r
I
BY S. B. HOW.
CLEARFIELD, "WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2, 1856.
VOL. 2.-AT0. 31.
v- v y y ' ' ' v
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t'
TOO THE KSICKEHBOCKm.
STANZAS. .
I gate upon the stars, yet seo them not :
As star, I sea them not, although the skies ;
Are brilliant with their light ; all are forgot,
And Fancy in them sees alone tliiue ey3
Iark globes of beauty, floating bright and clear,
Amid their pure and liquid atmosphere.
The sound of waters and tha song of birds,
In youth and spring were joyous to my ear;
Bui no I hear in thcin alono thy worda,
Soft as that music, to my heart more dear; .
1 thee I feel again my youth and spring.
And in thy whisper hear the May-birds sing.
Oh ! tell me not how sweet tbo breath of line,
How fresh the roso, how fair the lily's bloom ;
'o petal's cheek is fresh or fair like thine ; -Tnj
br?2l!i u sweeter than tho hay's perfuino :
In Sidt no bliss I find, no beauty see,
tare what they borrow from my thoughts of thee.
""Well," sez I, s'poso they're mazin pop
ular with you, aint they, Miss Mary T" for I
!eit mighty oneasy, ana begin to spit a great
deal worse.
. "Yes," scz she, "they're the most interes
ts companions I ever had, and I am anxious
to resume their pleasant society.
. EDUCATION. . .
Rend before the Cumberland Co. Teachers Institute.
BY JESSIE BEISTtUCE.
It will not bo expected that I will present
anything new or novel upon tho subject of my
choice, which is Education, as that field has
been again and again, explored, bo that at this
I tell you what, that sort o' stumpod me, and time, I suppose that not one stone has been.
. MAJOR JOXES.
' Pisvri.LK, May 2Sth, 1842.
To Mb. Thompsos : Dear Sir Ever sense
you was down to Pinevillc, it's been on my
mind to write you a letterbut tho boys 'tew
ed I'd better hot, 'cause you mongbt take me
3" 'bout my .spellin' and dictionary. But
somwiiiiag happened to mo t'other night, so
monstrous provokin', that I can't help tellin'
you about it, so you can put other young chaps
ther gard. It nil cum of chewin' so much
tobacker, and I reckon I've wished there was
no sich plagy stuff, more'u five hundred times
venso jt happened.
' Tou know the Stallinses lives on the planta
tion in tho summer and goes to town in the
Winter. Well, Miss Mary Stallins, who you
know is tho darlinest'gal in the count, cum
homo t'other day to see her folks. You know
she's been to the Female College, down to Ma
con, for moat a year now. Before she went,
she used to go fishin' and hucklebcrryin' with
us, with nothin' but a calico sun-bonnet on,
and was the wildest thing you ever saw. 'Well,
I always used to havo a sort of a s:ieaKin' iio
l!oa of Mary Stt.llins, and so when she cum,
I brushed up, .nd was 'tcrmined to have a
rite serious talk with hor 'bout old matters ;
not knowin' but she mought be captivated by
ome of them Macou fellers. , ,
So, sure enough, oft" I started, unboknowin'
to SBf-.body, and rode rite, over to the planta
tion (you know ours is rite jinin tho widder
I spit rite slap on the chunk and made it
"flicker and flare" like tho mischief; it was a
good thing it did, ter I blushed as blue as a
Ginncy squash. -. ..
. I turned my tobacker round in my mouth,
and spit two or three times, aud the old chunk
kep up a most bominable fryin.
"Then I spose your gwine to forget old ac
quaintances,' sez I, "sense you's been to Ma
con, mong them lawyers and doctors ; is you
Miss Mary 7 You thinks more of them than
you does of anybody else, I spose."
"Oh," sez she, "I'm devoted to them I
think of them day and night !"
That was too much it shot me right up, and
I sot as still, as could be for mor'n a minute.
I never felt so warm behind the ears afore in
all my life. Thunder ! how my blood did bile
up all over mo, and I folt like I could knock
unturned, or one fountain un tasted. But as
the sweet waters of tho perennial fount aro al
ways pleasant to the taste and invigorating to
tho body, so the subject of education is al
ways one of interest to those in pursuit of its
rich and endurins: blessings.
Its happy influences havo been seen and felt
in every station of life. Under its genial rays
have been awakened, developed and brought
into active exercise, principles the noblest,
purest and most promotive of the highest wel
fare of the whole human race. It has brought
forth latent energies of vigorous minds, and
rendered them in tho highest degree useful to
themselves, their fellow-men and their God.
It hxs corrected the false teachings of preju
dice, broken down and destroyed the strong
holds of superstition aud transformed absurd
principles of morality into morals and devo-
Matthew Matix into a greas-spot, if he'd only tion, whose Ileavcn-born precepts tame tho
been thar. Miss Mary sot with her hankercher savage mind, disperse the deep, dark shades
up to her face, and I looked right into the Are of Paganism and Mahomedanism and control
place. The blue blazes was runnin round over the actions of all men, in a manner, and to
the old chunk, kctchin hold here and Jctin go such an extent, as to subserve and fnltil the
thar, sometimes gwine most out, and then Ma- design of their creation. It has reclaimed
zin up a little I couldn't speak I wasmakin many from the slough of shame and utter con,
up my mind for tellin her tho sitcatiou of my tempt and assigned them stations of honor and
hart I was jest gwine to tell her my feelins, profit, by enlighteningt heir darkened under
bid my month was full of tobacker, so I had standings, and calling into action the talent
to spit, and slap it went, right on tho light- which heretofore lay concealed in the tyiex-;
wood chunk, and out it went, spang ! plorcd recesses of their minds. By its pcr
I swar, I never did feci so in all ray born suasive and convincing teachings, it has check
days. I didn't know what to do. el the dissolute in the indulgence of wicked
r "My Lord, Miss Mary," scz I, "I didn't go and depraved propensities and vicious practi
to do it jest tell me the way to the kitchen, tices. It proclaims the position of a wise mr;n
and I'll go and git a light." to the world to be one of honor and stability,
". But she never said nothin, so I sot down agin, whilst that of a fool is one of hazard, rocking
thiukin she'd gone to get ono herself, for it to and fro, while beneath, tempestuous billows
was pich dark, and I couldn't see my hand a- of indignation and contempt are constantly
fore my face.
Well, I sot thar and ruminated, and waited
fcUUins.) Well, when I got thar, I felt a liltlo a Ion.e time' but sbe d5dQ,t como 60 1 lgun
ort o' sheepish jbut..I soon got over that,
wken 2Kss Carline said, (but sho didn't mean
me te hear her,) "There Pinney, (that's Miss
Mary's nickname, you know,) there's your bo
eoaie."
Mia3 Mary looked mighty sort o'redish when
I shuck her hand and told her howdy ; and she
made a sort of a stoop over aud a dodge back,
lite the little gals does to tho school-marm,
and said "Good cvenin', Mr. Jones," (she
used to always call me jest Joe.)
"Take a chair, Joseph," said Miss Carline j
end we st down in the parlor, and I begun to
Ulk to Miss Mary 'bout Macon, and the long
ride she had, and the bad roals, and the mon
strous hot weather, and the like.
She didn't say much, but was in a mighty
good humor and laughed a heap. I told her I
never seen sich a cha-.igo in anybody. Nor
never I did. Why, she didu't look "like the
same gal good gracious! she looked so nice
and trim jest like some of them pictures in
Mr. Graham's Magazine with her hair all koru
ei down longside her face, as slick and shincy
as a mahogany burow. When she langhcd
she didn t opui her mouth like she used to ;
to think maybe sho wasn't gone. I couldn't I
hear nothin, nor I couldn't seo nothin; so bi-
meby scz I, very low, fori didn't want to wake
up the family sez I.
"Miss Mary ! Miss Mary !" but nobody an
swered.
1 hinks I, what's to be done f I tried agin.
"Miss Mary ! Miss Mary !"sez I; but it was
no use.
Then I heard the gnls snickcrin and laughin
rolling, ever ready to swallow r.p tho victim of
blind desiro and groundless hopes, and con
sign hini to regions of obvious forgetfulncss.-
It is Universally believed th.iJU -it-j
of utility, and of all utilitarians the American
seems to be the most ultra. It is a principle
bequeathed from father to son, from mother to
daughter, and being once generally diffused,
of necessity makes itself known in every ac
tion
In proof of the universality of this princi
ple in this country, we need but refer you to
the extensive internal improvements of all the
of our country, which, when considered with
reference to the enlightenment of our mass,
and tho good Older and intelligence likely to
prevail ia all classes of society, as the result
of their universal diffusion and very liberal
encouragement, cannot bo too highly estima
ted. Thev exist in delightful unison with our
other republican institutions, and reflect their
,truoA character. . In no other land are the
springs so abundant whence flow copious
streams of political, social and personal hap
piness. -.
Then, permit mo, not only to recommend,
but to urge you to engage with earnestness and
assiduity In the noble and worthy enterprise
which yon have commenced. Drink deep at
tao crystal fount. Let not your present priv
ileges pass unimproved. The season which
you now call your own will soon have passed
forever. The wheel of time will shortly cany
you and it into the shades and realms of de
parted glory. Upon you will soon devolve tho
anxieties and cares belonging to and insepara
ble from tho duties of administering the af
fairs of your country. The liberties purchas
ed by the blood of your ancestors will be en
trusted to your gnardianship and protection.
The ranks of philosophers, statesmen and di
vines will soon have to be supplied from your
number. Prepare yourselves, then, woic, for
these anticipated duties and responsibilities.
Let no morality be neglected, but let every ef
fort bo sanctified by the influeuces of strictly
religious principles, and conscience approving,
gather laurels upon the mount of virtue aud
intelligence, and yours will be a pleasant lifo
and a happy death.
TIIOMAS JEFFEUSON. f Os Bkebiuso Horses. There la pronator
While this distinguished statesman and pa- greater amount of carelessness and indifferent
triot was Vice President of the United States, about securing a good or an improved , breed
it was customary tor tho individual holding of horses than there is about cows, cattle and
tho said high office to attend to bustness more shcep There aro probably too a greater num
in person than the refinements of mojc mod- bar of imperfect or third rate animals of this
em times will allow. It happened on one oc- species than of any other. At all events, we
casion that some important matter required think that in the course of one day's calling
his attention in Philadelphia, and some other on our neighbors or the farmers of any neigh
places distant from the capitol. In these days borhood we could find ten cows or oxec which"
a journey to Philadelphia was not to be per- would suit-U3, or fifty "sbcepfor one horso
formed in a few hours it was two or three which we would wish to own. " Ono reason of
days travel, and not of the most ploasant sort this may be .that wo kill off or .sell off poor
either. On his return he stopped in Balti- calves and poor lambs, whilo we never diyposo
more. It was four or Ave in tho afternoon of a colt in the samo summary way. , Anothor
when the Yice President rode up, suitlcss aad reason, probably, is that farmers goneral'y
unattended, to tho tavern. " A Scotchman by seem to consider any shape or sort of an ani-
the name cf Boyden kept the hotel, of late so
much improved and now so handsomely sus
tained by our worthy townsman Bcltzhcovcr.
The bucks of tho town were assembled in tho
large hall, smoking, stuttering, cracking jokes,
and otherwise engaged in the ct celeras of thei
day. Boyden was at the bar examining the
books; and doubtless making calculations re
specting his future prospects. Jefferson had
delivered his horse into the hands of the ost-
iu tho next room, and I begun to seo how it States to the railroads and canals which like
was; Miss Mary was gone and left me thar a- the actions and views of a healthy man, con-
' vey the fluid of life to every part of the syj
-nnar s roynaw". sczi, protty loud, so tern and render the actions of the whole har-
someDotfy might tell me ; but thev
laughed worse.
only monious. Xor has less utility been evinced
in tho happy turn of late vears eivon in :M
I begun to feel about the room, and tho fust ence, in its adaptation to agriculture and tho
thing i knew, spang! goes my head, rite agin other useful arts.
tne cage oi a ore that was standm open. The Education, once only known in tho halls of
ure uew, ana l coul.ln t help but swaro a little, science and literature, has now Wnm ti.
"d-n the dor," scz I, "whar's my hat V handmaid of the arts, and enuallv adorns the
1)1,1 oojy saui nothin, so I begun to think it mind of tho peasant and prince
was best for me to leave, and never mind my
bat. Well, I got through the parlor dore after
rakin my shins threo or four times agin the
chairs, and was tcidin along through the cntrv
It is a subject especially dear to every truly
;jnierican heart. Around it cluster some of
the most romantic and beautiful reflections
connectcu with our free and liberal institn
a:.l set up straight and still in her chair, and for lhe front llorc ; but somchw 1 wa3 s0 flus" t's- These are America's boasts. To them
looked so different, but so monstrous pretty!
1 ax u Iter a heap of questions, 'bout how she
liked Macon, and the Female College, and so
forth ; aad sho told me a heap 'bout 'em. But
eld Miss Stallins and Miss Carline and Miss
Kesiah, and all of 'em, kep all the timo inter
ruptin' us, axin 'bout mother if sho was well,
ad if she was gwine to the Spring Church next
Sunday, and what luck sho had with her soap,
fcu I a!! iich stufl" and I do believe I told the
old woman's old turky-hen was satin on four
tem eggs.
Well, I wasn't to be backed out in that-a-
way so T kep it a goin the best I could, 'til
tin?'. by old Miss Stallins let her knittin' full
three or four times, and then begun to nod and
snap back like a fishin-pole that was all the
time gitin bites. I seed the gals lookin' at
trated that I tuck the rong way, and bimeby
kerslash I went, rite over old Miss Stalinses
spinin-wheel, onto the floor ! I Lurt mvself a
good deel ; but that didn't make me half so
mad as to hear them confounded gals a gigMin
and Iaughin at mo.
"Oh," said one of 'cm (it was Miss Kesiah,
ion knowed licr voico,) "there goes mother's
wheel! my Lord !"
1 tried to set the cussed thing up, but it
seemed to have more'n twenty logs, and
wouldn't stand up no how may bo it was
can American freemen exultingly point and
say "There, behold tho palladium of our f ree
dom, the guarantee of its permanence!"
These are tho offspring of minds enlightened
and refined by tho two-fold influence of expe
rience and education.
Tho great superiority of our system of edu
cation over that of other lands manifests it
self, when a comparison is made between the
free institutions of our country, and those of
other men and timc3. Tho limited advantages
THE LADY IX GRAY SILK.
. The Xew York correspondent of the Phila
delphia Sunday Mercury, in referring to the
fact that tho Hon. James Quiggle, formerly a
member of the Pennsylvania Senato from Clin
ton aud Centre counties, had taken up his res
idencc in the "Quaker City," relates tho fol- find, however, in his plain dress pretty well
lowing amusing anecdote : covered with mud, anythinr indicating either
Som yesrs since, on the road from Lancas- wealth or distinction and in his usual rough
ter to Philadelphia, on a Mazing hot summer I style he said ;
"A room V .
Jefferson replied, "Yes, sir, I should like to
have a room to mrsctf, if I can get it !"
"A room, all to yourself 7 To, no we have
no room there's not a spare room in the
house alliull all occupied can't accommo
date you.'
The Yice President tnrned upon his heel,
ras
In
nial, on the female side, good enough to breed
from. Accordingly, old, . broken-dorrs, in
jured and diseased mares are frequently em
ployed for this purposo. Tor this traditional
notion, aud the practice lounicd npon it, it
would perplex any of its votaries to render a
good and valid reason. It seems to require
no great amount of proof to make it credible,
on tho other hand, that the value of tho pro
geny depends fully as much, if not more, on
ler, and walked into the tavern in order to the dam than on tho sire. If there h v
make arrangements in regard to his faro. truth in the established axiom that "like pro
Some ono touched Boyden upon the elbow, and duooa like," there should be more care than'
directed his attention to the stranger, who I there usually is, in selecting tho female.
Stood with his whip in his hand, striking it I Country Gentleman.-
occasionally upon his muddy leggins. Boyden
turned around and surveyed him from head to
loot, and concluding him to be an old farmer
from the country, whose company would add
no credit to his house, he said abruptly :
44 We have no room for you, sir."
Jeflerson did not hear the remark, and asked
if he could be accommodated with a room.
His voice which was commanding aud attrac
tive, occasioned another survey of his person
by the honest projector of tho house, whose
only care was for its reputation. He could not
day, Judge Jim PolIock,( your present Gov
ernor,) J'on. Jim Quig;e,( then plain Lawyer
-'J, 'ii.,) ud j-our -wpTrnden?., who knew
the former well, but not tho latter, were alone
in tho rearmost car of the train. Jim Pollook
was looking out of the car window, at a place
where the train stopped to water, when sud
denly he drew his white handkerchief from
his pocket, aud began vigorously, waving it in I callod for his horse, which by this time
the air, at the same time bobbing his head out snS in the stable, mounted and rode off".
of the window in a very vigorous manner.
Porrnn Lies. In a lecture upon "Practi
cal Life," by Kcv. K. II. Chapiny he hits off
one of the popular vices of society in a very
cflective manner. The reverend satirist says i
"Lies of action are blood relations to lies of
speech, and oral lies constitute a small share
of the falsehoods in the world. ,Thcre are Ilea
of custom and lies of fashion ; lies of padding
and lies of whalebone ; lies of the-first water
in diamonds of paste, and unblushing blushes
of lies to which a tdiower would give a differ
ent complexion ; the politician's lies, who,
like a circus rider, strides two horses at once;
the coquette's lies, who like a professor of le
gerdemain, keeps six idatcs dancing at a time;
lies sandwiched between bargains ; lies in liv
ery behind republican coaches, in all the pomp
of gold band and buttons ; lies of red tape and
sealing wax ; lies from the cannon's mouth ;
lies in tho name of glorious principles that
might make dead heroes clatter in their graves;
Malakofjs of lies, standing upon sacred dust,
and lifting t::eir audacious pinnacles te the
light of the eternal Heaven !"
a few minutes one of the most wealthy and
Col. Fremont is thought to be tho richest
man in the world, at this timo. The Presi-
" What aro you about, Judge ? asked Mr. distinguished men of tho town came in and dent has signed tho patent confirming hi,
Q., without rising from his seat
, ir i j a .
ii y, uon-1 you see yonaer J I here's a
lady waving a white handkerchief, "and I'm
returning the salute somo acquaintance I
made formerly, I suppose V
,.1- 1 C. 1 ... I'm
u xvrtuo Be.uie,:,aB ao roue up to the I title to hisfgreat Mariposa claims ia Cali
door a few minutes before. r..,.!, TM l;t.u '
"Gentleman!" said Boyden. ."There has wards of seventv sauare mi!,, ;,,! vJt
been no gentleman here on horseback this af- two hundred and fift v miles Mst-rlv Y.,, s,
ternoon, and no stranger at all, but one com- Francisco. Messrs. Palmar.' Pn,,!- x- i,.,
Judge P., ceased, but in a feV moments ho "on looking country fellow, who came In and California bankers, own one undivided half of
again looked out and resumed tho oporation I asked if he could have a whole room ; but I
with his cambric 1 asked him out of that laichtv ouick. I fU
"Who is she, Judge ?" asked Mr. Q., as ho you. I told hiu I had no room for such chaps
lounged in one corner of the car, with his ne- as him ?"
ther extremities curled up like a gigantic cap- "Xo room for such chaps as him ?"
ital Z. "Xo, by the pipers, no room for anvbodr
" Well, the fact is, I don't exactly know; that don't look respectable," said the landlord.
I'm quite near sighted, and can't recognize "Why, what are you talking about, man?
her, but she is dressed in grey silk, and stands He's the Yice President of the U. States."
yonder, uudcr a big maple tree, near my friend "Yice President of the United States !" ex
John B 's house." claimed Boyden, almost breathless with astnn-
By-and bv the locomotive jrave a snort, and I ishment.
the train began to move. Judge Pollock again "Why, yes sir. Thomas Jefferson, the Yice
flirted his cambric to the lady in a final salute, President of the United States, and tho .if.
j c - -
tho tract, and Col. J. C. Ficmont the other,
which, many persons believe, makes him tha
richest man in the world. Colonel Fremout
bought this ijimense gold region in 1846, for
the sum of f 3,000, and was laughed at for the
recklessness of his investment. It lias alrea
dy yielded somo thirty-five millions of dollars,
and its resources, both mineral and agricultu
ral, are said to be inexhaustible.
and this tiwo Jim Quiggle thought he would
have a peep at her. So he crossed over to the
Judge, and poking out his head, took a view,
but didu t see the lady. Nevertheless, the rniiaii?
of education under covernments cither ancient
broke, l w ent out of the dore, but hadn't or modern, which aro not established upon tho
more'n gtft down the steps, when bow ! wow ! samo principles, and administered with rcfer
wow ! comes fcur or five infernal grate biff ence to the highest trood of tha mvWnt ..
coon-uogs, rue at me. "Uit out! gb out! lone, are here extended so as to be accessible
neiiow, uato! call oil your dpgs !" scz I, as to all desirous of attaining a resnert.,hl, tw,,5
loud as I could. But Cato was sound asleep, tion, in a land overflowing with books and on
one another and pinchin one another's elbows, and if I hadn't run back into the hall, and got portunitics for tho acquirement of that knowl
i i oaiu bih: nuuucrcu iim ume "...uu. w yunik as i cuuiu, iiicui cage inaispensmic to onrsucccss in investi-
it was, and said tho College disciplines, or devils would o'ehawed my bones for true. gating the multitudinous and enchantinz works
scmeuun- nue that, ciiuu t 'low late hours. I "on l got to my norsc, t leic like a feller of God's creation
seed how the game was gwine but howsum- Jest out of a hornet s nest; and I reckon I So far as civilization has kept pace with the
ever, I kep taikin' to her liko a cotton gin in went iiome a little of tho quickest. Xcxt progress of education, so far have tho mists of
packin' time, as I could clip it, 'til bimeby monuu old .uiss fctalhns scut my bat by a lit-
theOld lady went to bed, and arter a bit the tie nigger; but I haint seed Mary Stallins
sense.- Now you folk'es see what comes ef
chawin tobacker ! No more from
- Yourfrend, tjlldeth, Jos. Joses.
P. S. I blicve Miss Mary's gone to the Fe
male College arin. If you see her. I wish vou
gals all cleared, and left Miss Mary to herself.
That was jest the thing I wanted.
" Well, she sot on one sida of tho fire-place
and I sot on ' t'other, so I could spit on the
harth, war ther was nothin' but a lightered
chunk burnin' to give light. ' Well, we talked would say a good word to her for me, and tell
and talked, and I know you would like to hear uef I forgive her all, and I hope she will do
-ell we talked about,' but that would be too the same by me. Don't you think I'd better
long. When I'm very interested in any thing, rite her a letter, and explano matters to her?
rgit bother'd about anything, I can't help ; Xotabesv. This letter was rit to my per-
chawin a heap of tobacker, and then I spits tickcler friend Mr. Thompson, when he was
uncontionable, 'specially if I'm taikin. Well, editen the Family Companion Magazine; down
we sot thar and talked, and the way I spit, was In Macon. I had no notion cf turnin author
larmcn to the crickets ! I axed her If she had then; but when it come out with my name to
any boes down to Macon. 1 it, and ther want no use flenyin it, and espe-
- 0h, yes," the said, aud then sho went on cially as he rit me a letter beggin I would go
and named over Matthew ilatix, Nat. Filoso- on and 'rite for the Miscellany, I felt a obliga-
Ty,Al." Geber, Rttric Stronomy. and 'a whole tion rcstin on me to. continue . my correspon-
"hcap of fellers, that she'd been kecpin' ccm- donee to that paper." All my other letters was
pany with most all her tirae. " rit to Mr. Thorn j3on;" in Madison. - ', ,:J.' JV
superstition been driven away, and the voices
of tyranny and despotism hushed. True, the
ancient Greeks, may boast, and justly, too, of
a SocrateB, a Plato, a Pythagoras and a De
mosthenes- the Romans of a Tacitus, a Livy,
a Horace and a Cicero ; but we blush ' not in
their presence, when we call to mind the names
of a Franklin, an Adams, a Clay, a Calhoan,
a Webster, and a host of others, equally bril
liant in the galaxy of our philosophers, states
men and orators, i "
Our facilities of acquiring an education are
undoubtedly superior to theirs. Their labor,
their experience and researches havo in a great
measure been handed down to us, and furnish
ed us with material upon which to enlarge and
improve, .iue goverment itseu has almost in
finitely multiplied the advantages for the in
struction of all classes; and whilst it has no
bly and liberally encouraged our academies,
colleges and. other seminaries of learning, it
has by no means neglected the Free Schools
Judge kept on waving his handkerchief, the
perspiration rolling down his face with the
effort.
"Where is she 7 I don't seo anybody,"
said Mr. Q., alter scanning tho landscape,
without observing any female.
"There !" was tho rather petulant reply;
est man alive."
"Murder, what have I done ?" cried Bovden.
"Here Tom, Jim, Jerry, Dick, Jake where !
Here, fly, you villians flv and
tell that gentleman we've forty rooms at his
service ! By George ! Yice President, Tho
mas Jefferson ! Tell him to come back and he
shall havo my wife's parlor my own room !
Jupiter! what havo I done? Here Harriet,
Mary, Jule, clear out the family ! he shall have
tho best room and all of the rooms If he
A friexd of Cuvier's once took the horns
and hoofs of an ox, and approaching the bod-
side of the great naturalist, and waking him
from a sound sleep, announced himself as tho
devil, who had come to'eat him. Cuvier rub
bd his eyes, and glanced at the nondescript
from hoof to horns, when be lay down and
quietly remarked IIorns hoofs graminir
erous eat grass can't come it go away I"
"Once ou a time," says history, a Scotch
pedestrian was attacked by three thieves. Ha
defended himself well, but was overcome;
when the thieves much to their astonishment,
found that he owned only tho small sum of a
sixpence. Tho devil's ia the fellow said
one, to fight thus for sixpence. Why, if he'd
7 '
"aou-tyou see wianauyinuie grey suk areas, wants them! Off. you hussies, nut cleat
taimiiigunuervuaiuioeu.wavjDgawnue sheets on the bed 1 Bill, take nn tl,i mirmri K , . .... " "J
handkerchief ? n fc iT. ." 7. caa 6nmiDS W all.'
There was a suppressed snorting sonnd, and Georce. what a mistake!" - I Little GnusThere is omfhin
Jim Quiggle rolled over on the seat, red in the For Cftcen minutt.s Bovden raved like a PrcsEilj,y ' sweet about little girls. Lovely
face as a boiled lobster, white your correspon- madraan, and went fiftT. time. to the rtnr . pare, innocent, unsuspectimr. fall r kind.
dent picked him up in a state of virulent par- 8eo If his wished for rnest wa trmn.T to brothers, and babies, and -rrrhinw
oxyism of laughter, and laid him out upon the The Yice President rode un to Markot .rf They are sweet little human flowers : diamond
After sacrificing all the buttons on his where be was recognized bv n.Mr ,.r . dew drons in the breath of mr ffk.t . ;,..
vest and waistbands, he explained to the qaaintances, and bv them dirertrl ,ii thev ever become women-flirt. nd h.U..
juageme occasion oi me cacninnaiory spasm. Glo5e tavern, which stood .Amu-h..r it.- coquettes.
fPL. 1.-.1 1 1 1... " . . ....i lUO ,
i nC j uuge i.au otien eicnangmg gaiuies ior corncr of Mukct and Charles f . iw
twenty minutes with an old iron-grey mare, dcll, s,rr,ta came . tA i.; .J-..
whose long white tail, as it flapped away the master had urovidad room. fY.r m
flics, had been taken by him for a white hand- ,.Tel, Lim t h,ve enpapn(1 roftm. . -,
kerchief, waved by a lady in a grey silk dress ! ferson.
The Judge didn't swear, but he changed the ' J '
subject to sawmills, tho only port on of which i-mi.;.,. a , , - . " oe
-.,,. ... . . 1U; . . imagined than described ; tho chaps who were
wasintell.gible, being tho lrequent repetition loitprin ah ' , ,
of the word "dam." ' . " I V j , l-i , ,, ii ani
nay. juugiiuu uearuiy ar. me aisappointment of
the muddy farmer, had recovered from their j
astonishment, and were preparing to laugh at
their downcast landlord.' After some time ho
prevailed npon some friend to wait on Mr.
Jefferson with his apology, aud requested that
he should "return arid' take lodgings at his
house, promising the best rgom nd all the at-
As Irish Will "I will and bequeath to
my beloved wife Bridget, all ray property
without reserve ; and to my eldest son, Pat
rick, one half of the remainder, and to Dennis,
my youngest son, the rest. If anything is loft
it may go to Terrence McCarthy."
Tue editor of the New York Dutchman, tention that could be given him. .
speaking of a drink he once had occasion to Mr- Jefferson returned the following answer:
indulge in, says he . couldn 't tell whether it "l eJt?'7!AB:T.r"; V . i vreci-
vK j a' . ,. . .- . . -..wiw, um 1 1 no ii au no room
was brandy or a torchlight procession going for the muddy farmer, he ehall h-ve none for
down his throat. t l ; , . J the Vice Resident." Jtatomore .MtnaenZ ,
In olden time, unmarried worces used is
wear a scarlet petticoat during leap-year." If
they exhibited the edge of this garment to
any man, he was bound to marry them, bnt
could buy himself off by presenting the lady
with a new gown a cheap alternative. - " '
. Dr. Hale, beinar present when the plurality
of worlds fv.-med tib uict cf coaveisatlos,
is said to have afce-d 'uzj tc-ic .'-'tccca h-
hadn't a living io fcicl." ,: .
There is a man in Coanecticnt trho "has sue!
a hatred for everything appcrtainlns to a mon
archy that he won't wear a crown en his hat f
A blowivo machine has just been patented.
It is got up on the principle of a newly elected
alderman. It will doubtless succeed. . '
A takce KDiron says that the glrla co
!.. . . i j .i.. . r-
fiaiu uim ilia lliuci I C tu Ut'X IUC JJOflD ' ;T
can't pay their distrescs.'V---"i, -'lp 0X.
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