10
BARRISBURG TELEGRAPH
A NEWSPAPER POR THE HOME
Founded IS3I
Published evenings except Sunday by
THE TELEGRAPH PRINTING CO.,
Telegraph Building, Federal Square.
E. J.STACKPOLE.Frw'I and Editorin-Chift
F. R. OYSTER, Butinjts Manager.
GUB M. STOINMETZ, Managing Editor.
« Member American
Newspaper Pub
lishers' Associa
tion, The Audit
Bureau of Circu
lation and Penn
sylvania AssoclfiV
Eastern office. Has-
Brooks, Fifth Ave
nue Building, New
York City; West
ern office, Has-
Brooks. People'#
Gts Building, Cli'c
Entered at the Post Office in Harris
burg, Pa., as second class matter.
By carriers, six cents a
week; by mall, $3.00
a year in advance.
Sworn (tally nvcrsKr circulation fair the
three month* ending June 30, 1016,
it 22,456
These flgurca are net. All returned,
unsold and damaged copies deducted.
WEDNESDAY EVENING, JUI.Y 5
He that is down needs fear no fall.
He that is low no pride
He that is humble ever shall
Have God to be his guide.
I am content with what I have
Little be it or much
And, Lord, contentment still I crave
Because Thou savest such.
THE RIVEK CARNIVAL
NOW that we have passed the
glorious Fourth, il is time to give
thought to the bif; river carnival
of September. Already a general com
mittee is at work on the program and
the receding river invites the usual
aquatic activities.
It is proposed to make this year's
carnival the greatest ever and to this
end all the young people who are ac
customed to using the river for boat- j
ing are going to be enlisted in the j
arrangements. While these prepa- j
rations are going forward those who
are willing to assist in the carnival
should get inio touch with the Depart- !
ment of Fterks, which will probably
have much to do with the success of
the big event. Already the general
committee has considered the tentative
plana and something definite will be
worked out before this month is over.
Harrlsburg Is most attractive at all
tlinM and this annual river carnival,
■with the decorated flotilla at night, is
bound to bring to the city thousands
of people from all parts of the State.
But there Is much to be done in the
■way of preparation and all should
liave a hand in the work.
It has bean demonstrated since the
mobilization of the National Guard, in
an effort to send the soldiers to the
Mexican border, that the railroad com
panies were telling the truth when they
let it be known some months ago that
business conditions were ham-stringing
the operation of the various lines. In
stead of the necessary equipment it is
now shown that there is a serious lack
of rolling stock for even handling the
troops. What will happen when nor
mal business conditions return may be
only guessed at.
IXIOKIXG AHEAD
NOTWITHSTANDING the demoral
ized conditions in Europe, sev
eral of the belligerent nations
are now planning for a resumption of
trade activities at the close of the war.
Constructive programs have already
been outlined at joint conferences of
the Allies and these contemplate an
Invasion of the South American and
other fields much more extensive than
ever before in the history of commer
cial expansion.
Meanwhile, the United States Cham
ber of Commerce is doing a fine work
in keeping the members of that great
organization posted regardingthe trade
currents and the commercial de
velopmentsthroughout the world. Con
gress is almost certain to respond to
the demands of the situation and the
political stress is likely to have a
wholesome influence upon those Demo
crats in the Senate and House who
have seemed to treat with indifference
the business strain and the appeal? of
manufacturers all over the United
States.
Readjustments are bound to follow
the close of hostilities, and, while the
Mexican difficulty will be annoying;. It j
Is not expected to seriously upset the
normal business conditions. What is !
concerning most employers Is the level- ;
Ing of the wage scale which is certain
to follow the breaking down of the j
fictitious fabric of prosperity developed
during the demand for war supplies. It
Is believed, however, that the great
good sense of the American people,
employer and employe alike, will bring
about an adjustment that will be rea
sonable and reassuring as to tha per
manency of the average wage con
ditions in the United States.
Governor Brumbaugh has a habit of
•urprlslng Capitol Hill with appoint
ments that are entirely unexpected. The
Impression Is gaining ground that the
Governor is doing: a lot of hard think
ing on his own account, and that po
litical considerations are not entering
to any extent to his calculations.
THE THTEF
THE most despicable human being
in a civilized community Is the
thief, lower in the estimate of
mankind than the stray cur that noses
about the garbage and bones. He
admits by his skulking crimes that he
has not the manhood to earn for hlm
»elf an honest livelihood. The loss of
the trifles of jewelry and cash he
WEDNESDAY EVENING,
sneaks while honest men sleep Is the
least of the harm his cowardly prac
tice does.
Mothers and children go trembling
to bed after reading of his dastardly
doings. When he is caught, as sooner
or later he must be, his own flesh
and blood share with him the shamo
and contempt that follow his un
doing.
An increase in the police force, with
an assurance of permanent positions
to fearless and able men and swift
Justice untempered by sentiment or
mercy in the courts, are needful, but
not sufficient to meet the conditions
brought about by the wretches who
break and enter.
Let the Motorcycle Club of Harris
burg gro on record as willing to assist
the police in locating thieves who use
motorcycles, as some of them have
done recently.
Let every red-blooded citizen worthy
of the name procure a good weapon
and form vigilance committees in
every neighborhood, sleeping in turns
on the lower floor where the slightest
sound may be heard, and fearing not
to drop in his tracks the rascal who
dares to violate the security and peace
of the home.
When popular opinion once opposes
a condition the condition must disap
pear. Every man's home is his castle;
to invade it deserves drastic punish
ment.
"Do you think the glory of America
would be enhanced by a war of con- !
quest with Mexico?" asks President
Wilson. Of course not, and who has |
even suggested such a war outside the i
phrasemaker of the White House? As 1
has been suggested by the Philadel
phia North American, the President's
facility in declamation is the national
misfortune "since it leads him to neg
lect preparedness even in the matter
of his public utterances, thereby com
promising the interests of the United
States."
A little less hot air and more con
structive statesmanship would be a
good thing for the United States.
■TEST AS WELL, PERHAPS
WHILE some of the friends of
Charles E. Patton are dis
appointed that he was not
made State Highway Commissioner,
his retention as Secretary of Agri
culture will be welcomed by those who
have followed his work in that field.
Secretary Pal ton is not only a prac
tical road builder, but he is also an
agriculturalist of no mean standing
and an executive of ability and energy.
He has been responsible for increased
activities along all lines in the depart
ment since he took hold and in addi
tion has branched out in new and
helpful directions.
Whatever tho Highway Department
may have lost in him, the Department
of Agriculture no doubt has gained.
Bass fishermen have had mighty little
satisfaction thus far in their favorite
sport, but in the long run their present
unhappiness will be compensated in
larger fish and larger catches.
BEGINNING OF THE END
WHILE there is a marked ab
sence of that cry of the early
days of the war, "On to Ber-
I lin," the new offensive of the Allies has
all the earmarks of the beginning of
; the "great push" toward which the
English and the French have been
looking longingly ever since the battle
of the Marne; only the "great push"
appears to have resolved itself into the
| "great squeeze," for the Teutonic
armies are beset upon all sides. Along
the western front the spirit of Kitch
: ener "goes marching on." The Eng
-1 lish and the French are fighting side
| by side in the offensive that Kitchener
j and Joffre planned and which "Kitch
| ener's armies" have made possible. It
was the organizing ability of Kitchener,
I if not indeed hi? strategy, that carried
I the Allies through the first line of Ger
i man defenses and which is back of
their continued successes.
The end of the war may be far away, I
but the beginning thereof is here. As
soon as the people of Germany become
convinced that their sacrifices have
been fruitless, that all their tremen
dour and magnificent display of cour
age and efficiency has been in vain; as
soon as they learn that they have been
deceived by those they have trusted
and that the dream of world-wide Ger
man dominion is forever blasted, that
soon the voice of public opinion in
Germany will demand an end of the
insanity that has possessed all Ger
many ever since the idea of "whipping
the world" was first conceived by the
German war lords. And when the
people are sufficiently aroused in that
direction, not even German imperialism
will be able to hold back long the end
of the war.
"Kissing can spread infantile
paralysis."—Newspaper headline.
Thus the hardships of life increase.
MORE "WATCHFUL WAITING"
PERHAPS, after all, our National
Guardsmen are not to be rushed
unprepared into a campaign In
! Mexico—thanks to the pacific tone of
Carranza's note to the government at
I Washington. This time a period of
' watchful waiting" may he welcomed
| by the War Department as giving an
| opportunity to properly prepare
against the "cleaning up" process in
Mexico which nearly everybody be
lieves to be only a matter of time. Now
it remains to be seen what advantage
the President will take of the chance
offered him. Will our men be equip
ped with machine guns and plenty of
artillery? Will they be given aero
planes and adequate motor transports?
Or will they be held at the border as
the regulars were for nearly three
years—no better prepared, except in
becoming used to the vagaries of the
climate, than they were when they
went down?
The States have sent the flower of
their young manhood out at the call
of the President. They will expect to
see him give them tools of their trade.
They will insist that the troops be
given machine guns, armored cars,
aerial scouts in large numbers, artil
lery In sufficient quantity and caliber
and everything that will at once safe
guard them from successful attack and
make their task of guard duty and
possible Intervention eaiy and as safe
The Days of Real Sport .... By BRIGGS
JH-umv'chrismos \
SKIN-NAY?/ Aiuf rr Mice
, wate« —-r
i ,; k, millvuio ,
IK
as possible. That is the simple duty of
the administration and one that can
not be side-stepped by a renewal of
the flow of rhetoric that has been used
in the past to gloss over governmental
mistakes.
College professors are not always
good judges of political prospects, but
boards of trustees of colleges are gen
erally composed of business men who
can see the trend of events. A college
out in Illinois has offered President
Wilson a position after March 4, 1917,
TELE6RAPH PERISCOPE 1
—What, we arise to ask, has be
come of the croquet champion?
—The only trouble is that a safe
Fourth is not always sane.
—The Germans are beginning to un
derstand how the allies felt during the
first year or more of the war.
—ln a recent speech the President
said he is "Just getting ready to fight."
Don't worry, Mr. Hughes, the Presi
dent seldom does anything that he de
clares his Intention to do.
—Our only objection to the way the
signers of the Declaration of Indepen
dence did things is that they didn't
take two days to the job.
EDITORIAL COMMENT
Wilson is highly indignant with for
eign interference with our choosing of
a President. Now he can appreciate
how Huerta felt. Philadelphia North
American.
A man in Washington is engaged in
making a bust of President Wilson; j
and Mr. Hughes Is getting together a
whole organization with the same ob- \
ject in view.—Washington Herald.
Considering their utter dissatisfac
tion with Mr. Wilson's selections for
the Supreme Court, it's a wonder the
Republicans would force him to fill
another vacancy.—Nashville Southern
Lumberman.
The patriotism of the man who goes
out to fight for his country is severely
tested when the country he is fighting
for neglects to protect his family.—
New York Sun.
Record Exports in May
American exports for May reached
a total of $472,000,000, according to
an announcement by the Bureau of For
eign and Domestic Commerce, Depart
ment of Commerce. This exceeds all
previous monthly records. It is
greater by $61,000,000 than the high
record for March. It is $300,000,000
more than the monthly May average
from 1911 to 1314. The total exports
for the year ended with May were
$4,136,000,000, an increase of $1,500,-
000,000 over the preceding twelve
months, and double the total for the
year ended witn May, 1911. The ex
ports for May were $80,000,000 more
than the total for the fiscal year 1870.
The imports for May were also the
greatest on record, the total value be
ign $229,000,000, an increase of
$11,000,000 over April, the previous
high mark. This total exceeds the
monthly May average from 1911 to
1914 by $82,000,000. For the vear
ended with May imports totaled
*2,110,000,000, an increase of
$436,000,000 over the preceding year
and $242,000,000 over the correspond
ing period two years ago. The com
bined value of imports and exports in
the twelve months just ended was
$6,246,000,000, a growth of nearlv
$2,000,000 ($1,916,000,000) in a single
year.
Along the Color Line
[From the Crisis.]
The Rev. Albert Williams, of Omaha,
Xeb., the only colored Episcopal priest
in the diocese, has been elected secre
tary of the diocese.
The Detroit Federation of Women's
Clubs refused to accept membership
in the National Federation because the
Detroit Study Club, an organization of
thirty-two colored women, is not. al
lowed membership by the constitution
of the National Federation.
The sheriff of Elbert county, Georgia,
was shot, and killed by the son of a
judge in the superior court because of
mistreatment of a negro prisoner.
A separate building for colored
patrons to cost SIOO,OOO is planned by
the Memorial Hospital of Richmond.
Virginia.
The Governor of New York has an
nounced his Intention to form a col
ored regiment In the State Guard with
white officers.
HARRISBURG TELEGRAPH
LITTLE MILITARY '
TALKS
By Capt. Geo. F. Lumb
MEXICO
THE country is rich beyond the j
power of man to describe, In
minerals and oil, two vital fac- j
tors In modern warfare.
Consequently It is a mistake to un- )
derestimate our frenzied neighbor.
Astute soldiers of fortune, Japanese !
mining engineers, others graduated in i
American universities, speculators and
gamblers of high degree are there by
thousands. Peons are their pawns;
millions their stakes. They have guns
purchased In the United States with |
the approval of a faltering govern
ment.
Their men have been at each others'
throats for years; they are hard as
steel, the flag of truce means nothing,
! the red cross less. On each coast a
rugged mountain range; between them
the hot plains (Tierra Caliente).
These facts have been known to us
for years. We are to meet the condi
tions with unseasoned men drawn
from civil life without sufficient notice
to enable them to consult their den
tists or balance their books; not
■ enough machine guns to properly
I equip a regiment under modern condi
] tions.
It is no child's play. We will win
1 whether our generals decide to hold
the cities and railroads or to go to the
i hills and smoke them out.
But before we win we will be hit
hard, sometimes below the belt, and
there will be another call for volun
teers. Why not harden up a bit? It
. will do us good whichever way It
breaks.
Weeds and Their Uses
(Ohio State Journal.)
Most of our troublesome weeds have
come to us from the old countries.
I Cine may truthfully go further and say
that most of the troublesome weeds
ore universal. Before the days of
' steamships and railroads our weeds
jwere our own, but the constant in
terchange between countries in all
I parts of the globe of grains, minerals
i and goods of various kinds has spread
;the weeds into alien lands.
That the weeds have lived and thriv
en is due to the very quality which
makes them weeds. Their hardihood
and ability to flourish and reproduce
under adverse circumstances make
them a pest under favorable condi
tions. A wild carrot seed shaken from
a passing train and falling upon the
stone ballast of the railroad track
germinates and matures and spreads
its seeds far and wide, where a prim-'
rose seed would die. If the wild carrot
j seed can fulfill its mission in life,
which Is to reproduce its kind, in the
] barren, rock-ballasted railroad track.
It can easily be seen why it is a pest
in the farmer's rich acres.
Many of the weeds are useful plants,
in spite of their terrific hardihood and
fertility. The dandelion, nightshade,
jlmson weed and many others are used
medicinally. The various clovers,, in
cluding even the rank sweet clovers,
are valuable not only as forage crops
but as soil renovators, for thev draw
nitrogen into the ground. Many of the
weeds are edible—narrow-leaved dock,
chicory, corn salad, dandelions and
some of the mustards when used as
greens. I,ast, but not least, the es
thetic value of weeds should not be
overlooked. Every season brings its
changes of gay and flaunting weeds
which cover rubbish heaps and waste
i places with verdure and bloom. Wild
I carrots, mustards, sweet clovers, flea
banes, daisies, milkweeds, asters and
goldenrods furnish a beauty to the
landscape which cannot be overlook
ed.
Newspapers in Danger
Indianapolis, Ind., July 3.—At an
important conference between the
labor committee of the American
Newspaper Publishers' Association and
the officers of the International Typo
graphical Union there was much dis
cussion of the present serious con
ditions affecting the newspaper Indus
try. The publishers also have been
discussing the high cost of print paper,
and it was stated that unless prices
quit soaring soon many papers will
either have to increase their advertis
ing rates or subscription price, or beth,
or go out of business.
Gary Warns of Dangers
Judge Elbert H. Gary, chairman of
the board of the United States Steel
Corporation, In an article In the cur
rent Issue of System entitled "How
Shall We Propare for Peace," says
that he does not. think that this Euro
pean war will be long protracted. He
outlines the present prosperity of this
country and sounds a note of warning
that this prosperity Is possibly not so
great as the volume of business -yould
Indicate.
—
IN MEXICOJOJEARS
The Story of a War in Which Every Battle Was a Victory For
the Stars and Stripes.
By J. HOWARD WERT
Author of " 'TWM 50 Tears Ago." published In tW Hirrlsburgr Tele
graph, June and July, 1913, In connection with the (Jreat Celebration of
the Semicentennial of the Battle of Gettysburg.
AND now that ten companies had l
actually been selected to form a I
Pennsylvania volunteer regiment,
proclamations and general orders I
blossomed forth again in ponderous!
length. Adjutant-General Bowman in!
one of these "specially requests no man
to assume an office he is not fit for." j
Well now! Was not that decidedly
refreshing? Since the universe existed ;
did any man ever aspire to any office 1
that he did not feel competent to fill? [
Just leave the question or competency j
to one's own Inner consciousness and I
he would have a job lot of qualified j
officeholders in a jiffy. Why, fifteen I
years later, I saw paper-made brlga- I
dier-general stalking around camps, i
gorgeous in tinsel, that scarcely knew)
a musket from a broomstick; and col
onels who had to hunt up a sergeant!
who had been in the regular army to
tell them how to make the simplest J
regimental movements. And that kind )
of officers, in the opening years of j
the Civil War, cost the lives of thou- j
sands of brave union soldiers.
Even after six months of supposed
preparation for just such an event as
the present requisition, it took some
three weeks to inspect and put into i
motion the ten companies now select
ed. Yet a Harrisburg paper of this
period says: "Too much praise can
not be awarded to General Bowman
for his promptness. He has been un
ceasing in his labors." True, very
likely. The fault was not in the offi
cial, but in a cumbrous and out-of
date system.
The general government had fixed
Pittsburgh as the point of rendezvous
for the First Pennsylvania Volun
teers, seven of the ten companies
passed through Harrisburg on their
Munsey and the Sun
Frank Munsey, that prince of jour
nalistic experimenters, has purchased
the New York Sun and is about to turn
ii into a penny newspaper at a time
when almost every newspaper publish
er in the country is thinking seriously
about advancing prices. Munsey is
very wealthy, but not all his riches
consist of newspaper profits. Indeed
Munsey in all likelihood has sunk
many more thousands in the "news
paper game" than he has ever made
out of it. His costly failure in Phila
delphia may be cited as an example.
Perhaps he can stand the pressure of
| a penny paper when other proprietors
i are facing the almost certain advance
to two cents, toward which a fifty per
cent, or more raise in the price of
white paper, the basic product of
newspaper making, is fast pushing
them. Certainly he can hope to make
profit from it. and the extreme likeli
hood is he will lose heavily.
Then too, Munsey faces the prob
lem of advertising and circulation.
The penny paper must depend upon
advertising to make profits, for no
daily newspaper worth the name Is
now produced at a cost which permits
\ it to be sold retail for a cent and come
out whole. The Sun never was a pop
| ular paper, in the sense that It appeal
|cd to the masses. It was always more
or less a class publication. It was its
! individuality that won for It the high
i place it long has held in the newspa
| per world. It kept going and main
tained its standard because it gathered
its own news, written in Its own way
and employed brains to handle its
every department.
Munsey has announced that he will
get his news by the Associated Press,
which puts the Sun on a dead level
with thousands of other journals
throughout the country with respect
to its news and he intends to "popu
larize" it in ways that one may imag
ine from his efforts in that line else
where. In the end he may succeed.
He has accomplished many marvels
of the kind In his time. But the task
of "popularizing" the dignified old Sun
and making It earn profits on a penny
basis with paper prices sky high and
still going is a task that will not appeal
to many. Mr. Munsey may not knbw
it, but the two cent newspaper Is Just
around the corner and the publisher
who does not get acquainted with that
fact soon will get acquainted Instead
with the sheriff. The Harrisburg
Courier.
Reading Prices Raised
The Reading (Pa.) News-Times has
raised lta subscription price from 6 to
10 cents per week, starting to-day. In
creased production cost Is riven as the
reason for the step.
JULY 5,
western way. Despite the disappoint
ment of the leading citizens at the
summary way in which Harrisburg's
twc crack companies had been turned
down, the people of the borough gave
these companies a royal reception. In
1546 there could be no such thing as
a speedy transportation of troops.
From Harrisburg some of the com
panies used the Cumberland Valley
R. R. to Chambersburg, and then
othei companies went by canal from
Harrisburg as far as that thorough
fare of travel extended, and then got
o\ er the Alleghenies as best they
could. And as the First Regiment
contained no Harrisburg unit, it here
drops out of our story.
Formation of the "Cameron Guards"
December 15, 1846, President Polk
called on our State for a second regi
ment, while, at the same time, Vice-
President Dallas telegraphed to Har
risburg that this would positively be
; thb last regiment to be accepted from
Pennsylvania, for leading citizens felt
; that it would be a disgrace to the
capital of the State if it remained en
tirely unrepresented in the war. It
had also become evident that neither
the Dauphin Guards nor Harrisburg
R.fies would be accepted. This condi
tion arose from various causes un
necessary to dig up at this late day,
the principal one being the unwilling
ness of many of the members to take
the oath of enlistment "for the war"
Instead of a certain specified time.
Then United States Senator Simon
Cameron got busy. The same evening
that the President's requisition was
received in Harrisburg, an enthusias
tic meeting was held in the Court
[Continued 011 Page 9]
1 OUR DAILY LAUGH
y chorus girls pes-
What made you
think they were,
'©'MV wh y they'r«
* kicking all th«
THE FISHER- i-* ■ 1 C
Cautious, at noon, Ui' 5
he lies about LS7 \
His rod and line ldj
Boldly, at eve,
Astride a tav- |1 J IN
He F lies about
his fish. tin ®
NOT MUCH OF A 4TH
By Wins Dinger
Went out. to the country
Testerday to play
In a golf "Flag-Toumay"
For a while to play.
Handicap of thirty.
They did hand to me,
And in manner quite bold,
I approached the tee.
Drove the ball just three feet
In the long, long grass.
I Smashed at It with mashie
Three times, but. alas
I played five to get out —
Crossed the fairway wide—
Landed in the long grass •
On the other side.
But I kept on going,
Holding well my nerve
Firm, that from my purpose,
Naught should make me swerve.
Got to going nicely—
Thought a prize I'd take—
' Till I drove from "six" tee
And dropped In the lake.
Then all hope departed,
Confidence did droop,
As I saw the ball soar
1 And drop in the soup—
Not alone because it
Spoiled my chances, bo—
But Fd used a sinker—
And—oh, well, you know.
lEbptttng (Hfjal
There's a group of men in Harris
burg who for several years past have
seen to it that Independence Day has
had an impressive welcome to the city.
And this welcome is just as spec- .
tacular as it is unofficial, yet it has
never as yet figured in any of the news
stories of events of the day—and likely
never will until some city official makes
a bid for publicity by forbidding it.
Among this group of patriots are
employes of the Philadelphia and
Heading Railway in the vicinity of the
yard entrance at Eleventh and Berry
hill streets and a crowd of neighbor
hood boys.
The principal feature of the fete is
the lighting of two "torches," and
these torches, by the way, are just a
I little out of the ordinary. Sometimes
a whole week is required in their mak
ing.
Two high trees in the field just be
low Thirteenth street are selected and
huge wads of oil-soaked cotton waste
are festooned over the limbs until the
trees take the appearance of huga
cone-shaped shafts of waste.
In anticipation of the opening of the
celebration hundreds of people gather
about the "commons" and keep things
lively with firecrackers, blanks and
cap pistols.
At midnight engines standing near
by cut loose with their whistles and
eveiyone who owns any kind of a
noise-making device puts it to its
proper use. Before the noise dies down
someone lights wads of paper and
tosses them into the trees.
In a few seconds there are two great
torches shooting their flames into the
air for thirty or forty feet. Wads of
burning waste dropping to the ground
ignite large spaces of dry grass and in
a short time there is a right respect
able conflagration.
This year some dealer with a large
supply of fireworks the sale of which
had been forbidden gave his stock
away and boys from the neighborhood
saw to it that they were properly
"set oft."
At least 100 fire balloons and scores
or cannon crackers were in the supply
and a right lively time there was while
it lasted.
• * •
Until the facts in the case are ascer
tained, Playground Supervisor J. K.
Staples isn't entirely sure that the
official regret naturally felt In the
cause of a complaint filed by an up
town business firm against the extraor
dinary athletic activities of some of
the youngsters of the Seventh and
Kelker street playgrounds may not be
sugared a wee bit with a glow of pride.
The complaint, in brief, is that four
3-pound iron quoits have been heaved
from the playgrounds through the tin
roof of the firm's warehouse near by.
Therein, playground officialdom ad
mits, lies cause for deep regret. The
roof, however, is some fifty-five feet
from the surface of the playground
wherein lies the supervisor's sneaking
glow of pride.
The complaining firm, by the way,
is the New Idea Spreader Company.
* * •
Now and then the frequent re
iterations of testimony brought about
more or less unconsciously by mem
bers of the bar are pointedly squelched
, by the judges on the bench; there are
, occasions, too, when the court empha
' sizes this position in quietly humorous
fashion. A case in point occurred the
other day during a recent equity hear
. ing. The question of whether or not a
' witness had made a certain statement
was in Issue; President Judge Kunkel
! had his own views about it, while one
of counsel for the litigants had his.
"The witness made that point clear
1 a couple of times," declared Judge
' Kunkel, "when he repeated his asser
; tions."
"Oh, yes," agreed the lawyer, he
" made the admission twice, anyway."
' "Yes," said the president judge,
"that's a 'couple of times,' isn't it?"
Whereupon the argument ended.
' « « »
"Did you sit up or get up at mid
" night to-hear the city's welcome to the
' new Independence Day?" asked the
2 tired man of his neighbor in the trol
! ley car. "Yes? Well, didn't it. occur
to you that the racket was much like
2 London and other English towns must
J have grown accustomed to when the
Zeppelin raids are made?"
"From all I've read and been told
J of those raids by some of the folks
* who've been In London at the time,
" the fire and church bells, the factory
' and locomotive whistles and similar
" noise-making agencies in London and
® other English coast towns notify the
sleeping inhabitants of the coming of
the dreadful 'Zcps' in practically the
1 same way that Harrisburg Informed
5 its own sleeping folks of the coming
s of another national^ birthday."
1 With only a half hour schedule in
effect on the trolley lines to Hershey
on the Fourth, much difficulty was ex
. perienced in the evening in handling
the big crowds of people who were re
turning home. Practically every car
had at least lOp and In some cases 125
passengers, while the seating capacity
is only 44. Many of the people with
children were compelled to wait until
late In the evening because of the
crowding in getting on the cars, and
the rush for seats. One little girl was
badly bruised when the mob pushed
her from her mother's arms and al
most threw her Into the car. Because,
of the lack of even standing room
some of the passengers were compell
ed to stay on the front platform with
the motornian, making it difficult to
operate the cars with safety.
* * *
Pockets loaded with cartridges and
with 22, 32 and 38-caliber revolvers in
trim, Hummelstown and Palmyra fans
at the baseball game between those
two teams at Hershey yesterday after
inoon, furnished the visiting thousands
; with a real Fourth celebration, and a
[good Imitation of what a small battle
sounds like. Every time one of the
I plavers made a hit, scored a run, or
made a brilliant fielding play the root
ers instead of yelling themselves
1 hoarse, emptied their revolvers in the
air. The din was continued during
the entire game and after the smoke
cleared away hundreds of shells were
scattered along the edge of the field.
One man who had been enjoying the
sport estimated that at least 2,000
blank cartridges were fired during the
game.
Nifty Work
An attorney, angered because of an
adverse ruling by the judge, left the
courtroom, remarking to another lawy
er that "the judge was an ass ana
shouldn't be on tne bench."
Before the case ended the judge
heard of the remark and called the at
torney before him.
"I hear." he said, "that you called
me an ass and said I ought not to be
on the bench."
"Sure," replied the quick-witted at
torney. "Anybody with your profound
knowledge of law is an ass to be on
the bench. Tou ought to be practicing
before tho bar, where your talents
could be cashed into big money."—
Puck.
An Optimist
I never listen to calumnies, because,
if they are untrue, I run the risk of
being deceived; and, if they be true,
of hating persons not worth thinking
about. —Mont esc,uleu.
WHAT THE ROTARY CLUB
LEARNED OF THE CITY
[Questions submitted to members of
the Harrisburg Rotary Club and their
answers as presented at the organlza*
tlon's annual "Municipal Quiz."]
What Is the mileage of the River
Front?
4.2 miles. ~-"