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- W. 0. JACOB F Publisher.
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I u U
BLOOMS BURG. COLUMBIA COUNTY, PA., WEDNESDAY, A PRIL 5, 1865,
NUMBER 24.
;t.t :r7T-vT7:7; ".7i nT; .' n ;
; r - ,J " "
' . - . -: -- "Jmm - , - . ".
(1
3
J
)
t THE undersigned- having teen restored
td- beattfct'io'a few Weeks, by a very' sim-
pis remedy, afterjiaving eutfered several
Tj ears, with a severe lung uffecrion, and
fthatdread disease, Consumption -is anx
ious to make-known ro bis fellow sufferers
s ine means of Cdre. . .,.;.
V- To all .who desire It, he will send a copy
-of the prescription used free of charge
" with the directions for preparing and using
tthe fame, which they will find a sure cure
for" Consumption, Asthma, BroncbJtis,
'.'Colda, &c' -The only object of the adver-
rj liser in sending t&e Prescripticn is to bene-
fit(he"afliicted, 'and spread information
' c which, he conceives to be Jnvaluable and
be hopes every sufferer will try his remedy
a8 It wii cobt them nothing,' and prove a
. Classing. .
Parties' wishing 'the "prescription will
please address,. ...; -.N'v
' REV. EDWARD A. WILSON,
WUnarasburg, Kings County, New York
February 15. 1865 3mo.
18G
18G
'"PENNSYLVANIA & ERIE RAILROAD
This great line traverses tbe Northern
"arid Northwest counties of Pennsylvania to
Jhe city of Ere, on Lake Erie.
If has been leasetf by the Pennsylvania
xRair Road Company, and is 'operated by
Its entire length was opened for .pacsen
ger and freight business, Oct." 17th, 1864 .
Time of Passenger trains at North 'd.
licaTe Eastward.
Mail Train ' !0 16 P. M.
Elraira Express Train, 1127
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Passenger cars run through on Mail train
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For' information -respecting Passenger
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'J.1W. Reynolds, Erie."
'J. M Drill, As't. N. C. R. R.. Baltimore.
U H H. HOUSTONa
General Freiaht A gl. Phil a. .
. - H. W. G WINNER,
- . General Ticket Agt. PbiHa.
J0S. D. POTTS,
- General Manager, Williamcport.
Feb. 22 1865.
Iiirorixiatioii Free.
To Nerveous Sufferers.
A -GENTLEMAN, enredi of Nervoue
Debility, Incompetency Premature Decahn
Van'd Youihfal Error, actuated by a d'esire
to benefit others, will be happy to furnis
to all wbo need it, (free of' charge,) lha
. recipe and direction, for making, the sim
ple remedy used in his case. SnfTererf
wishing to profiiby the advertisers bad ex
penence, and possess a sure and valuable
remedy, cau do Bo;by addrensiog him at
once'at his place of business. Tha Recipe
l f ad fulj information of vital importance
iwiU be cheerfully sent by return of mail.
.Address JOHN B. OGDEN.
No. 60 Nassau Street, New York.
P. . Nervous Sufferers of both sexes
will rtad this information valuable.
Dec. 7, 1864 3rao. . f :1
: IF YOU-WANT -TO KNOW
A LITTLE ol everything relating to the
human system, male and female ; the
causes " aud'treatroent of diseases; the mar
riage cusioms ot the world; how ta marry
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Address Dr. E. B. FOOTE, M. D.
: r ii3o Broadway, New York,
"Feb. 1, 1865 6mo. '
'Eating and JOrinking
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tice to the1 public that he has at hit. Saloon,
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Mice.' He .also keeps on hand XX Ale, Si
Mef and tntoerals. .' ' '" " "''.
Give him a call. ,
B. STPHNER.
23, 1864.
B!oomsburg, Nov.
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HARRY AND I.
We stood where the saalte-like ivy
Climbed over the meadow bare,
And watched as the young night sprinkl'd
The sky with her cream white stars.
The clover was red beneath us
The air had a smell of June
The criket chirped in the grasses, .
And the soft rays of the moon,
Drew our shadows oa the meadow,
Distorted and lank and tall ; (.
. His shadow was kissing my shadow
. That was the best, of all.
My heart leaped up as he whispered,
" "I love you, Margaret Lee ' -For
then one'arm of his shadow
Went around the shadow of me.
"I love you, Margery', darling, '
Because you are'young and fair ;
; For your eyes' bewildering bloenecs, ,
, And the gold of yoai early hair.
No queen has bands that are whiter,
No lark has a voice so sweet,
And your ripe young lips are redder
Than the cloer at your feet.
"My heart will break with its fullness,
' Like a cloud o'er charged with rain ;
0 tell me Margery, darling, ,
How long mast I love in vain V
With bloshes and smiles. I answered
(I will not tell what) just then : ,
1 saw that his saucy shadow -
Was kissing my own again.'- - '
He promised to love me only
I promised tolove but him
Till the moon fell out of the heavens v
' And the stars wit) sge grew dim. 1
0 the strenjtb ol man's devotion !
O the vows a woman speaks ! "
'Tie years since that blusb'of rapture
Broke. redly over my cheeks.
He found a gold that was brighter
. Than- that of my floating curls,
And married a cross eyed widow,
With a dozen grown up girls.
"And I--did I pine and languish 1.
Did. I weep my bjue eyes sore ? -Or
break my-heart do yoo fancy,
For love that was mine no more ?
1 sland to night in the meadow
Where Harry and I 6lood then,
And the moon has drawn two shadows
Out over .Ihe grass again. ' ' "
And a low voice keeps repeating
So cloce to my startled ear .
That the shadews met together
"I love you, Margery, dear."
"'Tis not for your cheeks' rich crimson,
And not for your eyes' soft blue,
, But because your heart U lender,
And r.oble and pure and true."
The voice is dearer than Harry's ;
And so 1 am glad, you see, " '- .
He married the cross eyed widow
Instead of Margery Lee !
,hj
The "Dcath Waich." The " death
s
watch" ( Anobiumstrialun) is " a very com
mon inmate of our house. Among those
who are unacquainted with the habits of
insects) there is a common sopersHtion that
the strange ticking sound often beard in
old houses is a 6ig1i of approaching death. -j
Yha noisa. however. is caused bv a small I
beetle, which, during it. boring operations, I
rubs the neck and thorax - (chest) together, j
by which mean's this (id some persons) ter
rible omen is orodnced a fact which, lfi
more foerally known,-would -save a world
of useless anxiety and uneasiness. In the
larva state these insects do great injury te
our furniture and the wood-work of old
bouses, . which they gnaw continually. I
When captured, this beetle feigns death,
and wjlb the. strangest 'pertinacity, . prefer
ring, it said, certain 'death, onder a slow
fire, rather than to betray the' least sign of
vitality! The "death watch," on account
of its retired habits," minute size, and dark
color, is very seldom seen ; and, aas there
are often several individuals working at the
same time at their boring-operations, the
souud seems to proceeds simultaneously
from opposite directions, thus adding to the
superstition terror . 1 where with, by some
persons, U is regarded. . The greatest evil,
however,'to ba drejded from il is the injury
it does through its excavations in the wood
work of our houses. It is not larger than a
good sized flea.' r
, ",Mt friend' said a seedy individual to a
waggish acquaintance at a ferry; "I wish
yoo would loan matwe quarters lo cross
the ferryv l hav't got a dollar in tne world."
"Wall, I would like to- know,'f was" lbs
reply, ."what difference ii makes to a man
wbo basn't ft a do!!?r iri world wbirh
A DAY IN PETTICOATS.
BT A MODEST YOUNG MAN.
I couldn't think ol 6uch a thing.'
"But you must. My happiness depends
on it. Here, put on the thingumbobs, and
the what's his name." , . .
Anrl m v frion rt Rnh Slvlns held no hefnra i
J " ' . J r :
my hesitant gaze a whole suit of feminine
apparel. .. . . . . ... ;
His idea was that I shoold personate his
lady-love for one day, to prevent anybody
from suspecting the truth namely, that
she had joined him in a runaway marriage
party until it should be too late for inter
ference ; that is until, the minister should
have tied a knot between ihera that nothing
but a special grant of the Legislature could
untie, . . ,. i
The scheme was not actually so absurd
as it appeared at first sight.- Maggie Lee
was a tall,' queenly woman, with an almost
masculine air, and, at that time . I had a
very slight form almost effeminate, bo
that, in fact, there was really but little diff
erence ' on that peint.. Then I had light
hair parted in the middle, and put a bonnet
on my head and lew persons will suspect
that I was not of the softer sex. These
accessories 'aUo gave me qui'.e a decided
resembJance to Maggie Lee, especially
when as this case the disguise was her
own.
Then the day chose for the runaway
match. was an auspicious one. Maggie's
I pa was (o drive her to D j a small vil
lage near where she lived, and there she
was to join a sailing party down D riv
er, to the grove three miles b.elow ; from
which the party was to return in the eve
ning in carriages. 1
Our plan was, that I should be waiting in
the village, and should go on the beat - wilh
the sailing party, while Maggie, after leav
ing her" father should slip off with Bob
Styles across the country.
At last I got dressed, and presented my
self before Maggie, blushing a great deal, I
bojieve, feeling very muce pinched about
the waist, and with an uncomfortable con
sciousness that my shirt sleeves were too
6bort ; or. wanting altogether.
Everything finished, in the way of toilet,
Bob Styles took me into his light wagon
and drove me over to D , by a secluded
route, and left me at. the hotel, where the
sailing party was to assemble. Several of
the pic-nicers were already there, and they
greeted my cavalier wilh cordiality (every
body knew Bob Siyles,) asking if he was
going with them. He told them he was not
Pressing business engagements you
know, and all that sort of thing. Deuced
6orry I can't go, '(hough. I just had time
to bring Miss Lee over, and now I'm off.
Mr. Bimby, this is "Miss Lee. 4MifeS
Withergall, Miss Lee and he rattled off a
long string of brief introductions, which
convinced me that but few of the company
were acquainted with the young lady whom J
1 was tbus personating a very fortunate
thin for the preservation of my disguise i
Mr. Bimby, a tall, legal-looting man,
with a book none, and eye glas and puffy
hair, seemed 10 be pleased with my per-
sonelle, and I overheard him whisper to '
Bob Styles, as be went out : i
'"Nice looking girl that Miss Lee." -j
"Yes," answered Bob, with a mis hiev-:
ous glance al me, "she is a nice girl, though
a little go ahead sometimes. Keep a little
look out on her, wilf you ?" then lower-
ing his voice said "not a bad match for
you, old fellow, she is rich."
"Is she V said Bimby, His interest deep
ening. ... -..'.
"On my honor," replied Bob. "Forty
thousand dollars in her own right."
"Day, day !" and he was gone.
Maggie Lee artful creature as she was,
bad told her father that the sailing party
was to assemble at another hotel and thither
he had taken her. . Having business in
D , he left her, there, merely 6aying he
would send the carriage for her at eleven
o'clock. She like a dutiful daughter, kiss
ed biro and bid him good bye, and before
a go
" .
be bad got a hundred rods, got into Bob
wagon, which bad driven up
,he bck door " Mr' Lee 'drove.from the
front,' and the old story of headstrong love
i anu p rejuuiceu age, was enacieu over
As for us ol the pic nic excursion, we
had a delightful sail down to the Grove, but
somehow, I couluT Lot enjoy it as I ought to
Lave done. When I walked on board the
boat, I fell awkward, as if everybody was
looking at me. I found Mr. Bimby, as I
bad suspected, a 'young and rising lawyer,
mighty in Blackslone and. his own opinion.
He insisted en paying my fare (the boat
was a regular excursion packet) and pur
chasing enough oranges, pears, and can
dies, to set up a street stand. Four or five
times I was on the point ef swearing at his
imprudent officiousness, but bit my toague
just in time to prevent my exposure! But
it was not with him that I found my role
hardest to play.
'No; the young ladies were the difficult
ones te deceive. For instance there w'as
one among them, a beautiful girl of seven
teen, just returned frpm boarding school,
who bad not seen Maggie Lee . for three
years. -Of coarse she was delighted to' see
me, when she iouod I was Maggie Lee ;
which by ihe way, did not occur until after
we had started, f She threw herself into my
arms, pulled my veil aside, and kissed roe
half a dozen times; in a manner taatamade
my finger ends tingle for an hour. It was
was, 1 felt as if I was obtaining goods un
der false pretenses,, and . lawyer Bimby
misht issue a warrant for my arrest on that
ground at any moment."
"A whole lot of crinbtihe'ih'en surrounded
, me, on the" upper deck of .the .boat, to the
; utter disgust of-Mr.-Bimby, and all the oth
er gentlemen. I " kept very, quiet, only
! speaking in mono'sjlables, in a falsetto
voice, but the others Lord bless yon ! how
they gabbled ! Under a strict promise of
iecresy the boarding school maiden who
had ki?ed me so 'affectionately, revealed
all her love affairs and. also became un
pleasantly confidential about other matters
innocent enough in - themselve.s, but not
customarily talked . of-between ladies ' and
gentlemen.
I was terribly embarassed, but it would
not do to give up then. As soon as icy
trick should become known, Bob Styles'
trick would come out, and news of that
kind travels fast in the country, he and his
ladylove would be telegraphed, und fol
lowed, before they could reach Philadel
phia, where Styles Jived and where the
knot was to be tied.
The river breeze wa9 very fresti where
we sat, and I noticed that several of the
ladies were glancing uneasily at .. me. 1
couldn't divine the reason, until Jennie, my
little Iriead from the boarding school, laid
her face dangerously close to mine, and
whispered : "My dear Maggie, your dress
is blowing, up terribly high your anklas
will be the town talk xith the gentlemen !"
Now 1 was conscious of having a very
-small foot for a man, and had donned a
pair of open worked stockings which came
nn nearlv to mv Waist, with a Dair of ai-
ters Borrowed from a servant tirl, in all of
which toggery my "running gear" looked
quite feminine and respectable but the
idea of the gentlemen talking about, my
ankles, and of being thus told by a young
lady who would have been frightened to j
death if 1 had told her the same thing yes-
terday, was too much for me, I burst into a j
sort of strangled laugh, whioh I could only ',
check by swallowing half of my filagree lace
edged handkerchief. The younp ladies all ;
looked al me in apparent astonishment at j
such a voice, and I wanted to faugh all the
more.. Fortunately Mr Burnby came to my
rescue at the moment and eded himself in
among the crinoline. , . .
- "May I sit here ?" he a-ked, pointing to
a low stool near me.
"Certainly,' I simpered in myjjigh fal
setto.. "Ab, lhank you," said Bimby with a
lackadaisical air, which nauseated me, as
coming from one man to another;
you
are as kind as you are fascinating !"
"You flatter me I" .;
-j- "I ? No. iudeed : praise of you cannot be
flattery, Miss Lee.
"Oh, sir, really, you area very naughty
man'' I said in the most feminine tone I
could command.
He cast a languishing' glance at me
through (he black lace veil and I fairly be
gan to lear for bis feelings.
We soon arrived at the grove, and found
our band, engaged before hand, awaiting
us. - Ol course dancing was the first amuse
ment and lawyer Binby led me out for a
schottiscbe It was hard at first to take a
laify's pari in the dance, but 1 soon got ac
customed to it A waltz was proposed, and
I resolved to have a little amusement at the
expense ot the unfortunate Mr. Bimby.
I had first made him purposely jealous
by dancing with two other young fellows,
one of whom I knew in my own character,
but who never suspected me as Maggie
Lee. The young man was a great woman
killer ; a sort of easy devil-may-care ras
cal, who made the ladies run alter him, by
his alternate wrath of action and coolness
of protestation I selected him to play off
against my legal admirer I allowed him
to bold on me very closely, and'occasion-j
ally looked at him with a hall fascinating j
expression. vvnen we stopped dancing,
he led me to my seat, keeping his arm
about my waist and I permitted it.
Having thus stirred Bimby up to wrath'
ful feats of valor, I a?ked one of the gen
tlemen to direct the musicians to play a
waltz. Bimby came immediately.
' Ahem a Miss Lee, shall I have the
honor of a trying a waltz with yon ?"
I smiled a gracious acquiescence, and
we commenced.
Now, I am an old stager at wal zing. I
can keep up longer than any non-profes-
sional dancer, male or female, whom I ever
met. As long as tne lacnuca. or t-cnoun-brunncm
rings in my ears, 1 can go on if
it is a year.
Not so Bimby. .He plead want of prac
tice, and said that he soon got dizzy.
"Aha, old boy," thought I, "1 II give you J
a iuru men .
But I only smiled, and said thai I should
probably gel tired first.
"Ob, yes!" he exclaimed. "Of course,
I can waltz as long as any one lady, but
not more
For the first three minutes my cavalier
did well. He went smoothly and evenly,
but at the expiration of thai time began to
grow warm ' Five minutes elapsed, and
Bimby's breath came harder and harder.
On be went, however, and I scorned to no
tice his slacking op at every round, when
we passed my seat. After some ten or
twelve minutes, the wretched man gashed
out between his steps : ' : ' "rt
''Ah,' a are yon not get getting "very
tired ?' !i ' -: - ': '1 . " '.
. "Ob.Jio, I burst f on b, as cooly as if, we
were riding around., the room ; 1 "Ob, no I
ta rrible to see. .
1 was bound to see him through, and we
kept at it. Bimby staggered and made
wild steps in all directions. ' His shirt'col
iar wilted, eyes protruded, his jaw hung
down ; and altogether, I saw he could not
hold out much longer.'
"Thi's is delightful," said I, "and you,
Mr .Bimby, waltz so easily'
"Puff puff ah puff yes oh puff
very, puff delightful," he gasped.
"Don't )ou think it 'ought to go a little
faster 1" '
lie rolled his eyes heavenward in agony.
"Ah, puff pull 1 don't ah puff -dou't
know." '
So when we- reared the mnsicians, I
sail!, "Faster, if you please faster, and
they played a fa whirlwind.
Poor Dimby threw his feei about like a
fast pacer, and revolved alter the manner
of a teetotum which was nearly run down.
At last he staggered a step backwards, and
spinning - eccentrically away Irom me,
pitched headlong in the midst of a bevy of
young ladies in a corner.
I turned round .
cooty,
young
walked to my
woman-killer
seat, and sent the
ifier a glasi of ice
water.
I cot some idea from this of the fun
young ladies have in tormenting us poor
devils of ihe o hr nex.
At this juncture' and befora Mr. Bimby
had time to apologize for his accident, lit
tle Jennie came running inio the pavilion
which served for a ball-room. As the came
pear, I perceived her hands wete clutched
tightly in her dress, and 1 positively shud
dered as she whispered to me
""Oh. Maggie, came and help me fix my
; kirl9 iney Ere com'n down "
What should I do? I was in agonv. A
cold perspiration broke out over my fore
head, (.wished myself a thousand miles
away, anathematized Bob Styles' masque
rading project inwardly, with fearful male
dictions. 1 said I was tired out could not Some
body else go ?
No, no'hing would do but lmust accom-
pany her to ihe house of a gentleman who
owned the grove, and assist her to arrange
her cjothing.
I So I went. .
j n hat if it should 5e necessary to re- j
jmove the greater part or her raiment?
j What if she would tell me to do some sew-
ing t What if iuahe midst of all the em- I
barrassmeni of being closeted with a bean- '
tifut girl of seventeen, in a state ol com
parative freedom from drapery, my real sex '
would be discovered. i
I felt as if an appoplectic fit would be a
fori un ate occurrence for me just then.
However, I nerved myself for the tak,
and accompanied Jennie to the house des- '
i ignated. An old lady showed us into her
! chamber, and Jennie, heaving a sigh of re
lief, let go, her dress. As she did so, a
pardon my blushes a petticoat fell to the
floor. She was about lo proceed, but I
1 alarmed her by a sudden and vehement
gesture. '
"Stop !'' 1 cried frantically, and forgetting
my falsetto ; ''don't nndress forGod's sake !"
She opened her great brown eyes to their i
widest extent. ' j
"A.-id why not?"
"Because I am I am a can yoo keep
a secret 1" ' ' j
"Why, yes how frightened yon look !" j
"Why what is the matter Maggie?
you why oh ! on ! oh !" i
And she gave three screams. I
"Hush, no noise, or I am lot!" I ex
claimed, putting my hand over her mouth.
"I swear I. mean no harm ; if I bad, I
would nol have stopped you. Don't you
see ?"' 1
She was all of a tremble, poor little
thing, bul 6he saw the force of my argu
ment. 1
"Oh, 6ir," she said, "I see you are a
man ; but what does it all mean ? Why
did you drees so ?"
I told ber the story as. briefly as possible
after exacting Irom ber a promise of the
most sacred secrecy.
I then went outside the door, and waited
till she bad arranged-her dress, when she
called me again. he had often heard el
me from Maggie and others and she want
ed 10 hear all the particulars ; so I sat down
by her and we had a long talk, which ended
in mutual feelings ot friendliness and old
acquaintanceship, quite wonderful for peo-
pie meezing ine nrsi time. Just as we
j.BUrlej ,0 go back to the pavillion. I said
I must relieve my rnind of just one more
burden.
"And what is that ?" she said.
"Those kisses. You thought I was Mag
gie Lee, or you would not have given ihem.
were very sweet, but I suppose I
must give them back.
And I did.
She blushed a great deal, but she didn't
resist, only when 1 got through, she glanc
ed up and said :
. "I think you are real naughty anyhow."
When we returned, I found lawyer Bim
by quite recovered from his dizziness an tr
ail hands ready for supper, which was serv
ed in the bar room. 1 eat between Bimby
and Jennie ; and made love lo both in torn ;
to one as Maggie Lee and to the other as
myself. After supper at which 1 astonish
ed a . great rnany by eating ra'her more
heartily than yoaugjadies generally do", we
had. more' dancing and 1 hinted pretty
strongly to Mr, Bimby that, I should like to
-try another waltz. ... ; v , ' -
I V.1 QJ-fcJ V-O-t W1m t im, mm.v. I... i .i. i. .11
with my own kind, I soon abandoned the"
pleasure and persuaded Jennie to stroll off
into the moonlight wilh me. We found the
grove a charming place, lull of picturesque
little corners and rustic seats; and great
rocks leaning out over the river. On one
side of these latter a little bench was plac
ed in a nook sheltered from the wind and
from ike sight;
Here we sat, in the full flood of themoon
light and having just had dinner, I felt
wonderfully in need ol a sogar. Accord
ingly I went back to a little stand near the
ball room and purchased several of .the
wonderful woman who sold refreshment,
then returning to the 6eats by the rocks, I
gaVe up all cause or fears for my incognito,
and revelled in the pleasures of solitude
the fragrance of , my segar the moonlight
and little Jennie's presence. .
, How long we. sat there, heaven knows.
We talked and laughed; and sang, and
looked into each other's eyes, and told for
tunes ; and performed all the nonsensical
operations common amongst young' people
juai falling in love with each other, and
might have remained there till the month
of August in the year of our Lord eighteen
hundred and fif;y-6even, (or aught I know,
had not the carriages been e.it lo convoy
us home and the rest of the company be
gan to wonder where we were.
This wonder begat questions, the ques
tions fears, and fears search, beaded by the
valiant Bimby. They called and looked
and listened, but our position down in the
sheltered nook among the rocks prevented
ihem from hearing us or us them.
At length they hit upon our path, and all
came along in single file, until they got to
the open space above.
Then lhay saw a sight.
1 was spread out in a free and easy po
sition, my bonnet off, and my hair some
what towzled up. One foot rested on the
ground, and the other on a rock, about level
with my head, (regardless of ankles this
time,) and there I sat puffing away in a
very nnlady like manner.
Jennie was sitting close beside me with
' her head almost on my shoulder, and her
imill waist encircled by my arm. Just as
the parly came along above I laughed out
in a loud muscular voice
"Just to think of poor what's his name
there, Bimby I Suppose he knew that he
had been making love to a man V ' '
"Hush!" cried Jennie. -"Look! there
he is and oh' my gracious! there is the
whole company !"
"Yes we are fairly canght." It was of
no use for me to clap on my bonnet and as
sume my falsetto again they had all seen
too much for that. Besides, by this time,
Bob Styles and Maggie Lee were doubtless
"one flesh," and my disguise was of no
further importance, so I owned up and told
ihe siory. Lawyer Bimby was in a ; rage.
He vowed lo kill roe, and even squared off,
but the rest of the party laughed at him so
unmercifully, and suggested that we shoold
waltz it oul together, that he finally cooled,
end slunk away to take some -private con
veyance to D
Bob Styles and I are living in a double
hou?e together. ' He often says he owes
his wife to mj masquerading, but he
doesn't feel under any obligations to me, for
I owe my wife to the same thing.
N. B. My wife's name is Jennie.
The Mariposa Star relates lhal, at a pub
lic dinner, a man, while relating something
to the company about two Chinese women,
said : "I declare they were the ugliest
women I" have seen anywhere." There
happening two maiden ladies present of no
remarkable beauty, the speaker who was a
little misty, began to think he had made a
mess of it, and that they would imagine he
was alluding to them ; so to put matters
straight, as he thought, be added : ' The
present company excepted." Roars of
laughter ensued, and in a few moments
both speaker and ladies had vanished.
A Ntw Name for "Old Bocrbon." A
man about town tells us that the recent
"elevation" of a distinguished Tennesseean
has led to a change in alchoholic nomen
clature in this city.' He heard a conversa
tion between an anxious enquirer after ' 'Old
Bourbon" and a bar tender, which ho re
ports :
Anxions Enquirer (Approaching bar,)
;'0!d Bourbon ?" .
Bar -Under. "Don't live here haven't
seen him don't know him."
Anx Et,q. "I waul some Old Bourbon
whisky!"
Bar-tender "Just oat sir got some very
fine Andy Jbfoison f!
The unlucky customer accepts the sub
stitute, :moibo, and becomes so "incohe
rent" that he can't remember the name of
Gideon Welles.
The following composition is paid to have
been read in one of the schools of a neigh
boring village :
'Twas a calm 6till night ; the moon's
pale light shone soft o'er hill and dale.
Not a breeze stirred ; not a dog stirred ; not
a horse stirred ; not a man stirred ; not an
owl stirred ; not a hog sirred , not a cow
stirred ; not a cat stirred ; not a hen stirred;
not even a goose stirred. .
Here the teacher interrupred with the ob
servation, that ibe composition appeared to
him to. relate more to agriculture than
moonlight. ,
"Ir Gabriel happens to light among the
New England Puritans, there'll be ne res-!
Lira aau Dkath How briet the distance1
between life and death ! Life Is but 'the
vestibule of death, and our pilgrimage on
earth is but a. journey to the grave. The
pulse thai denotes our., life slay beats oar
death march ; the blood which 'Circulates
through our bodies, while it flows" with Vhe
tide of life, floats them onward to deeps of
death. Oh how closely allied is death to
life! Trees do but grow thai they maybe
felled. Empires rise and flourish but to de
cay ; they rise to fall. 1 Death is the black
perva&t who rides behind the character of
life. Death reachetb throughout this world,
and has stamped all terrestial things with
the broad arrow ot the grave. Bat blessed
be God, there is a place where death is not
life's equal following bard its track as eve
ning shades the sun's meridian, nor life's
companion like a brother sticking fast and
cleaving . close. There life reigns alone;
there death knells are never tolled, Bless
ed land above the skies ! - To reach it -we
roust die ; but if after deaih, we' obtain a
glorious immortality, then "to die is gain."
C. H. Spurgeon. - , i
, .
WoMAsr. Very intelligent, women : we
find by observation are seldom beaatiful.
The formation of their features, and partic
ularly their forehead, is more or less mas
culine. Miss Lander was rather pretty and
feminine in the face, but miss-Sedgwick;
Miss Pardue, Miss Leslie, and the late Anoa
Mariah and Jane Porter, the. cotiraryv
One ol the Misses Porter bad a forebead as
bigh as that of an intellectual manj We
never knew of a very talented man. who was
admired lor his personal beauty. Pope was
awlul ugly ; Dr. Johnson was no better ;
Miradean was the ugliest man in all France,
andyelhewas the greatest favorite-wish
the ladies. Women more frequently; prize
men lor their sterling qualities of the mind,
than men do women. Dr. Johnson chose
a woman who bad scarcely any idea above
an oyster. He thought her the loveliest crea
ture in existance, if we may judge by the
inscriptions Jbe left on her tomb. -
t
Bbuise or THt Solk Bruise ot the sole
of the foot, is the consequence of the animal
treading on a stooe or rail iron ; the result
is, extravasation ef blood within, the articd-"
latory surface of the' sensitive and insensi
tive lamina; ; the accident is almost sure to
result in lameness. .!"'.
Trentmeid Keep the foot constantly 'wet
with cold water; excuse' the animal from
duty, and give him a chance to 'breathe
pure air, have patience, and the horse 1 will
soon get well. " ' ' ' ri
. Should the patient appear to suFer ranch
pain, give him twenty drops of tinclnre of
aconite every four hours, until relief is ob
tained ; and feed him on bran mashes, al
lowing, at the same time, a small quantity
of bay. ; 1 . - : .1 ;
Death from Hydrophobia A sad - case
of death, from the bite of. a dog, occurred
last evening in the city. A little girl named.
Mary Bingenham, (we are informed) resid
ing in Boas's Row, Herr street, was bitten
some weeks since (nine weeks it is said)
by a dog, supposed lo be rabid. On Saturday
afternonn, or evening, she exhibited unmis
takable symptoms of hydroph$ia, which
the best medical skill failed to arre-t, and al
ter su fie ring the terrible agony of the dis
ease until Sunday evening, she died. Is it
not time that some expedient should de. re
sorted to by the authorities to rid the city ef
the hundreds of worthless curs that infest
its streets ? " ' '
The New British Ministir Sir Freder
ick Broce, who succeeds to the British mis
sion at Washington, is known to 'not a few
of our older statesmen, from his connection
with the Special Mission of Lord Ashberton,
twenty odd years ago. He is also known
from his family relationship, as the brother
of the late Lord Klein, Governor-General of
the Canadas, and the late Gen. Broce, Gov.
ernor of the Prince of Wales. Alike as to
his official training, his experience in vari
ous missions both here and in different
States of South America, his co-operation
with our representatives in the East, a
British Minioter to China, and the liberal
sympathies of bit family. Sir Frederick
Bruce may be expected to bring to his mis
sion such requisites of; character aod such
antecedents, as will make that mission ac
ceptable to the two Governments. Ia per
sonal amiability, the new Minister, we be
lieve, is not excelled by Lord Lyons. .As
he comes here with the assurance of Lord
Russell emphasised as that assurance is
in the Loudon Times that be will receive
from the President of the United States aud
from the Secretary of State the -came official
courtesy extended to, and freely acknowf.
edged by, his predecessors. Pittsburg Post.
'" :
Various instances bare beeu cited .to
prove how lazy a man may be and live ;
bul it remains for a Michigander te cap the
di nar! One hot day during the heated
terms ot last summer one Mr. F , of
Jackson County, was observed to throw
himself down on the grass nnderthe spread
ing branches of a shade-tree,- and to ex
claim emphatically to himself, "There !
baeaihe if yon want lo I shan't !"
Recrcitivu Dialogci. "John where Is
your master to day I" -
"Oh 1 he's off recruiting." . .
"Recruiting, i he? that's good I where
is he recruiting ?" -t I. -
"Up in the White Mountains, reern'uir.T
r hit health." ' :
"Ah ! he's sick, is be 7 Wha the mi-