TEIUI9 OF THE " AMEltlCAlV."
K. D. MA8SER, 3 PmuHiM ass
JOSEPH EJSELY. $ pRoraiSToas.
H. B. Tf f SSKH Editor,
OJicein Centre Mr, in the rtar of H. D. Mas-
ter $ Sture.
THE AMERICAN" it published every Satur.
day it TWO DOLLARS per annum to be
paid half yearly in advance. No paper discontin
ued till a tii arrearages are paid.
Mo subscriptions received for a leaa period than
it mouths. All communications or letters on
business relating to the office, to insure attention,
must be POST PAID.
SUNBOTY AMERICAN.
rnicxs of adveiitisevc.
t squsre 1 insertion, . . . 10 60
1 do i do . . . 0 T5
I do 3 d. . . 1 00
Evry suWquent insertii n, . .0 3
Yearly Advertisementet one column, f6 half
column, $18, three squares, $!!( two squares, f 9 (
one square, f 5. Half-yearly t one column, ft 8 t
half column, f 12 t three squarea, $8 two aquarea,
$5; one square, $3 fiO.
Advertisements left without directions as to the
length of time they are to be published, will be
continued until ordered out, and charged accord
AND SHAMOKIN JOURNAL.
Absolute acquiescence in the decisions of the majority, the vital principle of Republics, from which there is no appeal but to force, the vital principle and Irnmediaie parent of despotism. Jirttaso.
My Manser & Elsely.
Sunbury, Northumberland Co. Pa. Saturday, August 5, IS 13.
Vol. 3 IVo. 45WUolc Xo, 119.
ingly.
CJ"8hteen lines make a square.
The Confession.
There's somewhat on my breast, father,
There's somewhat on my breast,
The lWe.lonir. day I sigh, father,
At night I cannot rent;
I cannot take mi rest, father,
Tho' I would fain do sn,
A weary weight oppresseth me
A weary weight of wo !
'Tis not the lark of roM, father,
Nor Ixck of wordly pear;
My lands are htonil and fair to see,
My friends are kind and dear ;
My kin are ri al and true, father,
They mourn to are my Brief;
But oh ! 'tis not a kinsman's hand
Can give my heart lelief !
'Tis not that Jenet's f.dse, father,
'Tie not that she's unkind;
Though busy flatterers swarm anund,
I know her constant mind.
Tis not her coldness, father.
That chills my laboring breast
Ii'h that confounded cucumber
I've ate and can't digest.
Blackwood' s Magazine.
BiAUTirrt.LT Patiiktic A country editor
thus gives voice to his sorrows, in "breathing num
bers" Oh. ever thus from childhood's hour,
Ve'e seen our fondest hoes decay ;
Ve never mixed a calf or cow, or
Hen that laid an egg t day,
But it was "marked" and took away !
Ve never f-J a fucking pig.
To glad us villi its runny eye,
But ven 't vos grown up f t and big,
And fit to roast, or Imil or fiy
Ve could'nt find it in the sty.
The Four Age of Maids.
A Germon writer, M. (I. Saphir, 6ays, maids
hove four ages, viz : the golden Irom 10 to 21,
the silver ace from 21 to 28, the plated from
2d to 35, and the iron age from 35 to the end,
In the golden age everything is golden gold
en lock, golden dreams, golden hopes, golden
thoughts, &.c. The voice sounds like virgin
gold, the heart is pure gold. The fact is they
have five bars of splendid gold, No. 16, 17, IS,
19, and 20 ; but alas ! but few of them carry
them to the mint of reason to have them coi
ned. .
When a girl is once three times 6even years,
the glittering gold is gone. Her early yeulh,
the dcjmnrr a la fourchctte of nature, is past ;
gir!tt of that age are no more kept like gold me
dals in morocco 1kxcf, Lut commence like sil
ver, to circulate among tho people. The se
ven years Irom 21 to 2S, are employed in an in
cessant war upon the brutes, who but too fre
quently imitnte the example of Frederick the
(ireut, and await the assault behind entrench
ments. Girls are morit interesting at thatage.
Instead of imitating the larks, in soaring so
high that but fev may hear them, they take
their flight nearer the earth, like swallows in
rainy weather. In that age they are the most
amiable, and have the best opinions ot men ; ot
course they are on that account most easily ca
ged.
The plated age is from 28 to 35. Gold and
silver are gone, and they resort to the various
processes of gilding, silvering and plating.
They are less piquant and more piqued. They
look upon men with a considerable mixture of
contempt and hatred. They become again re'
served and prude. If they have affections, they
are at best plated ; they may endure, if of good
workmanship; but they have not the value of
either gold or silver.
The iron age is the universal death of sen
timent The thirty-fifth year is the equator of
human life, which divides it into the Southern
and Northern hemisphere. On the Northern
there is no Paradise for girls. They now write
their farewell letters to all hopes and wishes.
They conform to iron necessity, and resign
themselves to the iron tooth of time, awaiting
the day when gold, silver and iron, will have
no sound, and nought but the soul ever young
and fresh shall rise from its iron casement
History or the Influenza- In 1560 it pre
vailed in Europe, and is spoken of as a pestilen
tial and epidemic cough. In 1713 (just a cen
tury since) it prevailed the world over, and re
ceived ita present cognomen. In many dis
tricts in Europe scarcely a family escaped. It
appeared in April and went oft in June. It
svas never fatal, except to aged persons, or
those affected with pulmonary disease. The
French called it La Grippe hoarseness. It
anoe.rod anain in Europe and America, as we
learn from a writer in the Try Whig, 1702.
Also 1772, when dogs and horses were also ul
3icled. In 1762 it was equally univerbal, and
followed aevere atmospheric changes. It met
its victims on land and sea. In St. Petersburg,
40,000 were affected by it in one day. In 1630
it appeared again, and was followed by the r'uo.
lera, Iu 1833 it succeeded that fearful die
aa, Iu progress is like that progress of most
ipidtraiea, from east to wast, and is preceded
ty great atmospheric changes.
TUB RUINS OF POMPKlt.
C3 A correspondent of the N. N. Tribune, who
is travelling in Italy, thus describes his visit to the
ruins of the city of Pompeii :
We at length reached the gate of the ancient
city, where we left our carriage, and commen
ced the strangest city promenade I ever made.
We first entered the house of Diomed, one of
the aristocrats of the city. We descended into
the damp, dark wine cellar, where the bones of
his family were found, whither they had fled
for safety from the storm of the ashes and fire
that overwhelmed them. There, against the
sides of the wall, amid the earthen wine-jars
that still stood as they did on the last day of
that wild tempest, was the shape of the out
stretched arms atid the breast and head of her
who hnd fallen against it in her death-agony.
Nothing remained but the bones and jewels to
tell the sad story of her torture and suffocation
in that dread hour. But I cannot go into de
tails. They have been written over a hun
dred times. There were baths, and dressing
and dining rooms, and work-shops, and wheel-
worn streets, where the living multitude had
moved and luxuriated and toiled. We saw
tombs that were themselves entombed. We
saw the room for washing the dead, where the
living were suddenly buried unwashed and un-
coffined; the beer-shops, with the mark of the
tumblers still fresh in the smooth marble ; the
mills-stones that still turned to the hand in the
self-same way they turned nearly two thousand
years ago. There too was the brothel, and
theatre, and daneing-l.all. The secret
orifice through which the priest sent his
voice to the statue, to delude the people into the
belief that Rod had spoken, was now disclosod.
I walked through the house of a poet, into his
garnished sleeping apartments, forming, in their
silence, a part in a greater drama than he had
ever conceived. I stood before the tnvern with
the rings yet entire to which the horses were
fastened, and where the bones of a mother and
her three children were found locked in each
other's arms. Temples were overthrown with
their altars. The niches in which stood the
gods were left empty, and the alters before
them, on which smoker! ihe sacrifice, were si
lent and lonely. Columns fallen across each
other in the courts just as that wild hurricane
had left them, pieces of the architrnvo blocking-
tip the entrances they had surmounted, told
how fierce the shock and overthrow had been.
One house was evidently that of a remarkably
rich man. Mosaic floors representing battle
scenes, precious stones still embedded in the
pavements of his corridors, long colonnades.
and all the appurtenances of luxury, attested
the unbounded wealth of the owner. But no
bodies were found in it. The rich man had
fled with his portable wealth before the storm
came. We passed through the temple of Ju
piter, the court of justice, the forum, the mar
ket-place, and emerged into the country,
I mounted an old wall, covered with earth,
and looked back on the disentombed city, and
beyond on Vesuvius. There it stood, solemn,
grand and lonely, sending up its steady column
of smoke, a perpetual and living tomb-stone o-
ver the dead at its feet I could see the track
of the lava on its wild and fiery march for the
sea, and could imagine jus, how the cloud of
ashes and cinders rose from tho summit and
came flvinir toward the deserted city. Foot
after foot it piled itself in the streets, over the
thresholds, above the windows, and soon till it
reached 20 or 30 feet above the tops of the hou
ses. I could behold the sea where the young
er Pliny came, and, impelled by t fatal curios
ity, would land, till, blinded and suffocated, he
too fell with the victims that perished.
From this we went to the amphitheatre.
where the gladiatorial shows were held. H is
a magnificent area of an oval form, and suffi
ciently capacious to hold 15 or 20,000 specta
tors. There were the dens where the lion
were kept, and there the very ateo in which
men fought and fell. I stood at one end and
shouted, and the answering echo came back
clear and distinct as a second voice. It en
hanccd the solitude. Some have imagined lha
spectators were assembled here at the time of
the overthrow of the city, and as they felt th
first alepofthe mighty earthquake that herald
edits doom, they rushed in dismay from their
seats. But this could not be, for Pompeii did
not fall by an earthquake, and the mountai
long before the eruption, gave ominoua sound
of the coming blow. Dio relates that spectres
lined the summit of the mountain, and unear'k'n.
ly shapes flitted around its trembli;, sides.
Tii is was doubtless the mist boil!,,g up from its
confinement through the e.Vacks and shooting
into the upper air. 7'liny himself says in his
epistle that he. uw from Misenus, 15 or 20
miles diitnt from Naples on the other aide, a
e'oud rising from the mountain in the shape of
a pine tree, and shortly after embarked for the
city. The groaning mountain was reeling a
bovethe sea of fire that boiled under her and
struggled for freedom. It was not a lime for
amusement. Terrified men and women ran
for the sea that also fled back affrighted from
its shores, so that even Pliny cotild not land
before the city, but was forced to proceed to
Stabitc. The bellowing mountain, the sulphur
ous air, the quivering earth, would not let a
ityeven so dissolute as Pompeii gather to
places of public amusement Consternation
reigned in every street, and drove the frighten
de inhabitants away from their dwellings. This
is doubtless the reason why so few bodies
were found. Those that perished were slaves
or those who tarried till some falling column or
wall blocked up their path, and the descending
cinders blinded their sight as they groped about
for a way of egress. Fear and darkness (for
day was turned into night,-) might have enthral-
od others beyond the power of moving. And 1
was standing on the same pavement those terror-stricken
citizens stood on two thousand
years ago, and was looking on the same moun
tain they gazed on with such earnest inquiry
nd fearful forebodings. Then it rocked and
swayed and thundered before the pent-up for
ces that threatened to send it in fragments
through the heavens. Now silent and quiet it
stood on its firm base. Yet to me it had a mo
rose and revengeful look, ae if it were conscious
of the ruin at its feet.
The excavations are more extensive than I
supposed, and the e fleet of the clear light ot the
sun and the open sky on the deserted pavements
is peculiar and solemn. A visit to it is an epi
sode in a man's life he can never forget. An
old column or a broken wall left ofa once popu-
ous city interests us. We stand and muse
over the ruined pile till it becomes eloquent
with tho history of the past If one single
complete temple be found, how it increases the
interest. But to wander through a whole city
standing as its inhabitants left it in their sud
den fear, increases tenfold the vividness of the
picture. The little household things meeting
yon at every turn, give speciality to the whole.
As I strolled from apartment to apartment, I
almost expected to meet someone within the
door. I felt like an intruder as I passed into
the sleeping rooms of others as if I were en
tering the private apartments of those who
were merely absent on a ride or a visit. The
scenes were familiar, and it appeared but a
abort time since the eyes of those who occupied
the dwellings rested on the same objects. In
turning the corners of the streets it would hard
ly have surprised me to have met the inhabi
tants just returning and looking on me as a
stranger and an intruder. It required an ef
fort to convince myself that these streets and
these dwellings were thronged and occupied for
the last time nearly 2,000 years ago. I assure
you the struggle was not to call vp the past,
but to thake it off and when 1 finally 6tood
at the gate and gave a farewell look to the
lonely city that faintly slione in the light cfthe
setting sun, a feeling of indescribable sadness
stole over me, and I rode away without the
wish ever to sec it again.
A Discovert of an Original Pictvre by
Ri'df.ns has been recently made in England,
says the Boston Transcript, under somewhat
singular circumstances. At a sale of the ef
fects of a deceased gentleman in Sheffield, a
picture- was put up in which there was no
figure apparently discernable, but which, after
some hesitation, was knocked down for Is Od
It was afterwards purchased of the buyer for
5s., and the new possessor proceeded to wash
it, which caused several of the figures to appear
while wet This led to a resolution to send it
to London to be cleaned ; and the old varnish
being removed.it turned out to be a very fine
old picture. It was returned to Sheffield, with
an offer of 160 guineaa for it, and the biddings
have since advanced to 350 guineas, at which
price, however, it is not to be had. The pic
turo consists ofa fine female figure, standing
upon a car drawn by a lion. One child nestles
in her bosom, others cling to her robes, others
follow herear, while one rides a lion. Severs
other refund little ones, with cherub wings, fly
about her. The style of the painting, and
some other internal evidence, have satisfied
several eminent connoisseurs that it is a ger 0.
ine Rubens; and this is confirmed by an (,ld
etching of the picture, which is called "The
Triumph of Christianity, by Rubens."
Unnatural Ce CfXTT An advertisement
appears in tl,0 New York Sun, wherein the
writer cts forth a case ot oppression and cruel
' on the part of the lair sex, of which we think
the civil authorities ought to take cngnizsnce.
He saya that "after walking with a ludy from
Fourth street to Union Park and back several
limes, and going to church in the evening, and
then to see her home, when we got there, I ex
pected her to ask me in to rest myself but no;
what do you think she said J 'twill not ask
you in, became I know you are tired, and
have a long walk before you: H The adverti
ser appends the request that Ihe editor of the
Sun would publish hia statement, "as possibly
aha may Uke the hint, and never aerve another
person so."
filekens and his Slanders.
The Philadelphia North American adminis
ters to Mr. Dickens, in the annexed article,
a well merited enstigntion for the slanders on
this country contained in the last published
number of his "Martin Chuzzlewit":
We have placed norm our first page an ex
tract from the new work of Mr. Dickens' Mar
tin Chuzzlewit, brought by the last steamer.
It will be remarked that the excellence of the
ketch of the American manners which it con-
tains ia endorsed by the Britannia, a bigoted !
ar.d virulent Tory paper. Mr. Dickens, as a
professed friend of the people, and of that po'i- :
tv. whatever name it mav tuke. vl.ich secures
to each individual of the community the largest
share of right and weal, must be gratified doubl
es?, at the endorsation of such capital authori
ty as the Britannia newspaper.
At home, Mr. Dickens has endured, as every
aspiring young man must in the progress of his
career, the silent neglect, or what is worse, the
active patronage of the aristocracy. He has
fel? his dignity as a man, the heaven de
rived and aspiring man, assaulted and wound
ed by musty and barbarous usage. He has
seer, not merely the corpse, but the strong
panoplied active body, and powerful spirit of the
Norman conqueror and his barons, riding over
the genius of the nineteenth century. He has
seen at home merit tremble, cringe and starve,
while rank has been fed and pampered by
means wrung out of the despised people. The
veritable Charles Dickens the man who wrote
poverty's and humanity's sad drama, Oliver
Twist who is known wherever the English
language is spoken, by virtue of his own mind
not the beggarly, social almsman of a departed
ancestry not the retrospective appendix of a
family vault supported by gilded coffins not
these but a primitive identity who stands erect,
self-relying, self-supported, a thinker and an
actor in his own age a fountain of truth for
the living, not a spunge of folly from the dead
this man Dickens, so armed and incited, has
seen himself looked down upon as inferior, if
seen at all, by the artificial creations of Kin?
and Iiord. So regarded at home, but writing
for the people, he earned a reputation which
echoed to this country, and rebounded across
the Atlantic with redoubled power.
After Mr. Dickens had been rendered illustri
ous, partly by our applause, he came among
ua v nen was me pen ever so nonoreu : iiik
.... i j. i i-
shed triumphed for once over blood-shed, the pen
overcrowned the sword. The author became
the hero. A trad ng population a yard stick.
pound weight, cent per cent, community, left
off measuring, weighing, and calculating, for
got for the ounce staples and dollars, to do ho
moge to simple, manly genius, that had no
thing to bestow but its intellectual riches. A
great theatre was thrown open. Ait, poetry,
living beauty, political and military dignity,
civic worth, all contended therein to do him
honor. There waa no patronage for him. It
was homage. Who is there h"re to assume a
social apex, and sojiint approvingly on original
genius? That Mr. Dickens did not find. He
went to Washington he found the President
living like other people, and he was received
as an equal. Doors flew open to him hospi
talities, friendly acts and counsels every where
attended him. If his books had been before
bim, and he could not travel incognito, why did
ho write them!
But for the sequel. The man so situated at
home, and so trested here, pretends to prescribe
local manners whxh ho had no opportunities
of studying. Guided by the spirit of gratitude
he would have beeti tolerably safe. lit paint-
ing the arcana of private life, a tolerablo kind
view of it a philosophical understanding of
its good points and its foibles, would have se
cured him against his error. We uo not hesi
tate to say that the sketch of the "geiitetlest
society" of New York, put forth by Mr.
Dickens, is as untru, a fact as it U ungrateful
in spirit, and koines from him, of all men, with
most unseemly grace towards the people of that
splendid city, who treated him so nobly. We
have been occeaionally in New York society,
and never witnessed such flaming vulgarities
as Mr. Dickens depicts. We never saw young
ladies in indecent positions in rocking chairs,
or heard their fathers twadding to Ilnlishmen
about 'nature's noblemen,' and so forth. We
never saw a militia 'general' behave like a
blackguard in that society. All ull is carica
ture. An ungrateful heart dictated the w hole
of it.
We do not hesitate to ssy that Mr. Dickens
was very, very seldom, if ever, offended by per
sonal or national allusions while in this coun
try. On this head we quote the following,
from Mr. Buckingham, a British authority.
Speaking of Canada, he says:
'Every opportunity is seized of disparaging
America and the Americans, and speaking of
them with unmeasured contempt. Indeed, 1
heard more of thu feeling expressed in Toron
to towards the institutions and people of the
United States, in our short stay ol'threc week,
than I had heard of censure or condemnation of
English institutions and English people during
all the three years that we have passed among
the Americans. We heard
more abuse of America and the Americans,
from the mou'hs of British Canadians in a few
weeks, than we have heard of England or the
English in the United States during as many
years."
Mr Dickens would have thought more of the
Americans if they had thought less of him,
nl' very easily rained it would seem, by
"me fatal rule, is little prized. Mr Dickens
cannot overtop the edifice of courtly conven-
nonaitsm. IV.sst as he rmv, he has not arrived
fit that point when he ran philosophically look
at Man as heaven has 'nado him. and no ns he
is enric itured by institutions. Here, Mr. Dick-
ens found nothing to look up to. A prosit
number of facts and but few evnilm's met his
view. He is not the firt-t fnre'irtier who ha
been in similar dilemma. The head will crow
dizzy if on an unaccustomed height, no matter
how many heads are in company. The charac
ter of Mr. Dickens is fixed. He cannot get
over the influences of his rducatien. lie looks
up to established rank. Finding none univer
sally recognised here, he was at a lo.e; he can
not now reconcile himself to tho fact that hu
man nature is self-honored.
If his object be to degrade mr.n simply as
such man without title or family he is in
a fair way of succeeding if he persists in utter
ing his views of a society which he hardly ever
saw. His observations were confined princi
pally to the pig in the gutters of New York
and tnthe imported misery of Five Points.
We have no quarrel with Mr. Pickens. We
wish him a less ticklish position than that
which he holds among the great, so called, of
his own hiH,l. He has !ot the genial admirinjr
sympathy of this country, and perhaps he may
take re'tige in the smallest favor thankfully re
ceived, such as was bestowed on Mr. Bulwer
when he obtained a Baronetcy.
Hammeri.no orr Danish. In the settlement
ofa case at Rngor, relative to an estate in St.
Thomas, a document was produced as evidence,
which was written in Danish, and contained
40 foolscap pages ; but there were none who
eouU translate it. It was sent to Mr. Burritt,
of Worcester, known as ihe learned lllacksmith,
who returned ii translation of it, w hich is srxv
ken of very highly by the ediior of the Whig.
In a letter, Mr. B. remark that the translation
cost him twelve days hard labor, for which he
presumed the sum of $1? would not be on un
reasonable compensation, as that would be "a
bout what any other blacksmith would charge,
provided he could do it with the hummer and
tons.-'."
I.NOENiots Deviceof aConvictto Proctre
his Pardon. The following letter from a con
vict in the e'ing Sing Prison, to a comrade of
his in this city, was found ia a bag in his cell.
We publ sh it trrhatim.
Here Frend git up a pcrtition this way for to
have Sundoy School and Bible classes and our
I.ybrary of Books A gane te'l them that you
want to lay before the inspector of the Prison
git printed bed for it 20 or 30 and bond it to
different Ministers of churches and tel them
that you will call on them Tor it at sntch A time
and w hen you git 8 or fore Ihi nsarid signers
t'ike rf thein heds and pvit them. All to pethar
and then poot A bed on A copy ot my trial and
then go to Judge l.itv.s'u Jmliic Sanilford Jtnlgr?
Morris the Mure, RnJ the Jnree that convicted
me you can rind out wrwe they Live by my
lndictrr,pii hot ri thom AH to sifn it before
yoi poot my cae to it. . Y. pprr.
An Enoi i-h General I'm n i i km k O
cotlagt window near P'vio-' t'.- f i. -
in rr ; "I P,ui-li C. 'iv 'i, rv"i'''-Mi!t
Smith, taclieth yong (irls and Buoys toiade
and rile dale'h in mole cntuhiU nhugar plums
rinh-lites, coine!, mole traps, moue traps, spring
guns, and all other sich mattersteeth distract
ed, blid drawn, blisters. Pils, mixture maid,
also nails, and bosses shoed, h pome salts, and
enrnes cut, and nil other tilings on rasoiiatiie
Tiirmes. N. B and also my Misses goe out
has man whidwife in the cheepest way posu
hie." Dub. Mfd. Press.
Franklin and Greene. While tho Ameri
can Army, in 1773, wasbesieging IWtoti, Con
gress sent to the camp a special committee, at
the head of which was Dr. Franklin. Gen.
Greene, in a letter dited "Prospect Hill, Oct.
10, 1773," and addressed to Gov. Ward, thus
describes the impression which this great phi
losopher made upn him : "The committeo
from Congress arrived Inst evening, and I had
the honor to be introduced to that very great
man, Dr. Franklin, whom I viewed with silent
admiration during the whole evening. Atten
tion watched his lip, and conviction closed his
periods." Beautiful tribute ot one great man
'o another, both of whom were among the fore,
most in liberty's great struggle, and both fra
grant with revolutionary jeuowa.
Short Skntence from Good Thinkers.-
Moderation is the ailken siring running through
the pearl chain of all virtues.
A mother-in-law sermon seldom takea well
with an audience of daughters-in-law.
Pastime, like wine, is poison in the morning.
He that is proud of the rustling of his silks,
like a madman, laughs at the rustling of his fet
ters. God is better lodged in the heart than in
great edifice?.
Emulation looks ont for merits, that she may
exalt herself by a victory ; envy spies out ble
mishes, that she may lower another by t de
feat Histories make men wise; poets, witty ; the
mathematics, subtle; natural p'iilooihy, deep;
morals, grave ; logic and rhetoric, able to con
tend. '
That man has too high an opinion of himself
that is rnly afraid of thunder and o! earth-
qua k"8.
losses sre insufferable to those who are not
accustomed to lose.
Virtue dwclis not upon the lip of the tongue,
but in the temple of a purified heart.
Ttic Force op A r petite. The Richmond
Star states that a woman in that city came so
near dying from intemperance that her friends
had a shroud made for her, presuming that she
could not live long. She, however, recovered,
and the first tiling she did was to hasten and
sell the throudfor liquor !
Qviet Mvrder. The New Mirror gives a
recipe for killing a woman quietly. Take a
young lady, and tell her that she has a pret
ty foot. She will then wear small thin shoes
gor.ut'in the wet catch a cold the cold will
become a fever arid she will die in a month.
Better than Medicine. 'I have been doc-
tering myself,' said a languid fair one, with a
smile, to a bluff, though kind doctor, who was
feeling her pulse
Ah, how T
Why, I have taken Brandreth's pills, Parr'a
pills, Stainburn's pills. Sands' Sarsaparilla,
Jayne'a Expectorant, used Dr. Sherman's Lo
zenges and Plaster, and '
'My God, madom,' interrupted the astonished
doctor, 'all these do your complaint no good.'
Not then what shall I take V pettishly in
quired the patient.
'Take !' exclaimed the doctor, eyeing her
from head to foot. 'Take!' h exclaimed again,
ofler a moment's reflection; 'take ! why take
off towr corsets .'
Precocity Produced by Kdi'cition. Wa
believe the following belongs to John Neal :
The hot house system of education is doin
wonders for the youth of our land. The boy
kicks off Ins diaper and frock, and jumps into
call-skin boots and a long tail coat.
lie changes the nipple for a segar, and the
sugar teat for a quid of tobacco.
The girl is either a baby or a lady. Sha
makes one jump from her nurse's arms into her
husband's and of course is finished.
The Last and Best. A correspondent of the
New York Spirit of the Times, says : "Sam
Laughman's last is right good. A chap walking
out, came across 'old Mose' sitting in the broil
ing sun, fishing. 'Well, M.we,' said he, 'what
in the world are you doing thar V 'Fiffm !'
(fishing.) 'What V 'Fiffm !' Tithing well,
what's the reason you cau't t ilk ? what's ! i mr
mouth !' 'Oh, nuffia but tcums (worn !'-r
bait!' I halloed for old Izaak, when Sim a
pened his 'wum' box.
AnvnoNri The "Fair One," t!ir Vices'
n , The Forum says "If fair on"- run af
t.T Mi .-tiV they must expect to be hImV.Jj-
tie-.l."
Pimno I P the Aoony. "The forked light
nings illuiniimted the vaults of heaven peals
of thunder shook the earth tho wind racked
the moii'it'iitis, and the rain descended in such
torrents that the ducks could swim in the gut.
I.iufrty- Liberty ia to be the collective bo
dy what health id in every individual body.
Without health no pleasure can be tasted by
man ; without liberty, no happiness can be en
joyed by society. Bolingbroke.
It was a proverb of Anarcharsia, a Scythian
philosopher, that the vine bore three branches ;
first, plea.ure ; secondly, drunkenness ; third
ly, disgust.
Bv constant temperance, habitual moderate
exercise, and unaffected honesty, you will avoid
the fees of the lawyer and the sheriff, gain a
good report, and probably add to your present
existence at least ten years of active life.
Burke once remarked to Garrick that all bit
ter things were h"t. "Ay.'said Garrick, "what
do you think of bitter sU weaUuer V