The star of the north. (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, March 16, 1864, Image 1
r on r j i 11. Ii. JACOSr. riiblisber.j Truth and Right -God and unr Country. Two Doilas per Inna,. VOLUME 15. BLOOMSBURG. COLUMBIA-COUNTY, PA., WEDNESDAY MARCH 16, 1SG4. NUMBER 21. r ij jl A FORTJIIVE FOR ALL! EITHER J1US OSt H03IEX t NO HUMBUG, but an ENTIRELY NEW thing. Only three months'ini'iis country, f No clap trap operation to gull the public, ' but a genuine money making thing ! Read ' the Circu ar of instruction once on!, and you will understand it perfectly. A Lady hat just written to me that the is making as high as TWENTY DOLLARS SOME DAYS! giving instructions in this art. Thousands ot Soldier are making money rapidly at it. ft is a thin; that takes better than auy thing ever offered. You can make money with it home or abroad on , steam boats or railroad car, and in . the country or city. You wiil be pleased in pursuing it, not only because it will jield a handsome income, but also in conse baence of the general admiration which it elicits, h id pretty much ail profit. A mere trifle is necessary to-start with. There is scarcely one person oat of ' tbousaads who ever pa's any attention to advertisements of this kind, thick'mg ihey are humbugs. Consequently thoi-e who da end for infractions will have a broad field to make money fn. There is a class of persons in this world who would think that because they have been humbugged out of a dollar or so, that everything that is advertised is a humbug. Consequently the trj no more. -The person who suc ceeds is the one that keeps on trying until tie hits something that pays nun. This art cost me on thousand dollars, ad I expect to make money out of it and sill who purchase the art of rae will do the same. One Dollar sent to me will insure he prompt return of a crd of instruction in the art. The money wUl be ntuinsd to those not satisfied. Address WALTER T. T1NSLEY, No. 1 Park Place, New York. Oct. 21, 1863. 3m. IMPORTANT TO LADIES. Fr. Har "vey's Female Pills have never jet failed in rrmovwg difficid ies arising from obstruc tion, cr stoppage of nature, or in restoring the sysiem to perfect healtn when sorTei ing from spinal affections, prolapsus, Uteri, ihe whites, or other weakness of the uter ine organs. The-pills are perfectly barm less on the cons-titulion, and may be taken 1y ihe most delicate" female without c aus ing lislre.- the same time they act like a rharru by strengthening, invigorating and restoring the system to a healthy condition nd by bringing on the ruomh'y period with regularity, wo matter irom what caus es the obstruction may arise. They should however, NUT be taken during the first . i'hiee -or (out months ol pregr.aucy, though sule at any other time, as miscarriage would be the result. Each box contains 0 pills. Price 51.. Dr. Harvey'& Treatise cn diseases of Fe Bales, pregnancy, miscarriage, Barrenness steriiiiy, Reproduction, and abuses of Na tare, and emphatically the. ladies' Piivate Medical Advuer, a pamphlet oi' 64 page sent free to. any address, bi.v rents re united to pay postage. The Pills and book w ill be sent by mail when tfe.-ired, securely sealed, and prepaid by J. BRYAN, M. D. General Ag'i. . No. 76 Cedar street, New Yoik. fiTSold by all ihe principal druggists. So?. 25, 1863 !y. BELL'S SPECIFIC PILLS Warrated -in all cases. Can be relied on! Never fail -to cure! Do not nauseate I Are speedy in action ! No change of diet required ! Do not interfere with business pursuits! Can be oed without detection ! Upward of 20Ocnres the past month- one of them Tery severe cases. Over one hundred phy sicians have Used them in their practice, and all speak well of their efficacy, and ap : prove their composition, which is entirely vegetable, and harmless on lhe system. 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" They will be sent by mail, securely seal ed, and confidentially, on receipt of iLe money, by J. BRYAN, M. D. No. 76 Cedar street, New York, Consnlting Physic'ans for the treatment of Seminal, Urinary, Sexaal, and Nervous Diseases, who will eend, free to all, the following valoable work, ia sealed eo- - relorse : - " ' THE FIFTIETH THOUSAND-DR. CELL'S TREATISE on self-abase, Prema ture decay, impotence and los of power. 3XS2I diseases, seminal weakness, nightly emissions, genital debility, &c, kc.,"a paisphlet ol 64 pages, conummg impor tant advice m tbe afflicted, and which tLoclJ Ib read by every suflerer, as the -,- a i.i c-.ir,: in the severest stages is c"lair.Iy set forth. Two etaap retired to i v. iV 0 - OF :OT8 H-OHSvEE". PUBLISHED ETERT WEDNESDAY BT AY3I. II. JACOliY, Office on Iain St., 3rd Square below Market. TWiMS-Tlvn D'AiUr. nr annum if naul within six mouths Irom the time of subscri bing : two dollars and fifty cents tf not paid within the year. No subscription taken lor i a le.-s period than six months ; no disc-on-; tinuance permitted until alia rrearages are j paid, unless-atthe option of the editor j : 1 lie let ms of advertising will te afollows : i i One square, twelve lines, three times, ad Ort ' livery subsequent insertion, ..... 25 ; One square, three months, ...... 3 00; j Oi o year, 8 CO : For the Star o the North. THE SEASONS. Spring is the time wheu flowers Bedeck the youthful path, That scatters iar those gloomy hours, Caused by the stormy blast. Oh ! pleasant Spring to thee, - Our songs will we upraise And as thy bounteous pleasures flea Our songs we'll not delay; But when spring pleasares all depart, Are there no others near ? Yes, Summer with a cheerful heart, Our youthful path will cheer. But Summer, too, with all its charm Will, like the Spring, decline, And all its pleasures and alarms Will cheerfully resign. Then Auinirm with its cooling breeze Wid fan our Uinting'brow, When pleasant Summer's verdant leaves Are dropping Irom their bough. But Autumn, like the Summer bofcer, To cooler seasons cede, And long but cheering winter hours We'll hail with, noble deed. Ah ! Win er yet may have a pang, At present vol peiceived, For coid and icy letters bang, Which we cancot relieve. But Winter p'easores must depart As warmer days appear, Thus as revolving seasons pars We greet am ther year. Tumbler. Asbury, March, 2, 1864. gealual gi:o. s. mcclellax. A Page cf History. There is no passage in history which is more deeply interesting, ione on which the pen cf the his.orian will dwell with more eloquence, than that which relates to the condition of the United States, its army : and its capital, on the last Jay of August, : 1862. Ihe report of General McClellan now for the first time collects and mukes clear the various incidents which are to fill this important page in onr national record. We regret that the Congressional edition, the Republican Record edition, and cthr cheap editions of the report are incomplete ami inaccurate, ommitting eutirely oine portions which present the most interest ing and important view of the relations of General McClellan to the Cabinet, ihe ar my and Ihe country. The edition publish ed under General McCiellan's authority is accurate The omission was doubtless ur. -intentional, some pages of copy having fallen from a corupooitor's desk, or been mislaid, in the government printing- office, and the re primers who have followed that edition have produced imperfect copies. General M Clellan was not at that time removed from ihe command of the army, but the army was removed from his co.n mand by ati ingenious device of the War Department. He was treated with con temptuous indifference by Gen. Halleck. When ordered to abandon the Peninsula be was so anxioos for an interview with Gen. Halleck. and a free consultation, that he proceeded from Harrison's BarXj the near est telegraph station, and there finding that the wires were broken under wa'.er, he crossed Chesapeake Bay, arriving at Cher ry tbue Inlet, en the east shore, about miduight. He immediately telegraphed to Washington, informiug Gen. Halleck that he had come all this distance to consult with him, and requested him to come .to the War Department end of the wire. Gen. IJ , 1 1 a L- mm. and int a hrip.f and mma . ... . , flanara. M'Clellan was aeciphenng this reply (it was their private cipher), the operator in formed him that Gen. Halleck had left the Washington office without ao much as say ing good night, and that further telegraph ing was useless ? General M'Clellan re turned to his array, brought it away from the scene of its noble exploits, stood him self, last man of all, on the deserted ground, and left the Peninsula with the conviction that a great error was in progrees. at Wash ington. At Fori Monroe he wrote a dis patch to Gen. Halleck, mournfully eloquent, speaking of the services of his brave array and begging Halleck to recognize them. He said : Please say a kind word to my army, that I can report to them ia general orders in regard to their conduct at Yorktown, Wiliiaiasburgh, West Point, Hanover Court House, and on the Chickahominy, as 'well as in regard to the seven days and the re cent retreat. No one "has ever said any thing to cheer them bat myself. Say noth ing about me. Merely give my men and will do jou much gQQl and will atreDgthea you much with them if you issue a hand some order for them in regard to what they have accomplished. They deserve it." Verily they did deserve it. They were an army of heroes, brought home from fields of as gallant fighting as ihe world ever saw. But there was no reply to the request of their general. Triey received no kind word, no cheer, no thanks. They were hurried home, to be hurled into the jaws of death under a commander selected to dis plp.ce a general who had hitherto, shared their fortunes. M'Clellan came to Alexan dria. What was hi position and relation to the army ? He himselfdid not know. The process ol depriving him of his com mand was going forward. Pope's Army of Virginia absorbed the Army oi the Potomac. Fur seven days that noble army disappears from history. It had no exi-tence. Mc Clellan was left at Alexandria, still the commanding general of the Army ol the Potomac, but there is an eloquence winch every heart mut Ifel in his simple narra tive ot what remained to him of his ouce magnificent command. . Leas than one hun dred men, many of. these invalids and wounded men, were the sole repiet-enta- lives ct the Army of the Potomac. jo rand j neglecting and even insulting him. The is the contrast which this narrative allords ' President and Secretary of War had ysnld betweun the days which preceded and ed to the radical politicians who were those which followed the 1st of August, ihat ; hounding the young general, and on the it may be suspected as intentional that the ' evening of the 30lh, when the War narrative is omitted from ne incomplete Department issued its order, Wahington ediuo'.s ol the Report. But we preter to ' radicalism was jubilant, and all believed regard it as accidental, especially in view of other mid numerous errors- w hich occur in the same editions. The secret history of political marasavr ing at Wellington at this lime wonl i, if ma-Je put-he, explain th whole responsi bility ur trie iii.-airous campaign ol Pope. The Hood of our thousands lost on those . fatal plains of. Manassas is chargeable di- J rectly on ihe iniriuues of Washington poli-1 ticiais of the radiccl pany, who only de sired to r move M'Clellan from the public view, bectiut-e they leared that the splendor of lus genius, the devotion of his army, the nobtene.-s of his character, might bring him belore the people as a tit man to lead the w hoie nation through war to peace and under the Constitution. For this ihey in triiueJ, and lor this they have wbsied thou sands ol young lives, poured out on fruitless battlefields. xr,d some of this history rosy be recovered fiom a close examitmiaiiou of the di.-patche-and ordr issued at Wash ington, between the ZiJth of August and ttie 2J eptemtpr, 1862. Five days brief time,' but lined with great events. The politi cians had succeeJed. M'Cieilan was de based and disgraced. He su-ks Halleck for specific order as to what he is to do at Alexandria. Halleck replies, giving geueral orders and fiudi..g fault. "Amuuition , and particularly lor artillery, must be immedi ately sent lorward to Centervilie for Gen. Pope. It must be done with alt possible di!patch," telegraphs Halleck, al 1 45 o'clock, on the 3Jth. M'Cieilau replies at 2 10. 1 1 know uolhin ol the calibre of Pope's artillery . All 1 can do is to direct my ordinance officer to load up all wagons sent to him." Halleck finds fault that Geo. Frank Im was not sooner sent forward M Clellan replies that Franklin had no transportation, and finally marched without wagons, and of course without aojumiiou or subsistence. rben Gentral M'Clellan sends a dispa ch, which will be memorable in ail future limes : "I cannot expres to yoa the pain and mortification I have experienced to day jn istemng to ihe distant sound of the firing of my men. As I can be of no fur.her use here. 1 respectfully ask that, it tnere is a probability of the conflict bein renewed to-morrow. I may be yerniitied to gj to the of r,atti with mv staff, merely to be with my own men, if nothing wore ; ihey. wi I fi -hi none the worse for mv being with "3 " them. If it is not deemed best io intrust me with the command even of rnv own array. I simply ak to be permitted io share their j The hou,s thftt wenl ro!llrS over lbe hills fate or. the field of battle. iYruse reply to 'ue exultation of men who had regarded this to niht;' 1 themselves as doomed, but who now wel- No sleep that long night in the little camp at Alexandria. Every moment they ex pected the answer permitting them to share the fate of the army a fate which the wis est soldiers were looking io with the -most solemn apprehensions. But no answer came. Not even the common courtesy of a reply was given, till the next day came HJleck's dapatch : 'T cannot answer without seeing the j President, as Geu. Pope is in command, by his orders, of the department." It was too much trouble for any one in Geu. Halleck's office to send to the Piesi dent the night before, or even that morn ing, and say, "The fata of the nation hangs in the baUuce ; M'Clellaii asks leave to go io the field as a volunteer ; may he go But the insults were not yet ended. This same day, the 3Ut August, Halleck tele graphs M'Clellan : "As many as possible of the new regi ments shouldgbe prepared to take the field. Perhaps some more should be seut to the vicinity of Chain Bridge.' "M'Clellan replies that it is Gen. Casey's province to attend to the new regimeuts, and Gen. Barnard's to order others to Chain Bridge. "By the War Department order 1 have no right to give them orders.'' Here was one of those very common Washing ton complications under the present man agement. I have not seen the order," re plies Halleck. It was the last iusolt of the War DeDartment. that order, devised infhe ' same spirit which a few weeks later dicta- ted the order seadid; the victor of South Mountain and Antietam to report at Tren ton. The order was decisive. ' General M'Clellan commands that4 portion ol the Army of the Potomac that has not been cent forward to Gen. Pope's command.' How they must have chuckled at the War De partment over the keen wit of this order. It was issued on the afternoon of August 30ih, and after the receipt irom McClellan of his dispatch of 2.10 p. m., saying : 'I have no sharp-shooters except the guard around my camp. I have now sent off every man but those, and will now send them with the train as you direct. I will also send my only remaing squadron of cavalry with -Gen. Sumner. I can do no more. You now have evety man of the Army of the Potomac who ii within my re ich." Certainly it was a 6harp satire, very keen and biting wit, which dictated, after that last sentence, the words of the order : Gen. M'Cle'.lan commands that portion of the Army of the Potomac that has not been snt forward !" But the moruing of ihe 3lst bronght to Washington some startling intelligence. Halleck had been for four days buy re ducing M'Clellan's position, finding fault, that there was truth in Pope's dispatches, ami that he was sweeping the rebel army with the bosom of des. ruction. McClellan was down, and a great victory was won by Pope. Man who were in Washington that night will remember the triumph of t!ie radical faction. But the next day a change came over the spirit ot the radical aream. Halleck telegraphs M'Clellan that he had not seen the order, and he evidently begins to think that possibly they have been a lit tle too fast in Washington. The new from Pope is not rose eolored lo-day. M'Clellan begins to loom up again in the minds of the managers. "You will retain the command of evey thing in this vicinity not temporally belouj- ing to Pope's army in the field. I beg of you to assist me in this crisis with your ability and experience. I am entirely tired out." So says Halleck at 10 p. rn., on the 30th. Well he might be tired. The experiment had failed The w hole plan of abandoning the peninsular campaign and disgracing M'Clellan was proving a di-astrons failure, The "ability and experience" of M'Clellan wa now w orth thinking of once more. Al half past eieveo that night M'Clel an tele graps Halleck that Pope is defeated, the road filled wiih stragglers coming towards Alexandra, that Pope's right is entirely exposed, and he fears the gravest conse quences. He adds : "To speak frankly and the ucuiion requires it thkke apfkirs io bk a total ABSENCE OF BRAINS, : my "I shall be up all night," says M'Clellan from Alexandria. "I shall be up ail night." says Halleck from Washington. It was a fearful night. The morning brought truth from Pope's army and wisdom to the heads in Warhington. M'Clellan is sent for. All day dit-astroua intelligence comes in. M'Clellan is ordered to take command of the delences of Washington, but his orders are limited. They do cot yet dare to lace ! the indignation of lhe radical politicians, who would have seen Washington destroy ed rather than M Clellan restored. But the morning of the 2d leaves '.hern in doubt no longer. The hope of the nation hangs on ,he man they had disgraced and ridiculed on the 30: h. The President and Halleck "ek M'Clellan at his house, and commit everytaing- to nis nanus, uirecung uim io S000t ar,d rneel he returning army. .I 1. t"l l 1 . I A . The cronsing of the Potomac that day by M'Clellan is a scene lor long remembrance. J comeu orur. wisaom, genius, -au.my aim exeprience," all which they had proved and known this has been described and is recorded. How the General look the shat tered army, restored its morale, led it into Maryland, and in louruen days won the victories rf South Mountain and Antietam ; hov Halleck complained of his slow march to South Mountain, and radicals every where growled sullenly over the salvatisn of the capital by M'Clellan tbis is already history. Jour, cf Commerce. Crbcption. The Albany Statesman (Abo lition) says "every branch of government seems to be reeking with corrution, and what is still worse, praying hypocrites are preaching against exposing these rascali ties, lest it may 'hurt the war.' " Whks the cold wind blows, take care of yocr nose, that it don't get froze, and wrap up your toes in warm woolen hose. The above, w suppose, was written in prose, by some one who knows, the effect of cold snows. If unfortunately on find yoorself riditig the devil of anger, yoa had betler ride the brute balf dead, till be fall down, that yon may not have to mount him again for a quarter ol: a year. When we see two yocng lovers kneel ing at tht alter, the heart's wish is that they may resemble the married in Heaven, who, 4 according to Swedeabera'a vision, alwaja melt into one angel. The Democracy JInst flare flew Leaders. We have contended ever since the com mencement of the present civil war. tht the country would not enjoy peace again nor the Union be restored until the demo cratic party should succeed in the elections and once more wield the power of the Gov ernment. We have also contended that the party would never succeed while the leaders made it a war parly, and so far our predictions have proved true. The Democratic party has been led for Ihe last'few years by men, who did not care a straw whether the principals laid down by the parly at its conventions fend ed to the coniiuuanca of our tree institutions or to their overthrow and the establishment of a monarchy. They never asked the question -whither are we tending V nor did thev care so long as they saw a chance for office, thro' the adoption of a wisha washa, non-coramitial platform, upon which they could salely ride in to the Leaven of a good fat ofiice. If we will look back but a few years we I a will not fail to discover the class of men I who are always on hand at Democratic j come my wife." i tutions. Conventions, and who Bhaped the policy of j Of course she would; who would not? Third, That the war has been conducted the party regardless ol principle, eo thai the j and away went the happy pair to be uni- i 10 ba,ltJ up a P81" at ,he ePnse of blood policy adopted gave them a prospect of re. j ted in the closo bonds of wedlock. 1 treasure and lime, and at the hazard of taining or getting into office. We believe j The sertvee was speedily performed, and ; a Permanent eeperation of the sections, in itial ihe men, with a few exceptions, who-; the unexpected balanco of our soldier's j a8mnch a em,nent tniIitary officers hava claimed to be most intensely Democratic, j bounty safely invested for the benefit of his j been dePrived of command for merely par- aud who had been supported and paid the new and youthful bride. Who would ad best by the Democratic party, proved to be ver;i-e in the papers for a partner for lif- the most laiihles when the day of trial j with specifications annexed whun by re came, and were the first to show the white . enlisting, and getting a furlough and the feather when the minions of fanatici.m bounty, one can suit himself off hand, with made a vigorous charge upon the Demo- crane ranks. So long as thty were permit- f ted to shape ihe policy of the party, and so long as patriotism consisted in the adop tions cf resolutions , they were eo Iar as outward aouearauca was concerned, esne- cially "sound," but when .the lime come an aPPelil8 ,or ". l?e w9 anxious to , ce;itea in tne history of any people, for for them to show ihe.r faith by their works j LeeP P hiH character for honesty, even J which the Pre.ident has, in many instan they proved to be perfectly rotten. w"iIe e!,j'il'S his thorite meal; and while ces, title, the cases of Cameron,) declared When the day of trial came when the Union was to be saved through compromise, or destroyed bv Civil War. thev either foil i over into the Abolition party, or standing non-commital, showed themselves to be both cowards and traitors cowards, be cau.-e they dare not maintain the riht, and traitors", because they submitted to, and deletided the wrong. , These men still claim to be Democrats, and so far have succeeded in engrafting their policy and wak kneed policy upon j every Democratic Platform adopted by our j fc'ale Conventions, and so tar lae uemocray have been overwhelmed with disgraceful defeats. This fact convinces us, that the party must have new leaders. Men must be selected as leaders ol the party, who will boldly proclaim lhe will and wishes of the masses men who wiil advocate Peace, as a means of restoring ihe I'nioti and wid prove upon every 6tnmp throughout ihe broad land, that, "WAR . IS DISUNION, i FINAL ETERNAL." With such men, and cnlj such, fr leaders, the Democracy will ultimately succeed and then, and then, and not until then, will the Uuton he restored. iiajj" Florida Eipfdilioc. Mr. John Hay is a fresh and fair youth of some twenty or more summers, who writes excellent verses arid has flourished for two or three years in the executive mansion at Washington as a pritae secretary of the President. Hj was esteemed of the better sex as a proper ladies' man, and might with due change of garb have passed creditably as a lady's maid. The ot:-.er day he was made a major, and departed for the South for what precise quarter was to the puhlic unknown till a d3y or two ago, a steamer from Hilton Head brought the heart-sickening announcement that a thousand brave men had lalle'i amid the swamps of Florida in a fruitless attempt to make succe.-ful a political expedition of which this young man was the leader, and his master, Mr. Lincoln, the inspiration. Gen. Gilmore nominally led the expediuoti.but Hay had full authority for its direction. Its object was the occupation of Florida, with a view to lhe reconstruction of that state, after the fashion indicated in the President's proc lamation of December last. Tho expelitioa was confronted ty an unexpected and su perior lorce of rebels, and was repubed so signallythat our brave soldiers had, added to lhe poignancy of their grief at defeat, the bitter reflection lhat they were poorly led, in a militarv sence, while the political ob ject for which they died was so contempt ible and so cruel as almost to surpass be lief. Nothing has yet happened on the dark side of our arms which will so effect- ually shake a country's confidence in our rulers as this lamentably wicked move ment. I rT. Y. World. Mr Frank Moore has made and caused lobe published a book called "Lyrics of Loyalty," which is certainly profane enough lo be deemed a loyal book by all the howl ing Dervishes in lhe land. The following is a specimen : "A prophet's soul in fire came down To live in the voice of Old John Brown. The eye of God looked down and saw A just life Lt by an unjust lavo The poetry and the morality of the book are on a par, and both as bad as bad can be. The idea that an old Kansas horse- ilit.f kn,nt,r an1 .aeiBCin was tk nmnhft V u r , 7 l t : r" of the Lord, is entirely worthy of the ie lifrirtn an A mnralitv of the loval leauuers. I o J . J Every man wishes to have bis own indi vidual farm or lot, but the crave yard is the common lot. 1 Soldier's Courtship. A soldier cf the town ol Berkley, Mass , who hajusi re.enlisted lor the war, was coming to the city with a pocket full of money, when he made the acquaintance. in the car, of a good looking grl Irom the lfX uPon certair" questions of law, or expe same place. Her dress, however, was to .diRC?r which have arisen during the pro his mind not exactly the thing, and he made ' eress of tbis Breal war lhere is a tolerable bold to atk her why she did not wear a ' CtJrtainty about some ihing which favors tetter one. ' i the idea of a change in the management of "For the very good reason," said slie, i "that 1 have none." ''How would you like to have a new t out, Miss !" "Nothing would suit rae belter," was the reply. 'Come then wih me," said Our kind hearted soldier, as he handed her from the cars. Suiting the action to the word, he took her to various shops and gave her the choice of the best fabrics for dresses. i He then purchased her a nice fashionable I cloak and hat, and not satisfied with that ; crowned his gensrosity by buying for ber '; gold watch and chain. "And now," said he, "t want you to be- I no delays and uncertainties, sacii as all sol- diers must submit to who tur;i a deal ear to Uucle Abe's order. An ar.ocdow worth laughing over is told of a man who had an infirmity as well a was anxious making a Dill wita his merchant, as lae story t'oes, and when his back was turned, lhe honeat bu'er PP a codfish up un uer nis coat tan. lint tne garment was to short to cover up the theft, and the mer-! chant perceived it. "Now, said the customer anxious to i re prove ail opportunities to call attention to his virtues, '-Mr. merchant, I have traded with you a great deal, and have paid you promptly and honestly, havn'l I V 'Oh, yes, answered the merchant, I make uo complaint. Weil,' said the customer, 'I always in sisied that honesty is the best policy, and the beet rule to live and die by.' 'That's so .-epiied the merchant. And the customer turned lo depart. 'Hold on friend,' cried the merchant, 'speaking of honety, I have a tit of ad. vice to give you. Whenever you come to trade again you hud be:ter wear a longer coat, or steal a shorter codfish. Gainiso Strength A student in one of our State colleges was charged by one of the faculty with having had a barrel of ale .... . deposited in his room, con'rary of coursi to 1 ' - the rules and usages. He received a sum mons to appear belore lhe President, who said : 'Sir, I am informed th.t you have a bar rel ol ale in your room.' 'Yes, fir.' ' el, what explanation can you make .... ., ,. , , . . . . . , ti!l tri.4 lupl i m Kir mo nln .innii t. H W ell, the lacl is, sir, my physician ad vised me to try a litile ale each day as a tonic, and not wishing to stop at various places where it is retailed, I cor.cli.dei to have a barrel laken lo my room.' 'Indeed, and have you derived any bene fit from it V 'Ah, yes, sir, when lhe barrel was first taken to my room, two weeks ago, I coold scarcely lilt it, now 1 can carry it with ease.' We believe the witty student was dis charged without reprimand. At least he ooirhi to have been Insank Wives Ati attempt was made to incorporate a clause in the conscriptiou act which would more than likely secure the seats, and lei them fresh from the people exemption of ail married men. An amend- take the helm, men who will not forget that ment was offered lhat husbands of insane j they are teponsible, men who will not con wive be exempted from the operations of trive new-fangled oaths whilst they are ol ihe coriscript law, but the bachelor Rep resentatives thocght that each married man would be presenting his "rib" as insane, thus throwing the burden of war upon the eiugle, the suggston was not entertained. Didn't Last. A country editor received a rerniuance, with a request to sejd his oarer as long as lbe money lasted. He ) P'- P "'" J tespecdHly announced to his subscriber i i , i l:. f 1 that according to his owa terms, ms suo- senption was out. The following notice, written by the ' schoolmaster vra- recently posted on the j door of .chool-hous. near Frar.kfort, Ken tucky. Notiss. No swearing, enrsut or rtinnin bowl iuse cr ho.leiin in this scul. I j i st wonder what's the reason dis saw mill won't go now !' said a country nigser lo anoiher darky who had traveled some. Dat circumstance arguffes enooghuigga,' replied the philosopher, 'de reason is cause dar am not uflihun number cf watur.' It is estimated that lhe cost per man of Uhe army is nearly if not quite 81,200 per - i ' J annum. Tne government is as Abolition ia finan ces as in other matters. It will not keep a singla "yellow boy" in its raalts. . - SHOULD BE TacK for the People to Potsder. Wf aiever difTVreaces of opinion may ex- oor PubIlc fcairs. We may safely include, in the catalogue of objections to the present auminisirauon, me ioi. owing : First that the war has teen preverted from its originally declared purpose, (namely, the simple suppression of certain armed or ganizations in the South, with a view to the restoration of Irieudly and constitutional re lations,) io a gigantic scheme for the sub J imiunnai system ol the utt- ota.es. Secnd that the war has been made a Pretex'- and apol'gy for, the usurpation, by th8 1 re""tletil' of P'er unwarranted by ia" constitution and totally irrecon- cilaL'Ie witQ 'otter spirit of our insii- l f y j tisan reasons, and, for" the same cause, vio- lent an 1 inefiic:ent men put in stead ; troops hae been withheld at critical junctures, and the careluliy devied plans ol able general have been waatonly reverseJ, the chief ob ' ject of all ol which folly and crime has been to desiroy some real or fancied popularity of certain commanders with with the mass es of their countrymen. Four;h, That the conduct of the war has been characterized by corruptions onprece- l: -if ... niinsen responsicie. Fifth, That the adminis:ra;ion has corn- united itself to doctrines which elevate the military above Ihe civil power, effect the purity of ihe ballot box, and endanger the personal liberiy of the citizen. Sixth, and finally, That the policy novr declared is fatal not merely to all ideas of a legal re-union of lhe States, but foreshadows future bankruptcy, constant agitation, the establishment of a large standing army, and in a lime by no means remote, a military centralization such as to-day exists ia France. If there be persons of such buoyant and ssnguirie temperameut as to laugh at the calamities which we have indicated, and to style them the mere phantoms of a brain morbidly jaundiced, w e beg leave to remind them of what has been done ; we ask them to weigh the meaning of ihe cUirrj asserted by Mr Lincoln to be lhe sole judge in all ca-es of what is lawful and proper to bo done as a -"military necessity." We call their attention to what has been done in t n , . , , , . j Ca.eb bats, Attorney Genera! in Mr. Lin- I , n . . ... , ' j-ii.n7 f 3 lira Y A r . a . . i tk . M i U . sae ol Governor Brad ord, showing how electioos are carried by guu sud sjvord. We recall to them the act of placing tho Free North ur.der martial law. We ask them to pause before t!.e schemes of reor- . , . , t'lei. His o.i:h ! ponder over it. W e ask - thm to co.iiJer fie nieas used to make the army a po.ical engine in utter 6Corn of all she warnings of history ; and we bid them think of the terrible increase of new offices to swell the ' dispensing power" of the Governmen' whi'e the people are the bordeu of high struggling under prices If thej-e be not reason amp'e enough to warrant the people in demanding new 8g?n!, then we shall begin to despair cf lhe intelligence arid virtue of the people. We shall begin to forecast ihe doom of this once peerless and happy republic. Let the men 1 al Was-hintou, who have made carnival a :id tariffic of this aw ful teud, vacate their daily breaking the old and honored oaths which they took high heaven to witness that they would faithfully keep : men wbo will labor to get us Union, but what is even better than Union our old and tried polit ical system as devised by the statesmen of I 1767 ; men who will keep their bands free from illicit gain ; mea who will restore our national name and fame .abroad, which have been so sadly tarnished by the shuf fling and cowardly policy of the last three years. Give us a change. It is the prayer of the people, even if it is not their hope. Yet, mere are signs in the firmament which glad dens the souls of men. There are feigns which hundreds of thousands watch as the opportoni'y of the nation. God grant that they may not fall ! Cleveland Plain Dealer. The reason why a woman has her way eo much oftner than a man is that both bo and she are conscious lhat her way is the best. Mat God grant us sometimes a bard nut to crack, for after such nuts the table-wine of life tastes deliciously. Taking an enemy into one's month is steal away his trains isn't so bad as swind ling a friend. Yoa had better take iu ad enemy than lake in a frlsod. Will THE AD.-lIMSlRATIO.il CIU.NGEU 25, 1S53. ly, r.