1
r
IF. U. JACOBF, Proprietor.;
Troth and Right God and our Country.
Two Dollars rr Annum.
VOLUME 13.
BLOOMSBURG, COLUMBIA COUNTY, PA., WEDNESDAY APRIL 3, L861.
NUMBER 13.
J' i -
STAR OF THE NORTH
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From the Militonian
HOPE 13 THE HOUR OF SEED.
B7 MYBA.
The rain comes down as sadly
As sorrow's tear drops fall,
And nature and my heart alike,
Wear each a luneral pall.
Although so much of sorrow
Has mingled with my life, -
Help comes not with the morrow,
JTis dark with angry strife.
Up ! weary soul, and gird thee !
Bind thy strong armor on,
For dangers dire assail thee,
Aud honor must be woo.
I hew the tempest raging
The elements of woe,
It waits but for thy presence
As warrior for a foe.
The night of gloom grows darker.
Deeper the shadows lie,
But, through the solemn silence,
My soul seuds forth no cry.
Strong in thy faith, thy purity,
Go firmly on. oh soul !
Thy God will be thy surly
That thou shall reach the goal.
THE BLACK SPOT.
A STORY FROM CHINA.
There was much mirth at Hong Kong.
That little rock of an islanda perfect ter
Testial paradox, so rich is it, and at the
-same time, so unproductive, had lately re
ceived a substantial addition to its stock o(
European inhabitants A battalion of her
Majesty's Infantry, two batteries of artiller
y, a detachment of sappers, and a body of
marines, had been landed ; while eleven
new Fail, what with steam frigate, were at
anchor in the Roads. There was a new
attorney genera!, too and several' new
clerks, secretaries and aids-de-carop to the
governor, for the climate is a trying one, a
vapor bath in one wind, a kiln in another,
and there is a great consumption of young
gentlemen holding official situations at
Hon; Kong. The governor gave four din
ners and a ball, for British hospitality does
not grow mildewed in the far east, and the
Rifles gave a ball, and to did the 1 17th Foot,
and so did the admiral, and the chief jus
tice followed suit. Then the civilians had
their turn. By civilians, in this case, I do
-not mean civilians in the Anglo-Indians
sense of the world, but merely the mer
chant princes of Hong Kong, men who
have appointed themselves to irresponsible
offices, in a mutderous climate, at salaries
absolutely fabulous. Trade is more profit"
able there, in that small golden key-hole
that unlocks the boundless Chinese Em
pire, than perhaps in any other cranny of
Earth, but the Nemesis that awaits on profit
is not absent. No one's liver is in its nor
mal condition, and the old "residenter"
migh: be gorged with their own gold, so
yellow is the Permanent complexion. But
Ihey are hospitable folks, these mighty
merchants, and the ball at the club rooms
ia Victoria Town promised to eclipse those
which the governor and the chief justice,
and the 118th, in their white washed mess
room, and the admiral oa board his gaily
lighted flag ship, bad given .during the past
fortnight.
The ball was a splendid affair. The ;
bands of three regiments had been culled .
for the choicest musicians ; Cantonese gar- j
ueners bad furnished, despite hostilities be
tween oar Qaeea and the brother of the
sun and Moon, a perfect bower of tulips
and rones for the occasion. Every green
thing on the island must have been cut
down to furnish the verdant covering of the
portico, and about a ship load of the Wen
ham Lake Company's ice bad been bespo
ken lor the refreshment and refrigeration,
of tbe guests. As for the cupper, . Europe,
India, and China had united their efforts
and dona their best. Gold and silver plate,
vouderoas porcelain, glass of England, and
Bohemia, crystal lamps, delicate viands,
coftly wines, obsequious waiters, all that
lo'lars and trouble could produce and dol
lars and trouble can effect a good deal
were forthcoming, and all that was wanted
to promote the happiness of the company
was one pure breath of the cool healthy
breeze from home.
'pot this the Hong Kong merchants could
Btt give them, nor Fortnom tie Mason
ettpply. The ball went off very well.
Thera were crowded rooms crowded for
colonial rooms at least, and that is a great
Kjsrcs of enjoyment, for people cannot take
(heir pleasure thoroughly unless they are
devoid of elbow room. There were not
Eiaay ladies, to jadge of matter by Euro
jeaa standards. This Hon; Kong ball was
a very diiTcrant affair from those country
giesrib!a?3, where the dacbttrs of clergy
ilea and htlf pay cheers sit around the
ytiMs a??a of r" f I took muslin
with the air of a sultan, and tantalises the
expectant misses before he makes one of
them proud and happj by an invitation to
dance. No, in India or in China ladies are
at a premium, and learn their own real
value. Where there is but one pair of fair
shoulders and one pair of bright eyes to
every dozen of red coats or blue ones, the
disparity of the sexes tells entirely in the
ladies' favor. Such was tbe case at Hons
Kong, but there were handsome women
present, and however few, they attracted
none the less admiration.
Among them, beyond comparison, the
btjlesoi tbe ball room, was the beautiful
Mrs. G. a fair young vife, almost a
bride, who had just come oat from Eng
land with her husband, Captain G , the
junior captain of the Rifles Captain G
"Geordie," as we used to call him, had just
got his promotion before sailing, and had
been married less than a year. He was a
fine, manly fellow, the beet cricketer and
oarsman in the Rifles, and a favorite with
old and young, high and low. He deserved
the Victoria Cross ia the Crimea, every
body said, I don't know how he missed get
ting it ; and tbe men swore by him, and
would have followed him through fire and
water. It was a great proof of poor Geor
die's popularity that I don't think anybody
grudged him bis good luck in getting such
a peerless wife as Mrs. G , the beauti
ful newcomer, was considered. All the
ecsigns and middies, and half the lieuten
ants navy and military, to gay nothing of
the parboiled young gentlemen in mercan
tile houses, were fairly raving after the an
gelic stranger The toolish boys devoured
her with their eyes, and wrote sonnets to
their eyebrows, for aught I know, and she
never moved along the Utile parade at band
time without an overwhelming escort ; but
&o one ever said that Geordie was not
worthy of the good luck he had found, and
the geat prize he had drawn in the lottery
matrimonial he, the "best fellow," in
the service. I do not remember a more
attached couple, and yet so free were they
from the regular Edwin and Angelina pa
thos, the cot am popelo demonstrations, that a
superficial observer would have set Mrs.
G down for a flirt, and . Geordie for a
careless fellow Yet everybody knew how
they loved each other, everybody, down to
that stupid garrison Adonis, young Cram
inton ol the Horse Artillery, who has since
owned to me that he had penned nine cop
ies of heart breaking verses oj pink paper,
nine ' perfumed bil'ets," as the young
booby called them and never dared, some
how, to deliver to their destined recipient
any of these inestimable productions.
however, cn this night at least, Mrs. G.
was in the highest spirits, and waltzed and
flirted, wall, to all- appearance, and was the
very centre of attraction the target of all
eyes. Geordie, who knew' her too well to
be easily made jealous, was in very good
spirits too r so were most people. It was a
very gay night, all the gayer because ac
tive hostilities were expected between John
Chinaman and bis namesake and beat cus
tomer Mr. John Bull. Nothing gives so
high a zest to life as a specie of danger, es
pecially in that enervating tropical climate,
and. many who are destined to parish in
gloriously by sun and malaria were laugh
ing and chatting gaily, with hearts beating
high over the expected campaign. At the
buffet, where refreshments were in great
demand, Captain G was the centre
of a merry group who were drinking in li
bations of champagne to the future educa
tion of the flowery land an education only
to be prefaced and grounded by the exer
tions of those manly figures in red and blue
with the V. R. on their buttons, whom her
Majesty had sent as school mas.ers to teach
the celestial gentry respect for tbe law of
nations. Mrs. G went through dance
after dance, is the band played on with
admirable taste and spirit, and still partners
buzzed arojnd her, and her little ivory
memorandum book was filled with writing
as a bank ledger. It was wonderful how
actively tbe dancing went on, aud on such
a night. Even for Hong Kong it was pro
nounced hot. The day bad been broiling,
and the night was sultry to a degree hardly
to be realized by mere imagination.
It was not the beat alone, though that
was bad enough, for every rock was radia
ting the terrific amount of caloric it had
sucked in through the long baking Lours of
the sunlight. Not the heat alone, but the
pecnliar heavy atmosphere, the suffocating
steam, the moist vapor so peculiar to China
in which the strong - perfume of tbe great
tropical flowers is so sickly and rich as to
load thii dull air. No! a breath of wind
wept over the icland, or if it did, Victoria
Mountain kept off every puff ol the faint
sea Breeze from Victoria Town. The city
swettered in the heat. In the ball room,
the weight and warmth of the atmosphere
an atmosphere almost suffocating op
pressive as a steaming blanket wrapped
around each miserable individual began
to tell. The company gasped, and ate ice,
and drank frothing champaigne, and fra
grant lemonades, and sherbets, and cup,
and sangaree, and bass,, all iced to tbe
limits of refrigerators, and then gasped and
danced again. Mrs. G , gayest and
prettiest of all the women present, was
still the life of the room. There were plen
ty of waiters of course, in '.he (ea room, the
cupper room, and the corridors, bustling
about with trays pf ices, cooling drinks
wine, and all the crinkum crank urns of a
rout. Surse of thern were Europeaa ser-
Lung, the old comprador or steward of the
club, as honest a manager as China could
produce, and as shrewd also. He was a
native of Chusan, and bad followed our
people's fortunes when we abandoned that
large island after making peace with the
Dragon Emperor. No man knew so much
of Chinese and British peculiarities as
Ching Lung. He could manage both na
tions to his and her entire satisfaction
The club highly valued their excellent com
pador the natives obeyed and liked him,
and his sayings were reputed considerable.
None but a clever man could have done
these things, and pleased such opposite in
terests, and Ching-Lung was a clever man.
In matters celestial he was a dictionary.
If you wanted real ''pigeon" information,
the old comprador could tell you more about
China than you could learn from all the
Blue Books ever printed at the national ex
pense. In person, Ching-Lung was stout
and jovial, a burly old China man in flow
ered slippers, a silk robe, and a tremendous
pigtail of carefully tied hair, with the pol
ished claw like fingernails that denote a
native gentleman. There he was, presi
ding over the ices, and scolding the Chi
nese waiters. When Mrs G entered
the tea-room on one occasion, early in the
evening, tbe old covprador started as he
looked keenly at the beautiful "Faukwi"
lady. She passed by him, repressing good
naturedly, a smile at his outlandish dress
and figure. He stared afler her with seem
ing rudeness, or curiosity, and then gave a
grunt, and wheeled off to his avocations.
Several officers noticed this, but Ching was
a character, and no one asked what he
meant, or if he meant anything. It vas an
hoar or more before Mrs. G left the
ball-room again. This time she entered
the supper room, leaning on her partner's
arm. While tbe latter procured her some
refreshment, the old Chinaman hovered
near, looked sharply at the fair ''barbarian,"
and then drew back with a muttered remark
in his native tongue. Mrs. G never
noticed him. Two minutes alter, Ching-
Lung was seen in close confabulation with
the doctor of the Rifles, a sensible expe
rienced surgeon, who had been three years
in Hong Kong, who had served on the med
ical staff in the old war, and who was re
garded as the chief professional authority
on the island aye, though there were staff
surgeons in plenty, aud tilled physician to '
the forces. Dr. Rogers was a man who
knew China well. He seemed much dis
turbed as Ching took him by the lappel of
his coat, and whispered some communica
tion. The two men's eyes ranged across
the ball room, in the door-way of which
they stood a little apart, and fixed on Mrs.
G . The eyes of several loungers fol
lowed theirs by a common impulse. What
did they see ? Surely, no terrible sight..
but a young, happy, high bred Englishwo
man, radiant with beauty, health and gaie
ty, crowned with flowers, and sweeping
through the ball room like i's queen.
What was there in all this to make old
miig )ui uV ui cij)itio muese
mouth, aud Dr. Rogers lift his eyebrows,
and bite his lips, with a brow that knit with
a spasm of involuntary anxiety. Smooth
ing his ruffled brow, the doctor stepped
from his place, passed Mrs. G , and
looked full and steadily on her face. She
looked surprised, aud a little annoyed, but
presently turned away smiling. She thought
the doctor, no doubt, and odd, rude old
gentleman. Very much compressed were
the doctor's lips, and very often did the
frown of care return to the doctor's brow,
as he threaded bis way ihrongh the crowd,
m06t of whom bad some slight or merry
remark to bestow on so popular a character
until he reached the place where Captain
G-
was talking to the Colonel's wife
and two other ladies seated on an ottoman.
The doctor drew Geordie aside they were
old friends and begged as a particular
favor that he would take his wife home,
away from the ball, but without alarming
her.
"Alarming her !" said Geordie, quite in
the dark as to the other's meaning. "Why,
what a Blue Beard yon would make roe
turn out doctor. She's engaged twelve deep
I'll be bound, and it wants an hour of supper-time,
and I can't get her away. Be
sides, she's not tired. Why should she go,
yoa know V
To this Dr. Rogers merely answered that
be begged, as a favor, that Captain G
would take Mrs. G home. It must
be done, and would be for the best. And
being hard pressed for his reason, the doc
tor said Mrs. G was about to be ill.
It was his doty to ask her husband to take
her away from tbe crowded room.
Captain G laoghed incredulously
at first, but it was a hollow forced laugh
It was plain that he did not believe in his
own disbelief, he knew the good old Medco
too well to suspect him of jesting on such
a point. His voice quivered as he asked
for an explanation.
"Well, if yon will have it," said Dr. Rog
ers, laying his hand on Geordie's arm,
"there is something wrong with your wife.
Old Ching noticed it first, and told me of it,
and I noticed it myself, and I have seen
snch a thing but twice before, and both
times in China. Pray heaven that this may
not end as it did in both those instances 1"
"Speak out, man, yoa torture me ?" said
Captain G , gasping for breath and
tery pale.
"It is a trifling matter, in appearance at
i . i j r . t : i i Lt.ii..
j "it is a small black . epot- on your wife's;
"And what is it? For the sake of all
that's sacred, what is it ?" askod G-
quite fiercely.
The doctor, noticing how quickly the
group was increasing, drew his friend a few
back and whispered something iti his ear.
The effect on Geordie was terrible. The
brave man trembled visibly, and shook
from head to foot, while his bronzed face
became of an ashey paleness. Then, fol
lowed by tbe doctor, who vainly tried to
keep pace with him, he hurried up to the
place where his wife was wheeling in the
mazes cf the waltz. He strode recklessly
in among dancers ;- his wild haggard looks
and brusque gestures caused some confu
sion and surprise. His wife saw him and
started, and with a word to her partner stood
still. How beautiful! flushed and excited
with the dance, crowned with flowers, rich
ly, yet tastefully dressed; how, too, her
fresh English bloom contrasted with the
palor of most of the other women present;
how her bright blue eyes rested with won
der on G with apprehension lor him,
lest he should be ill. Certainly, if one of
those two were in mortal danger, any ob
server would have selected the husband as
the one who bore the marks of it. But G
was careless of that. All his soul
was in his gaze, as he beheld in the centre
of hi wile's blooming cheek, a small black
spot, not much larger than the head of a
large black pin, and quite circular. It did
not disfigure her only a keen eye could dis
tinguish it ; and, when seen, it resembled
some of those "beauty patches" with which
the belles or lhe last century used to give
an additional piquancy to their charms.
Yes, there it was, the black spot the doctor
had described. By a great effort G
smoothed his features and tried to smile, as
he begged pardon of tbe company. He
had iuterruptea them very rudely, he said
they had all left off dancing by this time
and he begged they would go on and not
mind him. The musicians had ceased
playing ; he waved his hand impatiently;
they went on. His ife approached him,
her partner by her side, a Naval Comman-
der, who did not feel at all disposed to fore-
go the rest of his dance with the queen of
the ball. "Was he ill ?" she asked in anx-
ious wnisper. "iv, no, ne was not t ;
Dut ne wished she wou.d come away
come home with him directly." He would
give no reason
His manner was irritable
harsh, unusual. The young wife looked at
him with surprise ; tears gathered in her
blue eyes ; but she wa3 not without spiri',
and she dashed them proudly away. She
could not leave yet, she said ; she was en
gaged for several dances. If there was to be
no reason giving for leaving so abruptly,
she could not be so uucivil lo her partners.
And in a moment more the Commander j
whirled off. G stood and bit his lips j
She dance once, twice, ihrice more. G
stood moodily watching her, the doctor at;
his elbow. It was sad, agonizing to poor!
G
to watch that glorious creature,
, and to know that 6he bore on her ftLCe tho
1
. martc oi wnat i jcven trie uoctor snrur.K
from telling G all be feared. Her
momentary burst ot hurt womanly pride
was over; the 6ight of her husband's anx-
ious face disturbed her; her gaiety fled ;
the compliments of her partners were nn-
l m si m It A kanriait fit VkA AW m cm . m j-fcft
uoaiu , buo "boou " t",v"cu i ,0" ttns manner that poor jirs. u met ner
the gentleman on whose arm she leant, j death. The black tput, unnoted at first by
and came op to G with a sunny J aj eye;j Pave jier OWI1 aruj neg!ecied by
smile. f'I will be good uow, and come j herself, was the mark of incipient mortifi
home." j cation, the centre of the gangrene that
The doctor whispered to G to in- , 8pread and spread, painlessly but inevita-
troduce him. G horridly oomplied. j bV) un,ii wnat had been a scarce seen
His wife recognized the old gentleman who - ?eck. proved sufficient to cut short that
had stared so pertinaciously at her; his , ;air Y0Ung jife. The doclor took lo
eyes observed her still. He whispered a j him?eif ,or not having insisted, in defiance
word to the Captain. Geordie tried to be j of orainary rules, on the young lady's quit
calm as he asked his wife if she if she . ling the baU room at once) bul tbe lope
was not aware that a small black spot, a that ne michl be mis,akerij anj a wi(ih to
mere speck, was on her left cheek. She ppare G as nuch as possible, made
blushed and laoghed. Yes, she saw it in him hesitate in speaking out. But it was
the glass when dressing. She could not th inion of aIl the medicai n,eri on the
ruo it away, sne tnougni u wouui go oi
itself. I had annoyed her a little, because
it looked so like one of those absurb patch
es, but she hoped nobody noticed it.
"Excuse me. madam," said Dr. Rogers,
"it may be of more consequence than you
are aware of. I am an old doctor, and may
be allowed to ask some question. Does it
give any pain V
"None none at all "
The doctor looked graver still.
"There is a glass nearly opposite. Please
to look, and see if it has increased in size."
The lady, half-frightened, corapled. 'Yes,
it has, indeed it is four timet, as large as it
was, almost as large as a pea how tire
feome !''
"One more question," 6aid the doctor.
"Havti yoa any idea what brought it?"
"None," answered Mrs. G . "George,
love, I think I would rather go."
"Think again," pressed the doctor. "Has
any reptile any insect ? "
"Yes, Dr. Rogers," said the now last-fading
beauty; "yes, but no ! that could not be
it, and I was silly to think twice of so tri
fling a thing as the bite of a fly !"
"A fly ? What sort of ally?" exclaimed
the doclor.
"One of those black flies that were in
tbe verandah, a tiresome buzzing thing; it
stung me very sharply just there, on the
left cheek where the spot is. 1 thought
nothing of it when the pain went off. It
was a long sort of fly, with a shining body
and glistening greenish wings."
'The Baal -Tse ! the Bl&ck Jupiter Fly I
know it- Chins know it," - said a horse
they drew her from the room, wrapped her
shawl around her, and hurried her home
The music struck cheerily up, the dance
went on. supper succeeded, (a very sump
tuous affair,) and then followed more dan
ces, but by degrees the mirth languished,
and a sort of uncomfortable feeling or ap
prehension and gloom pervaded the guests
Strange whispers, muttered hints, went
round; the very Chinese servants had an
ominous look. By degrees almost every
body became aware that some mischance
had befallen ihe the fair young Englishwo
man whom they had just welcomed among
them. None knew the exact truth, but all i
had some inkling of it. Then, too, there
was a fellow-feeling, perhaps half selfish,
among exiles in a sickly clime ; the insid
ious pest that strikes one to-day may strike
another to morrow. Accrdingly tho high
spirits of all ebbed away, and ball so gaily
begun came to an untimely close. Two or
three officers went to seo the doctor in his
quarters, lata as it was, to learn the truth.
The doctor was absent. He was at Capt.
G 's bungalow, his servant said, lie
had sent for his portable medicine chest.
Also the physician to the lorces, and the
marina surgeon, had been called up. The
next morning, when most of the officer
were at breakfast in the barrack mess-room,
a subaltern entered hastily.
Have you heard about poor Mrs G !"
"What? Dead 1"
It was even so. She had been cut down
in the very pride of her beauty, like some
queenly beauty. It was awlully sudden.
It threw a gloom, for a while, even over
merry, sickly, festival-loving Hon? Kong
II broke her husband's life and hope at a
blow. He never was seen to smile after
her lots, he shrunk away from his old
friends ; he left the Rifles, exchanging into
a regiment that was serving in Upper India
and died of fever in Terai. Poor Geordie !
I have taken some liberties with the names
of those concerned, but there are not a few
living who will be able to recognize, under
this mask a true tale.
Now, to clear np the seeming mvsterv of ;
lhe Black SpoL Toere is a fly wbi,h or the J
mischief it does is known and feared thto'-
out thd East, and which is usually called i
I the Baal Fly or Jupiter Fly. Its bite is zen- j
erally most fatal to cattle. It is identified
with the Baal Zebub of Scripture, the type
under which the arch enemy was depicted.
The fatal Tsetse Fly of Central Africa,
which Dr Livingston has so well describe;!,
the Baal Fly of Syria, and the Baal Tse of j
China are akin in appearances and effects, j
while the names, even, are singularly iden- i
tical. This fly is seldom very hurtful to the
j human race, except when it has laiely been
I feeding on carrio.i, and thus communicates
marbid virus of decomposed animal matter
to tie Tejn8 Df a Jiving being This occa-
6;ona!y happens in Europe, and in the
case cf be common house fly and the buzz,
or greenish carrion fly But this is rare in-
! deed, and only three or four cae of death
' Arcuinr frnm cii.h hito n r a rctrrtt i within
t 0 W.HWVJ . w v . v- V,
j the last six or seven years on the continent
I f Eurooe. In the East, with a sun Pecu-
, iariy adapted to the hastening of disease,
; ,h Paih from ihi insi.llnim a minis!f.rf;l
j ..w . w - .
j pOIM5n are more frequent, and the poison j
j ilselj j8 more virneni and rapid. It was ir. '
t - k m . I
u,and lhal when the COmprai1or first called
the doctor's attention to the mark of death j
on the face ol the doomed beauty, the mis
chief was beyond remedy. At lengtn, all
that skill and care could do was done ; but
this was one of the saddest of the many ca
ses when science stands by, impotent to
save, watching the death bed.
The Bright Scene in Histoht. When
the poor man and the rich were esteemed
equal.
When virtue was honored atl vice re
proved. When modesty was ranked among the
virtues.
When honesty was regarded as an in
gredient to trade.
When common sense was part of a fash
ionable education.
When benevolence was tjOt looked upon
as extravagance.
When worth needed not riches to be re
spected. E7 Confab between a man who wanted
his paper stopped and oar "devil :"
Alan See here, boy, yoa may tell yoar
boss lo stop sending his d -J paper to
me at Grand Gulf.
Devil Where must I send it ?
Man Send it to h-ll
Devil All right yon'll bo certain to get
it at that pout office.
G7" A Western poet witnessed a puglis
tic encounter, which he thus immortalized :
THE LATEST PARUflY.
THE FIHNTER's CONSOLATION.
Tell me ye centle winds,
That round my pathway play,
Is there no place on earth
Where printers get their pay ?
The whispering breeze went by
With accent filled with woe,
A voice borne on the sorrowing air,
In madness answered "No."
Tell me, ye flowing streams,
That smoothly glide along,
Is there no cherished place,
Where printers meet no wrong ?
The gentle brook replied
In murmurs soft and low
And winding on its verdant way,
It meekly answered "No."
Tell me ye murky c?ouds,
Now rising in the west
Is there upon the globe
One poi by printers blest ?
The Hashing clouds outspoke
With an indignant glow
A voice that filled the earth with awe
In thunder answered "No."
Tell me hard -hearted man,
Withholding day by day,
Is there no honor in thy breast,
The printer' bill to pay ?
TJnanswerin turns he round
How plain his actions' show,
An uttered oath capped sound is heard,
His actions answer "No."
Tell me gentle nymph,
Who blessest life's hours through,
Is there no sacred shrine
Where printers get their due?
A mantling blush her cheek diffused,
Did tenfold arace impart
A soft responsive sigh replied,
" 'Tis found in woman's heart."
Tell me. anaelic hosts,
Ye messengers of love.
Shall suffering printers here below
Have no redress above?
The angel bands replied
' To us is knowledge given
Delinquents on the printer's books,
Can never enter Heaven "
A Case Harrdcned One.
Bill Rigden, whose exploits down on Red
River -.ve have mentioned before, had been
drinking some, and contrary to his usual
custom, was blowing considerably, and fin
all said he could run fa-ler, jump higher,
dive deeper, and come out dryer, chew
more tobaker, drink more whiskey, and do
more strange, queer and impossible ihings !
than any man in lhe crowd, winding up by
offering to throw any man, or fight a dozen,
one at a time, then and there. A tall, ca
daverous, fever-aud-ague-looxing chap, got '
up and said : j
"I'm for that last, stranger. I'm some o:i t
a wrestle myself, and I'll try you."
At it they went, and Bill go; thrown badly, j
They then tried jumping, and Bill was eu- j
chred again. There was no water near lo
experiment at diving in. and Bill himself;
proposed that they should try borne whis- .
key. ;
"Wal," said faver and ague, 'I don't
chaw tobaker, but I jist kin drink you dead
drunk in an hour."
'Never !" shouted Bill, and they sat
down, whiliug the lime away in playing
euchre.
Game after game and glass after glass
passed, without ihe least apparent effect
upon the stranger, while Bill showed it
badly, soon not being .ble lo tell the cards
or even to handle them. At this 6tge the
pale face arose, remarking :
"Wal, I guess as how you're drunk en-
nouh, and ef you'll make me one drink
more I'll mount my pony aud be ofT."
"Whai'il you have?'' said the clerk.
"Got any braidy ?"
Yes."
"Wal, a leetle of that.
" rien'y."
"Ateout a spoonful
Any terpentine?'' ;
put in
Any red
pepper
1"
Ye.
' Shake in some and now, my boy, ef
you put in a ieeile of that aquafortis I see
up lhar, I 11 take my drink and be gone."
"My
." groaned Bill,
Cf ct,,w,' I ;
think you wou'd. I give it up.
Don't drink it."
Amid the roars of the crowd the pale
gent mounted his pony and cantered away.
Life os the Ocean Wave. A real jolly,
good old fellow was Dr. S. I was introduc
ced to him jut as the steamer Star was
leaving her dock at New York for Kjrope.
For the first twenty-four hours " Richard
was himself again ;" but that fell destroyer,
who neither spares ace. sen, nor condition
cca-riLfcltcon Cl.cu null, (lull UUiUl" '11 r
. ,, , , ,'i bd bought for a sixpense
several days. We had left the Banks, and
were steaming along beautifully, when.
one morning, I saw the Doctor's head eraer
ting from the lower regions. But what a
face ! long, lugubrious, distressed his
hair not cared for, dress untidy, eyes blood
shot. I could scarcely believe his appari
tion was the jolly old Doctor who had kept
us all in a roar the first day out.
"Well, ray dear Doctor, how do you feel
by this time ?"
' Feel ?" said he, and there was an un
mistakable earnestness in his eye ; feel !
why, 1 feel as though I bad but two objec's
in life, now. One is to put my foot once
more on terra fir ma ; and the other lo find
out anu wnip tne teuow wno wrote -uia on ;
the Ocean W ave ." (
I
FdA man uptown says he has a little
. . f . .'
. v - . ri I
machine in nis nouse wnicn has acquired
perpetual motion. Il is a very simple con-
I Beautiful Answers. -
A pupil of the Abbe Sicord gave lhe fol
j lowing extraordinary answers:
i "Wat is gratitude V .
j "Grattitude is lhe memory of the heart."
"What is hope ?
"Hope is the blosom of happiness.
"What is the difference between hops
i and desire ?
j "Desire is a tree in leaf, hope is a tree in
j flower, and enjoyment is a tree in fruit.
"What is eternity ?
"A day without yesterday or to morrow
a line that has no end.
"What is lime ?
"A line that has two ends a path which
begins in the cradfe and ends in the grave.
"What is God?
"The necessary being, the sun of eterni
ty, the machinist of nature, the eje of jue
tice, the watch maker of the universe, the
soul of the world.
"Does God reason ?
"Man reasons becau-e he doubts ; he de
liberates ha decides. God is omniscient ;
Ha
never doubts. Me therefore never rea
sons. The Errors of the Pkkss " Really,"
said a printer, in conversing with a literary
man about errors of the press, ' gentlemen
should not place euch'uulimited confidence
in the eyesight of our hard worked and
half blinded readers of 'proofs; for, I am
ashamed lo'say'that we nearly ruined one
poet through'a ludicrous misprint.
" Indeed, and what was the unhappy
line?"
"Why, sir, the poet intended to say :
"See the pale martyr in a sheet of fire
Instead of which' we made him say:
"See thejpale martyr with his shirt ori
fire."
The critics were down fierce on the poet;
but we don't see why. A man with his
shirt on fire, mu-t be a highly poetical ob
ject, as his life would be in imioent danger.
A quair.t writer of sentences says
"I have seen women so delicate, that they
were afraid to ride, for fear the horse might
run away ; afraid to sail, for fear tbe boat
might everset ; afraid to walk, for fear the
dew might faM ; but 1 never saw one afraid
lo be married !"
Work or the "Deviu" We have seen
fome awful typogrophical errors in our day,
but seldom any more ludicrous than the
following. The editor, wanting a line ta
fill a column, gave
"Shoot Foliy as she flies " popk.
In the hurry of setting it up, the "Devil"
rendeied it thus :
"Shoot Folly as she flies pop.
The oddest of all gifts to the President
elect came to hand tome time since. It
was neither more nor less than a whistle
made out of a pig's tail. There is no 'sell'
in thi;. Your correspondent has seen the
tangible refutation of lhe lime honored say
ing that "whittle can be made oj of a pig's
tail" with his own eves. The donor of the
' instrument is a prominent Ohio politician.
residing at Columbus, and connected with
xie &Xe Government. Old Abe enjoys the
j0fee hugely.
IsT Always in order To pay the printer.
C7 The best p'easure on earth is, ex
cepting the richness of God,
pretty girl.
" squeezing" a
E" An ugly wart is a difficult thing ti
get off one's hands. An ugly daughter n
still more d tficult.
EF A young lady when told to exercise
or health, said she would jump at an oiler
and run her own risk.
liT Parents Teach your children to
love everything that is beautiful and it will
t teach iheiu to be useful and good. So say
ve.
a Li vs u i v4 i . m m 9-
I'm beat i HT Courting is an irregular, active, tran
j sitive verb, indicative mood, present tense,
third person, singular cumber and agrees
1 with girls don't it ?
Th tKE are one thousand five hundred
carriage makers out of employment in New
Haven Conn. Is "nobody mileriug any-
ttin;
A Dutchman expresses his surprise that
men can consent lo loaf about rum shops as
they do, when a good dose of arseuic cau
Ci A pretty conclusion When we see
a pretty female foot we naturally conclude
J that it belongs 10 a pretty girl, on the prin
ciple, that "AWi Well tknt Ends Well."
V tT There are four things that look very
awkward in a woman . viz : To see her on
dertake lo whistle, to throw a stone at a
bog, to smoke a cigar, and to climb over a
garden lence. ' -w
CP Some men alter reaching the sum
mit of ambition, pull up the ladder by
i which they climbed and -look down wilU
scorn on those who had held it for them.
LV It makes us proud when our love of
a woman is turned ; it ought to make u
prounder sti l when we can love her for
herself alone, without the aid of any selfish
-ri - - .v i - ri
reuectiou. i Ins is the religion of love.
j A single pebble dropped into the