Why the Rose I* Red. The roe®, ot old, they say. wae whit®. Till Love, iiw dav. in wanton flight, Flirting away from flower to flower, A rose tree brushed, in evil hour. The spreading leaves concealed a thorn By which the coy-god's foot waa torn. Hi# precious drops In plenteous flow Fell on a rose's breast below, And all her snow-white virgin undo In blushing pure carnation died To tell to future times unborn How tow was wounded by a mora. Robbing with pain and weeping dew, The wounded boy to Venus flew : But tew the ills which boy# endure A mother's kisses can not cure; And far strli pleaewre after pain Ia) re would bo often prickVl again 1 A Retrospect. I see it now An orchard set Deep in a garden, rank and gnvit It scarce were oMer now than then For all the seasons gone between, So vary hoar the hranehes spread, Bowed lowly t.i the dappled bed. Caught by the ivy, nothing loath. Tall purple orchis here and there Shot up it* spirals to the space. Where white upou the blue atmanae. Pale appto-lwossoms leaned their face. Or fluttered aiiftly to their rest, Scarce chowing which should l>e the heat, And pausing midway, fam for both. All interlaced that orchard lay. All rif# with gnvnwt tilings that grow, Tall ferns and mailed umt. rgnmnd. When' frnwi.llv mitw would cum and go - Here peep np curious from a tent Of hurdivk leaves, all dew-besprent. Or froiu a primrose alley-show , A pathway ran—l wo it now Around the wehtvd cast and west, That for rewpaaioua of Ms way WtHild eh ana® the flowei-s it loved the beat; So aoft, a footpath well might .suite With has ado than wild-bee's hum. And pass beneath the branches low. And so it Ml. I see her now. A lithesome figure in tho way. Just where the grandest meeting boughs Had meet assayed io hide the day ; Ttie week head bent upon the book, She peaceful conned with bolt look, As Galiriel some acroll of Odt. Bidding him hasten on his road. She, too, has such a tiding soon. I think ah® read it first thai hour ; Before bait waned a newer moon No lithesome figure In between Stood wrapped atxwi! with reniely green— She, too, was hidilen of the Lord. Rome thinker that has thought alond (I thank him. for the Uiought is kind.) Has reasoned that are held our hhss. That heaven itself is in the mind. I sometimes think my heaven may be A green place, with lis iwehard tree. And one sam t angel known to me. THE POET OF SIERRA FLAT. BY MOOT HJLBTF- A* the enterprising editor of the "Si cm Flftf ItoeordH stood at his caae set ting type for his next week's paper, he was startled by the sudden irruption of a small roll of manuseript, which was thrown through the open door and fell at his feet. An examination of the man uscript, however, sheared that it arms evi dently of human origin,—being verse,* and of exceeding bad quality. The ed * iter laid it aside. A few days after this the editorial se clusion was invaded by voices of alter nate expostulation and entreaty. Step ping to the door, the editor wis amazed at beholding Mr. Morgan McCorkle, a well-known citizen of Angelo, and a sul>- scriber to the "Record," in the act of ur ging, partly by force and partly by argu ment, at. awkward young man toward the bn fifing. When he had finally ef-, fected liii object, and, as it were, safely j landed his prize in a chair. Mr. Met'or tie took off h hat, carefully wiped the nar row isthmus of forehead which divided his black brows from his stubby hair, and. with an explanatory wave of hi* hand toward his reluctant companion, said, "A horned poet, and the cussed est fool yon ever seed P* Accepting the editor's amile as a recog nition of the introduction. Mn.MeCork!e jiautixl and went on : "Didn't want to come! 'Mister Editor don't want to see me. Marg.' se he. 'Milt.' sez I. 'hedo; a horned poet Hke you and a gifted ge nius like he onghter come together so ciable ! And I fetched him. Ah, will ver ?" The born poet had. after exhib iting signs ot great distress, started to run. But Mr. McCorkle was down upon him instantly, seizing him by his long linen cost and settled him back in his chair. "'Taint no use stampeding. Yer I ye are and yer ye stays. For yer a borned ye are as shy as a jack-, ass rabbit. Look at 'im now !" He certainly was not an attractive pic ture. There was hardly a notable fea ture in his weak face, except his eyes, which were moist and shy, and not un like the animal to which Mr. McCorkle had compared him. It was the face that the editor hail seen at the window. "Knowed him for fower year,— since he war a boy," continued Mr. McCorkle in a loud whisper. ' Allen* the same, bless yon ! Can jerk a rhyme as easy a* turain' jack. Never had any edification ; lived out m Missooray all his life. But he's chock full o* poetry. On'v this morn in' sez Ito him,—he camps along o" me, —'Milt P # sez L 'are breakfast ready Y and he up and answers back quite peart and chipper, Tlie breakfast it is ready, and the birds is singing free, and it's rutin' in thedawnin' light ishap- Snese to me !* When a man, " said Mr. cCorkle, dropping his voice with deep ' solemnity, "get# off things like them, without any call to do it, and handlin flapjacks over a cook-stove at the same time,—that man's a lwrned poet." There was an awkward pause. Mr. McCorkle beamed patronizingly on his prrifyfr. The born t>oet looked a# if he were meditating another flight,—not a metaphorical one. The eilitor askeil if he could do anything for them. "In course "von can," responded Mr. j k McCorkle, "that's -jest it Milt, where'*; r tliat poetry ?" ■ The editor's countenance fell as the poet produced from his pocket a roll of manuscript. Hp, however, took it me chanically and glanced over it. It wa evidently a duplicate of the former mys terious contribution. The editor then spoke briefly but ear nestly. I regret that 1 cannot recall his , exact words, but it appeared that never liefore, in the history of the "Record," had the pressure been so great upon its columns. Matters of paramount impor tance, deeply affecting tbe material pro gress of Sierra, questions touching tbe absolute integrity of Calaveras and Tuol umne as social communities, were even now waiting expression. Weeks, nay j months, must elapse before tliat pressure would be removed, and the "Record" could grapple with any but the sternest of topics. Again, the editor hail noticed with pain tbe absolntc decline of poetry in the foot-hills of the Sierras. Even the works of Bvrou and Moore attracted no attention in Dutch Flat, and a preju dice seemed to exist against Tennyson in Grass Valley. Bnt the editor was not without hope for .the future. In the course of four or five years, when the country was settled.— "What would be the cost to print this yer ?" interrupted Mr. McCorkle quietly. "About fifty dollars, as an advertise- < ment," responded the editor with cheer- j 1 ful alacrity. Mr. McCorkle placed the sum in the ] editor's hand. "Yer see thet's what I i sez to Milt, 'Milt,' sez I, 'pay as you go, 1 for you are a borned poet. Hevrin' no call to write, but doin' it free and spon- i taneous like, in course you pays. Thet's ] why Mister Editor never printed your j 1 poetry." i ft "What name sliall I put to it ?" asked 1 i the editor. W "Milton." It was the first word that tlie born poet 1 had spoken during the interview, and his ' voice was so very sweet and musical that ' the editor looked at him curiously, and wondered if he had a sister. "Milton ; is that all ?" ' Thet's his furst name," explained Mr. McCorkle. i The editor here suggested that as there had been another poet of that name— \ • 'Milt might be took for him ! Thet's i bad," reflected Mr. McCorkle with sim- i pie gravity. "Well, put down bis tail j I * name,—Milton Chubbuck." The editor made a note of tbe foot. "I'll set it up now," he said. This was 1 also a hint that the interview was ended, i ta The poet and patron, arm in firm drewfj towards the door. "In next week's pa- : l FRED. KURTZ, Editor and Proprietor. VOL. IV. jrer," said tho editor, smilingly, in answer to the childlike look of iiniuirw in the eve* of the and in another moment to\ were gone. Hie effect of the p,ein on Sierra Flat .was remarkable mul tuiiweydeuttd. The absolute vileness of its doggerel, the gratuitous hnlnvilitv of it* thought, and above all the emvuiu audaeitv of the feet that it *s the work of e oiti/en ami published in the county j|vr, brought tt instantly into jmpulurity. For many mouths t alaverus had languished for e sensation ; siuee the last vigilance ooiir mittee nothing had transpired to dispel the listless runm begotten of Htuguunt business ami grow ing civilisetitxu. The paper WHS in such demand tliet the edi tiou was spisslily exhausteil. In brief, the poem of Mr Milton Chubbuek eame like e special providence to Sierra Flat It was road by camp-fires, in louelv cab ins, in daring bar-rooms and noisy sa loons, and declaimed from the Imxoa of stage-couches. It was sung in Poker Flat with the addition of a local clients, and danced as an unhallowed rhythmic dance bv the Pyrrhic phalanx of One Horse Cralcli. known as "The Festive Stags of Calaveras." Some unhappy ambiguities of expression gave rise to many now readings, nob's and commen taries, which, I regret to state, were more often marked hv ingenuity than delicacy of thought or expreasiou. Never before did poet acquire such sudden hval reputation. From the se clusion of MeCorkle's cabin and the olv acuritT of culinary laliors, he was haled forth tuto the glowing sunshine of Fame. The name of Chnbbuck was written in letters of eluilk on uu)>aiuted walls, and carved with a pick ou the sides of tun nels. A driuk known variously as •' l'he C'hubbuek Tranquilli*er,"or "TlieChub. buck Kxalter," aus dispensed at the lvrs. ' For some wtx-ks a rude design for a Chubbuek statue, made up of illustra tions from circus and melodeon jaeters, representing the genius of Calaveras in bnef skirts ou a dying steed in the act of crowning the j>oet Chubbuek, was visible at Heeler's Ferry. The poet himself was . overborne with imitations to drink and extravagant congratulations. The mect m ing between Colonel StarlKittle of Sisky lon and Chubbuek. as previously ar ranged by our "Boston," late of Bearing Camp, is sard to have lnvu indescribably affecting. The Colonel embraced him unsteadily. "I could not return to my constituents at Siskylou, sir, if this hand which has grasped tliat of the gifted Prentice and the lamented Poe should not have been honored by the tonch of tho godlike Chubbuek. Gentlemen, -American literature is looking up. Thank yon, I will take sugar in mine." It WM "Boeton" who indited letters of congratulations from 11. W. Longfellow, Tennyson, and Browning to Mr. Chnb buck, deposited theru in the Sierra Flat post-oflb-e, and obligingly confuted to dictate the replies. The simple faith and unaffected delight with whien these manifestations were received by the poet and his patron alight have touched the hearts of these grim masters of irony, but for the sud den and equal development in both of the variety of weak natures. Mr. Me- Corkle basked in the popularity of his [•rutojr, and became alternately sujrercil lOUS or patronizing toward tljo dwellers of Sierra Flat ; while the poet with liair earefnlly oiled and curled, and bedecked with cheap jewelry and tlauuting neck haadkerehief, paraded himself Irefore the single hotel. As may In- imagined, tliis new disclosure of weakness affordixl in j tense satisfaction to Sierra Flat, gave an other lease of popularity to the poet, and .suggested another idea to tire facetious ; "Boston." • At that time a vonng lady popularly and professionally known as the "Cali fornia Pet" was performing to enthusias tic audiences in the interior. Her s|xv ! eialitv lay in the personation of youthful masculine character ; as a gamin of the street she was irresistible, as a negro dancer she carried the honest miner's heart by storm. A saucy, pretty bru nette, she had preserved a wonderful mond reputation even under the Jove like advances of showers of gold that greeted her appearance on the stage at Sierra Flat. A prominent and delighted meinlvr of that audience was Milton Chubbuek. He attended every night. Every day he lingered at the door of the Union Hotel for a glimpse of the "Cali fornia Pet." It was not long Irefore he I received a note from her, —in "Boston's" most popular and approved female hand. —acknowledging his admiration. It was not loup before "Boston" was called np :on to indite a suitable reply. At last, ; in fnrtheranee of his facetious design, it . lrecame necessary for "Boston" to call ; upon the young actress herself and ae i cure her personal participation. To her he unfolded a plat., the successful carry ing out of which he felt would secure his fame to posterity as a practical humor ist. The "California l'et't" blaek eyes j sparkled approvingly and mischievously. She only stipulated that she should ace j the man first,—a concession to b*r femi nine weakness which years of dancing Julia and wearing trousers and boots had not wholly eradicated from her willful breast By all means, it should be done, i Ami the interview was arranged for the i next week. It must not l>c supposed Hurt during this interval of popularity Mr. Chubbuek had been nnmiudful of his poetic quali ties. A certain portion of each day he was alrsent from town, —"a eommnniu' with natur'," as Mr. McCorkle expressed it, and actually wandering in the moun tain trails, or lying on his buck under ! the trees, or gathering fragrant herbs nnd the bright-colored lurries of the Marzanitu. These and his company he generally brought to the editor's office, ! late in the afternoon, often to that enter | prising journalist's infinite weariness, j Quiet and uncommunicative, ho would i sit there patiently watching him at his work until the hour for closing the office arrived, when he would as quietly de part. There was something so humble and unobtrusive hi these visits, tliat the editor could not find it in his heart to deny Ihem, and accepting them, like the woodjieckers, as a part of his sylvan sur roundings, often forgot even his pres ence. Once or twice, mo veil by some l>eauty of expression in the moist, shy eyes, he felt like seriously admonishing his visitor of his idle folly ; but his glance falling upon the oiled hair and the gor- Eous neck-tie. he invariably thonght tter of tf. The case was evidently hopeless. The interview between Mr. Chubbuek and the "California Pet" took place in a private room of the Union Hotel; pro priety lreing respected by-the presence of that arch-humorist, "Boston." To this gentleman we are indebted for the only true account of the meeting. How ever reticent Mr. Chubbuek might have lreen in the presence of his own sex, to ward the fairer portion of humanity he was, like most poets, exceedingly voluble. Accustomed as the "California Pet" had been to excessive compliment, sire was fairly embamssed by the extravagant praises of her visitor. Her personation of boy characters, ber dancing of the "Champion Jig," were particularly dwelt upon with fervid but unmistakable admi ration. At last, recovering her audacity and emboldened by the presence of "Bos ton," the "California Pet" electrified her hearers by demanding, half jestingly, half viciously, if it were as a lioy that she was the subject of his flattering admiration. "That knocked him onto' time," said the delighted "Boston," in his subse ... - . -- • " * • CENTRE HALL REPORTER. intent account of tho interview. "But do you believe tlif fool irttwllv wkinl her to take him with R*r ; wanted to Otlgagl' in the cou|v The |3iiu, iw briefly uufoliW by • • 11.v. ton," va. to prevail upon Mr. Chubburk to make liia appearance in costume (al ntvlv iWiiniid and prepared by the iu veiitor) before a Sierra Flat audience. :uul recite art original poem at the Hull ;tntinshately on the conclusion of the "California Pet'i" performance, At a giwu atonal the audience were to rise and deliver a volley of unsavory articles (prevtounly ptimdwl bv the originator of : the scheme); then a select few were t> rush on the stage, seize the |*>et, and, after marching hiut in triumphal proees aiou through town, were to deposit hint beyond its uttermost limits, with atriet injunctions never to enter it again. To the first part of the plan the l>oet was committed, for the latter portion it was easy enough to find participant* The eventful night came, and with it an audience that packed the long narrow atom with one dense mass of human lad ings. The "California Pet" never hail i license joyous, so reckless, so fascinating and aiulaeious before. But the applause was tame and weak compared to the iron ical outburst that greeted the second rising of the eurtsiu and the entrance of j the Itoru poet of Sierra Flat. Then I there was a liush of expectancy, and the poet stepi>ed to the foot-light* aud stood with his manuscript in his hand. His face was deadly jiale. Either there was some suggestion of his fate iu the faces of hi* audience, or some myste rious instiuct told him of his danger. He ' attempted to #jeuk, hut faltered, tot tered, aud staggered to the wings. Fearful of losing his prev. "Boston | gave the signal aud leaped upon the 1 stage. But at the same moment a light figure darted from Ivhitid the scenes, and delivering a kick that scut the ilis comfited humorists back among the mu sicians, cut a pigeon-wing, executed a doutilc-shutfii , aud then advancing to the foot-lights with tliat inimitable look, tliat audacious swagger and utter odoa ■ ion which hail so thrilled and fasciiuitcd them a moment before, uttered tlieehar ! aetcristie speech : "Wot are you goiu' to i liit a man fur, w hen he's down, s-a-a-y ?" The look, the drawl, the action, the readiness, and above ull the downright courage of the little woman, had its ef fect. A roar of sympathetic applause ; followed the act. "Cut and run while vou con," she whispered hurriedly over her one shoulder, without alteriug tlie j other's attitude of pert and suticy deti | anew toward the audience. But even u* | she sjx>ke the poet tottered and sank , fainting upirn the stage. Then she threw i u despairing whisper Ix'liiiul the scenes, ! "Ring down the curtain." There was a slight movement of opjxi sition in the audience, but among thorn rose the burly shoulders of Y'ulia Bill, the tall, erect "figure of Heury York of Sandy Bar. and the colorless, determined ! face of John Outburst. Tlie curtain eanie down. Behind it knelt the "California Pet" beside the prostrate poet. "Bring me some water. Rnu for a doctor. Stop!! " Clear out, oil of you !" She hail unhxxxxl the gandy cravat • and opened the shirt-collar of the inseu i sible tiguje te-fuie her. Then she burst I into an hysterical laugh. "Monnela!" Her tiring woman, a Mexican half -1 breed, came toward her. "Help nie with him to my dressing room, quick ; then stand outside and wait. If any one questions you. toll them he's gone. Do yon hear ? He's ' gone." The old woman did as (die was hade. ! In a few moments the audience hail de | | MI ted. Before morning so also had tlie i "California Pet," Mauuela, and—the poet of Sierra Flat. But, alas ! with them also had depart ed the fair fume of the "California IVt. " Only a few, and these it is to lie feared of not the te-st moral character them selves, still had faith in the stabiles* honor of their favorite actress. "It wax a mighty ftxilish thing to do, but it'll all eunio out right yet." - Ou Uie other ; hand, a majority gave her full credit and approbation for her undoubted pluck aud gallantry, but deplored that she should have" thrown it away upon a worthless object. To elect lor a lover the despised and n< lien led vagrant of •Sierra Hat, who had not even the manli ness to stand up in hi* own defence, wa* not only evidence of inherent m<>ral de pravity, but waa nu iusult to the com muuty. Colonel Star bottle saw in it only another instanee of the extreme frailty of the sex ; lie had known similar cages. Tlie Colonel had also noticed a singular look in the dog's eye which he did not ' entirely fancy. He would not say any thing against the lady, sir, but he had ! noticed . And here haply the Col onel lierame so mysterious and darkly confidential ss to le unintelligible and inaudible to the bystanders. A few days after the disappearance of Mr. Chubbuek a singular report reached Sierra Flat, and it was noticed that "Boston," who since the failure of his elalxu-uto joke hail Ixx-n even more de i pressed in spirits than is habitual with great humorists, suddenly found tliat his presence was required in San Fran cisco. But as yet nothing hut the vaguest surmises were afloat, nnd nothing definite was known. It was a pleasant afternoon when the editor of tlie "Hierra Flat Record" looked up from hi* case and beheld the figure of Mr. Morgan McCorkle standing in the doorway. There was a distressed look on the fare of that worthy gentle man that at once enlisted the editor'* sympathizing attention. Ho held an o*jxn letter in his hand, as he advanced toward flic middle of the room. "As a man as has oilers teirne a fair reputation," began Mr. McCorkle slowly, "I should like, if so be a* I could, Mis ter Editor, to make a correction in the columns of your vnloable pnpxr." Mr. Editor begged liim to proceed. "Ye may not disremember that alxmt a month ago I fetched here what so be as we'll call a young mau whose name might be as it were Milton Milton Chubbuek." Mr. Editor remembered jx'rfectly, "Tliet same party I'd knowed better nor fower year, two ou 'em campin' out together. Not that I'd known him all the time, fur he war shy oral strange nt spells and hail ixld ways that I took war nat'ral to a horned poet. Ye may re member that I said he was a horned poet ?" The editor distinctly did. "I picked (his same party up in St. Jo., talkin' a fancy to his fart*, and kinder calklnting he'd runn'd away from home —for I'm a married rnun, Mr. Editor, and hev children of my own—and think in' Ixilike he was a horned poet." "Well," said the editor. "And as I said before, I should like now to make a correction in the columns of your valooable paper." "What correction 7" asked the editor. "I said, ef you remember my words, as how he was a horned jxx't." "Yes." "From statements in this yer letter it seems as how I war wrong." "Well ?" "She war a woman." A man died at St. Louis recently, and in his will, after stating that lie never forgot a favor, left SI,OOO to an indi vidual who ten years before ran ,way with his wife, CENTRE HALL. CENTRE CO., PA., FRIDAY, JULY 7, 1871. Australian AhoriirluiiK Some of the costume* anil superstitious of the black native* of Australia ura very txx-uliitr. The ideagencralh entertained bv them (hat thev at their go to Vail Dioutcn's uuij, nud eotue Imek white fellow*, originated, lio (loltht in this way. Buckley, on hi* ftrat uppcar aiiee amongst them, the first European they hail ever aeen, ws rrwiwd uiuongM them a* the tviij>|H'!imnoe of a native jiut dead, whom in every re* jink, except color, he closely resembled; * fully believed to t>e the very man ; was adopt* -l by the dead man's friends and trine, and called bv his name. No tlonht lmt the similarity, fortunately for Buckley, saved his life. Afterward*, when settlers streamed over from Tan 1 heuien's Lund, and the natives heard it n eutioued al most aa the ouly place whence the white people ouiue from, and prolaibly seeing many others in person or feuture, rascui hUn# their dead relatives, that they should have such an idea is nothing sin gular or wonderful. Much more singular and curious idea* they have; strange, lu.lced, is their no tion of dwith ; or rather, that with the constant and {stlpnhle decay of Ute human frame Udore their eyes, they have no belief iu death from natural causes. All dcatlis they consider to be the result of accident, malice, or magic. When a death occurs, they decide that the dc . eenatsl |M*r*ou's kidney fat ho* been i stolen sany in aleei. by some enemy, sided by magic. The body is ti.-d up immediately iu a lump tightly drawn together, body and limlw, by strips of Mirk aud cords ; aud he, and every kind of property lielongiug to him, scrupu lously mul supcratitiously- war imple ments, his trttitrr tetiUrrri, or ojawsum* rug. guns, if he lias any, even double barrelled ones, although ver so highly valued—ore broken ; and these, with the ( white aud black money, iu spite of itch ing hands longing to take it ; everything, in fact, goes with him into his grave religiously. Gravely also is it whispered into tlie ear of the dead wau. that he may rest satisfied iu his grave; that hi* block friends "ill, without full, avenge his death. And in consideration of this arrange ment) he is requested to refrain from terrifying his old frieud* and trile ; tliat he must not liaunt them with alien voice*, or the foot-marks of the strange feet about their encampment*. The mourners wear their wliite-iioint mourning, uever wooliing IIMMNU*, even if mouths ' should cLipac, Is'foro they have perform ed their vow to the deceased. When they have tasted the enemy's flesh, the mourning cease-*. Thi* i* a miserable superstition, nnd rouses a great deal of bloodshed. To discover in what direction the enemy of the dead is to be found, they take an insert, and observe in what direction it crawls ; and tliat is an infallible indica tion. In that imarter, they g, no mat ter how far ; the first native crossing their path is the murderer of the dead, anil in hi* torn become* the murdered. One death, even n natural one, thus Ixvome*, through ignorance and super- Ktitioit* custom, the rouse of many un natural deaths. Another of their inhuman and inhos pitable superstitions is that rrpmling strangi-r*. How different from the Jew ish or Christian code, by which rirangctw are jrivilcg*l and sacred jx-ople : "Thou shall iu no wise hurt the stranger in thy gate 1" Immediately that a strange ua tive is fori ml by any trite- in their neigh borhood, all the people are iu-u stale of tumult, veiling, and getting ready their weapons of war for his instant destruc tion : for their belief is, that if they do not kill him, tliey will thein*elvi', gen t-rally, and most fatally, tei visited with dysentery. DW]H)slng of the Bog*. Philadelphia has established one insti tution which must rejoice the heart of Mr. Bergh. Stray dog* that remain un claimed were formerly disposed of by lasting their liraiu* out with a club, in full view of the other terrified animal*. The "Society for the Prevention of | Cruelty to Animalx" to>k tip the mat ter a year ago, and crectixl a building in the pound, in which is a " smothering room," where the dog* doomed to death are destroyed. This will hold fifty or sixty, and is made very tight. When the victims are all assembled, earlMuiie acid gas is introduced by an ingenious process, which in a few minutes stretches the whole without pain or struggle, life less on the floor. A nntti then takes ; away the carcasses to an establishment, where he lxiils them down to obtain the fat. which he sells. The whole matter is nnder the cluirgo .of the woman's branch of the society, which numbers among its members some of the most respectable ladies in the city, by whose agents much suffering in various ways is prevented. This certinlv is a praise worthy institution, for if nny animal is | entitled to humane treatment it is the dog—the most affectionate aud faithful , of all dumb beast*. EXTRA VAOANITS IN DUES*.-- After all, says a writer, how small a proportion of the population nro extravagant iu dress or meth-xl of living ! Tlie rural jxipula tion form the great majority of the people and with them simplicity and frugality are tlie rule. And so, also, are thev with onr work-people in the cities, with artisans, handicraftsmen, mechan ics. Even a majority of merchants and tradesmen are plain folk, and live quietly and simply. The idle and the extrava gant have some accessions to their rank, no doubt but the great mass of the people have not the jxiwor to be otherwise than frugal even if they would. We recollect that when, during the panic of 1857, a great ontqry rang against the extrava gance of women, which some people imagined brought on the fiuancial troubles, a statistician computed that there was an average of but one silk dress to every four women in the country. A Goon OPEN ma.—There is a good opening for a divorce court at Elmirn. About a year ago half a dozen couple of foung things at a party got married for uu, just to see how it would seem, and whether matrimony was snch a fearful thing as the old maids hail been talking around that it was ; and now they have found out that fliey are married the worst way, and there is no help for them. Some of them would give 85 if they had stayed uway from the partv. while others wouldn't have missed it for any thing. How people difier about these things. VERY COOL.—A splendid story is told of Marshal McMahon when a Colonel. During a parade he had an altercation with nn officer in the ranks, who refus ed to obey him. McMahon finally threatening the offender, the latter draw ing a pistol, tixik deliberate aim and fired; fortunately the cap snapped. Without the slightest sign of fear, cool aud impassible McMahon said : "Give that man fifteen days, tuiW- (fr jxtliri', /or harintj hi* arm* nut of order!" MY WIVRH. -sin a certain cemetery in a town in Connecticut can be found a lot containing five graves, one in the centre, the others near by nt the four points of the compass. The inscriptions on the latter read, resiiectively, after the name of the deceased : "My I. Wife," " My ll.* Wife," " My 111. Wife," 4' My JIII. Wife," while the eeutrestoae bears the brief but eloquent exproeeion, " Our Husband." A Sockdolager. In one of the interior counties of Mis souri lived mime eight yearn ago, a man who followed preaching for u living. He was called Elder 11 —, and was engaged to preach to the CamplieUitea. His peculiarities soon made him unite noted, and large audiences assembled to hear j him. Of late he lots abandoned the pulpit, and is now a jnstioe-of-the-peace lawyer. On one occasion, when at the oeniUt of his fame, he preached a dis iMiirMi on tliedeliverouee of the children of Israel, in which he said :—" Bretlireu there are many difficult passages in the Bible, and you are likely to be led into error unless made to understand them. Now, you all have read this chapter wherein M to he would know that this uirruinstance which I ham explained hnpjxmed thous ands and thousand* of years ago ; ye*, sir, thousands of years before the age of geographies, aud la-fore there wa* any equator ! I think, brethren and sistora, I have answered the gentleman com pletely !** Trading in Japan. If. by stretch of courtesy, the Jajuuese traih-r signifies that so much trouble is needless, then step daiutily, less violence ! lx> done to good nature. To learn the j prire of an article you say I kvroh, \ " how mnch ?" Invariably au exorbi tant figure is uamed. which, if yon have lxon uutinti-d bv some thoughtful friend, will lie rejM-lleii with feigned aatonish '■ meat. Tlie merchant at once responds, "flow much yoti give?" Oue-lutlf the price naked will lx a reasonable offer, byway of compromise. A profound oo nan hi tion then take* place among the several traders interested, all of whom. .bv this time, will have emptied their lupes and risen, some one of their num- HT meanwhile rapidlv shuffling on wire* the little I mils of a calculating machine. If your offer is accepted, several noda of the head aud a simultaneous dapping of i the hand* signify assent. If rejivtisl, make no mora than n trifling concession, for if by any chance vou are ix-rmitted to leave the store without a bargain, a messenger will probably lx> desjsiti-heil in hot haste, saying "Can do !" A jx>r- J ter is nt mice instructed to deliver the gixxt*. For the latter service volunteer* are always nt lrnnd. To attempt to carry one's own package would not only ta il flagrant cam- of infra a very lively and fociunting sport. It has many advantages over the Ixiyish poatime of jxipping at harmlnsi squirrel* and pig eons, or oven ehaaing dowirthe uon-nx sistant rabbit. The tigvr mx>m* to lx< IUI nilversary worthy of the courage and spirit of a full-grown mau. A corres pondent of the Timet of India, givi-s an mvnunt oT a pleasant day's sport enjoy ed by one ('apt. Westmacott and a Mr. Little. They nail heard of the exploit* of a very robust tiger which had an in ordinate apjx-tito for human flesh, hav ing devoured no less than six men and a Ixiv within the S|MUX- of a week. Accord ingly they sot forth to stir up the "{oyal Bengal " in his jungle, anticijuiting rare sport, wliieh thev certainly had. After a good deal of skirmishing and niano-u --veriug they brought the animal to lmy aud let fly ut him. Finding the conflict too hot for hiin he fell down and pretend ed to lie dead, but aa soon an the hunters came near him lie let fly st them. First he chewed up Mr. Little's hand, and then fastened his teeth in the Captain's shoulder. After a fierce tussle lie was induced to let go by u persnosife.bullet that pierced liis heart. At laat accounts tlie men had not n-env-red from the effects of their "sjxjrt," AN ODD Hroirr.—Tha Pariftr Com mrrrial Arirertw, of Honolulu says: " Among the odd aighta that attract the attention of a visitor in Honolulu is that of the native* carrying hav or grass for aula alxmt the streets. At each end of the carrying stick, or momnka, AS it is called -commonly used by them to carry their a cylinder of hay about five feet long, artistically tied around with mall strings. These bundles will weigh anywhere from six or eight to twenty-five |x>und*, varying as tlio weather is stormy or fair, hut always sold at the fixed price of twenty-five cents s bundle, more or less, good or bail. The custom of the place is to buy from day to dnv the supply for a horse, a* the day's mifk is txmght. When a cold storm intervenes and eontinies for several days, few sellers and small bun dles are seen, horses must go on short commons. At time* it comes to hay famine. If the hay merchant finds the market brisk, and Ins bundle pretty large, he will not unfreqnently stop oil the road and make one bundle into two." KNEW ANN ABOUT IT.— lt is said of a physician that, he was waited upon one day by a neighbor to come and see a child sick with the croup.- "Oh! cer tainly," replied the doctor, "if there is anything I pride myself on in my pro fession it is my treatment of that dis ease." As the doctor stepped out a moment to make ready, his waiting visi tor was somewhat taken aback to hear liim say to his wife, "Sarah, what do yau do for tha croup," A rrrwlnir Imitation. Vivier, reuowued a* a phyidcuui, piusi ciau uiel wit, wo* invited, shortly after hi* return to Paris from a lung tour, to dine with a rich capitalist, who uas a great friend of music. After tlie meal aa* over, Mr. aud Mrs 11. entreated their agreeable guest to let UIMUI lisve tlie pleasure of hi* company very often, adding that he would always find * place at tlie tehie. "Always," said Vivier, "tluit is, in a conventional aeii-e of the term." "Not at all ; we do not In-long to thuse [M-ople who sjMvtk empty word* ; we love all artist* ; aud you especially. It would if a great pleasure to ua if you were our flailv guest." "In earmwt ?" "(Vrtninly, we should be delighted." "Well, then, a* yoti an* so kind to me, 1 will do all I can to carry out your wi*he." "Very well, we hope to see you here again soon." Ou the following day Vivier appeared. "You *ee," said lie, "I have taken your iuvitation literally, and have come to dine with you." "That is charming," cried host aud lump-ax, to whom the couduct of the ar tist xe- tiled extremely piquant aud origi nal. Dinner JNMMMXI merrily, auJ on his departure the guest wn overwhelmed with protestation* of friendship. The next day, precise to the moment, Vivier again stepped into the of Mr. 8., who was just in the act of sitting down to dinner. "Here I am, true to my promise, he, "you see I am punctual; but yoo seem surprised," continued he, costing a iM*uetratiug glance u|x>n tin- astonished faces of Mr. and Mm B.; "did yon not cxjMx-t me t" "O, eertaiulv we are glad to see you," replied tlie ]ir, forcing a smile. "Ko much the better, then," and with these words he took a seat at the table, acting the part of the agreeable one to the whole family, aud did not at all seem to notice that he alone, with the ejrvjx tion of a few monosyllables from the rest, wo.s I tearing tlie conversation. On the fourth day, with the stroke of six, the olmtinate guest again made hi* apjtearance. This time, however, he wa* received in atich a cold manner, he asked the cause of such a reccptioli "You will have to mit at> witii w hat we have to-day," said Mrs. l!., freexiugly. "We have only a plain dinner, which, with a guest present, nlaetw me in an embarrassing situation." "1 thought vou exjiected BM> ; but do not let yourself distorted on tliat ac count, for I only wish the pleasure of your company." lie sat down to the table with perfect comjwwure. ate with an excellent appe tite. and politely turning to madam, said: "1 cannot understand what you mean by calling this a plain dinner—tlie viands ore as good a* your former ones were, and t never wish to fare better," Tlie next day —the fifth —as soon as Vivier stepped into the house, he was detained by the servant, *ho told htm Mr. B. had been invited out to dine, and would not be at, home all day. "Vrrv well, lmt I must get my over coat, which I left here vesterday," and. without allowing him*clf to be detained any longer, he walked through the hall, aaceudtxi tlie stairs, and knocked. "Your servant i* a foot" said he to Mr. 8., who hod opened the dtxir, and Mood storing st him speechlessly ; "he Lritxl to make me believe that you were not nt home; I knew that he was mis taken, though. But why these long faces '* Has anything hspjx-ued * If so, confide in me nnd rest assured that yon will have mv most heartfelt sympathy." During the meal tlie artist eutnwted hi* host to tell him the eause of his sup -1 >ood misfortune, but finally at doasert, breaking out into a hearty laugh said ; "1 very well know w hat displeases you : it is my Jitora] acceptance of your hind invitation. I only WISII.H! to try and see how long you would endura me. To-dav you denied yourself to me, and if "l should come to morrow with the inten tion of calling again, yon would refuse to let me cuter the bouse. But it shall not come to this; I wish yon a good evening. I have shown you tliat it is vorv dangerous to make too prcssiug an invitation, in rase it might be taken up literally." Will not the above find daily applica tion. Late at the Month of a Pistol. A young Euglishman named George lloynton has boon arrev-ted in Ixuidon for attempting to shoot Mdllc. d'Anka si the door of the Globe Theatre, It Hpjw-ar* that he is Ayffbng man not quite twenty years of age, and described as having no occupation. He had obtain cd an intrtMliietiou to Mdllc. d'Anka, and said to her nt Ejisom races, " Will yon marry me ?" To which she replied. : " You arc. vorv English to oik me so cold." He said it was the fashion in England, and added that he was worth £IO,OOO a year. In cross-examination the young lady stated he hod previously written |wo letters to her. MIo did not answer the first. In answer to the second xhc said she should lie charmed to seo him in a private txix at the left side of the theatre, and that ho was to wear a red rose if ho wished her to see hiin. He did not appear iu the box, and she in ferred that he could not afford a box, he called owe or twice st her house, but xhe was not at home. She had expressed hor wish to see him ill a box before she gave him an audienoe. She went to the Oaks with a lady, and the defendant was with tlioni, but she paid for the carriage. There was no dispute teoaoe for six months. POOR TRAV.- Dogs iu Illinois are like ly to diminish ifi number. A bill intro duced into the Legislature provides that every owner of a dog shall prtx-ure from the town-clerk a collar, wnich he shall cause the dog to wear. The clerk is to keep a record and description of all collared dogs, and the names of their owners, who niust'pay a fee of one dollar to the clerk. Collarleas dogs are to be considered abandoned, and may be kill ed. The assessors also impose a tax of one or two dollars upon each dog. nnd owners are held responsible for nil inju ries they mat inflict. WAS NOT Anun>.— Awell-known young hidy of Northampton, Mass., caused some excitement at that place, by ap pearing on Main street, in her usual elegant attire, leading s oow. It seems that her grandfather jokingly promised her the liest ijpw if she would lead it from hi* house to that of her father, about half s inile distant, and her father also promised to "throw in" a fine gold watch. The feat was promptly performed, and tlie young lady rejoices in the possession of an elegant gold wflteh and a good oow. The I'auilnr In Persia. 'The horrors of tha Persian famine iu rreoau. A correspondent, writing to a Turkish journal from Tabreex under date of April DO, arty a : "The detail* which reach us here of the destitution and misery which the drouth of laat year luo* caused in the central and southern provinces of Persia are fearfully heart rending. That the people are dying of buurrr, even in the street* of tha capital, is a minor phone uf this terrible calamity. In Khonutaou parent* are selling their children as slaves to the Turcomans in order to keep them alive ; and iu I J- pah an, as is said, men have lieen seized in the act of digging up the corjmes to serve a* food for their starv ing families. In Khiru-Kerman and Tend the wretched sufferers endeavor to support life on the grass and roots which they may find in the neighborhood, and, aa might be exrxvtod, pestilence follows hard ou the ftxjtstep* of famine; be tween them the half of the kingdom of Persia is becoming rapidly depopulated." A later account of the famine is given in 77,' T,mr,,/ Inrtu, of .May 1, which says : "The famine in some parte of Persia i* severe lieynnd comprehension. I tain was for a while hopefully expected, but it came in very meaatu-ed quantity, aud too late to turn the foe that waa al ready at the door. Thurmond* are said to have died by the wayside of sheer starvation, or of atarroiiou coupled with the disease* it invariably brings in its train. Most uf the dead fie aubuned—a fact which may be regarded o* the sure precursor of tvoslilenee. At first, when M-lf-prcservation by any means whatever become a question to bf decided, yea or nay, the former alternative pre vailed with the Mussulman*, aud more than oue human being in said to have been killed aud eaten by them. It is stated the sight* to be seen, and not to be avoided in tin* neighborhood of Shiran, are such that European resident* will not leave their own house*. Also, between Shiran and Busbire. thousand* of dead bodies lie nnlHiried." Tend of the Ladles. It must be extremely agreeable to ro mantic mi**c to h*vs their photographs mid their "Oh ! my dear," letters flesh ing around for the inspection of the cn rii'iu individual* aim moke themselves so very Imsy and become so interested in divorce suite. A model oo*e of this . character has recently conn to the sur face at Hamilton. Ohio. Two or tlm-e Years ago, a married man, named Dobney, threw out his net for the pur pose of scooping in some young ladiea. The way he did it was by advertising for , bright, "smart, witty, petty, intelligent, young holy corrcaponuento. He had no trouble is finding fool* enough to reply, and the result wo* that he cutered into m cr* and drew forth 380 letters, with enough of photograph* to start * small picture gallery. A* might hare been expected, she created a profound sensa tion in the neighborhood at short notice, and one or more olwernrtion* passed by the infuriated Madame led Mr. Dobney lo understand that hi* services as bus luuid were no longer required, aud Mr Dobney. concluding his peace of mind, if not his personal safety, depended on his rapid exit from under the family roof, left. At the opening of the (Vmrt at the next term, Mrs. Dobuey appeared with her lmndle of light literature and ■wiked the Court to release her from the bonds which bound her to this seeker of forbidden fruit; and considering the javculiar circumstances of the ca*e, the Court granted the prayer of the pe- j titiouer. This speculation of feminine sincerity corresponded nnder tlic as sume.! names of J. I). I'lstt. and F. M. j Werkes: therefore, if any of the score of voun* ladies who were engaged to Mr. bobnrv happen t< see tlii* jwragraph. thev will please take it a* an explanation why he did not fulfil the contract Wage* af Mawmrm*ette Mood-w ark era. The Hpnagfleld Rrpv/Jjamt says : The report of our labor bureau d;>e* not show bow many carpenter*, cabinet-makers, Ac., ore included in its statistical tables. It u fair to suppose that they number tiva or six thousand, however, and they are scattered all over the Ktate. The average wages vary from $2.30 a day to 1 $3.50 in different localities for carpenters nnd alxmt 50 cent* less for cabinet-mak ers. Sawmill bands and ehairmnkers lmve lower wages. averaging perhaps 52.25 throughout the State. A firm iu Boston pay stair-builder* 53.50, carpen ters and turners $3. engineer $3, team sters $2, and laborers $1.75. Another in Boston hires 11 carpenters st an aver age of 82.74. highest and lowest monthly earning*. 8-30 and s4s. hours of labor 59. A third hires 10 men at from 84.50 to $1.67 per day, average 83.43. -A fourth lures 100 meu at from 84.50 to 82.50 j>er , dav. averaging 83. A building firm in j Middlesex County employs 33 men ; 28 aanientersat Highest, lowest, and averagv of 83, 81.25 and 82.50 ; 5 painters at 83, 82.50. nnd 82.70 ; has carried on lmsiness for 30 years; pays the same wages per hour in winter sndsummer ; lias for the last five years paid his men every week, and finds it much tha best way for all. An architect in Boston lias 15 rm/tioyr*, 13 men and 2 women, engaged in draw ing ami superintending, at earnings for six months of 81,050, to 84-* l, ami 8800 /or women, hour* of labor 48, time for dinner, 75 minute*. Bridge and wharf hnilder*. aud pile drivers, are paid 82.50 a dav. average; season of employ-meat 250 ilays per year. A Stratagem Foiled- A Paris legal journal gives details of Roehefort. It say* : The train stopped st Moaux, a station about 10 miles from l'ari*. An officer coiue to the carriage ] door and asked the passengers for their pastqtorte or Govermuent jiapers. "My j (lajxTs," safll Roehefort calmly, " I did not know they were necessary, lmt if, yon give me a pen and paper I will write At once to Pari* for them." " Certainly, Sir. if you will follow me you will have what you require." Roehefort followed the officer, who placed him nt a table, when lie wrote a* follows : "My dear Colouiliel : I am asked at the Means station for mv paper*; oblige me by iN*u( the licenses certainly covering the locality. TKHMS : Two Dollar* a Year, in Advance. A Farmer AI larked by • Mad Hone. In the towtiobtpof Taylor, Mich., a very exciting affair usetirraL A man notiied Pieres Andrews, who had lately moved in from Wsabtenaw County ana leased a farm, returned that morning with a young horse which he lutd pur chased at Wyandotte. In riding the animal home, Andrews hod to give him several whipping*, and was ouoe or twice nm away with, aud thus, whim he ar rived home, h# was tired out, and the borne waa ucrvoua aud excited. There being some goods nocked away' in the stable*, Andrews took the home ta an the bars floor to tie him While o doing the animal bit him. and for this he waa soundly belalxirwd with th hoo die of a broken pitchfork. After being struck several times he broke loo*, auil ran at Andrew*, and struck him down j with one of his fore feet. While is this jxMttion, the farmer received a bud in jury from being stepped on, but managed to get up and show fight, still retaining posaesrion of his weajioa The horae reared, kicked, and ottered mad neiglm, *nd in a moment stniek the man down again. Andrews fell so dose to s parti ' turn that the horae could not get at him well, and here h* kept the beast at bay ; by pounding it* teg* with the club. ' The people at UM house had heard the .sounds of the struggle, and a hired man and the family went soon around the door. AM the horse seemed to quiet down a little, the man shouted to An drews to crawl carefully slung to the door. This the farmer started to do, lmt had not crawled three feet when the the horae pounced upon him again, and this time dislocated hi* shoaldar by a blow of hi* hoof. The home then com menced plunging aud kicking every thing, jumping at Andrew* whenever the farmer moved; and in this emer gency, seeing that he was likely to be klllea, he shouted for the man to get tha family out of the yard, and Hum open the door, imppuaing that the animal would then go oak Thi* was done, but the horse f lunged oat and in again with sueh rapidity that the fanner could not escape, the animal making at him every time be tried ft. Aa a last resort, the hired man loaded an •rmv musket with fine shot, and gave the borse the full charge in his shoulder oi abort range. The beast went down, jumped up, made a few circuit* of the yard, and than leaped the fence into the pasture, and ran until tired out An drews waa badly bruised in many plaaea, had a shoulder dislocated, a* stated, and will be couflned to the bouse for some time. The horae received consid erable injury from the gun-shot, bat it is thought s veterinary surgeon saa heal the wound*. Musket Balls la the Human Body. Io Prymr't me find the fol towing: "A number of curiona cases of the progre** of musket balls from the tdace where they are first lodged have been observed by the military surgeon*. We have heard of a remarkable case where the musket ball struck the fore head above tlie nose, and having divid ed into two halves, one half went round beneath the skin on the right ride, and the other on the left advancing in con tact with the skulL We do not ask our readers to believe the poetical edition of this fact thai the two half bullet* met again behind, after having performed i the circuit of the heed in opposite direc tions, and advancing with a slightly di minished force, united and killed an unfortunate man who stood in their way ; bat the fact of the splitting of the bul let and the advance of each half in oupaeite directions is unquestionable. The singular process of a musket bul let from the forehead to the throat has been recorded by Dr. Fielding. At the battle of Newbury. 1643, in the time of the Oromwellian civil war. a medical gentleman was shot near the left eye. The skull wa* fraetured at the place ; but though the surgeon could see the' pulsation of the brain tieneath the; wound, yet the bullet had turned on one l side and' could not be discovered. Var ious te-ne* were discharged from the wound, the mouth and the nostrite. At the time of tlie second liattle of New bury the wound healed and could not be kept open ; hut about twelve years after ward, when the doctor was riding in a cold dark night, he felt a pain about the ' almond.* of the ear'which occasioned a partial deafness. Having stooped his ear with wool, he was surprised one day ' in March. 1670. by a sudden poll or crack in bis ear. when all that aide of his cheek hung loose aa if it had been para- ; lytic, anil a hard knot was felt under the . w. Various tumors now appeared alxmt the throat, and iu August, 1672. a bullet was token out ef tlie throat, l near the pomwm Aiiami. AN AKBCIKITK or ME. SPI ROBO*. —Tlie SbwfA btmdoH Pre** give* what it calls* characteristic anecdote of Mr. Spttrgean. Itecentiv an eminent Baptist called on him ami made a statement to the follow ing effect : Ten years ago he hod set ankle £I,OOO toward building a chapel, bat untoward circumetanoee bad inter vened and prevented the execution of his design. This he was now, he said, desir ous of catying into execution, and he trusted Mr. Hpurgeon would render him his assistaace. "What do you wish me to do?" asked the tabernacle pastor "To give me your powerful aid in miring a second thousand, which is imperallvejy required." "I nuderataud." aoid Mr. Hpurgeon; "but let us aee—you had the use of this money for ten years?" "Yea." "During that time it tnnst have been worth to you st least ten per oeui per annum?" "Well, I dare say." "Then, my dear sir, vou have got the money without troubling we. Go, aud build thechsneL " And the apphcaut departed, satisfied with this business-like and thor oughly practical view of the matter. TAXTAUMNO.— A certain countryman, who come up to Luaduta on businrts, lost his purse as he went about late in the evening : and the amount being great, he set np poster* in many places, to say that, if any man found the purse, and would bring it to him, he should be rewarded. A gentleman belonging to the Temple wrote under one of tlie jointers, directing the man to come to hia chamtx>r, nud told him where. So when he had come, the gentleman naked him. first, what was in the purse ; secondly, what the country man was; and thirdly, what was hia name? "Sir," said lie, "£2O were in the purse, I am half Welshman, my name is John ap Janken." " John an Janken," said the gentleman. "lam glad I know thy name ; for so lang as I live, neither thou nor any of thy belongings shall have my purse to keep ; and now fare well, gentle John ap Janken. ' SCOAR.— The sugar interest of Louisi ana, which was almost annihilated during the war, is again rising to prominence. In 1861 the yield wa* 449,410 hogsheads; in 1864 it was but 6,608 hogsheads ; and from that time it gradually rose until m 1869 it was 87,000. This year's crop is expected to be about 130,000 hogsheads, which is more than a fair average yield. Artificial ice has the reputation of be ing far more endurable than the natural article, the crystals being more solid, and exhibiting less tendency to split into flakes. The estimate has been made that thirty per cent less of artificial ice will secure the same preservative effect. Never make a remark at the expense of the other; it is meanness. JPPMHfc® Ml '- flßKwjJ^r Tbs beta wood tar making thrtdlsn Rook %4r Police }mM WWnm-lM m speak of turn M Wlfinto hi in, A aood gang* by which to measure a man'" character * hi bn-guage. Sailor* arv not naeresseily making " plum (bit whan thay are stowsitep lit mriwnta A Michigan man thinks that eternal vigilance will ba tha prion of potato** t this year. . A Texas paper report* a marriage in which tike lady was fifteen yrara old .and a widow. "My tat! in the Back Yard," by the author of "My Somranr in a Garden," to fuiaouaecd. A married tonn in Laotingborg, N. 1., baa been mn*d by a yooag taw.!'"" court that a man who ngya "howiwm dever" cannot be a gentleman. 1 Fire hundred and twenty-dee thou sand mix hundred railroad train* leave London in the coot an of a year. It will nrohaMy give rim to a difference of opinion, if wo as* if an individual who baa married a shrew can be considered a | shrvnl man. A Western lady, to aid a fctoitoakateh, r' recently painted cm the inside work of , the meeting how* twenty-three day*, i! True womanly teal this. AppMon'a thinks that preach - era who speak of the "simplicity of dree*" : of onr grandmothers are not well read in i the history to a hundred years ago. ' \ A nerrona pevaoo states that he hated bring called upon to make a speech at a ;: public dinner, because 'getting on Ms 1 , toga always sent Mm off his bead.** The Lanbury {CM Had is complained lof by the priaeoets as bdng too airy i and foaky. They don't oropaa* to May I them, unices tto I>gUstiire toff .mend the holes. Two irate woks of New Orieaaa throw eggs at a polieemaa 1m eel tis , I separate them, until he strongly macro bled an omelet, and appeared disgusted . f in the egg-stream. . | Baring heard that aa imtamm of to- J banco is the beat thing to esiifpate the i potato-bog, XUinois termer* aw cuter - taining their neighbor* to chewing picnic* is their fields. A citizen of Connecticut, recently in tsodnead to a nowiy-ooarried man, con gratulated him warmly, and aaid : "Ah, tho*t Litchfield County girls make clever wives ; I've had tome of *om.** A school district in Maaaaohnatote has |s committee at three, minsisting .of > A ; man. Ms wife, and bis daughter. Stnwff* ! to asy, the daughter ~-t the appointment I as teacher against all competitor*. A rich farmer refused to suhseribe fno | an iron fence for a cemetery in Vermont, ion the plea that it needed no tenee, aa , those cannot get out, and those who arc out do not want to get in. The Hon. John Pwntias, of Keen#, New Hampshire, aged ninrty-thwe, fa said to bring in the United State*, having traveled the rug ged road and received his dogma in 1807. Leavenworth, Kan***, i* said to boast at s man who is to tall that hta kkaasae 1 cannot bp got into om pirtuw. A wml artist ha* painted Ma bead and tbonldera, and announce* thahhe will bc'oositonuad next week." A voting man of preview good ehmnc ter, named Albert Itoad, who was to have been married in Ussnty-foor houtm, was arrested to Warren. BL, tho other iay, by aa offlosr from Nebraska, on a charge of home- stealing. Six Ward Pohtieiaa (wbo ha* bow splashed )—" Ton bloody Snooser! I make yon turtle yotur Hash in H—B f* Poetic Young Lady—" O, Clara ! There's the Antbor of the new Poems! Let's stop and listen. How sweet t* In Vermont all of the wife's property of every description, and whether in ' poeposwion or in acthm, ia aaemoted i two the hnsband's debta; and if he absconds she may, by petition, take and sell property aa a tingle woman. ' This ditty ha* resulted from s nuptial Contract recently entered into by Mr. Ebenezer Sweet and Miss Jane Lemon : "How bappb #tterme do meat Bh< from soar tamed to sosst, And he's a lonwo-sQieeaer. A pbvtician of Springfitod. Mass.. wa hurriedly called away from the dinner table recently by a messenger who made the following request: "Ttmw is a child fallen into a drain and got drown ed ; we've got the water out to him, and now we want you to get the tttu