Little Talks by
Beatrice Fairfax
DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:
I am sixteen, but have the ap
pearance of being much older. On
my way to business in ..he morning
1 meet many friends whom I should
like to invite to my house, but 1
cannot, as my family disapproves of
men friends. I am forbidden to have
even female friends.
My mother wants me to stay at
home after work, and read a book
or take a walk with her. But I
have read till my eyes are tired and
I don't mind taking a walk with
her, but I want to go with young
friends sometimes.
I have had one girl friend for a
few years, but now I am forbidden
to see even her. I stayed away from
her for about three months, but I
couldn't stand it any longer, I had
to have someone of my own age, and
now there is not a peaceful moment
in the house.
I try to take my mother into my
confidence but she won't listen. She
is positive her way is right, but I
feel us growing more and more apart ;
each day. I hate to go against my
mother's wishes, but I must have
some innocent fun.
If I cannot have it at home. I
must seek it elsewhere. And I find
none hanging onto my mother's
apron string. I go out anyway (at
least I get out by making excuses),
and she has no idea where I go In
the little time I am away, and I
don't intend to tell her. There would
be an argument if I did. I don't
know whether I am doing the wrong j
thing or not, at least it seems to
be the only thing to do. L. K.
I wonder if things at home can '
really be as bad as this poor child
imagines. At sixteen, a disappoint
ment such as having to stay away
from the movies, or being obliged
to wear last year's hat looms as big
as a world calamity. Very young i
eyes see life only in the terms of de- !
light or despair. They have not yet |
discovered the half-tones that are
such a comfort to the thirties.
All the same, I should like to give !
this girl's letter to every mother— I
and father—of a daughter to read. |
Not that the girl has all my sym- j
uathy, for the mother is to be pitied. j
too; They are such miles apart, j
these two. occupying the closest of i
relationship. The girl has no idea of !
how young sixteen really is, and the
mother fails to realize that sixteen !
has got to have more of an outlet [
for its animal spirits than reading a I
book or taking a sedate walk with j
an older person.
They Ought to "Get Together" ]
The mother has evidently forgot- I
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Bringing Up Father *•' Copyright, 1918, International News Service *•' *■* * m * By McManus
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ten the days of her own youth, or
perhaps she was one of those who is
described as "having an old head on
young shoulders," which to me has
always seemed a sc mewhat doubtful
possession.
Normal youth overflows with rio
tious spirits, fun, npise and a de
liciously humorous —to the rest of
the world—sense of its own impor
tance. In time, life takes a pruning
knife to all these things— cuts them
away ruthlessly. But it is a pity to
lop them oft too soon.
L. K. and her mother ought to
"get together" and talk things out,
without reservation, and then try
to compromise their differences and
come to some sort of mutual under
standing.
The mother ought to be frank with
her daughter in regard to the dan
gers that beset girls. And no pru
dish consideration on her part ought
to keep her from telling her daughter
the risk a girl runs who seeks her
"fun" surreptitiously, as L. Q. con
fesses doing.
A Dnnsrcrous Business
My correspondent does not say
how she became acquainted with the
"friends" whom she meets in the
morning going to business. Are they
former school-friends, neighborhood
boys, boys connected with her
church, boys she knows something
about, or young men who smile one
morning and feel sufficiently well
acquainted to speak the next?
Nothing Is more deadly danger
ous than this habit of "picking up"
promiscuous acquaintances. A girl
of sixteen is too young to realize
the risk she may be running in such
apparently harmless adventures.
Girls who regard a smile as a pass
port to the great democracy of youth
often fall prey to unscrupulous men.
Mothers and fathers too should
sympathize, and contribute as fai
as possible, to the normal craving
for amusement, on the part of
young people. Suppose L. K.'s
mother should say to her daughter.
"Get up a little movie party and
I'll go along too." Even suppose
it has to be a "Dutch" treat, they
might all wind up at L. K.'s house
for a cup of chocolate or a glass of
lemonade.
The mother would in this way
become acquainted with the young
people who are here daughter's
friends, the girl would lose that
sense of being defrauded of the so
ciety of people of her own age, and
the mother and daughter would get
a chance to be "chums," instead of
"growing more and more apart each
day," as the girl says.
Bein# a Parent No Sinecure
There are few holidays in the life
of the conscientious parent, it's
pretty much of an all day job, even
after the boys and girls go to work.
To give them a home feeling, home
must be made attractive. It must
be something ny>re than the place
where they eat breakfast, supper
and sleep. No matter how humble
it may be, it ought to be the one
place where a. girl feels free to ask
her friends. And no sacrifice, on
the mother's part, should be too
great, to bring about this most de
sirable state of affairs, where a
daughter feels at home in her home.
BARRISBURG TELEGRAPH
LIFE'S PROBL
ARE DISCUSSED
By MRS. WILSON WOODROW
"Dear Mrs. Woodrow—l have
been reading your articles and
would greatly appreciate an answer
to my problem. I am a younfe girl
of sixteen and work as a stenog
rapher. I have a good home and
parents, but I am not happy. I
have two bad faults: One of them
is that I very seldom get angry,
but when I do it is not very pleas
ant to be around.
"The other is this: I am a pessi
mist, and the worst of it is that I
know it. I am a strong-willed girl,
and if I chose to become an opti
mist I could do so. But I see no
reason to change.
"I get up in the morning, go to
work, come home in the evening,
study my music and go to bed.
Every single day is the same to me.
I want the monotony of my daily
routine changed. But how to
change it, I do not know.
"I want excitement. I want
something to do that will make me
content with living. But I do not
know what to do." •
In other words, my dear, you "do
not want to be an oyster. And
permit me to contradict you. You
are not a pessimist. You only Im
, agine you are. because you are
suffering from monotony. And
monotony is a malady Just as much
as rheumatism and scarlet fever
are maladies. Routine will wear
upon certain natures to the extent
that they will show symptoms of
physical illness.
And, by the same token, there are
other temperaments which love mo
notony and routine. They lean
against it as against a wall. It is
something stable and real to them,
and it gives them a sense of security
and peace.
As for your violent temper, that
is merely a mental protest against
your state of boredom. It is na
ture's way of establishing an equi
librium. If you went about seeth
ing with these discontented and
unhappy thoughts and always sup
pressed them the effect upon your
self would be worse than the effect
of your tempers are upon others.
But there is a better way. Your
tantrums will abate when your en
ergies find their proper channel.
I believe with all my soul—and
observation has only strengthened
the belief—that the vast majority
of people are ill or unhappy be
cause they are not following the
true bent of their natures. They
are not doing the thing that some
thing deep in them urges them to
do.
A great many people will tell
you that they have no especial bent.
But that is because they have listen
ed more attentively to the opinions
of other people regarding them than
to the voices of their own souls.
I don't believe in limitations. I
have seen individuals transcend al
most every possible limitation. I
have seen persons rise above every
handicap.
If a man without hands came to
me and said. "All my life I have
wanted to be an artist, but how is
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it possible for me to paint without
hands?" I would say to him, "If
the white flame of an unappeasable
desire to be an artist burns within
you, you will paint if you have to
hold the brushes with your toes."
I have seen small gifts of various
sorts handled with such patience,
enthusiasm and skill, that they have
won for their possessors more rec
ognition and reward than that be
stowed upon the competitors who
had a far greater natural equipment.
My dear, drop the pessimism and
rejoice over your good fortune.
Just pause and consider your luck
for a moment. You are young and
healthy and intelligent. You have
a happy home, and you are already
able to earn your own living. The
training which enables you to do
so will be useful and valuable to
you throughout your life. You have
no responsibilities.
If you cared greatly for either
your work or your music, it would
be different. But it is evident that
neither of them is to you a verv in
tense or vital interest. To be healtl y
and happy we have got to really
love whatever greatly occupies our
I time and thought. We must be more
| interested In it than in anything
.else in the wo#ld.
Now you have plenty of time to
give to the fascinating pursuit of
deciding just what you want to
make of yourself. Don't go about
consulting your friends on the sub
ject. Think It over unaided and
alone.
And don't rush out of your com
fortable home and well-paid work.
Take lots of time. You can afford
to give several years to it. Let
the idea grow and allow It to be
modified and changed bv time and
circumstances before you fully de
cide just what you want to do and
to be.
Then, when the waves of inde
cision subside into the sea of calm,
settled determination, go ahead and
never mind the obstacles. See the
goal ahead of you, and never see
anything else.
I haven't an idea what your gift
may be. You may be a born home
maker, loving the care and training
of children, or you may have an in
stinctive aptitude for a business ca
reer, or you may be a nurse, or an
interior decorator, or a teacher, or
a woman farmer, or an actress. I
don't know. Only yourself can final
ly decide that question.
BOY SCOCT CHAMPION
Ijewisburg, Pa., May 28.—A Penn
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of Lewisburg, holds the undisputed
championship In the United States
for the highest :.aies of war savings
stamps and thrift stamps for an in
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five different homes. A palm is
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Daily Dot Puzzle
ze
14 "" v .
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• * 33 \
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v
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Draw from one to two and so on
to the end.
Advice to the Lovelorn
HARD TO DECIDE
DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:
I am a widower aged 35 years and
have a boy and two girls ages 6, 8
and 10, respectively. I have become
very much infatuated with a sweet
and attractive girl aged 17 years, who
appears to be in love with me. I
have laid bare to her my entire fam
ily history, but in spite of my chil
dren and my age she persists. Do
you believe her love merely a youth
ful fantasy or do you believe i* will
be stable and lasting love if mairlage
should result. Second, Do you believe
that the difference in ages would act
as a barrier to a happy marriage?
C. J. R.
Of course, I who have seen neither
you nor the girl can give only a general
judgment as to her real feelings. My
impression is that when a 17-year-old
girl cares for any man, it is likely to
be an emotional, unbalanced and
rather untrustworthy affair. Then
when you add that the object of the
j girl's affections is twice her age and
i has a child only seven years younger
than the child who thinks she loves
i him —it all looks as if the lasting
] quality of the girl's affection ought
| not be counted on too much. It isn't
the difference in ages that militates
against the happiness of such a mar
riage—it is the difference in experi
l ence! You are a mature man who has
known youth and love and marriage
and fatherhood with its responsibili
ties. She is a light-hearted child to
whom love is a fanciful creation of
dreams. Is it fair to trade on her
emotions?. Is it fair to give your chil
dren a mother so young? Can she
understand your ambitions and. share
your enjoyments? Will you find
pleasure in the things she does? Are
there things that you can talk about
together—are you congenial or must
you rely on love making or stimula
tion of some sort to keep you con
tented with each other and happy to
gether?.
SOCIAL RELATIONS AND BUSINESS
DKAR MISS FAIRFAX:
A girl in whom I am very much in
terested is employed in an office
where I am, in a way, in charge. Now,
she accepts any attentions that I pay
her (and sometimes I even think she
cares a little bit), but she has posi
tively turned me down when I have
asked her to go out with me be
cause, she says, her principles, won't
allow her to go oiH with her employ
er. I admire this girl very much
for the reason that she has some fine
principles, but it seems very hard on
me that there should be a barrier be
tween us. I wish you could say
something that might make her relent
a little. "BOB."
On general principles, I agree with
this girl. But it does not pay clever,
thinking people to apply "general
principles to specific situations. This
girl wants to keep her business and
social life separate and so to pro
tect herself from even the slightest
suggestion of seeking favor of the
hcsd of her office. But if you are
the fine, dignified, respectful chap I
fancy, she can well afford to have a
friendship with you. to disregard the
way you happened to meet and be
thankful that she did meet, a young
fellow who appreciates her good
points. Your own attitude of friendly,
unpresuming kindness will convince
her more than anything I can say
i that you are a friend worth having.
TOO YOI XG
DKAR MISS FAIRFAX:
I have a son seventeen years old in
fatuated with a girl of eighteen,
whom he wants to marry. I have told
him he is too young to know his own
mind. I heard of the engagement
through friends. I want to save him
from himself. I have nothing against
the young lady, who has left, home
and wants to marry right away.
P. M.
Of course he is too young and It
is your task tactfully to prevail upon
him to wait. You must proceed clev
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MAY 28, 1918.
erly in order not to antagonize your
son and not to make him feel that
you are cruel and unsympathetic
toward the girl he loves. Why don't
you invite her to the house frequently,
throw your boy into her society all
you can? Keep him from feeling that
it is a delicious adventure t.o see her
a "d that she has the great charm of
the forbidden. Be sweet to her and
make the whole affair as simple and
commonplace as possible. Try to
make the boy feel that you are an
understanding, sympathetic friend.
That will probably take the "edge"
ofT his romantic adventure.
NOTHING TO TAI,K ABOUT
DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:
I expect to become engaged to a
girl I have known for. some time and
am about to visit her people, but
am at a loss as to what is proper for
me to do. Her mother has no objec
tion to sheltering me for the night,
but the girl would rather have me
stay at a hotel. The reason she gives
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is, that women might talk, and that
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With her mother's consent it will be
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