-HJij.i-i uu--a i mil , , .jx .
; TEHMS OF THE AMERICA!?."
II. B.MAS8ER, ) rHtiiiiun
JOSEPH EI3ELY. S Paorat.To.
H. BMJISSEn, EdiUf.
Office in Cenir$ Mey, intke rear of H. B, Mas
ser't Store.)
THE" AMERICAN" ipublhed every 8aUir
day at TWO DOLLARS per annum to "be
piiJ half yearly tn advance. IV o paper discontin
ued till itt artearagea are pa'iJ.
No uberiptfon received for a 1pm period than
it motm. All communication or letter on
business rcUllna; to the office, to iniure attention,
must be POST PAID.
ATTOli NEY AT LAW,
suitbury, r a.
TBuslneM attended tn in the Counties of Nor
Yhuml erland, Union. Lycoming and Columbia.
Heier to I
P. & A. PnVUUIlT,
Low mi fc 13 i niton,
JSoHKHS iV SsjollOBASa, 'liluJ.
RkTSOLIIS, McKaRLASH At Co,
Sr-KittNn, 'inoii At t'o.,
ALEXANDER L. IIICKEY.
TRUNK MAKER.
IV o. 150 4 licKitut .Street,
PIIXXiADC LFHIA,
WHERE all kinds of leather trunk, vidian and
carpet hags, of every style and palleen are
manufactured, in the best manner and from the best
material, and aUI at the lowest rule.
Philadelphia, July lillh, 181!). ly.
c m o v a 1 .
I) It. JOHN W. I'KAL.
RESPECTFULLY inform vhe ci
litens of Niirihu-y etui it ticinby, ih'.t
he lin-i removed (o ihe Un k House, in
Ma'kpt street, fi.reieilv otruoied hy
Benjamin Hendricks, t ist tf the store formerly oc
cupied by Miiler At Martz, and now by Ira T. Cle
ment, where he will he happy to receive cilia in
'the line of hi profession.
NiinMirv. Mareh W9ih 1845.
1TE7" C.P.PETI1TGS.
riHE sub-critter have received, and are now
JL opening a splendid a.aoriment of the following
Simony, Wilinn and Velvet Carpetine ")
Brussels and Imperi i I 3 ply d,i 1 PAH-
Kxlra Uierfine and fine I'icrnim do ! PET
Knglinh shaded At. D.imask Veneliun do I l.NG.
American twilled and tia'd do J
F.neheh I'rujiseits and Woohn Floor CI. lh
Stair and l':isaee Dockings
Kmhoseed Piano and Table Cover
London Chenille and Tufte I Ruga
Door Mult ofeveiy description.
ALSO
A large and extensive csortment of Floor Oil
Cloths Irnm one tn eight yard wide, cut lo fit eve
ry description of moms or p isi-aue.
Also, low priced Ingrain Cupetinga from 31 J to
62$ cent per yard, together with a large and exten
sive assortment of good usually kept by carpet
merchant.
The above good will be sold wholesale or retail
at the lowest market prices. Country merchant
and others are particularly invited to call and exa
mine our stock before making theii selections.
CLARKSON, RICH & MULLHl N,
Succesors to Joseph W.ickwood, No. Ill Chesnut,
corner of Franklin Place.
Philadelphia. Feb. 22d, IR4S.
U M I5HH liLAS&l A R A SOLsT
CHEAP FOR CASH.
J. IT. SVAIIT'S
Umbrella nnd Parasol Manufactory.
So. 37 tiorth Tlmtl street, two door below the
CITY HOTEL,
Phlludelphla.
A LWAYjJ on hand, a Urge tock of I'M
UUELLAs snd PARASOLS, including the
Intent new style, of Pinked Edged Psra-ol of the
best woikmitnsliip and materials, a price that will
make i1. an object to Country Merchams and other
to call and examine bia stock before puichaing
elsewhere. Fc!. 22, 1845.'- ly
SIIL'G ERTS PATENT
v-ad:-::itc- iachiite.
riHIS Michine h-ia now been tested by more
A than thirty families in this neighborhood, and
tins given entire satisfaction. It is so simple in its
construction, that it cannot get out of order. It
contains no iron to ru-t, nnd no piings or rollers to
get out of repur. It will do twice aa much wash
ins, with less than hall the wear and (ear of an) of
the lite invention, and what is of greater impnr.
tance.it coU but Utile over half as much a other
washing machine.
The nihm riher has the exrlusive right for Nor
thumherland, Union, L coming, Columbia, I.n
terne and Clinton Counties. Price f single mn
chine $6. H. B. M AS.-EI.'.
The following certificate is fiom a few of those
who have there machines in use.
Sunhuiy, Aug. 24, 1844.
We, the subscribers, certify that we have now
n u-e, in our futilities, "Shugert's Patent Wasti
ng Machine," and do not hesitate atytng that it is
i most excellent inveniion. That, in Wa-I,ing,
t will Hive more than one ha!f the usual labor.
''hat it doec not require more than one third the
jsuul quantity of sop and water ; and that there
a no ruliiniig, and consequently, little or no wear
ng or tearinB. That it knock ofT no buttons, and
hat the finest cloib.es, snch aa collar'', lacra, tucks,
rills, Alc, may be washed in a vey short time
nthoot the le.iht injuiy, and in fact without any
Pparent wear and tear, whatever. We therefore
hi crfully recommend it to our friend and to the
ubltc, a most useful and labor saving machine,
CHARLES W.HLU1NS,
A. JOIMiAN.
CHS. WEAVER.
CHS PLESAT8,
filUEON MARK I.E.
. Hon. GEO. C. VVELKER,
Ui:..l. HENDRICKS,
GIDEON LEISENRINO.
Iraa'a Hotel, (formerly Tremnnt House, No,
116 Ch.snut fclieei,) Philadelphia, September
tlst, IH44.
I have used Shugert' Pntenl Washing Machine
n my hou e upward of right months and do not
lecitate to lay that I deem it one of the mo t use
ul and valuable labor-saving machine ever inven
ed. I formerly kept two women continually oc.
upied in wathiug, who now do aa much in two
lay a a they then did in one week. There ia no
ear or tear in waahing. and it requirea not more
ban one-third the usual quantity of aoap. I have
iad number of other machine in my farrrly, bu.
hia ia o decidedly cuperinr to every thing elae, and
o lii tie liable lo get out of icp.nr, that I would not
o without one if they aboul I coat ten lime the
rice they are ..ld for. DANIEL HERR.
SUPERIOR1' Port wine, Madena and Lihnn
3 wine. Alao superior Brtndy and Gm, Lemon
yrup. Abo few barrel of Bir Fih. for al
, HENRV MAS6EB.
8abury, July 19th, 1M,
1
urn
SUNBUMY AMERICAN.
Ab.olute acquleacenca in the decision, of the
From tha Portland Transcript.
KTII W SPtKR-a riRT All LAST VI
SIT TO l-fKTLASIO.
Maine is a crreat State! There' no doubt of
it. It is farther "Down East" than either of
the twenty-six to say nothing of Texas and
California. It grows larger pine timber, and
more of it; the fittest hog, the largest squashes
nnd the prettiest girls in all creation are found
within its borders.
Speaking of this remind t's of our old friend,
Ethan Spike, up in Oxford county. Ethan's a
team altogether, and has ckinned more bears
than any other man in the State besides hold
ing a justice of the Peace's commission. A
few years ago he was a candidate for the Le
gislature, and during the etimpatgn found it ne
cessary to come to Portland. It was his first
visit to the city, nnd lie saw a good many
strange things nnd had a number of queer ad
ventures, all of which he afterwards related to
us. And although it may be a breach of confi
dence, we will venture to let the reader have
one of them as nearly as possible in Ethan's own
language.
Portland,' said he, 'is the all dnrndest place
I ever seed. 1 was down there in '33, to see a
little about my goin' to the I.egislatoor, end
such a rum time as I had you never heer'd tell
oi. Did I ever tell you about the ice-cream
scrape I had 1
We answered in the negative, and he resu
med Wal, I'd bin down thar two or three daya,
pokin' about in every hole an' corner, an'thought
I'd seed jist every thing thar was to be seed,
lint one day towards sun-dnwn I was going by
a shop in Middle street that looked wonderfully
slick there was all manner of candy an' pep
permints an' jessamin's an' what nots at the win
ders. An' thin thnr war ignn with good let
ters on to them, hnngin' round the door, telliti'
how they sold Soda, Mead, an' Ice-creiim thar.
I snys to myself, I have heern a good deal about
this 'ere ice-cream, an' now I'll be darned if I
won't see what they're made on. So I puts my
hands into my pockets an' walked in kinder
careless an' says to a chap standing behind the
counter
'Do yer keep any ice-creams here !'
Yes, sir,' says he, 'how much '11 you have V
I considered a minit an' eay I, 'a pint, sir. '
The young feller's face swelled out, an' he
like to hav' laughed right out, but arter a while
he asked
'Did you say a pint, sir 1
Surtin' saya I, 'but p'raps you don't retail so
I don't mind takin'a quart.'
Wal, don't you think the feller snorted right
out: Tell yer wh3t, it made me feel sort o'pi
eon, an' I give him a look that made him look
sober in about a minit, an' when I clinched my
fist and look so at hi.ii, (here Mr. Spike favored
us with a most diabolical expression) he hauled
in his horns about the quicke.-t, an' bunded me
a pint of the stuff as perlite as could be.
Wal, I tasted a spoonful of it, an' found it as
cool as the noth side of Dothcl hill in Jinooary,
I'd half a mind to spit it out, but jist then I seed
the confectioner chap grinnin behind the door,
which riz my spunk. Gall sma.-hitall, think
I, I'll not let tUt white-livered monkey think
I'm afeard I'll tat the darned stuff if it freeze
my in'ards. I tell yer what, I'd rather skinned
a bearor whopped a wild cat, but I went it. I
eat the whole in about two minit.
Wal, in about a quarter of an hour I began
to feel kiudergripey about here,' continued E
than, pointing to the lower parls of his stomach
'an' kept on feelin' no better very fast, till at !
last it seemed ng though Id'd pot a steam ingine
awin' shingles in me. 1 sot down on a cheer
an beul myxelt up like a nut-eraekcr, thinkin'
I'd grin an' hear it ; but I couldn't set still, I
twisted and squirmed about like an angle worm
on a hook, till at last the chap as in ne the
cream, hn had heen lookm' on snickerin says
tu me, '.Mister,' says he, 'wh it ails yer V
'Ails me!' says I, 'that ere darned stuff of
your'n is freerin' up my daylight,' saya I.
'YiU eat too much,' saya he,
'1 tell yer 1 didn't tcreatned I, 'I know what's
a'nuf an w hat's too tiuicli without askin' you,'
an' if you don't leave off snickerin' I'll spile yer
face.
He cottoned right doun, an' said he did'nt
mean any hurt, an' asked ine if 1 hadn't belter
take some gin. I tuld htm I would. So 1 took
a purl) good horn anil led the shop.
'Arter I got out,' continued Ethan, 'I felt bet
ter fur a ininnitor so, but I hadn't gone fur, a tore
the gripe took me agin', so I went into anuther
shop an' took some more gin ; then I st doun
on the State Douse steps an' then I sot an' sot,
but didn't feel daru'd a mite better. I begun to
think I wua goin to kick the bucket, an' then I
thought of father and muther an of old Spank
or that's father boss- snd when I thought I
should never see 'em agin, I fairly blubblered.
Out then 1 happened to look up an' see a dozen
boy grinin' sn'larfin'at ine; 1 tell yer what,
it riz my dander -that had got down below ncro
rite up agin. I eipung at 'em like wild cat,
hollerin'out that I'd shake their tarnal gizzardB
J out an' the way the littel devils scire pered wis
AND SHAMOKIN JOURNAL:
majority, the ital principle of Republic, f,om which
BunbUry, Iforthumberland Co.
caution to nobody. But after the 'citement
of the roco was over, I felt wus agin, an I
couldn't help groanin' 'an' screeching aa I went
along.
At last I thought I'd go to the theatre, but a
fore I got there the gripes got so strong that I
had to go behind a nieetin-'us an lay down an'
roll an holler. Arter while I got up an' went
into a shop un cat half a dollar's wurth of biled
sisters with four pickled cow cumbers and
wound up with a glass of brandy. Then I went
into the theatre and seed the piny, but I felt so
tarnally that I couldn't tee any fun in 'em, for
don't think the 'ister an' the cowcumbers dun
ine any good. I sot down, lade down un stotaJ
up, but still it went on gripe, gripe. I groaned all
the time, an' once in a while I was obleeged
to screech kinder easy. Everybody stared at
me, and somebody called out 'turn him out!'
once or twice. But at last just as the nigger
Othello was goin' to put the piller on his wife's
face to smother her, there cum sich a twinge
through me, that I r'ally thought I was bustin'
up, an' I yelled out 'Oh dear! oh scissors!' so
loud that the old theatre rung agin. Sich a row
you never seed: the nigger dropped the piller,
snd Deuteronomy or what you call her there
his wife jumped of? the bed un run, while e
very body in the theatre was all up in a muss,
some larfing, some swearin'. The upshot of it
was, the perlise carried me out of the theatre
un told me tn make myself sca'ce.
Wal, os I didn't feel any better I went into
a shop close by, an' called for two glasses of
brandy; arter swallerin it, I went hum to the
taverr?. I sol down by the winder and tried to
think I felt better, but 'twos no go; that bles
sed old ingine was still walloping away inside;
so I went out an' eat a quarter's worth more 'is
lers an' a piece of mince pie. Then I went
back an' told the tavern-keeper I felt kinder
sick, and thought I'd take some Caater He, a
mouthful of cold meat an' a strong glass of
whiskey punch, an' then go to bed. He got
the fixtns, w hich I took an' went to bed.
But, I tell yer what, I had rather a poor niaht.
Sometimes I was awake groaning and hollerin'
nn when I was asleep I'd better bin awake, for
I had sich powerful dreams. Sometimes I
thought I was skinnin a bear, un then by sum
hocus-pocus t'would all change lo 'tother side
too, nn the tarnal critter would be a skinin me.
Then sgin, I'd dream that I was rollin' logs
with the boys, an jest ss I'd bo shontin out
Now then! here she goes!' everything
would get revarsed agin I was a log un the
boys were prying me up with their handspikes.
Then I'd wake tip and screech and mar then
ofFto6leep agin to dream that Spanker had
run away with me, or that father was whopping
me, or some other plagyy thing, til mornin".
When I gut up I hadn't any appetite for
breakfast, and the tavern-keeper told me if I was
goin to carry on screaming and groanin as I
had the niy ht before, my room was better than
my company.
'I hain't,' said Mr. Spike in conclusion, 'I
haio't bin to Portland sence, but If I live lo be
as old as Methusalein, I shall never forget thut
all fired Ice Cream."
Something like a Newspaper Tne Lnn
c'on Times, the most influential newspaper in
England, was commenced by a joint stock Com
pany. On its first appearance it was a small,
dingy loaking sheet 5 into notice, it soon at
tracted public attention, and gradually increas
ed in siz", power and influence. The property
is, at ihe present tune, divided into twenty-four
shares, of which sixteen belong to Mr. John
Walter. The political opinion of the journal
are directed by the majority of votes of the share
holders; and thus, as Mr. Walter possesses
two thirds of the entire property, his voice a
lone controls the bias of the journal. The val
ue of the Times, in a . purely commercial point
df view, is 312 000 each share being worth
13,000. The annual profit of the Tunes is a
bout Xlo.OflO, of which Mr. Waller receives,
as his portion, JC:10,000. It goes on the cah
system and never grants credit to any one.
Every notice of a death or a marriage U
charged for the simplest announcement not
being inserted fir less than seven shillings and
sixpence, nearly two dollars. It is said (hit
Mr. Walttr gave hi daughter, as her wedding
portion, the profits ol the (list column tfut'ver
tisement in the first pae ul the jminal a
splendid fortune.
Ghais Crops in Rissia The St. Peters
burg Gait tie, of Iho 7th ol December, Contains
an Imperial order, permitting the importation
of wheat, rye, barley, out, flour, beans, peas
tod other similar product Irnm Prus-ia, free ul
duly up lo the 13th ..(September. 140 : and
ali-nun order declaring that in cons qoence of
lliedifl tency in Uih crops Hie Emperor will
only require for ihe coming year a levy of five
men in Ihe thousand.
Biblical Cckiositt. The 2 1st verse of Ezra,
chapter 7, contains every letter of the alphabet,
snd is the one thus dislingniied :
"And I, even I, Artaxerxes t'n King, do make
a decree to all the treasures which are beyond the
river, that whatsoever Ezra tbe Priett, the scribe
of the law of God of Heaven shall require of you,
It shall be done speedily."
there i. no appeal bat to force, the rit.l principle
Pa. Saturday, Feb. 14, 1S46.
The Death bed or Lord Os-rOti,
The following ia related by Mr. Barry, tbe
interview took place a few days before the death
of Lord Byron :
'It was seven o'clock in the evening when I
saw him, snd then 1 took a chair at his request,
and sat down at his bed side, and he remained
till ten o'clock. He sat up in bed, and was
then calm, collected. He talked with me on a
variety of subjects connected with himself and
family. He spoke of death also, with great
composure, and though he did not believe his
end was very near, there was something about
him so serious, and so firm, so resigned, and
so composed, so different from anything I had
ever before Been in him, that mind misgave,
and at times foreboded his speedy dissolution.
'Barry,' said he, when I fitst went to him,
'I have much wished lo see you t wlay. I have
had strange feelings, but my head is now bet
ter ; have no gloomy thoughts, and no idea
but that I shall recover. I am perfectly col
lected I am sure I am in my senses but a
melancholy will creep over me at time. The
mention of the subject brought the melancholy
topics back, nnd a few exclamations showed
what occupied I,ord Byron's mind when he was
left in silence and solitude. My wife I my Ada!
my country, the situation of thjs place my re
moval imposible and perhaps death all com
bine to make me sad. I am convinced of the
happiness of domestic life. No man on earth
respects a virtuous woman more than I do; and
the prospect of returning to England, with my
wife and Ada, give me an idea of happiness!
have never experienced before. Retirement
will be every thing tome, for heretofore, life
has been to me like the ocean in a storm. You
have no conception of the unaccountable
thoughts which come into my mind when the
fever attacks me. Eternity and spaca, are be
fore me; but on that subject, thank God, I am
happy and at ease. Tne thought of living eter
nally, o ngain reviving, is a great pleasure.
Chritianity is the purest and most liberal reli
gion in all the world ; but the numerous teach
ers, who are continually worrying mankind
with their denunciation and their doctrines,
are the greatest ene nies of religion. 1 have
read with more attention than the hall of them.
the Book of Christianity, and I admire the li
beral and truly charitable prmc plea Christ ha
hid down. There are questions connected
with this subject which none but Almighty God
can solve. Time and space, w ho can conceive
None but God on him alone 1 will rely.'
The Qrar. op Spain. It is stated in a foreign
journal that Isabella Maria would be taken, by
strangers, for a Nun : Her appearance is that of
a somewhat thoughtful, sickly girl, with a conn
tenance in which any traces of intcllectial superi
ority or intelligence would be sought in vain
Her education is deficient, but her memory re
markable. She i laid to be able to repeat verba
tim the whole constitution of 1637, which she had
sworn to observe ; but what above all things is re
markable in this Royal Lady, is her determined
and all-absorbing propensity for eonfectitnary
Her museum for these bagatelles extends its ram
ification into every department of the Palace.
The Queen herself is almost constantly eating
iweat meats, and w hen in good humor, which is
not always the case, she never fails to distribute
her comfits and sugar-plums with a liberal hand
amongst her ministers and favoiite. In the ear
ly and middle part of the last century, when the
powdered wig was an essential part of official cos
tume, every clergymen of consequence kept about
a dozen wigs, varying from each other in the ize
of their curls, and the nnmber of rows. Thus the
famous Dr. Tarr, when going on a visit, alwavs
put on a wig suited to the importance ofthebusi
nesa in which he was about to engage. The rus
tics of the little village of which be was irtcum
bent, all knew when he was coming down the
steps of the Rectory House, w hether or not the
doctor was on any particular husinesss, by observ
ing the size of bis wig and counting the rows of
cuils. Just in the same manner any strangers,
when they see the ministers of the Queen of Spain
leaving tbe Palace, can easily ascertain w ho are
the favorites, by counting the bags of sugar
plumbs, or the sticks of barley. sugar, which each
carries in his band. It will perhaps astonish
some of our reader to hear that the Spanish min
istry has been changed thirty-six times in about
ten years, chiefly through Ihe whispers of the
Camarilla; but we may presume to state, that
none of the member of the administration, though
deprived of their place, have been deprived of
their sugar-plumbs and barley-sugar.,
"Rn and Hi.ancme " These celebrated char
arters of Eugene Sue's Wanderirg Jew, are said
to be draw n from life. A Washington letter wri
ter states that Mrs. Niles, a French lady, wife
of Dr Nile of Massachusetts, and mother-in-law
to Eugene Sue, at present In Washington, has
two daughter, twin, young and pleasing girl,
of most amiable characters, snd resembling each
other in appearance most remarkably. These
girls are the original from whirh Sue drew his
chancier Rose and Blanche, and this circum
stance renders these little girls, scarcely twelve
years old, objects of (rest admiration
and immediate parent of de.potiam.-Jin aaaon.
Tol. C.o. 31Wbol Wo, all.
CAUDLE AGAIN. Punch's (London) Al
manac for 181ft, contain some more of the ad
ventures in life of the widowed Caudle. He
marries Miss Prettyman, is poor old Mrs. C. al
ways prophecied he would dot nd straight'
way -even before the honeymoon is over be
gins to show "No. 2" that she is to be Caudled,
and not to Caudle, and, in the course of these
twelve new chapters, furnishes forth abundant
proof that his "Nn. 1" had set him an example
which he meant to follow, by turning- the tables
on his "No 2."
Here are the first two chapters r
Mr. CAVDLIC'B BREAKFAST TALK.
CHAPTER I.
IIou Mr. Coudlt married Miss Prettyman,
and how he "nagged her to death.
When Harry Prettymsn saw the very superb
funeral of Mrs. Caudle Prettyman attended ns
mourner, and was particularly jolly in the coach
he observed that the disconsolate widower
showed that above ell men he knew how to
make ihe best of a bad bargain. The remark,
as tbe dear deceased would have said, was un
manly, brutal ; but quite like thai Prettyman
The same scoffer, when Caudle declared 'he
should never cease to weep,' replied, 'lie was
very sorry to hear it ; for it must raise the price
of onions.' It was not enough to help to break
the heart of a wife ; no ; the savage must joke
over Ihe precious piecf s.
The funeral, we repeat, wss remarkably
handsome; in Prettyman's words, nothing could
be more satisfactory. Caudle spoke of a monu
ment. Whereupon, Prettyman suggested
'Death fathering a Nettle,' Caudle the act
did equal honor to his brain and his bosom re
jected it.
Mr. Candle attended by many of his frfands,
returned to his widowed home in tolerable spi
rits. Prettyman said, jocosely poking his two
firgers in Caudle's rib, that in a week he'd look
'quite a tulip.' Caudle merily replied he could
hardly hope it.
Preityman's mirth, however, communicated
itself tn the company, and in a very little time
the meeting took the air of a very pleasant par
ty. Somehow, Miss Prettyman presided st
ihe tea-table. There was in her mdnrrer s
charming mixture of grace, dignity, and confi
dencea beautiful black swan. Prettyman,
by tbe way whispered to a friend that there was
jut this difference between Mrs. Caudlcand his
6ister 'Mrs. Caudle was a preat goose, where
as Sarah wnsa little duck.' We w ill notswear
thai Caudle clirf not f verhesr the word; fur a
he resignedly stirred hi lea, he looked at th
tarly nt the head of the table, smiled and sighed.
It was odd; but wMnen are so apt; Mis
Prettyman 6eetned as familiar with Caudle's sil
ver tea-pot, a with her own silver thimble.
With a smile upon her face, like the butler on
the muffins, she handed Caudle his tea-cup.
Caudle would, now and then, abstractedly cast
his eye above the mantlepiece. There was Mrs.
Caudle's portrait. Whereupon, Miss Pretty
man would say, 'You must take comfort, Mr.
Caudle, indeed you must.' At length Mr. Cuu
die replied 'I will, Miss Prettyman.'
What then passed through Caudle's brain we
know not; but this we know; in a twelve
month and a week from that day, Sarah Pret
tyman was Caudle's second wife. Mrs. Cau
dle, number two. Pocr thing!
CHAPTER II.
7ou Jlfr. Caudle leains lo shew snmcthing 'of
the r ie ml that s in him.
'It is rather extraordinary, Mrs Caudle, that
we have now been married four weeks I don't
exactly see w hat you have to sigh about and
yet you can't make me a proper cup ot tea.
However, I don't know howl could expect it.
There never was but one woman who could
make tea to my tatste, and she is now in Heaven.
Now, Mr Caudle, ht uie hear no crying. I'm
not one of ihe people to be melted by the tears
of a woman ; for you can all ciy all of you at
a minute's notice. The water's always laid on,
and down it ctuiies it a man only holds up his
fineer.
"You didn't think I could be so brutal t
Thai' it. 1 t s man speak, and he' brutal. It's
a woman's first duly to make a decent cup of tea.
What do you think I married you fori It's sll
very well with your tumbor-work snd such trum
pery. You can make butter -flies on kettle,
holders, but yi u can't make a pudding, ma'sm 1
I'll be bound not.
Of course, ss usual, you've given aie the
corner-roll ; because you know I hate a corner
roll. I did think you must have seen that, I
did hope I should not be obliged to speak on so
paliry s subject but It's no use to hope to be
amid with you I r-es that's hopeless.
And what a herring ! And you call it a bloa
ter, I suppose 1 Ha 1 there was a woman who
had sn eye for a bloater, but sainted creature!
she' here no longer. You wish shi was J
Oh, I undersisnd that. I'm sure if anybody
should wish her back it's but she was too good
for me. 'When I'm gone, Csudle' she used
lo say 'then you'll know the wi!'e 1 w as to you.'
And now I do know it.
'Here's the eggs boiled to a stone again I Do
yon think, Mrs. Caudle, I'm a canary-bird
PIROW of AnrrwmoiG
1 square I insertion, 0 M
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Every subsequent insertion, 0 S
Yearly Advertisements t one column, $25 1 bslf
column, $18, three squares, flit two squares, f 9 1
one square, $5. Half-yearly t one column. II
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$5( one squaie, $3 60.
Advertisement left without direction ss tn IhS
length of time they sre to he published, will be
continued until ordered out, ami charged record
inftly.
(jyBlxteen lines or lew mane a square.
be fed upon hard eggs 1 Don't tell me about
the servant. A wife is answerable to her hus
band lor her servants. It's her business to hire
proper people if she does'nt, sha's not fit to be
a wife. I find the money. Mrs. Caudle, and I
expect to find the cookery.
There you are withyoar pocke.t-hndlterchief,
again; the old flag of truce; but it doeVnt trick
me, A pretty honcy-moon 1 Honey-moon,
nonrensel People can't have two honey-moone
in their lives. There are feelings I find it
now that we can't have twice in our existence.
There's no making honey a second time.
No ; t think I've put up with your neglect
long pnough ; snd theres nothing like begin
ning as we Intended to go xm. Therefore, Mrs.
Caudle, if my tea isnt made a little more to my
liking to morrow and if you insult m with a
herring lilce that and boil my eggs that you
might fire 'em out of guns why, perhaps, Mrs.
Caudle, you may see a nan in a psfsion. It
takes a good deal to toose me, but wnen I am
up t say, when I'm up that's all.
'Where did 1 put my gloves ? You don't
know 7 Of course not : you know nothing."
Progt-eaa ot Kdacatloti.
"HENRY W1NFIELD wishes to inform
the citizens of Utica, that he has opened at No.
22 Post street, a
DOG SCHOOL,
where he will teach dog9 to go on errands is
correctly as any body ten years old. to dance
ss well as the most accomplished dancer, Waltz,
cut ihe Pigeon Wing, to count the number of
persons in the room, also to distinguish thenum
ber and color of persons present. Persons wish
ing to have iogs enter this echrKl, will plea e
apply immediately, aa it is the intention of Mr.
W infield at the end of the month after the dous
have entered, to give an exhibition. Specimens
can be seen at Mr. Winfield's residence."
i"rom this it will appear that the plan of Mr.
Winfield embraces some of the ornamental bran
ches as well aa those of more utility. In fact,
we have mare faith in his ability to impart the
former than the latter, for it is much easier to
give all kinds of poppyism showy accomplish
ments than to make them useful. Phila. Daity
Sun.
A Man with 145 Chii-ore!.-! The Worces
ter Shield, published at Snow Hill, Maryland,
gives the following account of an extraordinary
man, now living in Somerset 'County ?
"There is at this time, in the neighborhood
of Somerset County, Md., a gentleman named
Nelson, in his 9lt year, who ha 145 Children,
grandchildren and greatgrandchildren, now
living within the sound of his voice. In hie
own language, "he can stand st his door cn a
calm morning, and make everyone hear him
with the exception of three." He further says,
reasoning from what has oenirre d, "if bin life is
spared'five year lrngpr, he wiM have 200 in
stead of 145 Col'it'',al, immediately around
himM He yet renins the vifjor and activity
of youthis fond of Fporting, and often amuses
himself by hauling the cine and sometimes
stands for hours waist deep in the water with'
out experiencing any bad effect from it. Ho
lost his wife about three win'ers ago, with w in ni
he had lived in happy wedlock .ri9 years. It
has been 20 year since he has had any sickness
snd 00 years since he has required any physi
cian for liimself. He is quite a monument of
Antiquity, being perfectly fureiliar with the
scenes of the Revolution, during which time he
was engaged in the then profitable business of
oystering, and supplied Gen. Washington's
table with oysters at Mount Vernon, until his
death. He Iia9 frequently been in his house
and received the money for ihe cargo from the
great man own hand. He says it was his Cus
tom never lobuy leas thsn fifty bushels, part of
which his neighbors would get from him.
Too Bad, Rat.ey. Perhaps our readers may
have seen the joke annexed in slightly different
shape, before, but it is a good'un, lei w ho may
be the author. We'll venture a guess that the
ReveIlle has Ihe paternity of if.
A collector from tfle eiiy of New- York, ra
ther fastidious in his taste about what he eat
and drank, happened lately lo be on a tour
through Ihe Sucker State, snd stopping one da)
at rather a comfortable looking log house, he
inquired of a respectable looking eldery leJj
if he could procure dinner there.
Well,' says she, 'I think you may get it ra)
if you've gat enough t poy ilr it '
He showed her that the neeilful was n lis
possession, and she bade htm 'g't oti Ins ho-s
snd tote himself into the houhe.' II arcnrd
ingly did so, and sat himself duAn to await t
preparation. Everything was set out in per
focily good style, and he promised himself a
perfectrural feast. The hostess brought lf
a pan ot new milk to drink, and comnivne4
dipping it out into bowls with a gourd ;
filled her geusl'sbowl. she discovered that she)
had dipped up a small mouse, and taking bold
of it affectionately by the ia 'i, sh gntpped dowi
the milk off into his drii-,k
cjD. heaved a sym-
pathetic sigh, tossed it th .K thm window-
and exelsiming ,p n r Mt the twl be
fore the Yot k r
Whrtoid4m. Mid , ymi don't think lain
;n . drink that!'
. ''.nd why nut V inquired the hostess, 'Well (
.eclare t' you city folks sm't too n ce to live.
I our bov bless vou. don't mind 'am do inor'o '
,0 J they ur uequitoee.'