Trims or tub "amkicciax."
H. I). MAiSSER, i Puansmins ab
JOSEPH EISEI.Y. S
tl. It. .W..VSKf, Kdttor.
Office in Centre Alky, in the rear vf U. D. Mat
trr't Store.
THE" AMERICAN" is published e very Satur
day hi TWO DOLI.AKS per annum to be
paid half yearly in advance. No paper discontin
ued till am niTcaragcs are paid.
No subscription received for a less period th in
six mouths. All communications or Icttcra oti
business relating to the olfii c, to insure attention,
must i.e roar paid.
Ym Southern Liferary Mrimtger.
HOW TO COOK POTATOKS.
WAi them clean nnd tske tl skin off,
One water never is enntieh ;
Take the eyes nnd nubbins thin olT,
And every little spcik that's rough.
Do not lot them lie in water,
(So the nice observer say )
Not minu'e not a quarter,
Thul will t'ikc the taste avny.
When t'ie lire i 1iti'n;ncr brightly,
An.l the water' hoilinc hot,
Sprinkle table fall in liahllv.
Then put the kidneys in the pot.
EiuMcen minute ometimcs twenty,
Cook' Ihern ni -etv to n turn ;
Some any mote, hut that is p'etity,
Every one must live and learn.
Pour the water otT. nnd ret them
On hot co.d that they nny dry ;
But. merry on me ! do not lot them
Burn, or into pieces fly.
Some prefer them whole at table,
0!hers mash them in the pot,
With butter thai is execrable,
And truly you had belli r not.
How ?r andalou it is to bake them,
How bnrbarous to fry them brown.
How scandal like in balls to mnke them,
And with the hand to pat them down.
The only way. if yon ; mash them,
I) with milk, that' new and sweet
Then with the l.idle quxk ship dash them,
If you want them fit to cat.
IIOMK AT 1- AST.
A shivering child one winter's niuht,
(The now was deep, and cold the blast ;)
Hupssing her ragged mother ticht.
M 'ther," exclaimed, 'we're home at last !'
And as she spuke, poor little one,
A ruined hut he stood before,
AY hence, ever since the morning sun,
They strayed to bi g fiom door to door,
AVe'rc home at last ! Sad home is this ;
All lone without, all cold within ;
The adder here micht lurk and hiss,
Her poisonous wrb the spider spin
But there's fire to worm, no light ;
And crevices are yawning wide,
Through wh.cli the storm, this freezing night,
May lay you stiffened, side by side,
And yet this wayward child has been
By many a gorgeous house and past
A here mirth nnd inuic cheer the scene,
Nor envies force's homeut last !
Thus may the heart be trained below
To love ti e cot wherein wjs cast
lis Lire i.r p .vrrty and woe,
Like fur's who cried "we're home at last!"
At iu'bon, the celebrated ornithologist, has j
arrived in nttr city. He is staying at Glasgow
Huuc, and intends starting about the 20th in
stant in the boat oftlie American Fur Company,
fur tlic mo'.iili oftlie Yellowstone. He will pro
ceed thence to the Rocky Mountains, in compa
ny with several gentlemen who arc with them,
lie will be joined by Sir W illiam Stewart, of
Scotland, who isuli-oin this city. 1 1 is object
in visiting the mountains and prarieg of the Far
AY'est, is to add to his splendid collection such
specimens of birds Ac , as he may find there.
Mr. Audubon is unite on aged man, but his ac
tive and hardy life Ims given a vigor and
strength to his constitution, which renders Irim
far inure active than the generality of men of
his years. 67. Louis Rip. 5th.
A Noble Trait in the character oftlie Span- ;
iards is thus warmly eulogized by Borrow, in
his 'Rible in Spain :' "To the honor of Spain
be it spoken, it is one of the few countries in
Europe where poverty is never insulted nor
looked upon with contempt. Even at nn inn,
the poor man is never spurned from the door ;
and if not harbored, is at leant dismissed with fair
words, and consigned to the mercies of fiod, nnd
his mother. This is as it should be. I laugh
at the bigotry and prejudice of Spain; I abhor
the cruelty and ferocity which have cast a stain
of e ternal infamy on her history ; but I say for
the Spaniards-, that in their social intercourse,
no people, in the world exhibit a juster feeling
of what is due to the dignity of human nature,
or better understand the behaviour which it
behooves a man to adopt towards his fellow be
in." AY'armno. A young lady of this village,
swallowed the surprising number of twenty
five pins and one needle, atone time, last Fust
day. She unpinned her cloak, and carelessly
placed the pins in her mouth, when something
excited her risible faculties and caused her to
swallow the pins. Physicians were called, and
succeeded in extracting a few of them, and
supposed but one pin was left, which they could
not get hold of. But a few from time to time
were brought up, till tho whole number amoun
ted to twen'y-two pins and one needle. Three
passed, and the young lady was relieved from
her perilous situation. At one time her life was
despaired of, but she is now doing well. This
should be a warning to young ladies who are
in the habit of miking their mouth a pin-box.
Ma irVf'rv .V. . Memorial.
Absolute acquiescence m the decisions of the
Wy Musscr & i:isoly.
From the Southern Literary Metscngcr.
AGUICOI.A, THE ItOJtAX SLAVE.
A SCTNS IN ROMF.
The aisles oftlie chapel, lately thronged with
many worshipper?, were silent. The sounds of
prnyci which had echoed through the p-roined
root were hushed. Tho assembly which had
knelt in solemn devotion, had disappeared ; and
the stone image the senseless object of their
adoration smiled grimly in the gloomy loneli
ness, as his chiselled features displayed them
selves in the temple, erected by superstitious
wealth, to his service.
Hut one individual remained, a Ion" robe of
sombre hue concealing his person, who leaned,
naif in deep thought, against the pedestal, on
which stood the deity, lie was the dcily.
A low shadow was cant on the floor, and in
stantly afterward, a tall, gaunt figure appeared
at the door; a mantle of spotless white over
hung his shoulders, scarcely concealing his
broad and ample chest. The erectness of his
carriage, the dignity of his attitude, the fire of
his eye, the boldness ofhis step, and the proud
curl upon his lip, proclaimed him to be a man
of rank and ambition.
A contemptuous sneer played upon his coun
tenance As he cast his eyes about the sane
tuary, he glanced towards the stem deify itself,
as its deformed features seemed to assume an
expression of indignation at tho audacity of the
intruder. The stranger then turned toward
the alter on which, in a golden vase, richly
studded with jewels, burned an offering of
frankincense, emitting a pale blue smoke,
which rose and festooned from pillar to pillar,
disseminating its perfume through the adjacent
space. None of these, however, seemed to pro
duce either awe or respect in the mind ofthc
Roman ; for striding past the shrine, he cried :
'Priest ! dost sleep V
The individual whom he addressed slowly
turned his head, and muttered, ''tis ho !' then
drawing his robe more closely about him, an
swered :
'No. I sleep not. Tho priest ofthis deity is
not ns other men, he needs no sleep.'
'(Vise this folly,' cried the senator impa
tiently ; 'well I know all tricks nnd juggles of
thy craft: save thy precious trash to doso the
vulgar reserve thy lectures for the fools who
kneel to this thing of stone !'
'Beware ! rash man,' returned the Priest,
'how, in the sanctuary of this house, you brave
his vengeance ; what thou thinkest stone, may
p'sesw pow er to strike terror tocven thy stub
lx rn heart !'
'Forbear this idle talk,' exclaimed the other.
'Idle talk !' repeated the Priest, with deep
solemnity of manner, 'obdurate as tho'J art, this
deity throtioh me, can discloso that, which
would in.hetliec tremble 1' j
'I would fain witness the skill of which thou
vaunfot, said the senator, in a more serious
manner; for, lnj was unconsciously imbibing a'
portion of the awe which pervaded the place.
Thou shrill be gratified," returned the Priest.
'What I now tell, thou thinkest buried in thine
own Ik worn, unknown by others : if I disclose
to llice, doubt not that he who presides here,
can read tin hearts of all who approach him,
wheihi-i to worship or to scoff.'
'Proem', proceed,' cried the other.
'Twnty years since, Armcnius, thou wert
n general, the commander of a legion '
'Well done, for the omniscience of thy god,
cried the Roman, ieerinslv : 'mv nianv tri-
. - 1
umphs have chronicled the truth of thy remark
in the archives of tho republic. Is this thy
wonder !'
'Interrupt mc not.' answered tho Priest,
calmly ; 'when 1 finish, speak what words
thou'st mind till then, listen. Twenty years
since, when thou wert a general, thou had'sta
friend ha ! start 'st thou now ! Twenty years
since, I too had a friend, but I do not tremble.
Thy friend loved thee, served thee, and shared
his all with thee. Through his high influence
when accused before the senate, thou saved
thy name, thy honor, and thy life. Although
thy junior, thou soughtcst him for advice, and
using it, did'st bind thy brow with laurels of
victory. When surrounded by barbarians, and
the pilum taken from one of thine own band,
was hurled at thee, his buckler warded ofTthe
well directed blow but,' and his manner be
came more impressive, his voice moro melodi
ous, 'that friend, alas! loved an Italian jrirlf
soft, pure, and lovely as the sky which arches
her native land See, thou startVt again ; did
I not tell thee I would inako theo tremblo?
A'es, he loved the girl, not with the vile feeling
w hich tempted thee to gaze upon her charms
and admire her for them alone. I lis fondness
was for herself, her rich, angelic mind, more
than even her dazzling beauty. Treacherously
thou strovest to supplant him in her affections,
by the splendor of military rank, knowing as
he had confided to thee, that their vows had
been exchanged. Thou founu'st thy arts use
less, and did'st change thy love to hatred. The
girl became thy friend's wife, when thou, false
ly accusing bim of erimi, did'st use thy pow
UNBUKY AMB
AND SIIAMOK1N JOURNAL:
majority, the vital principle of Republics, from which
Siiiibiiry, IVoriliuiiiberlaiMl Co.
er to tear him from her arms sell him into
bondage confiscate his properly, and strike
his name from the list of citizens. His wife
survived her miseries but a year, while then
did'st return fo tho capitol loaded with the spoils
of the enemy. Yet with the red hot hand of
guilt grasping thy conscience, nnd even now,
proud and ostentatious before the world, the
god tells me, in thy chamber, thou'rt a coward
starting in alarm, if the least noise breaks
on the midnight.'
'AY'ho art thou that dost know all this V cried
the Roman, in evident alarm.
'I am the Priest,' answered te other, 'ofthc
deity, who can unnerve even the Roman sen
ator !'
A paleness overspread the face of Armenian,
as ho loDkcd first on tho graven image, nnd
then on his oracle; but, by a violent exertion,
resuming his wonted carelessness of demeanor,
he said :
Well, if it is so, let it rest though 'tis all
false, ns thnu hast said, yet here is a purse ; I
present it to thy god, or thee ; I suppose it's
the same thinj I will to-morrow ndd another,
Tie may he all thou'st represented him, but I
believe neither in stocks nor in stones how
ever, I have nn object; but first, Priest, can'st
thou keep a secret V
Why ask ! have I not formerly done so for
thee!
'Tis true ! but this is of moro importance.'
'So shall my lips he surer guarded.'
'Priest, I am rich !'
'Thy gifts to me have proved it.'
'I am lountiful !'
'Yonder jewelled vase attests it.'
'Well, then, I will trust thee : serve me
well, and I will erect a sanctuary to thy deity,
tho proudest in Rome.'
'My ears are open, nnd my heart prepared to
meet thy words' said the Priest.
'Tis this,' continued Armcnius : 'The proud
Augustus, our new censor, is about to make
himself prince of the senate, and I would
thwart him. I have no line of noble ancestors,
on whom to base rny claims ; it is superstition
that must aid me; that thou can'st command.
Thy temple is the resort of the rich nnd the
poor of the city of the high nnd low ; by thy
nid, and that of yonder stone, my desires may
be accomplished ; if thou wilt, and I succeed
in my designs, I swear to keep my promise.'
The Priest consented, when the two, having
consulted measures for the furthcrence of their
scheme, the aspiring senator withdrew ; while
the Priest, drawing aside a veil, entered an in
ner apartment, and the shades of night enve
loped the capitol of tho world.
The multitudinous noises of the gay metropo
lis had subsided ; the twilight had passed away
and the moon shone brightly in the cloudless
firmament 'twas midnight.
Each pillar reared its graceful capital distinct
in the silvery flood which illuminated tho earth,
with nearly the brilliancy of sunshine, save
w here its rays were caught nnd reflected back
by the pale marble, which rose in tasteful iu
tcrcolumniation, around the princely mansion
of Armcnius.
One object only gave nnimction to the scene,
and even ho appeared scarcely living, for in the
darkness ofa deep shadow, he stood, as if trans
fixed, and made no motion, save now and then
the hand, which was laid upon his breast would
contract, ns if with nervous action.
Another figure is added to tho scene she
glides on tip toe, nnd rapidly flies to meet the
youth; she throws hcreelf into his arms his
lips meet hers the sudden transport of delight
the impassioned embrace, declares them to
be lovers.
Stealing noiselessly into the deeper shade of
an adjacent wall, they were concealed from
every eye, sive that of Mini, who cannot look
upon such love, so pure, so fervid, and so dis
interested, but with pity ou tho sad fute which
separated them.
Agricoli, love,' whispered tho maid, 'have I
lingered too long from thee! Thou wilt for
give mc ; it was to avoid detection thtt I tar
ried.' The youth seized her tapering fingers in his
own, nnd pressed them to his bosom.
'No, love,' lie cried, pressing her hand to his
lips, and bathing them in the sea of agony
which was rushing from his eyes. 'No, alas!
thou hast not lingered long enough ; would
that thou h idst never come !
'Say not 6o, Agricoln. AVhercfore dost thou
weep V she inquired soothingly.
'Recause,' ho replied, 'this is tho last time
that wo meet, Maria, and may I t.ot consecrate
U by a tear, as one of fond remembrance 1'
'Tho last, Agricola !' sobbed the tender girl
'Oh, name it not, wo never w ill part again.'
'Alas ! what would'st thou V
'Live with thee ; die with thee; Maria would
be thy wife.
'No, no !' exclaimed the youth, as a pang of
grief darted through his soul ; 'no Maria, it may
nctbs!
MOAN.
there is no appeal but to force, the vital principle
Pa. Saturday, April 2!, is 13.
Then,' said she reprovingly, 'thou dost not
love mo, or thou wottld'st not cast mo oQ.'
'Ix)ve you !' cried he, 'it is that I love well,
too' .
'Then, why not listen to my f.rayers V
'Alas ! it is I love tftMeep'y.'
'No,' cried the girl,' 'no.Fgrieols, didst thou
love me, like m adoro i'thou would'st casta
side these fears.'
'Fears !' repeated the youth, dropping his
hand, nnd flashing n fire from his eye, which
illuminated the spaco nbout them ; 'fears, Ma
ria ! thou dost not know mo: to me, fear is a
stranger. 'Tis not that which influences me ;
but recollect, girl Agricola is a slave!'
The momentary sternness which he had as
sumed, did not, however, damp the ardor of the
girl. It seemed ?o render him still dearer to
her. She placed her fragilo nrm about his
manly neck, nnd in n tone of gentle reproach
'Rebuke rue not, my love,' she said, 'thou
knowest Agricola is a slave ; Cynthia, would
share his bondage with him. Mer love should
make his slavery sweeter fur than freedom.'
'Desist, I pray thee,' responded the youth, en
circling her waist with his nrm, w ith respectful
tenderness, nnd softening his tone ; remember
your father is a Roman.'
'I know it well,' she answered, eagerly, 'yet
still I love theo '
'I know it, Maria ; nlas, too well ; but where
I to wed thee, it would draw his indignation on
us both. For myself, I caro not ; but for thee
the givls know, sixmer would I give my head
to the executioner, than those bright eyes
should lower before tho frown of nn nngry fa
ther. Marin, it must not be ;' and clasping his
hands in agony, ho added. Mot me remain
sinve, uiougn i iovc uic wortiiy oaun-ntcr ot a
Roman.'
'Cruel as thou art, I still will love thee,' she
whispered through his ears; 'none but thee I
live or caro for. My father's wrath I heed not,
fo that I possess thee : I care'
'Hist,' said her lover, ns he carefully leaned
toward the spot they had just quitted; 'when
last we met, I heard a noise, like that which
just struck upon mine car Marin, nway V
Never,' cried the girl, filled with love's
desperation, nnd clinging more closely to him,
never, till thou'st promised. I will die with
thee, Agricola, but will not lose thee I
A faint noise resembling n foot-ball, broke on
tho silence as Agricola strove to disengage
himself from the virgin, who twined her arms
wildly about his neck.
Begone, Maria, I beseech !'
'Till you promise never!' she articulated,
nearly choaked with emotion.
Again, the noise wns heard If they were
discovered, ruin would befal the idol of his
heart, and he be degnded by ths lash. A mo
ment more ; it would be too late ; he put his
lips to her ear
'I promise.
In the next instant, tho light form of the
maid was lost among the columnj, nnd her
lover, looking hastingly about saw the shadow,
evidently that ofa man, cast on the pavement
near him, but so instantaneous was the disap
pearance, that it had vanished ere ho w as ful
ly nw.ire of tho reality. He kneeled nnd placed
his ear on the stones, but all was silent, save
the short beatings of his heart.
The immovable features of the pagan idol
were dimly visible in the breaking day, that
stole through the portico of his temple, while
equully, inflexible, tho Priest sat nt his feet, his
face hid in tho ample fo'ds ofhis mantle, pre
senting only the undefined outlines ofa man.
As tho gray baze of morning yielded to tho
strengthening dawn, the senator, with a deep
frown settled on his brow, walked in and salut
ed tho Priest, who rose to receive him.
'Why here, and so early V demanded the
latter. 'I could effect nothing in tho short
period since we parted yesterday.'
''Tis not lor that I sought thee,' answered
tho visitor.
Then why this visit !' returned the Priest.
'For vengeance.'
'Thou shalt have it,' replied the Priest,
gathering his robe about him.
'Thou knowest not what I mean, foolish
Priest '
'S'ill thou shalt have vengeance ;' and a dry
cough, like a death rattle, sounded in the throat
of the Priest it might have been a laugh.
'Silence,' said the senator, sternly laying his
clenched hand upon the alter; the new made
laws have deprived us of our innate riht to
punish our slaves with death yet I have a
slae must die.
An involuntary shudder passed over the hea
then Priest, but he pulled his robe more close
ly about him, and the start passed unobserved.
Arrnenius continued ;
'I have a niece, my brother's daughter.
She liven with me, my adopted child. This
slave has dared to love her. I could let that
pass, but she, the daughter ofa frecborn son
ef Rome, forgetting her birth, returns her s-1
and immediate parent of despotism. Jarrnaso.
Vol. 3-Xo. 31--Wholc Xo, 135.
sion. I heard her swear it to him at the las'
midnight. That seals his doom, and the slave
shall dio. Were it not that suspicion resting
on mo might blight my brilliant hopes, this
hand had done the deed; but ( am unused to
tricks, Heave it to thee; thy trade is craftiness,
nnd thou can'st lull suspicion. That's but my
fee,' he said casting a bag of gold upon the al
tar 'my reward shall make thee rich.'
'Tis well,' muttered the Priest, 'how callcst
thou th slave !'
'Agricola,' said the other.
The sudden start nnd half word which es
caped tho Priest, caught the other's attention.
'Why startest thou !' he demanded.
'I started !' nnswered the Priest, recovering
himself, nnd stretching forth nn nrm, much
withered nnd shrunken, 'because this hand
was never dipped in blood.'
A wise Priest,' said the senator, scornfully,
'I see tho object ; well, be it so,' and ho threw
another purse upon tho alter.
'Thy words must be my law,' said tho Priest
inn low tone 'but away! the people come to
worship.'
The Senator cast a searching glnncc on the
muffled face of the Priest ; ho drew his robe
about him, and casting a disdainful look on the
throng which now commenced kneeling about
the image, left the chapel.
AY'hen the worshippers had concluded their
devotions, they retired, nnd soon the Priest was
left alone with one person, who still knelt nt
the niter. The priest hnving cnrcfully fasten
ed the doors, the tie vr tec rose, and casting aside
the mantle which disguised him, exhibited
the fine form of Agricola, the slave.
Father,' said he, 'I crave thy blessings,
Thou hast been ever kind to Agricola ; but he
is poor, nnd all that he can return, he now pre
sents to thee, the love that pprings from his
heart.'
'Tis all I ask,' cried the Piiest, casting nside
his mantle nnd embracinghim ; 'the love of the
good is the grentest treasure. But, my son,
thou hast failed in confidence to me, nnd dnn
gers beset thy path, ranged thicker than the
pikes ofthc Macedonian.'
Agricola blushed, and sunk his hend upon
his breast.
'It is true,' he replied, 'that I havo not told
thee nil but now '
Mind it not now I know all ;' the youth
glanced incredulously into his face, when the
Priest taking his hand, continued; 'yes, all
thou lovest thy mnster's daughter, and she re
turns thy love. Is it not so !'
'Alas, nlns! too rightly hast thou said,' an
swered the young man dcspondingly.
'Siiy not alas !' cried the Priest, his eyes
brightened with delight, she shall be thy
w ife !'
'My w ifj V repeated Agricola, retiring a
few paces, regarding the other with astonish
ment, 'and I a slave !'
'Fear not .' if thou would'st be happy, obey
me. At midnight, fly hither with thy bride,
and I will unite thee.'
'But, remember,' jaid the youth, tortured
with many conflicting emotions ; the 'populace
will slay thee, if thou dost unite a slave to a
freeUirn girl.
'Iave that to me. Obey my instructions.
Now away.' return nt midnight,'
At the same hour as on the previous morn
in?, Armcnius repeated his visit, but the Priest
met him at the alter ; and, as he was about to
speak' said in a bolder tone than he had hither
to used :
'The deity has again spoken of thee .'
'Hast thou punished tho slave !' demanded
Arrnenius, eagerly.
'First, must I relate the words of the god i
serve, then to thy question.'
'Bo speedy with thy fooleries,' said Arrneni
us, haughtily ; 'I havo weighty business to day,
and few moments to spare.'
'Last night,' said tho Priest, 'the god spoke to
his servant, and said, tho friend Atticus, whom
Arrnenius excited, yet lives. Start not, sena
tor of Rome Atticus yet lives, and in disguise
has returned to Rome, found proof of thy base
ness, and received honors from Augustus. He
has learned, too, that beforo her death, his wife
was delivered of a child that thou didst seize
tho infant, and didst bring him up as thy slave,
that thou mightest feast thy hellish hate in see
ing the son of thy rival eat with thy bondsmen.'
'Mast thou ended V asked the auditor.
'I havo, answered the Priest.
'Then know, thy god or thou speakest false,
for of a surety I know that Atticus is long since
dead. Now answer mo, bast thou slain the
slave 1'
'To satisfy thyself how faithfully I have exe
cuted my commission, s-tid the Priest; 'raise
yonder vci! and behold his body.'
'The senator strode in tho direction pointed
out ; and drawing aside the curtuin, beheld A-
gricola with Maria in his arms. Me recoiled
at first, but in an instant exclaiming!
Wretch, thou hast deceived me !' untheath-
ed a jcwfel-g ilted dsgger from beiteatb bis rube,
riUCES OF AHTKnTISIXG.
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Advertisements left without directions as to ths
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continued until ordered out, and charged accord
ingly. (5Slxtcen lines make a square.
-i'".i., .. i i l inftrtsritm
and was bounding forward, when the Triest
caught his arm :
'Hold, murderer,' he cried, 'nor dare to sheds,
freeman's blood !'
He is not free. lie is my slave, cried tho
senator, striving to free himself from tho Priest
who held him with nn iron grnsp, while he ex
claimed, 'tis false ho is my son' then casting
nsidc his robe, he discovered his person decked
in full senatorial costume, while ho added, 'nnd
I am Atticus, a Roman senator ;' then wres'.ing
thodagircr from his hand, he threw him from
him with gigantic strength, crying, 'thy treason
has reached the cars of Augustus. Goards,
sci7.c tho traitor !'
As if by magic, tho chapel filled with legion
aries, who, tearing, his robes from tho crest
fallen Arrnenius, conducted him to a neighbor
ing prison ; wbilo the new senator, restored to
all his power and estates, with Agricola and
his lovely bride! were ctcorted triumphantly to
the palace of Augustus. Arrow.
Domestic Influence. Guard your children
agninst any injurious influence at home. Suf
fer no person to live in your families, whoso
sentiments, or habits, or manners, or bad tem
per, may corrupt your children. Guard the do
mestic influence ns the npplc of your eye. Havo
no person in your house who will tell them foo
lish stories, sing them foolish songs, talk to
them about witches, or any thing of any nama
or nature which ought not to come before their
youthful minds.
It is said that a Senator in Maine, on nrrivinj
at Augusta, by mistake went to the arsenal in
stead of tho State House, and on demanding
his seat, was required to sign the books of the
establishment, when he found himself enlisted
in the army for seven years.
Lynn, in Massachusetts, must be the largest
city in the world last year it contained one
million pairs of women's sole., and not aicl told
then ; when we arrive at the latt, we will tell
how many males there are, and who have aspi
red to the bench real lads of wax, who never
tla!!. Phila. Fnrum.
AY'hen you do arrive, says the Boston Bee, at
the hi!, we hope you will make both ends meet,
though we fear your eam-ing knowledge of
cobbling is tdl futlxe.
Dr. Graham, tub Qiack. This once no
ted quack, being on hisstnge to Essex, in order
to promote tho sale of his nostrums, after dwel
ling upon the surpassing virtues ofhis "infalli
hies,' he lowered his voice, and in a solemn
tone, said, ''he came there for the good of tho
public, nnd not for want." Then turning to
his assistant, hesaid,"Andre-v do wecomohera
for want ?,' "No, fmh, sir," said Andrew, "wa
have enough of that at home."
Tun Schoolmaster sot Abroad The fol
lowing is a copy of an order for coal, received
by an individual in Philadelphia. It is a puz
zle. 'Jacob Missemer if you pleace to Sent me 2(1
Bushel Cols from the Back contery Cols from
the fine on my Cratit if you have anny if not
than Sent me Bater Botts AAMter (or it I am
sick I cant come my Self.'
AA'ho'd be a schoolmaster, nnd have such a
rcquium ns the following :
'No school to-day ! no school to-day !" exclai
med tho merry young master, with shining
morning face, skipping gaily into the play
ground, "No school to-day master's dead, ant!
lie's going to bo buried !"
"I shall die happy," said tho expiring hus
band to the wife who was weeping most duti
fully by the bedside, "if you w ill promise not to
marry that object of my unceasing jealouFly,
your cousin John." "Make yourself quite easy,
love," said the expectant widow ; "I am enga
ged to his brother."
Deride not any man's deformities, but bless
God they are not yours. Men shall answer at
God's bar for their vicious habits, but not for
their natural imperfections.
A good word is an easy obligation, but not to
speak ill requires only our silence, which costs
us nothing.
A false friend is like a shadow on a dial, it
appears in clear weather, but vanishes as soon
as it is cloudy.
Archimedes being asked AY'ho was tho
master of Sparta t The laws, said he, and next
them the magistrates.
I live in Julia's eyes,' said an aflectlonata
dandy in Colman's hearing. 'I don't wonder
at it !' replied he, 'since I observed she had a
stye in them when I saw her last ! !'
I'm in for it" is the Mlow said when bs wis
put to jail fot stealing a sheep.
"Ihav'nt time to stay," as the toad said
when lis jumped on the Lot griddle,