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W. U. JACOB!, Proprietor.
Truth and Right God and our Country.
TWo Dollars per Annan.
VOLUME 13.
BLOOMS BURG. COLUMBIA COUNTY, PA., WEDNESDAY AUGUST 21, 1861.
NUMBER 33.
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STAR OF THE NORTH
FUBLISHKD ITEBT WXDKKS&AY ST
" V W. D. JK08Y, , '
Office on Main St., Srif Square below Mirki-
TERMS : Two Dollars per annum it paid
within fix months from the time f subren
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within the year. No subscription taken fur
a less period than fix months ; no discon
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The terms of advertising wilibe asfollomst
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' Choice poetrtu
THE SCIR OF lEXIXGTOl
With cherub smile, the prattling boy,
Who on the yetran's breast reclines,
Has thrown aside his favorite toy,
And round his tender finger twines
Those scattered locks that with the flight
Of fourscore years are snowy white ;
And as a scar arrests his view, - - -He
cries, "Grandpa, what wounded you!''
My child, 'tis five and fifty years
This very day, this very hour,
Since from a scene of blood and tears,
" ; Where valor fell, by hostile power,
I saw retire the setting nun,
Behind the hills of Lexington ;
.While pale and lifeless on the plain,
My bi others lay ior freedom slain
And ere that fight the first that spoke
In thunder to our land was o'er,
Amid the clouds of fire and smoke
I fell my garments wet with sore !
'Tis since that wild and dread affray,
That trying, dark, eventful day,
From thi? calm April eve so far,
1 wear upon my cheek the scar.
When thou to manhood shall be grown,
And I am gone iri dust to sleep,
May freedom's rights be still thine own,
And thou and thine in quiet reap"
The onblighted product ot the toil,
In which ray blood bedewed the soil,
And while those fruits then shall enjcy,
Bethiffk thee of this scar, my boy.
But should my country's voice be heard
To bid her children fly to arms,
Gird on thy grandsire's trusty sword,
And undismayed by war's alarms,
Remember on the battle field
I made the hand of God my Shield,
And b thoo spareJ like me to Ml
Who bore thee up while others fell.
Written Jhr the Star of Ike AVA.
Letter from Camp Gibsoa.
Ma Editor: Again we have changed
our position. .On the 23d nit. thin Regiment,
accompanied by '.he 7th l'enn:a., according
to orders of General McCall, marched for
this Camp. The march a distance of about
nine miles was a severe test of our "metal."
The beat was in'ense, and, I must confess,
confused mine as well as the ideas of many
others, of soldiering. We were detained a
short time at Washington, where Colonel
Biddl, Aid-de-Camp to General McCall,
joined ns.
This Camp is in the District of Colombia,
but near the line dividing it from Maryland.
It is four miles west of Georgetown, near
the public highway, leadinz to the city.
within - three miles of the Potomac, and of
but two hours march of the "long bridge."
Altogether, it is a desirable position, and if
any attempt is made by the foe to cross the
river in this direction, they will certainly be
saluted by musketry and Sherman's Battery,
in a becoming manner. A portion of this
battery, nnder command of a Lieutenant,
(the Captain having been taken prisoner in
the engagement at Bull's Ron) is now en
camped near an.
At present there are ten Regiments of the
Penn'a. Reserve Corps in this immediate
Ticinity, among them the third under Col.
H. G. Sickless ; sixth, Col. W. W. Ricketts ;
seventh, Col. E. B. Harvey ; eiehth. Col. G.
B. Hays; ninth, Col. C. T. Jackson ; tenth,
Col. J. S. McCalraont. In addition to this
number, Campbell's Light Field Artillery',
of which IL B. Ricketts, of Orangeville, and
C. B. Brockway, of Bloomsburg, are mem
bers, now at Washington, is daily expected.
It consists of strong, well drilled, aud relia
ble men, and will )e an ornament as well
as strength to oar Regiment.
Since here I find vigilence as indispensi
ble as my market or ammunition. Not long
since ill the Regiments. here were called
out at two o'clock in the morning. The
cause, we are toldwas that the rebels were
advancing in this direction. Each Regiment
in turn, is obliged to act as a picket guard
for twenty -four hours. On Sunday last, our
Regiment, with the exception of one com
pany, was on this duty. We were stationed
in squads of five a Corporal and four pri
vates about one mile from Camp The
object of this is, to holt all suspicious per
sons and thus intercept despatches that
might be carried between this and the city.
The hen Guards are in good spirits, and
anticipate a "brush" soon. To-day they
have exchanged the old, heavy and useless
musket, for the Springfield rifled musket.
They axe lighter and ia every respect supe
rior to any in the service.
'" Colonel Ricketts is yet unfit for doty
He is still in Washington city, although it
is believed he will soon be with us.
Yours, tc., C. S. II.
August Siktl$Sl.
Two Irishmen were going to fixe off a
cinnoti, just for fan ; but being of aQ eco
nomical tarn of miad, they did not wish to
lose the ball. So one of them took an iron
ket'Je in his hand to catch.it, and stationed
Ir'rssclf ia front of tha loaded piece, ex
clainjirj to the other, who stood behind it
fc'c! Jin -a lighted torch: .'; " "
"Teach fcsr Eiy, IV.!" and away Trent
Incident of Camp Life.
The humors of camp-life are worth print
ing very often, as in the case of the follow
ing side-splitting incident narrated by the
Washington gossip of the New York Mer
cury: " , ' - . V
For the last two months esyou are aware
our city has been one vast camp ; and as
a! the public departments had organized
military companies for the protection of the
buildings, the Government printing office
employees, no less loyal to the Union, de-
: termiDed m foIow io lheir wake and organ.
f . , 6
' "e a company also.
i ne intention was no sooner circulated
among the men than a long list of names
was received of the ablest young men in
the office. But among them was one indi
vidual,fvaraed 'Nubbs,' who,by some means
or influence, was admitted in the company
against the wish of nearly threefourlhs of
the members ; not that be was not a good
Union man, but because he loved his bitters
better than his duty, and they were afraid
to trust him on duty when he had been
drinking.
It so happened that, the very first night
the company went into active service, it foil
to the lot of 'Nubbs,' among ..six others, to
stand guard outside the building; and as
he was no friend of the corporal, the latter,
determined to give hirn the most solitary
post in his power, and placed him on the
north side ot the building, next to an old
graveyard.
'Nubbs' being possessed of no extraordi
nary share of courage, fortified himself with
a large bottle of his favorite beverages
whiskey to keep his company, and give
him consolation during the two long weary
hour he was compelled to keep guardv -Before
goining on doty, he was provided
with an old flintlock musket, which for the
want of balls, was loaded with some old
-
I'n
It was twelve o'clock when he was
marched out to his post ; and after receive
ing instructions to 'let no one pass without
it,' he was left alone with his fears, reflec
tions, and whisky.
The time, place, and hour all conspired to
make poor 'Nubbs' send his 'best friend,'
the bottle, on liequenl excursions to his
mouth ; and before the firsi ha!f of his two
hours expired, he had kissed his best friend
to death, and consigned it to an uncovered
grave in the burying-ground opposite.;
'Nubbs' courage by this time being 'equal
to any emergency,' be walked his post like
a Roman sentinel , but, unlike one, he
wandered far out of his limits, and halted
not until he came to a well known resort
of his, a public house, kept by one Flani
gan, and kept guard for at least two hours,
thinking it was the office that he was
watching so vigilantly, cursing the corporal
for keeping him on duty so long. He had
a.reaay anven on ;wo in.ruoers ooaruers
i i ,- rt-. - t f
oi r.amgan s, who udu ueen win prcuy iib
-because they refused to give the counter
sign, when a third party approached, and
was quickly challenged by our a.teutive
sentinel with, ,
W ho goes there 1
No answer,
Who goes there, I say ? Stand, or 111
fire!' .;.. .:" '" ' " " ' '
As no answer ws returned, 'Nubbs'
brought hi 'shooting-stick' to his shoulder,
and fired at the approaching object, which
he could dimly see in the distance.
No sooner had be discharged his musket
than the terrible deed flashed upon bis mind
with such vividness that it caused him: to
recover his sober senses; and throwing
down his old flint-lock, be ran to see if be
could be of any assistance to the unfortu
nate victim of his rashnes; for he was quite
sure he had struck the object, as it had not
moved since he - fired ; but what was bis
astonishment when, on coming up to it, be
discovered he had shot, not a traitor, but a
fine large hog I
'Nubbs' first thoughts were to bury the
hog, and say nothing about it; but as he
had nothing to dig a hole wiib, he conclu
ed to drag it to Flanigan's yard, and leave
it till morning, with the hope that he could
get it away before any one discovered it.
But Flauigan, having seen some one
guarding his house in the ' night, got up
much earlier than ususal to discover the
cause of it ; and the first object that met bis
view'was the dead hog, with a lot of old
type 'sticking' in his Lead.
Ilwas not long before the affair leaked out
and Nubbs was compelled to undergo an
examination before the captain, who sen
tenced him to 'hunt for the owner of the
hog until Iound, and pay the value of it.'
Although Nubbs strenuously contended
that he was only following his instructions
to 'let no one pass without the countersign,'
he was compelled to see the owner and pay
for the hog. And be says,' to this day, that
he spent more money, drank more whisky,
and travelled over more ground . than ever
he did in cne day before in bis life, just to
find the owner of a darned dead bog !'
As UksinkablbSki?. A ship bnilt npon
an entirely new pla'n4 and pronounced by
the patentee lo , be nnsixkable, has been
launched at 'Deptfordgreiea.'i She is con
structed with three decks,' each being In
itself adlsiinct'ship, so that even if her bot
tom, was destroyed, she would still float
A cosntry gardener, who had 1 threatened
thievish boys with' "sp'rhtg-guns," "man
traps," etc., in rain, at length tried' "Who
ever is' found trespassing i this'" orchard
ehall be spatikatel f, and was successful!.
None of th rre!?' w"V!fn'
Trie Fogs el London
Now let roe speak of the London Fog.-
That is to be seen in London and nowhere
else. Dickens in his description of a Lon
don fog has failed to convey any idea of its
true and odious nature. It gets into your
throat ; it gets into you eyes ; it is dojvn in
the cellar; it is up in the garret; if you
shut the cloor, it comes shivering and eo-o-o-old
through the window, and if you
shut the window, it comes yellow and smo
ky down the chimney. You canyt tjet it
out. I remember, whi&n SDeakinz. one dav
in 1853, in Exter Hall, all of a sudden the
fog came in, and before twenty minutes
from the lime we first saw it, I could not see
the people in the gallery ; and they said ft
was a queer sensation to hear somebody
speaking somewhere but to see him no
where. I have , seen it standing, just like
a wall, in the middle of the street, all bright
ness upon one side and a thick fog npon the
other I have known the gas to be lighted
np in one part of the city, while in another
the people were congratulating themselves
on the beautiful day! -
Upon a foggy morning you wake late,
and you think it is early! It is cold, dirty,
damp and dreary. The streets are very
quiet, for the fog is a poor conductor of
sound. You get up, and everything goes
wrong. You attempt to wash your hands
and away goes the soap under the table.
You undertake to shave, and you can't get
up a lather, and when you try your razor
you feel as Sheridan did when he said to
his son; 'Tom, if you open oysters with
my razor any more I kill you 1' I have
read of a man who was taken up by an
elephant and chucked through a barn doorj
and, said he, I went all ends fust ward
And so you find, on a foggy morning,lhings
ge 'all ends fuitward.' The servants are
behindhand : the
are half boiled.
You look out of the window, and the fog
seems to get thicker. The best thing jon
can do is to close the shutters and light the
gas.
Then if your business calls you to town
non t go in a buss ; go afoot. Everybody I
has a coid, disagreeable look the cheeks
are lilly, the eyes rosy, the nose ditto and
running. You proceed and find everything
in danger. Cabs run into each other; om
nibuses drivers khout to one another in lan
guage not the most polite, ami chaos seems
to have come again. Your office is dingy
and dark. . You light your gas, and are re
minded of Tirnoty Titcomb's description of
fasm; and the sooner you take yourself to
'.he boscm of your, affectionate family if
you have got one the ; better. But how
will you get there ? The the steamers have
stopped running; there is' no cab to be
found ; it is like wading through illumina
ted bean soup: and how will you find your
way 1 I have gone out in a fog for curiosi-
, an funj knowi e , around
-d j . of h ,nnaN,, hs"ln.i tr,..
j 8elf , have feen ,he o 8Q hick (hat ,
i lo gcu(r wUh my few t( finJ ,he curbMone
Gel under a lamp-post and you can see no
Hght-ot.Iy a 'gtory.' As you go home, the
mishaps of the mornin are repeated on an
I D,.nsii nn i
you the boys with links or torches, crying
'a penny a light,' and if you won't give
them a penny they will singe your trousers
for you. And when at last you get home,
you have little desire lo venture out again
in a London fog.
. It is said that the London fog is caused
by the granite particles of dust arising from
trie trathc un the streets and the million bi
tuminous coal fires, the smoky matter of
which mingles with the vapor from the
river, and when the barometer falls it comes
down upon the city. When the barometer
rises, it will ascend and perhaps wholly
disappear. But these fogs never rise more
than two or three hundred feet. They come
principally in November, a&d are seldom
seen afier February. They tell us some
times that the sun never shines in London ;
but it does. It shines gloriously, shines i
brightly: and gay equipages, filled with
beautful women, visit Regent street and the
Strand, while scores of well dressed persona
are to be seen in the streets. It finds its
way into thd nooks and corners, and cheers
the stray plant of the needlewoman's win
dow ; and the sparrow gives an extra churp.
Old Blucher said: 'What a city to plunder!'
and, upon a sunshiny day, you say so too !
GoKgk's Lectures.
. 'Enjotiko Lire.' I must pity that young
man, who, with a little finery of dress and
recklessness of manner, with bis coarse
passions all dagueorrotyped upon his face,
goes whooping through the streets, .driving
an animal much nobler in its conduct
than himself, or swaggers into some haunt
of shame, and calls it 'enjoying life!' He
thinks he is astonishing the world: aiid he
is astonishing the thinking part of it, who
are astonished that he is not astonished at
himself. For look at that compound of flesh
and impudence, and say if on all this earth
there is anything more pitiable. Does he
know-anything of the true joy of life? As
well say that the beauty aud immensity of
the universe were all inclosed in the field
where the prodigal lay among the husks
and swiae. . - - .
CoNTEHTioir I never lore salamanders
that are never well but when they are in
the fire of contention. I will rather suffer
a thousand wrongs than .offer one .1 .will
suffer a buadred'Tather than return: one I
will suffer many, ere I will somplain of
one, and endeavor to right it by contending.
I have ever found that to strive , with my
superior; is fariou5wiih my equal, doubt-
fflore Civillian War. ,
Advices from the Great Kanawha Valley
Army under Gen. Cox represent the bri
gade in a wretched condition, from the want
of military experience and power of com
mand in that officer. 'Insubordination, dis
organization, inefficiency, and incompeten
cy are so palpable that it would be wrong
to pass them over in silence. Several times
within twenty-four hours large bodies of the
men have helped themselves freely to whis
key, and displayed the most disgraceful
drunkenness. The camp last night was in
a locality Affording neither comfort nor
6afety. The precaution of throwing oat
pickets Was neglected in some directions $
end five hundred resolute, well-disciplined
men could have routed the command.-
This morning everything was in dire con
fusion, and there was extreme dissatisfac
tion both among officers and men. The
only safety of our troops lies in the fact that
the rebels are even Worse disorganized than
they. A timely junction with General Ros
encrantz who is an able officer, if affected
may save this unfortunate body of men
from inflicting humiliation and discourage
ment in the national cause in Western Vir
ginia. At present the rebels are flying fas
ter than the Union army can pursue, and
their remaining force in those parts is said
to be completely surrounded. If military
men can be speedily put in place of Cox,
and some of his subordinate political officers
possibly Rosencrantz, may be able to make
effective troops of those disorganized mate
rials in time to render the expected service
to the oppressed people of Kas; Tennessee.
We cannot but tremble, however, for this
interesting and vitally important part of
the campagn, when we hear accounts like
above from our army.
The correspondent of the Trihuve, with
this army, gives from his journal instructive
and touching specimens of the stale of
tilings and of public feeling in that part of
Virginia.
At a farm house two miles west of
Charleston, the approach of our army was
welcomed, by the waving of two Union
flags. The men of the house shook hands
with us cordially. 'I am glad to see the
Federal armysaid he : I have been hunted
like a dog from my house,' and compelled
to hide in the mountains, because 1 loved
the old Union ; but now the running is on
the other side-' His wife exclaimed, 'Thank
God, you have come at last, and that day of
our deliverance is here. I always said that
the Lord was on our side, and that He would
bring us through safety.'
Two of the ladies proved to be strong se
ceerioiiiMs. 'One of them was very appre
hensive that it lie slaves would be set free,
as Gov. Wise had assured them that the
Northern army was accompanied by five
thousand emancipated negroes.
Upon reaching Charleston a town of
2,500 people we found two fine Union
flags flying, one planted on the Court House
and the other raied by a citizen, who kept
it concealed between his mattresses while
Wise's army was here. The troops were
cheered very lustly, and many small Union
flags waved as they passed.
Men, women and children in groups up
on the the shore, displayed a marvelous
number of little Union flags, and hailed the
troops with the most unmistakable enthusi
asm. At Maiden, an old gentleman who
had been impri&onsd for Union sentiments,
was hardly able to contain himself, but
mounted a rock and extemporized a speech
of thanks to the Union troops and the Lord
Women, with tear in their eyes, told us
how anxiously they bad looked ior the Fed
eral arm) ; how their houtes had been rob
bed, their ' husbands hunted through the
mountains, imprisoned, and ia many cases
impressed into the southern army. Ne
groes of all ages joined in the huzzaing with
most extravagant demonstrations ot glee,
swinging flags as a woodmen swings his
axe, bending themselves almost double with
delight, sending shouts of laughter echoing
through the glens.
A New Rkoimsnt, to fic Armed with
Scythes. A large meeting of German citi
zens was held on Thursday evening, the 25
inst., at Stac'elbergers Hall, No. 624 Eighth
venue, New York, for the purpose ,of ta
king energetic steps to support our Govern
ment. , Mr. Adam Roediger, being called lo
the chair, exptained - briefly the object of
the meeting. " He introduced Mr. Frederick
Kapp, delivered an eloquent speech, and
expressed the hope 'that the people would
respond nobly to the call for more troops.
He spokrt in favor of the proposition made
by:Mr. Roediger, to organize a regiment to
be armed with scythes. Such a regiment
would not cost much, and be of great ser
vice, if properly directed. They would be
a terror to the enemy's cavalry. Similar
regiments were fighting in the Folish revo
lution, and no doubt there are plenty men
here who could handle a scythe. . A com
mittee : was appointed, consisting of Messrs
Roediger, Koon and Stone, to confer with
the othei Wards. The meeting then adjourn ed,
subject to the call of the Chair.
-The following is a pretty good take-off on
the fulsome style of oar public speakers-:
A negro orator thus concludes an account
of the death of a colored brother : "De last
word dat be was heard to say, de last word
he was known to speak, de last s word he
was noticed to otter, de last word 'Be reber
pronounced, de last syllable he heaped, de
last idea be eber ejaculated; yes my breth
j en, de berry last word he eber was known
& Shameful Affair.
The Venango Spectator published at Frank
lin, gives us the following account of one
the most reckless, brutal and fiendish outra
ges thathave yet resulted from the lawless
attempts to crush the,freedom of 6peech. To
what state roust a community have arrived
that tolerates such an atrocious Condition of
public sentiment as this report shows? Bad
as it is though, it is but an index of the inev
itable results that mnst follow the continued
teachings of the abomnable sentiments that
have been instilled into the public mind of
late, by the leaders and presses of the Re
publican party. The Spectator says c
"A gentleman, whose veracity is un
doubted, informs us of the particulars of an
outrage committed upon the family of Mr.
Jacob Dietrich, of Pinegrove township, on
the 22d of June last. The substance of our
informant's statemenet is, that on that day
there was a pole raising at Centreville,
near Mr. D'a residenec, in which all parties
assisted, and that all things proceeded in
harmony until about 5, l M. About that
time two boys, one a son of Mr. Dielerich,
commenced renewing an old quarrel,
which resulted in several other persons
taking part against young Dielerich. A
crowd ot persons, several of whom were
armed, chased young Dielerich to his father's
house. On arriving at the fence, in front
of the house, several of the mob seized Mr.
D., across the fence and tore his shirt from
his back. Some half dozen then crossed
the fence and commenced an attack upon
this one unarmed man. During this melee
a portion of the gang entered the house, one
of whom was scalded by Mrs. D , and an
oiher knocked down by a stove lid in '.he
hands of her son. They seized Mr. Die
terich's gun, which they brought out and
broke to pieces on the fence. A gun was
pointed at him by one of the mob and his
life saved by a man knocking the gnn aside
as it exploded.
"Mr. Dieterich, with the weapons that
nature gave him, drove the mob from the
house. He is a stout man and was in a fair
way of whipping the whole party. The lea
der of the armed portion of the mob tlien
ordered his men to load with ball. Mr.
Dieterich, iiilormed of his dunger, made his
escape from the back part of his house and
ran towards the woods, a short dictance.--While
running, some ten shots were fired
at him, but he fortunately Was not hit. Af
ter Mr. D.'s escape the mob again entered
the house, seized Mis. D. and told her the
only way to Fave her life was to come but
and carry the flag they had with them.
They threatened fo kill her if she refused,
and to burn the house. The mob, howevei
dragged her out, forced the flag into her
hands, and compelled her to carry it. They
then look their departure, threatening to re
turn and sweep all the Democrats from
Pinegrove township."
A Story of Butchery and Blood.
lValiinton Correspondence of the Chicago
Jour na.
Since the battle of Bnll Run, I have con
versed with many officers and soldiers that
participated in the contest and of these,
scores have testified to the most shocking
acts of torture and barbarity, practiced upon
our wounded by the Rebel soldiers. Two
fine appearing men of the Massachusetts
5th told me of the inhuman butchery of one
of their comrades a Lieutenant in the com
pany lo which they belong. He was wound
ed in the knee and fell into the hands of
the enemy after crawling some rods in his
attempt to escape. He was surrounded by
a small squad of Rebels, one of whom de
manded of the wounded loyalist his name
and place of residence.
"My name, Sir, is Franklin Smith," re
plied the prostrate and bleeding soldier,
"and I belong to the 5th regiment of Mas
sachu6etts Volunteers."
"Why don't you say at once that you're
a G d d d Yankee retorted one of
the rebel assasius, at the same lime dis
playing a long, murderous looking knife,
and with it making such demonstrations as
to thow his bloody intentions.
The young Lieutenant made no cowardly
appeals for mercy, yet expressed his sur
prise at the treatment thus extended to a
wounded prisoner of war. "You under
stand," said he, "that I have surrendered,
and you cannot mean lo kill me?"
' The immediate response to this was not
beard by our informants, but they heard
several of the rebels cry out, "kill him!"
"He's a d d blue bellied Yankee. Knife
him."
"And where were you that you did not
shoot the villain?" I inquired.
"We were cut off from our regiment,"
replied one of my informants, "and were
hiding in a thick clump of bushes, within a
few yards of straggling bands of tbe enemy,
and were watching an opportunity to make
our escape. The least noise would have
cost us our lives. Indeed, we expected
every moment to be discovered, aod 6bare
the fate of our comrade. Besides, one ef
our muskets was broken so that we could
have fired but a single shot. We staid till
all was over with poor Frank. He did ihe
best he could to defend himself, but his
arms were held by the cowardly devils,
while the infernal butcher with the bowie
knife, cut his throat, as near as we can
judge, almost severing the head from the
body !'
This is a difficult story - to credit, and I
chould have listened to it with more of
doubt than confidence, had not" the tears
and choked cttera neejnfj rxaKVial;
THE HEARTS STORY.
" BT AGLUS FORBISTIR.
I'm musing on the happy past,
The spring-time of my life,
When every tone of wind and wave
With melody Was rife j
When all yooth'B hopes and promises,
The rainbows of my sky,
Danced forth in fairy visions
Before my wandering eye.
My heart is with the leaping rills
That mumur round the home
Where first my lips were taught to speak,
My tiny feet to roam j ,
The sweet songs of the happy birds,
The wispering wild-voice breeze
That caught the faint breath of the rose,
And waved amid the trees.
Oh. for the bright and gladsome hours,
When, like a wandering stream,
My spirit Canghl from earth and sky
The light of every beam t
Collecting the Fafe.
JiruBha came into the city yesterday, to
see her cousin. Jerusha had never in her
life ridden in a horse Car, so Jednthan took
her to Cottage Grove to see the soldiers.
Jerushft is a fair maiden to look upon. Je
rusha has been told the same by her sweet
heart as often as twice, and, as a natural
consequence, and as the miror rejected the
same insinuation, Jerusha knows that she
is fair. Well, this subject mnst have been
running in the country girl's head yesterday.
Jedulhan had found an acquaintance at the
other end of the car, with whom he was
busy discussing the war, when the bashful
and very polite conductor Came around for
her tickets and small change. Conductor
stepped up to Jerusha, and said, "Your fare
miss!" - And he said it in such a fascinat
ing, tripping style, we thought it no matter
of wonder that the maiden blushed slightly.
She did not know he was conductor. He
appeared to be anything but that. Not re
ceiving the money the young man repeated
"Your fare, Miss !" No change again, but
a deep blush o'erspread the already rosy
cheeks of the pretty country girl. "Your
fare," (be conductor repeated for the third
time. "Do you think so?" was the unex
pected and astonished query. "They say,
out in Kane county, that I'll do when there's
none handsomer around!' "This capped the
climax, and the whole croud male and fe
male, in the car, burst into a fit ot cach
ination hard to beat, as the modest con
ductor and innocent rustic , the one standing
petrified, dumbfounded, and ibeother sit
ting with that pleased, simple expression,
and that carnation hue still resting on her
cheek, looking each other in the counte
nance inquiringly, and at a loss to know
why the people laughed, and what they had
said or done to create such a rumpus. At
this juncture, Jedulhan came up, perceived
the mistake his faircousian hade made,
paid the fare, and immediately thereatter
stopped the car, got out with his fair Jeru
sha, and coucluded to wait awhile before
going to camp. They took the next street
car, which as good luck would have it, was
managed by the ugliest and r oughesl con
ductor in the employ of the City Railroad
Company, with whom there was no dan
ger of a repetion of the fare contempts.
Jerusha considers herself insulted now, and
her friends cannot repress a smile, when any
wicked one calls her "faie." Chicago Times.
Three Chances for a Wife.
When a man has three chances for a wife
it is a hard mischance if he should fail.
The following is a case which might have
occurred 'down East,' but it is doubtful if
any similar occurrence was ever known in
any other part of the world.
I oHce courted a gal by the name of Deb
Hawkim. I made up rny mind to get mar
ried. 'Well, while we were going to the
deacon's 1 stepped into a mud puddle and
spattered the mud all over Deb Hawkin's
new gown, made out of her grandmother's
old chintz petticoat. Well when we got to
the deacon's he asked Deb if she would
have me for her lawful wedded husband?
'No,' says she .
. 'Reason ?' says I.
'Why,' says she, 'I've taken a dislikin to
you.'
Well it was all up then, but I gave her a
string of beads, a few kisses, some other
notions, and made it all up with her; so
we went up to the deacon's a second time.
I was determined to come up with her this
time, so when the deacon asked me if I
would take her for my lawful wedded wife,
says I
'No, I shan't do no such thing.'
'Why,' says Deb,"what on airth is the
matter?'
'Why,' says I, '1 have taken a dislikin' to
you now.'
Well, then it was all over again ; but I
gave her a new apron and a few other trink
ets, and we went up again to get married.
We expected that we would be tied so fast
that all nature couldn't separate us ; and
when we asked the deacon if he would
marry us, he said i
'No, I shan't do any such thing.'
'Why, what on airth is the reason?' says
we.
'Why,' says he, 'I've taken a dislikin' to
both of you."
Deb bjrft out crying, ihe deacon burst
out scoldin' 'and I buret out laughin,' and
such a set of busters you never did see.',
A woman down East has commenced a
suit of 'divorce against her husband, be
cause he would not allow her to apply her
the Tailor and Dean Swift.
A tailor in Dublin, near the residence of
the Dean, took into his head that he was
specially and divinely inspired to intsrpret
the prophecies, and especially the book of
Revelation : Quitting the shop board, be
turned out a preacher, ot rather a pTophet,
until bis customers had left bis snop, and
his family was likely to famish.
His monomania was well known to Dean
Swift, who benevolently watched for some
convenient opportunity to turn the current
of his thoughts. One night the tailor as he
fancied, got a special revelation to go and
convert Dean Swift, and the next morning
took up his line of march for the deanery.
The Dean ' whose study was furnished a
glas door, saw the tailor approach, and in
stantly surmised the nature of bis errand.-
Throwing himself into an attitude of solem
nity and his eyes fixed on the tenth chap
ter of Revelation be awaited his approach.
The door opened, and the tailor announc
ed an unearthly voice, the message. "Deari
Swift, I am sent by the Almighty to an
nounce to you' 'Come in my friend, 'said
the Dean, 'I am in great trouble, and no
doubt 'the Lord has sent you to help me
out of my difficulty.'
This unexpected welcome inspired the
tailor, strengthened greatly his assurance
in his own prophetic character, and dispo
sed him to listen to the disclosure.
'My friend,' said the Dean, '1 have just
been reading the tenth chapter of Revela
tion, and am greatly distressed at a difficult
ty. 1 have met with; and you are the very
man sent to help me out. Here is an ac
count of an angel that Came down from
heaven, who was so large that he placed
one foot on the sea, aod the other on thd
earth, and lifted up his hands to heaven
Now my knowledge of mathematics, con
tinued Dean, has enabled me to calculate
exactly the size and form of the angel ; but
I am in great difficulty, for I wish to ascer
tain how much cloth it will lake to make
him a pair of breeches, and as that is ex
actly in your line of business, I have no
doubt the Lord hs sent you to show me.
This sudden explosion came like an elee
trie shock to the poor tailor he rushed front
the house, ran to bis shop, and a sudden
revulsion of thought and feeling came over
him. Making breeches was exactly in hit
line of business. He returned to his occu
pation thoroughly cured of his prophetical
revelation by the wit of the Dean. ' .' f
A Liar Among the many anecdotes of
Buena Vista one beats all others. An
Arkansas soldier being wounded, asked an
Irishman to take him off the field. The
latter did so by assisting him to mount and
strapping him on his horse, the irishman
riding before. During the ride the wounded
Arkansian had his head cut off by a cannon
ball, unknown to bib companion. Arriving
at the surgeon's quarters the Irishman was
asked what he wanted.
"I brought this man to have his leg dregs
ed,"said Pat.
:Why," replied the surgon, "his head
is shot oil!"
The bloody liar !" exclaimed Pat,looking
behnd him ; "he told roe he was only shot
in the leg.J
A yousg man lately volunteered his eer
vices lo a lady from a party. On the way
he becudgled his biaina for some interes
ting topic of conversation to amuse herwith
he could not bit upon nothing until they met
several cows. Here was a topic which the
swain immediately laid hold of, and with
much simplicity remarked: c,Now, ain't it
strange what a motherly appearance a cow
has ?" To which the ladyjreplied:
"I doat think it strange at all,sir, that a
cow should have a motherly appearance to
a calf.?
A Rt Story. We are assured that once,
in Scotland, a thrifty laird, finding his store
of eggs diminishing, watched to see. how
the thieves could carry them away. He
saw three rats go together to the pile of eggs,
when, one turning on his back, the others
rolled an egg upon him, which he clasped
safely to his bosom, and his companions,
taking his tail in their mouths, started
off like a team drawing a sledge, and disap
peared behind some barrels which were
the outer fortifications of their castle.
Our little Johnny, going to dine with his
grandmother on his birthday, partook so
freely of the good things on the table that
a second piece of pudding became an im
posibility. The old lady, seeing his eye
dwell longingly on the tempting opject said
"Johnny, don't you think yon could man
age an other piece?" Johnny, looking
doubtful fo a moment, but a light breaking
over his face, immediately exclamed, "Per
haps if 1 was to Bland vp I might eat an
other!" A captain, who belongs to the regular
army, and was in General Patterson's di
vision, publicly made the following re
marks : Any man who says that Gen.
Patterson could have intercepted the Rebel
General, Johnston, asserts a simple absur
dity. It could not have been done. John
ston perfect!' understood the country, and
had with him over forty thousand men ; '
while Patterson did' not understand tbe
country topographicaly, and had wiib. him '
only sixteen thousand avilable men." ' ' '
s
A Change. Gen. Lse bas been assigned
the command on the upper Potomac in ?
xr,i , n, i. i- i ' . . i
p.
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