The star of the north. (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, September 26, 1860, Image 2

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U. JACOBY, Proprietor.
Troth and Right God and our Country.
:
CTWo Dollars per Adnam.
VOLUME 12.
BLOOMSBURG, COLUMBIA COUNTY, PA., WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 26, 1860.
NUMBER 38.
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STAR OF THE NORTH
PUBLISHED 1TERT TTEDHESPAT BT
WM. D, JACOBY,
Office on Haiti St.r3rd Square below Market,
TERMS : Two Dollars per annum if paid
within fix months from the time of subscri
bing : two dollars and fifty cents it not paid
Within the year. No subscription taken fur
& less period than six months ; no discon
tinuances permitted until all arrearages are
paid, unless at the option oi the editor.
The terms of advertising will be at follows :
One square, twelve lines, three times, 51 00
Every subsequent insertion, ...... 25
One square, three months, ....... 3 00
One year, 8 00
UDY BIRO.VS REPLY T3 LUSO JBYKO.i'S
FAUBWEll. .
Yes! farewell farewell forever!
Thoa thyself has fixed our doom,
Bade hope's fairest blossoms wither,
Never again tor me to bloom.
Unforgiving thoa hast calied rae
Didst ihoa ever say torgive?
Poor the wretch whose wiles beguiled thee,
Thou alone didst seem to live.
Short the space which time has given.
To complete thy love's decay ;
By unhallowed passions driven,
Soon thy heart was taught to stray;
Lived for me that feeling tender
Which ihy vere so well can 6how,
From my arms why diJst thoa wander!
My endearments why forego!
Oh! too late thy breast was bared,
Oh! too soon to me 'twas shown,
That thy love but once I shared,
And already it ia flown.
Wrapped in dreams of joy abiding,
On thy breast my head hath lain,
In thy love and truth confiding
Bliss I ne'er can know again.
The dark hour did first discover -
In thy soul the hideous stain
Would these eyes had cli-ed forever,
Ne'er to weep thy crimes again.
But the impious wish O, Leaven 1
Ficm the record blotted be ;
Yes, I yet would live, O, Byron,
For the babe I've born tor thee !
Ia whose lovely features (let me '
All my weakness here confess.
Whilst the struggling tears permit me)
Ail the father 1 can trace
He whose irna-je never leaves me,
He whose image stdl I prize,
Who this bitterest feeling gives me,
Still to love where I despise.
With regret and sorrow rather
When our child's first accents flow,
I will teach her to say Father,
But his guilt she ne'er shall know.
Whilst to-mrrow and to-morrow
Wake me from a widow'd bed,
On another's arms no sorrow
Will thou fell, no tear wilt shed.
I the world' approval sonshl not,
When I tore myself from thee ;
Ot its ptaise or blame I thought not
What's i: praise or blame to me ? .
He so prized so loved adored,
From ray hear: his image drove,
On my head conienjpt has poured,
And preferred a wa.:iou's love.
Tbou art proad, but mark me, Byron, -
I've a heart proud as thine own ;
Soft to love, but bard as iron
When contempt is o'er it thrown;
But farewell ! I'll not upbraid thee,
Never, never wish thee ill
Wreched though thy crimes have made me,
If thou canst be happy still.
Tbe Press and Dead Heads.
One of our exchange. speak a great deal
of truth in the following:
Railroads, steamboats and stage-coaches
complain of dead heading that is to say,
of editors and clergymen, riding so much
without pay. The newspaper press endures
more of this dead heading than all three of
these modes ot conveyance combined. The
pulpit, the bar and the theatre; corpora
tions, legislative assembles, societies, reli-
r gious, benevolent, agricultural, mercantile
establishments, venders of quack medicines,
railroad companies, steamboats, stage lines,
and every variety of individuals, including
- political parties and politicians, draw large
ly on the liberality of the press. The press
is expected to yield to all these interests ; it
is required to give strength to all weak in
stitutions and enterprises ; it is asked to
puff small preachers into overshadowing
pulpit orators ; to puff small politicians and
unprincipled demagogues into great men
and patriots ; to magnify incompetent rail-
road officers into railroad kings ; : it is ex
peeled to herald abroad the fame of quacks,
of all cases, bolster up dull authors ; im
mortalize weak Congressional speeches ; it
is required to give sight to the blind, bread
to the hungry, talents to fools and honor to
thieves and robbers ; it is asked to cover op
the infirmities of the weak, to hide the
faults of guilty men and wink at the fraud
dent schemes of sconndrela, it is expected
to flatter tha Tain, to extol the merits of
those who deserve nothing but the scorn
and contempt of all good citizens ; it is re-
' quired, ia a word, of the newspaper press,
to become all things to all men ; and if it
lock for pay, or 6end out its bills for sub
scriptions and advertising, it ii denounced
as mean and sordid and its conductors are
wanting in liberality. There ia no interest
oa the face of this green earth that is ex
pected to give so much to society, without
pay or thanks, as the newspaper, press of
tha country. ;- r .-.-,. , , ..
There is a" certain amount of indelicacy
and want of consideration in crowding ma
teria! and external happiness on those who
have emerged from a sombre condition, to
which we know they are destined certainly
to return. Sometimes the bright spot cheers
the memory, 'bat more ollen destroys con
tent by contrast. - ; '" '
A Toast "The Ladies! They divide
ocr sorrows CzziU cor joys, and treble oar
X -.-
The Bnssian Wolf Hunt,
We transate the following story from a
late number of M. Alex. Duraas'newspaper.
It is an extract from one of his letters from
St. Petersburg:
'Wolf hunting and bear hunting are the
favorite pleasures of the Russians. Wolves
are hunted in this way in the winter, when
the wolves being hungry are ferocious.
Three or lour huntsmen, each armed with a
double barrelled gun, get into a troika, which
is any sort of a carriage drawn by three
horses its name being derived from its
team, and not from its form. The middle
horse trots with his head hanging down,
and he is called the Snow-Eater. The two
others have only one rein, and they are
fastened to the - poles by the middle of the
body, and gallop, their heads free they are
called the Furious. The troika is driven by
a sure coachman, if there is such a thing in
the woild as a sure coachman. A pig is
tied to the rear of the vehicle by a rope, or
a chain (lor greater security) some twelve
yards long. The pig is kept in the vehicle
until tha huntsmen reach the forest where
the hunt is to take place, when he is taken
out and the horses started. The pig, not
being accustomed ta this gait, squeals ; and
his squeals soon degenerate into lamenta
tions. His cries bring out one wolf, who
give the pig chase ; theti two wolves, then
three, then ten, then fifty wolves all post
ing as hard as they can go after the poor
pig, fighting among themselves for the best
places, snapping and striking at the poor
pig at every opportunity, who squeals with
despair. These squeals of agony arouse
all the wolves in the forest, within a circuit
of three miles, and the troik is followed by
an immense flock ot wolves. It is now a
good driver is indispensable. The horses
have an instinctive horror for wolvea, and
go almost crazy; they run as last as they
can go.
The huntsmen fire as fast as they can
load ; there is no necessity to take any aim.
The pig squeals the horses neigh the
wolves howl the guns rattle ; it is a con
cert to make Mephistopheles jealous. As
long as the driver commands his horses,
fast as they may be running away, there is
no danger. Bat, if hit ceases to be master
of them ; if they balk, if the troika is upset,
there i no hope. The next day, or the day
after, or a week afterwards, nothing will re
main of the party but the wreck of the
htroika. the barrels of the guns, and the lar
ger tones of the horses, huntsmen, and
driver.
Last winter Prince repnine went on one
of these hunts, and it came very near being
his last hunt. He was on a visit with two
of his friends to one of his estates near the
steppe, and they determined to go on a
wolt hunt. They prepared a large tleigh in
which three persons could move at ease,
three vigorous horses were put into it, and
tney selected for a driver a man born in the
country, and thoroughly experienced in the
sport. Every huntsmau had a pair of double
barrel guns, and one hundred and fifty ball
cartriges It was night when they reached
the steppe ; that is an immense prairie cov
ered with snow. The moon was full, and
shone brilliantly ; its beams refracted by
the snow gave a light scarcely inferior to
day light.
The pig was put out of the sleigh and the
horses whipped up. As soon as the pig
fell that he was dragged he began to squeal.
A wolf or two appeared; but they were
timed and kept a long way off. Their num
bers gradually increased, and as they gain
ed in strength they became bolder. There
were about twenty wolves when they came
within gun range of the troika. One of the
party fired; a wolf fell. Ihe flock became
alarmed and half fled away. Seven or
eight hungry wolves remained behind to
devour their dead companion. Tbe gaps
were soon filled. On every side howls an
swered howls ; on every side sharp noses
and brilliant eyes were seen peering. The
guns rattled, volley after volley ; but the
flock of wolves increased instead of dimin
ishing, and soon it was not a flock, but a
vast herd of wolves in thick serrid columns,
which gave chase to the sleigh.
The wolves bounded forward so rapidly
they seemed to fly over the now, and so
lightlj not a pound was heard; their num
bers continued to increase and increase, and
increase ; they seemed to be a silent tide
drawing nearer and nearer, and which the
guns of the party, rapidly as they were dis
charged, had no effect on. The wolves
formed a vast crescent, whose horns began
to encompass tbe horses The numbers in
crease! so rapidly they seemed to spring
out of the ground. There was something
weird in their appearance, for where could
three thousand wolves come from in such a
desert of snow ? Tbe party had taken the
pig into tbe sleigh;, his squeal increased
the wolves' boldness. The party continued
to fire, but they had now used above half
their ammunition, and but two hundred
cartriges left, while they were surrounded
by three thousand wolves. The two horns
of the crescent became nearer and nearer,
and threatened to envelope the whole party.
If one of the horses should have given
eat, the fate of the whole party was sealed.
''What do yon think of this, Ivan V said
the Prince Repnine, speaking to the driver.
"1 would ralher be at home, Prince." "Are
you afraid of any evil consequences?"
"The devils have tasted blood, and the
more yoa fire the more wolves you'll have."
"What do yoa think is the best thing to be
done!' 4Mako tha horses go faster.' "Are
J re of the horses?" "Are yoa sui
Are yoa sure of
He quickened the horses, and turned their
heads towards home. The horses flew fas
ter than ever. The driver excited them to
increased speed by a sharp thistle, and
made them describe a curve which inter
sected one of the horns of the crescent.
The wolves opened their ranks and let the
horses pass.
The Prince raised his gun to his shoulder.
"For God's sake, don't Are !" exclaimed
the driver; "we are dead men if you do!"
He obeyed Ivan. The wolves, astonished
by this unexpected act, remained motion
less for a minute. During this minute the
troika was a verest from them. When the
wolves started again after it,' it was too late,
they could not overtake it. 4 A quarter of an
hour afterward they were in sight of home.
Prince Repnine thinks his horses ran at
least six miles in these fifteen minutes. He
rode over the steppe the next day, and
found the bones of more than two hundred
wolves.-
Scenes at Palermo.
The wretched state of the poor sufferers
at Palermo, who have lost their all in the
bombarment by the Neapolitan troops, Is
clearly shown in tbe following extract of a
letter from Palermo ; "This morning I was
determined to witness with my own eyes
the distribution ot bread which is made
daily in Garibaldi's house at 8 o'clock, and
which takes place literally in his antecham
ber. The poor creatures enter at one door
two or three at a time each receiving a
loaf weighing about two ponnds, and then
they go out at another. It was indeed a
heartrendering scene ; for often some one
of the poor sufferers wept bitterly, and,
crying, begged for yet another loaf, for a
son, or father, or husband, or wife, who had
been wounded by the falling in of the bom
barded houses, and who was unable to come
in person to ask for his or her share of the
charity. Yoa saw mothers with two or even
three children in their arms, just a month
old, or a year, or very little more, a prey to
shame as they ask for two or threw loves ;
but a few days ago their little business, or
the industry ot a husband, was sufficient
tor their support, and now five of the bom
bardment has utterly beggard them, and
made miserable victims of these orphans,
these mothers and wives.
"I accosted a well dressed man, who was
wailing thera wilh the others. With a tim
id, bashful expression, he assured me that
be wafc wailing till the crowd cleared away,
in the hope ot obtaining an audience with
Garibaldi. I offered to speak to the senti
nels for that purpose, that he might pass
sooner and more easily ; but, with an air ot
embarrassment, he declined the offer, so
that I could at once perceive he was wait
ing only to receive charity, like the rest.
At that very moment his turn came, and he
received three or four loaves, which he
hastily concealed under his coat. Being
aware that I had observed him, he said to
me, with tears in his eyes, "You see, Sir,
to what I am reduced by the cruelty of the
Bourbons." On questioning him further, he
told me that he had five children, all girls,
the eldest only six years old; that he kept
a draper's shop, which had been burned to
the ground, as well as his house, and that
with the greatest difficulty, he had succeed
ed in saving the lives of bis little ones by
hiding them behind a garden wall, where
they remained for three days, with no other
food than a little fruit.
"All the property that he had in the world
was destroyed, and as ill-luck would have
it, on that day he happened to leave even
his purse, which he usually carried on his
person, in the shop, so that he was left lit
erally without a single farthing, and the two
or three relatives to whom he could have
applied for aid was absent from Palermo.
I asked him to let me accompany him on
his return to the hovel where, I understood
him to say, bis children had now found
shelter. They were five sweet-looking lit
tle girls, and it was indeed a touching sight
when their father gave them the bread, for
which they had been anxiously waiting
Unobserved by him, I slipped a trifle into
the hands of the eldest girl, and, greatly
moved by the spectacle, I walked away,
following up a train of reflection which
many others 1 suspect, will, share on the
blessings of a Bocrbon dynasty and the
benefits of a despotic rule. Every morning
Garibaldi distributes in this way about 3 000
loaves. The like is done by a Capuchin
Convent, which gives also a small cup of
soup
Scckc os run Ohio. Our boat stopped
to take in wood. On the shore among the
crowd, stood a remarkbly stupid looking
fellow, with his hands in his pockets, and
his under lip hanging down. A dandy,
ripe tor a scrape, lipped nods and winks
all about saying : "Now I'll have some fun,
I'll frighten that green horn." He ojumped
ashora a drawn bowie knife, brandishing it
in the face of the "green 'an" exclaiming :
"Now I'll punish yoa. I have been look
ing for yoa a week." The WIow suddenly
started at bis assilant. He evidently had
not sense enough to be scared but as the
bowie knife, came near his face, once of
his hugh fists suddenly vacated his pocket,
and tell solid and heavy between the dan
dy 's eyes, and the poor fellow was flounder
ing in the river. Greeny jumped on board
our boat, put his hands in his pockets, and
looked around. "May be," said he, 'there's
somebody else that's been looking for me a
week." " -
.Taa Germans wonld have mads Ad a mo
Another Great Fislie Event. v
Heenan and Morrissey, it is announced,
are to have a ring fight in abouttwo months,
ihe tenth of November being the day des
ignated, for which both men are in training.
The New York Sunday Mercury says :
In conversation at Saratoga, one day last
week, Morrissey was asked :
"Shall you fight Heenan again ?"
He at once replied .
"I certainly shall, and I shall lick him
too " .
He went on to say that he wanted he
challenge to come from Heenan, - as Hee
nan, having been defeated by. Morrissey,
ought, of conrse. to issue the defiance. He
siad he should at once, accept the chal
lenge, and, added he, "It you've got any
money to bet on the event, put it on me,
and 1 "II win it for you. He continued : "1
am confident that I can lick this man Say
era would have licked him eas) if he had
fought him as I shall fight him.! He can't
stand body punishment, and I shall give
him my head to hammer away at, while 1
make my fighting at his body. I can out
slay him, and I'll win the fight be sure of
that. His hands will go in a lit le while,
and then I can take him as I want to."
Morrissey ia full of confidence, and wants
only, as he says, once mors to face his old
antagonist on the turf, to teach him that he
is still his master. Morrissey has many
friends, who are equally confident with
himself, and who, with him, will stake ev
ery dollar they can raise oa the issue ot the
fight. Experienced fightirg men also de
clare their belief that Mmissey will win
the fight, and they found their assertion on
the same theory that ia propounded by
Morrissey, that Morrissey can stay longer
than Heenan, and take all the punishment
his adversary can inflict, and can then go
in and lick him.
On the other hand, the fiiends of Heenan
have the most implicit confidence in their
champion, and.will risk on him every dol
lar they can muster. Heenan himself is in
admirable coidition ; he has entirely recov
ered from the disease that disabled him at
Long Point, and is leading a 6ober and tem
perate life. He does not touch a drop of
liquor, no matter how pressing may be the
invitation of his friends. The constant ex
ercise he has with Ottignon, Aaron Jones
Ed Price all isparrers of the very first
class keeps him up to the topmost mark
of pugilis ic science. He learns something
every day, tor who could fail to impaove
under the instruction of constant experience
with the most eminent professors of a giv
en sicence that the day affords? He tho'
always a marvel of agility and quickness,
becomes more and more quick and agile
every day ; his wind is improved by hts
constant exercise ; and when he sleps into
the ring to fight Morrissey, he will prove
by far the most lormidable antagonist that
veteran pugilist has ever yet put up hands
j Defore In a conversation with a Iriend, a
few days 6illCe, Heeuan said : "The next
I fihl wtm't be a short fight. The next man
that fights me has to fight me three hours."
It would seem from this that he has gain
ed unbounded confidence in his own pow
ers of endurance, or what is terineJ hi
staying abilities. In his lormer fij;ht witu
Morrissey, his only hope was to knock Ins
adversary out of time in three rounds, tor
he expressiy stated to his backers that
it
he could not eflect that consummation, lie
could not win. He knew that alter ihe tirst
keen struggle was over, his lack of condi
tion would tell learfully against him, as it
proved. Accordingly, he expended all his
energies on the first two or three rounds,
hoping to so far stun Morrissey by that ire
mendous cannonade of blows he adminis
tered lo bis head, that he would not be
able after that time to lace the scratch
Probably no skull in the world other than
Morrissey;s, could have received that tre
mendous pounding, and have recovered
from it to answer to the call of "Time.'
But Morrissey did recover, did answer to
call, and Heenan failed, as he bad predict
ed, and the result is known. Heenan after
ward challenged Morrissey, but the defi
ance was not taken up, for reason herein
before stated. From ibat eventful day to
this, Heenan has been anxious to again
confront his conqueror, and try once again
the chances of battle with him. The time
has nearly come. Heenan is aware that
Morrissey stands ready to accept his chal
lenge, and soon as his present engagement
is concluded, he will issue the defiant doc
umsnt. Like Morrissey, Heenan expresses the
most undounded confidence in himself. In
deed, Le looks upon the battle as already
decided, although he knows too well the
temper of his valliant foe to hold him undu
ly cheap. Confident as Heenan is, he will
throw away no chance to secure the vic
tory. He will train with the utmost care,
omitting no precaution to bring himself in
to the field in the best condition possible
He will do all his work most scrupulously,
and abide in all things by the commands
of his trainer, who will be Jame Cusick, as
of old.
It is ruinous to tbe young to demand of
them more than ypu are quite sure that they
can accomplish with moderate industry ; it
not only tends to make their minds super
ficial, but, what is still less thought of iheir
characters slippery, slip shod, and slip-slop.
Escocragisg to thk Gihls -Naomt.Enoch's
daughter, was five hundred and eighty years
fjo H . j v a. " ro-"L,
THE RIVER PATH.
a.
BT JOUN O WHITTIKR. 1
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No bird song, floated down the hill,
The tangled Bank below was still ;
No rustle from the birchen stem ;
No ripple (rom the waters hem.
Tlie dusk of twilight roand us grew,
We felt ihe falling of the dew. j
For, from u, ere the diy was done,
The wooded hills shot out the sun,
But on the river's farther side
We saw the hill-tops glorified.
A tender glow, exceeding fair,
A dream of day withou: its glare.
With us the damp, the chill, ihe gloom;
With ikem the sunset's rosy bloom;
While dark, through willowy vistas seen,
The river rolled in shades between.
From out the darkness where we trod,
We gazed upon those hills ot God.
Whose light seemed not of moon or sun,
We spake not, but our thought was one.
We paused, as if from that bright shore
Beckoned our dear ones gone before;
And hi i. led our breathing hearts to hear
Tlie voices lost to mortal ear !
Sudden our pathway turned from night; .
The nilU swung open to the light,
Thro' their green gales the sunshine sho'd,
A long slant splendor downward flowed.
Down glade and glen and bank it rolled;
It bridged tbe shaded stream wilh gold;
And borne on piers of mist, allied
The shadowy with the sunlit side
"So," prayed we, "when our feet draw
The river, dark with mortal fear, Tnear
And the nighi cometh chill with dew,
Oh, Father ! lei thy light break through !
So let the hills of doubt divide,
So bridge wilh laiih tbe sunless tide !
So let the eyes that fall on earth
On thv eternal hills look forth;
And in thy beckoning angels know
The dear ones whom we loved below!"
Romance at Cape May.
A New York paper relates the following
incident, in connection with the trip of the
Great Eastern :
A certain well known artist, who has
been connected with one of the illustrated
papers, and who-e talents have gained him
some celebrity, was among the excursionists
who first landed ai Cape May. Quite a
number of those who went ashore indulged
in a plunge amid the breakers, among
them our artist, who, unloriunately, is not
an expert swimmer, and having ventured
out too far, became exhausted.
He was in ihe most imminent danger of
being drowned, and eery one seemed in
capable of rendering him assistance, when
a lady whose tcarlet bathing dress, and dar
ing behavior in the water had attracted
much attention, darted out through the
mighty waves, seized the drowning man
by the collar of his flannel shirt, aud con
veyed htm sale'y to the shore, amid the
deafening cheers of those who looked 011
admiring the spirit that prompted the hu
mane teat.
This brave and noble girl is a member of
an excellent tamily. belonging to what is
called the ' test society" in New York
fche fir.-t learned lo swim perfectly al her
futar's coudtry's seat on the Hudson river,
aid many old watering places habitues
well remember tier extraordinary fkill and
r-eif po.ksesfion in the sport ot surf bathing,
t he acquaintance beiweeu her and ihe ar
UM, lima romantically begun, prospered fa
vorably on the pa?ae home, and already
the gosf ips say mat the parents of the hero
ine have been succes.tlully consulted on an
interes'.M'g subject, concerning the future
condition ol the lady that will result in a
tpeedy union ol talent and beauty, in the
way ot marriage ol u mode, at Cape May.
1 HKtt Mk.v Suffocated in a Well.
In Aiiegtien c;ty oa Friday, as we iearn
from u.e l'iui.urg Coroiticle, three men
named vViliiam Buttles, James Vance and
Allrt-ii in.., e i.ad sunk a well in the rear
ot Hfn.i.i.i llewdal-s beer hall, corner of
Federal ttreet and Central alley, ihe object
ol which was the draining of a privy vault
in ihe viecini.y. The well having reached
a suificieut depth, Alfred Bottles descended
the ladJer and proceeded lo tap ihe vault.
A lew moments sufficed to open a commu
nicalion between the vault, and this effect
ed a quantity of foul air rushed into the for-1
mer, evepowering Bottles, and causing
him to tail helpless to ihe bottom ol the I
1
well. Vance, who taw him fall, hurried to
his aid, but had not descended more than
four or five feet when he too was overcome
aud fell a senseless mass on the body of
his colaborer below. William Bottles now
attempted to descend, and was overpower
ed and dropped off the ladder to the bottom
in the same way. A Mr. Ja mes Taggart at
tempted lo rescue them but failed. Alfred
Bottles and James Yance were dead when
taken out. Taggart was yet living, but he
survived only a few minutes, and was ta
ken to his home a corpse. William Bottles
was also alive, and was taken to his home
on Kilbuck street, wither a large crowd fol
lowed him. He was thrown into convul
sions during the evening, and was so low
that his recovery was deemed highly im
probable. He survived throughout the
night, however, and may now be consider
ed out of danger. -
"VVht doctor," said a sick lady, "you
give me the same medicine as you are giv
ing my husband how's that ?" 'AH right.'
From the Sublime to the Ridicnlons.
I believe the only time I laughed, except j
at the jokes of a greater man than myself, I
during the perjod I remained an object of
envy to millions, said James Madison, was
on an occasion I shall never forget. 1 was
called out of my bed early one cold winter
morning by a person coming on business
of the utmost consequence, and dressed my
self in great haste, supposing it might be a
summons to a Cabinet Council. When I
came into my private office I found a long
filled man at least six feel hih, with a lit
tle apple head, a queue, and a face criti
cally round, as rosy as a ripe cherry. He
handed me a letter from his excellency, the
Honorable o my patronage. I was a lit
tie inclined to be rude, but checked myself,
remembering that I was the servant of such
men as my visitor, and that I mighf get the
reputation of an aristocrat, if I made any
distinction between man and man.
"WVI1, my friead, what situation do you
wish ?'
''Why-y-y, I'm not very particular ; but i
somehow or other I think I should like to
be a minister. 1 don't mean of the gospel,
but on of those ministers to foreign potts."
"I'm very sorry, very sorry indeed ; there
is n vacancy just now. Would not some
thing ele suit you ?"
"Why y y," answered the apple-headed
man, ' I wouldn't much care if I took a situ
ation in one of the departments. 1 wouldn't
much mind beirg a controller, or an audi
tor, or some such thing "
-My dear sir, I'm sorry, very sorry, in
deed, but it happens, unfortnnalley, that all
these situations are at present filled. Would
not you take something else?"
My friend stroked his chin, and seemed
struggling to keep down the soarings of his
high ambition to the present crisis. At last
he answered :
"Why-y-y, y-e s; I don't care if I get a
good collectorship, or inspectorship, or sur
veyorship, or navy agency."
"Really, my good M.. Phippenny," said
I, "I regret exceedingly that not only all
these pHces, but every other place of con
sequence in the government is at present
occupied. Tray think of something else ?"
He then after some hesitation, asked for
a clerkship, ana finally the place of messen
ger to one of the public officers. Finding
no vacancy here, he seemed in vast per
plexity, and looking all around the room,
fixing his eyes at length on me, and meas
uring my height from head to foot. Then
putting on cne of the drollest faces that
ever adorned the face of man, he said :
Mister, you and I seem to be built
much alike haven't you someold clothe
yon can spare ?''
Oh, what a falling off was there! from a
foreign mission to a suit of old clothes,
which the reader may be astured 1 gave
with infinite pleasure for the only honest
laugh 1 enjoyed for years afterward.
The Man who Won't Pay the Printer.
May he be shod with lightning, and com
pelled to wander over gunpowder.
May he have sore eyes, and a chestnut
burr for an eye -stone.
May every day of his life be more despo
tic than the Dey of Algiers.
May he never be permitted to kiss a pret
ty woman.
May he be bored to death by boarding
school misses practicing their first lessons
in music, without the privilege of seeing
his tormentors.
May his sheets be sprinkled with cows
age, aud bed bugs and fleas be the sharer?
of his couch.
May 2:40 night mares trot quarter races
over hi stomach every night.
May his boots leak, his gun hang fire, and
his fishing lines break.
May his coffee be sweetened with flies,
and his soup seasoned wilh spiders.
May his friends run off with his wife,
and his children take the hooping cough.
May his cattle die of murrain, and the
pigs destroy his garden. !
May a troop of printer's devils, lean, lank
and hungry, dog his heels each day, and a
regiment of cats callawaul under bis win
dow each night.
May tbe famine stricken ghost of an edi
tor's body haunt his flumbers, and hiss
"Jur2e" in bis dreaming eye.
May his cow give sour milk, atd his
churn rancid bulter.
In short, may his business go to ruin, and
he go to the Legislature.
Attempt to Blow Up a Man-of-War.
During the celebration of the Emperor's
fete in Vienna, an attempt was made to
blow up a mom moth man-of-war named
the Kaiser. An account says : The atten
tion of the sentinel on guard over the pow
der magazine of the Kaiser having been
attracted by a faint, grating noise, seeming
to issue from the wood work, be gave the
alarm. A search was made and crouching
upon his hands and knees was discovered
an individual, who, having succeeded in
boring an anger hole into tbe powder mag
azine, was already inserting the wire to
which was fixed the match which he bad
destined to blow up the vessel with every
soul on board, the whole of tha 6hip lying
in the neighborhood, the Archdnke and all
his company, including, besides, the greater
part of the town iuelf. The culprit be
longed to the Kaiser, and turns out to be
the officer called in the Austrian service,
Second Captain, which answers to First
Lieutenant in our own. He was of course,
immediately seized, but before he could be
Joe's Opinion of Love.
Love observed Joe, scarcastically, 'love's'
a himposition. There's been more peopld
him posed upon by that air vord than by all
the professional swindel in natur. It's a
gros, a universal himposition j and' il'a
on'y werry wonderful to me that ain't long
ago been hexpunged. A gal says she loves
yer. Werry well ; but are yoa consequent
ially obligated to make a fool o' yourself
No ? you've on'y got 'er hipisydixy, and
vet s the good o' that ? Marry 'er, and you'll
werry soon see how sweet's the love aa
meets return.' But arout that, look 'ere
ol'y just for an instance, a gat loves a sol
gervich they all do ; it's reglar ; he's a
private j still Kbe loves 'im oh ! hout and .
hout! Werry well ! don't yer. think riiM
giv 'iTi op for an hofficer ! Vy cos it 'ad
be a better chance. Has for love, vicked
nest, the swindelinest, himposition as is.
The chance is rot gals look out for. Tho
on'y question vith them is it a good chance"?
If it is they'll have it; if it ain't, they won't
unless taen'l got noothing belter. It's tbd
deadest take ia,is love, ever heard oa ; a
deader vas never hiavented. Yoa take my
adwice. and don't be foozled. Yenoveryer
'ear the vord love, always wiew it as a gro
himposition. H if yer don't you'll be done,
and on'y find out the difference Ten il't tod
late. Look at rne ; jist for hinstance. I
was sixty-two in Jennewerry last ; look at
that ! Sixty-two, and I ain't done yet. I'm
inwited to all the parties ; I'm never forgot.
There's the old uns as is married, a settia'
their darters upon me ; it 'ud be sich a
etiance ! and all, in course cos I'm single.
Kepnhliean Appeals to Irishmen.
In a speech, a few nights since, from that
sleps at Berlin's Hotei, to a "Republican
meeting in this place, Edgar Cowan Esq.
made a strong and earnest appeal to Irish'
men to cast iheir rotes with the Republi
cans. '
"Irishmen," said he, "who vote with the
Democracy are false to their own Green
Isle of the Ocean false to the literature of
Erin false to its poetry, and false to that
love of liberty which beats ia the breast of
Irishman everywhere."
We call the attention of Irishmen to tha
argent and burning language ia which they
have been besought to turn their backs up
on the party which not long ago stood be
tween them and proscription, and then,
w e add, as a fit and proper commentary
thereon, the fact that, on last Saturday night
the Republ ican Torch-Light procession,
which paraded the streets of Greensburg,
and was addressed by the same gentleman,
whose remarks we have quoted above,kept
s ep to the music of the "Boyne Water."
Irishmen should remember that even as
they were appealed to to desert their party,
they were met with an open, shameless in
suit, and that the faith of their fathers has
been derided by a party that profess tho
most enlarged liberality. They would ba
"false to their own Green Isle of the Ocean
fase to ihe literature of Erin false to its
poeiry, and false to that love of liberty
which beats in the breasts of Irishmen ev
ery where," if they failed to feel the keen
and cutting taunts, which has thus been
thrust into their very faces. Greensburg
Democrat.
Coal Oil Makufactcrc The extent to
which the manufacture of oil from coal is
carried on, will surprise many of our read
ers. The number of coal oil companies
atid firms in this country is said to be fifty
seven ; the works being principally situated
in this city and Boston, the valleys of tho
Ohio and its tributaries. Besides these thero
are a number of small coal oil works in
Philadelphia, Baltimore, and some of tho
Western cities, owned by individuals. Tho
quantity of coal oil produced is estimated -at
30,000 gallons per day, or nine millions
per annum, worth about 70 cents a gallon,
or over b'ix millions of dollars in the aggre
gate. Ihe capital expended in coal oil
works and cannel coal mining is estimated
at lour mil ions, about one-fifth of which
has been invested in the Kanawha valley
alone. This is independent of the petroleum
or oil wells which continue to shed their
liquid treasures in abundance. Fears had
long been entertained that the whale species
would become extinct, and ihas tbe world
be obliged to progress the best way it could
without lubrication ; but the oil wells and
the oil manufactures promise a supplj ad.
equate to all our wants. Already the per
sons employed in this new department of
industry may be numbered by thousands.
Pittsburgh, paper.
A Signal Instance of Lincoln's Hone
tt. The New York Courier and Enquirer
startles its Republican readers by ciliung a
signal instance of Mr. Lincoln's honesty.
In a word or two, it seems tha: Mr. Lincoln
who was a Postmaster in a little town in
Illinois, while Mr Barry was Postmaster
General, resigned his small office, retaining
in his hands about two huudred dollars of
Government funds. Owing this money ho
ought to have promptly paid it op when ho
resigned, but he kept it.
When Mr. Kendall became Postmaster
General, he "drew on Mr. Lincoln for tho
amount standing against him on the books
of the department." Wonderful to tell, Mr.
Lincoln honored the draft and paid the
money. He paid two hundred dollars
which he ought to have paid before, and
the argument is that for paying this money
he ought to be made President !
It would seem that tha Courier and Erqui
rer expected nothing less than he should
have stolen it. Its surprise at finding that
he did not, is a significant indication of its
want oi confidence in the men with whom
it is associated. Had he stolen it, in tho
eyes of the Courier and Enquirer, it would
have been tha most natural thing in thw