BY S. J. ROW.
CLEARFIELD, PA., WEDNESDAY, JULY 15, 1868.
VOL 14:-NO. 441
THE HAPPY HOME.
I love tbe hearth where evening brings
Her lore J onea from the daily tasks,
Wiere virtue spread her spotless wings,
And vice, fell serpent, never basks;
Where sweetly rings upon the ear
The blooming daughter's gentle song,
Like heavenly music whispered near,
While thrilling hearts &o notes prolong.
For there the Father sits in joy,
And there ih cheerful mother smiles,
And there e laughter-loving boy,
With sportive tricks the eve beguiles ;
And lore, beyond what worldlings know,
Like sunlight on the purest foam,
Descends, and with its cheering glow.
Lights up the Christians happy home.
Contentment spreads her holy calm
Around a resting-place so bright,
And gloomy sorrow finds a balm
In gating at so fair a sight;
The world's cold selfishness departs,
And discord rears its front no more,
There pity's pearly tear drop starts,
Aad sharity attends the door.
Ho bitter scandal, lresb from hell.
Orates on the ear, or scalds tbe tongue ;
There kind remembrance loves to dwell,
And virtue's meed is sweetly sung ;
And human nature soars on high,
Where heavenly spirits love to roam,
And vice, as stalks it rudely by,
Admires the Christian's happy home.
Oft have I joined the lovely ones
Around the bright and happy hearth ;
With father, mother, daughters, sons.
The brightest jewels of the earth ;
And while the world grew dark around,
. And fashion called her senseless throng,
I've fancied it was holy ground.
And that fair girl's a seraph's song.
And swift as circles fade away,
I'pon the bosom of the deep,
When pebbles, tossed by boys at plsy,
Disturb its still and glassy sleep ;
The hours have sped in pure delight,
And wandering feet forgot to roam,
While waved the banner of the right,
Above the Christian's happy home.
TWO MIEEOES.
A Kiitnun fob voisg husbands.
"Albert, I wish you would let tne Lave
tveQtr-j ve cents. "
Kate Landman spoke very carefully, for
the knew thut her liu-luiij had not much
money to spare. ct sire spoke earnestly, and
(here was a world of entreaty in her look.
"What do ypix want evotity -ma iVIit.
for?"' asked Albert.
"I want to get some braid for my new
drt'ss."
"Plague take these women's fashions!
Your endless trimmings and thing-a-tnajigs
cost more than the dress is worth. It's
nothing but shell out money when once a
woman thinks of a new dress."
"Surely, I don't have so maay new dresses.
I do certainly try to !e economical as I can."
'it i a funny kind of economy, at all
events. But if you must have it, I suppose
Yu niut."
And A!W-rt took out his wallet and count
ed out dm M-wnty-five cents; bathe gave
it grudgingly, and when he put the wallet
Wk into h'w pocket he did it with an em
fhw which seemed to say that he would
iwt take it out again for a weet.
When Albert reached the outer door, on
Lis way to his work, he found the weather
so threatening that he concluded to go back
and get his umbrella, and upon re-entering
he sitting-room he found his wife in tears.
She tried to hide the fact that she had been
seeping, hat he had caught her in the act,
ind aked what it meant.
't)d grai-inu-;: cried the husband, "I
should like to know if you are crying at what
I said about the dress?"
"I was not crying at what you said, Albert,'
replied Kate treniulouely, 4but you were so
reluctant to grant me the favor. I was
thinking how hard I have to work, how I
m tijd to the house, how many little things
I have to perplex me then to think "
"Pshaw ' what do you want to be so fool
i'hfor?" And away started Albert Landman a sec
ond time,but he was not to escape so easily.
In the hall he was met by his daughter Liz
lie, a bright-eyed, rosy -checked girl of ten
loars.
"O, papa, give me fifteen cents."
"What in the world do you want with it?
Are they changing school books ai;ain ?"
"No : I want to buy a hoop. Ellen Smith
ta5 got one, and so has Mary Ruck and Sa
rah K!kn. Mr. Grant has got some really
i :ruy ones to sell. Can't I have one ?"
"N.wsense! if you want a hoop go and
tt one off some old barrel. I can't afford
to U- buying hoops for you to trundle about
the street."
Th brightblue eyes were filled with tears,
ail the child's sobbing broke upon his car.
Aihert Landman hurried from the house
ith some very impatient words upon his
lips.
This was in the morning. At noon when
he came home to dinner, there was a cloud
over the household. His wife was sober,
and even little Lizzie, usually so gay and
blithesome, was sad and silent.
Alter tea Albert did a few chores about
the houe, and then be lighted a cigar and
ent out. He had gone but a short distance
hen he met Lizzie. In her right hand she
draped an old hoop, which she had taken
from a dilapidated flour barrel, while with
her left she was rubbing her red, swollen
e'es. She was in deep grief, and was sob
"0 painfully.- H stopped his child and
kked what was the matter.
She answered as well as her sobs would
t her, that the other girls had laughed at
r, and made fun of her old hoop. They
nice, pretty hoops, while hers was ugly
ti homely,
"Never mind," said Albert, patting the
little one upou the fcead (for the child's
grief touched him), "perhaps we'll have a
new hoop some time."
"Mayn't I have one now ? Mr. Grant's
got one left oh, such a pretty one."
The sobbing had ceased as the child caught
her father s hand eagerly.
".Not now, Lizzie not now. I'll thiat
of it."
Sobbing again-, the child moved on to
wards home, dragging the old hoop after
her.
At one of the stores Albert Landman met
some of bis friends,
"Halloo, Albert I"
"What doycu say to a game of billiards?"
"Good 1 I am in for that."
And AlbeTt went to the billiard hall, where
he had a glorious time with his friends. He
liked billiards; it was a healthy, pretty game
and the keeper of the hall allowed no rough
scuffs on his premises.
They had played four games. Albert had
won Ito and his opponent had won'two.
"That's two and two," cried Tom Piper.
"What do you say to playing them off?"
"All right, go in," said Albert, full of an
imation. So they played the fifth game,and he who
lost was to pay for the five games. It was
an exciting contest. Both made capital
runs, but in the end Albert was beaten by
three points; and with a little laugh he
went up to settle the bill. Five games, 20
cents a game just $1. Not much for 6uch
sport, and he paid out the money wit h grace,
and never once seeming to feel that he could
not afford it. The two then lighted their
cigars and sauntered down the hall to watch
others play. Albert soon found himself
seated by a table at which some of hi
friends were playing, and close by stood two
gentlemen, strangers to him, one of whom
was explaining to the other the mysteries of
the game.
"It is a healthy pastime," said he who
had been making the explanation, "and cer
tainly it is one which has no evil tendency.
Albert heard the remarks very plainly,
and he had a curiosity to hear what the oth
er, who seemed uuacquainted with billiards,
would say.
"I cannot, of course, assert that any game
which calls for skill and judgment, and is
free from the attendant curse of gaming, is
of itself an evil," remarked the second gen
tleman. "Such things are only evil so far
. Ht-j uvtw and sutuuluu; uieu uvyvwi Uic
bounds of healthful recreation."
"That result can scarcely follow such a
game," said the first speaker.
But. the other shook his head.
"'ou are wrong there. The result can
follow in two ways. First, it can lead men
away from their business ; second, it can
lead men to spend money, who have not
money to spend. You will understand me,
I would not cry down the game of billiards,
for if I understood it I should certainly try
you a game now ; but whenever I visit a
place of this kind I am led to reflect upon a
most strango and promineni weakness of
humanity as developed in our sex. For in
stance, observe that young man who is just
settling his bill at the desk. He looks like
a mechanic, and 1 should say from his man
ner, and from the fact that he feels it his
duty to go home at this hour, that he has a
wife and children, I see by his face that he
is kind-hearted and generous, and I should
judge that he means to do about as near
right as he can. Ho has been beaten an d
he pays $1.40 for tha recreation of some two
hours duration. It you would observe you
would see that he pays it freely and pockets
the loss with a smile. Happy faculty ! How
do you suppose it is in that young man's
home ? Suppose his wife had come to him
this morning and asked for a dollar to
spend tor some trifling thing some house
hold ornament, or some bit of jewelry to
adorn, her person ; and suppose his little
chil l had put in a pica for forty cents to buy
a paper and picture books with.wbat do you
think he would have answered? Of fifty
men just like him, would forty-five have de
clared that they had no money to spare for
any such purpose? And moreover, they
would have said so feeling that they were
telling the truth. Am I not right ?"
"Upon my soul," responded the man who
understood billiards, "you speak to the point.
I know that young man who has paid his
bill, and you have not misjudged him in a
single particular. And, what is more, I
happen to have a fact at hand to illustrate
your charge. We have a club for an excel
lent paper in our village, and last year that
man was one of our subscribers. This year
he felt obliged to discontinue it. His wife
was very anxious to take it, for it had be
come a genial companion in leisure moments,
but he could not afford it. The club rate
was one dollar and fifty cents a year."
They had finished at the nearest table.
The two gentlemen moved on, and Albert
Landman arose from his seat and left the
house. Never before had he such thoughts
as now possessed him ; he had never dwelt
upon the same grouping of ideas. That
very morning his own true, faithful, loving
wife had been sad and heart-sick because he
had harshly and unkindly met her request
for a small sum of money. And his sweet
Lizzie had crept away to her home almost
broken hearted for the want of a single toy,
such as her mates possessed.
Albert Landman wanted to be an honest
husband and father, and the lesson was not
lost upon him. On his way home he stop
ped at Mr. Grant's and purchased the test
and prettiest hoop to be found, with riding
stick painted red, white and blue, and in
the morning when he beheld his child's do
light, and had received her grateful, happy
kiss, the question came to his mind. Which
was the best and happiest result, this or the
five games of billiards ? The hoon had nst.
thirty cents ; he could play two games of
Diliiards less, and be absolute gainer of ten
cents by the pleasant operation.
A few mornings after th is, as Albert rose
rroin the breakfast tabfe be dstected an un
easy, wistful look wpon his wife's face.
"Kate, what is it?"
"Albert, could you spare me a half dollar
tnia morning (
Out came the wallet, and the money was
nanded over with a warm genral sarilev
What! tears at that? Was it possible
that she had been so little used to such
scenes on his part that so simple an aet of
loving kindness thus affected her ?
How many games of billiards would be
required to secure such satisfaction as Al
bert Landman carried with him that morn
ing to the shop ?
A MIRROR FOR YOUNG WIVES.
"I must have it,Charles," said the hand
some little wife of Mr. Whitman. "So-dow'fe
put on that sober face."
"How much will it cost?" inquired Mr.
Whitman. There was an effort to look
cheerful and acquiescent. .
"About forty dollars," was answered,
with just a little faltering in the lady's voice
for she knew the sum would sound very ex
travigant. "Forty dollars? Why, Ada, do you
think I am made of money?" His counte
nance underwent a remarkable change of
expression.
"I declare, Charles," said she, "you
look at me as though I were an object of
fear instead of affection. I don't think this
is kind of you. I've only had three silk
dresses since we were married, while Amy
Llight has had six or seven during the
same period, and every one of hers cost
more than mine. I know you think mo ex
travigant, but I wish you had a wife like
some I could name. I think you'd find out
the difference before long."
"There, pet, don't talk to me after that
fashion! I'll bring, the money at dinner
timev that is, if"
"No ifs or huts if you please. The sen
tence is complete without them. Thank you
dcar.I'll go this afternoon and buy the silk ;
so don t fail to bring the money. I was in
at Silkskin's yesterday, and saw one of the
sweetest patterns I ever laid my eyes onf;
just suit my style of complexion. You won't
disappoint me."
jciuu iixiB. vTi4uiau - laiu ner- soity wnue
hand on the arm of her husband, and
smiled.
"Oh, no. you shall have the money,"
said he, turning off from his wife, as she
thought, a little abruptly, and hurrying
from her presence.
"Forty dollars for a new dress," said he.
as he shut the door after him. "I promised
to settle the coal bill to-day three dollars
but I don't know where the money is to
come from. The coal is burnt up and more
must be ordered. Oh, dear! I'm discour
aged. Every year I fall behind. This win
ter I did hope to get a little in advance, but
if forty dollar silk dresses are the order of
the day, there is no end to that devoutly to
be wished for consummation. Oh 1 if I
could disentangle myself now, while I have
the strength of early manhood and the
bonds that hold me are weak. If Ada
could see as I see if I could make her un
derstand rightly my position. Alas, that is
hopeless, I fwar."
And he hurried his steps, because his
heart beat quicker and his thoughts were
excited.
Not long after Mr. Whitman left home,
the city postman delivered a letter to his
address. The wife examined the writing on
the envelope. Something more than curi
osity moved her. There intruded on her
mind a vague feeling of disquiet as if the
missive bore unpleasant news for her hus
band. The stamp showed it to be a city
letter. A few times of late such letters had
come to his address, and she had noticed
that he had read them hurriedly and thrust
them without remark into his pocket, and
become quiet.
Mrs. Whitman turned the fetter over and
over again in her hand.in a thoughtful way,
and asjshe did so, the image of her husband,
sober-faeed and silent, as he had become for
most of the time of late, presented itself
with unusual vividness. Sympathy stole
into her heart.
'Toor Claries?" said she, as the feeling
increased; "I'm afraid something is wrong
with him."
riacing the letter on the mantle piece,
where he could see it when he came in,
Mrs. Whitman entered upon some house
hold duties, but with a strange impression, a
vague feeling that all was not going well
with her husband.
"lie has been a little mysterious of late,"
she said to herself. The idea affected her
very unpleasantly. "He grows more silent
and reserved," she added, as though her
mind, under a feverish kind of excitement,
became inactive in a new direction. "More
indrawn, as it were, and less interested 'in
what is going on around him. His coldness
chills me at times his irritation hurts me."
"Something is going wrong with him.
What can it be?" -
The letter was in her hand.
"This may give me light." And with
careful fingers she opened the envelope, not
breaking the paper, so that she could seal
it again if she desired so to do. There was
a bill of sixty dollars, and a communication
from the person sending the bilL He was
a jeweler.
"If this is not sttled at once," he wrote,
"I shall put the account in suit. It has
been standing for over a year, and I am
tired of getting your excuses instead of
money."
The bill was for a lady's watch.which she
had almost compelled her husband to pur
chase. "Not paid for? Is it possible?"
she exclaimed in blank astonishment, while
the blood mounted to her forehead.
Then she Eat down to think. Light be
gan to come into her mind. As she sat
thus thinking, a second letter came for her
husband. She opened ft without any hesi
tation. Another bill and another dunning
letter 1
"Not paid? Is it possible?" she repeat
ed. It was a bill of twenty-five dollars for
gaiters aid slippers, which had been stand
ing for three months. ;
"This will Bevsrdo," said she "never
no, never f and she threat the two letters
into her pocket From that hour till the
return of her husband at dinner time, she
did an unusual amount of thinking for her
little brain. She saw,' the moment he en
tered, that the morning elortd had not passed
from his brow
"Here is the money for that new dress'
he said, taking a small roll of bills from hfi
vest pocket, and handing them to Ada as
he carte ini He did not kiss her, nor smile
in the old Bright way. But his voice was
calm if not cheerful. A kiss and a smile
just then would have been mnre precious to
the young wife than a hundred silk dresses.
She took the money, saying :
"Thank you, dear. It k kind of yoa to
regard my w isles."
Something in Ada's voice and manner
caused him to lift his eyes, with a look of
inquiry to her face. ' Bat she tamed asid
so that he could not read its expression.
He was graver and more silent than usual
and ate with scarcely any appearance of ap
petite. "Come home early, dear," said Mrs.
Whitman, as she went to the door with her
husband. .
"Are you impatient to have me admire
your new dress?" no replied with an effort
at a smile.
"Yes, it will be something splendid," she
answered.
He turned off from her quickly, and ?eft
the house. A few moments she stood with
a thoughtful face, her mind' indrawn, and
her whole manner changed. Then she
went to her room and. commenced dressing
to go out.
Two hours later and-we find her in a jew
elry store on Broadway.
i i TZ0 ?o ?" She address
ed the owner oi tu " nuui u
very well..
"Certainly." he replied, and he moved to
the further end of one of the long show
cases. She drew from her pocket a lady's watch
and chain, and laying them on the show
case, said, at toe same time holding out tne
bill she had taken from the envelope ad
dressed to her husband :
"I cannot afford to wear this watch, my
husbands circumstances are too limited. I
tell you so frankly. It should not have been
purchased, but a too indulgent husband
yielded to the importunities of a foolish
wife. I say this to take blame from him.
Now, sir, meet the case if. you can do so in
fairness to yourself. Take back the watch
and say how much I shall have to pay you
besides."
The jeweler dropped his eyes to think.
The case took him by surprise. He stood
for nearly a minute, then taking the bill and
watch said :
"Wait a moment," and wont;: to a desk
nearby. . "
"Will that do?" .lie had come forward
again, and now presented her with a receipt
ed bill. And his face wore a pleasant ex
pression. "How much shall I pay you sir?" asked
Mrs. Whitman, drawing ,out her pocket
book. "Nothing. The watch is not defaced."
"You have done a kind act, sir," said
Mrs. Whitman, with a' trembling voice. "I
hope you will not think unfavorable of my
husband ; it's ho fault of his that the bill
has not been paid. Good afternoon, sir."
The pleasure she had experienced upon
receiving her watch was not to be compared
with that she now felt in parting with it.
From the jewelers she went to the boot-maker's
and paid the bill of twenty-five dol
lars, and from thence to the milliner's and
settled for her last bonnet.
"I know you are dying to sec my lieW
dress," said she to her husband, on his ap
pearance that evening. "Come into the
parlor and let me show it. Come along;
don't hang back as if you were afraid."
He went with his wife passively, looking
more like a man on his way to receive a sen
tence than in expectation of a pleasant sight
"Sit down, Charles." She led him to a
large cushioned chair. She took something
in a hurried way from a drawer, and taking,
up a footstool, placed it on the floor near
him and looked tenderly and lovingly in his
face; then handed him the jeweller's bill.
"It is receipted, you see." Her voice
fluttered a little.
"Ada, how is this, what docs it mean?"
"I returned the watch, and he receipted
the bill. I would have paid for damage but
he said it was uninjured.and asked nothing.
And this is receipted also, and this," hand
ing him the other bills which she had paid.
"And now, dear," she added quickly,
"how do you like my new dres3 isn't it
beautiful?" .
We leave the explanations and scenes
that followed to the reader's imagination.
If any fair lady, however, who like Ada,
has been drawing too heavy on her husband's
slender income, lor silks and jewels, is at a
loss to realize the scene, let her try Ada's
experiment.
Sheet musie children crying in bed.
A Proclamation of Amnesty,
Whereas, In the month of July, Anno
Iraini 1861, in accepting the condition of
civil war which was brought about by insur
rection and rebellion in several of the States
which constituted the United States, the
two Houses of Congress did soleunily de
clare that that war was not waged ou the
part of the Government in any spirit of
oppression, nor for any purpose of coi
quest or subjugation, nor for any purpose
of overthrowing or interfering with the rights
or established institutions et the States, bat
only to defend and maintain the Constitu
tion of the United States, and to preserve
the Union, with all the dignity, and equali
ty and rights of the several States unim
paired, and that so soon as these objects
should be accomplished, the war ou the part
of the Government should cease
Ami Whereat, The President of the Uni
ted States has, heretofore, in the spirit of
that declaration, and with the view of secur
ing for it ultimate and complete effect, set
forth several proclamations offering Amnes
ty and pardon to persons who had been or
were concerned in the aforenamed rebellion,
which proclamations, however, were attend
ed with prudetk4 reservations and excep
tions then deemed necessary and proper,
and which proclamations were respectively
issued on the 8th day of December TSy
on the 25th day of March, 1S64; on the
2'Jth day of May, f&55; nTsd ou the 7th Jay
of September, 1807; and
Wrekfsv The eaid lamentable civil war
has fcnig since altogether ceased, rrhh an
acknowledgment by all the States of the Su
premacy of the. Federal Constitution, and of
the Government thereunder ; and there no
longer exists a-ny reasonable ground to sp
prehend a renewal of the said civil war,orany
foreign interference, or any unlawful resist
ance by any portion of the people of any of
the States to the Constitution- and laws cf
the United States, and
Whereas, It k desirable to reduce the
standing army, and to bring to a1 speedy
termination military occupation, martial
law, military tribunals, abridgment of the
freedom of speech and of the press, and sus
pension of the privileges of habeas corpus
and of the right of trial by jury, such in
croaebmcnts upon our free institutions in
time of peaee being dangerous to public
liberty, incompatible with the individual
rights of the citizen, contrary to the genius
soui ces ;
And whereas. It is believed that am
nesty and pardon will tend to'sccure a com
plete and universal establishment and pre
valence of muncipal law and order, in con
formity with the Constitution of the United
States, and to remove all appearances and
presumption of retaliatory or vindictive
policy on the part of the Government, at
tended by unnecessary disqualifications,
pains, penalties, confiscations, and dis
franchisements, and on the contrary to pro
mote and procure complete fraternal recon
ciliation among the whole people with due
submission to the Constitution and laws ;
Now, therefore, be it known that I, An
drew Johnson, President of the United
States, do, by virtue of the Constitution,
and in the name of the people of the United
States, hereby proclaim and declare uncon
ditionally, and without rcrvation, to all
and toevcrr person who directly or indirect
ly participated in the late insurrec
tion or rebellion, excepting such person
or persons as may be under presentment
or indictment in any court of the United
States having competent jurisdiction upon
a charge of treason or other felony, a full
pardon and amnesty for the offence of
treason against the United States or ot ad
hering to their enemies during the late civil
war, with restoration of all rights of proper
ty,, except as to slaves, and except also as to
nnv rtronertv of which any person may
have been legally divested under the laws of
the United States.
In testimony whereof I have signed these
presents with my hand, and have causeu
the seal of the United States to be hereunto'
affixed.
Potic at the city of Washington, the 4th
day of July, in the year of our Lord, 1858,
and 6'f the Independence of the United
States of America the 93d.
By the President,
Andrew Johnson.
Wa. H. Seward, Secretary of State.
Gold Mining Excitmkst. A letter rc
Hivd frrni the Ciiiimaron told mines, on
Maxwell's fcrant, in Colorado, speaks of
the recent discovery of an astonishingly
rich gold lead. The writer says people are
flocking thither in crowds ; that new ditches
are nearly finished in other localities ; that
new towns are started ; that new gold dis
coveries arc made almost every day, and
that the regular old California excitement
pervades south westeranColorado. The Kan
sas Pacific Railroad has had to enlarge the
number of its trains to accommodate the in
flux of population. The writer adds : "The
prospect of gold and silver this year in Col
orado will reach $60,000,000, or more than
California produces."
T . mn tits' WriETARIANS. Mr. Hew-
lett, officer of health for Bombay, states that
while the general mortality in the 816,56J
inhabitants of Bombay amounts to 1.89 per
the 61.9S4 non flesh eating
castes, belonging to higher grades of society,
the mortality amounts to 2.05 percent
That abstinence from flesh should increase
the death rate by 46 per cent, presents
curious puzzle for the vegetarians.
Some fool wants to know if there was ever
an eclipse of the honey-moon
My Wife's Piano.
The deed is accomplished. My wife got
a piano, and now' farewell to the. tranquil
mind. I t came on a dray. Six men carried
it into the parlor, and grunted awfully. It
weighs a ton, shines like a mirror, and ha
euvvd Cupids climbing up its limbs. And
such lung whew ! My wife has com
menced to practice, and Use first tiaee she
touched the machine, I thought we Were in
the midst of a thunder storm, and the light
ning had struck the crockery chest.- Cat,
with tail erect, tceb a bee-line f particu
lar friend on the fence, demolishing a-six1-shilling
pane of glass. The baby awoke,
and the little fellow tried his best to beat
ttlB iwstrsnucnt, but ho couldn't do it. It
beat him.
A teacher has been introduced into the
house. He says he is the last of Napoleon's
grand army. He wears a huge moustache,
looks at me fiercely, smells of garlic, and
goes By the name ot" Count ltunaway-never-come-bsck-again.
He played an extracted
opera the oilier night. He ran his fiagers
through his ha ir twice, then grinned, then
cocked his eyes up at the ceiling like a
monkey hunting flies, and then came down
one of his finger-and I heard a delightful
sound, similar to' that produced by a cock
roach upon the tenor string of a fiddle.
Down came another finger, and I was re
minded cf the wind- whistling through a
knot hole in a hen coop. He touched his
thumb, and I thought' that I wab ill an
orchard listening to the distant braying of
a jackass. Now he ran his fingers along th'c
keys, and" I thoughtof a-boy rattling a st'ck
upon a store box or a picket fence: All of
a suddert lie stopped, and I' thought some
thing had bnppcncd'. Then came down
both fists, and, O ! such a' noise was novcr
heard before T thought a hurricane had
struck the house and the walls were caving
in. I imagined I Was in' the Collar, and a
ton of coal was" falling about my head. 1
thought the machine had burst, when the
noise stopped, and I heard my wife ejacu
late: "'Exquisite!" "What the deuce is the
matter?" l! inquired. "Why, my dear,
that is La Somnambula." "Confound Som
nambula!" thought I, and the Count rolled
up a sheet of paper. He called it music ;
but for the life of me I cannot make it look
like anything else than a rail fence' with a
lot of juvenile niggers climbitig over.
paper to obtain funds to shingle the chorch
edifice. Among others he called on Mr.
N , a merchant of the place, a liberal man
where the object was praiseworthy, who
subscribed five dollars. Soon afterwards the
clergyman called for the money, but Mr.
N , having had occasion to pay out all his
funds that day, was short, and asked the
parson to call again. This did not precisely
accord with the clerical wishes ; so casting
the clerical eyes around the store they fell
upon a kit of mackerel, which he thought
would be good for ministers-.
"How much for mackerel 7" asked" his
reverence.
"Five dollars a kit," responded1 the mer
chant. . . .
"Well, if you lik. take that kit for
your snl-crf prion."
"All right, parson ; but this is the first
time I ever heard of shiiigtinga ehnrcli toih
maclierel ,
A HOME Thrust.- A clergyman who en
joys the substantial benefits of a fino farm
was slightly taken down a few days ago by
his Irish plowman, who was sitting at his
plow in a field, resting his horse. The rcv
ereud gentleman being art economist, said,
with great seriousness :
"John, wouldn't it be a good plan for you
to have a stub scythe here and be" cutting a
few bushes along the fence while the horse
is resting a short time ?"
John, with quite as serious a countenance
as the divine wore himself, said : "Wouldn't
it be well, sir, for you to have a tub of po
tatoes in the pulpit and when they are sing
ing, to peel 'em awhile to be ready for the
pot?"
The reverend geutleman laughed heartily
and left.
First Love The celebrated David
Crockett; when quite a young man fell in
love with a beautiful quaker girl, aud thus
forcibly, graphically and poetically describes
the effect on an ardent and susceptible minu
nroduced bv a first love : "I found myself
over head and heels in love with this girl,
and I thought if all the hills were pure
hirik. and all belonged to me, I would give
them if I could just talk to her as I wanted
to ; but I was afraid to begin ;. lor when 1
would think .of saying anything to her, my
heart would begin to flutter, like a duck in
a puddle, and if I tried to outdo it and
speak, it would get right up in ray throat,
and choke me like a cold potato."
A chan went to a pork house to buy pork
on credit. First he bargained for a lot of
hog's ears : next, the clerk seeming willing
to trust, he bought a hog's head then
growing bold, he said. "I believe I'll take
that ham." "No you won t, replied the
clerk, 'you are a head and ears in debt now.'
A blithe heart makes a blooming visage.
True ; bat it won't do to suppose that every
blooming visage comes from a jolly condi
tion of the heart. The cause sometimes lies
deeper than that in the cellar.
I have a little sister, three years of age,
who is saying cunulng things every day.
One morning, seeing a pitehfork by the
kitchen door, she said, "Ihere a the ioik
my little pony eats hay with."
JJQOFLAND'S GERMAN BITTERS,-
HOOFLAXD'S GERMAS TONIC. '
TBC GREAT 'sitWEDIES '
For all disease of tha Liver, Stomach, or diges
tive organs.
noofland's German Bitters
Is composed f the pure juices (or, as they are
meijrBlljr termed, txtneu) of Roots, Herbtand'
Bark, attaig a prep aratlon.highl, eoncen
trated, and eMireij--free from alooholie ad
mixture of any kind.
UOOFLAXD'S GERMAN TONIC,
Is a combimrtiVs sf all tie Ingredients of the Bit--ters,
with the purest quality f Santa Crux Rum,
Orange. Aa , making one of the most pleasant and
agreeable remedies eer offered to the publio.
Tbtfee preferring a Medicinefree from Alcohol
ic admixture, will use
IIOOFLAND'S GERMAN BITTERS.
Those who h are1 no ebj'aetir9itlie oomblnation
of the Bitters, si stated, will trs
HOOPLA AID'S GERMAN TONIC.
They are both equally good, and contain the
ssme medicinal virtues, tbe choice between the
two being a mere matter of taste, the Ionia being
the most palatable.
The stoiiracli; from a variety of causes, such as
Indigestion, Dyspepsia, Nervous Debility', te., is
very apt to have its functions deranged. The
Liver, sympathising j . as closely as it does with
the Stomach, then be comes affected, the result
of which is that tie patient suffers from' several'
or more ot the following diseases :
Constipation, Flatulence, Inward Piles," Fulness
of Blood to the Head, Acidity of the Stomach,
Nansea, Heartburn, Disgust for Food, Fulness
or Weight in the'Stomach,our Eruetatiow,
Sinking or Fluttering-at thel'itbf tbeStbmach,
Swimming of the Head, Hurried or Difficult'
Breathing, Fluttering at the Heart, Choking or
Suffocating Sensations when in a Lying Posture,
Dimness of Vision.Dotsor Webs before the Sight,.
Dull Fain in the Head, Deficiency or Perepira"
tion. Yellowness of the Skin and Eyes, Pain in
the Side, BacK,Chest, Limbs, etc. .Sudden flush
es of Heat, Burning in the Flesh , Constant im
aginings of Evil,and great deprekeof Spirits.
The sufferer from these d iseases should exercise
the greatest caution in the selection of a remedy
for his ease, purchasing only that which he is as
sured from his inves tigations and inquiries
posses5es true merit, is skilfully compound
ed, is free from injurious ingredidents, and' hasr
established for itsrlf a reputation, for the cure of
these diseases. In this eonnneetion- we would
submit those well-known remedies
Hoofland's German Bitters, and fooAind'x
German Toir, prepared by Dr. C. M.
Joc&som, I'hUadeipkui, J?a.
Twenty-two years since they were first Intro
duced into this country from Germany, during
which time they have undoubtedly performed'
more eares, and benefitted suffering humanity to
a greater extent, than any other remedies known,
to the publio.
These remedies will effectually (tare Liver Com
plaint, Jawndice, Dys pepsia.Chronie.or Nerv
ordered Liver, Stomach, or Intestines.
DEBILITY.
Resulting from any cause whatever;' prostratioal
of the syiteia. indweed by severe labor,
hardships, exposure, fevers, etc
There is no medicine extant equal to these rem
edies in such cases. A ton and vigor is imparted
to the whole system, the apnetite is strengthed,
food is enjoyed. the stomach digests promptly, the
blood is purified, the complexion becomes sound
and healthy, the yellow tinge is eradicated from
the eyes, a bloom is given to the ebeeks, and th
weak and nervous invalid become strong and
healthy being.
PERSONS ADVANCED tN LIFE
And feeling the hand of time weighing heavily
upon them, with all its attendant ills, will find in
the use of this B1TTEKS, or the TONIC, an elixer
that will instfl new life into their veins, restore
in a measure the energy and ardor of more youth
ful frs, build up their shrunken forms, and give,
health and happiness to their renrainrrrg years.
NOTICE.
It is a well ertnWished fact that fully one-half
of the female portion of our population are sel
dom in the enjoyment of good health ; or, t
use their own expres --J sion, "never feel well."
They are languid1, oVtoid of all energy, extreme- .
ly nervous, and hove no appetite. 'JV this class
of persons the lMTTEKS, ei the TONIC, ia espe
cially recommended.
WEAK' AND DELICATE CHILDREN
Are tende strong by the nse of either of these
remedies. Tbey will core every ease of MAKAS
MUS, without fail.
Thousands of certificates have accumulated in
the hands of the proprietor, tratspaee wilt allow
of the poblleation of but a few. Tbose,it will b
observed, are men of note and of soeh standing
that they must believed.
TESTIMONIALS.
Hon. George IF". Woodward, Chief Justice of
the Supreme Court of JPenn'a, wrttei
Philadelphia. March IS, 1367.
"I find 'Hooflund's - German Bitters' is a
good tenic, useful in diseases of the diges
tive organs, and of great benefit In eases of de
bility, and want of nervous action in the system.
Yours truly, OEO. W. WOODWAUD."
Hon Jafnej TAompmn, Judge of th Supremo
Court Of Pennsylvania:
Philadelphia, April 33, ISM.
"1 consider -II oofiand's German- Bitters' aeoac
ablc medicine in case f attacks ot Indigestion or
Dyspopsia. I can certify this front say experi
ence 01 It- uurs, whu rcpwi,
JAMES THOMPSON.
From Rev. Joseph II. Kenna-d, D. )., Pastor
of tli Tenth Baptist Chtlrtk, Philadelphia.
Dr. Jarison Dear Sir: I have been frequent
ly requested to connect my name with recommen
dations of different kinds of medicines, but re
garding the practice as out cf my appropriate
sphere, I hare in all cases declined; but
with i clear proof in various instances and
particularly in my own family, of the usefulness
of Dr. Uoofland's German Bitters, I depart for
once from my nsual course, to express my full
conviction that,nr general debility of the system
and esjieeially for liver Complaint, it is a sa'o
and valuable preparation. In some eases it may
fail, but usually. I doubt not, it will be very ben
eficial to those who suffur from the above cause.
Yours, very respectfully,
J. U.K33A&D,8tn,tel Coatesst,
Fiom Rev. E. D. Fendall, Assistant Editor
Christian Chronicle, Philadelphia.
I have derived decided benefit from the use of
Hooflands German Bitters, and feel it my privil
ege to recommend them as a most valuable ton ic,
to all who are suffering from general debility or
from diseases arising from derangement of the)
liver. Yours truly, E. D. FENDALL.
CAllTION.
Uoofland's derm an Remedies are counterfeited.
See that the signnture of C. M. JACKSON is on
the wrapper of each bottle. All others ar
eottnteifelt Princi pal Offieeanu
th. Rxrman Medicine Moreno. 001 ania
Street, Philadelphia, Pa.
CHARLES M. EVANS, Proprietor.
formerly C. M. JACKSON A Co.
Hoofland s German Bitters, per bottle, $1 M
Hoofland s Gorman Bitters, half dosen, 00
Uoofland's German Tonie.pnt np in qnartbotUes,
r -, r , Krtl n- hlf fifteen for f7 50.
SI rfv y
riA nn fnrcrat In lllmiu Well UlO artlClO
you buy, in order to get the genuine.
For sale by A. I. SHAW, Ajeot. Cleaiael Fa. ;
April 23, 188-ly
nr