12 \fr2o(Y)en /^.inteßes TRITE AND TABLOID TALES Speaking from your vast experience] of men. Mother Dear, when Is a wo man justified In having Implicit faith in her husband? When he Is blind, My Child, and deaf and dumb, and sits crippled In the chimney corner. Then she is Jus tified In having supreme confidence in him. What, Mother Mine, is meant by "saving for a rainy day?" It means. Little One, that the pru dent put by a little money for a shower, and find It is a deluge when It comes. Explain, Mother, what you mean by saying there are only two kinds of men on earth? The single men, Daughter, who arc not as good as their sweethearts think they are, and the married men who are not as bad as their wives believe. Is it BO wonderful, Mother Dear, that George Washington never told a lie? Tush, tush, no, My Child; he never had a cow run over by a railroad (Their Married Lifei | By MABEL HERBERT URNER . j Warren, his hands In his pockets; j stood scowling out the window at the J snow-swlrled, wind-driven street. , 'lt's too blamed cold to go out." j "How about a pick-up supper here?" | asked Mr. Stevens. "Guess there's ( something In the Icebox." 'Henry, there's not. a thing!" pro-1 tested Mrs. Stevens. "Then we'll send out for some stuff. What do you say, Mrs. Curtis? Rath er have something here, or go out. The car's ordered." Helen hesitated. She was not sure i that Mrs. Stevens would want them; fussing around the kitchen when the. maid was off. "But it's Sunday. Vou cant get. anything, can you?" ! "Plenty of delicatessen shops open. , "See here, why not make that Hot j Stuff," suggested Warren. "Did Wil- i son give you that recipe the night j we had it at his stag supper?" "That's so, he did." Mr. Stevens i looked through some papers in his wallet. "I've got It right here." "But Henry, that takes boiled ham and cheese," said his wife, ;is he read the receipt. ! "Get that at a delicatessen, can t j we?" "Oh. I say Stevens." interrupted . Warren, "let's you and I make this. Keep out the women folks till we're 1 through." "Now you're not going to mess up Lizzie's kitchen, she'll be" — But Mr. Stevens had already started t kitchenward. "Fine idea. Come on, i Curtis, let's find out what we'll need. "Lizzie'll be furious- —and they'll | not make anything fit to eat. NOA\ | what have they done?" Mrs. Stevens; started up as a clash of pans and j shouts and shouts of laughter came j l'rom the kitchen. But they were not allowed to enter, > Mr. Stevens barricaded the door. "No admission till we get the job | under way. But hold on, Emily, jus' ( tell us where you keep the eggs. ' "Why, in the icebox, of course." i The Egg Mystery 'Nope. None there. Curtis, put j three eggs on that list." "Of course we've eggs, plenty of; eggs," insisted Mrs. Stevens. "They've | spilt or broken something in there— that's why they won't let us in. But! we might as well let them alone. Oh, j I'll show you that new corset 1 was telling you about." There is nothing more fascinating to women than the discussion of the I ' Easy Way to Remove Freckles and Eruptions ■ Some women have akin of such tex ture they occasionally an? annoyed by the sudden appearance of freckles, slight eruptions or line lines. March winds usually play havoc with skins of that kind. In such cases if one will procure an ounce of common mercol tzed wax at any drug store, apply a little of it before retiring like cold • tream, she can easily overcome the trouble. When the wax is washed oft' next morning, flaky skin particles come with it. The entire outer cuticle is removed in this way in a week or so, with all its defects. No bleach could so effectually Remove freckles or blemishes. The new surface ir smooth, elear, fresh looking. No pain or in convenience accompanies this simple treatment. In case of wrinkles which sink be neath the outer skin, a solution of sax olite, I oz., dissolved In % pt. witch hazel, makes a face bath which is won derfully effective.—Advertisement. A SURE WAY TO END DANDRUFF Stop Falling Hair and Itching Scalp—At Once There is one sure way that has never failed to remove dandruff at once, and that is to dissolve It, then you destroy it entirely, w To do this, just get about four ounces of plain, common liquid arvon from any drug store (this is all you will need) ap ply it at night when retiring; use enough to moisten the scalp and rub it in gently with the finger tips. By morning, most if not all, of your dandruff will be gone, and three or lour more applications will completely dissolve, and entirely destroy every single sign and trace of It, no matter how much dandruff you may have. You will find all itching and digging of the scalp will stop instantly and your hair will be fluffy, lustrous, glossy, silky and soft, and look and feel u hundred times better. If you value your hair, you should get rid of dandruff at once, for noth ing destroys the hair so quickly, it not only starves the hair and makes it fall out, but It makes it stHngy, straggly, dull, dry, brittle, and lifeless, und everybody notices it.—Advertise ment. UNDERTAKERS RUDOLPH K. SPICER Funeral Director and Embalmer OS Walnut St. Bell I'hnn* Try Telegraph Want Ads. TUESDAY EVENING, By FANCES L. GARSIDE train. Why do men say with such author ity, Mother Dear, that women can't, keep a secret? Because, Child, when a man is told a secret downtown, he goes home and tells his wife, and she tells some one else, and when he hears that she has told some one else that which he never should have told her, it proves to him that no woman can keep a secret. What, Mother, Is a woman's ideal man? One, My Child, who makes her feel when he addresses her that she be longs* to the royal family. Why, Mother, since worrying is so bad for the human race, do you insist that we should all worry? Because, Child, some one has to worry In order to raise the money to pay the taxes to provide a poor farm for those who don't worry. What, Mother, is meant when it Is I lines of a new corset, and it was fully | a half haur before they thought of ■ returning to the kitchen, j This time they were allowed to i enter, for both Warren and Mr. j Stevens were busy trying to fasten the meat chopper to the table. | They were both in their shirt I sleeves. Warren, with a long roller | towel pinned up on his shoulders and j hanging almost to his feet, while Mr. I Stevens had a white cloth pinned around his generous waist line, j "Why, Henry." indignantly, "that's ; the bread cloth." ; But Mr. Stevens was absorbed in an inspection of the three blades that | went with the meat, chopper, j Use finest cutter," read Warren, from the receipt. "How in thunder jean you tell which Is the finest? Here, I this must be it." I Then they opened the packages the j hall boy had just brought. There was boiled ham, cheese, eggs and a box of ' crackers. ; With a gleeful chuckle. Warren cut up the cheese and began grinding it through the chopper In eloquent imi tation of the hand organ man. • "Hold on there!" expostulated Mr. I Stevens. "That stuff's got to be j weighed. You can't guess at this j thing, we want to have it right" j "But, Henry,,we haven's any scales. ; Lizzie broke ours last month." A Way Out "How about the postage scales?" .suggested Warren "Didn't I see some on your desk? They'll weigh a quar ter of a pound." | Mrs. Stevens brought out the post | age scales, and while they weighed i the ham and cheese Helen read the | receipt. WILSON'S "HOT STUFF" | '■i lb. cheese, j Vi lb. ftoiled ham. i 3 eggs. iVi box (six ordinary square soda crackers). | Vi pint milk. j 1 teaspoon Worcestershire Sauce. ! H teaspoon baking powder. Use finest cutter of any meat j chopper. Run cheese through j first, then the ham and then the crackers. Empty all in a mixing I bowl, add Worcestershire Sauce, j red pepper and salt. Salt freely. ! Then add milk and mix thorough ly. Should be the consistency of a thick batter—if not, add more i milk. Beat the eggs until very light, then mix in with batter. Sprinkle baking powder over the ' top and 'stir In lightly. Bake I slowly in buttered earthen baking j dish until brown. I "Phew, this thing's getting all I stuck up," complained Warren, for j the chopper was now clogged with ; the ham and cheese. "Run a couple of crackers through ■| —that'll clean it out." "There, don't that look tine?" when it was all run through the chopper, II cleaned with a final cracker. "Now I what's the next thing?" "Half pint of milk." ■ "Just about that much here," pro-' ! ducing a bottle from the icebox. "That's all the milk we've got for breakfast," demurred Mrs Stevens. 1 Unheeding this protest Mr. Stevens { poured the milk, while Warren stirred !it in vigorously with a long wooden j | spoon. • Helen, who had always dotibted the ! tidiness of Mrs. Stevens' much-lauded' I maid, could not resist a critical glance I j about the kitchen. The stove was I not clean. The burners and dripping, | pan were coated with greasei and a j | smoke-stained newspaper lined the I warming pan. The shelves were not over-orderly, | and the top of the icebox was piled with bags and boxes. And yet she! had every convenience. There was an I { expensive kitchen cabinet, with its j blue and white cereal and spice jars, I jthe kind Helen had always wanted. i "Those beaten enough?" demanded I ; Warren, who was frothing the eggs' ! with a patent beater. I ast Touches | "Fine. Pitch 'em In. Now, Emily, | whcre's your baking bowder?" The eggs and baking powder were | stirred in and the batter poured into ia baking dish. "Oh, turn* off some of those foot : lights." as Warren opened the oven and found that Mr. Stevens had lit | up both rows of burners. "No, we'll want the whole show on I in the beginning—need a good hot! j oven to start her off." I "All right, here she goes." and [ Warren slipped the dish In, slammed Ito the oven door, and wiped his hands on his roller-towel bib. "You're go | ing to have a real treat That'll be Ithe best stufT you ever tasted. Now j you two hurry and set the table." I "But what'll we have with it?" ask ied Mrs. Stevens. "Nothing. It's a whole meal in it- Iseif. Got a few bottles of beer, haven't you?" glancing in the Ice-; I box. "Well, that's all we'll want." When Helen and Mrs. Stevens had finished setting the table, Warren ap peared with a fork In one hand and a dish towel in the other. I "Just come in here and have a i sniff." I "If it'll only taste as good as It !smells." laughed Mrs. Stevens, sniff ing the delicious odor that came from the oven. "Take a look at that, Emily," and Mr. Stevens opened the oven door. "See if you don't think that's done." "Why, yes, I should think so," said Mrs. Stevens. "Let's take it out. Everything in said of a man that he Is promising:? There are different kinds, My Dear, but the promising man with whom most women are familiar is the man who promises in November a new house for his wife in Spring. In Jan uary it becomes an addlton to the old one; dwindles In March to a porch and materializes In May In a new sidewalk. Why, Mother, do you object to a woman referring to her husband as her choice. Come nearer, Child, so the neigh bors won't hear: So often the man a woman takes is more of a necessity. What, Mother, Is meant by "being In hard lines?" Tt is the condition of a man when you have to tell who he married to identify him. Why, Mother, do they call Mr. Jinks "Professor?" 1 do not know, Little One, unless it i Is because he is a professor of re- I llglon. lit is cooked, anyway." and shoving Mr. Stevens aside Warren lifted out the pan. Oh, wait, you'll bum my tea towel!" cried Mrs. Stevens. "Gee Wllllkens, that's hot!" drop ping it on the table. They put the baking dish on a tray j and Mr. Stephens carried it trlumph | antly into the dining doom, j Warren Insisted on serving it, which he did with an arrogant air of ef ficiency. A Success | "How about It? Ever taste any j thing better in your life? Now, here's a dish that's Invented by a man. Square meal in Itself. Don't need a lot i ol' side frills to help out." i "That's so," agreed Mr. Stevens. "If | men did more of the cooking there'd :be more dishes like it. A woman can Ibe in the kitchen all her life and | never make up a dish of her own. (Women lack initiative. Their minds j aren't inventive." j That s right," broke in Warren. "All the labor saving devices for | housework are men's ideas. Every j kitchen convenience was invented by a man. A woman never"— "Oh, you two are Insufferable," ban ! tered Mrs. Stevens. "Just because j j you made one dish and messed up the j whole kitchen! Now stop bragging | about it and give us some more," pass : Ing her plate. | "Humph, you don't say a word about it being good—but you stow it away all right. How about you, Helen? Want some more?" "Yes, dear, it's very nice." i "Very nice?" with a snort. "Make it stronger than that or you don't get any." "Well then it's DELICIOUS!" "That's better" "Next time we'll double that re ! ceipt," mused Mr Stevens "Hardly enough here for four." A few moments later Warren lit a cigar with a sigh of full content. "Well that was some dish! Now j Helen, since Stevens and I've done all ! the work, suppose you and Mrs. Stevens pitch in and clean things up." ■IMS COURT ROOM AUDIENCE I _ ~ For First Time in Years Permission Is Asked of Judge Kunkel Today j D m Mn -y ears i . he i—J .Many jurors had been excused "sub ject to call" or for the entire week, when the roll was called at the open ing of March quarter sessions yester day. This, and the fact that several Juries were deliberating cases to-day, made it impossible to get together more than ten talesmen for the trial of Edward Kaiser, charged with steal ing a bicycle. Finally another Juror dropped in and he was snapped up. Kobert Stucker, counsel for the de fense, expressed his willingness to proced with eleven Jurors then, but Assistant District Attorney Frank B. Wickersham asked for permission to select a venire from the audience. Be fore this was necessary, however, an other jury reported with a verdict and the necessary twelfth man was drawn. Scaler Home From Pittsburgh.— j Harry D. Keel, city sealer of weights and measures, has returned from Pittsburgh, where he attended a con vention of inspectors and sealers of the State. Ex-Sergeant Uodgers a Watchman. I —The Dauphin county court to-day. 1 appointed Thomas Kodgers, ex-ser geant of police, a night watchman. 1 Realty Transfers.—Kealty transfers yesterday included eight property transactions in East Hanover town ship as follows: Adam Swoyer to John Boyer, $54; William Swoyer to Lydia Boyer, $355; Eliza Nye to John Boyer', $2; John Kapp to John Boyer, S2O; Mary Kapp to John Kapp, $26; W. Ferst to V. Ferst, Jr., $560; Wil 111am Kline to V. Ferst, Jr., $140; V. i Ferst to John Kapp, S2O; Abraham Grant to State, 509 Cowden street. $2,400; Hufus McCree to State, 10# Filbert, $1,750. To Close Maclay Street Bridge.— Beginning Monday, March 23, the Ma clay street bridge will be closed to traffic upon order of W. H. Lynch, commissioner of streets and public improvements, pending some general i repairing of the iron superstructure |by the Pennsylvania railroad. | Inspecting Sealers Coming.—G. A. Raffensberger and F. A. Foreman, county Inspectors of weights and meas ures of Adams and Franklin counties, respectively, will ' visit this city to morrow to look over and investigate the city sealing department. Ex-Mayor Klrsehler's Bond Re duced. —The bond of ex-Mayor Chas. F. Kirschler, Pittsburgh, receiver for the Traders and Mechanics bank, waa reduced from $400,000 to SIOO,OOO. Reduce Farmers' Produce Co. Re reivers' Bond.—ln an order handed down yesterday President Judge Kun kel reduced the