TKItMS OF THE AMERICAN.'
If. H. MASSER,
JOSEPH EISEI.Y.
") PvnLtmtn aub
K PNOPftltTOItl.
It. p. .missnit. Editor.
Office in Centre Allen, " 'Ae ar "f H- & M"'
ter't Slnre.)
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'TO MY OM COAT.
"IIY TIIK Al'TlltlR OK THE llnOStEIl'S N'fcT.
And must we part my goodf.ld friend?
Ah mi'1 it grieves mo sorely ;
lean no more thy tatters mend,
The stitches hold so poorly.
XVith patch on patch, for ninny a year,
I've kept thee snug together,
And chid in thee I hud no fear
For any kind of veher-
Thou wait iti' father's wedding coat,
And I have heard him mention,
lie wore thee, buttoned to the throat,
To eath the girls' attention.
For then the marti-il figure ste-od
In highest estimation,
No wonder with a coat so good
Jle raised their ailmiration.
Tive times in fashion thou hast been,
Twice turned and often 4mmleri ;
The like of thee I ne'er have seen,
Tho' now thy days have ended.
When first I wore thee "every day,''
It brought to mind, my mother ;
"Tim. save that coal," she used to sav,
"Thou'lt ne'er gel such anotlier.'"'
Yes'! f 11 preserve thy relics still,
And learn by that exanu.de,
My every duty to fulfil,
Tho' fate should on me trample.
A UV Fate.
An old Pole, "bet weecn Tf)andr0 years of
g was sent u.p to Hiack well's Island, pome
time shice, as a vagrant. IK; ctmld scarcely
speak a word ot English, and though he posses
sed a most soldierly antf commanding appear
O il I
ence.liis poverty, us a matter ofcourse, proven-
ted linn from attracting any attention. This
nan's bitery toenra villi events of the utmost
interest lie has acted a prominent part in the
most eventful period of the world's history. On
the breaking out of tho French revolution, he
traveled on foot from Poland to France joined
the Republican army, fought through every
campaign, was with Napoleon in all his great
battles, and received thirteen woindst Water
loo. After Napoleon's exile he returned to his
native Poland, where he labored hard for a li
ving until the breaking out of the last insurrec
tion in that country, which he immediately
joined, and through the whole of which he
fought with a valor and desparation bordering
on frenzy, until he fell at the ttorniing of War
paw, desperately wounded. Every male rela
tive he had earth was killed in that glorious
liut unsuccessful struggle, and he, iii Common
with several others of his unfortunate countrv
tiKin, was sent an exile to our shores. The old
veteran, finding it impossible to submit by any
rjther means, enlisted in thc Florida army,
and served his time out in that inglorious war.
After lus discharge he returned to this city,
where he rr"t robbed of the few dollars he pos
scssed, w hen feeling very unwell, he made ap- j
plication at the lower police office, for a permit t
to the hospital for a few days, when a commit
ment was instantly made out, and he was in
stantly sent tip here for tix months as a vagrant.
When the old hero arrived and fully realized
the degradation to which a whole life of patri
otism had brought him the heart which leap
ed with joy while death was dancing and whis
tling t nm ml it at Marengo and Austerlitz, sunk
within him, and livi wept prol'usedly as he view
ed the many scars he had received in Free
dom's service, at the heartless ingrotitudo id"
lier intended worshippers. His name is Bc
rrawousVy, and his time having expired eoie
weeks since, In: is no at liberty ; but the hero of
many wars, the soldier of many battles, and the
Furvivor of many fields of blood and carnage,
can never briHikthc recollection that he was a
llluck well's Is.atid iribmier. .Y. V. Sultcrrtc
nam. A Maie Mm.I'rcm A Charleston corres
pondent of the Columbia S. C Chronicle en
lightens the world with one or two anecdotes
of a dignitary of the former city, which os Dog
berry says, are 'most tolerable and not to be en
dured.' When Mr. Calhoun was recently on
his Way lo Washington, a meeting of the citi
zensof Charleston was called to make suitable
arrangements to receive him. It was proposed
by some gentlemen that the bust of him, by
Greenougl), now in Charleston, be purchased
by a subscription of the citizens. To this pro
position, a learned patrician objected, saying
that tho State had ordered a full length bust
of Mr. C and moreover that the short ttntue
waa inadequate to perpetuate the memory of so
reat a man. The tame genllvman being once
in company with Lord Morpeth, remarked to
his lordehip, "We ire very respectable people
hrref my Lord, most of ua Wn descended
irom the Jugsrnauts ,'"
9 msSB
SUNBUKY AMEMICAM.
AND SHAMOKIN JOURNAL:
A1"lule arn,"encJn the decisions of the majority, the vital principle of Republics, from which
Ily Masse & Elnr
From lire Baltimore Republican.
TIIK t,AT OP TIIK N ANTICOKKS.
AN INDIAN l.noEMD.
It hn long: been a matter "of astonishment to
mo, aa it thnuld I19 to any man claiming com
mon sense, to observe the waste of sympathy
on the American savage. It is a license grant
ed to poets and romancers, by universal consent,
to use the four expressive words, "I)! the poor
Indian !" It is all very well to incorporate in
a story the bearing of tho 'noble red mnn of the
forest" but When stern reality paints to our
imagination, in character of blood, the heart
less butcheries committed by them how they
steeped their hands in the gore of innocent and
defenceless women ahd children, we glow 6ick
at heart, and all sympathy fudos like mists be
neath a summer -Fim.
I maintain that there is not a noble trait in
the Indian character. "Sohlc son of the forest,"
indeed"! And what ate his noble qualities!
Those which prompt him nssassian-like, to bury
his tomahawk in the skull of a sleeping enemy,
or those wbo prompt him to tend the infant
from the mother's breast, and hang its scalp
irpon hm belt aa a trophy ! Truly, brave In
dian, what yourself and kind have done on tmr
Western boarders, m the 'dead horr of night,
should rear for you a never dying monument
in our memory.
I have 11 tale whicli T will give ns it was
given to me by an old soldier, whose thread of
life was cleft in twain some ten or twelve yars
ago, which will illustrate Indian chaTacter, in
a measure.
Any person who has ever travelled along the
Susquehanna river in the dead of winter, must
necessarily have observed the bleak and cheer
less aspect the country about Shamokin pre
sents at that season of the year and many a
way-worn traveller, before civilization spread
its broad penant in tliat region, fell benumbed
upon the crusted snow, and breathed his last,
and the howling blast sung rnsny a doleful
, .
dlrS over remains ere he was discovered
it was in thc depth of winter, and at a time
when but two hardy pioneers had ventured to
build their log cabins on the West Branch, that
a part of the tribe of Delaw are Indians, consist
ing of about two hundred warriors, with the usu
al accompaniments, settled where the beautiful
liorough of Lewisburg now stands, having left
the main Wly at the Delaware river, in conse
quence of scarcity of provisions. Their lodges
were reared, and preparations were made for
the grand buffalo hunt.
About two hundred miles up the river, lived
the ronumiit of a fierce and reckless tride, call-
j ed the Nanticokes, numbering six hundred men,
women and children. They were once a now-
crlul nation, but their treachery and subtlety had
rendered them outlaws to all other tribes. They
recognised no principles of virtue, and many a
"noble" warrior fell by tho war club, for ill
timed overtures to the wives of the ditVurenl
chiefs.
Intelligence having reached the Nanticokes
that the Dclawarca were encamped below,
they immediately destroyed their lodges and
took up their line of march, and in the cr.urse of
a week encamped on thc other side of the river,
immediately oppisite to the Delawares. These
lawless mid desperate characters were too well
known by the Delaware chiefs, who gave otders
that no intercourse or communication whatever
sliould be held by the outlaw. This was al
most a death blow to the Nanticoke braves, who
had come for the express purHse of having Zi
sons with the wives of the Delawares. How
ever, that low cunning of which the savage is
so excellent a master, was brought into requisi
tion, and they finally triumphed.
The refusal of the Dekwares to smoke the
ra!mnt ot peace, provoked tho Nanticokes, and
a council was called to form stratagems to a
venge tho insult. After a number ofchiefs had
given their opinion as to the most feasible man
ner of punishing 'heir neighbors, Chut-ta-w'ce,
a noble looking individual and a hear'.less liber
tine, (for tin fmlimi, ) arose, and w ith a voice
"double like the Dukes," ured that the most
satisfactory procedure to them, and the mott
excruciutiug lo the Delaware, would be to vi
oate their women. This proposition was made
in a grtve and solemn silence, but was reward
ed with such a yell cf approbation, as could only
emanate from Indians. So elated was Chut-ta-
wee that lie immediately pledged himself to
bring about the opportunity.
True to his word, he ckulked about the Dela
ware camp until he met a dark eyed dusky Do
laware maid, who alas ! poor human nature,)
was not able to withstand the honeyed accents
of the handsome Nanticoke chief, who wooed
and won, soon got from her all the information
as to their movements, &c, he desired. lie
found that great preparations had been made for
hunting in buffalo valley, and that they were
only waiting to see tho tracks of a herd when
business would commence. Chut-la-wee sr
tooV advantage of this information for n,e ver.
next night he lcUej
a o-
j oflli oompati-
ions, and in IK
course of ihe night succeeded
10
fMStipg artificial buflalq tracks, by punching
Sttnbnry, Northumberland Co.
through the crusted snow some three or four
miles tip the Valloy.
Early the next morning the loud yell ofre
joicing was heard in the Delaware camp, and
all was bustle and commotion. The quivers
were filled with arrows, ami every man who
could bend a ow started 0T1 the hfifit. Their
echoes had scarcely died away in the distance,
before the Narrticolres crossed the ice, and com
menced their work of uestrirctbn. The hunt
ing party had gone to where thetrncks ended,
when the deception flashed upon their minds
and with the fleetness of deers they returned,
their speed being augmented by the heart-rend
ing fliirieks of their wivesand daughters as they
........I I....:. I... I
1' uul " Wi" l" ,nlv u,elr y"a"Y
nnu ul'i'ii lousummnicu, anu uiey were nan way j
.u i.-r.r -,. .ropa t;,t,rc uic liters ruacueu
me iiiiiiK in 1113 river.
What a feeling for husbands, brothers and
fathers. Tho council fire blazed high in the
air -the chiefs assembled, and in each counte
nance was depicted anger, deep -and damning,
for thc tendcrett chord of the savage had been
severed, and the looka of every chief Feemed to
he a determination to drink deep of the Nauti
cokes' blood. In -silence tlutwiKicil soon ar
ranged the matter, for there seemed to 'oo but
one opinion on tho subject, and, although the
usual custom was to give time to their ilehheTa
tions, in half an hour the war dance was per
formed, the war whoop swelled the air, Mid with
firm and steady step they marched towards the
Nanticoke encampment. They knew they had
double their own force to contend against, but
the injury was so deep, the crime so b!ark in
their eyes, that each one seemed gifted with
super-human strength by the unseen Manyetto,
whom they worshipped.
The wiley Nanticoke? expected them they
were on the alert, and had prepared to meet
them, so that their coming was greeted R'ilh a
loud shout of derision. Ily common consent
they marched to the mouth of Chillisquaque,
(frozen duck) creek, both tribes reaving their
wives, and children, and aged warriors hi the
lodges.
On their way thither the Dela wares sang thc
legend of the battles they had gained the Nan
ticokes fang boastingly of the artful trick they
had played upon the Dela wares.
At length they reached the battleground, and
the fierce massacre commenced. lud were
the yells and groans of the wounded and dying.
Thc battle raged with savago fury, and the
sweeping wind bore the shouts along the river
like tho roaring surge of the ocean. Fiercer
and fiercer were the shols and J'flls but a
culm succeeds a storm fainter and fainter I
grew thc noise until all was quiet, and even,
the wind was lulled into a sleep. The works !
had been completed the Nanticokes were cx-
terminated, and only sixty of the two hundred
Dela wares remained. But they were not satis-
fied thry went to the Nanticoke lodges, mid
dragged the women, children nod aged war
riors to the gory field were they piled up the
IhmI ics of their slain enemies, and binding the
living tn them, logs of wood and pine faggots
were placed around them, the torch applied and
the dance of victory commenced, which lasted
long after night-tu!t.
As the blase ascended lo heaven Ihe pierc
ing cries of the suffers were drowned in thc vic
torious shouts of the sixty warriors, who never
stopped until the heap of dying and dead was
reduced ton pile of mouldering ashes, charred
hones and roasted flesh and thus passed Irom
the earth the last of ihe Xant frolics, just vic
tims to the avenjing power of the Almighty !
Baltimore, April 15, iMl. J.
The Rf.al Cim-iut. Tho last number of
Merry e Museum thus tells the story ot the
pearl necklace and the magpie's nest :
"A nobla lady of Florence rost a valuable
pearl necklace, and a young girl who waited
upon her was aeensed of tho thufl. Ah sho
solemnly denied the charge, she was put to the
torture. Unable to support the terrible inflic
tion, she acknowledged that she wa guilty, and
Without further trial was hung. Mmrtlv after
ward Florence was visited by a tiemend'Te
storm, and thunder bolt fell iihii a figure of
Jnstrec en a lofty column, and Split thc Kcules,
one ot'whrch fell to the earih, and n i.h it the a
rea ofa magprc'stiest containing tlie pearl neck
lace." John RANnoi.ru. Tho worlJ is full of anec
dotes of Mr. Handolph's sarcastic Immor, but
the following has not, to our knowledge, ap
peared in print : During one of the last years
of his life, Mr. R. was an attendant rm the ses
sions of the Virginia Legislature, when a bash
ful, back-country planter met '..o ccce-lrj0
rator in the lobby and -.'ueavore t0 jnulduce
himself. 'Mr. 7vitnjoIuh,' taiJ l0 luillUrnjj
and scran-.ng wjtn especial awkwardness, '1
live only filteen or twenty miles from you. I
pass your plajiUtiQn quite often.' 'Str,' said
John, rtgardtujf him from head to foot with
infipite scorn,' you are welcame to pats it as
often ai you please,'
there is no appeal hut to force, the vital principle and
Pa. Saturday, May n, mil.
THE OLD WOMANTS SPEF.CIT.
Hon. George N. Driggs, now Governor of
Massachusetts, delivered a tempernrrco address
rome lime since, in tho course of which he re
lated the following anecdote, with thrilling ef
fect; Mr. Briggs said this question (of the intro
duction of intoxicating drinks) assumed somo
what ola practical form, last spring in a thriving
birongh in Pennsylvania. The inhabitants, had
assembled, as was their usual cestoin, ta de
cide what fiumeer of licenses the town should
petition Trom the County Court, from whom
tiiey were issued. There was very full at-
tendance. One of tho respestoblo magistrates
1
of the borough presided, and nnon the platform
wt.c seated, among others, the -clergyman of
thc vj8gC) 0e of hiu d,.acon8) ftn,.thc ,ysi
After the meeting had been called to older,
one of the most respectable citizens of the bo-
rough rose, and after a sb:rt speech, moved that
the meeting petition for the imoal number of
licenses, for the ensuing year. He thought it
was not best to get f.p an excitement, by re
fusing to grant licenses. T-hey had better li'
cense poait men anil let tiiem sell, ttie pro
position seemed to meet with almost tiniversal
favor. It was s-? excellent a way to get along
quietly, and one and tlien another, in turn ex
pressed a hope that such a course would be a
dopted. The President was alxiut to .put the
question to the meeting, when an object rose hi
a distant part (if the bnililing, and all eyes were
instantly turned in that direction. It was an
old wormian poorly clad, and whose curewo
countenance was the painful index of no light
suficiingis. And yet there was simrelhing in
the Hash of her bright eye, that told she had
once been what she then was not. She ad
dressed thc President, and saM with his per
mission, she wished to say a few words to the
meeting.
flie had come because
she had heard that
they were to decide the licens& question. You,
snid she, all know who I am. You once knew
me the mistress of one of the bestestntcr; in the
borough. . I once had a husband and five sons;
and woman never had a kinder husband; mo
ther never had five belter, or more affectionate
sons. But where arc they now! Doctor,
where are they now ! In yonder burying
ground there arc six graves. Doctor, Imw
came they to be drunkards ! You would come
a. id drink with them, ami you told them that
temperate drinking would do them food. And
you, too sir, (addressing thc clergyman,) would
come and drink with my hu.sbi.nd ; and my eons
thought they might drink with safety, because
they stw you drink. Deacon, yitt sold theui
rum w Inch made them drunkards. You havi
J now gut my farm, uml all my property, and you
! got it all by rti'M
AnJ now she said, I have
j done my etrand. I go hack to the poor house,
or tliat is my nome. l mi, reverend Air, you
doctor, and you, deacon, f shall never meet aain
until ( meet you at the bar of (J.mI, where you,
too, will meet my mined an but husband, and
those five sons, who, through your means am.'
influence, fill the drunkard's grave.
The old wotna.i sat down. IVrdtt silence
prevailed, until broken by the president, who
rose to put the que.-tioii to the meetinj- "Shall
j we petition the court lo issue licenses to this
j borough for the ensuing year.'" ond then one
j unbroken "No!" which made the very walls re
j echo with the sound, told the result of Ihe old
woman's nppeal.
Stranok Anomu.v or Fvi:t.iv;s. The lot
lowing fact is related by Napoleon vvith refer
ence to one of his reat fietmns in Italy, when
passing over the field of battle before the dead
bodies had been iMtevred. 'In the deep silence
of a moonlight ng lit (said the Kmperor,) a dog
fenping sf.iMenly from the clothes ol'his master,
rushed upon us, and thenretnrned lo his hiding
place, howling pi'.eonrly. He slrcriif.lely Irrk
Vd his matter's hand, and ran toward us ; thus
at once soliciting and f'cktng revenge vvlivtner
owing to my own particular turn of mind at the
MU'rvtent, tt;e time, the pl&ce or the action itself.
I know not, but certainly tv incident on any
j field of battle ever produced so deep an ir.ipres-
s ron on me. 1 involuntarily stopped to content
plate the Kene. This man, thought I, hes
friends in the cHinp or in his wnnanr. and
hero he ies forsaken by all except his do-
What a lesion nature has presented Hire- e
medium or an animal ! What a ,, beiio
is man And bow n.ystor' ,,, are ni;'in)lr08'.
sions : i iittu, un
it cmotion'orilered battles
which wer?. i
j decide tti's fate of Ihia irmv ! I
ll d i '
"" .iicld with careless eyes the execution of
'.note operation by which number of my coun
trymen w'ere sacrificed, and bete fueling were
routed by toe mournful howling of a dog !'
A gentleman with a gin's c-'ye was about to
exercise the right of suffrage a short time ago,
when he wag accosted by a political opotient,
w ith, "I sy, master, w hat are you doing here 1
you can't vote, you're not natural eytt'J.' The
joke was taken in good part and created gen
eral merriment.
immediate parent of despotism. Jarmnso.
Vol. 4.o. 3.1 Whole No, ISO.
X nich Practical Joke.
A friend told us ajokeafew evenings ago,
and though it was told us in confidence we can
not Temstlhe tcmptatmn rif laying it befTre out
readers, let the consequence be what it may.
In the western part of this city live and flour
ish two jolly young fellows who follow sign
painting for a livelihood, and tvho-are pome-
limes in the habit of cutting up what are term
cd 'high shines.' It so occurred a tew days a
gothat'eneof the partners 'had some out door
busmccs toattend to.andlcft thesliop hi charge
of his partner and a little boy who was employ.
ed to grind painis. During bis absence, the
paUncr remaining went to work and painted
the boy's neck so aa to represent a laTge gash,
and a cut over the-eye. Ho tlren took red paint,
bespattered it over the floor and clotted the boy's
hair and made hint lay down in a ccrrrer. lie
then painted a great gash xn his own cheek,
bared his bosom, disordered his dress, dipped a
'liwg'bladed Vnire in a red Ttdl, and patiently
wai'r'd the coming'of his partner. Directly he
1wbtJ Timi a, the d.ior, tlie performance com
menced. The partner stuck his head into the
worn door; one glance was sufficient the boy
wasprosTrate on the floor, with his throat cut,
groaning and crying fmrrdcT chairs, tables,
benches, jngs, and paint pots, were strewed a
round the room in dire Confusion, while the mur
derous lookimg partner, "With the bloody looking
k n ft e in 1iis uplifted hand, was running through
the room uttering wild a-ml incoherent expres
sions. It was evident to the partner at the
!'.Kr that his partner had killed the boy. The
thtnglit was horrid. Swift as lightning he
flew to his father and informed him of the cir
cumstances. A iifinrner of friends were mus
h-red who repaired forthwith to the scene of
action. The crowd augmented as it nearod
thcbhop and in walked the whole poste but
w hat was their astonishment to find the boy,
without a mark of any kind, the room in perfect
order, no marks ot blood perceptible, and the
partner engaged 'in lettering a sign ! and ut
ter ignorance of any transaction of any Vind a
vowed by both him and the boy, to the other
partner's great mortification more especially
as the persons he brought there hinted to one
another that during 1iis ab-wneo he might have
indiitgeJ too freely hi "fire water!"
"Commomc en?7i.
SHORT T1UT EFFECT!: AT. Dl RECTIOXS
FOR VARIOUS ENDS.
to embitter domestic lite maintain your
(pinion on small matters at the point of the ba
ymct.
To Ffcure yonrs-eff against a candid hearing
call men hard names before you have signified
them.
I o Keep yourself in a stato ofdiscontent set
your heart on having every thing exactly to
your mind.
To involve yourself in inextricable difficulty
shape your course of action not by fixed pun
cip'cs, but by temporary expedients.
To provide for yourself abundant matter for
fchaine and Tepenlauce act under the influence
ot passion.
To die without ao:oiipl clung any tning
always intend to do something great hereafter,
but neglect the present humble opportunity of
usefulness.
To gain extensive usefulness seiee the pre-
sent oppei tun ity great or small, and improve
it tire utmost.
To govern children (and men too) commend
tiiem oftner than you blame them.
To be a kuccessful reprover first convince
men by substantial deeds of kindness that you
love them.
Tube always rontented consider that you
fc ill never in this life be free Trout annoyances,
and that you may a well bear them patiently
as (Vet ebont them.
When religion is made a cienire, there
nothing more intricate-; when a duty, thee is
nothing more easy.
We love women a little for what we do 'now
of them, and a great dual more for what, we Jo
not.
I.-t no man ever expect to prosper in thi
life, or gain thc respect und -dfcteem of others,
without anundeviatir.g cojtiC 0f integrity and
V'.iltie,
Never look for ancetor of your titles, in Ihe
imperfect records of antiquity ; look into your
own V irtues and tho history of those, who lived
to be benefactors of society.
The greatest pleasure of life is love, the
greatest treasure contentment; tho greatest
posaeission is health , the greatest ease is sleep,
and the. rent medicine a true friend.
A Heart. What a curious thing a heart is,
ain't it young lady 1 There is as much difler
ence in hearts as in faces. A woman' heart
is a sacred thing and full of purity. How
proud a man ought to be to have a pretty girl
love him, and tell him she loves him more than
any other. In't it so ladies! We might jy
of tho hearts as the old lady did of the first rab
bit she aver saw "La ! how very funny it is !"
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I . ! j
DINING WITH THE PRESIDENT.
Colonel Crocket gives the following account
of hit dining wilh the President :
"Well, I walked all round the long toble,
lodking for something thit I liked. At last I
took my aeat jist beside a fat goee, and I help
ed myself to as much of it as I wanted. But t
had'nt took three brtes, when I looked away, up
thc tablo, at a man they "called 7'asA (attache.)
He was talking French to a woman on t'other
side of the table. He dodged his head, and slm
dodged hcr's, and tlren they got drinking wine
across the table. Hut when 1 looked back a-
gain, my plate was gone, goose and all. No I
jist cast my eyes down to I'ethet end of lire ta
bio, and sure enovgls I eecd a white maw xlk
ingofi with my plate, t eays, 'Hallo, Mister,
bring back my plate.' Ho fetched it back in
a hurry, as you may think and when he sat it
down before mo, how do yon think it was !
Licked ai clean as my hand. If it wasn't, I
wish t may be shot. Says he, 'What will you
have, sirf And says 1, 'You may well say
that, after stealing my goose.' And he began
to laogh. Then says t, 'Mister, langh if ymi
please ; but I don't half like such tricks upon
travellers.'' I then filled my plate with bacon
and greens; and whenever 1 looked tip or dow n
the table, I held on to my plate with my left
hand. Wlren wo wcro all done Bating, they
cleared every thing oft the table, and took a
way the table cloth. And what do you think
There was another cloth under it. If there
wasn't, I wish I may be shot; Then I saw a
man corning along, corrying a great glass
thing, Willi a glass handel below, something
like a candlestick. It was stuck full of litlla
glass cups, with something in them that looked
good to eat. Says I, 'Mister, bring that thing
here !' Thinks I, let's taste them first. They
were everlastin' sweet and mighty good, so I
took a dozen of 'cm. Hldid'utl wish I War
ba shot."
A QtKE SraMox. Every number of the
Sunday Morning Visiter, published in tl. York,
contain a sermon ; but whether t h preacher
is a Christian, a Turk, or a Nothingarian, re
mains uncertain. He lakes h'rarext where ht
can find it. His last sermon is founded cn a
stanza of Dr. Oirdley, who died some yeare ago.
"When a few nioTe years are wasted,
When a few more springs are o'er.
When a few more griefs I've tasted,
I sliall fall to bloom no more."
And in moralising thereupon, h "urges pa.
rents to lake especial enre of thelr'c1iildrr ; to
keep their eons from writing poeTry till t'ncv can
read the Testament ; to give 'them a flogging
w hen they need it, and lethem go a fishing
occasionally, As to daughters, he. thinks Viiey
should be disposed of in the matrimonial market
as early as convenient, because, "goon after fiva
and twenty they fall to bloom no more ;" and
he adds, with great emphasis, "paint, gum,
whale-bone, bag' bristles, and falsa hair don't
make a lovely lass of sixteen out of an oil
maid, no how you can fix it."
A N KCllOTK
Take Yo-a Timk to Drt--The following
is a capital anecdote, which actually occurred
some yvsars since, in one cfxbe theatres in Dub
lin ;
During the Ycrfbrmoice of a play, that was
recourse never "repeated, the last scene wan
the doathef a p'iwcr'.ul monarch, who, in his
dying moments, was liictating his will such
an one ws to weeer-d him to the thrcne ano
ther wfcs to bo viceroy here another there
and In keeping with a king of eucIi vast pos
sessions, he consumed a great deal of tune in
dyinjr, o luuch so indeed, that one at least ot
the audience got out of all patience, and cried
out
I say, Mr. King there, 1 wish you'd die, ami
bad luck to ye for ye'll be after keeping us all
night here lo see the end of ye 1'
Tat Dooly ! howld yer tongue for a black5
guard,' shouted one on the opposite side of tin'
theatre, fiercely shaking a good shilalah et Mi.
Dooly 'howld yer tongue, I say, for a t!ul
guard, or I'll bate ye worse nor I did at Kil
larney fair.' Then turning to the dying mon
arch, bo addressed his majesty with the utmost
earnestness thus :
'Tak yer time to die, yer worship, if it be an
h:nir yet, and never a bit mind Tat Dooley, the
spalpeen beyant 1'
A travelling Yankee lately put up at a coun
try inn, where a number of loungers were as
seabled, telling large stories. After sKlmf
some time, and attentively listening to tlcti
folly, he suddenly turned, asked them how
much they supposed he had been oflred for ln
dog, which ho had wilh him. They all started,
and curiosity was on tiptoe to know ; one guess
ed five dollars, another ten, another fifteen, un
til they had exhausted their patience, when
one of them seriously aiktd how much he had
been offered. ".Yw ctf," replied he.