1 l . T
--opulur long: r :
KANCT TILL. ' -
Down by de cane break,
Close by de mill, - . ,
Dare I met a yaller gal, .. . , :
And her namo was Nancy Till ; - - '.
She knbwed dat I loved her, ' ' .t :
She knowed it'borry long, ', ,'
I'm going to serenade her, . :'"
- And dis shall be de son 1 "''
. . . " ....-:
Oh, come Iub, coincide boat lays low,
She lies high and dry on de Ohic, ' i -Come
lore, come, won't you go along wid me
I'll take you down to Tennessee. .'-
I come from below.- ; ',', .'V,
Will you go lub wid me, -I
will row de boat,- ' .'.- ' - - -
While de boat rows mo ; : ' ''
And 1'ja waiting for you now,
You will not refuse to go.
And listen to de harmony - ' : -'-
j . Ob do bio ban jo.,. . -,
r ., .V ,0h, eoiae, lab, Ac.-; -,
Open da window, lab,
rory our love so true,
An listen: to do music,
'. Ho 13 playing foS you
lake de soft tnmmer notes,- j.-
So sweet and so low, -' 5
Aa dey flow from de strings
Ob de ole baDjo,.. . -
; - " . i . Oh, come, Ac.
i
' A FASHIONABLE WALTZ r
: . :. , Ai Described, by Ben. Jonsing :
Nothing is more common when a country
gentleman of any distinction visits a city, than
for his merchant to extend to him the usual
courtesy of "showing turnaround." Hence du
ring his visit he is lionized and taken to all the
places of public amusement," that he may see
the town and the manncrs and customs of society.-
i. Colonel Jonsing was similarly feted du
ring a late visit to a Southern Cit, where a
mong other places, he visited, with his mer
chant, a soiree, which he described in a letter
tto his friend, the editor of the Southern Star;
and as the Colonel's description of a Waltz and
"Sorry," was altogether so original and unique,
bis friend gave it to the public. Here it is :
When we got. into the place, we found a
gTeat large room, as big asv-a meetin' house,
lighted up with sruashin' lamps, covered all over
with glass hangings. The ladies looked as nice
as little angels, their faces as white as if they
dipped them in a flour barrel ; such red cheeks
I haint seen in all Sleepy Hollow; their arms
all covered with gold bands, chains, and shiny
beads; such lipsyou never did sec they looked
come-kiss-me-all-over,-- their eyes looked
like diamonds ; their waists drawn to the size
of a pipe stem-jand made to look like they
were undergoing a regular cuttin'-in-two op
eration by tyin a string tight round 'em ; and
the bosims oh, lordy ! alL covered' up with
laces and muslin' they rase, then fell, then rose
again, like hoi I don't know what was like,
exceptin' the brcathm of a snowy white goose,
chucked in a tight bag with its breast'out! -r.
L And the gals and younsters had walked round
and round for a considerable spell, the music
struck up;and such music? there was a big horn
and a little horn j a big flute and a little flute,
a big fiddle and alittle fiddle, and such a squea-
kin', squallin!, bellowin', groanin',1 never
beard before it was like all the rats, pigs and
frogs in christenduiu had concluded o sing to
gether. ' They called it a German' Poker. '
'spose it was made by some of them Cincinnati
Germans, in imitation of the sqneallin' at a
pork packery, and I guess it was a pretty good
imitation. ' - '
. So soou as the music struck up, such a sight
The fellers caught the gals right around the
waist with one hand, and pulled them right
smack up in kissen order with the gals' bosoms
agin their bosoms, and the gals'chin restin' on
the fellers shoulders. At this the gills began
to sorter jump and caper, like they were agoin'
to push 'em away; but the fellers just caught
hold of the other hand, and held it off, and be
gan to jump and caper, too, just like the gals.
... I swou upon a stack of bibles yomievcr seed
such a sight! There was some two dozen gals
held right in the arms of them fellers they a
rarin' and jumpen' anil pushen' 'em backwards
over the room, (as. I thought tryin"" toget away
from them,) and the fellers holdin' on to 'em,
tighter ; the more the gals jumped and capered,
. the tighter they squeezed the gals, till at last
I began to think the thing was bein carried to
too far for fun. I was. a little green in these
matters, and sein' the gals a tryin' harde and
harder to get away, as I thought, and the fel
lers holdin' tighter, it was very natural I should
take the part of the girls. So my dander kept
risin' higher and higher, till I thought my biler
would bust unless I fet out steam !"i pbnnced
smack into the middle of the room. "Thunder
and lightning! every body come here with shot
guns, six-shooters and blitchef knives!" I
bawled the top of my voice ; " for I will be shot
if any dad blasted,long-bearded feller shall im
pose on gala that arwhere I am !" and I-was
going to pitch right into ' em promiscuously,
when my merchant caught me by the arm, and
Mid, "stop Ben." "I'll be cussed," says I,"
if I will see the wimmin' folks imposed onj
Look what them fellers are doin' and how
hard the gals are rarin' and pitchin' to get away
from' 'em! Do you s'pose I can stand still as a
little post and see gals so? Look,',' says, I,
there's a gal almost broken down,and ready to
give up to that 'rangotang of a fellerj ; Yonder
is another so faint her head has fallen on the bo
som of the monster!" I tell you I was ashy,I
felt like I could jump into 'em likc'a cata
mount into a pig-pen. ' , i i
When I looked in my merchant's face I
thought he would have bujjsted. He laffc .and
laft, and sqnatted down and laft. -
"Why, " says he, "Ben, that is nothing but
the red war waltz they are dancin'"and them
gals aint tryin to get away from the fellers
they'are only caperin' to make the fellers hold
-"em tighter; tase they like it. The more the
.-ikrancr the ti-rhterthev wish tobe squeezed.
As to layin' their heads on the fellers' bosoms
that's very common in this city. They expect
to be married ' some of these days, and they
want to be accustomed to it, so they wont be
a blushin' and turuin' pale when the parson
tells the groom to salute the bride. There is
nothin' like bein' used to such things." -
"You may take my hat,"said I to my mer
chant; " I was tuck in that time. I tell you
though is was the first time I ever seed the like
before. I have seen the Indian hug and the
Congo dance, but I tell you this red war waltz
knocks the crown out of everything I ever seed.
After I had got out of the way and every thing
commenced goin' on again, the music got fas
ter and faster. Oh it was as fast and furious
as a norwester The galls rared again, the
fellers huged tighter, and the music-makers
puffed out a blown'. Then the galls and fellers
spun round like so many tops run mad. .,The
fellers leaned back and the gals leaned to 'em ;
the gals' frocks saLed out and popped in the
air like sheets on a ciothsline of a windy day,
and.the fellers coat-tails stood out so strait that
an egg would not have rolled off ; their faces
were as fixed and ierious a.z a garment. A
rOTiad. they went it makes .! me so dizzy to
think of it. Pop,vrent the coat-tails,-crash
went the music, and-pitty patty, rump dumple
de dump went the feet of all. . By and by, as
beautiful a craft as ever you seed in the shape
of a woman, laying close upon a long bean
pole lookin feller, came salln' at the rate of
flfteen knots an hour down ourw'ay, whilst a
fair, dumpy woman and a humpshouldered
beef-eaten sort of a feller, at the same speed
went up the other. I seed there was to be
some bumpin and naturally trembled for the
consequences. Sure enough, cawhallop, they
came together, arid slap-dash the whole on 'em
fell flat in the middle of the floor, carryin' along
with them every body standin' near.
. Such mixin' up of things as then took place
haint occurred before or since old father Noah
unloded his great "Ark. There was legs and
arms, with kids and prunellas, patteht leather
and satin gaiters, shoe strings and garters.
neck ribbons and guard chains, fals curls and
whiskers, woman's bustles and pocket hand
kerchiefs, all in a pile, the gals klckin' and
squalin', and the Tellers a gruntin', and apoli-
gison'. , - ;
" Oh, lordy !" says I for I was considerably
frustrated at this sight " stop that music,
blow out the lights), or alliiands shut their eyse
till these wimmin folks get unmixed." . At this,
such a laugh you never heard.
"Why, Col Jonsing," says my merchant, (C
that is nothing, it frequently happens, and is
one of the advantages of the red war waltz.
Llf the gals aint learned how to mix with the
world, how can they ever get along ?"
" I would rather have 'em all a little mixed,"
says I, "but that is too much of a good thing.
However, let us leave, for I seed enough of the
Sorry in that pile just now to satisfy me fora
week ;" and at that we bid 'em good night and
left, promising to go to. the next one arid take
a few lessons in the coniraoii Poker and - Shou
tish dance. How I came out, may be I may tell
you in another letter.
Your friend, - Ben Jonsing,
: ' " Of Sleepy Hollow
A Lumberman Sold.
A little scene occurs to me, that though oc
curring long years ago, comes up, I don't know
exactly how, all at once just as I want it. ",
In 18-334 I was learning the f-'art and mys-
terv" of ; print in r, andr occasionally in the
spring and fall, taking atrip down the Susque
hanna on a raft. We had in those days a tes
ty, tolerably rich, and infernally mean lumber
merchant, named (for this purpose) Thomas.
Old Thomas was the most inquisitive curmudg
eon ever allowed to walk on top-of the ground.
He was bound to know what was going on eve
rvwh ere public or private. No one's dwell
ing was safe from his Paul Pryish intrusion,
and of course he" was universally detested, tho'
his money commanded a certain degree of re
spect. He knew all this and made himself
the more disagreeable on account of it as he
said, in jolly revenge; though what he meant
by "jolly" I don't know, for I never saw hiur
have an honest laugh. ; . , , "
.. But the old fellow's impertinence aiid curios
ity was sometimes well punished. . -
During the spring of 1833 there were two
very high freshets, and a large amount of lum
ber arks, staves,&c. were lost by'tlie sudden
rising of the water. It happened that jiist at
this time old Thomas had three arks loaded
with shingles, waiting a rise of water. One
Fred P '. a very quiet young gent, (when
his. mother was by,) happened to know that T.
had three shingle arks, and meeting, the old
codger in a barber shop, was soon in convcrsa
.tiou the flood being the all-prevailing topic,
of course, as both were concerned in the river
trade. , -
"Great destruction below, I hear," said
Fred to-j-nobody. ; , - - ; - hl .
."Eh, what?" gasped old Thomas V -V- '
"Ten or twelve rafts and three arks smashed
on the head of Big Island.,' :
"Good God!, Thred arks did you say!";
"Run on about 3 o'clock this morning two
men known to be lost ,r- - r '' V ! ; '
"But the arks, Fred what was.in the arks2"
"Four of the rafts got off pretty well, but the
rest are all dead stuck as for ' the arks' they
sunk at once." v
. But whose arks were they?", gasped' old T.
by this time half frantic for he knew nobody
else had arks up in that region but him. V-
"As I told you before," said Fred, with
great gravity, "there were known to be two
men on board one of the arks, and they are
undoubtedly lost." .... :
By this timeold Thomas was perfectly wild.
"Fred," cried he, "for God's sake tell me, if
you know, what those arks were ioadea witli."
"Certainly;" said Fred, as-cool as a cucum
ber. ": - . . . J . : .
"What what was it?" cnea I nomas, jump
ing from .his chair.
"What were they loaded with?" .
" Yes d n it, yes." -": ' ' J
"Well, sir, they were haded with post holes!"
; ' r An Intelligent Proceeding.
ConoxEK.. "Did you know the defunct ?"
! Witness. "Who's he ?" "" ,. ;
. . Cor. "Why, the dead man."
'- Wit. "Yes." - r
J Cor. "Intimately?" '
. , WiT..'.'Werry."; ' ...
! Cor. "How often have you been in compa
ny with him?" - -
Wir "Only once." '."'. .
Cor. "Do you call that intimately V
Wrr. "Yes; for he were drunk, and .were
werry drunk, and that made us like two broth-
ers." ... ,. " ' .. ' " ,.;V
; ; Cor. "Who recognized the body ?"
. Wrr.. "Jack Adams."-
Cor. "How did he recognize him ?"
..Wrr. "By standing on his body, to let the
water run out ?'? :
Cor. 'l mean how did he knoxa him ?"
Wit. "By his plush jacket." :
Cor. 'Any thing else ?'
" ; Wn,,.'Xo ; his face was so swelled his moth
er wouldn't ha' know' d him.' ;-'
Con. 'Then how did did yw" know him?'
Wit. ''Cause I'warn't his mother'.' (Jp
jfldM.se in the Covrt.) s
Cos. 'What do vou consider the cause of his
death? ."" ; . ' '"
Wit. grou nding, in course.'
Cor. 'Was any attempt made to resuscitate
him?' '
. Wit. 'Yes.' . ' ' . .; ' ;
Cor. 'How?'
- Wrr fAVe s arched his pockets 1'. , v '
. Cor. 'I mean, did you try to bring him to ?'
Wit. 'Yes ; to the public house.'
Cor, 'I mean, to recover him ?' . , . . .
; Wit. 'No we weren't told to.' '
Con. 'Did you ever suspect the deceased of
mental alienation.?!; , '
Wit. 'Yes, the whole village suspected him.'
Cor. 'Why?'
Wit. ' -'Causeheailinatedioneof the Squire's
pigs.' . .
Cor. 'You misunderstand me. I allude to
mental aberration.' - .
Wit. 'Some think he was ." . ..
Cor. 'On what groM?.t ?'
Wit. 'I believe they belonged the Squire
Waters!' J '
Cor. 'P.'shaw, ! I mean, was he mad?'
Wit. 'Sartenly he were','
Cor. 'What! devoid of reason?'
Wrr. 'Oh, he had no reason to drown himself,
as 7 knows of.' - . ...
Cor. -'That willdo, sir. To the Jury): Gen
tlemen, you have heard the evidence, and "will
consideryour verdict.'
Foeem-ix. . 'Your, worship, we are all of one
mind.' - -
- Cor'.; 'Well, what wit?' . -
Forkjiax. ' We don't mind what; we'reagree
able to any thingyour worship pleases.'
Cor. 'No, gentlemen: I have no right to dic-
tate you had better consult together. ' '
Forkmax. 'We have, your worship, afore we
came, and we ore all unanimous.' -
Con. 'I am happy to hear it, gentlemen.
To the Clerk): Mr. Clerk, take down the ver-
dict. Now then, gentlemen.'
Foreman. Why then, your worship, it's eJn s
tiibale Suicide; but begs to recommend to mer
cy, and hopes we shall be allowed bur expenses!'
Lest this scene should bo thought to be exag
gerated, the journalist affirms its truth to the
letter, in every particular. . ...
Governor and Scarecrow.
Gov D. of nomatter what State was
plain, farmer-like man; in fact, aside from his
political office, his profession was that of a far
mer. He had an orchard behind his house to
which he paid a great deal of attention. -
In personal appearance the Governor was
not ver3' prepossessing. He was tall and guunt
and when about his work, was generally in the
habit of wearing a faded dressing gown which
was of exceeding length, coming nearly to his
feet.
It chanced one day that a gentleman fashion
ably dressed, called at the governor's residence
and inquired for him. He. was in quest of a
certain office which lav in the Governor's
gift. - : ;
"He is not at home iust at present," said
Mrs. D., "but if you. will come in and take a
seat, no doubt he will be along soou." ! .
The visitor accepted the invitation, and seat
ed himself in the plain' sitling room, entered
into conversation with the Governor's lady.
"I 'believe," said he, "that this is consider
ed a fine asricultural place. Does your hus
band own much land?" ..' . , . .
"Some thirty acres. He is quitoji farmer."
"I caught a glimpse of an orchard just be
hind the house. That I suppose belongs to
him?" .. . .! -
"Yes He prides himself on his orchard."
"I see you find it necessary to use scare
crows to frighten away the birds."
: "Scarecrows?" The governor's lady was
astonished. "No," said she, "we never em
ploy any."
"Why, I am quite sure I saw one in one of
the trees, rigged up in a long, fluttering robe."
"I don't think Mr. D. has put any one into
the orchard. You can look from this window
and perhaps you can see. the object which yon
mistook."
"There it is now," was the reply as he poin
ted out a figure, standing on a limb of one of
the trees dressed in a pair of overalls, with a
faded robe fluttering in the breeze, "that's ' the
scarecrow! I was sure I was not mistaken!"
"That a scarecrow!" said Mrs. D., in amaze
ment, "why, that's my husband!"
, The victim of this embarrasing mistake had
just enough voice to inquire for his hat, upon
which he "immediately withdrew, thinking ,it
best to defer his application for office to a more
convenient season. , ' .
QP""Oh dear Doctor ; my back is so lame I
can neither set nor lay !" '
"Then, Madam, I should suggest the propri
ety of roosting !" - ' ,
C2r" Courting a second wife is said; to be
; moving for a new trial."
A peep through, oar Grandmother's Spectacles.
; It is pleasant and ever profitable in these
days, when our sands of life are running with
railroad speed," and we are' surrounded by the
improvement of these latter days our rooms
w:armedby hot air, and lighted by gas the
news brought us from every part of the country
in a few minutes, when even a fortnight seems
along time to wait for a steamer from Europe,
to look back and see the many circumstances
that have combined to form our character, to
trace through the ramification of families the
influence of this trait and that peculiarity in
forming the different . types of man, and from
thence, the causes, the changes and the condi
tion of the universe- Every life is as much a
world in the universe of God, as the earth we
inhabit, and every human event the thought or
act of human agency. As we used in play to
put on our grandmother's spectacles to see
what more we could see than we did see, so now
it is well to bring back those days, and we find
it as difficult to bring back their simplicity of
thought as it is to look forward and compre
hend when we shall know no " time, nor space,
nor distance, when the secrets of all hearts
shall be disclosed.' Our memory brings to us
a pleasant little roon?, warmed by a bright wood
fire on a hearth, and lit by a tallow candle no
star or sperm, but a truly tallow one, home
made. On one side of the hearth sat a fair
plump, kind looking old lady, with a muslin
cap and kerchief of spotless white laid , over
her bosom the style not uncommon in
these days ; the dress, which was finish
ed with a drawing string, was straight across
the front, and full, which gave a roundness to
the form, added to , the ; small sleeves, , narrow
back and short waist, made my perfect figure
of a woman of seventy. She was our grand
mother, living . with us (lonely indeed seemed
that home that had no grandmother) in the
then distant ' West, not more than ten days'
journey from the city of New York which
now can be travelled in twice the number of
hours. There were no railroads then, and our
learned ministers had not found out they were
even prophesied of no' stages, except on the
road from 'Albany, west somewhere; I know
not what conveyence from Albany to a lake;
then a boat, with setting poles and men to keep
it off the rocks, floated, or pitched, according
to the rifts , or smooth deep places it passed
over, until it came to its landing, in sight of
the deep blue waters of Ontario. In tLis so
questered spot lives manytt tender recollection
of childhood, wafted there by many a wander-
ei in distant climes. . . .
One cold winter evening a knot of vil
lage worthies were convened around the stove
of a country store, in a Western town, warm
ing their fingers by the stove-pipe, and telling
stories and cracking jokes. The schoolmaster,
the blacksmith, and the barber, and thecon-i
stable, and the storekeeper, and the clerk, all
were there.; ; ... ; -.,"-. ; .
- Alter they had drank cider and smoked ci
gars to their hearts' content, and when all the
current topics of the day had been exhausted,
the schoolmaster proposed a new kind of game
to relieve the monotony of the evening. Each
one was to propound a puzzle to his neighbors;
and whoever should ask a quest ioV that he
himself could not solve, was to pay the cider
reckoning for, the entire part'. -
The idea took at once ; and the schoolmaster,'
'by vh-fue of his office. called on Dick D
whom most folks thought a fool, and a few a
knave, to put the first question. '
Wal, neighbors,' sa:l Dick, drawling out his
words, and looking ineffably dull and stupid,
'You've seen wherc'squirrels dig their holes,
haven't you ? Can any of you tell me the rea
son why they never throw out any dirt?'
This was a 'poser;' and even the 'master'
had to 'give it up.' ,
It now devolved on Dick to explain :
'The reason is,' said Dick, 'that they first be
gin at the bottom of the hole!' .
'Stop ! atop !' cried the schoolmaster, startled
out of all prudence by so monstrous an asser
tion: 'Pjy, how does the squirrel get there?'
'An, master,' replied the cunning fool, that's
a question of your own asking !'
' The result had not been anticipated. The
'schoolmaster was abroad' at that particular
juncture!
; " A Lawyer's Eetaining Fee.
A correspondent.Iets offthe following anec
dote of Mr. Biirchard, the revival preacher,
while he was at Lockport, N. Y. which is .ra
ther amusing. It Was Mr. B's custom to go
about the villages to enlist the wealthy and in
fluential to attend his preachtng, and give
eclat to his meetings. In the course of his
perambulations one day, he fell in with Bob
S-, an attorney of some reputation and very
famous for wit and readiness tt repartee:
"Good morning, Mr. S." said the revivalist,
"I understand that you are one of the leading
men of this town, and a lawyer of high stand
ing ; I have called upon you in hopes to en
gage you on the Lord's side.'.' "Thankyou,"
replied Bob, with an air of great sobriety, and
with tho most professional manner possible ;
"thank you I. should be most happy to be
employed on that side of the case if I could
do so consistently with my engagements, but
you must go to some other counsel, as I have
a standing retainer from the opposite party."
The itinerant was amazed, piqued, non-plusscd
and departed without further ceremony.
"Doctor,", said an old lady the other day to
her family physician, "kin you tell me how it
is that some folks is born dumb?"
"Why hem!, why certainly,. madam," repli
ed the doctor, "it i owing to the. fact that they
come into the world without the power of
speech !" :; . '.--. ; -
"La me !" remarked the old lady, ''now jtrst
see what it is to have a physic edication I've
axed my old man more nor a hundred times
that are same thing, and all I could ever get
out on him was 'kasc Ihey t'j." '
"Well I'm glad I axed you, for I never fcho'd
a died satisfied without kuowin' i."
. A Good Excuse.
There is a society in existence which, like
most other associations of the- kind, has a
standing rule that all members who come late
or absent themselves shall be fined a certain
sum, unless they are able to give a sufficient
excuse for tardiness or absence. On one oc
casion a member came in after hours, and the
chairman asked him his excuse, for being late.
"Really sir," said he, I was not able to get
here before. Domestic troubles perplexities
of mind I cannot say which will die first, my
wife or daughter!" v ! ..
: Ah!" said the chairman, expressing much
commisseration for the father and husband, I
was not aware of that. Remit the fine,"- Mr.
Secretary; the excuse is a good one!'
- The member consequently , took his seat.
The next morning another member met him,
and with much feeling asked him how Ins wife
and daughter were? . , . - ., . .
"In excellent health,'.' replied he. , .
- "How? I thought vdu said last night that
you did not know which would die first?"
" "I did; and am still in a quandary. Time,
however, will decide the questiou."
, Cotton is Kino. Charlos Dickens,. in late
number of his Household IVorJ,after enumera
ting the striking facts of Cotton, says: -
"Let any social or physial convulsion . visit
the United States, and England would feel the
shock from Land's End to JohnO' Grants.
The lives of nearly two million of our country
men are dependant upon the cotton crops of
America; their destiny may be said, witnout
any sort of hyperbole, to hang upon a thread.
"Should any dire calamity befall the land
of cotton, a thousand of our merchant ship
would rot in dock; 10,000 mills must stop
their busy looms, and two million mouths
would lack food to feed them."
' Wouldn't Btte. A witty clergyman had
been lecturing one evening in a country village
on the subject of temperance, and", as usual af
ter the lecture, the pledge was passed round
for signatures. . , h.
-Pass it along that way, saidthe lecturer,
pointing towards a gang of bloated and red
nosed loafers near the door. Pass it along
perhaps some of those gentleman would like to
join our cause.
We don't bite at a bare hook, grufil mut
tered one of the rummies.
- Well, replied the ready clergyman,! believe
there is a kind offish called suckersthat don't
bite. .'" . ,
A young lass who went to a camp meeting
and back, full of the revival which they had,
did nothing the following week or more but
sing; "Shout! Shout! we're gaining ground!"
She had the tune so pat, that all she said was
a continuation of that song,, and not unfre
quently the rhyme was too long for the tune.
Old Jowler slipped in and took a bone off the
table, and just as he was making for the door,
she sung out
"If you dou'tg(j;out I'll knock you down, ,
. - . Halle, liallelujar, . -
You nasty, stinkin', flop eared hound,
, V O, glory, hallelujar!'
. A Good Sej.l.- "Have you heard, Bill, that
there was a telegraph dispatch from New, York
to-night, that Sir John Franklin had been
found?" ' :
"No! Is it true?"
- "Certainly. Grinnel's ship found lrim."
"Where did they find him?"
"Above the channel of course." '
"What was he doing?'.'
"Leaning against the north-pole, and trying
to get up steam to thaw himself out."
We left before the fight began.
Ayounster, who had just risen to the dignity
of the first pair of boots with heels to them,
laid himself liable, through some xuisdemcan
or, to maternal chastisement. After pleading
to get clear, to no effect, he exclaimed, "Well,
if I've got to stand it, I mean to take off my
boots." "Why ?" asked his mother.. "Because
I wont be whipped, in them new boots, no
how. That's so."
E?"' What harm is there in a pipe?' says
young Puff wexl. , , -
'None that I know of,' replied his compan
ion ; 'except that smoking induces drinking;
drinking" induces intoxication; intoxication
induces the bile ; bile induces jaundice ; jaun
dice leads to the dropsy; dropsy terminates in
death. 'Put that in your pipe, and smoke it!' '
Dr?3 'Jones,' said a sj-mpathizing neighbor to
a friend, 'what in the world T"t matrimony in
to your head?' : :
'Well, the fact is, I was getting short of
shirts!" . - :
Extraordinary OcccRREXCE.An Eastern
paper, describing the effect of a thunder shower
says; A cow was struck by lightning and in
stantly killed, belonging to a village physician,
who had a beautiful calf four days old!"
0""pTanny Fern says, thank God thenspo-
ken prayer of penitence may wing its way to
tho eternal throne, though mocking chuich
spires poiut only with aristocratic fingers to the
rich mans' heaven. ;
IIP" By gar you call my wife a woman three
several times once more,'aud I yrill call the
watch house and" blow your dam brain out like
a candle py dam." " J ' '
"What's whiskey bringing?" inquired a dea
ler in that article.
"Bringing men to the gallows," was the re
ply, .v. " - ,: .
-. The eye of tho law is getting so dreadfully
weak, that it is about to advertise for an arti
cled pnpil. . ' .?
CP A rash and somewhat deluded young
man has threatened to apply the Maine law to
his swcOtheart, she intoxicates him so.
DT""I see through it," as the old lady said
when the bovtom of her wash-tub fell out- .
'
m III? U T?T ' tT in) Yr-svriinT) TnT. m .
RR. WELCH; Silversmith
and Jeweler, next door to
the Post Oflice, Clesrrfieldj Pa.
- Watches cleaned and repaired
and good watches warranted for the space of ono
yfttT. Jewelry, Accordcans and other musical in
struments repaired on the shortest notice, and most
reasonable terms. JJnne 15. , 1S51. ly
T TORSES AND BUGGIES FORI
1.X HIKE. JAMES CROWTHER
would inform his friends and the public
generally, that ho keeps for hire horses4
buggies, carriages.ic, ori" the most reasonable
terms, at bis Livery Stable in Curwensvillo.
Inquire at the Stage Olfice' Flemining's Hotel.
JAMES CROWTHKR.
June 15th. 1854.
M A. FRAXK, Fashionable Tailor,
"Shaw's Row," below tbt Mansion
House, will be happy to render his services
to all those wishing clothes made in the la
tost style, and most durable manner.
Clearfield, June 15. -
1
L . R. CARTER Doaler in stoves, bar-iron,
nails, and castings of all kinds. Also plows,
and other agricultural ntonsils. On Second Street,
under the Republican Office. Sune 15, '54-ly.
HARRIS, HALE 4 CO Wholesale Dnuomsrs,
No. 259, Markot Stroet, North side between
sixth and seventh. Philadelphia. Drugs, Medi
cines, Chemicals, Patent Medicines, Surgical In
struments. Drnggisfs Glassware, Window Glajs,
Paints, Oils, Dye, Perfumery, 4o., Ac.
. JOHN HARRIS, M. D.
J. SHARSWOOD,
JOHN M. HALE,
E. B. ORBISON. '
June 15, 1754-ly. - -
CHARLES WINGATE, Dealer in Bonnete,
Shoes, Boots, and Palm Leaf Hats, No- 18.
North Fourth Street, Philadelphia, Second Storo
below Commerce Street. . June 15, 1854 ly-
WILLIAM S. HANSELL A SON, Manufac
turers and Importers of Saddlery, and Sad
dlery Hardware, No. 23 Market Street, Bhiladel
phia. Saddles, Bridles, Harness, Trunks, Whips,
Saddle Bags, Bridle Filling, Bits, Stirrups, Buckles,
Carpet Bags, ect. June 15, '54-ly.
EIDLEMAN & HAY WARD Wholesale Gro
cers, Tea Dealers, and Commission Merchants,
No. 273, Market Street, Philadelphia.
D. BEIDELMAN,
A. HAYWARD.
June 15, 1354-1 y. ' ' '
HOOD 4 CO Extensive Dry-goods Dealers, No.
187, Market St., Philadelphia, keep constant
ly on hand a large, splendid, and cheap stock of
tho most fashionable and elegant goods. They in
vite country Merchants to call and examine their
splendid assortment, before purchasing elsewhere.
. June 15, 1854-ly.
CALEB COPE & CO, No. 1S3, Market St., Phila
delphia, Dealers in Linens, White Goods, Ho
siery, French, English and German Silk Goods, La
ces, Gloves, Bolting Cloths, 4c. June 15, '54-ly.
A T. LANE A CO. Wholesale Clothing Store.
No. 171. Market Street. Every variety of
ready made Clothing, in the most fashionable stylos,
constantly on hand. Juno 15, 541y.
IS AC M ASI1TON. Hat Store, No. 172
Market St., Philadelphia. Hats, Caps, Furs,
Ac. of every variety, and tho best quality always
on hand. June 15, 1854-ly.
CONRAD A WALTON. Hardware Store, No.
255 Market Street, Philadelphia. Hardware,
Iron, Nails, Ac, of every description. ...
June 15, 1854-ly.
-m vmtav. J WR A VFR A CO.. No. 19 North W.
Oi jjvt- - ' - -
f ter Street, Philadelphia, Dealers in Carpet
chain, Yarn, Manilla and Hemp Ropes, Bod-cords,
Clothes-lines, Ac, Ac June 15, 1854-ly.
BROOK. TYSON A REHN Wholesale Dry
Good's Store, No. 146, Market Street, Philadel
phia June 15, 1854-ly,
i1LARK HESSER, No. 18 South 4th Street.
Philadelphia, extensive dealers fn books ana
Stationary. - June 15, 1854-ly.
D
RY BEEF, of the best quality Just received
and for sale at W. F. Iewis's cnoap oior.
June 14, '54. ' .
TONE WARE, of every 'ctyjretarP1,?t
at the Store of " " "
Juno 14, '54. - - - -
100 Barrcls Fisb? for salc at W r 'iRvrfv'"
June 14, i "
I uwxijAUi J.VAVI-.lWUC.lIie Blood
' M. Red Banner floats in triumph on the "Old Cvr
jw Store," where A. M. Hills has just opened tie
cheapest and most splendid assortment of Good--ever
displayed before this community, and xiwt!j
adapted to their many and various necessities.
Every variety of Hats, Cops, Bonnets, Boots
Shoes, Cloths, Cassimeres, and all other kinds of
dry-goods, that are unapproachable by any other
similar articles, cither in beauty of style, quality,
or price. . r
Also an excellent assortment of Groceries, Iicni
ware, Stone and Queeiuware, with fancy articles
ad infinitum. - ---.- ,
Ha defies competition, and invites all persons to
give him a call at the "Old Corrur," which hu tru
ly become the 'Bazarr' of Clearfield.
Every attention will be shown to customers an J
visitors, and no pains will be spared to send all
smiling away, loaded with his beautiful and valua
ble goods, never surpassed in Clearfield.
j ; i A. M. HILL'".
Clearfield, June 15, 1854-ly. .
KW GOODS AT THE CASH STORE-TU
. . subscriber has just received a large and well
selected stock of GOODS of almost every descrip
tion suitable to the season, which he is selling off
at extremely low prioes. He respectfully invite
the attention of all who wish to buy good Goods at
the lowest prices, to call at the sign of the "CLckik
est Goods. , . .
Country produce of almost every description ta-"
ken at market prices in exchange for goods.
Persons wishing to purchase, and receive a fir
equivalent for thoir money, will do wH to giTe
him a oall.
Remember the sign of the CHEAPEST 300DS.
on Market street, and call and be conrincod that
thero is truth in tho words thereon inscribed.
June 13, 1734. WM. IV IRWIN'.
NEW riRM PATTON A SHOWERS would
inform the public that they have just opened
a new and Splendid assortment of Goods of every
variety, at the old stand of H. D. Pattoj at Cur
wcnaville. At their store may be found, almost
everything adapted to the wants and necessities of
tho people of this region.. Dress-goods, Lawns,
Laces, Gloves, Cloths, Cassimeres, Clothing. Hats,
Caps, Boots, Shoes, 4c, 4c, of the best quality and
at the lowest prices.
AI30 a splendid assortment of Hardware, Queena
wixe and Groceries.
They invite all persons to give thm a call, fol
ly assured they will be able to render entire satis
faction. Jf. D. PATTON,
JOSEPH SHOWERS.
Curwensville, Juno li, 1854-ly. .
r TAXSION HOUSE. The subscriber having ta
lf JL ken this old established stand, and entire'
refitted and refurnished it in such a manner as to
vie with any house in thq county, respectfully so
licits a liberal share of public patronage. Every
attention will be shown to persons stopping at the
Mansion House, and no pains will be spared to
make them "feel at home."
The bar is well furnished with the best liquors
and segars, and the table" will at all times b sup
plied with the bsat in the market.
He wonld respectfully invite the public to give
him a call. JOHN LIVIXGSTOJS.
Clearfield, Juno 15, lS5i.
EMPHILL'S HOTEL. The subscriber would
inform his friends and the public generally,
that he still remains at the old stand, where he is
at all times ready and willing to "entertain stran
gers and travellers." His bar stocked with the
best liquors, and hia table will always be supplied
with the luxuries of the market.
Thankful for past favors, ho solicits a further
share of public patronage.
WM. J. HEMPHILL.
. Clearfield, June 15, 1854-ly.
i
tiseiv
not arr0