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rv-i ft-ii ri u. u lj u m u m
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VOL. 2.-NO. 29.
CLEARFIELD, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 27, 18-50.
BY S. B. BOW.
': WWTEItTHE POOR.
... , AS OLD BALLAD.
Bleak o'er the plain the winds tremendous blow,
Of purest white the fleecy shower descends;
The tyrant frost forbids the streams to flow,
And ay its horror rig'rous winter spends.
Ji'ow ye, who fortune's various gifts enjoy,
Whoba-k in sunshine of her warmest rays ;
Ye. whom nor tempest, cold, nor want annoy,
Whose days glide on in affluence and ease ;
Think of the Poor, tho destitute forlorn
Extend your bonnty to tho wretch distressed ;
Pluck from the tortur'd breast the cank'ring thoru,
By misery pointed and by care impressed.
Let not yonr hearts, by gaiety misled,.
Be rendered callous to the tale of woe;
But clothe the naked, give the hungry bread;
Forbid the tears of wretchedness to flow.
For, oh ! the rigors of the year require
Some fostering hand tho lingering wretch to save.
Leave for a while your mirth, your social fire,
To rescue suffering mortals from the grave.
Tor know your fortune is the gift of hcavrn,
But'not by heaven for you alone designed ;
In trust for gen'rous purposes 'twas giv'n,
And proves a blessing to the gen'ruus mind.
Frove yourselves worthy of the sacred trust ;
From dire oppression rescue the opprest;
1'eljevo yeur fellow creatures ; 'tis but juat ;
And you in bleysing will be ever blest.
OUR COOTRY'S DANGERS.
In tho Lutheran Observer we find lengthy ex
tracts from a aernion, delivered at Hollidays
burg, on the 22d of Nov., by Rev. L. Knight,
from 1 Tim. 2, 1-4. "The text, be says, im
plies that the early christians were in danger of
losing their religious liberty that they were
In danger of not leading a quiet, peaceable
lifo in godliness and honesty," and inquires,
"Aro we In danger of losing our civil and re
ligious liberties 7 &c. We may infer from the
text that there is danger, because this Scrip
ture was intended as a rule of faith and action
for all christians in future time." Luxury he
regards as one source of danger to the civil
and religious liberties of this country, being
an enemy to any form of government, and has
been tho overt brow of those who were proof
against tho mighty armies of the earth. Han
nibal, the great Carthagenian general, after Sic
battle of Cannrc, In which 40,000 Romans were
plain, with whose dead bodies the son of Amil
carnado abridge, and sent three bushels of
gold rings, taken from tho fingers of the slain
Roman Knights, to Carthago, had Rome in his
power ; but he retired to Capua, whero the
Carthagenian soldiers soon forgot to coe iter
In the pleasures of the luxurious city, and in
stead of Hannibal taking tho city, tho city
took' him and his mighty army. Luxury was
thtir overthrow. It afterwards proved the ru
la of Homo herself, and other ancient repub
lics. Let us not flatter ourselves that wo are
In no danger from this insinuating and enchant
ing foe. There is a false, a too fastidious or
squeamish refinement finding its way into the
churches, and even into the -pulpits of the
country, and is sapping the very foundations
of Christianity. St. Paul said, 2 Tim. iv, 0,4,
"The time will como when they will not en
dnra sound doctrine, but after their owu lusts
ihalt' Leap to them teachers, having itching
ars,"fcc. And as to extravagant indulgences
In the pleasures of tho table, and t!ie exhorbt
tantussi of costly dress and equipage; though
the crops should fail and the times grow pincJj
lng hard; though many rich become poor, and
the merchants becomo bankrupt ; though pes
tilence bhould walk in darkness and destruc
tion waste at noon-day; and though thousands
fall in the East and in the South, in tho "West
or In the North, ono half the survivors would
Import the most costly silks, cloth3, biandies,
wines and gewgaws clothe in fine linen and
faro sumptuously every day, while the other
half might go in rags and starve. Licentious
ness and drunkenness are ever the foul com
panions of luxury. More than ten millions of
gallons of rum have been consumed by the in
habitant of tho United States since the sign
ing of the Declaration of Independence, cost
ing iu dollars alone more than five billions, and
has sent sertn millions of drunkards into eter
nity; has caused pauperism, crime, imprison
ment the cost of trials arid punishment, add
ed to that of tho liquor, loss of time, &c,
would amount to a sum sufficient to build
20,000 miles of canals, 50,000 miles of railroad,
support all the colleges, seminaries and church
es of tho country, educate all tho children,
keep all the poor, and send the Bible and mis
sionaries to every heathen nation on the globe.
Is it a wonder we groan under our taxes 7 Is
it a wonder that we have such cnormcus na
tional and etato debts? Is it not a wonder
that we yet exist 7
-' Another source of danger to the country is
political corruption. This is found in all ranks
"ofonr office bearers; and if occasionally an
'exception is found, ore t, ho has the nobleness
'of soul Jto resist bribery and stem the desola
ting tide of political corruption and deraa
togncisnn, in vindication ol right, truth and
justice, ho is soon forsaken by all the number
. less and nameless parties of the country, con
sidered eccentric, and laughed at for his pains.
The time was when ministers of the gospel
were expected to discourse freely from the
pulpit on the political condition of the coun
try. As an evidence of this wo have only to
consult the published r sermons of ancient di
vines. This was in the days of Washington,
Hamilton;-Jay, ScC. Bnt alas! my country
men, .how changed the times. Now a minister
bf t4rf, g! w-b.61 ?uht to know at .least as
much as aaother fumble citizC!?; Jaf e scarcely
xpress bis opinion in public or private ,V ?f he
fceve the presuhj:!;on to exercise his humble
privilege at the ballot-box, he often gives mor
tal offence.
A third source of danger is Popery. Of this
we have long ago been warned by such illustri
ous men as Washington and Lafayette. Many
Koman Catholics in this country are no doubt
among our best class of citizens and little know
the intentions of their leaders. Many Protest
ants, too, apprehend no danger from this
source, at least they profess not to see it.
There are many Jesuits in this country, some
wearing tho garb of neutrality ,and others even
that of Protestantism! And, although tho
bold attempt to destroy our free school system,
the burning of the sacred word of God, and
the sudden entrance into the political arena
and grasping the balance of power, did arouse
American freemen from their slumbers for a
little season; they seem Eevcrtheless to be clo
sing their eyes again in security. And unless
God in mercy prevent it, they will awake be
fore long, like Samson, shorn of their strength.
Bonaparte, one of the most sagacious men and
greatest generals that ever lived, was outwit
ted and ruined by two Jesuits in his cibinet.
And then we have in this country thousands
Ol" nothingarians, or dough-faced Protestants
and political Esaus, who would sell their coun
try's liberty for a mess of postage. Daniel ()'
Conaell, said in 1813, "You should do all in
your power io carry out the intentions of his
holiness, tho Pope. Where you have the elec
toral franchise, give votes to none but those who
tcill assist yen in so holy a struggle." Brown
son says in his Review, (Koman Catholic,) of
November, 18-31, that government "is. a mis
chievous thing where tho Catholic faith does
not predominate to inspire the people with rev
erence and to teach and accustom them to obey.
The last lesson to be forgotten is obedience.
But is it the intention of the Pope to possess
this country ? Undoubtedly it is. And in this
intention, is he aided by the Jesuits and all tho
Catholic prelates and priests in the country 7
Undoubtedly. If they are faithful to their re
ligion." What can be more plain 7 Roman
ists themselves tell us their intentions. The
orders are from head-quarters, that Catholics
in this country arc to voto for such persons
oalyjnho vwll assist thena ia carrying out their
intention. And thu intentions ar to have
the power in this country. An 1 1 ask every
unprejudiced 1,-sind, have Romanists not been
voting, are they not now voting, and will they
not continue to vote, agreeably to these or
ders 1 Yes, vcrliy, to a man. And they will
have many Protestants to help them to carry
out their intentions. And then, according to
Catholic authority, (The Rambler,) "If it will
benefit the cause of Catholicism, thePopo will
tolerate them: but if expedient, he will impri
son, banish, fine or hang them. Ono thing be.
assured of, he never will tolerato them for
their glorious principles and civil and religi
ous liberty." God save the country from the
rulo of the Romanists and their allies.
Another source of danger to tho civil and
religious liberties of the country is infidelity.
We may learn what would bo our condition,
from the condition of that country where infi
dels aud atheists did possess the supreme pow
er and government, and attempt to dispose of
human happiness according to their own doc
trines and wishes : "The name and profession
of Christianity was renounced by the legisla
ture. Death was declared to be an eternal
sleep. The existence of tho Deify and the im
mortality of the soul were formally disavowed
by the national convention, and the doctrine
of the resurrection from the dead was declared
to have been only preached by superstition for
the torment of the living. Correspondent with
these professions were the effects actually pro
duced. Public worship was utterly abolished
The churches in France were converted into
temples of reason, in which atheistical and li
centious homilies wcrs delivered ; and an ab
surd and Judicrous imitation of the pagan my
thology was exhibited under tho title of the
religion of reason. In the principal church of
every town a tutelary goddess was installed,
and tho females selected to personify this new
divinity were mostly prostitutes, who receiv
ed the adorations of the municipal officers and
multitudes of people, constrained by fear, fa
vor or the motive of gain. All distinctions of
right and wrong were confounded; tragedy
followed tragedy in almost breathless succes
sion on the theatre of France ; the waters of
the river were impeded in their progress by
the diowned bodies of ministers of religion;
children wre nut to death as they clung about
the knees of their destroyers ; the moral and
soeial ties were all broken : women denounced
their husbands, brothers, and sons as bad citi
zens and traitors !"
Three millions of human beings are suppos
ed to have perished in Franco through the in
fluence of infidelity ! "O, unhappy France !
Never, perhaps, will she altogether recover
from these dire effects. Should we, as a nation,
adopt such sentiments, what crimes would we
not perpetrate, what agonies would we not suf
fer 7 And are wc in no danger ? What mean
those gatherings in many parts of our country
fof mirth aud pleasure on the holy Christian
Sabbath, trampling it with "contempt in tho
dust 7 What mean those eilorts put forth to
have the Lord's day abolished, as it was in
France? What mean all the numberless and
nameless ' infidel" associations "in the country,'
from Mermonism "down through "Spiritualism
to Free Love societies 7 What mean those ef
forts occasionally put forth by our rulers to
have the Bible, all ministers of the gospcl,and
their services excluded from the Senate cham
bers and Congress halls of the nation 7 What
means that, great opposition to the Bible, on
which our civil and religious-institutions aro
mainly built ? O say not there is no danger ;
when there are thousands upon thousands, both
native born and foreign, as rank infidels in this
country as there ever wero in France; and
when thousands moro of the same sort are
landing on our shores annually. And if wo
would never have reason substituted for the
Bible; if we would have no foreign potentate
build upon our ruins; if we would not see our
government sapped to its foundation, our con
stitution trampled in the dust, our glorious
union divided, and our beloved country bleed
ing at every pore ; if we would never stoop to
the dogmas of the mystic Babylon, nor bow the
kneeia vassalage te her sainted bishop, we must
faithfully obey the injunctions of the text.
THE COLISEUM AT HOME.
From the X. Y. Observer.
The coliseum is one of the noblest ruins of
ancient times. It is a magnificent structure,
even in its present dilapidated state, and is
peopled with a thousand associations among
which the scholar and the Christian linger with
equal interest. It was called by the ancient
Romans the Flavian Amphitheatre, from Fla
vins Ycspasianus, who laid the foundation up
on a portion of the space occupied by Nero in
ornamenting his famous golden house cr pa
lace. It stands in a valley between the Pala
tine, the Esquiline and the Cudian hills. Ves
pasian did not live to complete it. Ho died
after laying the foundation ; but his son Titus,
whose name is forever associated with the fall
of the Holy City, took up the work and com
ploteJ it. It is said that Titus employed in
this work the Jews whom he brought as cap
tives to Rome after th'e taking of Jerusalem.
Tradition also says that it was designed by a
Christian architect, who was subject to the
despotic authority of the emperor, and who
afterwards suffered martvrdom. At lt:e dedi
cation of the building 5,000 wild beasts were
slain in the arena, and games were celebrated
for nearly 100 days continuously.
Tl:c form of tho Coliseum is oval, its gicat
er axis being C20 feet and the smaller 52 ',
making the circuit about one-third of a mile.
The superficial space that it covers is nearly
six acres, the greater portion of which is oc-
pied by the massive walls and arches that sup
ported the seats, which ran back from tho arc
na to the heighth of more than 150 feet above
the giound ; the outer wall as it stands being
107 feet high. Tho arena which was devoted
to the games and gladiatorial shows in early
tiaies, is about SCO feet in length, and less
than 200 wide, corresponding in shape to tho
ovrtl form of the building. The structure it
self has suffered greatly from the ravages of
hands equally profane with those which caus
ed its erection. For a long time it served as
a. common quarry for Rome, several of the
palaces and many more of tho private dwel
ling having been built from the material cf its
walls. This work of demolition was arrested
by its consecration to the memory of the Chris
tian martyrs who had perished in the arena.
One form of idolatry is frequently substituted
in Rome for another. Ancient paganism has
been superseded by a system which still al
lows the worship of wood and of stone. . A
large cross now stands in the centre of the are
na, bearing an inscription which promises 200
days indulgence to all who kiss it, and as many
days for each kiss. I have often stood and
watched the ignorant devotees of popery, stop
ping to purchase by such an embrace a more
speedy release from the pains of purgatory,
and repeating the embrace in' the vain and
senseless hope that kissing the wood was an
effectual means of laying up for themselves a
ttorc of graco to bo used in the time of need.
The student of ancient history lingers with
the deepest interest around this vast building,
as his imagination carries him back to the
days when some eighty or a hundred thousand
were assembled to witness the games in which
the combatants met to try their strength in
mortal strife, or to fall a prey to wild beasts.
On j can almost see the wrestlers or the gladi
ators, and hear the shouts of tho myriads as
some favorite is victorious. But to the Chris
tian this amphitheatre :s full of the most sa
cred associations, painful though they be.
Here thousands of the early disciples of Jesus
suffered death, and, strange to say, contribu
ted to the sport of their pagan persecutors.
Here were witnessed by countless crowds, a
mopg which sat emperors, scenes over which
angels hovered, as they waited to conduct the
spirits, of tho suffering saints to rcceivo tho
palm of victory and the crown of martyrdom
on high. ,
The noblest of the martyrs of tho Coliseum
was Ignatius, bishop of Antioch. While the
Emperor Trajan was visiting this ci.y,he heard
of the faith and zeal of this minister of Christ,
and offered him a large reward if he would sac
rifice to the Roman gods. . He replied, "should
you offer me all tha treasures of your empire,
I would not cease to adorei the only true and
living God.", Ignatius was summoned to,
Rime after having been threatened without a
vail. - On his way he was met eveiywhere by i
Christian friends whom he encouraged to per
severe, and who in turn strengthened his heart
in its purpose not to shrink from any suffering
for the sake of Christ. He besought the Chris
tians of Rome not to intercede for his life, ex
pressing his perfect willingness to meet the
wild beasts and to become their food, that he
might show his love to Jesus. When brought
into the amphitheatre he thus addressed the
assembled multitude who were eager to wit
ness his death ; "Men and Romans, know that
I am not brought hero for any crime, but for
the glory of tho God I worship;" and the
words had scarcely fallen from his lips before
the lions were Jet loose upon him, and soon
tore him to pieces. After tho sports of the
day vere over his friends entered the arena
and fathered up the few bones that were left,
and buried them. Many thousands of the fol
lowers of Christ perished in the Coliseum in a
similar manner.
The last of its martyrs was the monk Tele
maclius. For three centuries gladiatorial com
bats continued to be the favorite amusement
of the Roman people. Constantino prohibited
without suppressing them. Ilonorius did the
same. JO no day, as the populace were assem
bled to witness the deadiy strife, Telemachus
rushed into the arena and separated the com
batants. The spectators, unwilling to bo dis
appointed, in their thirst for blood took the
life of this good man. But this was the last
of such scenes, and the end of gladiatorial
shows vithin its walls.
THE FARMERS' HIGH SCHOOL-
The following extract from the "Memorial
x the Committee of tho Board of Trustees,"
will give the rosier a clear understanding of
the objects, &c.', of the Farmers High School
of Pennsylvania :
The objects of the Farmers' High School of
Pennsylvania are so important, and seem to
commend themselves so directly to public fa
vor, that the trustees come to the Legislature
with perfect confidence that the people's rep
resentatives will arT'rd the aid required to
place tho institution li actual operation. Oth
er and younger .Sta Jfcs have made appropria
tions to similar objects. Why should Penn
sylvania, with her vast agricultural resources,
developed and undeveloped, remain inactive 7
This institution proposes by uniting the ac
quisition of knowledge With daily toil, to im
part interest to the one, and add dignify to the
other. It proposes to remedy an evil which
exists at every literary institution in the com
monwealth. That evil is tho low ;repute in
which manual labor is held by the student.
We have had, it Is true,' farms connected with
some of our colleges, upon which thoso of the
students who chose might lessen the expenses
of acquiring their education by manual labor.
These who wrought upon the farm were, by
those who did not labor, esteemed poor j and
like the poor man's children, educated at pub
lic expense under the act of Ajrif 4, 1803,
they became a distinct class, cut of! from the
society of those who, by the very distinction
tlus created, were led to believe their parents
rich. It is thus that manual labor is degra
ding in tho eyes of tho youth of our colleges
to such an extent that, iu niflo-jnstancesjyut of
ten, they are graduated with an uttar distaste
and abhorrence for tho pursuits and occupa
tions of their futhers, whether in the field or
the shop. The association of manual labor
with slavery, which is but an extension of this
same prejudice, rests like an incubus upon the
sunny lands and fertile fields of the South.
There thousands of families enduro poverty
and want rather than degrade themselves by
manual labor.: Our present common school
laws placing tho children of tho poor and tho
ricli upon one common platform, it is esteem
ed honorable in all to acquire knowledgo at
the public expense.
The Farmers' High School proposes to re
quire such amount of manual labor as shall bo
found beneficial and proper, of every student,
as ono of the conditions of his admission to,
and of his continuance in the institution. The
ambition of students, thus placed upon a per
fect equality, with no standard but adruce
nient in learning, and skill in labor, to' elevate
or degrade them, will soon bring into active
exercise energies of mind and of body, which,
but for this incentive to industry, might have
lain dormant. . .'
The profits arising from the labor of the stu
dents are to go into the treasury of the insti
tution, to lessen tho,expenses of thoir educa
tion. It has been estimated that after tho in
stitution shall have been put in operation, with
suitable buildings, four hundred acres of uch
land as that which has been secured and freo
from debt, the necessary expenses of the &tu
dent, including boarding, washing and tuition,
will not exceed seventy-five dollars porannu?V
It is not proposed to teach the dead langua
ges. It deemed by any essential to a good ed
ucation, they should bo acquired prior to the
age at which pupils can be admitted into the
institution. ''
With this exception it is proposed to afford
the student, in a four years' course, as com
plete and thorough an educati on as can be ac
quired at our best literary institutions an ed
ucation which, though not less scientific, shall
be rendered more practical by tho daily oper
ations and illustrations in tho field and the
shop.
Oue great and leading object of the. institu
tion is lo lessen, by manual labor, the expenses
so Jt to brin the acquisition of a scientific ed
ucation within the reach' of 4he farming com
munity. How many farmers can afford, out of
the net profits of the farms, to give their sous
& collegiate education at an expense of not less
than three hundred dollars a year 7 -How fow
could not aflord it at an expense of seventy
five dollars 7 At this rate, each soil could re
ceive an education, returning at the expiration
of the course to supply upon his father's farm
the place of the younger brother, whoso turu
had como to enjoy the advantages of tho insti
istitution. How soon would the son, thus re
stored to the farm he had left but a few years
before, work an entire change upon the yard
the garden the orchard tho field 7 How
much would be done during hours which in
former years had been spent in idleness, to
ornament and beautify ?
As an experimental farm ..this institution will
greatly benefit the agricultural community.
Experiments iu the introduction of new
seeds, grains, roots, modes of culture, farming
implemets, &c, are generally too troublesome
and expensire to be often tried or fully tested
by the individual farmer. At this school, how
ever, which will be iu correspondence with ag
ricultural institutions in every part of the civ
ilized world, experiments can be made with
great facility and certainty, and at a compara
tive trifling cost, and the results bo made
known to all the citizens of tl.e Common
wealth without charge.
The cautious farmer will await the result of
experiments and tests constantly going on at
the institution, and introduce upon his farm
only tuch seeds, grains, plants and roots, and
such modes of cultivation as experience has
shown to bo adapted to his soil aud ciin:atc,
and such. Machines and implements of hus
bandry as have stood the tost of actual trial.
Situate, as tho institution will be, iu tho ge
ographical centre of the State, within about
twenty miles of Spruce Creek Station on the
Pennsylvania Railroad, and within eight or ten
miles of the Lock Haven and Tyrone Railroad,
which will probably be completed by the time
students can be admitted, it will bo readily ac
cessible to all the citizens of the State.
The Farmers' High School of Pennsylvania
is emphatically a State institution. The Gov
ernor and Secretary of tho Commonwealth,
and the President of the Penu'a State Agri
cultural Society, ara cx-officio members of the
Board of Trustees. Three of the nine remain
ing members of the board arc to be elccfed
annually by tho Executive Committee of the
Penn'a. State Agricultural Society, and thnc
representatives from each county agricultural
society in the Commonwealth. The advanta
ges of the institution will therefore, be secu
red equally to the citirens of every county in
the State.
Notes ox the Mississirn. Tho story is fa
miliar of the man who took passage i: a fiat
boat from Pittsburg bound for New Orleans.
Ho passed many dreary, listless days on his
way down tho Ohio and Mississippi, and seem
ed to bo desponding for want of excitement
Superficially, he was quiet and inoffensive ;
practically, he was perfectly good nalured and
iindlv disposed. In course of time, the craft
upon which ho was"a passenger put into Napo
lean, iuthe State of Arkansas, for groceries."
At the moment there was a general fight ex
tending all along the "front of the town,"
which at that time coesisted of a single house.
The unhappy passenger, after fidgeting about,
and jerking his feet up and down, as if ha were
walking on hot bricks, turned to a used up
spectator and observed ; .
"Stranger, is thia a free fight 7"
. The reply was prompt and to the point :
"It ar, and if you wish to go in, doa't stand
on ccrimony."
The wayfarer did "go in" and in less time
than wc can relate the circumstance he was
Utterly chawed up. Groping his way down to
the fiat, his hair gone, his eyes closed, his lips
swollen, and his face generally "mapped out,"
he sat himself down on a chicken coop and
tsoliIoquized thus :
"-ov una a-j.iv-iu-o1, it ii i tjiiij mj
word it's a livoly place, and the only on3 at
which I have had any fun since I left heme."
Thiscstwo iivndbed teaks iiekce. Scene
Parlor in tho house of an elderly gtnt. !n
New York. Old gent, telegraphs lo tho kit
chen, and waiter ascends in balloon.
Old Gent. John, fiy over to South Ameri
ca, and tell Mr. Johnson that I will be happy to
have him sup with me. Never mind your coat ;
now go.
John leaves, and at the end of five minutes
returns.
John. Mr. Johnson says he will come; he
lias got to go to the North Tole, for a moment,
and the.n he will bo here. "
Old Gent. Very well, John. ' Now start the
machine for setting the table, and telegraph to
my wife's room, and tell her that Mr. Johnson
is coming ; then brush up my balloon, for I
have an engagement ia London at. 12 o'clock.
John flies off to execute lua" orders, and the
old gentleman runs over to the West Indies for
a moment, to get a fresh orange. . .
" TuxaE Is'a man in Winchester, Mass., who
has lived on corn broad so Ion? that his Lair
has turned silk, like that which grows on the
grain and his toes are so full of corns that he
expects to see them coverad with, 'tusks nest
rear.. " :" ' 1 - - . .
A DEAF AUNT AND A DEAF WIFE.
I had an aunt coming to visit me for the
first time since my marriage, and I don't
know what evil genius prompted the wicked
ness which I perpetrated towards my wife and
my ancient relative.
My dear," said I to my wife, on the day
before my aunt's arrival, "you know Aunt Ma
ry is coming to-morrow; well, I forgot to
mention a rather annoying circumstance with
regard to her. She's very deaf; and altho
the can hear my voice, to which she is accus
tomed in its ordinary tones, yet you will bo
obliged to speak extremely loud in order to bo
heard. It will be rather, inconvenient, but I
know you will do anything iu your power to
make her stay agreeable." . . .
Mrs. S. announced her determination to
make herself heard, if possible. I then went
to John T , who loves a juke about as well
as any person I know of, and told him to beat
the house nt six P. M. on the lollowing even
ing, and felt comparatively happy.
I went to the railroad depot with a carriage
next night, and when I was on 'my way home
with my aunt, I said:
"Dear aunt, there is one rather annoying in
firmity that Anna (his wife) has, which I for
got to mention. She's very deaf, and altho'
she can hear fcy voice, to which sho is accus
tomed, in its ordinary tones, yet you will be
oblige ! to speak extremely loud in order to bo
heard. I am very sorry for it. ' ' : .
Aunt Mary, in the goodness tf her heart,
protested that she rather liked speaking loud,
and to do so would afford her great pleasure.
The carriage drove up ; on the steps was my
wife, iu the window was John T , with a.
face as utterly solemn as if he had buried U
his relatives that afternoon. r - -
I ban led out my aunt; -she ascended "the
stops. "I am delighted to see you,J' sbri-'-tcd
my wife, and the policeman on She orrslfo
side-walk started, and my aunt nearly f-.!! ciewr.
the fcteps. - i
'Kiss me, my dear," howlei my aunt, ar.i
the hall lamp clattered and the Windows 6hook
as with the fever and ague. I looked at the
window. John had disappeared. Human na
ture could stand it no longer, I poked my head
into the carriage, and went !to strong convul
sion. . ......
When I entered the pailor, my wife was help
ing Aunt Mary to take off her hat and cape ;
and there sat John with his sober face. "
- Suddenly, "Did you have a pleasant jour
ney 7" went off my wife like a pistol, and John
nearly jumped to his feet.
Rather dusty," was the response, In a war
whoop, and so the conversation continued.
Tho neighbors for blocks around must of
heard it. When I was In the third story or tha
building I heard every word.
In the couise of the evening my nunt took
occasion to f iy to me
"ITo- loud your wife speaks. Don't it hurt
her 1" ' '" ; ;
I told her ail deaf persons talked loudly, and
that my wife, being used to if, was not affected
by the exertion, and that Aunt Mary was get
ting along very nicely with her;
Presently ruv wife said, softlv
, - .-
"Alf, how very loudly your aunt talks."
"Yes," said I, "all deaf persons do."
"You're getting along with her finely; she
ECTTfs every word you fay." ' '.'.
And I rather think she did. '- .
Elated at their success n heing understood,
they went at it hammcrand tongs till everything
on the mantel-piece clattered again, and I was
setiously afraid of a crowd collecting ia front
of the house. But the cud was hear. "
My aunt being, of an investigating torn of
mind, was desirous of finding out whether the
exertion of talking so loud was not injurious to
my wife. So !.
"Doesn't talking so loud slra'n year lungs ?.
said f-he, in an unearthly whoop, for her voice
was not quifo as musical as it was when Bho
was young. , '.
-It is an exertion," shrieked my wife.
"Then why do you do it ?" was the answer
ing scream. .
"Because because you can't Lear if I
don't," pquealcd toy wifa. . . -..
"What 7" said my aunt, fairly rivaling a rail
road whistle this tine.
i began to think it time to evacuate the
premises, and looking round and seeing John
gone, I stepped into the back parlor and there
he lay, fiat on 'his back, with his- feet at right
angles to his body, rolling from side to side,
with his face poked into his ribs and a mott
agonizing expression of countenance, but not
utkring a sound. X immediately and invol
untarily assumed a similar attitude, and I think,
that, from tha relative position of our feet and
heads, and our attempts to restrain our laugh
ter, apoplexy must inevitably have ensued, if
a horrible groan, which Jo'an gave veut io'hia
endeavor to suppress hi. risibility, had not be
trayed our hiding plare. . -
In rushed my wi'j anj aunt, who, by this
time comprehend the joke, aud such a ecotd
ing as I then g-,t I never bad before, and.I
hoje never to . get aiin." .. -
1 know nou what the end might have been if
John, in endeavors to appear respectful
and synr pathetic;' had not given way to such a
groaa an!j a horse laugh that all gravity was
ups'jt, and we screamed out in concert.
1 know it was very wrong and alt that, to
tell such .falsehoods, but I think Mrs. Opi
herself would have laughed if the fcal sea
Aun Yliry's expression when h' was inforia-f
' rt that her hearing was defective. -'2 ir.t
1
ii