJive's Block.' Corner of Main
tn4 Iron etrf-ts.
- . .Address,. JACOB Y A. IKELER.
. J . i rt!ormsbirj. Columoia County, Pa.
. NO SEC i' iri HEAVEN.
" 'Ti'wii f t1 tilf 1ateonf fr, "
' Of the vsri'wn tetrlne the tuints keliere,
"' That night I stooit in a trniikledrenm,1-
" "By the aide of a dnrkty flowtnr stream .
- And a MCburclima'n" down the ri-rcame.
When I beard a strmite voice entl his name -"Good
father, stup ; w hn you rmm litis title,
Yau Dsft leave yeu.'totea on ia utber side.'
Euttheage'd fahr fid ntt 'mind. " ' '
' And bis l ng gnw n flHt.'i! on l Uchinttl
! 7 1
' As down to'bc stream hi way h' took.
' Hi pala hands clashing a (ill edged book,
''I'm bodn'd for' heaven, and when1 I'm there. "
I shall want nir book of Common Pruyur;
Anl tbouiih I put oo a starry crown. '
I should feel quit lost without uiy gown,
i -
The) he fixed, bis eye on the bninc track, ,
Cut hi guwa was heavy, and helJ hiin back:, ,
, And th poor old f.ither tried in vaiu,., . , K
fi. aioglo flop iu thL.o4 to gain,,. ... , , , ..,
- t . i t ' '-. , ' '.,,,'! . n ' , .
I saw him again on the other side,.. . fr . .. ,
But hi silk gown floated on iha tide ;. . s
And no one asked in that hlisl'ul spot, .
Whether, he betu.ged t -Us Church" or not.
h- Thou dswi to tli pver a Quaker strayed, - --,
tile dress of sober hue an made;. : , : ,
"My cualaed hat must be all of .gray. . -, . .
1 caanot go any obr way.", , ; t
Then he buttoned hi coat straight ap to hi chin,
An staialy, solemnly, waded in.
And hi br-arf-hri wined bat ha pu'led down tight
Over hi forebea. so culd and white.
' But a stTfmg wind arried y h hat I
A moment be srtnitly sighed over that,
And then, as he pared to the farfner shore. v "- '
The coat slipped i ff. and- was seen no more ;
As he entered heaven, hi ult of gray
Went qaietly will or-atv.iy - way, i , 0 t
And fmne of the ansrU nuetiined hint , ( r ,
" About the wlutu of bis bcavr' briui. -. , j
Next eamf Dr! Watt with s handle of Psalm '
Tied nicely up in Lis ag'.-d a run.
And hymn a uai y, a very wise thine. "
.That the people iu heaven, ' ail round. might aing.
But I thought that he heeved an anxiou aigh, .
As he saw that he river ran b oarl and hish.
And looked.ralher auptised as, one by one,
- I hsPsalina andilyiuiis in the wave Went town.
And after him. with hi M?3' --.
Came Wealey, the pattern of godliness, : :
. But he cried. ulear we, wnal sballi do t
. The water has soaked tnein. through and through
. , ; . . -' . , : - . . . ,
And there on the iriver. fait and wid. " ; 't
'Away they wnl do n the. swollen tid, .
A ad the saint actnuished. passed through alone.
Without hi manuscripts, up to thi Uiroue.
Thn grarely walking, two sainta by name, . t .
'lowit to the stream tgetlier came,
But a they tppd at thoivef' brink,
. 1 saw on saiul irom Uie ollKr sbrjJik,. - , ,
" 'SprSniled or p.lunged. may I ak'yoo," friend,
. H"w y.ju atujnid tuiife' great end I"
', -Tks. with a fi:W dmpg on my brow.' ' ' '" '
'tut i Have been dipped, as you'll see me now.
"And I really thinK it wifl hardly do. ; '
Aa 1 in 'close comuiuulou' tocruse with yen ;
Vou're bound." 1 know, to the reutin c bliss.
But you must gi that, way, and 114 go this." i .
Thea tratfhtway plunjing with all bis might, .
. Away to the left hi fuead at the rig at, . .
Apart the went from ilu world of-ii,
But at last together they entered in.
! 7 i v '- ' T
And bow, when the river wa rolliigon, t. -:
-A rresbyti-rancbarettweM doww
Of women there seemed a innunrerable throng,
Hut the men t could count as tbey passnd along
... vr v t : . i
i, And coaacerninv the road, they could never agree.
The d or the maw way. which it could be, i
tint ever a moment patved to tbina
That both wuuld read to the river' briak, ...
', Aad a round of marinarinj long anl loud ' '.
' Came ever up frm the moving crow I.
"T os re i tt old way, anu 1 in in toe sew.
That is the false, and tuia is the true."
Or, "l ui in the old way. and yon're in the new,
TU ' the false, and tki is the true,"
But the srstisrw on'y seemed tospeehV "i -Modeft
the sister walked, aad meek, -
And if ever one of them chanced to ray ' , , :.
What troubles she met with on the way, ;
flow she longed to pas to the other side, ,
Nor feared to cross ever the swelling tide, .
A voice roe from the brethern then ;
'Let no one rpeak but the hely men ;
Tor have ye not heard the words of Pnul,
Oh. let the women keep silence all ?"
I watrhed them lo In my carious drrnim,
'Till they stood by the bwnlers of the stream,
Then. Just ar I thought, the two ways niet,
' But oil tne lirethrrn were tnlking yet,
And would Uk in, tin the heaving tide
"Carried them over, side by side ; '
Pvle by sijrf, lor the way was one. 4 ' .
The toil.orae j'urny if life was don,
And all wh in Christ the Saviour died. '
(,'ime out alike on tne other side. . i? . ,
No forms, or err, "r books had thsy, ' ' - ,
No gown f mi k. or suit or Cray, . ,
No creeds toguide lheiu.or MdH. - .
For all had p it on Christ's righlsousnens
V -
A Wonderful Llemory.
. The learne'l BisiVp Jewel, Vh.0 died in
1571, tt3 blessed with x most; wonderl'ul
, nemory. lie could exactly repeat what he
Lai written at any .former period after once
reading it. Durinz the ringing of the bell
for public worship he could commit to mem
cry a whole sermon, and pronotin'e it .with
out hcaiLi lion. II Ls usual custom was to write
the heads of hia sermon on hia memory ,and
o fina'y were thcr, after few minutes, im
printed on liid mind, that he used to say that
. if lO.OO'j peofyle were fighting. and quarrel
ing all the time he was preachmg they could
rot confute him. Ti put him to n full trial,
.Dr. Parkhust. uttered 4o him. some of the
most dificult and barl'irius wordii he could
nd in a calender, 'and Bishnp Hooper, of
Clauccster, gave him forty Velsh, Irish and
fbrei m worci, and after once or twice read
in.T, and a little recollection, he 'repeated
them 3 11 1 .ackrar:Jar.d forward.' In the year
cf lOSSir Nicholas Bacon, lord , keeper of
tho jcr'-'St soal, havir. g read to him from Eras
jnus' 1'uraj. hraie the lact clauses of teq lines,
43onfaed and imperf.Jct, with the view of
' more fully trying his jrift-.sitting silent awhile,
and covering his head with his hand, he; re-Le.-rsed
all the broken parts the right way
'and tl;3 revcr-e without Lerftation. He pro
f 1 1., eah this trt to others,' and foin-itr-irted
hi.s tutor, Dr. Parkhurst, at Zurice,
i vri:' tfrnVfi ht 1 ?f, y rivin? or-:y one
! r t...:: cay f j the Id' -cU le lovrxcd all
th2 tTCty-cigh.t thars cf the Gospel cf
rerso, t'-IIIrj what west Ixforo cx.d what foi-
'UOMMUiN'lOATiUAS.:
Abolitionists and Abolitionism.
r;.; nod. ,;.;.;: -:
. : Messrs; EDrroits : -The Abolitionist i are
un wiling, perhaps incapable, of learning
wisdom tront the Fathers, or their Democratic
descendant4, and therefore do not dispense
justice and judgment and equity among white
men, nor the States of this Union. They
are subtle, and simple, and have no discre
tion. . , -. ...
..They cay, "Come with us, let us lay in
wait for blood, let us lurk privily for the in
nocent and slay the Democrats without
cause ; let as swallow them Aip alive, as the
grave; and whole, aa those that go down
into the pit." "We Abolitionists shall then
find all precious substance, let us fill our
houses with, spoils from the South, such as
pianos, melodeons, organs, Tiolins, guitars,
fifes, drums and jewshaps, marble-topped
bureaus, ' rosewood bedsteads, stands and
tables, looking glasses large and small.
clocks, gold and silver watches gold and
silver spoons, knives 'and forks, silver sugar
bowls andtongs, silver cream pitchers, whis
key, wine and brandy, rich and beautiful
paintings, maps, valuable. books, important
documents, shoes and boots, for honest old
Abe's stationery." nhotosrranhs, keensakes.
I mementoes of gold and silver, pings, breast
pins, lockets, . laces, silks, shawls, broad
cloth good clothes of all kinds, fast horses,
plated qarness and saddles, tine carriages,
carpets, money and other valuables too nu
merous to mention.," They cry, "Cast in
thy lot among us 'loyalists,' let us 'Ieaugers'
all have one purse, ami while we shriek for
the Union, .we '.will fill our purse from the
treasury of the nation, and the Southern
States'
But I say unto the Democrats, and all
other patriots, walk not iu the way with
those traitors, refrain your feet from their
Abolition paths, for their feet run to evil,
and that continually, and they make haste
to shed the blood of white men ; yea they
lay ia wait and lurk secretly to destroy their
own race. : Such are the ways of the Aboli
tionists, for. they are all greedy of unjust
gains, and take away the nghte, and even
the lives of others to obtain that property,
How long, jou fanatical Abolitionists, will
you love Abolitionism and the nigger, and
hate white men and women, who will not
bow down and worship your idol? How long
will you scorn the Constitution and the Un
ion of the States, burn the one, and de
nounce the other as a "league with death
and ft covenant with hell ?''
Will you Abolitionists forever contemn the
flag, and with Horace Greeley assail it as a
"flauntinir lie," and "hate's polluted ra?,"
and exhort its enemies to "tear it down" and
deep sink it in the waves," and yet, from
the most corrupt and selfish motives you
pretend to Jve the Constitution, and respect
the Uuion, and adore the flag, our national
ensign, the Ted white and blue. Y
"Woe unto you hypocrites ! for you are
like unto whited serjulchres. which indeed
appear beautiful outward, but are within
full of extortion, excess and all uncleanness. ' '
W oe unto you, hypocrites ! lor you com
pass sea and land to make one proselyte :
and when he ' is - made an Abolitionist you
make him two-fold more the child of hell
than yourselves." ' Woe unto you hypo
crites ! for you pay tithe of mint and anise
and cumin into your own party treasury, but
omit the weightier matters of your own law,
and persistently neglect to pay taxes on the
gold and silver watches, plate, pianos, and
all the other valuables you stole from the old
men and helpless women and children in the
South, this tax you ought to ay, but the
other jou might leave undone. "Woe
unto you livpocrites ! you Jewur widows'
houses, and out or pretence jour pnejit3
make long prayers, but for all this shall you
receive the greater damnation. You arc
blind guides who strain at a gnat and swal
low a negro. Ye serpents, ye generations of
blowing vipers, how can you eape the dam
nation of hellV"- But I apprehend your
official days are numbered you deceivers
have been weighed in the balance and found
wanting. ' Therefore the people will turn
you disunion Abolitionists out of office, and
send honest men to fill your places. And
the people will laugh at your calamity, they
will mock when your fear cometh as desola
tion, and your destiuction cometh as a
whirlwind, and distress and anguish shall
overtake you.
Then will the people say, "down, down
you demons in human shape, down to hell,
and tell your father, the devil, of whom you
are, and whose works j-ou will do2 tell him
that we, the people, sent you thither, we
who neither pity, love, nor fear you."
-You disunion Abolitionists being thus dis
posed of, the Democracy arid other Conser
vative men will reign supreme ; the North
and the South be again united, and that
Union, as it existcd in the "hearts and affec
tions of the American people," be again
restored to bless the world through the tal
ent and honesty of its statesmen,, and the
purity and patriotism of our whole people.
' " ' ' - Jeftersox.
i Dominie Brown's First Kiss. He had
reached the age of five and forty without
having taken part in this Iibiaf exercise.
One of his deacons had a very charming
daughter, and for a year or two tne Dominie
found it very pleasant to call upon her three
or four times a week, in fact, the neighbors
said that jhe was courtin her, and very
likely he was, though he had not the re
motest suspicion of it himself. ; On Monday
evening, he was sitting as usual by her side,
when a sudden idea popped into his head.
"Miss Mary, said he, "I've known you a
long time, and I never thought of. such a
thing before, but now I would like vou to
rive me a kiss! Will you?" "WefiV.Mr.
Brown," replied she, arching her lips in a
tempting-way "if jou think it would not be
wrong, 1 would have no objections." .
"Let us ask a blessing first," said the good
man, closing hi3 eyes and folding his hands.
"For what we are about to receive, the Lord
make us thankful." ' The ehaste salute was
then given, . and ..warmly . returned. "Oh,
Mary, that was good 1" cried the Dominie,
electrified by a new sensation, "let us have
another and then return thanks." - ,
Mary" did not refuse, and when the opera
tion had been repeated, the Dominie ejacu
lated m a transport of jov : "For the crea
ture comforts which we have now enjoyed,
the Lord be praised, and may they be pancti
fied to our temporal and etenyd good I" :
. .History eays that the fervent petitions of
the honest Dominie was duly answered, for,
in less "than" a month Mary became Mrs,
Brown."
An honest Logansport German got exci
ted over the elopement of a married woman,
and exclaimed, "Id ray vife rans avay mit
anoder man's vife, I will shake him out of
her til np.zs tr.d TatcrfaU if she be mine fader
THE VICTIMIZED XOliGEK.
BY FATJL CIEYTON.
Mr. Benjamin F. Derby returned to town
and to his lodgings at Mrs. Covey's rather
sooner than ha was expected. Itwaslate in
the evening, and havinjj entered by means
ot nis night tey, and hnding nobody stirring,
he walked leisurly up to his room.
This was the apartment Mr. Derby had al
ways occupid in Mrs. Covey's house, but on
this occasion it seemed very little like home.
Before leavine town" he had carefully nut
away all his clothes in his trunks, and dunn?
nis absence other revolutions had been made
in the room which gave it a different air.
Not the least agreeable thing in the room
was darkness. Mr. Derby had entered with
out a lamp expecting to find that desirable
article in the old place ; but after knocking
oyer an ink bottle, a vate, and snuff box, in
his blind search, he concluded that the wisest
course would be to stop (swearing and go to
bed in the dark.
In no very good humcr Mr. Derby began
to undress. To return home after an ab
sence of two weeks, and to be obliged to go
to bed in such a dismal manner, almost broke
his heart . lie might have rung for the ser
vants it is true, and he might have reflected
that his friends were excusable since thcydid
not expect him ; but Mr. Derby chose tore
main angry and silent ' ( - - -
"And where is Margiiret Maria?" mut
tered the unhappy man. "Oh faithless
dauffhtcr of an unfeelini' landlady I T didn't
expect this from you I When I tore myself
irom your arms two weeks ago you protested
with tears in your eyes and perfidy in your
heart that a-ou would watch, with the anxious
eyes of love, for my return ! Oh, this looks
like it I Jjven now, 1 know you are making
yourself merry with somj fresh conquest, or,
if you are sleeping under this roof, you are
dreaming of pleasure in which I have no
share." So fcaying, Mr. Derby threw his
trousers on a chair, and began to grope his
way in darkness to the head of the bed. At
this moment a merry laugh, close to his
chamber door, startled : him. Mr.-Derby-
paused. . r
"3Iargaret Maria's laugh, by all that is
false!" groaned Mr. Derby. "She said fhe
would do nothing butsifh and weep during
my absence and hear her! ah, she laughs
again the false hearted "
Mr. Derby's reflections were suddenly in
terrupted by a hand graf ping his door latch.
With considerable trepidation he flew to lock
the door, but before he could reach it a mer
ry laugh, a blaze of .light and two girls burst
into the room.
' Now Mr. D. was a rery modest person,
and it was a lucky circumstance for him that
the closet door, was ajar, and retreat conve
nient, and his limbs active. He dodged out
of sight before the girls had time to cast their
eyes about them, and soon the door was shut
and his ears pinned back.
"What time do you suppose it is?" asked
Margaret Maria. "There, the bells are
striking twelve. Oh, hain't we had a gay
time, Susan?"
' "Gay enough, ' ' was Susan's reply. ' 'Ha !
ha ! but wouldn't your poor, ; dear, absent
Derby be amused if he knew ' ' ,
"Ila ! ha, ha," laughed Margaret Maria.'
"My poor, dear, abstnt Derby! That is
too good ; if he knew, poor fellow, it would
break his hearty He thinks I do nothing but
sigh and cry during his absence. Am I such
a goose?" -
"Such a goose ?" Oh, groaned Derby
painfully interested.
"Such a goose! "echoed Sue. "Hewould
not think so if he had seen you eating the
oysters with Dan Bobbins."
"I only hope.." -added Margaret, "..hat he
will keep away a week longer." -
"So that we can have this room?"
"No not exactly tha t but Dan has in
vited me to go to a ball on Thursday uight,
and you know I couldn'c go if my poor, dear,
absent Derby, should come back in the mean
time." -
Derby was trembling with cold and wrath.
"You mean to marry Derby, then?", asked
Susan.
"I suppose I shall," said Margaret gaily.
"I like to flirt with Dan, and if he had as
many dollars as my poor, dear, absent Derby
"You would choose Dan?" '
"To be sure I would. He ain't such a
such a fool as " "
"Derby. Ha! ha! But what's this? A
coat, a pair of pantaloons!". , .
"Gooints' gracious! How did they come
here?" . ..
Derby was trembling, with excitement
burning with rage, but now he felt a new
source of unensiness. The discovery of his
pantaloons might lead to the discovery of
himself. Had he been Ires.sed, he woul have
liked nothing better than to confront the
perfidious Margaret but for the present it
was not to be thought of. He felt himself
blushing all over, in spite of the cold. To
his relief, however, the girls after making
out that there was nobody iu or under the
bed, did not seem disposed to inquire into
the mystery of the pantaloons, but Margaret
exclaimed : . t . - .
"I'll tell you what'l will do, Sue. I'll
dress myself in these clothes, and go into the
widow Slade's room. he'll think it's a man
and won't she be frightened?"
, "Frightened? No," Maid Snsan. "She's
had two husbands." But do it. See what
she will say." . .
"I will. Here, help me, Sue. Ha! ha!
And here's a hat too. How kind in some
body to leave all his clothes here."
Derby, poor, dear. present Derby, was
breathing very hard, hij heart beat heavily,
and every nerve shook. What the deuce
was he to do if Margaret went off with his
pants he could in no 'fray determine; and
from the exceedingly interesting conversa
tion which was going on, he knew that his
worst fears Were to be nialized.
"Oh! ainjt it a fit," cried Margaret
"Only turn up the trousers five or six inches
and I shall be fixed. Here, black my upper
lip with this piece of ccal. . I shan't make
love to you.' . Ha! ha! aint I a dashing fel
low?? . - ., - .
And Derby could hear somebody kissing
somebody, and spmebody laughing as if she
could not help it. ' . . ;--.: -
A moment after the girlshadleft the room,
Derby stole timidly from his biding place. ;
Margaret had taken the lamp and his clothes
with her; she had left darkness and her own
clothes behind. A happy thought struck
unhappy Derby." In all haste he enrobed
himself in Margarets gewn, then he put her
shawl over his shouldeis, and threw on her
bonnet and TeiL : In frre minutes .he was
ready to follow the girla
During this time them was a great deal of
laughing upstairs. Margaret, in Derby's
attire, went to Mrs. Shxle a room, who was
a little startled at first, but who took thing3
very cooly, until she fo"nd out it "was not a
man after all, when phe virtuously rave vent
t i her indignation." 1 The adventurers next
proceeded to the attic, where the girls were
sound asleep.' Susan having placed the
lamp in the passage, hid behind tho door,
while Margaret entered, and awoke Jane
Woods with a violent shower of kisses. Jane
tittered a faint scream, and demanded in a
whisper'
'Who
are you
"Sh," raid Margaret' - n 1
. Jane hushed accordingly, until she saw
the strange figure proceeding to Mary Clark's
pillow, when she concluded it was her duty
to scream.' Mary screamed too, after she
had been several times kissed, and Sarah
Jones joined in the chorus, until her mouth
was stop ed by a hasty buss.
' "Is it you, George?" she whispered.
At this moment the strange figure, vhich
had been seen by the light in the " passage,
ran out, and Susan, catching up the lamp,
ran in.
"Why, what is the matter?" she cried in
pretended astonishment.
"There's been a man in the room."
"He was kissing Sarah Jones."
"He didn't kiss me. He was kissing
Mary Clark." - -
"Me! I guess I would have torn his eyes
out. It was Jane Woods he kissed."
Susan was very much astonished of course
and the girls were all very indignant, and
not one of them would confess that she had
been kissed, until Susan pointed out the
marks of the coal moustache on -all their
faces, and called Margaret Then there was
a great deal of laughing, and Margaret, hav
ing gallantly kissed them all, again set out to
go down stairs. 1
But now it was Derby's turn to have a lit
tle fun, and Margaret's to be astonished.
As Susan advanced, the lamp she carried
revealed a frightful looking object at the foot
of the stairs. It was apparently a woman
of gigantic stature ; her dress was so short
that her bare feet and ankles could be seen
distinctly, and she waved her large bony hand
at the terrified girls majestically as a ghost.
Never were two mischief makersmore fright
ened by an apparition. Susan dashed her
self against the wall. Up went a scream
and down came the lamp. The oil covered
the stairs, and Margaret fainted and stepped
in it. At that moment the tall woman be
ing Derby himself cried
"Bobbers ! help ! murder 1" at the top of
his voice, and stepped into his room, locking
the door behind him.
Before Margaret recovered her scattered
senses, all the boarders were astir ; Susan
rushed into Mrs. Slade's room, and Margaret
would have followed her, but Susan, in her
terror shut her out. Next Margaret tried
her mother's door, and her mother hearing
the alarm, appeared at that moment, and
terrified by the coal moustache and smashed
hat, took her daughter for the robber, drop
hed her lamp and screamed fearfully. Mar
garet, as much frightened as her mother,
would have caught her in her arms, but Mrs.
Covey would hear no explanation, nor allow
her daughter to approach, but pushed her
out of the room with great trepidation.
Then Margaret ran to Derby's room, which
she f uziid locked. At that moment, Ned
Perkins; the oldest man in the Louse rush
ed out of his room with a lamp in one hand
and a sword cane in the other, ready drawn
for combat Ned flew at the supposed rob
ber, and would have seized her in an instant,
if she had not properly seen fit to faint at
the sight of his naked sword and legs, and
fall down before Mr. Derby's room. Her
hat now came off, her hair streamed down
her neck, and Ned recognized Margaret
Anybody can imagine the scene of confu
sion which followed.- The imprudent girl
found herself surrounded by half a dozen
half-dressed figures, some wondering, some
trembling with terror. But it was the se
verest cut for Margaret, when the door of
Derby's room opened, and the , tall appari
tion appeared. As soon as the screaming
had subsided the figure removed its veil.
"Don't be flighted, Margaret," he said,
"it's nobody but your poor, dear, absent
Derby.' That's all."
Can you fancy her feeling? ? Mr. Derbj
could, as he entered the room again, locked
the door, and went to bed overjoyed at what
had occurred. He slept soundly, and awoke
in the morning as completely cured of his
love for Margaret, as if he had seen her
turned into a grizzly bear.
ClYMER GETS THE PAINTING. At a fair
for the benefit of the lVesbjterian church at
Mechar.icsburg, last week, an oil painting of
George Washington was put up to be voted
for at ten cents a, vote. The understanding
was that the painting was to be presented to
the candidate for Governor having the
largest number of votes. The Clyiner tick
ets were deposited in one box, and the Geary
tickets in another. The voting was kept up
with great spirit for three days, and on Sat
urday evening the tickets were taken from
the boxes and counted. They stood :
Clymer. 2,391
Geary 1,447
Majority for Clymer. .....944
That will do ! The Gearyites made des
perate efforts to get the painting for their
candidate. They wrote to negro suffrage
men all over the country, beseeching aid, on
account of "this being Geary's own coun
ty," &c. They worked and begged day and
night, but all to no purpose. The friends
of Clymer were also quietly at work, and we
congratulate them on the result of this con
test as an indication of what may be expected
this Fall in old Mother Cumberland. Stand
to jour guns, Democrats, and all will be well
in October. Carlisle Volunteer.
A Sponge Bath. Kendall, of the New
Orleans lyicayune, relates the following,
which occurred in his presence recently at
Baden, in Germany:
At this juncture we were joined by an
English party, when the subject matter
brought under discussion was bathing. "I
take a cold shower bath every morning when
at home," said John Bull. "So do I," re
torted Brother Jonathan. "Winter and
Summer," continued the Englishman. V3Iy
system exactly," said the Yankee. "Is
your weather and water cold?" inquired John
Bull "Bather chilly," continued Jona
than. "How cold?" inquired .John. "So
cold that the water all freezes as it pours
down my back and rattles upon the floor in
the shape of .hail!" responded the Yankee
with the same cunning twinkle of the eye.
"Were you in the next room to me in Amer
ica," he continued, "and could hear me as
I am taking my shower bath pf a morning,
you would think I was pouring dry beans
upon my back." The Englishman shrug
ged his shoulders as with a chill and mar
velled. ' " . '" .
..
The' following advertisement appeared in
one of our Western papers: "Bun Away
A hired man named John j his nose turned
up fire feet eight inches high, and had oa a
TT" of CrTTr' T'','r,' ypn vi","
Grand Campaign Speech for the
Wooly-Heads !
: Wuar, Oii Wiiar's deBuro Now !
The Bellefontc Watchman furnishesin ad
vance, a speech for negro advocates in the
coming campaign which will, no doubt, be a
bombshell in the camps of the Johnsonites.
and a scatterer of the "ignorant," "nasty'
"Copperheads," who praised the President
for vetoing the Negroes Bureau BilL ' Here
it is in full :
My Belubbed Friends. De tcx on dis
'stressin 'casion am dese stirrin and heart
bustin obserwations :
Whar's de Freeman's Bureau now !
My Culled 'Sciples : Bovd, de American
ob African 'cent, am heah befoah de house
ob extreme discouragement De culled popy
Iashum has been skewished by Mr. Johnsmg
whose front name am Ander. His vetoes
have stopped on to our apiration and de
Freedman s Buro am clean done gone an
busted foreber. De kloven huff obde indi
widual which his last cognomen is Johnsing.
hab made distinkly visible to de unkivered
obtics ob de public. Dat is to say you can
see it wid de naked eye, without de aid ob a
xelyscope. He is de Moses Iscarot ob dese
degenerated days,
. My frenz, who's dis Johnsing f say ? He
was nuffin but a tailor, yes, gemmen and folks,
he came from a low straxhum, and his pa
runts of his father's side was old Johnsing,
and,
"Whar's de freedman'a Buro now ?"
Dis is de werry unkindest cat ob all, as
Spoke have say. Dis is do midnight ob de
mid winter ob our diskontent
De smashing ob de Buro, I consider de
most greatest and excecdingist mightiest ka
lamity ob dis age ! I am a orator, I acknowl
edge, but whar's de language to do justice
to de extreme proportion ob do prodigious
ness ob de magditudc ob de enorniousness
ob de universal amplitude ob de de
"Whar's do Buro now?"
My frenz, You'll excuse de wraf and in
dignashun dars in de veins ob de honorable
and eloquent speaker who is nowspeakin
sitch burnin eloquence in jour midst dats
to say me. But I cannot distrain de pow
erful ideas which am leapin and wrestlin in
to my brain. De krisis has cum. De sister
of de krisis and all their sisters have arriv,
and de bery earth quakes, de stars emit flash
es ob indignant thunder, de bery uniwerse
trembles, and boundless 'niensiry echoes back
de dire question,
"Whar's de Buro now?"
My hearers. De young man eloquent must
rest here, hehasfoughtde goodfite, buthe's
gone in. Look at dese tattered garments,
all worn to shreds in de noble cause ob.de
Freedman's Buro, which Johnsing tramped
into wid de as I may, say, de stern heel ob
despotism ! Wherefore dis excitement, you
may ask. De answer am here. Overpow
ered sentimentally, overburdened with other
hefty grief ! My day is run, my occupashun
gone, for de text savs :
"Whar's deBuro now?"
But my followers, Neler gib up-de ship.
Boyd will nebcrfiil. When de earthquake
shall have ceased, when de storm shall hab
spent its fury, and de tempast hushed to
zephyrs. When de floods shall hab retreat
ed and de giant ob terror.' dismay and dis
traction han returned to ae dim caverns ob
dere abode, dore in the midst obde ruin shall
be seen dis hummel indiwidual, umbrel in
han, hat under de kandkerchief in dcrcar
pocket ob de narrative ob his smaller-tailed
coat, yellin eloquence to de natives, dis tcx.
"Whar's deBuro now?"
Brudder Dclaun Gray will proceed to col
lect de revenue in dc usual way, while de con
gregation jinesindis highly edifying hymn
Oh ! giggle, goggle jumpacross,
Dat am berry good,
Den dis brudder steal a boss,
And ride him to de woods !
Jiggle, goggle, possum fat,
1 lop de dooden dow,
T'se got a lovely Thomas cat,
O ! Whar's de Buro now.
While many may think that the speech
will not be very appropriate for campaign
purposes, yet it will be found to contain just
about as weighty arguments as abolition or
ators generally use.
Straws, &c. At a festival held in Me
chaniesburg, the blackest hole, (in a politi
cal sense.) in Cumberland count, an engrav
ing of Washington was put up to be voted
for by the respective friends of Hon. Hiester
Clymer and Gen. Geary. The friends of
Clymer took the picture by a majority of nine
hundred and sixty votes 1 It will be recol
lected that this is the same Old Mother Cum
berland where Geary resides, and where nine
tenths of the honorably discharged soldiers
of the Federal army have cast their votes in
Convention against him and his Bump Dis
union supporters. "Comment is unnecessary-"
Awkward Legislation. A number of
liquor dealers in Massachusetts had been con
victed of violating the liquor laws, and were
subjected to fines. The Legislature passed
a new law changing the penalty for the of
fence, and the new act is contended to be an
ex post facto law as to persons previously con
victed, and as the old law is repealed, they
have escaped all punishment. In Boston
and its neighborhood it is stated that over
1,500 persons escaped, whose fines would per
haps have amonn ted to $1,000,000
Every third "Bepublican" you meet pro
fesses to be opposed to Negro Suffrage. So
far so good. Now, who is the representative
of the Negro Suffrage party in Pennsylvania ?
Who willbe supported by Thaddeus Stevens,
Wm. D. Kelley, John M. Broomal and the
balmce of the Negro Suffrage Congressmen,
for Governor of Pennsylvania ? The answer
is, without the shadow of a doubt, John W.
Geary. How, then, can "llepublicans"
who are opposed to Megro Suflrage, vote
for Geary for Governor.
A NEW style of head-dress is just out It
called the "Silverina," from its beinir
IS
made of silver. It is composed of a silver
half dollar, with a number of holes drilled
adout the edces, from which depend short
gold-colored threads to which are attached
natural flowers of any kind the wearer
chooses. These can be changed at will. It
is in great vogue at evening parties, and, of
course, will haveits run.
A. Ward, thus describes his perils at neo.
Deth stared us into the face. B"t we had
rather the advant ige of deth. While deth
stared us into .the face, thar was about sev
enty of us starin deth in the face. The
Piffpect wasn't pleasin' to us. Not much.
I don't know how deth liked it
' A smart fellow in Worcester has discov
ered a plan to make two hodfuls of coal go
as far as four. He doubles the size of the
For the Democrat and Star.
CAMPAIGN SONGNo. 1.
BY raven.
.diV Jefferson and Li'erty.
Ye Democrats bo vvide awake,
And of the times advantage take ;
On this Campaign there's much at stake,
Your country's Liberty.
We've stood together in many a storm,
And often felt the Tyrant's arm,
But now we need not feel alarm,
For we shall soon be free.
Chorus :
Hurrah, Columbia's sons, Hurrah,
One effort more and we are free,
We'll vote for Clymer and the law,
For Constitutional Liberty.
We've battled for each freeman's right, -Though
sometimes worsted in the fight, .
We never yet have lost the sight
Of white men's Liberty.
The Constitution and the laws,
Have been the objects of our cause,
And we're determined ne'er to pause
Until success we see.
Chorus : Hurrah, Columbia's sons, Sec.
To no false issue turn aside,
But on the rock of Truth abide,
Although Conservatives deride,
And Bad icals may rave.
For principles and not for men, '
For Liberty and not for gain,
For freedom's old and wide domain
We labor now to save.
Chorus : Hurrah, Columbia's sons, &c.
Give credit for each manly act,
Acknowledge every noble" fact,
Defend the right whene'er attacked,
No matter done by whom.
But to none we'll turn around.
We say to all, wherever found,
That on this old, time-honored ground '
We welcome all that come.
Chorus: Hurrah, Columbia's sons, &c.
We'll join the true with heart and hand,
To drive the tyrant's from the land,
To oust the Abolition band
This nigger loving crew.
All things are working for the State,
The "Bad's" do Andy Johnson hate,
We'll have the Governor, sure as fate
And the next President too.
Chorus : Hurrah, Columbia's sons, &c.
Studying Politics under Diffi
culties. An old farmer in the interior of Ohio
writes to the Cincinnati Comnicrcial, among
other readable matters, the following, which
is too good to be lost, and too true to be
forgotten : '
One day, some time ago, John had been
to the station for me and brought home a
paper that was filled with a great many
speeches,' that had been made about a bill
that our President had seen fit to disapprove
of. Well, 1 took the paper to my corner,
and, although it was all in very small print
and tried my eyes very much, I read it ev
ery bit. My good wife got tired of my for
ever sitting there, pouring over those long
"borations " as she termed them, and said
that I would do well to be reading my Bible
more, and such productions less. "Wife,"
said I, "the kingdom of heaven isn't in any
particular danger just now, but my country
is." After that she said nothing more
about it to me.
But the more I read in that paper the more
bothered 1 became. I read a long speech
by Mr. Henry Beccher, who seems to know
so much about everything but divinity, and
I liked it because he supported our Presi
dent, and our President, 1 thought, must
be in a very trying position now-a-days.
Then I was upset by Mr. Phillips, who
went into Mr. B. like 1 have seen little boys
attack hornets' nests in the winter time.
"If Rich men differ," said I, "who will de
cide?" I had alwaj-s before thought these
two would agree though the earth split
Then I turned over the leaf wrong and
commenced on the latter part of somebody
else's speech. I liked it so much that I
read on and on until I finished it. "Surely,"
said I to myself, "surely we have got one
good and true man in the land." The tone
of the sjeech reminded me of the good old
fashioncd "farewell address" of General
Washington, and I thanked God and took
courage.
Then I hunted up the beginning of the
speech, and could not believe my eyes when
1 saw Alex. II. Stephens' name to it I
thought it must be Thaddeus Stevens, as he
was "Union," though the composition was
very much unlike the style of the gentle
man from Pennsylvania.
"Wife "said I; "look here; my gl
are a little dim ; is that Alex. II. ?"
asses
"Alex. 11. said she.
"Not Thaddeus," said I.
"Not Thaddeus," said she.
"Is the last name spelt with a 'v,' or with
a'ph'?" .
"Ph," said she, "and -what are you rcad
ing rebel speeches for, Td like to know.
He's the Slice President of the Confedera
cy, and ought to be hanged in a sour apple
tree instead of being loose and making bo
rations. I My wife is a little nebulous about names
and titles, but she is a thorough-going Un
ion woman, and hates rebels with a perfect
hatred. She was chairman of an aid society
during the war, and many a time I've waked
up in the night and found her still sittine bv
the dying fire, knitting socks for the poor
soldiers wno were a lying out on the cold
ground with nothing but their knapscats
and pontoons to cover them. J
Then I found that the speech was ad
dressed to the Georgia Legislature, and I
knew that "Thad" would never take the
trouble to tell erring people how to go right,
though he is great on abusing them . wnen
they go wrong. . .
A modern philosopher has appropriated
man' 8 full extreme as follows :
Seven years in childhood's snort and play, 7
Seven years in school from day to clay, 14
Seven years at a trade or college life, 21
Seven years to find a place and wife, 8
Seven j-ears to pleasure's follies given, 35
Seven years to business hardly driven, 42
Seven years for fame, a wild goose chase, 49
Seven years for wealth, a bootless race, 56
Seven years for hoarding for your heir, 63
Seven years in weakness spent and care, 70
Then die and go you should know where I
si "-' i . .. ... a
Speaking of th undeveloped wealth of
the country, a loafer said that was 'exactly
his position : he possessed vast resources
was very rich but bis wealth was tindeyel-
A Dangerous IllusIonTO 1 1
There are multitudes of men attached to
the ideas and principles that, are, vulgarly
called "Democratic," who are nursinj; the de
lusion tha the Democratic party is going to
carry the day in the next, fall elections; bv
some kind of "manifest destiny." ..We wish
to say all such that they are hugging to their
their bosoms a mostdangerous delusion.- It is
not numbers that win. It is organization.
Through most of the States, and through
most parts of every State, Democrats are as
thoroughly disorganized a mass of voters aa
the demon of disorder could wish. We want,
in time, to tell the Democratic party that a
disastrous defeat is before them, next Fall,
unless they bestir themselves betimes. The
winking and nodding of Democratic political
managers, at the last moment, will fail, as it
has failed, most shamefully, in years lately
Sast Let us face the true position: Andrew
ohnson, President of the United States,
has been deluded by Seward and his friends,
into the absurd idea of building up a new
party neither Black Bepublican nor Dem
ocratic, but some Urriumguid some 'black
neutral of the third sex.' If that game could
win, President Johnson would, as a matter
of course, be over-slaughed, ' and Seward
would come out as the head of this party of
"the third sex." It will be a failure. V It
cannot win. But, in the attempt, Seward
and his friends are bamboozing President
Johnson. Seward & Co. are in mortal dread
of the Democratic party. They know that
Democrats can accept Andrew Johnson as
their candidate in 1868. They know that,
under no circumstance, can they accept Sew
ard, the ornamental head-piece of the 'ir
repressible conflict."' Hence the efforts for
the utter destruction of the Democratic par
ty. President Johnson, so far, has fallen into
their trap. He is not using his Executive
patronage to promote his Executive program
me. It is from no memory of our ancient
traditions when Washington and Jefferson,
as Virginia freemen and gentlemen, refused
to require the office holders of their admin
istrations to support their policy. All such
high notions are discarded now. " It is done
now, as a matter of political craft. The
plain Lnglish ot it is that President John
son has men in his Cabinet who are plotting
against him, personally, while by wily flat
teries, they arc bindiug him to their proceed
ings. Seward, and Stanton, and Speed,
while pretending to differ from each other, -all
see ej-e to eye. They are all agreed in
the plan of consigning Andrew J ohnson to
complete obscurity, at tho close of his pres
ent political term. - ' -
Now, being an honest man, we will say,
bluntly, that for Audrcw Johnson, personal
ly, we care not, as respects this world, One
continental damn I We have no respect for
him, and never expect to have any. Were
he to.be declared President for life of the late
United StateSj we would refuse to : shake
hands with him, except he could, in some
marvellous manner, purge himself of com
plicity in the murder of Mrs. Surratt," Wirz,
and various other innocent people. But, with
all that, if he so showed himself as that there
was a reasonable prospect that, henceforth,
he would administer tne Government of the
United States in a manner advantageous to
the common interests of all the States, we
would work for his election as President in
1868, and again, in 1872, and again, in 1876,
if he desired it at that period. ' " ,
That means that we look on the Presiden
tial office in the United States Government
as no post of honor ! How can it be, after
the execrable way it was handled by Ldncoln,
with Seward as his mentor ?
We look upon it as a constabulary duty to
be discharged. Whoever discharges its du
ties aright, we are in favor of keeping in for
fear worse may happen by a chanfce. .
We mean- to warn the Democratic party
that President Johnson is habitually bam
boozled, and that the vast majority of the
tremendous Executive patronage in all the
Departments, is used ayainxt the President,
and against all the conservative principles of
our Government We wbh to say, once
more, and we will repeat it often hereafter,
Democrats must organize and enroll, and that
on a declared support of the few fundimen
tal first principles of Jeffersonian Democra
cy. The Democracy unorganized, in the va
rious localities, will be as the chaff before th5
wind. Our foes, the" "Union Leagurers,"
are thoroughly organized. We say, in tho
most earnest terms, to Democrats, if you are
not organized and enrolled, in your various
neighborhoods if you arc trusting to the
afflatus of public meetings for victory .you
will be sadly disappointed. N. Y. Fret
man t Journal.
A first-rate joke took place quite recently
in our court-room. A woman was testifying
in behalf of her son, and swore "that he had
worked on a farm ever since he was born."
The lawyer, who cross-examined her, said :
"You assert that your son has worked on a
farm ever since he was born." Says she :
"I do." "Then," said the lawver, " what
did he do the first year?" "ie mtZrwri,"
said she, and the lawyer evaporated.
Bemember, it is not what people cat but
what they digest, that makes them strong.
It is not what they gain but what they gave
that makes them rich. It is not what they
read lut what they remember, that makes
them learned. It is not what they profess
but what they practice that makes them
strong.
A MAN got tipsy and indulged in a night's
sleep in a country grave yard. t)n opening
hi? eyes in the morning he noticed the in
scription on a grave stone "He is not dead,
but sleepeth. "When I am dead," he re
marked with great deliberation, "I'll own
up, and have no such statement as that
above my carcass."
The latet style of bonnets has turned up
at Bichmond, Ind. It is described as "con- .
sisting of two ttraws, tied together with a
blue ribbon on the top of the head, and red
tassels suspenced at each of the four ends of
the straws. Price $19."
The easiest way to get a living, says a
vagabond poet, is to sit on a gate and wait
for good luck. Li case good luck don' t come
along, you are no worse off than before. . .
' A Western editor thinks that niram Pow
ers is a swindler, because he chisled an un
fortunate Greek girl out of a block of marble.
A farmer being asked if his horses match
ed. Yes they are matched first-rate ; one of
them is willing- to do all the work, and the
other is willing he should."
The man in jail who looked out of the win
dow of .his cell and exclaimed, " This is a
Site country," is now generally admitted to
ve spoken within bounds. - -
To love and to labor is the sum of living ;
and yet how many think, they live who'neiti-
rr labor nor lor. - -