8
HARRISBURG TELEGRAPH
A NEWSPAPER FOR TUB HOME
Founded 1831
Published evenings except Sunday by
THE TELEGRAPH PRINTING CO,
Telegraph Building, Federal Square.
'E.J. STACKPOLE,Prw'( & Editor-in-Chief
P. R. OYSTER, Business Manager*
GUS M. STEINMETZ. Managing Editor.
Member American
lishers' Assocla-
Dureau of Circu
lation and Penn-
Eastern office.
Entered at the Post Office in Harris
"Urff, Pa., as s scond class matter.
■ B> " carriers, ten cents a
week; by mail, J6.00
a year in advance.
THURSDAY EVENING, AUG. 9
The noblest thing you ever did,
the noblest emotion you ever felt,
the deepest and most self-sacrificing
love ever in your soul, that is your
true self still, through all the baser
life into which you have fallen. —
pHii-Lirs BIIOOKS.
IN POOR TASTE
WHEN young men are guilty of
disorder in the parks they
should be punished and it is
in poor taste, to say the least, for
Park Commissioner Gross to take
their part publicly against the officer
who was doing no more than ful
filling his oath of office when he ar
, rpsted them. Particularly is the
commissioner to be censured for
using his influence in behalf of per
sons charged with interfering with
open air religious meetings.
This is not the first time the park
commissioner has stepped between
his officers and persons brought into
court for breaking park rules. There
have been other Instances and he
will have opportunity for more,
doubtless, for his conduct is calcu
lated both to encourage disorder and
to discourage the park officers in the
performance of their duties. ,
The parks should be at all tlaifeS
safe for those who desire to use
them. They should be free from
rowdyism. Violations of the park
rules should be punished.- Police
men should be backed up by those
In authority over them. To do other
wise is to wink at lawlessness. If
Mr. Gross hopes to win votes by
adopting any other course he should
think at the same time of the large
number of good people his inexcus
able conduct offends.
COAL PRICES
WASHINGTON dispatches are 1
to the effect that radical re
visions in coal prices may be
expected before the end of the week,
by government order. It is to be
hoped that they will be more effec
tive than those which got consumers
"all het up" a few weeks ago and
resulted in nothing. Likewise, price
revision should not be confined to
soft coal alone. Coke and hard coal
—hard coal in particular, should be
Included. Prices for anthracite are
reaching a point where coal is a
luxury instead of a necessity in many
households. Widespread hardship
will result the coming winter if pres
ent almost prohibitive prices are
maintained.
THE PROPER COURSE
PRESIDENT WILSON,' so far
from being annoyed by the Ger
man criticism of his neutral
embargoes, should be highly grati
fied thereby. Judging from the ear
piercing shrieks that are being emit
ted by the Prussian press, the Pres
ident by limiting the amount of
foodstuffs that Ifiay be exported to
neutral nations has hit Germany
In a tender spot. The more the im
perial government and its agents
complain the more effective we may
Judge the blockade to be* The sud
den and unwonted solicitude Ger
many Is displaying for these "injur
ed neutrals" in a less tragic connec
tion would be laughable.
WILD STORIES DENIED
THERE is more than a mead of
comfort for Americans in the
French report of casualties
since the war began, and particu
larly encouraging at this time are
the figures of losses for the final six
month of 1916, the last six month
period for which statistics have been
completed. With American! in
Prance and more going. It is grati
fying to learn that the killed,
wounded and missing during the In
terval named averaged less than two
in every hundred of the total mo
bilized strength.
These figures are accurate. They
are from the official records' of
France. They are an unrefutable de
ntal of the wild stories of terrible
French losses, of France "bled
white" and "slowly dying" on the
field of battle. But more than that
they are an assurance that American
boys sent to the trenches of Franc®
are not going there to be butchered
by companies and regiments, wiped
out wholesale by German frightful
ness.
France and England sufferol ter
ribly at the opening of tlto war.
That was because their soldiers had
not learned how to take care of
themselves and also because In those
early days the allied defensive was
4flolent, and in many cases the only
THURSDAY EVENING,
way of meeting the Germans in their
attacks was by sticking to the ditch
and dying.
All that has been changed, we are
told, so that now the French are
able to inflict a maximum of dam
age to the foe with a minimum of
loss to themselves. This does not
mean that Americans who are go
ing to France may expect a delight
ful outing in a pleasant land. Far
from it. Many of them must suffer
and others of them must die, more's
the pity. But it does mean that the
wild tales of slaughter and certain
death have been greatly exaggerat
ed and that by far the larger num
ber of young men who will fight
America's battles in France will re
turn unscathed, better men for their
experience.
THE FOOD BILL
THE food bill will be a law be
fore the end of the week. As it
passed Congress it contains
practically nothing that the
President does not want and every
thing for which he asked, including
regulation of food, feed, fuel and
many other lines having to do with
food and food production, even to
one-man administration.
Probably a careful analysis of the
measure may bring out points of
doubtful worth, but even so It Is
well that the bill went through in
its present form, if for no other rea
son than because President Wilson
is now armed with a weapon fash
ioned after his own model and pre
cisely the Instrument he desired to
solve war price problems. If it does
not meet requirements the fault will
be his and his alone. He is con
fronted with a gigantic task and
tremendous difficulties. He believes
he knows how to meet them. Con
gress has agreed to let him mal
his fight in his own way, p.nd free
from Congressional interference he
will be held strictly accountable for
the administration of the new law.
If the food control act does all
that It is designed to do, and loyal
Americans hope that it will, credit
will go to the President and to Mr.
Hoover, who had, perhaps, as much
to do with framing it as the Presi
dent, and if it fails, even in part,
there will be no possibility of divided
responsibility.
WHY WRIGHT QUIT
WHY Chester M. Wright, promi
nent in Socialistic circles of
the world and until his resig
nation recently managing editor of
the New York Call, left the Socialist
party is set forth very clearly and
interestingly In an Interview pub
lished In another part of the TELE
GRAPH to-day. Men of Socialistic
tendencies should read It. Wright
is not alone. Many other deep think
ers and sincere Socialists have left
the party for the same reasons
Wright quit.
Mr. Wright sums up his reasons
for resigning his position as editor
and leaving, the party in a single
emphatic paragraph, as follows:
1 am out of the Socialist party
because 1 am an enemy ot tile
cause that party has espoused;
and because that party has be
come an enemy of human free
dom in the hour of freedom's
greatest need. It doesn't matter
what motives the party may have
had in taking its anti-American,
anti-democratic position, it is the
hideous fact that counts. The
Socialist party in America is
feeding now in its last days upon
the rotten Teutonic fester on our
body politic, as gruesome a sight
as American political history has
ever afforded.
Mr. Wright is in a position to
know. He was editor of the organ
of the Socialists in America. He 1
accepted that place because his con
science prompted him to do so. He
quit his Job because his conscience
world not permit him to remain.
If a trusted leader of the Socialist
party leaves, a high-salaried position
because he feels that his party is
being misled and is in bad hands,
isn't it about time that Socialists all
over the country, many of them Just
as sincere and Just as patriotic as
Wright, Investigate their party lead
ership and find where they are head
ing?
It used to be "peace at any price"
in America; now it is "peace at our
price."
OFFICIOUS MR. HUMES
THE officious Lowery Humes,
United States District Attorney,
gives notice that he will prose
cute all persons wearing the uniform
of the United States Army or "any
distinctive part thereof." We sup
pose Mr. Humes knows that the Boy
Scouts of America wear some "dis
tinctive parts" of the United States
Army uniform. Docs he mean to
Include them in the wholesale ar
rests he Is contemplating or Is he
aware that the Scouts have Congres
sional permission for the privilege
they exercise? It is all very well to
protect the uniform of the Army.
It is honorable and it should be
barred from general use, but when
Mr. Humes gives out interviews he
might at least confine himself to the
points at issue and give the public
some evidence that his qualifications
for the Job he holds are more than
political. Boy Scouts need not
worry. Congress has put it past
the powers of the Mr. Humes of the
country to interfere with them.
7>ollUc* uv
"PwtKOiftauiZa
By (he Ex-Commltteeninn
Early announcement of the can
didacy of Senator William C. Sproul,
of Delaware, for the Republican
nomination for Governor, is pre
dicted by Philadelphia newspapers.
The Philadelphia Evening Bulletin
last evening declared in a first page
article that the Senator "is a can-
and said that'he would be
gin his campaign immediately alter
the November election. Philadel
phia morning newspapers follow Ihe
same line.
The chief thing emphasized in
the Sproul candidacy stories is that
it will prevent a factional fight be
tweenl the forces headed by Sen
ators Penrose and McNichol and
those aligned with the Vares. The
Bulletin says in this connection:
"Senator Sprout's candidacy, Re
publican leaders concede, precludes
a State-wide contest between the
Brumbaugh-Vare and Penrose fac
tions next year, as it Is realized that
Senator Sproul would not be a can
didate for Governor without the
voluntary and earnest support of
Senator Penrose with whom he has
long been politically affiliated."
—While the Philadelphia North
American, which has persistently
criticised the Senator and attacked
Speaker Baldwin, who was SproulV
choice for speaker, is silent on the
story to-day and the Democratic
Philadelphia Record passes it up bs
cause it means peace, the Philadel
phia Ledger says that It means
"harmony" and that it eliminates
Lieutenant Governor Frank B. Mc-
Laln. Pittsburgh newspapers print
the story with more or les3 sense
of relief apparent.
—The Philadelphia Inquirer gives
it extended space, saying in part:
"Following up their confident
predictions at the close of the
recent session of the legislators
that State Senator William C.
Sproul, of Delaware county, will
be the next Governor of Penn
sylvania, intimate friends of
Senator Sproul yesterday state 1
with apparent authority that he
will formally announce his can
didacy for the Republican nomi
nation immediately following
the November election. Sen
ator Sproul when interviewed
last night indicated that he had
no statement to make at this
time, but there is reason to be
lieve that unless he shall
change his mind he will be
actively in the field within three
months. The nomination and
election of a successor to Gover
nor Brumbaugh takes place next
year, the next Governor being
inaugurated ill January, 1919.
Unless there shall be unexpected
changes in the situation Sen
ator Sproul's nomination now
seems quite probable. He not
only has the backing of the rep
resentatives of the large manu
facturing industries of the State
as well as the big business in
terests, but he has also the good
will of the leaders of both fac
tions of the Republican Party.
While he has supported Senator
Penrose in many political con
tests, he has maintained friendly
relations with some of the most
potential anti-Penrose Republi
can partisans."
The Inquirer then goes on to
say;
"Quick changes come in State and
local politics. There are several
well-known Republicans who are
watching developments and who, if
the condition shall warrant, will
jump into a free-for-all contest for
the Governorship. But a great
transition must take place to have
that occur. If the talk of harmony
upon the local Republican tlckat
shall result in a reality, as it seems
that it will, the boom for Sproul for
Governor will have made great
headway. A factional fight in Phil
adelphia coupled with disturbed
political conditions in Pitstburgh,
might lead to complications which
would make the Gubernatorial
sweepstakes anybody's race."
—According to Philadelphia
newspapers the United States gov
ernment may take a hand in the
vice situation in that city.
—"Throwing aside all pretense of
observing the primary law the
Democratic bosses of Lackawanna
county decided to steam roller any
man who stands in the way of the
'right kind of a ticket," " says the
Scranton Republican. "There was
three hours of talk and oratory in
Liberty Hall while the candidates
presented their reasons for desiring
to be candidates. It was evident
from these speeches that the steam
roller will meet with stiff opposi
tion when it starts to bowl out the
men who believe they have the
right to submit their claims to a
nomination to the voters of then
party."
—One of the largest voluntary po
litical organizations ever gotten to
gether in Allegheny county is be
ing formed in behalf of Thomas D.
Carnahan, Josiah Cohen, Thomas J.
Ford, John D. Shafer and Joseph
M. Swearlngen, Common Pleas Court
judges whose terms expire this year
and who are candidates to succeed
themselves. This organization is be
ing formed by legislative districts
and will embrace the entire country.
It is expected that at least 5,000
citizens of Allegheny county will
have joined the committee when
the organization work has been
completed. At the beginning of the
present judges' campaign for re
election a central committer waa
formed consisting of Walter X,yon,
chairman; George J. Kambach, sec
retary, and Roy G. Bostwiok, treas
urer.
—The time for filing nominating
petitions for judicial candidates will
expire at the Department of tho
Secretary of the Commonwealth to
morrow night at the close of busi
ness hours. It is expected that
there will not be as much of a rush
as usual to file eleventh hour peti
tions, as many have been entered to
day. Among the petitions filed to
day was one for Senator Chains H.
Kline, Pittsburgh, former president
pro tem. of the Senate, for juuge of
Common Pleas Court In that county.
—Endorsement of Magistrate Wil
liam J. Tracy, as a candidate for re
election at the coming fall election
was given at Philadelphia by Mayor
Smith. A delegation of members
of the Building Trades' Council call
ed upon the Mayor, and asked him
to endorse Tracy, who formerly was
prominent in that organh lon. Mr.
Srtilth acquiesced, saying that he
was familiar with the magistrate's
work and approved it. Tracy is a
political follower of State Senator
James P. McNicliol.
HARRISBURG &£££& TELEGRAPH
OH, MAN! By Briggs
OH JOE! j
V AV FOU LOOK \RX
FLK • Xd FUNNJY
" K '''' V ''' OF COURSE FRM'MO WH F
V( AD TO HAPPCNJ ALONG
AR THAT MOMEMT
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YOU J)1J LOOK 50 I I MY— | FUMMV V? NEXT E\J6KJKVJC> R \
COMICAL - EXOJI* \X 0 ° N I^ R SAVM AMYTH.KJO AT TH6 VCLUQ PFTV TOER '\
MP FOR J *((/ I SO CIOMLORTL IT WPVS SLAPLV \ JORFR" JOE.!
LAU6HLFTJ6 V V sxGs INDESCRIBABLE /-* \, IHAT'S
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WAS R 1 ,L C^ P L LUCK /
First! I
First now as always In the na
tional defense, Pennsylvania leads
all the states In army recruiting since
war was declared. The total Is more
than 20,000 enlistments. This means
men accepted.
Commenting on this fact, the New
York Herald says:
"The Pennsylvanlans of German
descent whose ancestors came to
America beiorc the Revolution and
whose blooil flows in the veins of
millions of Americans are the ones
who by long residence and proved
loyalty have the right to speak for
the real Americans of German
descent."
When the pot boils there is scum.
It rises to the surface, but the vital
elements of the fluid are in the body
of It. Some of the best Americans
are of German descent. The worst
Americans are aliens who have en
joyed our institutions, waxed fat in
our land, become legal citizens and
then have dropped the veneer of our
civilization and spend their days and
nights planning this nation's destruc
tion.
Men who have felt the thrill of
Americanism since childhood need
no second call to arms when the na
tion is in peril. Some of the best
blood of Germany fled the country
years ago and is now part and par
cel of our great democratic experi
ment. It is a pity that these thou
sands of loyal Americans should be
humiliated by the Infamous activi
ties of German agents who pretend
to be the mouthpieces of cit'zens
who, in fact, abhor and <: tn-iise
them. Evening Ledger, Pk -aci
phia.
Fine, Mr. Gompers
Samuel Gompers has been regarded
by many of his own class as merely
an ambitious labor politician, and
the general public has often had
occasion to look at him askance.
But, like the trusts and the big cor
porations, he has shown up better
under the tests of war than of peace.
In those whom the President has
gathered around him as advisers and
helpers In Washington the industrial
extremes have met in a union of
whole-hearted patriotism and sacri
fice, and the representatives of
American capital are standing shoul
der to shoulder.
Mr. Gompers has Just performed
a signal service in the cablegram
which he sent in reply to inquiries
from W. A. Appleton, secretary of
the English General Federation of
Trade Unions, and M. Jouhaux, sec
retary of the French Federatlon-
Generale du Travail, asking whether
American labor would be represented
at the International conference at
Stockholm in September. In his re
ply Mr. Gompers says flatly: "I an
swer that such a conference cannot
at this time or in the near future
be productive of good, and as far as
the American Federation of Labor Is
concerned It will not send repre
sentatives. Ntw and more favorable
results must develop before a con
ference of labor of all countries can
advantageously be held."
The importance of this action Is
shown by tho fact that the labor
representative in the British cabinet,
Arthur Henderson, has recently been
in Paris in consultation with French
Socialists and workmen as to the
Stockholm conference, and his atti
tude had caused decided disquietude
in Great Britain. He had apparently
counted on the American Federation
of Labor being represented at Stock
holm. and if Mr. Gompers had fol
lowed Mr. Henderson's lead a sit
uation might have been created that
might have promoted the sort of
peace for which Germany Is play
ing. The London Morning Post ap
praises the significance and value of
this incident properly when it says:
"Once again the Allies, and par
ticularly the government of this coun
try, have to thank America for Its
timely lead. While our ministers are
faltering with pacifism the leader of
American labor puts his foot down
much In the manner of our own Sea
men's and Firemen's Union a short
while ago. Yesterday Bonar Law
went so far as to hint vaguely that
the government might, after all, re
fuse passports for the Stockholm
conference. Can thip suggestion of
new courage be an effect already of
Gomperian forcefulness?"
Mr. Gompers has done a fine and
a wise thing, and he has stiffened the
British backbone. There Is no mu
tuality of interest between honest
labor and Prusslanlsm, and American
patriotism cannot work in harmony
with German imperialism. Balti
more Sun.
In Alaska, Too
This year, more than any other In
the past three years, the mosquito has
proved a most harassing little winged
devil. The Anchorage (Alaska)
Democrat.
THE ECONOMIC BENEFIT OF
SAVING BREAD IN WAR TIME
Not the Use of Wheat Alone, But of All Cereals, Must Be
Closely Regulated to Produce the Best Effect
ACCORDING to press dispatches,
liotelmen in Boston "have voted
to discontinue the service of
" white bread for a week, as a
means of saving flour and encourag
ing the use of corn, rye and other
breads." This example, it is added,
is being followed in other places.
Without entering into the countless
details of food economy in hotels and
restaurants, It may be pointed out
that amid all the calculations and
difficulties of the problem the public
is In danger f losing sight of the
principal or moral of the whole story.
Not economy of wheat or white
bread only is necessary, but of al
other cereals. The experience of Eng
land during the last month Is definite
on this point. One of the most prac
tical of experts, Captain Bathurst.
believes that cereals like rye and corn
count as much or more than wheat
at this stage of the European con
flict. The only important qualifica
tion Is that rye and corn breads
require more skillful baking than
white bread. But In regard to the
saving of bread, the poor man's meat,
for It is protein in the cheapest form,
the problem In wartime may be stat
ed briefly on the facts of trie British
experience since the new food con
troller was appointed.
In pre-war times the consumption
of bread was 5V4 to 6 pounds a week
per capita. The controller's allow
ance of four pounds represents a re
duction of nearly twenty-five per
cent. Physiology teaches that a fur
ther reduction In the national bread
consumption is serious and even dan
gerous. The authorities will have to
strain every nerve to insure that the
bread supply, including all cereals.
Is kept up to three-fourtha of its
pre-war value. If the allowance of
four pounds is taken to represent the
distribution figure for the whole
mixed population—men, women and
children, workers and nonwnrkers
it may be conceded that It Is physio
logically correct and that it will suf
fice to keep up the manpower of the
nation; that Is to say, that the popu
lation as a whole will not sufTer. But
an Important exception must be made.
To limit the worker to a four-pound
bread ration must imperil his value.
The German experience, which is
Just published In the leading scien
tific journals of the empire, proves
that such a ration of bread leads to
a slow deterioration of the race. Pome
time may elapse before this is noticed,
and the risk is one which the Ger
mans, after studving <he value of
this ration in 8,000 selected families,
are now trying to avoid. According
to these results, it Is much safer to
reduce the ration of meat than the
ration of cereals and breadstuffs,
Bread, in which all cereals as food are
Included, Is the worker's food, which
nothing can replace.
The economy of bread Is necessary
by workers and nonworkers alike. It
is imperative on all the sedentary
classes to get as far below the four
nound bread ration ns possible. As
bread in this sense Implies nil cereals.
It Is pis In that the consumption of
cereals other than wheat, by those
who can do without them Is no
true economy. The weakness in
the hotel position Is that the serving
Labor Notes
A recreation hut for the use of
women munltionworkers has been
opened at Plumstead, Eng., by the
Y. M. C. A. at a cost of fIOOO.
Officers of the International Union
of Painters and Paperhangers report
that their membership riVw is 90,857,
an increase since May of 1,793.
Ealing Town Coupell, London, Eng
land, is to buy 1,000 tons of coal for
sale to residents during the winter
months.
With the aid of an electrical fur
nace, a London scientist has drawn
glass tubes with an outside diameter
of but .00004 of an Inch.
Nearly two thousand permits have
been granted to children between
twelvj and thirteen years of age to
work on the land In Northampton
shire, England.
"A Modest Minimum Wage" Is the
latest contribution to social science,
now being used in arbitration courts
in the Commonwealth of South Aus
tralia.
Canton, Ohio, trade unionists charge
employers with maintaining a black
list in that city as part of a scheme
to wreck the building trades council.
The third annual convention of the
Central States Co-operative Society
will be held In Staunton, 111., begin
ning Monday, September 10.
I Outdoor city mployes of Nan&lmo,
or not serving of wheat bread is not
a saving of cereals, unless a bread
Is set up in their place. The sug
gestion that rye and other cereals
should be eaten instead of wheat may
defeat its own purpose, for these ce
reals and wheat too are the elements
of the different war breads, and the
nations have got to get or make the
best they can out of the somewhat
Insufficient common stock of these
nutritious grains.
Practical ways of saving bread are
described by Captain Bathurst and
other European authorities. First,
there is the present war bread in
England. The loaf consists of wheat
flour, bran and other flours, the miller
having a considerable choice. Thus
there is flour containing eighty-one
fer cent of the grain, with husk, and
0 per cent of barley, i.ialze, rice, oats
and corn flour. Sometimes the addi
tion of starch flour Is allowed. Com
plaint is made that this war bread Is
unwholesome and Indigestible when
prepared according to the government
regulations. This fact has led the
Ministry of Food Control to appoint
a committee to inquire into the mat
ter.
The experience of Great Britain,
therefore, teaches that the public, and
especially the worKers, must have a
good and palatable bread. Bread ill
prepared and baked is wasted, and It
does not prove sufficiently nourishing.
Hence experts are coming to the con
clusion that economy in bread Is at
tained in other ways. Thev recom
mend first of all that the bread of
the richer and more sedentary classes
be toasted. The saving brought about
is twofold. Less bread is eaten, and
It is better masticated and therefore
more satisfying. For breakfast the
allowance advised is two ounces of
bread, with the same quantity at
luncheon and dinner. This makes a
slice four Inches long, two inches
wide and one and one-half Inches
thick. Thus no one would consume
more than six ounces of bread a day
or two and three-eights pounds a
week, leaving a margin of five
eighths of a nound of bread or its
equivalent in flour for puddings and
piecrust, the total even then being
exactly half what the worker or sol- j
dier needs.
Authorities think this a practical
method of saving cereals and It leaves
the consumer a choice, whether it is
white, brown or any other kind of
bread. The point Is that grain must
be economized, since the Import and
the export have their difficulties, and!
the harvest Is always an uncertain
factor.
The consumption of bread at hotels,
clubs and restaurants has also been |
considered. Exports agree that it is
excessive and must be curtailed, and
the readiest way of doing this would
be by Riving up afternoon tea and
the serving of bread in the present
almost unlimited amount. The nuan
tlty of bread, butter, cakes and other
preparations of flour, butter and suirAr
consumed and often wasted in this :
way must be something prodigious.!
Managers of hotels should not lose
sight of the main point, the saving of
cereals. Spasmodic attempts to econ
omize white (lour and bread will sure
ly miss the mark.
PAUL BARTHOLOW. M. D.
B. C., Canada, have petitioned the
council for a 10 per cent. Increase In
wages and stopping of work at 1
p. m. on Saturday with a full day's
pay.
A grant of $5,000,000 has been made
by the British government toward the
establishment of a permanent Depart
ment of Scientific and Industrial Re
search.
Clothing for workmen fastened to
gether with clips Instead of seams has
been invented so that a wearer can
liberate himself when caught by ma
chinery.
A feature of the present London
(England) Economy Exhibition is a
model munition-works canteen In
which between 400 and 500 people are
served with a hot meal In ten minutes.
Japanese railways employ 4,000
women.
*" 11 H.
PROSPERITY lU'LLKTIX
NO. 40
We believe that there will be
greater prosperity during the bal
ance of this year than we have
ever enjoyed and we believe that
every manufacturer will get his
share. . . . We Intend doing as
much advertising In newspapers
as we have done heretofore.
A. A. BREUER, Vice-Presi
dent, Clements Mfg. Co.,
Chicago. ....
AUGUST 9, l<fl7.
By Way of Variety
I came down to-day at 8:30 a. m„
After a cooling dip In Erie,
And I was satisfied, and contented.
And happs-, ar.d all that,
And when X reached the office
The elevator man said:
• "Is it hot enough for you?"
And I told him I hadn't noticed It,
And hurried on;
And when I walked into the office,
Kdna Murphy, who presides
Over the destiny of the telephone
booth and girls—
That Is, the unmarried ones—
Girls, not telephones—
She smiled at me and said:
"Gee; How hot it is!"
And then I started to notice that
It was sort o' warm.
And a little later I went into the
morgue,
Where they keep everything but the
one you're looking for.
And Mrs. Lee, she says:
"I'm nearly dead with the heat!"
And she looked It;
And right away a hot, clammy mois
ture broke out on my noble
brow.
And X took a drink of ice water.
And then by and by
Scotty, the demon cartoonist.
Came into the coop,
And grunted about hot weather.
And took off his collar.
And drank ice water.
And worried about the heat.
And I had to put ice on my head
For fear I'd have a sunstroke.
And all the afternoon
Different people
Came in to see me,
And tell me how hot it was,
And I kept suffering and suffering,
until a Turkish bath
Would have been as welcome as tho
north pole.
And to-night
I got nettle rash.
And prickly heat,
And sunburn, and chaflngs,
And strawberry rash, and hlvea.
And I'm durned sure
I'll wake up to-morrow
With the shingles.
Durn the person who sez:
"Is it iiot enough for you?"
Especially when it is.
IIARLOWE HOYT,
In The Cleveland Leader.
OUR DAILY LAUGH
THE WAT.
"How did the owl get a reputation
for wisdom?"
"By persistently hooting at every
thing, I take It."
WAR IS EVERYWHERE.
'As impetuous youths mailed for
battle
They meet 'neath my v window
each night.
They mix with loud screams and
much prattle,
As they buck, and they ecratoh,
and they bite."
NOT FINANCIAU
Young Reggy seems to be pretty
ell satisfied -with himself.
Oh, well, Rcggy -was never very
elect In his tastes.
[Etorrtng (Ktjat
Two disconsolate bass fishermen
of Harrisburg are E. D. Hilleary,
division freight agent for the Read
ing at this point, and George W.
Reinoehl, division manager for the
Bell Telephone Company In this dis
trict. Both have been watching the
streams hungrily this summer,
waiting for the rains to let up long
enough to clear the waters sufficient"
ly to make bass fishing good. In
desperation Hilleary to-day packed
his rods and hied himself away to
the preserves of the Union water
works. near Lebanon. "It's been so
long since I've seen a bass that I
don't believe I'd know one from a
sunflsh,' he said, "and it's been so
long since I caught a fish that if I A
should get half a dozen sunlish I'd m
carry 'eni on a string all the way
home." Relnoehl's favorite haunt is
Tuscarora creek and some of hl*>
friends say that the sugar-cured ha#,
they serve at the farmhouses u}>
there Is almost as attractive as the
bass, although every time ho goes ht>
cornea back with some big fellows.
Another ardent Harrisburg fisher
man is "Bob" Lyons, the coffee man.
Lyons leaves for Atlantic City this
week where he will engage in surf
fishing, at which he is an adept, for
the next two weeks. Lyons has more
fishing tackle of every kind than any
man in Harrisburg. He has a whole
room full of it. From the time the
trout season opens until the last
strike of the black bass In the Fall,
there are few weeks that do not
nnd Lyons along one of the rivers or
creeks in this vicinity when he
can t get to the seashore. During the
winter season he occupies his time
making rods and some of the finest
in his collection he has turned out
himself. He is an authority on all
kinds of artificial bait for bass and
all over the United States when bait
makers turn out something new in
"plugs" or tackle they send Lyons
one for sample. He has more vicious
looking lures than any man In town
and he knows how to use them so
well that he seldom, if ever, returns
from a fishing trip empty handed.
Strange to say he cares little or
nothing for fish as a diet, which is
highly pleasing to his many friends.
About the Union station In this
city there are scattered signs which
read:
SPITTING IS
UNLAWFUL
The other day one of the janitors
in cleaning up found that some wag
had chalked over a part of one of
the placards making it rea :
SPITTING IS
AWFUL
* •
The i North American's fishing
page of last Sunday contains lengthy
reference to the success Edson J.
Hockenbury, the well-known Harris
burg Y / M. C. A. campaigner, is hav
ing at Wlldwood Crest, where he is
spending the summer with his fam
ily. Hockenbury has caught threo
large channel bass of the kind pic
tured by the TELEGRAPH some
weeks ago, and has taken any num
ber of shark and other fish. He will
remain at the shore until Labor
Day.
• * •
William N. Trinkle, former deputy
attorney general and now located
here as a member of the law firm of
Trinkle & Jones, has received a
number of messages congratulating
him upon the close of the full crew
cases In which he took a prominent
part. Mr. Trinkle was deputy under
John C. Bell, when attorney gen
eral, and with James Scarlet made
the fight to maintain the full crew
law of 1911. He was pitted against
John G. Johnson and other legal
luminaries and has been In every
stage of the fight over the law since.
W. Orvllle Hlckok, 3d, athlete,
motorist, manufacturer and lover of
outdoor life, likewise sergeant in the
Harrisburg Reserves, is getting to be
as proficient with the rifle as he Is
with the shotgun. For years Mr.
Hickok has been banging away at
the gun clubs about this city when
the hunting season was not on. Ho
has been making some pretty flno
records at It and he had a real
old-fashioned match the other day
with Fred Godcharlcs, Deputy Sec
retary of the Commonwealth, who is
as keen on trap shooting as he Is
on philately and the history of the
upper Susuuelianna valley. The next
day Mr. Hickok went over to the
creek range of the Harrisburg Rifle
Club, where ho tried out his rifle and
made one of the best scores for the
range.
* # *
Roger Dover, Wilkes-Barre lawyer
and prominent In labor affairs, was
here yesterday looking up compen
sation cases. Mr. Dever says that
the miners will ask considerable
changes in the compensation laws
again at the next session of the Leg
islature.
f WELL KNOWN PEOPLE"
—Col. W. J. Crookston, • chief
medical officer of the Pennsylvania
troops, is on active duty after hav
ing been observing the war in
Europe and studying troops at the
border.
—State Chairman William E.
Crow is spending August on his
farm In Fayette county and letting
politics take care of itself.
—Deputy Attorney General W. H.
Keller is home from a vacation trip
to Saranac Lake.
—Senator Horace W. Schantz, of
Allentown, Is planning to have the
biggest Republican rally in years
when the Lehigh campaign opens.
He is that county's first Republican
Senator.
—H. E. Apgar, who was secretary
to Congressman John R. Farr, has
developed aspirations for council In
Scranton.
—Commissioner James Alcorn Is
spending August at Eaglesmere.
| DO YOU KNOW
That llarrisburg's fame has
gone all over the country for Its
activity In recruiting.
HISTORIC HARRISBURG
Harrisburg had its first gas light
lng in JBSO and people drove in
from surrounding towns to see how
It looked on the streets.
Fighting Weight
Surgeon General Gorgas has dono
well to secure a revision of the army
standards of height and weight for
recruits, thereby giving smaller men, (
chock full of fighting spirit, the
chance for which they pine. The
"bantams," 5 feet 1 Inch in altltudo
and tipping the scales at 110 pounds,
whom the specifications now reach
down to include, often prove to be/
the stuff of which the happy war
rior is made when the son of Anak,
a prodigy of bulk and muscle, quails
at the fiery ordeal he must face.
Grant and Napoleon were not giants,
and Joffre's shadow on history's page
is much longer than the hero of the
Marne himself. Let the little men
now come forward and take the
places big men decline to fill.—Phil
adelphia Ledger,