A GARDEN AND A ZOO. !
I planted Pennyroyal close beside the gar-
den fence;
It bloomed with nickels, dimes, and even
silver fifty-cents.
As many people think its odor rather
strong and rank,
I gathered each one as it came and placed
: it in the bank.
“I planted Dogwood after that, and on each
Dogwood tree
« There blossomed little puppies just as cun-
£ . ning as could be. :
. Their bark would sound for miles around,
but dogs must have their day,
fe Although I grieve to state that many peo-
: ple ran away. - s
! i ;
{ But when the Posy Willows bloomed, and
{ kitties mewed and purred,
; The garden grew go noisy that it: really
: seemed absurd. Th }
So I decided quickly on the one thing I
: cou 0
My plans I'd lay for beasts of prey, and
turn it to a Zoo. |
I planted Dandy Lions, but believe me,
~ when they came .
ZLaey never growled a little bit, but acted
. rather tame.
"The striped Tiger Lilies that I thought
would howl and roar, i
Grew meekly near Horse Chestnut trees
behind the kitchen door. i
"Twas a very funny garden and a funny
“Zoo, I grant,
or the only thing that paid me
Was the Pennyroyal plant. :
—Irene Elliott Benson, in Harper's.
" Tom—“Were you left much in
your uncle’s will?” Jack— Much!
I was. left completely.”—DBoston
Transcript. . ne
“Does ‘Veni, vidi, vie’ mean
‘TI came, I saw, I won it?”
“Sometimes; but whenyou're wed it means
“I've been and gone and done iti”
HE —New York Sun, |
Mr. Closecoyne (during his wife's
reception) — “She gives ’em lights;
she gives ’em music; she gives ’em
food, flowers, champagne, and that’s
“what she calls receiving!’ —Puck.
“There goes a man I could have
married,” she said softly. “Scme men
never know just what they missed,”
he replied quietly, and she is still
wondering what he meant.—Detroit
Free Press.
A most appreciative cuss,
- The Sun gets up to look at us,
" But when he strikes the West instead
' He gets so bored he goes to bed.
LERNER a eli A —Lippincott’s.
“I can’t make anything out of this
poem of yours,” complained the mag-
azine editor. ‘That isn’t the point,”
replied the poet. ‘The cuestion is,
can I make anything out of it?’—
Philadelphia Record.
She (protestingly)—*‘That’s just
like you men, A man never gets into
trouble without dragging some Wwo-
man in with him.” He—‘Oh, I don’t
know. How about Jonah in the
whale ?”’—Boston Transcript.
. Gladys—‘Oh, mamma! Here's a
note from that long-haired pianist.
He says it will be impossible for him
to play at our reception to-night.”
Mamma—*“What’s the trouble?” Gla-
_dys—‘Some one stole his wig."—
Chicago Daily News.
“Doesn’t our friend Sipherton ob-
ject to these constant rumors that he
is going to resign?’ ‘‘He ought not
to,” answered Senator Sorghum;
#‘those rumors are about the only.
~ things that remind the public he is in
office.”—Washington Star. :
“Why,” asked the judge, ‘‘do you
think your husband is dead? You
say you haven’t heard from him for
more ‘than a year. Do you consider
that reasonable proof that he has
passed out of existence?” “Yes, your
honor. If he was still alive he'd be
askin’ me to send him money.”’-—Chi-
cago Record-Herald.
“But, Senator,” asked the reporter,
“who is to pay the cost of placing the
country on a complete war footing
and keeping it there?” et
boy,” said Senator Lotsmun, “it’s a
toss up between our posterity and the
posterity of some European or Asiatic
power, and really doesn’t interest us.
Try one of these imported perfectos.’
+—Chicago Tribune. :
Pen-FPoints.
- By ELLIS O. JONES. id
The average man never admits it.
The only thing worse than logical
pessimism is illogical optimism.
"The number of people who are uns
‘able to understand the tariff is ex-
cceded only by those who don’t try.
Extravagance is spending what the
: other fellow would like to spend if he
had the money.
_ The man who quickly finds his
imitations is the man who doesn’t
pat for them. =
There is no indignation more vir-
tuous than that of a butter-maker
when talking about oleomargine.—
Lippincott’s Magazine.
NTT en
‘All the guests at a wedding at
"South -end - on - the - Sea, England,
brought fishing rods, and the bride
and bridegroom, both members of the
Scotland Angling Society, passed be-
neath an aréh of fishing rods on leav-
ing the church, Sd
ERIGRE E
2 4
ARS
KIONE 2S
NTT 3)
wr
(Fac-simile of the genuine package slightly reduced.
iD
)
an so ed
HSA
Y
- BURDENS LIF
TED FROM BENT BACKS
Weary is the back that bears the burden of kidney ills. There’s no rest nor peace for the man or
woman who has a bad back. The distress begins in early morning. You feel lame and not refreshed.
. It’s hard to get'out of bed. It hurts to stoop to tie your shoes. All day the ache keeps up. Any
sudden movement sends a sharp twinge through the back. It is torture to“stoop or straighten. At
night the sufferer retires to toss and twist and groan.
mend Doan’s Kidney Pills, knowing from
f experience that they are a valuable rem-
®
!
Es
4
3 ¥ ; Tha
i do. You must get at the cause, inside.
x
il
i BACKACHE, DIZZINESS, NERV-
i OUSNESS
(] Completely Relieved by Doan’s Kid-
% ‘ney Pills in Two Tests.
Mrs. P. W. Bessinger, 1328 Taylor St.,
Columbia, 8. C., says: ‘1 heartily recom-
edy. Several years ago | suffered severely
at times from pains in the small of my
back and often felt dizzy and nervous.
The kidney secretions were irregular in
passage and caused me much annoyance.
Heating Doan’s Kidney Pills highly rec-
ommended I procured a supply, and after
taking the contents of several boxes | was
so greatly relieved that I considered it
HOW TO TELL
WHEN THE KIDNEYS
ARE DISORDERED.
PAINFUL SYMPTOMS — Backache,
sideache, pains when stooping or lifting,
sudden sharp twinges, rheumatic pains,
neuralgia, painful, scanty or too frequent
urination, dizzy spells, dropsy.
URINARY SYMPTOMS—Discolored or
cloudy urine. Urine that .contains sedi-
ment. Urine that stains the linen. Pain-
ful passages. Blood or shreds in the urine.
ht In € Backache is kidney gche—a throbbing, dull
aching in the kidneys. To cure backache you must first cure the kidneys. Bi
asters or liniments won’t
! ~ DOAN’S KIDNEY PILLS CURE SICK KIDNEYS
‘Backache, Kidney and Bladder Trou-|
fstoop or lift, and 1f 1 attempted to do so
TWO YEARS CURED.
ble Disappeared For Good.
J. A. Wirt, Russell St., Canisteo, N. ¥Y.,
says: “l had kidney and bladder trouble
for more than a year. My back was lame}
and I had an ache across my kidneys day
and night, For days at a time I eould not
sharp shooting pains radiated through my
body. The kidney secretions were unnat-
ural and there was much sediment in
them. The passages were also too fre
quent and caused me much annoyance.
Having Doan’s Kidney Pills brought to
my attention | obtained a box. Their use
brought relief in a few hours, and the con-
tents of four boxes completely cured me.
At that time I told of my experience in a
[———
“My dear |
Times.
unnecessary to continue their use. Re-
cently I felt a slight recurrence of my "flee
trouble, but 1 immediately i
Doan’s Kidney Pills and was relieved.’
nm] A TRIAL FRE
began using
Let a bottleful of the morning urine stand
for 24 hours. If it shows a cloudy or Djhie statement, and can now say .that
i during the years which have since elapsed
1 have found Doan’s Kidney Pills effective
whenever | have taken them.”
1 settling, or a layer of fine grains,
like rick-dust, the kidneys are disordered.
Test Doan’s Kid-
ney Pills Yourself [gram
Cut out this coupon, mail it to Foster-
Milburn Co., Buffalo
package of Doan’s Kidney Pills will be
led A.C. 1.
mai
you promptly.
N. Y. A free trial
ER DONS KIDNEY FILS
1 1etheRinisThere Sold hy all dealers. Price 50 cents. 'FosTER-M Biitslo. N'Y: “Proprietors Be
Considerate Wife.
The Doctor—Mrs. Murphy, you must
be at your husband’s side constantly,
as you will need to hand him some-
thing every little while.
Mrs, Murphy—Niver, doctor. Fur
be it from me to hit a man whin he’s
down.—Puck.
How a Doctor Cured Scalp Disease.
“When I was ten or twelve years
old I had a ‘scalp disease, something
like scald head, though it wasn’t that.
1 suffered for several months, and
most of my hair came out. Finally
they had a doctor to see me and he
recommended the Cuticura Remedies.
They cured me in a few weeks. I have
used the Cuticura Remedies, also, for
a breaking out on my hands and was
benefited a great deal. I haven’t had
any more trouble with the scalp dis-
ease. Miss Jessie F. Buchanan, R. F.
D. 3, Hamilton, Ga., Jan. 7, 1909.”
Kept ‘With Barnum’'s Circus.
P. T. Barnum, the famous circus
man, once wrote: “I have had the
Cuticura Remedies among the con-
tents of my medicine chest with my
shows for the last three ‘seasons, and
I can cheerfully certify that they were
very effective in every case which
called for thelr use.” ;
American Capital in Canada. .
It is estimated that there are now
between 150 and 200 American facto-
ries or branches of American factories
‘in Canada, 50 of these in Toronto and
20 in Hamilton, and between $150,000,-
000 and $200,000,000 of American cap-
"ital invested in industrial enterprises
in the Dominion. This transfer of in-
dustries and of capital is bound to
continue, wmssisted by the Canadian
tariff and the opportunities for invest-
ment, which the Dominion now af-
fords. Retalitory measures, approach-
ing commercial non-intercourse; may
check the movement, but only for a
time, and. only . partially.—London
To Cure a Cold in One Day
Take Laxative Bromo inine Tablets.
Druggists refund money if it fails to cure.
E. W.Grove's signature is on each box. 25¢.
The British Government has decided
to open a roads department, which
will administer a fund on projected
‘highway improvements of about $3.-
000,000 during the first year of its ex-
istence.
Rostoffice Robbers.
The postoffice robbers are losing
their fierceness. A gang of them fied
out of Southbridge when one police
man rushed up and fired. A watch
man with only one arm scared another
gang out of a town toward the West
a few days ago. There is hope in
the burglars may never get back their
nerve. But there is no prospect that
they will ever cease their activity.
They have got the idea that. postof
fices. are easy, and perhaps they in
tend to get into such practice that they
can tap the postoffice after they have
filled up with the savings of the peo
ple, under the. postal savings bank
system that may come on by and by,
by the grace of Congress.—Worcester
Telegram.
Delicate Mechanism of the Ear.
Wonderful as are the functions of
the eye the ear appears to be a yel
more marvelous instrument. People
with good hearing do not appreciate
the inexplicable delicacy of the little
instrument that nature has implanted
on each side of their heads. But ana:
tomists appreciate without being able
to understand it. There is hardly
any trouble with the eye that they can:
mot adjust, but not so with the ear.
When its fairy mechanism is jangled
aud out of tune, it is often impossible
to restore (its functions. It is the
greatest mystery of the human organ:
{ism.—Detroit. Free Press.
Free to Our Readers,
Write Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago,
for 48-page illustrated Eye Book Free,
ie > al boat Yous, Bo Trouble ond
oy vise as to tl 8 F Toner pplica-
tion of the Murine Eye Remedies in our
Special Case. Your ggist will tell you
that Murine Relieves Sore Eyes, Strength-
ens Weak E Doesn't Savy os
Eye Pain, an lls for 50c. Try It in Your
Eyes and in Baby's Eyes, for Scaly Eyelids
and Granulation.
Many African tribes count snake
flesh among the delicacies, and John
Ward says that with the Australian
natives “a dish of snakes is a much
esteemed luxury.”
Old Mr. Forbes, the ballet girls’
preacher, is dead at 77. He traveled
here and there, and hither and yon,
‘holding - meetings for ballet girls, tn
small towns as well as cities.
‘It is probable that the poulation of
the earth has doubled since 1800. ~~
these two latest demonstrations that
Great Guns Wear Out.
. After about eighty shots the rifling
of the present 12-inch gun of 2,500
foot-seconds velocity become so badly
worn as to destroy the accuracy. In
the case of the new 14-inch gun the
erosion is much less and the gun wil
be serviceable for about three hundred
discharges.
etree 10
In Winter Use Allen’s Foot-Ease.
The antiseptic powder. Your feet feel un-
comfortable, nervous and often cold and
damp. If you have sweating, sore feet or
tight shoes, try Allen’s Foot-Kase. Sold by
all druggists and shoe stores, 25 cents.
Sample sent free. Address Allen B. Olm-
sted, Le Roy, N. Y.
Careful Queen of Diamonds.
Alexandra of Great Britain is the
one queen in Europe who has rot lost
or broken the family jewels. The
British royal ornaments have been
preserved with the greatest care, and
the only change she has ever made is
to have certain of the jewels in the
big collection reset to bring them up
to the more recent fashionable re-
quirements. Alexandra has been de-
voted to jewelry, its care and collec-
tion ever since her marriage. She has
each set embedded in a specially de-
signed tray of white: velvet, and be-
fore she retires each night, attends
personally to locking the jewels in
burglar proof vaults. The only other
person who has a key to those vaults
‘is the Honorable Charlotte Knollys.— |
New York Press.
| “Fining” Is Toa Mild.
Isn’t it a funny world? A few years
ago nearly one-half the people were
shouting for free silver because the
gold dollar bought too much, and now
they are kicking because it does not
buy enough.—St. Paul Pioneer Press.
Training Ballet Girls.
Ballet girls in European cities are
taken at a tender age and held like
apprentices for several years, under
the severest discipline. They are
housed and fed by the master and
mistress, their teachers.
H. H. GREEN'S Soxs, of Atlanta, Ga.,are
the only successful Dropsy Specialists in the
world. See their liberal offer in advertise
ment in another column of this paper.
Researches in Germany show that a
given quantity of red hot coke will ab-
sorb four times the amount of water
that will be absorbed by the same
poke if cold. ee a
Mrs. Sophie Mayer of New York fg
the first woman lawyer to appear fg
the courts of Austria.
Itch cured in 30 minutes by Woolford
Sanitary Lotion. Never fails. At druggists.
Uses Nickname,
Colonel William H. Cross, Secretary
of State of Oklahoma, probably is the
only public official in the United States
who signs his nickname to State doe
uments. “Bill Cross, Secretary of
has affixed to records and correspoa-
dence ever since he began his tenure
of office, November 16, 1907.
For Miners, Quarrymen, Farmers and AE
Mea Who Do Rough Work
Made of steel, but lighter than leather. Suppam
the ankle. Outlast the shoe. Easy to attach. Any
cobbler can put them on. Your shoe dealer hag
shoes already fitted with them.
Send for booklet that tells all about them,
UNITED SHOE MACHINERY CO.
BOSTON, MASS.
3}
BROWN'S
BRONCHIAL TROCHES
An tmmediate relief f
As immafiate JU ior Hoaneosm,, Coughas Same
eric of superior merit, absolutely free from. zap
ingredient.
Price, 25 cents, 650 cents and $1,00 per box.
State,” is the unaffected signature he
Dr. Carl Webber, still practicing im
New York City, performed in 1866 the -
first operation for appendicitis.
i ————
1