Harrisburg telegraph. (Harrisburg, Pa.) 1879-1948, June 16, 1917, Page 6, Image 6

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

    6
HARRISBURG TELEGRAPH
A XEIiSPAPER FOR THE HOME
FiMndtd itjl
Published evenisgs except Sunday by
THE TELEGRAPH PRINTING CO.,
Telegraph Building, Federal Sqaare.
E. J. STACK POLE, Prts't tr Editar-in-Chitf
F. R. OYSTER, Business Manager.
GUS M. STEINMETZ, Managing Editor.
yl American
} n E st Bte . r B ofniv ;
Oas ButlJtng.
■ Chicago, 111.
Entered at the l'ost Office in Harris
burg, Pa., a& s 'cond class matter.
By carriers, ten cents a
'•VPJtgiSSis5U> \/eek; by mall. tb. oo
a year in advance.
SATURDAY EVENING, JUNE 16
And ye shall know the truth, and i
the truth shall make you free. —JOHN I
8:32.
HOE: HOE: HOE:
NOW are the days when the lit
tle tardens all over the land
are hanging in the balance.
Their fate depends upon the skill
of their owners in trench warfare.
Get your plants out of the trenches
arid fortify them in hills. Hoe! Hoe!
Hoe! That is the answer. Almost
every crop of vegetables can be ma
terially increased by hoeing. In
deed, most vegetables will fail un
less they are lioed regularly and
vigorously.
TIP TO THE KAISER
AND now come the German news
papers with stories denying that
the Kaiser owns immense cattle
ranches in America. It had been
said these investments were so profit
able that Wilhelm delayed making
nar on America lest he lose his divi
dends and po&sibly bis property. If
the Kaiser has any loose change cry
in.c for investment, we can give him
a friendly tip as to the best invest
ment in the world —even better than
American cattle ranches, high as is
the price of sirloin steak. Buy Lib
erty bonds.
The only difference between Har
risburg and other cities of the coun
try is that Harrisburg got Its Liberty
Loan oversubscribed first.
MONSIEUR'S SOCK
FRENCH willingness to expend in
this country all the money
which we loan to that govern
ment is entirely consistent. For years
France lias been the banker for much
of the world.
Out of the woolen stocking, the
bas dc laine, of the thrifty French
peasant have come the millions of;
francs which have been loaned to!
nearly every nation, most of them |
with the distinct stipulation that a
large part, if not all, of the money
should be spent in France.
To these expenditures France owes
the splendid development of her
great gun shops, like the Schneider
establishment—for these loans were
chiefly, as France herself Is now bor
rowing from us, for war purposes.
The Government has issued in
structions as to how to make straw
berry jelly. But who wants to com
mit a crime like that?
WAR SHOWS UP SOCIALISM
J i'HN SPARGO, the most high
minded of American Socip"sts,
has iiuit the party becaut he
finds it now entirely pro-Germa. in
lis attitude. He remains a **-' list,
Intellectually speaking, Lu. ur prac,
tlcal purposes he will have none of It.
Socialism, in fact, should be noth
ing more than an intellectual diver
sion, anyway. Reasoning upon the
aims of socialism, like reasoning
tipon the fourth dimension, for In
stance, provides some mental stim
ulus- —but it can never be usefully ap
plied. There are too many practical
obstables in the way.
One good result of the war, so
far as this country is concerned,
will be that socialistic schemes will
be looked upon rather askance for
some time to come.
The muddy condition ot the river
has saved the reputation of many bass
fishermen this week.
THANKS TO THE PRESS
THE percentage of opposition to
registration preliminary to the
draft was surprisingly small. It
was hardly larger, in proportion,
than the number of kickers who may
be found in any town when anything
affirmative is proposed.
The support which the press of
the country hae afforded to the con
acriptlon plan from its inception and
the amount of free advertising which
newspapers have given to everything
connected with the movement are the
chief factors—next to the essential
patriotism of the country—in making
the registration successful and un
eventful.
By this alone the press has earned
its exemption from censorship.
GOOD INVESTMENT
PEOPLE who subscribed for Lib
erty Loan bonds will live to see
the day they will thank those
who Induced them to Invest. With
theae securities selling at a premium
in the New York stock exchange be
fore one of them actually has been
delivered augers well for the fu
ture. Liberty Loan bonds are going
SATURDAY EVENING,
i to become at once a certificate of
i patriotism and a splendid invest
| ment.
i THE LIBERTY LOAN
WHEN the old Liberty Bell rang
out its sharp call to duty the
other day it at the same mo-
Kent tolled the requiem of Kaiser
ism in the world.
The success of the Liberty Loan
by a vast oversubscription will be re
ceived with gloom in Berlin. It
spells absolute defeat for Germany.
;It is a guarantee of victory for
America. It means money in unlim
ited quantities for swift prosecution
ot the war. It means the building
of merchant ships more rapidly than
German submarines can sink them,
j It means the construction of a vast
j fleet of U-boat destroyers. It means
j n fleet of aeroplanes over the western
| front as numerous as homing swal
lows at sunset. It means a vast, well
armed, well-supported American
army In France.
But. better than all that, It means
that the great American people have
volunteered to see this war through.
They are back of the President and
back of the army and they will re
main back of them until despotism
shall be spurned beneath the heel of
democracy and the world made a
safe place for free peoples.
The news is that "Washington is
greatly rejoiced." And well it mas
be. If we knew the truth in Berlin
it would be that the imperial govern
ment is much depressed. The em
peror and his fellow plotters for
world dominion have deluded them
selves with the notion that America
would not fight, that our people are
divided, that this is "'Wilson's war,"
and that the public is not back of
the President.* In reply, the great
voice of the American people swells
forth In a chorus that echoes around
the world: "We are with you, Mr.
Wilson, and here aro a few extra
billions as a guarantee of good faith.
When you have spent that, ask for
more."
The first fight for democracy is
over, and honors are with America.
The Liberty Bonds are "scraps of
paper" that the Kaiser will have to
respect whether he wants to or not.
GIBBONS AND AMERICA
THE New York Times discusses
the Immense service Cardinal
Gibbons rendered the nation
when he won his fight against the
Europeanlzing of the Catholic Church
in America. The plan which the
cardinal successfully opposed, after a
long and bitter fight, was to have all
European immigrants maintain their
church connectionsin Europe through
what amounted to branch churches
in this country, that their native
tongues be used in the church and
that their home ties remain un
broken. The cardinal saw that this
would mean disaster to the United
Slates and would bui'.a up a vast
number of what amounted to small
European colonies in this country.
In his protest to this blow at Ameri
canization he said:
Woe to him. my brethren, who
would destroy or impair the
blessed harmony that reigns
among us! Woe to him who
would sow tares of discord in the
fair field of the Church of
America! Woe to him who would
breed dissensions among the lead
ers of Israel by introducing a
spirit of nationalism into the
ramps of th Lord! Brothers we
are and brothers we shall remain. •
"God and our country!" This be
our watchword. Next to love of
God should be love of country.
1-et us glory in the title of Ameri
can citizen. To one country we
owe allegiance, and that country
is America. We must he in har
mony with its political institu
tions. It matters not whether this
is the land of our birth or adop
tion. It is the land of our des
tiny!
With the nation facing such a
crisis as now confronts it It is not
difficult to see in what sore straits
we would have been had our vast
foreign population been divided up
Into sectional, factional and national
units. Cardinal Glbobns robbed the
Kaiser of his power In America when
he killed the Cahensly movement.
BRUSILOFF AS CHTF.F
ONE little item seeped out of
Bussia the other day, obtained
a trifling notice In the news
papers and then dropped from sight.
But it may have more bearing on the
Russian situation than anything
since the deposition of the czar. It
was the announcement that General
Brusiloff has accepted appointment
as commander-in-chief of the Rus
sian armies, after having resigned
his post as sectional commander
when It appeared that Bussia might
yield to a separate peace with Ger
many.
Bruslloff Is the ablest federal In
the Russian service. He It was who
last slimmer well nigh wrecked the
whole Austrian military strength
and executed the greatest drive of
the whole war. More than a million
prisoners and a great quantity of
munitions fell before his terrific
sweep. Bruailoff has everything to
i lose and nothing to gain. He mujt
be pretty well convinced of the gov
ernment's Intention to wage war on
Germany In real earnest or he would
not have reconsidered his resigna
tion and have made himself respon
sible for the success or failure of the
campaign on the East front. This
acceptance of Brusiloff is a most en
couraging sign from the allied view
point.
ot
By the Ex-Committecman
Some final determination about
the legislative program for the last
twp weeks of the session, which is
now expected to end on June 28,
will be reached in Philadelphia over
the week-end. Senator Penrose and
his friends will have a talk on the
situation in the General Assembly
and Governor Brumbaugh and his
friends will decide what to do about
the direct inheritance tax bill, which
is the bone of contention.
The Governor has refused to talk
about the direct tax bill, but his
friends have said very freely that
he objects to the provision giving the
Auditor General the appointments of
attorneys in each county. The Leg
islature has not been liberal with
the Governor on new places and the
plans of the Department of Labor
and Industry for expansion have
been manhandled.
Nothing can be learned as yet as
to the effect the latest difference may
have on the harmony scheme to let
practically all of the Governor's re
cess and new appointees be con
firmed.
—Philadelphia legislation occupies
a peculiar position on the House cal
endar. The Heffernan bill to take
policemen and firemen out of poli
tics was defeated last week and it
is figured out that fourteen men who
have been classed as Penrose sup
porters voted against it. Whether
an effort to reconsider will be made j
next week is problematical. The
Philadelphia small council bill and
the elective school board bill for
Philadelphia and Pittsburgh, both
likely to start fights, are between 225
and 240 on a third-reading list of
300 bills. With the close of the
session in sight many bills are going
to be slaughtered.
—The contending Philadelphia fac
tions referred their differences to a
special committee yesterday at a long
meeting of the Republican city com
mittee. Senator McNichol gave the
committee a very plain talk about
what might happen.
—Ex-City Treasurer Jones and the
York city council are going to fight
out their battles in court.
—District Attorney Slattery, of
Luzerne county, and Mayor Kosek,
of Wilkes-Barre, are having an in
teresting interchange of opinions
about moral conditions in the cap
ital of Luzerne.
—An interesting story is going the
rounds to the effect that Governor
Brumbaugh has been admonishing
some of his officials not to be "sassy"
in their dealings with legislators,
especially at this time. One of the
stories is that W. J. Roney, manager
of the State Insurance Fund, when
asked by Chairman Buckman. of the
Senate appropriation committee, to
prepare an amenndment, told the
Bucks Senator to go to another
clime.
—Butler county has been made 1
"wet" again. The licenses held up
have been granted for the most part. I
—Dr. H. A. Surface, former State I
Zoologist, seems to be amusing him
self again. The doctor does not like ]
some of the Governor's ideas on ag- !
riculture and he thinks the Agricul
tural Department authorities should !
be more active.
—Governor Brumbaugh has writ
ten to Johnstown authorities, accord-!
ing to Johnstown newspaners, giving
hearty support to the proposition
for consolidation of municipalities
in that section.
—According to stories which are
going the rounds members of the l
House are considering sending a j
committee to the Governor to see!
if he would regard it as an affront
to pass over his veto the bill raising
palaries of legislators after this ses
sion from $1,500 to $2,500. The
theory is that the Governor, having
vetoed the measure, may not feel
badly if the lawmakers made provi
sion for the future. The Mitchell
bill episode is the foundation for the
plan. The Governor has not been
heard from.
—Mayor Smith has shortened his
hours in Philadelphia and 3 o'clock
Is the official closing time. This is
stated to bg because of the pressure
on his office force, which has to work
hours after time because of the
many visitors received during the
regular hours.
Nineteen associate judges, the
"side judges" of the rural counties,
will be elected in Pennsylvania this
tall, provided the constitutionality of
the act erecting Clinton county into
a separate district stands. This is
now being tested out in the Dauphin
county court and will probably be
appealed. There are about a score
of counties which have these lay
judges. The judges whose terms ex
pire are: S. W. Bernhelsel, Perry;
Zenas W. Gilson and W. E. Harley,
Juniata; William R. Stigers, Fulton:
Gottlob Rowe and A. K. Diefen
derfer, Union; John S. Hershberger,
Bedford; Charles E. Hauch, Colum
bia; Harry R. Hyde, Eik; Joseph M.
Morgan, Forest: George J. Leßar.
Clarion; R. E. Westlake, Wyoming;
John Siggins, Warren; J. Roller
McCoy, Miffiln; George H. Metzger,
Monroe: G. E. Swartwood, Pike;
James L. Brennan and Martin H.
Schram, Montour; James P. Miller
and Dennis Keefe, Sullivan.
—Governor Martin G.Brumbaugh's
message to the Legislature yesterday
vetoing the Siggins bill, providing
that the State should build roads in
the Cornplanter Indian reservation
in Warren county, was intended as
notice to the legislators that it would
not be worth while to pass any bills
providing for additions to the State
highway system. There are about
flfty-flve bills with this object on the
third reading calendar in the House
and over a score In the Senate roads
committee. The plan is to pass them.
The Governor in his veto of the Sig
gins bill said. "We do not receive for
the Department of Highways from
the Assembly enough funds to im
prove and maintain the excessive
mileage now by law placed under
Slate control. Unless there Is a com
manding reason for It. no roads
should be added to an already over
burdened system. If the people want
good roads, they must lessen the
present mileage or appropriate more
money."
Governor Brumbaugh has exactly
forty-six bills in his hands to be dis
posed of within the next ten days.
The Governor disposed of nine this
week. There are more bills awaiting
HAKRISBURG TELiAiRAPH
"\
The Days of Real Sport. . B v BRIGGS
j
• fil
action now than on any Saturday
since the session began with one ex
ception. During the coming week
many appropriation hills will reach
the Governor, the appropriation com
mittees of the two houses having
practically completed action on the
bills sent to them. Including yes
terday's approvals the Governor has
approved 304 bills and vetoed sixty
flve.
The calendars of both houses for
next week are laden with bills, that
of the House having over 275 on
third reading alone. There are a
large number of Senate bills on the
House list. Next week each branch
will clear up its own bills and there
will be much activity on the part
of committees.
Let Every Man Register
Why not a registration for every
man in the United States? Let Uncle
Sam complete the job of taking
stock of himself.
The recent registration of men
between the ages of 21 and 31 fur
nishes the government with direct,
specific and authentic information as
to its resources In young men. Witlv
out that Uncle Sam would have been
entirely helpless and inefficient in
his war preparations. Now the gov
ernment knows precisely its first
fighting strength.
But wnat or its reserve fighting
force? What of its resources in men,
not only for the second fighting
army, but to serve the country in
every capacity—in war service at
home, in public affairs, and in the
private business of the country?
A day appointed In which every
man in the United States would be
compelled to appear in person and
register; to State his name, age,
business, place of residence and con
dition in life, would give the gov
ernment a complete and itemized
statement of its assets in man
power.
It was absolutely necessary for
Uncle Sam to have this knowledge as
to his fighting force. It is just as
necessary for him to have the In
formation as to the civil life of the
Nation, both for war and for peace.
Not all the available men for war
are between the ages of 21 and 31;
not all the slackers are numbered
among those who merely try to
avoid war. Uncle Sam ought to
know all about everybody—the man
who can fight and the man who can
work. And particularly he ought to
know about the man who could
fight and does not, and the man who
could work and does not. The gov
ernment should know how many de
pendents there are who can neither
fight nor work, and It ought to know
where it could use every able-bodied
man in the country to the best ad
vantage.
Every city and every community
should have the Information that a
general registration would bring out
as a matter, not only of community
service to the Nation, but as a mat
ter of self-protection against the so
cial. civil and military slacker who
expects to live upon the sacrifice
and toil of others.
From every viewpoint the general
registration Is so commendable and
so necessary that one wonders why
it was not done in the beginning.
Why not have full knowledge of the
country's human resources, instead
of having only a partial inventory of
the Nation's asset in men?— Kansas
City Times.
"Slacker"
"Slacker"—the word has an alien
sound.
It comes to us over seas;
Let us translate it to native speech,
To good Americanese.
"Slacker" means "quitter," you know
the breed;
His blood runs yellow—not red;
His backbone is stiff (like the tail of
a fish,
A fish that's been some time
dead.)
A slacker's a "bum" who always
"stalls"
When there's man-sized work to
do:
Who "falls down cold" on every job
And never sees it through.
A slacker's "a tripe," "a lemon," "a
cheese,"
He's all of them rolled In one:
He's a parasite, microbe, incubus —
A "noise" when the work is done.
He's slack in his heart, his soul, his
mind,
And his "feet, are always cold."
He's n "mush," a human Jelly-flsh—
He is selfishness untold.
A slacker's a sneak thief sort of
"yegg"
His heart (?) he has only a gall!
A slacker's a TRAITOR, In language
plain,
The meanest and vilest of all.
—Robert Trotter, in New Castle
News. Mr. Trotter was formerly
a resident of Harrlsburg.
PATRIOTISM BEG
■
THE following are a few extracts
from an editorial under this
heading in Pictorial Review for
July:
"Fanatical patriotism is a pitfall
that American women would do well
to guard against. In the, first six
months of the European war, when
women rushed in, infant mortality
jumped in six months to the high
est rate in years, and a well-known
writer said, 'Unless drastic steps are
taken to remedy this evil, posterity
will have harsh things to say of a
generation that allowed its women
to do men's work to the neglect of
duties which nature and the nation's
Interest called upon them to per
form.
"From such experiences as these
American women can learn valuable
lessons, and they must not be stam
peded by a false sense of patriotism
and shrill cries of impending disas
ter. The first call on woman is for
woman's work, and in doing war
service 3he should neither attempt to
do what men can do better, nor neg
lect the work that none but women
can do. It is for every woman to
realize that she has some definite
national duty to perform, and to
consider, with intelligence and de
liberation. what that duty is.
"Almost simultaneously with the
call to serve came the command to
conserve—a command that every
woman, no matter what her station
or her limitations, can obey. The
problem of the uation'3 food supply
is a vital one, and the woman who
helps to solve it is serving her coun
try well. Women know the cost of
bringing lives Into the world, and
they know the effect of the shortage
of the food supply on the health of
their children, therefore, however
much they may be interested in ter
ritoriality or sovereignty, to them
the economic aspects of the war
loom large. The home, and all that
goes with It. calls for the first and
best attention of our women, and
patriotism may be expressed by the
use of the diet that is best adapted
I to produce healthy Americans."
"Never before, perhaps, in the
historv of the world, has a nation
so definitely recognized its children
as one of its most valued and cher
ished assets. The children of Amer
ican mother need look long for an
i Mistakes of Allies
I The capital mistakes made by the
I Allies are as follows: They believed
I that a friendly agreement with Bul
garia was possible, although that
country was treaty boun<i to Berlin
I and Constantinople long before the
I war. They cherished illusions ,con-
I cerning King Constantino, who,
I above all else, was brother-in-law
of the Kaiser. They organized the
I Dardanelles expedition which should
never have been attempted. Even
| if this operation had been judged
| technically feasible, its futility would
have been apparent if the Allies had
realized—and it was their arch error
not to realize—that the strategic
key to the whole European war
was the Danube. '
The mere occupation by the Allies
of the territory stretching from
; Montenegro through Serbia to Ru-
I mania, would have resolved all the
essential problems of the conflict.
Cut off from the Central Empires,
Bulgaria and Turkey, whose ar
senals were depleted by the Balkan
disturbances- of 1912-1913, would
have found it Impossible to make a
strong stand against the Allies. Tur
key, who had been imprudent
enough to defy them, would have
been obliged to open the straits
within a very short time, for sheer
lack of ammunition to defend them.
This opening of the straits would
have been effected by a strong pres
sure by the Allies on the south of
Hungary. Moreover, by the same
action the Central Empires would
have been barred from re-enforce
ments and supplies from the Orient.
Germany, finding herself cut off on
land in the south as she was block
aded by sea In the north, would
have been obliged to come to terms.
—Andre Cheradame In the Atlantic
Monthly.
Soothing Syrup For Dad
For three successive night the new
and proud father had walked the
floor with the baby. On the fourth
night he became desperate, and on
arriving home from the office un
wrapped a bottle of soothing syrup.
"Oh, James," exclaimed his wife,
when she saw the label, "what did
you buy that for? Don't you know
it is very dangerous to give a child
anything like that?"
"Don't worry," was the husband's
tired reply; "I'm going to take It
myself!—Tit-Bits.
tco, have a definite part in the per
formance of the natiopal task.
Youthful ambition has been stim
ulated, the childish pulse has been
quickened, and a finer, cleaner race
must result. Enlistment of the na
iion's children means enlistment of
the nation's mothers, find no Amer
ican mother need look long for an
opportunity to serve her country.
The nation-needs an army of men to
fight, but it also needs an army of
people to produce food, and the Bo."
Scouts, as well as schoolchildren
everywhere, have risen superbly to
meet the obligation that has besn
placed upon them. Connecticut's atir
rlng war-cry, 'To Arms or the
Farms,' has been taken up In one
State after another and everywhere
the flag Is being planted in the fur
row. A recent report shows that
there are more than 2,000,000 boys
between the ages of fifteen and nine
teen in cities and towns who are not
now engaged In productive work
that is vital to the nation. When
these two millton bovs are mobilize!
and organized a tremendous for™
will be released, the driving power
o' which will be two million moth
ers, the real generals of this army
cf products."
"True patriotism for the Ameri
can woman begins at home and It is
there that the foundations of her
service for her country must be
la".d. But no one doubts that she
will rise to meet any demands that
may be made on her, even though
It te to dig subways ten feet under
the surface of the earth?" as the
women of Berlin are doing. While
cioir.g her duty as she sees It in the
light of to-day, she must hold he. - -
si-lf ready to answer any call, not
foraetting that over and above her
domest!c and professioi.al duties, the
State has a claim upon her for ul
t re< t help should it be needed.
"Nc one could ask more, for whj
can weigh the active sacrifice of the
man who goes to war against the
vaswive one of the woman who sends
i him? And who can compare the su
' preme exaltation and agony of death
in the trenches with the years of
sorrow and loneliness of the woman
back home?
"For the women of America, pa
| triotism begins at home even though
I it may end in the trenches."
Road of Homely Hearts
I have climbed the crags,
• Bleeding. Still
Higher shall I climb
Until .
I can touch heaven with my hand.
Vet if you came and called to me,
"Pleasant Is the highroad.
The road of little things.
The road of homely hearts;
Come, know with me
Its sweet monotony"—
If you should call to me,
I should turn my face from the
heights.
The hills should never know me;
And I should walk contentedly
The road I see below me.
I have climbed the crags,
Bleeding. Still
Higher shall I climb
Until
I can touch heaven with my hand.
—By Mary Carolyn Davies in Pic
torial Review for July.
When School Lets Out
The gladdest path fov any boy
To follow in the spring
When school lets out is Just the road
To Grandma's, wandering
By brushy fence rows on and on
Across the creek and through
Old orchards where the blossoms
tell
Their promises to you.
It calls you like a comrade does.
And leads you where no sound
Is but your own footfall.
And cool wood springs are found.
It climbs up shady slopes to where
The wheat field runs its
To clamber up the rider rail
And then splash back Inside.
It winds on like'a ribbon wound
Through Grandma's tatting, spread
For visitors to come and see
On her old-fashioned bed.
It leads you through brown puddles,
wet
As is the truant's face
Who trudges <Jown the winding way
To visit Grandma's place.
I
And, oh, the fairest place to be
In all this world about
Is Grandma's house a-visittng
In spring when school lets out.
And any boy that knows the road
To Grandma's house, I say.
Or rich or poor, he knows a path
Where Joy walks all the way!
, —Jay B. Xden.
JUNE 16,1917.
Labor Notes
Glasgow, Scotland, has a news
boys' league.
Fifteen thousand Russians from
this country will work on Canadian
farms.
A new Tennessee law provides
bathrooms and lockers for foundry
employes.
A farmers' association has been
formed by the farmers of the coun
ty of Louth, Ireland.
Canada is fostering the invention
of machinery to reduce the labor cost
of Max raising.
An agreement has been arrived at
between the master bankers of East
Cork, Ireland, and their men.
Athlone (Ireland) Town Council
has raised the wages of all the la
borers in its employ.
On June 11 at Cleveland, Ohiq, In
ternational Stereotypers and Electro
typers' Uniop of America will con
vene.
Time and pieceworkers in all the
Eritish shipyards will receive an ad
vance of $1.25 a week.
The greenheart wood from British
Guiana is said to outlast iron or
steel when used under water.
Brantford (Can.) Trades and La
bor Council has decided to form an
independent labor party to enter the
political arena.
•—
1 OUR DAILY LAUGH 1
A NOM DE PLUME.
"So you are an author and wrote
.his book, Mr. Hogg; then why is
:he author's name, Steve Sty?"
"Ob, that's my pen name!"
HIS LITTLE JOKE.
I Bug Joker: Hey, you fellows said
'ou wanted e. drink of water: here's
THE SLACKER.
She: Are you going to enlist?
He: Well I would if I thought I
couldn't sass the examination.
NATURAL ABILITY.
"I saw George do a wonderful and
very difficult spiral in his war-plane
today!"
"Huh, that shouldn't be hard for
one as crooked JM b,"
lEtetttttg
"Whatever you may have heard
about the early frosts having dam
aged the fruit, don't believe it," said
anios E. Lentz, member of the
Pennsylvania Public Safety Commit
tee, who has been keeping aibs on
M h ltloM ,n thls Part of the
state. The trees are loaded. The
conditi treßS ar ® COmin * >nto prime
be thnw and thG ° nly troubl will
creased acreages of 6 "t° W ' th
the like thaf potatoes ' c °m and
getting cherries'tcT'marlcet.
filled''' The" f h " PCarh ,rees eo weU^
rsiiS'v™
ftS X.":: ta
-rasa
ers to increase iT„ ? the farm-
In this county NotwffhV 0 /""•
K? ssu","te M '*,*,
planting® and "S £ p ° ,a '°
wv tho potatoes were P in
'°orto^ra^ e g k c b r a 0 c p K. and thB^
sssirS.®s
has had a hie ft?r? ln . s ? me fi elds
attention is necessary immedlat ®
"corn ke fid" L dpm^ a8 1 i POpu,ar,zed ths
resident of fo deitl ° l "l | e, and now a
Posos putting th°o U " ,f, rket street pro
on the man nl m * k - fed "P un >Pkln
25x4Q lo™ hanL H 006 0f the
beneficent Chamber of° W £ by the
A quarter of hi, , Commerce,
planted. Ws plot ls as yet un.
yesterday 8 by* 'anotV * ft " a,ked
j^-aSSJK&E
the Rev. George Rent, of the Mar®
ket Square Presbyterian Church and
rebuked." m,ron - a nd
ot : SO '" said the first farmer
I *°, ln * t° milk-feed a pumpkin
to f
ii,l t * 1 ' 000 'n prize monev at
select th aBt lL f S lr \ 1 Hm to
then ml *?! Pumpkin, and
, en. some distance between the
I P win sHco th ff bo * lnn, ng Of the stalk.
'LTiJ i " a rurtne r and put the
mUk TW R t TM 1 J lOll1 ® of swe et
H3 shall do everv morn
ami nnnfn Vt n f , V "A tak ® Up the nil,k
result U wm l t . ,nto the Pumpkin. The
= 7 be a Bur P r,s e- I will have
lo B n% Cl r&lF™ n * forty ° r fifty
"Why not stir allspice into the
m i, " a " yo,, ' n need for pie
other y ° Ur crust? " Interrupted the
t , JVif stufT has arouse*
the latent talent of quite a few falrlP
good liars.
• • •
™ e , R ev. Br. M. D. Uchlelter
of' A°JrinnH f the State Department
or Agriculture, leaves to-dav for
Ashevllle. X. C where he will attend
the meetings of the National Council
of the Jr. O. U. A. M.. of which he
is the national chaplain. Dr. Lich
leiter has attended every session of
the National Council since 1897
a m ember of the legislative
committee or an officer.
• ♦ *
T r n H n i or C4 K , d * ar T - Collins, of the
united States army, who has just
been named to the general staff, is a
brother of Emerson Collins, Deputv
Attorney General, and of Herman L.
Collins, of the Philadelphia Public
I-edger. Major Collins was in com
mand at Plattsburg part of last year
and has had a notable career of ser
vice in the army. It is interesting to
note that he was born in the Incom
ing county township adjoining Gen
eral George H. Dodd. the man who
chased \ ilia into the mountains.
Captain Raymond W. Briggs, an
other Pennsylvania officer to go up
the ladder, has a number of friends
here. He is now In France with
Pershing and can be expected to do
something worth while. He is a son
of Prof. J. S. Briggs. of Norristown,
and served in the Philippines, being
in charge of Agulnaldo after the
short lived Insurrection. He was also
stationed for a time at Nagasaki and
was then on the Mexican border.
Captain Briggs accompanied Chair
man W. D. B. Ainey, of the Public
Service Commission, on the latter's
trip across Siberia to Petrograd dur
ing the early days of the war. When
he left Mr. Ainey he went to Bel
gium and traveled all through it
during the German occupation and
was in Antwerp and Brussels after
their capture. He observed the Ger
man army under conditions which
fell to the lot of few men.
• •
People who have been prone to
stroll along the river front in the
evenings have found that it is differ
ent in war time. The alert young
guardsmen at the bridges are very
polite, but you can not get within
sixty feet of the structures on any
condition, and If you stop to admire
the view you are asked to move on.
War and strolling do not fit well
together.
1 WELL KNOWN PEOPLE 1
—W. W. Comfort, the new presi
dent of Haverford, is well known to
a number of Harrisburgers.
Register of Wills William Con
ner, of Pittsburgh, who was her*
this week, is an expert on horses.
—Judge Eugene C. Bonnlwell, head
of the State Firemen's Association
has offered the services of the thou>
sands of men in the organization to
help in the state in any way.
—Dr. A. R. Roblnsoon. of
burgh, is the new head of Westmtn?
ster College.
—Judge Robert W. Irvln, of Wash
ington county, made the address for
Flag Day at TTnlontown.
—General A. J. T,ogan, commander
of the Second Brigade, was her*
yesterday,
1 DO YOU KNOW
That Hnrrlsburg machinery la
| being used In Atlantic shipyards?
HISTORIC HARRISBtTRO
This county raised fourteen com
panies for the War of 111 J,