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WHAT WILL IT BE AT 70?
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"HOME" OR CLOTHESLINE?
MANY UNTOLD* TRAGEDIES
WHAT are you going to do i
when you get old? If you t
are a man, will you peg t
rugs in many colors, like a certain 1
artistic, octogenarian gentleman at
one of the "homes?" or, if you are a (
woman, will you keep to the open by j
being a tottery nursemaid for babies? ,
or will you try the clothesline route? (
Heaven forbid! t
But, "If you haven't got money, you j
needn't come 'round" seems to be the (
growing sentiment (with a few excep- .
tions) toward aged people on the part (
of their families. There are no longer (
golden-haired little girls with a dis
position to lead grandpa around. Chil-
dren are too busy "developing" at (
Montessorl schools to waste their time
picking up grandma's spectacles. .
Young matrons In America have to
"lead their own lives," and their fold-
ing-bed apartments have scarcely
space enough for the refrigerating
plant, to say nothing of "his" or "her" ■
parents. Any grandma who has such
a thing as a rocking chair in her bed
room ought to count herself fortunate.
There 1B nothing of China in Ameri
can up-to-date society—China, where 1
the young wife says "No one is wor- 1
thy of respect who does not obey her 1
mother-in-law."
So the aged man or woman Is left ;
high and dry to carve his or her own ]
fate. It is just as well, in life's hey
day, to anticipate the time when the
sound of the grinding is low and the
golden bowl Is cracked at least, If not
broken. So what are you going to do
when you get old?
"Over the hill to the Poorhouse
I'm wending my weary way;
I, a woman of seventy,
And only a trifle gray."
This was about the saddest story
that Will Carleton could write, and
the poem has doubtless kept a large
population from going "on the county,"
as they say in New England.
Looking at It philosophically, there
Is a certain independence in going to
the place which modern delicacy styles
the "Infirmary." It is democratic. One
has paid one's taxes, If not directly, at
least through the landlord, who tacks
on an extra rent dollar every time you
paint your own door sill or plant a
tree in your yard. It is through taxes
that the infirmary Is kept up, and you
have a right to its benefits.
But there is another side to this. A
certain dumpy old man, who shrank
lengthwise when he was "active," al
ways digging ditches in wet mud,
complains that they hang the tlncup
too high in the Infirmary. What a
nuisance, always to have to ask some
one to get the tin cup down for you,
and there 1B nothing but water to
drink, of course. Even before the war
there was nothing but water.
Then the old women have to wear
blue calico, which is a great Irritation
to some of them. People generally
have a wrong Impression that all van
ity flees when failing eyesight comes
on, and "a dullness in hearing," as
Bishop Tuttle describes it. Not so with
women.
Cosmetic Pedler Finds Eager
Customers iu Home.
If they ever did like to be pretty,
tbey wish it more than before as old
age comes on. A cosmetic peddler
finds eager customers in an old ladies'
home. Appetite may have failed, but
rather than candy or custards in the
roof of their poor mouths, would they
like some magic to take the brown
spots off their faces, or to make the
gray hair more thickly, for "it comes
out so in the summer, around the part
ing place, and it never used to."
There is a true story of a dear old
lady. She had long been a widow, and
never had children, but kept a little
store, near a school, where the chil
dren spent one penny after another,
for sweets and the like. All her trade
was in pennies, and when it came to
closing out and selling her "good
will," the moßt that she could ask for
this spiritual commodity was s3oo—
the sum needed for entrance
into this quiet pleasing "home," which
is really a beautiful place. The old
stone house, once a "tavern" In Lewis'
and Clark days, is set far back from
Broadway, so that great beds of sweet
Williams and asters may flourish, with
bright verbenas, and a background of
tansy and tiger lilies and bouncing
AT 90, SHE LABORS FOR
"DEAR SON" WHO IS 70
A VISIT to an old persons' home brings to light many small sor
rows. One spry old lady past 90 knits sweaters and sells them
so that "dear son," who is out in the world at the age of 70,
may have added comforts in his "old age." But this unselfish soul,
who has made everybody love her by her sunny nature, has received the
reward of the brightest room in the house, and for this she is envied
secretly by those of less happy disposition.
"I just wish you would write it up in the newspapers," says one
gloomy-looking creature. "She purrs around the matron and flatters
her, that's what she does. And then she gets the reputation of being
'so sweet' Huh! Anybody could be sweet with all that sunshine com
ing in her room. I can't even get the dining-room girl to remember that
I like a glass of water with my breakfast And I mustn't get up and
get it myself. Oh, no, that's against the rules. Bosh!".
betties, just as grandmother might
have planned It.
No foolish honeysuckle or climbing
rose shields the porch, for the old
ladies like to see who goes by, and if
the street cars are behind time. Even
the delivery of a load of coal Is an
event. It is interesting to time the
man and see If he is lazy.
So this one-time store-keeping old
soul withstood other invitations and
went to the home. Her sister, one has
heard, was indignant over it, for the
sisters' husband was a rich man, and
she would gladly have given board and
lodging to her relative. But that
house was clamorous with adolescence.
The girls and their beaux kept lights
burning late. The parlor was domin
ated by youth, and the old lady said,
"I refuse to be shut up like a dog."
So she wrote her declaration of inde
pendence and went to the "home."
The chain of subsequent events made
her very happy.
Nephew Puts Ray of Sunshine
• In 01(1 Lady's Heart.
A favorite nephew refused to let his
aunt be forgotten, and he has made it
a point, at frequent intervals, to drive
his car to the "home," and take her
out for a spin, with great pomp and
circumstance. This is more of a joy
than any person out in the world can
realize. It gives the old lady a dis
tinction. Her Btatus is established.
She hits the high places in life when
her nephew comes for her, and she
counts time by his coming. He is
"My Nephew," of whom she can boast
to all those without nephews.
But the apex of this choice consid
eration, which has made the old lady's
heart fairly burst with pride, came in
the amending of her scanty locks of
hair. Many store-keeping men go
bald-headed, and nobody thinks the
worse of them, but for a womna, oh,
my! Women who had no nephews
could nevertheless possess good heads
of hair, and the condition was hard
to bear. Her nephew had never
spoken of the subject, being a young
man of kindly tact, but'he knew it
was grinding, so he thought out a
way.
How lie Gave Her the Wig Her
Heart So Craved.
When one of his giggling sisters was
about to be married, he wrote a subtly
flattering note to his aunt, telling her
that he wanted her to look "very beau
tiful" at the wedding (which he in
sisted she should attend), and he sent
her, without any undue reference to it,
a wonderful suit of silvery white hair,
the very most expensive on the mar
ket (because least plentiful), all made
into a "transformation." Then when
the day of the wedding came, he did
not make the mistake of going for her
himself, but sent a hired taxi, just as
if she had been a society belle, with a
great bouquet of pink roses on the
seat. Her appearance was so improv
ed that her own sister scarcely knew
her, and in the excitement of the
wedding proceedings she became
speedily unconscious of the "trans
formation" and was soon holding her
head high.
This little instance is one way or
"taming" old people. It is often heard,
in intimate family conversation, that
Uncle So-and-So is so peevish. Ho
criticises the children, and he is un
tidy, and being deaf, he suspects other
people are talking about him. Oh, he
is absolutely "unlivable." Or the
same traits may be mentioned of "Pa"
or "Ma," who are "getting so childish."
All of which could be very different if
the rising generation would only re
member that "Pa" and "Ma" and "Un
cle" need a little "gentling," after tney
come into a household. Hagenback,
the animal trainer, says that when he
takes in a new lion or elephant or
other supposedly intelligent animal
from the great outdoors, he always de
votes several weeks to "gentling" be
fore he tries to get any response from
his "dumb" pupil.
The old person coming into his son's
or daughter's household gives up lib
erty. The old people who went into
the Altenheim of St. Louis, when that
institution was built several years ago,
gave up their feather beds. The new
mattresses were so much better and
more sanitary. But the old people
cried, many of them, when they left
the feather beds behind. They were
"poor things, but their own."
Old People Not So Fond of
Other Old Folks.
Old people, as a rule, are not very
fond of other old people. If you have
toothache yourself, you do not par
ticularly relish some one else telling
you about his toothache.
Old men seek young wives and old
women seek young husbands. There
is a link to life in having youth about.
Superficial friends at a St. Louis in
firmary have bestowed much unneces
sary sympathy because these old peo
ple were removed from their home,
where it was "so nice and quiet." But
it is not the old people who are com
plaining. They may be seen today,
peering out Joyously into the world
which they once knew from the gar
den benches in the park around the
institution.
Old people are wisely brought to a
place where they are diverted from
No Cup More Bitter
FROM an admiral of the
United States Navy down,
no one likes very well to
be retired, willy nilly, at a certain
age, even though a compensation
goes with it. Worse than this it
is to be "fired," without warning,
so many a worker has been in
civil life as he grew old. Worst
of all it is to be pushed aside by
members of one's own family, "all
his faults observed, set in a note
book, learned and conned by note,
to cast into his teeth."
their own troubles, by looking out at
younger people and their acts. There
is not so much in the "interior lite"
as there would be if one were younger,
the loquacity o£ old age is very an
noying to an old person, if some one
else is practicing it. Mrs. K. may
have heard a hundred times the story
from old Miss V. about the colonial
grandeur of her father's early estate
in the South; she would much rather
tell how She herself danced at the ball
given to the prince of Wales.
Then old people find the failings of
other old people rather trying. "Wife's
so forgetful," grandpa will exclaim. If
one is deaf one's self, it is doubly hard
to have to shout because one's vis-a
vis is deaf, also.
In one "home" is a river captain and
bis wife, and they two live together so
happily, for this is one of the few in
stitutions where married people are
taken. She cultivates flowers in her
window, and although It is a north
window, she made a rose geranium
grow on a trellis almost to the top of
the window, in six months. This Is
her husband's pride, to see these plants
admired. But here, too, is the sorrow
of not being in one's own home, for
the poor lady sees the carelessness of
the gardener in putting pots of plants
on the edge of the porch, in cold, late
winter, where the blasts bring death
to all things unprotected. "And If I
were to go out and put something
around them, I'd get a scolding," she
says.
The "rule" It is, which is hardest on
the old people in "homes." Where
there are many, there must be regula
tions. All must dine at the same time,
and all must take luncheon at the same
time.
> T o More "Nightcaps" for Him
When Bedtime Comes.
No cups of hot milk between meals,
no "nightcaps" to make grandpa sleep
well. Stairways must be descended
and mounted again, doors opened and
closed with every meal. Only now and
then is there a bright young spirit to
hop about like a birdling, saving steps
for the old folks. In this home there
is no elevator in operation, and no
chance exists of evading the steps up
and down, so painfully taken three
times a day.
The Little Sisters of the Poor come
nearest perhaps, to home care of the
old people. Every "Little Sister" re
gards her old people as one of many
parents, and she looks for idiosyncra
sies in order to humor them, rather
than to resent them.
The "Little Sisters" have the Insight
to shield their aged "children." They
do not tell strangers the names of
those in their homes; forsaken old
King Lears, deserted by their chil
dren, have been grateful here for a
home.