nil mm
llfllM
mi
km
BY 0. X. WORDEN AND J. R. CORNELIUS
At 1.50 per Year, always In Advance.
tit t&un eiiMie ;
ivnrHFVPEyr fAMILr JOl'RXAL
o-tjil. nj Itnftabarc. f S'aB CetaBly, Fettl'S.
auK rTll'I-s
rrs -' ' aeTer. " ."""IT-"i
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ft",,lFinth 4,4 for iUn-h tvMt., 3 do. tor two
T!r"h-r onr ' ,r un "P" "
' m , kind of I'm Jur iwvifra ta p. 1
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rename account, it i. SrDI-fKI).
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, k tti wri'r". fill Uf.iil Ml..
fi .-n iBprrtiiii portent
j,at-,n. ' .m;. If mtfril.f"r Mt
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't'V -D''jlLlji LA-3j
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l ito th. Eihibit.on of th Junior, of the
Ei".-.tT - M-irtfc 26, 1K61.
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t:.-i Lr ajuv lu .a t.mt
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fca: 1 .': . le ' a.i iu.'.l Jo
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Su-J... f -i "-i W"ra ili. ir .Ulid. will tea.
A: s .u... i l'-r tiir Sv.tuu .
tt . 1 ;.itt ii. ".til- t il
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in .11. rn;. lu '-iiiv oir li .s
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am lull.. wiou.iy tu-i..o,
Slit .1 h.t u-s win liii' K""i
Win., uturr. w.ll Ail--ri..i. i"i
'I.n. Ur toll I., .hurt un.mh. If r.
1 ii. II uc itw-ii -aiiiii. ' to tu. awor,
U ,tu l..in Ui.t li.' r.ra Ilie .J.
t .rrr on. tti.t i..-r. lJi.
t u.u -'.u.n.r. ' com'-, a- if aftray,
lll.lll. CoiulM.Di tbrj .III obr I
tu., a .r ciainit .r..I a M
a. m-t to -u. tin- .ir.i ' r-
Jin., Uiouicii idi. y-iiOil .ui'roey. ai.y
t'fu oy Ir . mi.m-. aJ- ci-i-ti-.
Snd tiioinb tlo-y tl i.'f ti.t- m dead,
And l II.- I'.r wil' ' Hull i..d.
Aul .lali'-.m j ji i.s il l I" i'.i-a-..
Ic. .-.in 111 I. i-au-.- .ml Ili.ir I. in.
V-t .nil Ii.. ir I'-i uia-t t.il
V.ih.m liut o- .t ! i-. I.-in ii. "
tbj ..ill iiiIi iuii- p-ri-uaU'- ui.y tbiok
I. .ruB to iu tli-it lid and attbk
S- a p lul.-.mi-u .ui-b law.
Aaj.. try to lit fc a tl.w
Id .y.i '. .In! iUi(iiJ lu ci urt,
rir;. b to i:.iu .ui-rt
pi t-aim-.i .JUti ilnS to
T:. ..1.1.11; lr"u tru :
And iL iu.b ill-) .ay In. doe-t are tss,
A .& h. I.iln-nl . h.rd.u.d r.iw.
i:lii..l bi- liii-l. iti.y a not deuiafid
Vif b.i.1 .mil. inch -f iaod.
.y. .I.i.i- tli.t 11-ut lln-ir utuio.1 (rud-.
A: ...irr. junt-a. an-1 tlM-iuaa.
Twi II...I and i- -urt .lib milit and maio,
T-wir r.-i to m. tb.ir auit I" k.is:
It aill r-nr. "1. lit tin- tan i tbia,
eat -touru arint. aud oua a Mlaa.
I.-h Jan:f-r thu .ill .ud bii way
liil.auud "li.iii: ttir cr..t i-.lu.ay
.it. tm'n.ni . I.a let nt'-unt,
AM dr-Ll d:-" U-.'.b tC. Ii Ui.t
e: kn tr-d tlie u.-ui --1 yrmk
of 11 wr ui.h. tli ii.-iou -o.-alt
111- (irii lir li too.-h Lla l.ari.. and Mun4
rf . ut. d.an r. iiiori- K-ilouud
:;i -ai.tmU-. tu.n r .r a. Oilv
It v .b.. Oft-i-ua oiaji"!
I. rii-a ii,. r-k-. tli. tri. l- w-.
Anjfi .wb liart aillii " .ud
II. 1. ' i tli. uii.'l-lt t- oa ot t auia,
It I .1l.11 i.ttrrn .ritr Lt Haul..
St 1.1.-L b.n .iiii.,.r.'ui-d .taud t.-fora
Tt avria till tiin iail u. 00 mora.
Of Tlll Joninra now I'll
f.... aii l-i uiiy ili-ir ora: rlna.
u-t .b-i u-r tbi-ir uauii. on uirb
Aj .-t y anaud tli'iu llimub lb. sky.
. hi..i tatll,,r, t.ir .ud
1 iw nia y.-nr l-mm n.
l ia. t. lu. Irairaum ut lb. flowar.
Tat 'ft ar. tumid in fairy hoaara;
A ad a llirir ...vl-i odor. SU
Tli. air. nay your .ino,- -till
laj, (.r on ...ri hi-nit
T-ir r.ti.al innu.uor imiiart.
And tti. tliur aooii rout.. I pray,
'Aud . .11 1 'bat b. a bav da ' 1
-0 Ui.- l..t rlai-.n. oni- aliail ha
a an iA-h on. toui.oan-liali S...
Tbrrr a: I b. no "M-r-.l"U." IU--11,
Tb. noM. J uoior b'art. to i ilu ;
Trmiur. if Ui.y lutal. tn- ranaa,
Aai tri toi-iay" tb.ir S'Utli.ru pranks,
.l i d.ti-ai) bu I pucb rd -rt fmu,
and ..i Lb.ir labor for lli.ir patu.
aumaa 1 w. . ta.tr one ria
a .tli i(.aloina f irm, but Saahinf eye.,
T t-ir nioi.uil't on r.tl O'Wi.
U.tiiuaa I lipar b.r au-roiy .ay.
a-fno., ibtr-tiuiud r.teli '. away.
m..r- I'li li-u-u ui tour ail-.
l5u -an a.it i-hi-at au with your riitae
A. a.,t. eonul you yon ni' iiutJia more,
"?U-arlb. tn. fum you.l-T .ro.;
tlr ibe lihtniua i1 fi.ri cliein
Ad bUll It UarA Ui ln-a .n Adain;
A' -..in rould you tu. u-aao..! ri.l.
a;lh aa.Alit "our Sp rat. ii-uri to fonla,
tfratofi to. oiubly .b.tla.uil boarv,
tftui. tbe i--eo.t. fri.aa tn.tr eouraa;
A..,n lou d .i.m l" ra . tide,
t .y.od"r i-f lb. day-.od bide
a. t. laaui. wiitim nty niiud.
Imi tUoudlit of u.m hi, kinn.
V J .ori rmed. all '
lue.i t. p. r,,aa jhi, nolil. class.
' trutl 1.: ,. to. d.r. to aay
1
Ilial .-r Juu,,.. wr,.t aalrav 1
a e,d ,r...a .our loimer .lay.
ita ... 1 . .-ia
au amd : lUrre lin jour patb sow walk '
Bat .1; .u.v. h ,, ,, a.Ti
Aodi.i,. h m i( .....
""ae.b-.rt y .r. eitbiu th.t Halt
r lrn inolvr ,,,; -n.
nt.f i.Vr lUc l.lu-a. ari-i-a.
J tw. e. i; part iM-rtmt-a no aaors
J -a tn. .iao, sb.r. oft h.fre
... a..rahii.d mt iiur. Learaioa:'. latriaM,
"T laar.1. on our Id-oar. to laiue. !
j"" "'l-ra-i.l- oar t.,11 .illrlaiaA '
a. ,.f ,,:i or riPl o( I
Aad .t,-. umyt rirrliot eourie as .tared,
M Ui. eld ..,
, "ar hriwu.n tbe si-eat Kisaj
KM, th. aoul Uh. wiof j
JT 0 r.ai-h that lilteatul .bore
at f.-vnla eiil mit to jairl no nore! a a .
.'"'J-eight or thirty years ago, Hor-j
Hinuibal Hamlin, ibe preseut Vice !
--.1 1-
iitnt, were engsged in publishing a .
F Beitmnfr in lUm sin.nll nr.il .h. .
tillage of I-.,!. , n the Utile Andro !
' ii" river, in Maine.
r ,.
ooDLstt.so-Atthecloseof the !
i ' of' .lhe R' PUb'r " !T FT
' ot Connecticut, the wbo e body
li io ringing .he S.ar-Sp.ngled Ban j
" Ine .c.oe is described by those
"'at u iLr.liinjrij imrretiive. i
roa ths trrt. a rmtoMiix
author of tbe folio inc. Jaata K. PtctBure, dlfd
en tbeSthof April lat. He wm mUtnpnrumHK with
'e-binUi Irein;. an1 a lib bm eontribull u the
"JlmaiiDdl" Ho a-b-4 a-SecreUry of IbeNaee under
Preei.h-nt tan Bur. Vie beeeaodete to 6k tbe Hue
. ...icb tbi. - written. b, ,, U subiUbed I. an A I-
tnanae of lcCJ. Tbe Uuthfulne of it. Id iU mplicut-tl-
liy tu tb prwrnt Unr, in ?onr utriking. Oo uulJ
-r- o -' i!
ThB Historv of Uncle Sam and his
. .
Womankind.
I told you, tome lime ago, about Ibe
unseemly behavior of Uucle Saui's biivt
-
hu liiCT WtUleJ 10 JlVlJe big beW taUllli
, . , .
re ltd about tteJUl maa not doiug bis du'j
i... .u . i .. tt...
. iL . r . .
bj Ihem in l.waf.of pr..tectin. Kut,
u it did but concern niy busiueis at that
time, I aaij nothing of hi daugbttre, of
cboui be bad guudly family, all buiom,
iudustriuu; buMiei ; nor of bia wife, wbo,
as all (be world kuuws, talked and scolded
b Ibe hour, and was never ci'iiet in the
ibl,use fite miuuteg , time . g0 xhit,
b.t between tbe bj, the girls, ioi tbe
it t'.ie...L.j.: t :. .
uiu vuium, ukiv ottiu uu k time ut f
epecia!l during tbe winter season, when
tbej bad oatbiog iodj but.it di.-puting in
i tbecbiuiuejr eurutr fruui uiurmug til! oibt.
' Tbe old lady, Uncle Sao.'a wife, accur
: ding to ibe marriage eoo'raci, bad a bouse
' and taiabii.Lincut uf Ler own, where she
played tbe ruisiros lijely, and bit bur
: ibuuib at bim, as if be bad been nobody,
i instead of ber wedded husband. Report
: said, and I believe it spuks Irutb at tbia
' lime, tbat she wu a mighty capricious
body, thit barJ'y knew ber own mind;
' and, iustead of treating her children on
' all occasions alike, bad ever sjaie pet or
auuiber amungtbt m, on whom she lavished
her favors, to tbe exclusion of the others,
fur tbe lime being. ISut, on tbe whole,
; she uiide Uucle Sam a tolerable wife, as
' times go, and took special good care of bis
money, except when it was to be sent upon
j her on baek. She always made out to
; have pleuly of cash for bcr own household
expeus, and never wanted hcrpin-money,
! though tbe rest of ber family might be on
. sober ejuaiuiii. tbe was exceedingly
' jealous of her dignity, and would never let
i Lucie Sam have finger io auy pie of
l bers ; though sometimes, when the worthy
I old gentleman put bis arms akimbo, and
: plucked up courage to say No to some of
ber .xtravagaut rcbemes of domestic im
; prow-uieut, she made a great ado, and
I ctckkd about tbe house for all tbe world
' like au old ben that bus lost ber last
chicken.
The daughters were in the main honest,
icdustrious, good girls, but they took after
the old lady, in being most almighty
talkers ; and besides tbis,bad a pestilent no
tion that Uncle Sam did not do by one as be
I aid by the other. He never patted one
j on tbe cheek, or kissed ber rosy lip, that
j tbe rest did not pout in a corner for a
'whole day; and if be bappeced to give
one of them a uew gown, or a pair of ear
ring, or any such matter, tbe others
wou'd spit fire at bim, like so uaoy mad
pussy-cats, and raise a fiue dust in bis
chimney oiruer. liut, notwithstanding
these kick-ups, tbey were a very united
family, and prided themselves on having
a common intcrestin everything. In truth,
tbe little bickerings tbey sometimes bad
were nothing but April showers, that, as
it were, cleared the air, and produced a
' fresh cup of good will aud sisterly affection.
Cue thing was repeatedly observed of
them that, let them be quarreling never
so bad, they almost always pulled togeth
er agaiust a common enemy.
Hut after living in this way, sometimes
falling out and invariably making friends
again, until tbey bad many of them grown
' up, a bone of contention was somehow
thrown in among them, wbicb, it was
! feared, would at length dissolve tbe family
uuion. that, notwithstanding these little
squalls, bad flourished to example of
prosperity and happiness to tbe whole
! couulry around, insomuch that tbe neigh
J bor looked up to it with equal envy aud
I admiration. It seems that some of the
j girls, beiog, as I said before, naturally
i given to industrious habits, aud food of
j making trifle of pocket-money for them-
selves, had set up various little domestic
; manufactures within doors, such as spin-
ning, weaving, making straw bonnets, and
the like; which tbe others, beiog inclined
to different occupations, such as cultiva
! ting the garden, attendiog to tbe dairy,
' and, it may be, sometimes reading roman
' ees and poetry, did bold io great contempt,
. aud take every opportunity to laugh at in
i coctiuently. Tbia by degrees bred a ter-
rible hubbub in Uncle Sam's family, inso
: much that tbe worthy patriarch bad no
: rest night or day, and at divers times ap
' plied to tbe old lady to interfere. But be
ouly burnt bis Sogers, for everybody eaid
sbo generally made matters tea times
worse by trying to mend them.
Things went on at this rate for tome
and Unc,e s,m , pri(fef hwi
' . . .
to iecite ,h' Le m0,t, dVU"'
all tbe young biggsges fairly married and
fettled off; "though," added the good,
. . ou, ..beltcn hold the man that
-Stakes to msnage them !" At length,
. . ,. , . u i;,
stcP 8,eP' b' huh "d
of contention grew op among them.ao that
tbey DCTer met without hTtn I fling at
The
LEWISRURG, UNION CO., PA., FRIDAY,
eacb other. One party became perfectly
idle, oat of pare spite; and tbe others
spent all their time in huddling togotber,
scolding and talking, and coming to reso
lution to play tbe deuce, and to turn up
jick in tbe bouse, if something- was nut
done to quiet the idle jades, wbo did noth
ing but read romances, and write poetry
fur the newspapers.
By the marriage compact between Uncle
Sam and bis wife, it was agreed that
matters of import in the family affairs
should be talked over and settled iu Ibe
old lady's prr mises, and under her speeial
sanction. All ibe privilege reserved to
the old gentleman was that of sayiug YEA
and NO; with a special injunction, that he
should avoid tbe Utter on all occasion., no
penalty of a good sculdiug from his wife,
and short commons at dinner. Tbe old
geutlemao, on Mating about and turning
tbe matter this way and that way, inside
and out, upside down and tpsy turvey,
and cudgeling bis brains till tbey foamed
up like whip-sjllabub, at length determin
ed to call these refractory damsels before
the old lady in ber own House, and leave
it to ber to settle tbe matter ; at the same
time be could not be'p laughing in his
sleeve at what a de'll of a j"b he bad be
queathed her. ''Let theru scold it out,"
thought be, "I wash my bauds of it." So
be eat himself down and smoked his pipe,
like a hearty old cock as he was.
Now the obstreperous damsels were ac
cordingly called tegetber before the old
lady, wbo had a hot cup of strung tea
ready for them ; and, having iuitiated
each iuto a little gentle cxciteuieut, by
plying ber with the cooling beverage, de
sired tbem to tell what tbey bad to say iu
as few words as possible ; fur Ibe old lady
loved to hear herself talk a great deal
better than she did auyb-idy else, you may
depend upon it. ,
Tbe first that spoke, was one of the
elder sisters, tbe eldeat but one, wbo was
Called Mis Mas'y Twoshoc, a notable,
clever, seosible, well-educated girl, a great
lover of cucumbers and duuib-li-h, but
she was a pretty particular loud talker, for
all ehe liked cuuib fisb. She stuted to
Ibe old lady, io as many words as possible,
what I shall not repeat, fur the special
reason that 1 will not be acreSi-ary to la
creasing tbe burtbeus bf posterity, which
will be ciudcoined to bear euuub with
out my aid, provided they are obliged to
read all that has already been spoken and
written on the sul jdct. SuHioe it to say,
that Miss Massy made out a tolerable clear
case, and proved to tbe satisfaction of
everybody that was of the same opiuiou
before, that domestic industry consisted
entirely of work done in manufactures,
two or three miles from bume; that spin
ning jeunics were the comer stones oi na
tional prof-perily; aud weaver's beams the
best of all possible weapuus of defence
against a foreign enemy.
Tbe next sister that (-poke was Mies
Carolina, wbo was reckoned one of tbe
genteelest of tbe family, though ber com
plexion was a little bronzed, on accouut of
ber sleeping in a room that fronted the
south, where she was rather too much ex
posed to the sun. Whether this southern
at-pect affected ber temper or not, I can't
tell, but she was a high-spirited little
body, aud bad lately given the old woman,
and Uucle Sam too, a great deal of unea
siness, by threateuing to marry against
ibeir consent, and set up fur herself under
bis very nose. She was a very fine girl,
but rather food of show, aud somewhat
extravagant with ber alluwaoce, iu conse
quence of which she was sometimes short
of money. All ibis she laid at ibe door
of Uncle Sam's partiality for some of the
other sisters, though it was shrewdly sus
pected that ber being so often out of packet
was partly owing to tbe baggage having
such a hankering after traveling and junk
eting about all summer, for tbe moment
the birds began to sing and tbe fl iwers to
bloom at borne, neither tbe old man or
tbe old Harry could keep ber within doors.
Like tbe wild ducks aud geese, she was
flying north as soon a the rivers and lakes
were clear of ice. But, fur all this, I can
not help saying, that, if I were a bachelor,
I should like to have such a bsggage for
a wife, though she is such an enemy to
uuion that I fear I should have some trou
ble to keep ber in order.
Be this as it may, Miss Carry made a
considerable bog talk, in which sheclearly
proved to the satisfaction of those who did
not disagree with ber, that domestic in
dustry was occupying one's self abroad in
stead of at borne; that spinning jennies
were tbe foundation of all abominations,
and not tbe piilars of indepecdence ; and
that ehe herself would nndertake, with a
sling and a stone, ta discomfit all the
weavers beams in tbe universe, with Goli
ath at their bead. How she proved all
this I can't explain : for, may I be "eter
nally onswoggled," as tbey say in Ken
tucy, if I am not ao utterly confounded
with elucidations, vindications, declama
tions, and observations on this horrible
subject, that if I do not lose my wits be
fore it is finally settled, I shall certainly, iu
pure gratitude, found ao hospital for poli
ticians who bave lost their reason by rea
soning. Mis. Mae.7 aud Mis Carrir, being the
two antipodes, or extremes iu this case,
like two blades of a pair of shears, got all
the other sisters crimped up between them,
and, as it were, almost cut them in two.
There was Miss Pen, a bouncing girl, in a
Quaker bonnet, a plain, iudustrious crea
ture, but a great belle juat about this
time, because she had a big voice, held
tbe purse-strings, and carried mighty
away io the family, insomuch that the rest
of the sisters compla ned, that, fur several
years past, Uncle Sam aud bis wife had
spent mure money ou her thauall the rest
of the girls put together, i'en had a
charming face, aud an agreeable) aspect ;
but if )ui looked at her back, she was
rather Dutch built, as they say.
Tbeu there was Mis Virgiuia, the eld
est of the girls, who, I conies, was a great
favorite ot uiiue, though a little proud, aud
ou the shady side of thirty. She was au
independent baggage, who always thought
for herself and acted for her.-olf. the
took her own way in everything, and went
quietly to wotk, without scolding or mi
king a hubbub in the family, txeept on
very epeeial occasions. I slwaya thought
her a girl of excellent principles, and
iouk.d upon L r as one of tbe main stays
of Uncle Maui's family, which she often
presided over wiili dignity and discretion.
Virginia was no great band at the spinning
jenny and weaver's-beam, but she was
fond of rural economy, and delighted in
tbe innocent and gentle excitements uf a
country life. Above all, sue knew her
own mind, which is an excellent thing iu
man or woman : aud it was said correctly,
you always know where to find her, to
wit, at borne.
There was also Miss York, the largest
of the family, a buxom, easy-tempered
creature, wbo had so mauy employments
about the bouse that she did not fly into a
passion when one of tbem was iuteifered
with. If .be bad any fault, it was that of
not knowing ber own miud for one-half
an hour together; though, in justice tu
her, I must observe that she accouuted
fur these frequeut chadges from north to
south, and east to west, very ingeniously.
She was perfectly independent, aba said;
aud girls that could do as they pleased had
a right to change their opiniuu as often as
they pleased, or where was the use of Le
iug one's own mistress ? The rest of tbe
girls often taunted her with this, but she
got iff Very well by saying it was better to
be a leather, blown out by tbe wind, than
au old rusty weather-cutk, which, if it
oace got wrung, remained so to the end of
time, l'rubably oue rcu.-ou why Miss
York seemed siuetiuics to float about, as
it were, without rudder or compass, was,
that she grew so very large that when a
notiou sprang up in oue end of ber head,
it was so tar to get Io the other, that it
died uf old age before it arrived there;
aud so, wbeu au impulse waked up iu her
heart, budy o' me ! if I don't suspect it
fell fast asleep before it arrived at the ex
tremities. While it was giuwiog in one
place, the other remained quite coul; aud
It seldom cr never happeued, that every
part of this stout spiuatcr was under the
same imprcssiou at oue and the same time.
Now your little peuple, like Miss Kboda,
another of Uncle Sana's daughters, are not
suljtct to such coutingencics. A spark
will set them on fire from the roof to the
cellar, and the smallest atom of a little lo
cal interest, like a stoue thrown into a
puddle, will agitate tbem from the centre
lo the circutiiterei.ee. It is next to impos
sible to make a very large person angry
all over at tbe same time, while ihe prick
of a pin will convulse a little, contentious
body, like Mia Kboda. I thought it meet
to say thus much iu behalf of a young
woman, with whom I have long kept com
pany, aud for whom, I confess between
ourselves, I bave a sneaking kinduess ;
mure especially as some certain persons,
wbo owe all Ibeir cooscqueuce to her pat
ronage and good wiil, have lately taken
upuu themecives to disparage ber before
Uncle Sam and the old woman more than
ouce. I maintain that she can hold up
her bead on every occasion aud everywhere,
with auy of U&elc Sam' girls, and suap
ber fingers at ber detractors, wbo are no
better than they should be ; and iudecd
not half so good, fur that matter.
Oa one side of Miss York sat a sly little
toad, Mis Connecticut; a hard name for
a spinster, but never mind, young ladies
always live in hopes of getting rid of such
eucumbrances; and the other, a tight,
small affair of a damsel, known among
tbe family as little Jersey Blue, from her
having a couple of beautiful blue eyes as
ever looked through a pair of spectacles.
Little Coun, as she was called, was a migh
ty snug, steady-goiDg girl; a little prinky,
but not averse to a training or a thanks
giving frolic. There was nothing she
loved like sparking of a Saturday night;
and nothing she abominated like traveling
on Sundays, unless to church to be mar
ried. She bad several sweethearts io her
day; but, some bow cr other, lost them
all. However, she did very well by Ibe
matter, fur she prosecuted them fur a
breach of promise, and recovered damages
sufficient to console tbe most inconsolable
damsel that ever died uf a broken heart.
She was an industrious, paios-taking body,
aud tbe best band at houe-kepio among
APRIL 5, 1861.
Uncle Sam's daughters. Sbe saved all
the goose feathers, and could make wooden
nutmegs that would deceive any of the
Coenties-s'iip grocers.
Little Jersey Blue and Miss York slept
in the same room together, bat, as fre
quently Larpeus, they did not agree the
better fur that. It seems that an old gen
tleman, called in the family Uucle Charles,
had, a great many years ago, when they
were very young, biquealbed them each a
piece of land, which when tbey grew up
they cultivated as a garden spot. A creek
ran between thcui, which abounded in
fish and oyster, of which tbe girls wcie
excessively foud, and they were eternally
disputing about this matter, though every
body Said there was q'aite euough for both
of tbem. Mis Yuik claimed the whole
creek, because, she said, her piece of
ground was six times as large as the other;
but little Jersey Blue, who had a tongue
and temper of ber own, flouted such no
tions. She said that if Unole Charles was
such a fool to give her bister ail the land,
she was uot sucn a fool a to give up all
the water, and therefore she was resolved
to have her full share uf the oyster. This
bred great contentions between them, iu
souiuch that I am sorry to say tbey at
last got to pulling caps over a tine oyster
bed. Hereupon ibe friends of ibe family
iuterftred, and advised tbem, as they were
both uf age, to go to law about tbe matter,
which many people thought was getting
out of the fiyiug-pan into the fire. How
ever, Miss York, being, as 1 said, a good
natured, fat spiuster, Consented to waive
her rights, and both sides referred ihe
matter to the justice, secretly determining
iu her own uiiud to submit quietly to his
decision, provided it was iu her own favur ;
and thus the affair stood at the ptriod uf
which I speak.
But it is high time I say something of
Uucle Sam' youngest daughter, wbo, be
cause she slept iu Ihe west chamber ot the
house, which was very large, went by the
name uf the tin at West, fur sbe was
quite stout of her sgp, and bad grown up,
as it were, like Jack's beau stalk in a sin
gle night, and claimed not a little on ac
count of her great f ie. Some peuple
said she had rather outgrown ber discre
tion, but it was behind ber back, for if
she bad heard it I warrant you she would
have given them a sound box ou the ear.
J-he was a Will, graceful hoyden, that
ctred nothing for dress, aud was all tbe
anile riding on horseback ; that is, wbeu
sbe could get one to ride, for Uncle Sam
was Very much afraid sbe would meet iih
some accident, the rude at such a rate.
But she was a fine, bigb-spirilcd girl, au
honor to the family, and who would make
an excelleut wife lo a man that carried a
tight reiD, aud sat stiff in tbe saddle.
There weie several other daughters, whose
name I shall nut partieuianxs in this
place, but wbo, some uf theic at least, wiil
be noticed by aud by.
The time being come, tbey all appeared
in their best bibs aud tuckers, in the pres
ence of the old lady, wbo had thrown open
the great ball uf tbe union and made up
htr mind, fur the first time since ehe was
married, to listen instead uf talk. Uucle
Sam kept at an awful distance, for he bad
heard enough about this matter to serve
him ail the rent of bis life. Being reques
ted to speak according to their respective
ages, and uot iulerrupt eacu other, Miss
Virgiuia opened the case.
the was moderate, didactic, aud meta
physical; but un tbe whole, made a very
resectable figure on tbe occasion; and,
as she had a right to do, (being tbe eldest
sister,) gave the young baggiges a great
dial of good advice about tbe obeying
of their parents, loving each other with a
sisterly affectiun, and preserving ibe fam
ily union. But when she came to this
part of ber speech, little Carry could stand
it no louger, but interrupted her iu a great
pa.-sion :
Uuion," said ehe, "marry come up ! I
should like to know what I get by the
family union, but cuffs instead of coppers ?
See here, I have calculated the value of
union to a fraction, and find that I have
lost six and eight puce uf my pocket
money by it already."
Then she showed her calculation, which
would have puzzled Mr. Bowditcb himself,
for she knew no more about ciphering
than the man iu tbe moon.
'Well, my dear Carry," said Miss
York, with ber usual good nature, "sup
pose you bave lust six and eight pence,
what then? You have only to stay at
borne next summer, instead of traveling
about as you da every season, and you'll
save ten time is much. No do be a
good girl, do, Carry, and mind wbat youaTJ
parents say to you."
"I'll tell you what, sister," replied Mis
Carry, "you'd better go and look to your
oyster beds, and let me alone."
When Miss Virginia had got through,
Miss Massy Twoshoes replied, and talked
a great deal about the old story of spio-ning-jennies
and weaver's beam. But as
this is a worn out topic, I shall refer to
Ibe seventeen thousand volumes of docu
ments, reports, alJres-e-, speeches, &.).,
that have been perpetrated on the subject.
She concluded by giving poor little Carry
leetuxe on diaob.d.e&ca ta Lu fi-Jenis,
"CIIROXICLE," established in 1843 Whole No., SSG. ,
but she got as good as she gave, for the
little brunette cut her short:
"The less you say about that mat
ter, Mis Giody Twoshoes, the better,"
said she. "I suppose yon bave forgot, for
it is very convenient to bave a abort mem
ory sometimes I suppose you bave forgot
when our poor old father was fighting, not
long ago, with old John Bull, in defence
of bis bacon, how you sneaked awsy, and
said Jubn was in tbe right, and that your
poor old father deserved a good beating?
And don't yon remember bow you threw
np your eyes, like a great hypocritical old
maid as yon are, and refused to rj Vice,
when he at last got tbe better of bia antag
onist ? Ha ! ba ! Miss Goody Twoshoes,
I've not lost my memory, though it seem
you bave."
Miss Massy did not preteod to deny
tbia, but threw np her band and ex
claimed, "What a little vixeo ' '
Miss Virgiuia and Misa Ten, and Miss
Georgians, the next sister to little Carry,
and the Great West, all called out shame
on her, for treating her elder sister iu this
mauoer; but as for Mias York, she had
got such a wipe about her oyster war, that
sue sat with folded arms as rjuicl aa a
lamb. But little fairy was a match for
tbem all. She turned to Virginia, aud
exclaimed
"iou ueedu't talk, madam : bow long
is it since you wrote a saury letter to our
father, telling him as niucb as that be was
an old foul, aud diJn't know bis own
rights, or those uf bis daughters ? If I
duu't mistake, yuu w re very obedient
then, furjou threatened, if be didn't mind
his p'a aud q's, you'd quit his house and
kill yuur own mutton. As f r y -u, Miss
1'cun, wiih your Q laker bonnet and
smooth face how I do hate hypocritical
faces! a for you, Miss, I am a'.mo.it
ashamed lo talk about such a filthy sub
ject; butdidu'lyuu once fly iu the face
of our good father, (at least I thought
him so then) because because pshaw !
it makes me sick to think cf it because
be raised the price of his whiskey I And
as for yu, Miss Georgiana, you'd better
go borne and take c-re of the pxT old
Cherokee Indians you want to turn out uf
tbe farm old uncle Charles left you, like a
great oaf as he was; and you'd better go
anl Settle that matter about tbe pars in
you uuaerstand m, sister. Marry, come
up ! iiis'etd uf lecturing one in this man
ner, I tell you agiiu, I've calculated tte
value of tbe lauii.y uuion to a fraction,
and seiiled the balance by Locker's arith
metic, and there's au end of it."
Then she turned around ta the Great
West
"As for yoa, yon great, overgrown,
awkward thing, you'd better go home too,
and put on your moccasins. Ouly look
at the creature '. io ber buuiepua frock,
stitched with bark, and piuned with great
thorns ! What a pretty figure you'd make
in a drawing room, and wbu'a yourmaotua
maker, pray ? I suppose i'ju don't re
member, either, when you threatened the
old geutlemao lo run away, the Lord
knows where, because be did not choose to
go lo loggerheads with one of bis neigh
bors about a mill stream be would oat let
you sail bark boats on ? Once for all, I
tell you, ycu're all as deep iu the mud a
I am in tbe mire, aud bad better be quiet
about tbe family uuion. There isu't one
of you that has not deserved to be well
switched half a doz.-n times."
This broadside pretty well silenced Miss
Massy Twoshoes, and the rest uf tbem,
awd almost overawed the old lady, who
could not help in ber heart, however, be
ing proud uf a daughter so much like her
self, io the matter uf having a tongue iu
ber bead. After Considering a short time,
she luoked around, and fixed ber attention
on M:si Yurk, whose good temper and
discretion sua looked lo, iu a great meas
ure, for settliug a.l ibeir. family feuds.
She accordiugly cailed upou bur for au
opiuiou ou the best nude ut bringing it
about.
The g iud spiuster was somewhat puzzled.
The truih is, her bead bad one opinion,
aud ber heel anuther; the heart was
pretty decided, but tneeudsuf the fiugcr
and toes, being, as I observed before,
such a great way iff, had each a different
bus, and could by no means be brought to
a proper und-r-tau'img with each oth;r.
The coustqueoce wad, the poor girl was
puzzled 8) many d.Screut ways, that she
could hardly hold together, aud spoke first
oo ooe side ihe question, then the other,
until Satan himself would bave beeo puz
zled to tell ber real opinion, if the bad
any, which was doubtful.
Now if I bad beeo the old lady, I should
bave mede something like the following
speech :
"Sit down, yoa overgrown gcoie! sit
down, till yon can make np your mind to I
say something a body can nnd.'rstaod. j
Aod now, boar me, yoaog ladies ! Touch
ing the blessings and advantages of the j
family onion, which I hope none of you J
doubt or disparage, except Mis Carry,
who I advise to stay where she is, for no
body else will take io such a vixen
toucbiog Ihe family onion, I say, I trust
there is no necessity for me to point oat
it benefits aod blessings. Mis Carry
mij calculate ttca if ahe ftua, tat I
can't help laughing to ibink of ber pre.
tending to cipher when I remember lb
nevtr could tell the amount of lbryrd
of calico at sixpence yard. The beat
manner of settling this question would be,
to thiuk of the manifold advantage of
fraternal aod domestic union ; the strength,
the wealth, tbe dignity and hsppitesa it
communicates to all, and not, like Carry
there, calculate the six and cifcbt pence it
costs to keep tbe pot boiling aod the
chimney-corner warm. And tbeo, how
unseemly and wicked it is, for listen to
be always squabbling and fighting, aJ
calling each other names, aod falling iota
fits of envy and jealousy, because ooe out
grows the other, or is a little handsomer,
or because their parents give ooe a ring,
another a new gown, another a pair of silk
stocking.. Such earryiogs on disgrace
family, let it be ever ao prosperous, and
prevents its members ever being happy tt
respectable. I'll tell you what, girls, yoa
ill become a laughing stock of tbe neigh
borhood, and not one uf the young men
wiil ever cast a sheep', eye at you. You'll
never be married if yuu go on in tbia way ;
and as for Carry, I pity the poor man, if
there be any such desperate character ia
the world, who should undertake ber gui
dance. She'll lead him a dance, I'll ba
bound. My dear daughters, I beg uf o
uow, j ia bands, be friends, sister agiiu,
aud each follow your cwo taste, inclina
tions, aud eoipluymcoti, without interfer
ing wiih those of the others. Massy aal
the rest uf you that like, can spin aod
weave, while you, Virginia, and l base
that chocse, may cultivate your fruits and
vegetables and garden Cowers, and milk
the cjws, in peace and quiet. All thcta
employments are equally useful io their
proper sphere, and, under proper disci
pline, all essential to the welfare of your
father's bouse. Come, now, be goodgirla
kiss and be friends, and may heaven
bless you all ! my dear daughters."
But, instead of making such a discreet
common-place speech a this, the old lady
talked all around the compass ten time
worse than Miss York. She declaimed
and fl.iurirhed away, first lauding tbw
spinning-jenny and weaver' beam ; and
then denouncing them as pestilent inno
vations, and praising tbe simplicity of a
country life and rural occupations, until
neither she, herself,, ber daughteis, or
anybody else could tell wbat ber opinion
on the sul j' Ct was. Io short, after talk
ing herself dry, and tiring ber hearers lit
death, she concluded by coming to no
conclusion, but at the same time beseech
ing the girls to have patience, keep their
tempers, shake hands, and be ftiends.
"Well, for my part," said Miss Many
Twoshoes, "I have not the least olj-etion,
provided I can have my will in ooe thing."
"Nor I," said Miss Carry, "un tbe asm
condition."
"Not I," echoed all the others in chorus.
"My dear children," cried tbe old lady,
with tears in her eyes, "how your father
wiil be delighted with your dutiful sub
mission! Aud what is it my darling
would have ? Wbat is the condition t"
" Tlutt ire tilth of ui hace our ok arajf
i"r erery thing," cried the listen in fu.1
chorus.
The old lady was struck dumb at this
new mode of preserving tbe family union :
"Go," said she at length, "go to yoor
old father, receive his blessing, aod quit
our presence for ever, "if such ia joor
wicked will."
The refractory bg;iges obf Jed ber for
once io their lives, and departed, erying
out togsthcr, "Divided we Bland, united
we fall."
Thus was tbe great union of oocle Sam'a
family dissolved for ever. But tbe veo
geanee of Heaven overtook these unnatu
ral children. Wherever tbey went, peo
ple pointed their fiugen at tbem, and
cried our, iu their bearing, "Here are tha
foolish virgius, that calculated the valua
uf a family union by pounds, shillings aod
pence, aud left the bouse of their father
because they could not bave their own
way io everything." Nobody would re
cvitethcui, uobody would associate will,
them, aud ibey wandered about in rage
aud beggary, a prey to each other, a scoff
to the vinu iu, a mark for tbe Soger of
scorn. Tbey lived and died miserably.
I'uor Carry, the ringleader in this uoaat
ural affair, was inveigled into the arms of
a wily stranger, who, after robbing her of
all she had, honor, virtue, reputation, aod
fortune, "flung ber like a worthies weed
away," anl left her to perish by the road
side. GooiTlDEA . A correspondent of the
Suobury 6'jkw recommends that Com
mittees should be appointed by County
Agricultural Societies, for every borough
1UJ township in every eoomy, with spe
cial instructions to inquire after and pros
ecute every coo who disregard Ihe tawa
of the State io regard lo the protection of
bitds.
Tbe Melbourne llcruld states that ia
less than a quarter cf a century, Austra
lia has increased from a population of 170,
U 5U0.0OO person ; and ia ten yean baa
exported d,UOO,000 ounce of gold.
SiasiriCAST A geotlemaa residief
io Iowa write that tbe land oSoe ia da .
fcreui seetiou cf the West are fljod ,d
with applicAtion for ikfoIIBkUOn (f (