j
BY S. B. EOW.
YOL. 3.-XO. 18.
CLEARFIELD, PA., WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 17, 1856.
For the Journals
MAGGIE. -.
Little Maggie's full of fun;
Life to her is just begun ;
How she laughs fur very glee !
Merry may she ever be.
. Little Maggie's somewhat shy ;
Oft she says to me good-byo ;
Many years since wo firstniet,
And somehow we Beem strangers yet !
Little Maggie little speaks ; -
Mind and thoughts she closely keeps :
Little says she, but her looks
tpeak much more than musty books.
' Little Maggie's plump and sleek.
Diuipled chin and rounded cheek ;
- Features of the tJreeian mould ;
Mind worth more than sacks of gold. -
Little Maggie's full of life ; '
We hope some day she may be wife
To some one who will make her blest
On earth, as saints in heaven rest.
, . Little Maggie's somewhat shy ;
Oft she says to me good-bye ;
I, . These lines to her I kindly send,
That she may read, as from a friend.
Aladdin.
TIIE DOCTOR'S BRIDE.
1 BT EMERSON BENNETT.
"WaDoctors sometimes meet with strange
adventures," once said to rue a distinguised
physician, with whom I was on terms of inti
macy. . "I have often thought,1' I replied, "that the
secret history of some of yonr profession if
written out in detail, would make a work of
thrilling interest."
"I do not know that I exactly agree with you
in regard to detail," rejoined my friend ; "for
we medical men, like every one else, meet
with a great deal that is common place, and
therefore not worthy of being recorded ; but
grant us the privilege of you novelists, to se
lect our characters and scenes, and work them
:nto a kind of plot, with a striking denouement,
and. I doubt not many of ns could give you a
romance of real life, comprising only Avhat we
have seen, which would equal, if not surpass,
anything you ever met with in the way of fic
tion. Bye the bye, I believe I never told you
of the most strange and romantic adventure
of my life 7"
"You never told me of any of your adven
tures, Doctor," I replied ; "but if you have a
tstory to tell, you will find mo an eager listen
er." 'Very well, (hen, as I have a few minutes to
spare I will tell you one more wildly romantic,
more incredibly remarkable, if I may so speak,
than you probably ever found in a work of
. ... ,
hction. ig
"Twenty-five years ago," pursued the Doc'
tor, "I entered the medical College at F ,
as a student. I was then young, incxpericne
ed, and inclined tobc-timid and sentimental;
and well do I remember the horror I experi
enced, when one of the senior students, under
pretence of showing mo the beauties of the in
stitution, suddenly thrust me into the dissect
ing room, among several dead bodies, and
closed the door upon me ; nor do I forget how
many screeches of terror, and prayers of re
lease from the awful place, made niejthe laugh
ing stock of my older companions.
"Ridicule is a hard thing to bear; the cow
ard becomes brave to escape it, and the brave
manP fears it more than he would a belching
cannon. I suffered (rem it till I could bear it
no more ; and wrought up to a pitch of despe
ration, I demanded to know what Fmight do
to rouecm my character and gain an honorable
footing among my fellow students.
"I will tell you," said one, his eyes spark
ling with mischief; "if you will go at the mid
night hour, and dig up a subject, and take it
to your room and remain alone with it till
morning, we will let you off, and never say an
other word about your womanly fright." sj-
I shuddered, it was a fearful altcrnative,but
it seemed less terrible to sufler all the horrors
that might be concentrated into a single night
than to bear, day after day, the jeers of my
companions. -
"Where shall I go ? and when 7" was my
timid inquiry, and the very thought of such an
adventure made my blood run cold.
"To the Eastern Cemetry to-night, at 12 o'
clock," replied my tormentor, fixing his keen,
black eyes upon me, and allowing his thin
lips to curl with a smile of contempt. "But
what is the use of asking such a coward as
you to perform such a manly feat 7" he added
deridingly.
His words stung me to the quick ; and with
out further reflection, and scarcely aware of
what I was saying, I rejoined, boldly :
"I am no coward, sir, as I will prove to you
by performing what you call a manly feat."
"Yon will go 7" ho asked quickly.
"I will."
"Bravely said, my lad!" he rejoined, in
tone of approval, and changing his expression
of contempt for one of surprise and admira
tion. "Do this Morris, and the first who in
sults you afterward makes an enemy of me
Again I felt a cold shudder pass through
my frame, at the thought of what was before
me, but I had accepted his challenge in the
presence of many witnesses for this conver
sation occurred as we were leaving the hall,
after listening to an evening lecture and I
was rested to make my word good, should it
even ctssC my life ; in fact, I knew I could not
do otherwise now, without the risk of being
driven in disgrace from the college.
I should here observe, that in those days
there were no professional resurrectionists;
and as it was absolutely necessary to have sub
jects for dissection, the unpleasant business of
procuring them devolved upon the students,
who, in consequence, watched every funeral
eagerly, and calculated the chances of cheat
ing the sexton ot his charge and the grave of
its victim.
There had been a funeral that day, of a poor
orphan girl, who had been followed to the
gravo by very few friends, and was considered
a favorable chance for the party whose turn it
was to procure the next subject, as the graves
of the poor and friendless were never watched
with such keen vigilance as thosa of the rich
and influential. - Still it was no trifling risk to
attempt to exhume the bodies of the poorest
and humblest lor not unfrequently persons
were found on the watch even over these ; and
only the j"car before, one student, while at his
midnight work, had been mortally wounded by
a rifle ball ; and another, a month or two sub
sequently, had been rendered a cripple for
life by the same means.
All this was explained to me by a party of
six or eight, who accompanied nio to my room
which was in a building belonging to tho
college, and rented by apartments to such of
tha students as preferred bachelor's hall to
regular boarding and they took a care to add
several terrifying stories of ghosts and hob
goblins, by way of calming my excited ncrveSj
but as I have before observed old women stand
around a weak, feverish patient, and croak out
their experience in seeing awful fatal termina
tions of just such maladies as the one with
which their helpless victim was then afflicted.
"Is it expected that I should go alone 7" I
inquired in a tone that trembled in spite of
me, while my kuccs almost knocked together,
and I felt as if my very lips were white.
"Well, no," replied Benson, my most dread
ed tormentor ; "it would be hardly fair to send
you alone, for one individual could not suc
ceed in getting the body from the grave quick
enough, and you, a mere youth, without ex
perience, would be sure to fail altogether.
Xo, we will go with you, some three or four
of us, and help to dig up the corpse ; but then
you must take it on your back, briug it up to
your room here, and spend the night alone
with it!" '
It was some relief to me to find I was to
have company during the first part of my awful
undertaking; and chancing to look into a
mirror, as the time drew near for setting out,
I fairly started at beholding the ghastly object
I saw reflected therein.
i "Conie'boys," said Benson, who was always
by.general consent, the leader of whatever
hfrolic, expedition or undertaking he was to
have a hand in "Come, boys, it is time to be
on the move. A glorious night for us !" he
added, throwing up the window, and letting in
a fierce gust of wind and rain : "the d 1 him
self would hardly venture out in such a storm!"
He lit a dark lantern, then drew on his long,
heavy cloak, took up a spade, and led the
way down stairs ; and the rest of us, threo be
sides my timid self, threw on our cloaks also,
tocfc each a spade, and followed him.
We took a roundabout course, to avoid be
ing seen by any person that might chance to
be stirring, and in something less than an
hour we reached the Cemetery, scaled the
wall without difficulty, and stealthily searched
for the grave, till we found it, in the pitchy
darkness the wind and rain sweeping past us
with dismal howls and moans, that to me,
trembling as I was with terror, - seemed to be
the unearthly wailings of tho spirits of the
damned.
"Here we arc," whispered Benson to me, as
we at length stopped at a mound of fresh earth
over which one of the party had" stumbled.
"Come, feel round, Morris, and strike in your
spade, and let us see if you will make as good
a hand at exhuming a dead body as you will
some day at killing a living one with physic."
I did as directed, trembling in eveiy limb ;
but the first spade full threw up, I started
back with a yell of horror, that, on any other
but a howling, stormy night would have be
trayed us. It appeared to me as if 1 had thrust
my spade into a buried lakeoffhe for the
first dirt was all a glow like living coals ; and
as I had fancied the moaning of the storm the
wailings of lormcnted spirits, I now fancied I
had uncovered a small portion of the bottom
less pit itself.
"Fool !" hissed Benson, grasping my arm
with the gripe of a vice, as I stood leaning on
my spade for support, my very teeth chatter
ing with terror; "another yell like that and
I'll make a subject of you ! Are you not a
shamed of yourself to be scared out of your
wits, if J'ou ever had any, by a little phosphor
escent earth 7 Don't you know that it is of
ten found in graveyards 7"
His explanation re-assured me, though I was
too weak from my late fright, to be of any as
sistance to the party, who all fell to with a
will, secretly laughing at me, and soon they
reached the coflic. Splitting the lid with a
hatchet, which had been brought for the pur
pose, they quickly lifted out tho corpse and
then Benson and another of the party taking
hold of it, one at the head and another at the
feet, they hurried it away, bidding me follow,
and leaving the others to fill up the grave,
that it might not be suspected that tho body
had been exhumed.
Having got the body safely over the walls of
the Cemetery, Benson now called upon me to
perform my part of tbc horrible business.
"Here, you quaking simpleton," he said, "I
want you to take this on your back and make
the best of your way to your room, and remain
alone with it all night. If you do this brave
ly, we will claim you as one of us to-morrow j
and the first man that dares to say a word a
gainst your courage after that shall find a foe
in me. But hark you ! if you make any blun
der on the way and lose our prize, it will be
better for you to quit this place before I set
my eyes upon you again. Do you understand
me 7"
"Ye-yc-ye-ycs !" I stammered, with chat
tering teeth. , -
"Are you ready 7"
"Yeye-ye-ycs," I gasped.
"Well, come here ; where are you V
All this time it was so dark that I could not
see anything but a feint line of white, which I
knew to be the shroud of the corpse ; but I
felt carefully around till I got hold of Benson,
who told me to take off my cloak ; and then
rearing the cold dead body up against my back,
he began fixing the coM arms about my neck
bidding mb take hold of them and draw
them well over, and keep them concealed, and
be sure and not let go of them' on any consid
eration whatever, as I valued my life.
Ah! the torturing horror I experienced as I
mechanically followed his directions ! Tongue
could not describe it !
. . .
At length, having adjusted tha corpse so
that I might bear it oS with comparative ease,
he threw my long black cloak over my arms,
and fastened it with a cord about my neck, and
then inquired :
"Now, Morris, do you think you cau find
the way to yonr room 7"
"I-I do-do-don't know," 1 gasped, feeling
as if I should sink to the earth at the first step.
"Well, you cannot lose your way if you go
straight ahead," he replied. "Keep in the
middle of the road and it will take you to Col
lege Green, and then you arc all right. Come,
come, push on before your burden grows too
heavy ; the distance is only a good half mile V
I set forward with trembling nerves, expect
ing to sink to the ground at every step; but
gradually my terror, instead of weakening me,
gave me strength ; and I was soon on the run
splashing through mud and water with tho
storm howling me to fury, and the cold corpse
as I fancied, clinging to mo like a hideous
vampire.
How I reached my room I do not know but
probably by a sort of instinct; for I only re
member of my brain being in a feverish whirl,
with ghostly phantoms all about me, as one
sometimes sees them in a dyspeptic dream.
But reach my room I did, with my dead bur
den on my back ; and I was afterwards told
that I made wonderful time ; for Benson and
his fellow student, fearing the loss of their
sul ject which on account of the difficulty of
getting bodies, was very valuable followed
close behind me, and were obliged to run at
the top of their speed to keep me within hail
ing distance.
The first I remember distinctly, after -get
ting to my room, was finding myself awake in
bed, with a dim consciousness of something
horrible having happened though what, for
some minutes, I could not for the life of me
recollect. Giadually however the truth dawn
ed upon me ; and then I felt a cold perspira
tion start from every pore, at the thought that
perhaps I was occupying a room alone with a
corpse. The room was not dark ; there were
a few embers in the grate which threw out a
ruddy light ; and fearfully raising my head, J
glanced quickly and timidly around.
And there there on the floor, against the
right hand wall, but a few feet from me there,
sure enough, lay the cold still corpse, with a
gleam of firelight resting upon its ghastly face,
which to my excited lancy seemed to move
Did it move 7 I was gazing upon it, thrilled
and fascinated with an indescribable terror,
when, as sure as I see you now, I saw the lids
of its eyes unclose, and saw. its breast heave,
and heard a low stifled moan. .
. "Great God !" 1 shrieked, and fell back in
to a swoon. How long I lay unconscious I do
not know, but when I came to myself again,
it is a marvel to me that, in my excited state,
I did not lose my senses altogether, and be
come the inmate of a madhouse for there
right before me standing up in its white
shroud with its eyes wide open and staring
upon me, and its features thin, hollow and
death-hued was the corpse I had brought from
the cemetery.
"In God's name, avaunt !" I gasped. "Go
back to yonr grave and rest in peace ! I will
never disturb you again."
The large, hollow eyes looked more wildly
npon me the head moved the lips parted
and a voice in a somewhat sepulchral tone said :
"Where am I? Where am 1 7 Who are
vou7 Which world am I in 7 Am I livitg
or dead 7" ' '
"You were dead," I said, sitting up in bed
and feeling " as if my brain would burst with a
pressure of unspeakable horror ; "you were
dead and buried, and I was one of the guilty
wretches whothis night disturbed you in.your
peaceful rest". But go back, poor ghost, -in
Heaven's name, and no moitai power snail ev
er induce me to come nigh you again !"
"Oh, I feel laint !" said the corpse, gradu
ally sinking down upon tho floor with a groan
Where am 1 7 Oh, where am 1 7" '
"Great God!" I shouted, as the startling
truth suddenly flashed npon me ; "perhaps
this poor girl was buried alive, and is now liv
ing!" : , . '
1 bounded from the bed and grasped a hand
of the prostrate body. It was not warm but
it was not cold. I put my trembling fingers
upon the pulse. Did it beat or was it tho
pulse in my fingers 7 I thrust my hand upon
the heart. It was warm there was life there.
The breast heaved ; she breathed ; but tho
eyes were now closed, and the features had
the look of death. Still it was a living body,
or else I myself was insane. ;-
I sprung to tho door, tore it open, and shout
ed for help.
"Quick ! quick !" cried I, "the dead is a-
live ! the dead is alive !" 1
Several of the students, sleeping in adjoin
ing rooms, came hurrying to mine, thinking I
had gone mad with terror, as some ot them
had heard my voice before, and all knew to
what a fearful ordeal I bad been subjected.
"Poor fellow !" exclaimed one in a tone of
sympathy 'I predicted this. . s . .
"It is too bad," said another; "it was too
much for his nervous system." -
"I am not mad," said I, comprehending
their suspicions, "but the corpse is alive ! has
ten and see !"
They hurried inrt the room, one after an
other, and the foremost stooping down to what
he supposed was a corpse, put bis band upon
it, and instantly exclaimed :
"Quick! a light and some brandy. She
lives ! she lives !"
All was new bustle, confusion and excite
ment, one proposing one thing, another some
thing else, and all speaking together. They
placed her on the bed, and gave her some
brandy, when she again revived. I ran for a
physician, (one of the faculty,) who came and
tended upon her through the night, and by
sunrise the next morning she was reported to
bo in a fair way for recovery.
ow what do you think of my story so far 7'
queried tho Doctor, with a quiet smile.
"Very remarkable!" I replied; very re
markable, indeed ! But tell me, did the girl
finally recover 7"
'She did ; and turned out to be a most
beautiful creature, and only seventeen."
"And I suppose she blessed her resurrec
tionists all the rest of her life !" I rejoined,
with a laugh.
'She certainly held one of them in kind re
membrance," returned the Doctor,with a sigh.
"What became of her, Doctor 7"
"What should have become of her, accord
ing to the well known rules of poetic justice
of all you novel writers !" returned my friend,
with a poculiar smile.
"Why," said I, laughing, "she should have
turned out an heiress, and married you."
"And that is exactly what she did !" rejoin
ed the Doctor.
"Good heavens 1 You are jesting !"
"No, my friend, no," replied the Doctor, in
a faultering voice ; "that night of horror only
precccded the dawn of my happiness ; for that
girl sweet lovely Helen Leroy in time be
came my wife, and the mother of my two boys.
She sleeps now in death beneath the cold, cold
sod," added the Doctor, in a tremulous tone,
and brushing a tear away from bis eye ; "and
no human resurrectionists shall ever raise her
to life again !"
Absence of Mind. We were walking home
last night, about the witching hours, when we
saw an individual in a brown study, and a coat
of the same color, standing opposite the door
of ourdomicil. Satisfaction was in his eye,
and a small cane in his hand ; as wc approach
ed him, he stuttered : .
"Sir sir can you tell me where Jo-o-o-o
Pinto lives?"
"What a question!" said we, peering into
his face ; "why, Jo, my old fellow, you are
tho man yourself!"
"O, ye-ye-yes! I knew th-that," ejaculated
he, "but I want to know wh-where he lives 7"
"Why, this is your house this one eight
under your nose ." '
"Is it, eh 7 W-w-well then I'll be kicked if
something hasn't changed the door, for it won't
fit my key-hole, anyhow!"
"Like the weather, we 'mizzled inconti
nently'' - -
A farmer once hired a Vermontcr to assist
in drawing logs. The Yankee,when there was
a log to lift, generally contrived to secure the
smallest end, for which the farmer rebuked
him, and told him always to take the butt end.
Dinner came, and with it a sugar-loaf Indian
pudding. Jonathan sliced off a generous por
tion of the largest part, and giving the farmer
a wink, exclaimed : . "Always take the butt
cud." Jonathan was the first of the butl-enders.
A. Feettt Riddle. "I will consent to all
you desire," said a young lady to her lover,
"on condition that you will give mo what you
have not, what you never can have, and yet
what you can give me." What did she ask
for 7 A husband. -
Getting Ready:. A youngster, not quite 3
years old, said to his sister, while munching
gingerbread, ",Sis, take half of this cake to
keep Jill afternoon, when I get cross."
Stkaxge IxcoxsisTEscvi The Democratic
papers assert that the Fillmore party had no
stength, and yet accuse its members of knock
ing down the Democrats is Baltimore !
A SKETCH OF JOE SMITH,
THE JIORMOS PtOrBET.
Thirty years ago there lived near Palmyra,
Wayne county, XewYork, an obscure individ
ual, whose name has since become familiar to
the world. That individual was Joseph Smith,
tho Mormon prophet. A sketch of this per
son's life isjntcresting, not because wo find
anything in Lis character to admire, - but be
cause it presents to our view the origin of
Mormonism one of the most extravagant
humbugs that the world has ever witnessed.
The idea of a new religion originating in a per
son possessing less .than ordinary abilities,
and rapidly increasing in number till both the
Old and Xew World contain multitudes of pro
selytes, is a subject of much? interest, To
give the reader an idea of the origin of this
sect is the object of the present etsay. :
. The family of which Joseph was a member
was large, remarkable for neither intelligence
nor industry. His lather possessed a visiona
ry miua, and cherished tho notion that a pro
phet would arise out of his family ; . it is hard
to say why he should arrive at this conclusion,
yet the means of accomplishing , his wishes
were evidently in his own power, for it was
soon announced to the world that a brothpr of
Joseph was the expected prophet. It is evi
dent that this appointment was made by Di
viue authority, else so serious mistake could
not have occurred, for the prophet suddenly
died of surfeit of eating too much raw turnip !
The hopes of the ambitious father were not to
be blasted by this unfortunate occurrence ;
for it was soon known to the people of Stafford
street, where .they resided, that Joseph was
the successor of his brother.
In order to obtain a clear idea of the pro
phet's career, it will be necessary to refer to
his early years. . The boyhood of Joseph was
passed on the farm with his father. During
the winter months lie attended the district
schools where he acquired the little knowledge
which he possessed. Ho is " remembered by
his school-mates as being idle, and somewhat
vicious, and was regarded by all as a very dull
scholar. As a young man his prospects were
anything but cheering. He was engaged in
no steady employment, and might often have
been found lounging around the bar-rooms of
Palmyra in company with persons as worthless
and idle as himself. This was the general
character of Joseph Smith up to the time of
his prophetic career, and no one would have
surmised that he was, to become the founder
of a new religion, or an inglorious martyr at
Xauvoo.
Joseph's prophetic powers were first direc
ted to the acquisition of wealth ; money -dig-ing
soon engaged the attention of the family,
and a part of the neighberhood. Xight after
night these fanatics labored urged on by vis
ions of untold wealth. Excavations were
made in hillside and vallej, but Fortune, the
fickle goddess, refused to smile upon them.
Their golden visions were fruitless ; the pro
phecy was false.
At this state of affairs a circumstance occur
red which retrieved the waning hopes of the
prophet, and gave a new direction to his gen
ius. This was the discovery of the Book of
Mormon, or Mormon Bible. This event pro
ved to be thc-origm of Mormonism the lee
ble germ which produced the tree of giant
proportions, whose branches" have extended
over a large part of the known world. It
was pretended by the prophet that this re
cord was found on a hill, below the surface of
the ground written on plates of gold. This
being transcribed by a mysterious process, be
came the work now known as the Mormon
Bible. This is the fabulous account of its or
igin. Its authentic history is as follows : It
was writteu by a Vermont clergyman named
Spalding. It was intended merely as a work
of fiction, and was entitled "The Manuscript
Found." The author died before its circula
tion and, after vari jus fortunes, it fell into the
hands of Joe Smith, who at once made it acc-essar-to
his ambitious schemes.
It is probable that this book owes its origin
to that sentiment which prompts us to vener
ate old manuscripts which contain an account
of men and times long since passed away." It
professed to be the history of a people which
had its origin at the time of tho confusion of
tongues, cud whose prophet's name was Mor
mon. The slyle of the book is in immitation
of the Holy Bible, but in point of beauty of dic
tion, sublimity of character, and divinity of
its Author, it holds no comparison. - The only
work with which the Mormon Bible can bo
compared is tho Koran. Each is tic oracle
of a false religion, and the author of each was
an imposter. : - ' ' : ' '
Well may Mormonism blush at its parent
age. The life of its founder, exhibits no feat
ure worthy of immitation, and his character is
associated with all that is vicioos and immor
al. Mormonism itself.is bnt a specious bnni
bugfc whose vital principle is polygamy.
Such is tho man such the religion of which
he was the founder.
Oca Democratic Friends are exceedingly
well dressed, about these times, and sport any
quantity of new suits, hats, boots, &c. won
upon the election. ' Out in Indiana, Hon. C. L.
Dunham woro at one time thirteen overcoats,
with five more over each arm y ten hats on bis
head, and fourteen pairs of boots on his feet,
aU tropliNs ef the Yiafory aehleredV ' -
Cold. For every mile that we leave tho
surface of the earth, the temperature falls five
degrees." About forty-five miles distance from
the globe, we get beyond the atmosphere, and
enter, strictly speaking, into the regions of
space, whose temperature is 225 degrees below
zero, and here cold reign in all its power.
Some idea of this intense cold may be fornfed
by stating, that the greatest cold observed ia
the Arctic Circle, is from forty to sixty de
grees below zero ; and here many surprising
effects are produced. In the chemical labora
tory, the greatest cold that we can produce, is
about one hundred and fifty degrees below ze
ro. At this temperature, carbonic acid gas
becomes a solid substance , like mow. If
touched, it produces just the same effect upon
the skin as a ted-hot cinder ; it blisters tho
finger like a burn. Quicksilver or mercury
freezes forty degrees below zero, that is, seventy-two'
degrees below tho temperature at
which water freezes. The solid mercury may
then be treated as other metals, hammered in
to sheets, or made into spoons j such spoons
would, however, melt in water as warm as ice.
It is pretty certain that every liquid and gas
that we are acquainted with, would become sol
id if exposed to the cold of the regions of
space. The gas we light our streets with would
apfH-ar like wax ; oil would in reality bo "as
hard as rock ;" pure spirit which we have nev
er yet solidified, would appear like a block of
transparent crystal ; hydrogen gas would bo
come quite solid and resemble a metal; wo
should be able to turn butter in a lathe like a
piece of ivory, and the fragrant odors of flow
ers would have to be made hot before they
would yield perfume. These are sfew of tha
astonishing effects ol cold. Sci.jfr.
New Scrvetiso Instrument. The Quincy
H'hig states that Mr. W. L. nervey, of that ci
ty, has recentlj- procured a patent for a very
ingenious instrument called "The Surveyor."
This instrument is designed to accomplish the
labor of a surveyor and chainmen. It is sta
tionary, and surveys any space of which the
bounds may be distinctly seen. It has becu
examined by practical surveyors, who pro
nounce it an excellent invention. The IVhig
says by this instrument all the intricate calcu
lations are made mechanically, thus saving the
time and trouble ot the engineer in this de
partment, and which he must necessarily spend
when the usual method is employed. The new
invention enables the surveyor to run his lines
directly over rivers, swamps and other inac
cessible places. By it a field or coast can bo
surveyed, without moving tho instrument, if
all the points to be made can be seen distinct
ly from the starting place.
More Trutu than Toetey. The Xew
Hampshire Telegraph is of opinion that an ed
itor who cannot stop one of the finest trains
of thought, that he is putting on paper, t
minute the dimensions of a large pumpkin,
write an advertisement for a hog lost, enter
the name of a new subscriber, or receive pay
for an old one, or to take a cowhiding for
something he has said, and after all resume
the thread of his discourse, and carry ont tho
idea in its original force and beauty, is next
to no editor at all.
How to be a Woman- or Fashion. To be s
woman of fashion is one of the easiest things
in the world ; a late writer thus describes it ;
"Buy everything yon don't want, pay for noth
ing you do, smile on all mankind but your
husband, be happy everywhere but at homo,
adore the Broadway dandies, neglect yonr
children, nurse lajdogs, and go to church v
cry time yea get a new shawl.
Soke wag took a drunken fellow, placed him
in a coffin with the lid left so that he could
raise it, placed him in a grave yard, and wait
ed to see the effect. Af ter a short time th
fumes of the liquor left Lira, and his position
being rather confined, he 6at upright and look
ing around exclaimed: 'Well, I'm the first
that's riz ! or else I'm confoundedly belated
A Charitable Man. Kcv. Mr. - Stigglns
said : "I am a charitable man, and think ev
ery one entitled to his opinion and.neverj
cherish malice against my foes, not even -.
gainst Mr. Mulberry, who has indirectly called
me a sinner ; but still, if the Lord has a thun
derbolt to spare, I think it would be' well be
stowed on dear brother Mulberry's head." . .
Fres and Fast. Tho Princeton (Ind.)
Clarion issued a late numler, a day in advance
to give the boys in the office a chance to go
hunting onSaturday. TheClarion says the true
stale of the case is that its subscribers won't
pay, and the boys bad to be , turned . oil mast
for a day or two to live-they went"hunting
hickory nuts Hard times in Hoosierdou !
Becoming Reitblican. Billp hare been
introduced in the South Carolina Legislature'
to give the election of Governor and Presides-'
tial Electors to the people. '
Ax Irisuman seeing a vessel very heavily
laden, and scarcely above the water's edge ei
claiimd : "Upon'rny word ! if the sea was a bit
higher, the ship would go to the bottom J-,
. A FtLoxiofs Joke. The Xew Orleans Crm-
cent says the Demncracy have Lrofcea into ibm.
Vkite House with a Jiwtmy. i
II
lb