Newspaper Page Text
VI'. 11. JAC03T, Publisher.
Truth and Right God and our Country.
Two Hollas per Annum.
BLOOMS B UK G. COLUMBIA COUNTY, PA.. WEDNESDAY DECEMBER 9.1863.
PUBLISHED EVERY WBDXESMT BT
mi. II. JACOBY,
Office en 31 aid St., Ird Square below Market,
TEKMS: -Two Dollars pur annum if paid
within six months from the time of subscri
bing: two dollars and fifty cents if not paid i
: . . - . l . '. i. r. , r J
wuiiiii nib year. io suocnpuon lanen lor
a lens period; than six mouths; no discon
tinuance permitted unit alia rrearages are
paid, unless at the option of the editor.
lhelerms of advertising will be as follows:
On square, twelve lines three times, SI 00
Kvtry subsequent insertion, . ... , , 25
One square, three months, ..... ."3 00
Oncyear, , I . ... .-. . ... ... 8 00
THE FALSE LOTE.
hi KI NGSWOOD CLARE.
I . sight of he starry sky, , . '
In sound of the rushing sea,
With beating heart and a lender smile,
Did my own true love kiss me.
Under the 'solemn sky,
Close to (he throbbing sea,
V? ith- wordi of love and vows of faith,
Did my eu true love kiss me.
1 caze on the same bright sky,
I hear llni ripplingea ;
I'.u never i cain, on earth or in heaven,
"Will rayowu .rue lo kiss me.
. . ."' ' . ' - '
1'rre are the hr!y Mar,
' 'True is the rei!ef-j ea,
True are "the thoughts of my heart to htm,
' But my love 13 falsp to me.
l!ar it, O Whantrefu?
Hear it, O moving sea !
Ye are trui to your own eternal laws,
B it my love is f&Je to me.
-Why fi'OQi! the moonlit ky,
V hy h.nl i the raoanina sea
Recall the empty dream o! the past,
-y hen my love 13 fal.e to me ?
"l-.rce to-hi ?:!. O stars !
. Thrill to ru heart, O sea !
!l rr.3y te srnit with a sudden par.g,
i ; Mf lovo will cctne back to me
r.ilzi!; ar, Emnibns.
a nigJit or two since. Klitz, trie renowned
magican ami vantrifoqtf st, took a seat in
1 omnibcs, containing seven oj eight pas
pengers. The coach had only proceeded
a rouple of isquares when lhj driver heard
tome one rjrclaira -
Hold up hold up, I say
The hordes stopped and John looked
roand smilingly for his passenger, but none
appeared. 'iVith an immodest exclamation,
he gathered up the reins, and said "get
," Frefy soon some one cried out
'Slop, drirer, stop !"
. .jThe driver again stopped, and looking
down into the coach inquired what was
wanting. The passengers eyed each other
as much as to say ' I didn't speak."
Again the coach rolled on bat only to be
stopped at the next corner by the heartren
ding squeaking of a poor rnnover pig. In
stantly each head was thrust ?out of the
windows to behold the dea'.h strungles of
the granter tut no gronter wa to be seen
In another rr.inu'e some one exclaimed in
a grufl voice ,
Keep off my toes !"
Every one looked around, but in rain, for
the man wiU damaged toes. The passen
Ers were completely bewildered. At the
noxt crossing the coach stopped to take in
a lady. Hardly had bhe taken her deal
when she exclaimed
Let me he keep your hands of! cf
The gentleman seated next to her, said
Tjry innocently :
'I didn't touch yon, madam
And the diver looked down and shout
'LooK-a-tere, if yon re gentlemen, I'd'
, V . , ', , , . . I
tracHyounot to take improper liberties (
1 , j ,, i
wilo the lady passengers : it won't do I" j,
- t.' 11 , . .. . .!
The lady made an observation as thai
coach rolled on, bnt she was not under-
a t. u j 1 . '
Mood.: The jr had scarcely gone a square-,
t , , .
farther shii naiinrin wp.ra startled ;
at. the cries of aa inlacf Instantly all eyes 1 ,aliinS DPon D8 lhe "V he"pn8 wPin?
were fixed -upon a middle-aged gentleman over our miseries. Then through the dark
who bad a. carpet-bag on his ,ap. Tbe f and drizzing rain, throngh the groans
man blushed and stammered out barely 1 and Prayer" of lhe fal!en men aboot me. 1
inei:igitle-.'Vhat the dace is all this bard a familiar voice close to my side :
about V . '., : " . . ;' ; ;.
u"Morder !" shouted the boy on the Btep,
while three or foir tugged lustily at the
''What is the matter in there V inquired
the driver. ' ,
;"L!atter enough," replied a gentleman,
"iak9 my fare out of this quarter."
"Keep yoar hand out of - my pocket,
proceeded from some one. ,
'I didn't tpeak-al a!!,", gravely replied
t!je man with the quarter. : .
"Because, sir; no one shall, with inpa
l.i'j, Bccnsj " Again the baby is
t eard to cry.
"Shatr.c I" said some one. - -
:'"Whi wfald have thought it!' remarked
another, vh i!o a third (Blitz of course)
heck the omnibus with a bourse lacgh.
TLir.king he hr.d had fun enough, the
ven:iiIoqcii t pttid his fare and jamped out
of t'oe ornaihes. Scarcely had he reached
t'23 Bid-3-walk however, before the driver
I erd th3 word "he!
d op !" from
fsrent qcartsrs in as many seconds, bat. not
1. pasengei coslJ hi d'. zetn. Filled with
iroader he harried on'his way. Blitz is a
A nakca rrcabor-d ia New Oceans
taz.es a ecu
ty his '.-i:3 v
at that he bad been tlrcck
the poker. Ii is much more
I'iely thai to was street by the rsan with
ti3 r.;!:er. : '
' MY REVENGE.
We met in the beginning of the action, I
and my enemy, Richard Withers he a reb
el, I a Federalist ! he on foot, I mounted.
It mailers not why I hated him with the
fiercest wrath of my nature. "The heart
kr.oweth its own bitterness," and the de
tails, while most paiaful 10 me, would be
of trifling interest to you. Suffice it that
our fend was not a political Oite. For ten
years we were closest inmates that the
1 same studies, the tame tastes and the same
aims could make us. 1 was the 'elder oi the j
two, and stronger physically; comparative
ly friendless as the world takes it, and had
no near relatives. Young, solitary and vis
ionary as we were, it is hard to make you
understand what we were to each other.
Up to this period of our enstrangement,
working together, eating together,, sleeping
together, I can safely say that we had not
a grief, not a pleasure or a vexation that
we did not share with almost a boyish sin-
f gle heartedness. But one single day chang
ed all. ,Ve rose in the mornina dear friends
and lay down amight bitter foes. I was a
man of extremes ; I either loved or hated
with the whole strength of my hear. The
past was forgotten in the present. The ten
years ol kindness, of congeniality, ol almost
womanly kindness, viere erased as with a
sponge We looked each other in the face
with angry, searching eyes said but-a
few wcrds (oar rage was too deep to be de
mo:, straiive) and pared. Then in cry soH
t tide I dashed rjiy cler,chnl hand upon the
Bible and vowed passionately ; "I may
war te:i years, ' Richard1 Withers ! T may
wait twenty, thirty, if you will, but sooner
or later I swear I shall have my revenge !'"
At:d this was the way we met.
1 wo'iuer il he thought cf that day when
he laid h:s hand upon my bridle rein and j strangely moved.
locked cp at me with hU treacherous blae i The rain was falling still ; b.ut the little
eye-. I scarcely think he did, or he could j head upon my breast was gone. He crept
r.ot have given me th.il look. He was bean-j away silently in the darkness His uncon
litnl as a girl ; indeed, the contrast of Lis ' cioas mission was fulfiiieJ ; he wonlJ not
fair, aristocratic face with the regular out- i return at my call.
line and red curving bps, to my own rough, I Then I lifted myself with great effort.
1 dark exterior, might have been partly the
fcecret of rav former attraction to him. But
lhe loreiiess of aa angel il it had been
h:s would not-have saved him from ma
then There was a pistol in his hand, but !
before he had time to discharge it. I cet at '
him with my sword, and as he line swept;
on like a gathering wave, I saw him Hag- ;
ger under the blow, throw up his arms and j
i go down with the presc Bi'terly as'l hated '
j him the ghastly face haunted me ' the long
day through. .
You all remember how it was at Freder- ;
kksburg. How we crossed the river at the
wrong point, and nnder the raking fire cf .
the enemy, were so disastrously repulsed.
Il was asaJ miFtake, and fatal to many a j
brave heart. When ni2hl fell. I lav onon !
the neld among dead and wounded. I was )
comparatively helpless. A ball had ehiv-1
- . . '
ered the cap of my right knee, and my
shoulder was laid open wi:h a sabre cut
The latter bled profusely ; but by dint of
knotting my handkerchief tightly around if,
I managed to staunch in a measure. For
my knee I could do nothing. Conscious
ness did not forsake me ; but from the
moans and wails of the men about . me, I
judged that others had fared worse than I
Poor fellows ! there mas many a mother's
darling suffering there. Many of my com
rades, lads of eighteeu or twenty, who had
never seen a tiight from home until they
joined the army, spoiled peta to fortune,
manly enough at heart, but children in
years and constitution, who had been ned
to have every little ache or scratch com
passioned with an almost extravagant sym-
i pathy there they lay crippled and gushed
f 1 1 . 1 : i 1 1 j l.jii. 1
w' j a
together some where they had fallen, some
0 1 '
where they had weakly crawled on their
hands and knees and never a woman's
v ,uuuu; , u u.u.
voice to whisper gentle consolation
pitchy dark, and a cold miserable
r J ' -
"Wafer I water I water I J am dying with
! thirst if it be but a bw&Uow water? For
; God's sake give rne water !"
I recoiled with dismay. It was the voice
of my enemy; the voice of Richard Withers.
They were once dear to me, those mellow
tones ; once the pleasantest music I cared
to hear. Do yon think they so softened me
now 1 Yon are mistaken : 1 -am candid
abont it. Jlj blood :boiled in ray veins
when I heard, when I knew he lay so close
to me, and I was powerless to withdraw
from his detested neighborhood. There
was water in ray canteen. 1 had filled it
before the last ball came. By stretching
my haud I could give him a driak, but I
did net raise a finger. .Vengeance was
I sureet. I smiled grimly to myself, and said
down in my secret heart :
' "Not a drop shall cross bis lipsthoagh he
perish. I shall have ray revenge."
Do yoa recoil with horror ? Listen, how
merciful God was to me. .
There was a poor little drummer on the
other side, a merry, manly boy of twelve or
thtn, the pet and plaything of the
regiment. There wjs something of the
German ia him, ; be had been with ns from
the first, and was reckoned one of the best
drummers in the array. - But we would
never march to the tap of Charlie's drum
eain. He had got a ball ia his longs; and
the exposure and fatigue, together with the
wcjsd, had made htra light headed. Poor
little child ! he crept close to me in the
darkness and laid his cheek on my breast.
May be he thought it was his own pillow
at home ; may be he thought it. poor dar
ling, his mother's bosom. God only knows
what he thought; but with his hot arm
about my neck, and his curly head pressed
close to my wVked heart, even then swell
ing with bitter hatred of my enemy, he be
gan to murmur in his delirium, ' Our Fath
er, who art in Heaven."
1 was a rough, bearded man, I had been
an orphan for many years: but not too many
or too long to forget the simple-hearted
prayer ol my childhood the dim vision of
that mother's face over which the grass had
grown for twenty changing summers. Some
thing tender stirred within my hardened
heart. It was too dark to see the little lace,
but the young lips went on brokenly :
'And forgive us our trespasses as we for
give those who trespass against us."
It went through ma like a knife sharper
than the sabre cut, keener than the ball.
God was merciful to me- and this young
child was the channel of his mercy.
"Forgive us our trespasses aa we forgive
those who trespass against us.''
I had never understood the words before
If an angel had spokn, it could scarcely
hare been more of a revelation. - For the
first lime the thouaht that 1 miabt be mor
taly wounded, that death meight be "near
er than I dreamed, struck me with awe and
horror. The text of a long forgo'ten sermon
was in ray ear t "It is appointed for all
men to die; and after death the judgment."
Worse and worse.- What measure of mer
cy coold I expect, if the rime wa meted
out that I had meted unto my enemy. The
tears welled into my eyes, and trickled
down my cheeks ; the first that I had shed
since by boyhood. I felt scbda.il and
: The old bitterness was crusheJ, but n H al-
moaned Rici4ard With-
ers In bis agony,
1 tlracged myself c!oe.r to Mm.
tj0ti te praised !" I said with a solemn
nPar- "Dick, old boy. enerpy no longer,
('0 e rra'!'? ' 'ra willing and able to
,eIP J"on Drink and be friends "
It had been growing lighter-and lighter
the east an(i now l was d;iy- Day with
,n anc' daJ wi'hont. In the first gray glim.
raer fawn we looked into each others
Shast!y ,aCe' for a moment, and then the
canteea was at Richard- mouih, and he
drar.k a.i only the fevered can drink. I
waIcbeJ him mist eyes, leaning up.
on m' eIbow forgetting the bandaged
. V. ' ,J. Il J . i . ... . ,
fhoalder. He grasped me with both hands.
Blood-stained and palid as it was. his
face was ingenuous and beautiful as a
"Now let rne speak," he said, panting
"You have misjudged nil, Rufus. It was
all a mistake ; I found it out af'er we part
ed. I meant to have spoken this morning
when I grasped our rein, but but"
His generosity spared me the ret.
The wound my hand had inflicted was
yet bleeding in his head ; but for the' blind
passion oj the blow it maht have been mor
tal. Was vengeance so sweet after alt ? I
felt something warm trickling from my
shoulder. The day light was gone again
bow dark it was ! .
"Forgive me, Dick," I murmured, grop
ing about for him with my hands." Then
I was blind then I was cold as ice then
I tumbled downn abyss, and everything
"The crisis is past he will recover said
a strange voice'
"Thank God ! thank God !" cried a fa
I opened my eyes. Where am I ? How
odd everything was. Rows of beds stretch
ing down a long narrow hall, bright with
sunshine; and women wearing white caps
and peculiar dresses flitting to and fro with
noisele-s activity, which, in my fearful
weakness, it tired me to watch. My hand
lay outside the covers ; it was as shadowy
as a skeleton's. What had become of my
flesh 1 Was I a child or a man f A body
or a spirit? So light and frail did I feel, I
began to think I was done with material
things altogether, and had been subjected
to some refiaii: process, and bnt now
awaked to a new existence. Bat did they
have beds in the other worlds ? I was look
ing lazily al.tho opposite cue, whe i some
one took my hand. A face was banding
over. I locked up with a beating heart.
The golden sunshine was on it on the fair,
regular features, aad the red lips .and the
kindly bine eye.
"Dick !" I gasped, "where Lava yoa
been ail these years ?"
"Weeks, you mean," S3id Richard with
the old smile. "But never mind now." You
I are better, dear Rulus yoa will l.ve we
shall be happy together again."
It was more a woman's voice than a
man's, bnt Dick had a tender heart.
.fWhsre am I ?" I asked, still hazy.
"What's the matter with 'rne V
"Hospital, in the first place," said Rich
ard. 'Typhus, in the second. You . were
taken after that night at Fredericksburg."
It broke upon me at once. I remembered
that awful night J could never, never for
get it again. Weak as a child, I covered
my face and buret into tears. Richard was
on his knees by ray side at once
I was a brute to recall it,', he whispered
remorsefuMy. 'Do not think of it, old boy
j yon ill ust not excite yourself. It is all
. forgotten and forgiven.'
I 'Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive
j those who trespass against us," I prayed
I from my inmost heart.
'Those words have been in your mouth
night and ttay, ever tince you were taken,'
said my friend.
I lay silent, cogitating.
Tell me one thing,' I asked, 'are we in
the North or South ?"
'North in Philadelphia.'
Then you are a prisoner.' I Baid, mourn
fully, recalling his principles.
'Not a bit of it.'
'What do you mean ?'
'I have seen the error of my ways. I have
taken the oath of allegiance. When you
are strong enough again we shall fight side
by side.' ' '
'And the wound in your head ?' I asked,
with emotion, looking up at his bright,
'Don't mention it ; it healed up long ago.'
' 'And the little drummer V
Richard bowed his heal upon my hand.
'He was loutid dead uprn the field
Heaven bies3- him ! They said he died
praying, with his mother's name upon his
'ilevere him as an angel !' I whipcr
ed, grasping him by the hand. 'But for his
dying prayer we had jet been cnetriiss !'
A lessen to Preachers.
The fo'Iowin extract from the pen cf
Edmund Burke, might te given ai a lesson
to men who prptend 10 be ministers of the
Gospel; but " who ir. stead of preaching
Chri'jand 'him crucified.' tun -their, prtl
phs imo political rostrums, to dahble in the
picl of parti-tan p'rife.
"Politics a.d the pulpit are terms that 1
" V T - I ve had a eor.siderabnl tvvlng of my cM
be heard .n the church but the healng voice inerar, t!ie rheBmatiz. Th.s er, WasL
of Christian charity. The cause of eiil j tcn ,lmosfere is terribul en the constito-hia .
irovornrnent au., as little as. religion by The i:erneI) too. was nigh about down sick
th.s confus.oa of duties. Thee who quit 0I(8 day . blU we lolh tfik a eooJ o!Mash.
not belong to them are foMhe t'reater part
IiJNOP.ANT BOTH OF TH2 CIIARACI EK Til FT7 LEAVE
AND THK Cl'AK ACTk.'R 7 H KY ASSfMC. Wholly
unacquainted with the world in which
they ere so fond of meddling, and Inexper
ienced in ail its allairs, on which they pro
nounce with so much confidence, they
have nothing of pclitics but the passions
Thc Habeas Corpus T. Babingioa Ma-
cauly, the great English historian, in speak-j tainty, how many greenbacks there are
ing of King James the Second, the tyrant j aflote or how big the public debt is. The
whom the English people expelled from Kernel sed he couldn't even lay the fonnda
lhe throne in 1688, says : j Phin limbers of his messige until he had
"One of his objcs was to obtain a I some fig-rs abont the debt to begin on.
repeal cf the habeas corros act w hich he So I told him I would go over and see
hated, as it is natural a tyrant should hate Chase an have a talk with him. I tut my
the MOST STRINGENT CURB THAT
EVER LEGISLATION IMPOSED LTON
TYRANNY. The feeling remai ied deeply
fixed in his mind to the last, and il appears
in the instructions which the drew np,
when in exile, for the guidance of his son.
But iha habeas corpus act, though passed
during the af-cendency of the Whigs, was
not more dear to the Whign thai, the Tories.
It is, indeed, not wonderful that this great
law should be highly prized by all English-
men, without distinction of party; for it is a
law which, not, by circuitous, but by direct
operations, adds to the security ar.d hap-
piness of every inhabitant of the realm."
We don't think we hated the act more
than oar President and Cabinet do at the '
To Spoil a Daughter. Be always telling
her how pretty she is. j
Instill into her young mind an nndae love
for dress. j
Allow her to read nothing but works of
Teach her ail the accomplishments, but
none of the utilities of life. J
Keep her in the darkest ignorance of the ',
sympathies of housekeeping. j
I nitiate her into the principle that it is
vulgar to do anything for herself.
i j eirpiigiueu uio tausr, lei ner nave a
lady's maid." i
Teach her to think she is better than any
Make her think she is sick, when she is
net, and let her lie in bea taking medicine,
when half an hoar's oat door exercise wol'd
compleiely cure her of her laziness.
And lastly, having given her such an ed
ucation, marry her to a moustachsd gatitle
man, who is a clerk with a salary ol 250
A Ladt who has boasted nighty at a din
ner party, of the good manners of her U'.lo
darling, addressed him thus:
'Charlie ray dear, won't yoa have serr.e
'No,' was the ill-maanered reply of the
No !' exclaimed the astonished mother,
no what ?"
No beans,' said the child.
VvVfind the Jollwing is the Morenci
(Mich) Journal :
"We have a devil in our office who has
been at the business bat about eight or nine
months, and can set his eight thousand cms
in eight hours." , (
He must be devi! and no mistake. Why
we know a regular "graduate'? who says i:
takes him more than eight hours to set one
"Em" straight after quarrelling with her. .
He pinned to his coat the firey badge,
Red, like the blood of those who had gone
When first our country called.for aid,
And he said he would follow on.
He would go to the battle-field,
Like them he would proudly meet the foe,
Never to falter, never to yield,
Ui.til treason were laid low.
"Bnt there are many," he said, "would be
Glad in your place to be enrolled,"
But he cried, "When the land aeks life from
Can I pay the debt with gold ? me,
Yon starry flag in the air
Beneath its folds I could even die !
Who hould fight to maintain it there,
If you hold back such as 1 ?
"Once," he said, "in my school boy days,
Reading ot all our fathers braved,
When they dared to face a tyrant's wrath
To set free a land enslaved,
I wiehed I had lived just then,
When men had such gallant work to do ;
And, now the chance has come round aain
I must make my dreams come true !"
So he lelt us all to fn'fill his word
The word once uttered in boyish g!e
"If foes should threaten my native land,
She may loci: hr help 10 me !"
And l:e stands in the conscript ranks,
Whh as lofty a step and hearinjr high.
As becomes a man who's grasped the sword
To maintain his rights or die.
And I thark God on is left us yet,
.One hocest man, valiant and strong,
To sliflo down all selfish fear,
And kirr.-e'f try to conqor wrong.
Thank God Icr one freeman more,
S;eacl!at. and calm, and resolute,
Who would die in his country's cau?e be
lls would call for a "subtitua !'' ;ora
6iC3;.r sl::jes-no. i;i.
Washington Nov. 19, 1S3.
To the E.IHeri of the Ihibook :
Suits : IJ I airt been bizzy since I writ
you !at than never a man v.a5. Eesivje",
"uned wiskeyli :g, of the very best Old Rye,
nnd we.it to bed on it. The next . mornin
we loth feit last rate. Tbe Kernel keen-
ever got cnyvrhere
We have bi?r ;i very hard at work ca the
tnesr.ig-?, and such a time as we have ted
of it you never did see. StaU'n don't know
how meny fcj-irs lis hai got in the field,
nor hn-.v rnaoy have been killed or woun
ded. Grandfather Welles can't tell how
matiy gutitotes he's got, an as for Chae,
j he don't purtend to even gue8 for a cer-
slate under my arm and started. Soon as 1
went in Chase tuk me by the hand an sed
he was rale down rite glad to see me. I
lelled him what I wanted, an te sed he
1 would soon have it ready for me, but jest
ihen he asked me to go up stairs an see the
macheenery an printin presses, and so on,
that he had got to make money. He sed
, the worst of it was that the michenes was
constantly getlin out of order, and be
wanted to know if I understood any thing
about sich affairs. I tolled him there warnt
nothing from squirrel traps to dog churns
' and thrashing macheene3, that Ididn'tkaow
j '"m stem to starn. Then he eed I was
jest the chap he wanted. Sol went with
him, and 1 was perfectly thunderstruck
when I saw all the riggin, and fixins, and
belts, and shafts, and pulleys, and machen-
es all a runnin and whizzin, and buzzin, a
fast as they could go. Ses the SeckeUry,
"this here raachene runs to payoff Gineral
Grant' troops. This one runs to pay off
Gineral Meade's troops This one runs for
Gineral Banks. This one is now bizzy for
General Burnside, and here is this ere one
completely broken .down. It is Gineral
Gi'Imore's machene !" "Yal,"ses I "Mr.
Secketary, do you have a machene forevery
Gineral and every army ?'' "Yes," ses hs,
"aboot that." . "Wal," ses I, "what do
you io aDout tne contracier f ' uu," ses
he, "I ain't showeed you them yet. That's
in another -ronm ." Se he, "come aiong
with me " So I follered. and we went off
into ariOiher room. Il was nih about tn
limes a? big as the first one, and there Were
hundreds cf presses runnin' as fa5l as they
cca'i 0. "There," ses he, "if thoe here t
machenes were to stop one day, it would J
.set all Wall street into a panic. Smetimas i
when the belts give out or the bolts break,
or the cosl gits short, or paper doa't pit in
in tune, there is a good deal of troubil, bnt
I've got it so fixed now, that I keep 'em
putty well supplied. " Ses I, "Mr. Secketa
ry. who is your engineer?'' "Wttl," ses
he, "lie's a good trusty man." "3at," fe?
I, ''suppose he should bust your tilers,
what would Wall street do then ?" "Wal,"
ees he, ' I never thought of that, bnt I guess
ihere ain't eny danger." "Wal," ses 1( j
"stpam U mighty onsarlia. Old Auntj
Kezlath Wigsleton up in Maine, used to
say that the only safe way to run a steam
boat was lo take the bilers out, and my
opinion is, luai a LUieiuuicui mu vj firmii
'. 1 i
will bust Dp one
didn't seem to Hke this Ust remark renc.i,
bct he didn't say anything. Wecumdown
stairs putty 8O0Q after, and a feller with a
brown linen coat on, nigh aboniall over ink, j
brought a hall lot of paper covered over j
with figgers, and sed that Mr, Linkin could :
find oat all he wanted to from them. I
looked 'em over, but I couldn't make tied
nor tail to them. ' Wal'ses I, "perhaps
a chap who understands dul ble and twisted
entry bookkeeptn' can understand this ere
fingering, but I'll bo hanged if I kin " Sea
I, "here's seven thirty", and six per cents, j
and five per cents, and bonds and socks and '
sartificates, and '98s and '78s 'G8 and 158s'
and Lord ki.ows how meny more 8s, until
it gets all mixed up so that you can't tell :
any thing more about the debt than Stantin
j kin tell how many eojers has been killed
and wounded. Now," ses I, "the people
don't care a straw anything about your cix
twenty, or ?our five twentys. All they
want to know is jest how much money this '
ere war has cost, and that is ; what Pine '
tryin' to fisger out for em. When eld Gin
neral Jackson wanted me to go into Sqnire
Biddle's Bank and cifer out how matte's
stood I soon did it, but that warn't eny more
. comparin to this here affair, , than the
j bunch c! elder bushes in Deacon Jenkin's
I mcdow is to the Dismal Swamp. I tak the
j papers, however, over to Linkin, for it was
j the Lest I could do Wen 1 handed them
i to the Kernel, tes he, "Majr, does Chase
j expect tne to survive al'.er studyin out these
j figgcra V "Wal" set; 1, "Kernel, I don'l
know, but J 1,'iii.k Chase uv-.nj to be nexf
The Ksrnel tuk the hint r:t? off; bnt he
sed Chase would never bo President, for he
war.ipd to be so bad, that he acted all the
time a if a bumble hre was Ftirgin him
j p.nd that his fiyin round so wonld kill bin;
' off, if p.olhin elsa. We then both so", down
I and wect to studyin t'.se fitziterst 1 cifered
on my ?kte: r.nJ the Kernel made chalk
t rnants on ms nal every time we got cp tc
a million of dollars. Pur:y oon the Kernel's
eye te;;an to look wilj, and ses he,
"Mnj-r, where do wc !ar:d r.?xt? I.- the
Lp win upstream or Fidoway-? S!i3 11 go
down, sure as thunder. Well, let her rip;
file's hecn a sinkirt conrarn for year-." I
see at once that t!.e Kernel was fligh'y
Chafe's fiers had turned his hod, and
he thought he was fiatbotiti asin od the
Mis!s?ipji river. Bat he kept on ravin.
"?s he, 'Tlaj.?r, knock that uiger off the
totv" : Ul8 bo'e he 8 ri!e ,a lhe waT '
i I'0, eri1c! " am t safe to hit
a n5??wr 5:1 lb3M da's
Stanton will put
" 1 .'--.v,. .i,:-
mijh! bring the Kernel lo his t-en-es, but it
didn't. Ses he, "There it goes majer, ?.
z I told you, right cn th.-t snag. That
rticcr is to blame br the hull of it." I
se-t it was no ue, that the Kernel was nigh
about s:ark mad, a::d to I said to hir.i, tes
"l, "let's put cp this work to-night, and go
to bed " lia didn't want to. but I dragged
him eff, an he kept ravin' all the time,
"That nigger has ruined ine ! There he
comes he is after me yet.
As soon as I got the Kernel in bed, I pat
a double set of mustard plasters on his feet
an then gave him a strong dose of my old
remedy, "elder bark tea. I knew that would
cure him, if anything on arth. Party soon
he sweat began to start, an the gripinin the
bowels began. Jest as soon as this took
place, it drawed all the disease out of his
bead, an the next mornin he was as bright
a? new dimes, used to be when there was
The fust thing the Kernel sed to me in
the mornin was, 6es he, "Majer I hed an
awful dream laM niie." Ses I, "What was
it ?'' " Wal," ses he, "I dreamt that the
nigger had destroyed the Union." "Wal,"
ses I, "Kernel, you get nearer the truth in
your dreams than you gin rally do when
you are wide awake. If you will only
have another dream, you will see that the
Abolishinists have killed, the Union, and
that the poor niggers is only the means that
they have used to do it."
ine ivernei uid nt say nottnn, -out looked j
down on the floor and whistled. Finally ;
ne tu out oi dis pccitei oneot cnase s new lhe following, among other reasons, why
fifty cent shinplasters, an ses he, "Majer, , he should be exempted : "Our early mili
kin you tell me why this new currency has j tary education ha- been sadlv; neglected,
the alor of nashinajity about it?" "No j aml therefore xve fear we would prove an
ses I, "Kernel, I don't see it." "Wal," .es unprofitable soldier. Oar eye-sight is very'
he because it is cenied paper!'' "Wal," ses j defective, and at the sound of artillery we
I, "Kerne!, now kin you tell me why lhal j are very apt to be troubled with a sudden"
fifty cent bbinplaster is like the war ? ' Ses weakness about the knees. We have been
he, "Ma-er, you've go; me there." "Wal," j troubled with a eaL;,o of the back, from
ees I, "the face is biack, whica means that j our iniancy, and since we have arrived at
we are fi-hin to free the nL-ger, and trie j the age of manhood have been sau!y;afiLct-'
buck i? red or the blood '.ha price we are ! ed with corns, conscientious scruples in
pavir. tor it : ' !
When i sed this the Kernel brought hi1
hand down on the lab il like all possessed,
gi? a kick with his foot that sent his s-lipper
u) in clear across the room, arid ses he,
i "Majer, by the .''Ses I, "Kerne! hold
cn. Do yon wa:t to take any more elder
bark lea ? ' When 1 f ed this he tapered
rite do-vn, and ees he jst as good &s pie,
"lei's have some old rye and make
l uon i oijsct, out ttie .raessige aia t , r
finished yet, and the Lord only knows
when it will be dan.
Yoarn till deth.
Mijca Jack Downing.
How is it with Yoe ? At a prayer meot- j
ing in the church of the village of Sput,k-
town, in the State of Maine, a country lad i
was noticed by one of the elder d.acon- to
hold his head and wriggle in bis seat, while j
the tears seemed to start every minute. j
A clear case ol repentence thought the
old deacon, and he quietly stepped to the
. , , . , . ,T
R'drt fil the lait. 7i:A in a ihun?r alianiinn
! :Uely inquired :
"How is it with vou mv soa ?"
The boy looked op, and supposing him
to be the sexton, answered :
"Oh, very bad, and I want to go octf my j
innards is kickin' up a revolmion, and if I
ever cat a green currant pie asaio my name I
ain't Jeero 3il'.ings
The Shadow of Death.
We have rarely met with anything mora
beautiful than the following which we find
in an exchange paper ;
"All that live must die.
Passing through Nature to Eternity."
Men seldom think of the great event of
,eal 01,151 lhe dark shadow falls across
inPlt0ffn Pa,n. riiqing forever from their
eyes the faces of the loved ones whose liv
ing smile was the 6unlight of their exist
ence. Death is the great antagonism of life,
and the cold thought of the tomb, is the
skeleton al all oar feasts. Wedn not want
to tet 'trough the dark valley, although its
passage may be lead to paradise; and with
Charles Lamb, we do not wish to lie down
in the mouldy srave, even with kings and
princes for our bed fellows. But the fiat of
nature is inexorable. There is no appeal
or reprieve from the great law that dooms
us all to dast. We flourish and fade like
the leaves of jLhe forreM, and the fairest
flower that blooms and withers in a day has
not a frailer hold on life than the mightiet
monarch that has ever shook the earth by
his footf-tep. Generations of men appear
and vanish like the grass, and the countless
multitude that swarms the world to-day
will to-morrow disappear like the foot
prints o.i ihe shore. '
In the beau'ilul drama cf Ion, the instict
of immortality, o eloquently rmered by the
death dsvated Greek, finds a deepresponse
in every thoezhtful soul. When aboot to
yi?dd his ycung existence ts a sacrifice to
his betrothed, Ciemathe a'cs if they shall
r.ct meet aain, lo which he replies :
I have tisksd thr.t dreadful question of the
hills that look eternal ; of iha s'ars among
whose fields cf azure my "raised spirit hath
walked in glory. All were dumb. But
while I gaze npon their living face, I felt
there's something in the love which man
tles throegh its beauty that cannot wholly
parish. We shall meet again, Cletnanlhe."
Captain hast Eillrcgs. .
Capt. Ike is row in Pooghkeepsia, and
gives to the press of that city some prov
erbs and sharp payings. We present them
for the edificaticu of Capt. in this vicinity.
A man who will chaw tcbacker will
drink santy krne ram, and a man who will
drink .arty kru?e rum will go la the. devil,
and a man who will go tti the devil is mean
enorgh to do enyll.ir.g els. :-
Yu kan rell just abont what a men will
du by heann him tell what he has did. K
I am prepared tn say to seven 'rich .men i
ont of every ten, rnake the most or ywr V
money for it makes the most ov yu.
Debt is a bip Eal pot, a big hole whar yu
go in, and a small wun whar yn cum out.
Man wus kreated a little lower than the
Angellf, and he has fceea gelling a little
lower ever sine.
The most onea.y kritter I ever pcrsued
was a bobtail Bull in fli time.
When a feller gets a soin' down hill it
does seem as though everything had him '
greased for the ockaion. .
When yu have serius trubble, do a the'
dogs da when they git whipped 20 in se
cret and lick your sors till they git well and
then look np ancther file.
I have known folks whose Caliber was
very small, and whose Bore wat very big.
There is the difference between rusting
out and wearin out ; if you rust oat, when'
yu git thru ya aint wu-h a knss, but if ya
wear out, what's leftov yu is first rate.
A big soul makes a man look like an old
fashioned tin lantern with a kandle lit in it.
The meanest man I ever uu, was lhe one
who stole a . ngar whistle from a nigger
baby to swee'ten a kup of rye koflee with.
Valid A cotemporary, upon whom an
enroling officer recently made a call, gives
regard to the taki;:g of human life, and
therefore would object to .hooting down
one of ocr iellow -citizens, without at least
good cace, such as rtlu.ittg to acknowl
edge the whoie Union atid the people there
of, as united in one common bnnd, all sec-
tiiMis being eq
with the exception of the
Abolitionists, who hall be giver, a fair field
to fight out their tiiilic-liies among them
selves. We aro or Dosed to lhe earrrin?r of
..y wepotn?, ar.d must solemnly protest
aain.t their tei..g forced upon oar shonl.
diers. We are .low cn foot, and would
labor utder great disad vantages in a retreat.
Taking ail in all, we cannot bat think that
)...... si t! rtL. 1 j
''" ' --'". " " w,
aa man' havin? al hearl ,he 3'J of his
COanI' aS ell as that of his fellow beings,
I will omit our name when he throws those
slips of paper into the wheel."
Never Mixd thk Woodshed" IIt
I dear Amelia," said Mr. O. D. Collone, to
the yoang lady whose smiles hs was seek
ing, "I have long wished for this weet
opportunity, bat I hardly dare trust rny-
8el' BOW o speak the deep emotions of my
palpitating hearl ; but I declare to yoa, my
dear Amelia, that 1 love you most tenderly ;
your smiles would shed would shed!"
"Never mind the wool .hed, g on witr
the pretty talk.'