THE STAR OP THE NORTH. " W. H. JACOB*, Proprietor.] VOLUME 11. STAB OF THE NORTH. ruibisitst) BVMIY WEDNESDAY BY WM. 11. JACOBY, flffitt t)tt Main St., Ird Square below Market, TORMS: —Two Dollars per annum if paid I within six months from the time of subscrib ing: two dollars and filty cts. if not paid with in the year. No subscription taken for a loss kieriod than six months; no discontinuance permitted until all arrearages are paid, un less at the option of the editor. The terms if advertising will be as follows : yne square, twelve lines, three times, SI 00 Every subsequent insertion, ...... 25 jOne square, three months, 3 00 'One year, . 8 00 €i?oite yoelrrt. ME OLD FAKI DOUSE. In a little grove of shade trees Stands a farm house, btown and old, With a wealth of vines around it, Gemm'd with flowers of red and gold, By the path Ivhich makes a circle Of while sand around the lawn, Grow sweet timothy and clover, Rosy as a June day dawn. Round its door pale morning glories, Jump up-Johnnies, dahlias, pinks, Cluster—concentrated beauties, Married by a thousand links ; (.inks of love, the work of nature's Mystery as handicraft ; (.inks ol glory, through which fairy Argosies ol perfume waft. And the gate that swings before it, And the fences as white as snow, Stand on variegated cushions, Which tlie sun fire sets aglow, Crowning them with many colors— Yellow, purple, green, and blue— As if rainbow there had (alien, Melted into rarest dew. , On its roof the greenest mosses Catch the shadows from the trees ; On its sides red honey-suckls Make their curtesies to the breeze; And the ever-nervous willow, Standing near the garden's bound, Throw a web'of shade fantastic Oil the clover-mantled ground. O'er the well and arch of grape vines, Formed with heaven directed care, Chains the shadows to the water, Making cool the summer air ; And a tiny church, its steeple Piercing through a bower of leaves, Is a sure and sacred refuge Where the wren her carol weaves. DIVORCED BY MISTAKE. One winter there catne to Trenton, New Jersey, two men, named Smith and Jones, who had both of them designee on the Leg islature. Jones had a bad wile and was in love with a pretty woman—he wished to be divorced from his bad wife, so that he might marry the pretty woman, who by the way, was a widow, with black eyes, and such a form ? Therefore Jones catne to Trenton lor a divorce. Smith had a good wife, good as an angel, and the mother of ten children, and Smith did not want to be divorced, but wanted to get a charter for a turnpike or plankroad to extend from Pig's Run to Terrapin Hollow. "Well, they, with these different errands, came to Trenton, and addressed the assem bled wisdom with the usual arguments First, suppers mainly composed of oysters with rich background of venison ; second liquors in great plenty, from "Jersey light ning," which is a kind ol locomotive at full speed, reduced to liquor shape, to Newark champagne. To speak in plain prose, the divorce man gave a champagne supper, and Smith, the turnpike man, followed with a champagne breakfast, under the molifyir.g influence of which the assmbled wisdom passed both the divorce and turnpike bills ; and Jones and Smith—a copy of each bill in their pockets—went home rejoicing, over many miles of sand, and through the tribulation -of many stage coaches. Smith arrived home in the evening, and he sat down in his parlor, his pretty wife beside him—how pretty she did look I —and five of her children overhearing the other five studying their lessons in the corner of the room, Smith was induced to expatiate ' upon the good results of his mission to Trenton. "A turnpike, my dear; I am one of the directors and will be President. It will set •oe up, love ; we can send our children to • (he boarding school, and live in style out of (he toll. Here is the charter, honey." "Let me see it," said the pretty little wife, who was one of the nicest of wives, ■with plumpness and goodness dimpling all La over her face. "Let me see it," as she * leaned over Mr Smith's shoulder. But all at once Smith's vissage grew long; Smith's wife's vissage grew black. Smith - ' was not profane, but uow he ripped oot an awful oath. t "Blast us, wife, those infernal scoundrels at Trenton have gone and divorced us!" ft WW too true ; the parchment which he (held Mas a -bill of divore, in which the narneMt Smith and Smith's wife appeared in frightfully legible letters. Mrs. jfenith wiped her eyes with the cor ner of hcraproo. "Here's a turnpike," said she sadly, "and with ths wliutu of our ten children staring ne in the fee, I ain't your wife! Here' a (urnpike." 6jg "Blast the iHt(igd the Legislature and—" Well the factis that Smith, reduced to aingle blessedness, enacted into a stranger (o his own wile, swore aWftly. Although (he night was dark, and the deni zens of Smith's town had gondPbed,Smith bid bis late wife to put on heMbonnet, and arm and arm they proceeded to the clergy man of their church. "Goodness bless me!" exclailiMLthe BLOOMSBURG, COLUMBIA COUNTY, PA., WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 12, 1859. good man, as he saw them enter. Smith looking like the last of June shad, Smith's wife wiping ber eyes with the corner of her apron—"Goodness bless me, what's the matter?" "The matter is, I want you to marry us two right off," replied Smith. "Marry you !" ejaculated the clergyman with expanded fingers and awlul eyes; "are you drunk, or what is the matter with you ?" However, he filially married them over straightway and would not take a fee ; tke fact is, grave as he was, he was dying to be alone that he might give vent to a suppres sed laugh that was shaking him all over ; and Smith and Smith's wife went joyfully home and kissed every one of their chil dren. The little Smiths never knew that their father and mother had ever been made strangers to each other by legislative enactment. Meanwhile, and on the same night, Jones returned to his native town—Burlington, 1 believe—and sought at once the fine black eyes which he had hoped shortly :o call his own. The pretty widow sat on the sofa, a white kerchief lied carelessly around her whith throat, her black hair laid in silky waves against each rosy cheek. "Divorce is the word," cried Jones, play fully patting her double chin ; "the fact is, Eliza, I am rid of that cur>-ed woman, and you and I'll be married to-night. 1 knew how to manage those scoundrels at Trenton. A champagne supper—or was it a break fast did the business for them. "Put on your bonnet and let us go to the preacher's at once, dearest." The widow, who was among widows as peaches among apples, put on her bonnet and took Jone's arm, and— "Just look how handsome it is put on parchment!" cried Jones, pulling out the document before her; "here's the law thai says that Jacob Jones and Ann Caroline Jones are two." Putting her plump gloved hand on his shoulder, she did look. "O dear !" she said, with her rosy lips, and sank back, hall-fainting on the sofa. ! "0 blazes !" cried Jones, and sank beside j her rnstling the fatal parchment in his hand; i "here's a lot of happiness and champagne ! gone to ruin." It was a hard case. Instead of being di- j vorced and at liberty to marry the widow, Jacob Jones was simply incorporated into a turnpike company, and what made it worse, authorized to run from Burlington to Bris tol ! When you reflect that Burlington and Bristol are located just a little apart, on op posite sides of the Delaware river, you will observe the extreme hopelessness of Jones' case. "It's all the fault of that turnpike man who gave them champagne supper—or was it the breakfast?" cried Jones in agony. "If they had chartered me a turnpike from Pig's Run to Terrapin Hollow, 1 might have borne it; but the very idea of building a turnpike from Burlington to Bristol bears an absurdity oo the face ol it. So it did. "And ain't you divorced ?" said Eliza, a tear running down each cheek. "No!' thundered Jones, crushing his hat between his knees, and what's worse the Legislature is adjourned, and gone home drunk and won't be back to Trenton till next year. It was a hard case. The mistake (?) had occurred on the last day of the session, when legislators and transcribing clerks were laboring under a champagne breakfast. Smith's name had been put where Jones' ought to have been, and "wisey wersey," as the Latid poet has it. 17" A COOL OPERATION. —' Halloo, there, captaing !" said a "brother Jonathan" to a captain of a canal packet on the Erie Canal, "what do you charge for passage ?" "Three cents per mile, and boarded," said the captain. "Wal, I guess I'll take passage, capting, seeing as how 1 am kinder gin eout walk ing so far." Accordingly he got on board just as the Stewart was ringing the bell for dinner.— Jonathan sat down and began to demolish the "fixins," to the utter consternation ol the captain, until he had cleared the table of all that was eatable, when he got up and went on deck, picking his teeth very com fortably. "How far is it, capting, from here to where I came aboard I" "Nearly one and a half miles," said the captain. "Let's see," said Jonathan, "that would be just four and a half cents; but never mind, capting, I wont be small; here's five cents, which pays my fare to here ; I guess I'll go ashore now ; I'm kinder rested out." SHREWD —An insurance agent in one of the cities tell the following in illustration of the verdancy of a gentleman in Pike coun ty, Indiana, with whom he had effected a policy of insurance:—"ln the list of printed questions in the company's blanks there is one like this: 'Ashes—how kept?' The Pike county gentleman was burned out, and after tbe fire discovered this question in his policy, and, resolving to make a sure thing of his premium, wrote our informant some thing in this wise : 'Dear Sir:—l was burn ed out on the day of —, and, according to your laws, 1 have kept the ashes. They are in barrels; what shall Ido with them ?" I 17 Pride and Poverty go hand in hand. The Washington Monument. A correspondent sends the N. Y. Post the following plan for a monument to Washing ton : First, a square base of white marble, four feet high above the general surface; the side of the square would be about fifty feet. This wnite marble square base would indi cate the purity and rectitude of the motives which prompted the thirteen original states to assert their independence. Next above a course having mouldings all around. On this course would be raised a column of thirteen sides, to represent the thirteen ori ginal states; each side would be about twelve feet broad, and about twonly-four feet high; iu the centre of each side would be placed a slad of the purest white marble, about six feet square, upon which would be sculptured in alio relievo the arms of the thir teen states. Near the corners of each face be niches, in which would be placed statues of the representatives of the representative stales who signed the Declaration of Inde pendence. The sides would face, as nearly as possible, the direction of the geographi cat situation of the states. Next above would be raised a column of twenty sides, to represent the twenty new slates that have already sprang from the original thirteen. In each face would be placed, as before, a white marble slab, on which would be sculptured, in alio relievo, the arms of the new states. These sides would, of course, be proportionably narrower than the lower, but would be about thirty feet high, and would have niches for the reception of stat ues of other great men who have rendered signal service to ihe country. On the top would be placed one solid block of marble, of a hemispherical form, upon which would be placed a colossal statue of Washington, just so large that when seen from the sur face of the ground, near the base of the column, the statue would appear of life size. Over the statue of Washington would be erected a beautiful temple, with open doors on each side, so as not to interfere much with the view of the statue from the ground, and above the temple would be raised a richly ornamented spire, about fifty feet high, surmounted by the American eagle, with his eyes directed towards heav en, to indicate the noble and lofty aspira tions of this great country. Inside the col umn there would be a winning staircase leading to a slighting projecting gallery near the bottom ot the hemisphere. The heighlh of the monument to the top of the statue would be about eighty feet, and to the sum mit of the spire about oue hundred and forty feet. A good many monuments commemora tive of great men and great events have been suggested, but none possessing the same features as this. For in this design there is ample room for the display ot the highest artistic genius of a Flaxman, a Thor waldscn or a Powers in embodying in rude inanimate matter great national ideas. We have, in the first place, the thirteen original states bound together in national compact and utility, filly represented by the lower part of the column ; above these the twenty new states properly represented, having been raised and founded by the thirteen original states—the whole together faithful ly embodying the national motto— E phtribus uttum; and above these, raised as it were by unanimous voice ot the thirty-three slates which now compose the nation, we hare the statue of the renouned Washington stan ding erect on the new hemisphere, the lib erty of which he in good part achieved ; and the eagle looking towards heaven from the summit of the lofty spire figuratively indicating the high and holy ambition of this great Republic. Besides all this, the memory of the good men who contributed so much to Washington's success, and to our national independence and greatness, is not forgotten; they are allotted appropriate places. If this design be found worthy of adop tion by the nation, the subscriber will most gladly give his time and aitention to the elaboration of the details without fee or reward. TW "I 'LL BUT IT FOR YOU. —In the in terior of South Carolina there lived, some years ago, an old man very rich and not very well "posted up." His only son was educated at the South Carolina College, and after graduating was sent to Europo by his indulgent parent. On his return his father asked him what he saw in Europe. The son replied that he had seen a great many rare and beautiful things and many fine cities. "Did you see any place you liked better lhan home ?" asked the old man. "Oh, yes," was the reply j "I saw Lon don and Paris—both very fine cities." "Which did you like best ?" queried the father. "Paris," replied the eon. "You liked Paris a great deal, did you ? " continued the old man. "Oh, yes, very much." "Then I'll buy it for you ! triumphantly replied the old gentleman. 17* The following toast was given at the late anniversary of the New Englanl Socie ty, of Mianeappolis, Minn.: THS LIVE YANKEE. —He'sdrivin' hiskeows to paster all over the Continent; keepin' school in Australia, peddlin' Cherry Pectoral in China, playin' "Yankee Doodle," in Ja pan, openin' a land office in Artzonia, kiss in' Queens everywhere, and makin' himself at home generally, without invitation. Truth and Right God and-oar. Country. Sporting Under Difficulties. The Hon. Grantley F. Berkley, a scion of one of England's noblest families, lately came over to this country to do a little hun ting in the West, and brought with him a a select pack of dogs, as a lineage as an cient and respectable as that of their mas ter. These aristocratic animals have met with the most brutal treatment from those proverbially grum gentleman who figure as baggage agents on the northern roads, and Mr. Berkley pours out his griefs—scarcely inferior to those of VVerler—in the follow ing letter to a Iriend in New York: ST. LOUIS, September 15, 1859. My Pear Sir: 1 hay tftlli —' fire my famous old English blood hound Druid, so celebrated in the new forest in Hamp shire, in which he has run down upward of three huudred of the royal deer ; my red setter dog Chance; my two retrievers, Bru tus and Alice; and a splendid lurcher, given to me by the Marquis of Breadalbane purposely to try on the prairies. This dog, to look at, is a complete grayhound, but from his being iwice removed from a cross with old Foxhound, though silent, he will run by nose until he brings a wounded an imal to bay, whet, he will fling his tongue, and keep bay until the hunters come up. I regret to say I have met, with but one exception, with the most extortionate im position from the baggage masters through out the distance I have traveled. The com panies assign no place for the transit of dogs, and their cost at the option of the baggage masters. This is Cfl("<WWg, and if not amended, will deter me and all Eng land from ever bringing our dogs with us, a fact which will keep us away. My visit was an experiment, which I intended should have induced a fraternization between the sportsmen and dogs of the two countries ; but the railway misery of our valuable dogs will, if not amended, defeat my object Bo highly and desirable was myproject thought of in the mother country, that Sir J Cunard built me kennels on the deck of the Africa, and refused to permit any charge to be made for their transit. In America, the baggage masters were permitted to force their own terms, and to refuse my dogs any transit unless 1 came into their exhorbilant terms which, between two ol the stations, in a day's travel, amounted to ten dollars. I would not have minded any cost, provided gold could buy sale and ters' lor animals who had and my home for years with me, but it is too bad to make me thus pay, and then risk the breaking of my dogs legs among heavy trunks and baggage ! Very truly yours, GRANTLKY F. BERKELV, The Spirit of the Times, insinuates that if Mr. Berkely had, in imitation of the Mar quis of Waterford, Lord Stanley, and other English gentlemen, democratised himself a little, and condescended to make some ac quaintance in New York, he would have been put on the right track, and saved much annoyance. Seeking Information. "Can you direct me to the ——Hotel?" inquired a gentleman, with a carpet bag in hand, of a burly Htberian, standing on the steps of a railway station. "Faix an' it's jist meself that ttoßpjlo that same," replied l'addy; "you see, you jist go up that strate, till you come to Teddy O'Mulligan's shop; thin—" "But I don't know where Teddy O'Mulli gan's 6hop is." ' Och, an' sure I didn't think uv that.— Well, thin, yer honor must kape on till ye git to the apple woman's stand, on the cor ner of the brick church it is, an' kape that on the right an' go till ye git to the sign uv the red cow—thin ye go on till ye git to the sign uv the big watch, kape that on the left; thin ye kape on a tittle lurder till ye come to a big tree, an' after that ye turn to the right.or left—be the bones uv St. Pat rick, 1 don't known which; thin—" The traveler turned in despair to a long,! lank, slab-sided looking Jonathan, who was | standing close by, whittling with all fury, and made the same inquiry. But here he was little better off. "Maybe you're gwiue to put up there ?" was the response of Jonathan. "1 intend to," said the tarveler, " if I can j get at it." "Did you come from far off?" "Yes, from Philadelphia," was the impa tient reply, "but can't you tell me where the "Got any more baggage ?" said the im perlurable wbittler. "No, this is all," said the traveler, con vinced that the only way to get the direc tion was to submit to the questioning. "Gwine to stay long ?" "Couldn't say," was the reply, in rather a crusty manner. "But I'm in a hurry, and wonld like to be directed to——" "Wait a minute. I reckon you're a mar ried man, aint ye?" "No, lam not. And now I won't an swer any more of your impertinant"!fUerieS', till you have satisfied me where I can' find the " "Wal, squire," quoth the Yankee, cool as a cucumber, "I'd like to oblige you ; but the truth is, I'm a stranger, and have never been in them digging's myself. Bat you can enquire at " "Oh, you go to the I" said the traveler smartly turning upon his heel. In less than a minute, a carpet bag with a man attached, was seen hurrying away from said "digging's," fully convinced that ; asking directions in such a quarter, was of no particular advantage. IRRESISTIBLE. She tied the new cravat Which she so kindly made me ; Then smoothed wi h care my hat, And with her arms delayed me. She brushed tny 'glossy hair,' And said it was so curly! While going down the stairs, She cried, 'come home, DEAR, early !' How happy then was I With all 1 e'er desired ; I fortune could defy, While thus 1 was admired I We parted at the door— Her smile deserved a sonnet ! 'Dear love, but one thing more, 1 want —a new spring bouuet.' , "Let Me Die Quietly" "Be still—make no noise—let me die quietly."— Vice President King. "Be still ?" The hour of the soul's de parture is at hand ; earth is fading from its visions. Time is gliding from its present ! Hope that cluster around young life, lhat swells in the bosom of manhood, have fal len around it like the frosts ot autumn have ( chilled them unto death. Ambition, with its lofty look, have vanished away. The world, with its deceitlulness; pleasure, with its gilded temptations, are gone ; and alone, in utter destruction of all that lime promis ed, it must start on its solemn journey across the valley of the shadow of death I "Make no noise !" Let the tumult oflife cease. Let no sound break the soul's com munion with itself ere it starts on its re turnless flight. Trouble it not with accents -of sorrow. Let the tear stand still on the cheek of affections, and let not the wailing of grief break the solemn silence of the death-scene. Let it gather the accents that come from within the dark shadow ot eter nity, saying to it, come home. Alar off the music came floating to it in the air. 'Tis the sound of heavenly harps touched by viewless fingers. Mar not the harmony by the discord of earth. "Let me die quietly !" The commotions of life, the life warning with human desti ny are over. Wealth accumulated mnst be scattered ; honors won must be resigned | and all the triumphs lhat come within the range of human achievements must be thrown away. The past, with its trials, its transgressions, its accumulated responsibili ties, its clinging memories, its vanished hopes, its rendering up to the future ac count; disturb not the quiet of that awful' reckoning. Speak not of fading memories of affections whose objects perish in their loveliness, like the flowers ol spring, or wither in a slow decay. Talk not of an early home where loved ones linger, where a seat will soon be va cant, a cherished voice hushed forever, or of the desolution that will seat itself by the hearth-Mono. The soul is at peace with God, let it pass calmly away. Heaven is opening upon its vision. The bright tur rets, the tall spires, the holy domes of the Eternal City are emerging from the spec tral darkness, and the glory of the Most High is drawing around them. The white throne is glistening in the distance, and the white robed angels are beckoning the weary spirit to its everlasting home. What is life that it shonld be clung to longer ? What are the joys of the world lhat they should be regretted ? What .has earth to place before the spirit of man to tempt its stay or turn it from its eternal rest? ST A worthy lady who had two chil- j drett sick with the measeles, wrote to a ! friend for the best remedy. The friend had just receieved a note from another lady in quiring the way to make pickets. In the confusion, the lady who inquired about the pickles, received the remedy for the mea sles, and the anxious mother of the sick children, with horror, read the following : "Scald them three or four times in very hot vinegar, and sprinkle them with salt; 1 in a few days they wilt be cured." GT A gentleman being in company with a sprightly damsel ot fourteen, was somewhat annoyed by her playful trickery. | At length be exclaimed : "Now, my dear girl, be still." This was touching a cord of feminine J vanity which is always sure vibrate. As- Burning an air of importance, and retiring to a position of defiance, she responded : "Girl I indeed ! lam as much of a wo man as you are." IT* " BUSTED." —AImost every wagon bound for the gold mines has some motto or other in large letters on the cover. A few weeks ago one was noticed with, " For Pike's Peak, or Bust." Recently the same wagon returned with this addition to the motto. "Busted, by G—d." - - - -- • 17* A very polite young man, whishing to ask a young lady if he might speak to ber a few momonts, wanted to know "if he could roll the wheel of conversation around the axletree of her undertandiug a moment.' The poor girl fainted. 17* "John." said a master to his appren tice as he was about to start on a short jour ney "you must occupy my place while 1 am away." "Thank you, sir," demurely replied John "but I'd rather 'sleep' with the boys." THE following strange epitaph was taken from a tombstone in Sterling, Miss : ' As she on her bed of sickness lay, Her friends stood weeping round, She not a word to them could say, No medicine could they get down." A Word to Fretful Wive*. I There you are, with your mouth pucker ed up again ! What's the mater I Are j yonr friends all dead ? No—well, have you lost every cent you ever owned ? Now, | are your children sick ? Is your husband cross ? have you got the toothache or heart ache? Neither of these and still as cross as a young bear ! We wonder how your family can endure your presence. Those ' young hearts, whose sun you ought to be— how you chill them with your frowns and pettishness ! No wonder they long to get out of the house. And now you have struck your little child because "he would not stop teasing." Friend, that blow fell on his soul, and left an indelible scar there. He will leel it long after he has forgotten it. Many years from now, when your head is laid low in the grave, that blow, given with out cause—impatiently, angrily, will do its work. Why can't yon be good natured ? Were you never so? Memory points to the days of your girlhood—seldom the lines of anger disfigured your brow then. And the man who won your love thought what a happy home she will make for me ! How sweet it will be to sit down by her side after the cares of the day are over! How beautiful to read for her pleasure—to be repaid by smiles and kisses. And the home was ready, and the bride established—but she proved unworthy of the trust reposed in her. Instead of meeting care with a hear ty laugh, and "get behind me Satan," you worried and fretted, and began to tell every little trouble to her husband. It was not womanly; it betrayed a weakness of both head and mind I Imperceptibly its influ ence crept into his spirit, chilling it with a worse chill than lhat of death, till it made a shroud of iron for the disappointed heart, and the charm of love and family and home was gone. J " Was once !"—how often these words drop Irom your lips. "I was handsome once—l was this, that, the other once" and why not now? You yourself have willed your j own destiny—you have chosen the scold's j office; you must receive the scold's deserts. | A little philosophy, a few words breathed jto heaven for patience—a new resolute I hope for to morrow if to-day be stormy—a | little selfdenial in telling petty crosses—a i great deal less selfishness—a desire to make homo a sanctuary for yourself'and little , ones as well as your husband—and to day I would have been happier, handsomer, and more beloved. Fretting sister in light affliction, let us ask a few plain questions. Does a spirit of faultfinding lighten your cares? If your bread is burned to cinder, does it bring you a good light, sweet loaf, to sit down and , worry about it ? If the baby is cross, does it make him smile like an angel to shake him almost out of existence ? If it rains , on washing day, will your anathemas hurry , out the sun until he stops right over your j clothes lirue ?• But if your quick hands should turn'tbYhe flour barrel to mould an other loaf—if you soothe the weeping babe with sweet words of a mother's pitying love, if you devote your washing day to i some appropriate work, how smoothly care will iron down his features, and become your humble slave, instead of the tyranni cal master he would be. It is not too late yet. Surprise your hus band with a smile—it will be worth a dol lar to see his glance of astonishment; hold the salted water of thoughtfolness in your mouth, that you may say nothing unpleas ant, and the angel that has been lying pros trate in his heart with folded wings will be gin to flutter, and lilt itself heavenward and look out of his eyes with the love of the olden time, and yojr home will yet be the paradise you once coveted. BROOH CORN. —An Illinois paper makes the following statement:—"There is a field of broom corn this season in the vicinity of Rockford, Illinois, of nearly eight hundred acres. The seed was planted by machinery, the corn being drilled in rows, two feet apart. The whole crop is contracted at eighty-five dollars per ton. The crop this year will amount to twenty thousand dol lars. W A young gentleman at a temperance meeting, on being asked to sign the pledge, excused himself by saying : "I am not quite ready." At the close of the meeting he proposed tOa accompany a young lady home, she replied : "I am not quite ready, sir." tv A western paper, in describing the effect of a severe thunder shower, says: "A cow was struck by lightning and instantly killed, belonging to the village physician, who had a call four days old." 17* Somebody says, "a wife should be like a roasted lamb—tender and nicely dres sed." A scamp adds, "and without any sauce." HT If a woman could talk out of the two corners of her mouth at the same time, there would be a good deal to be said on both sides. IdT" A little boy returning from the Sun day School said to his mother : "Ma, ain't there a tit/enchism for little boys ? this cut chism is so hard." 17* They have a new kind of girls down at Newport this year—"girls ail un conscious of their charms." [Two Dollars per Annum NUMBER 40, <tl)C farmer anb fjonoekecper. From the Gtnesee Furmtr. Original Domestic Receipts. BAKED QUINCE. —Bake until perfectly ten. der l'are, core, butter, and sugar while hot, thoroughly mix. Excellent. With care in picking and storing, quinces may be saved for baking unlit mid-winter. SWEET POTATOE PlE —Boil the potatoes very soft, then peel and mash thera. To every quarter of a pound, put one quart of milk, three table-spoonfuls of butter, four beaten eggs, together with sugar and nut* meg to the taste. It is improved by a glass of wine. TUNBRIDCE CAKE —Six ounces of butter, six of sugar, three-quarters of a pound of flour, two eggs, and a tea-spoonful of rose water. Stir to a cream the but'.er and sugar, then add the eggs, flour and spice. Roll it out thin, and cut into small cakes. FRUIT CAKE —One pound and a half of flour, one pound of sugar, one-fourth of a pound of butter, one pint of sweet milk, six eggs, Iruit and spice as much as you please. JEI.LV CAKE. —One pound of butter, one ol sugar, or.e of flour, twelve eggs, nutmeg and rose-water. Butter a dinner plate aud bake thin; trim the edges with a pen knife. FRENCH Losr.—One pound of flour, one of butter, one of sugar, gill of milk, gill of brandy, gill of wine, seven eggs, as much fruit as you please. COOKIES.— Five cups flour, two of sugar, one of butter, one tea spoon saleratus, three eggs, and caraway. Baked thin. A RICH CORN BREAD —Take two quarts corn meal, one quart wheat flour, a little salt, and tour eggs; add sour buttermilk enough to form a stiff batter ; mix well; then add two tea-spoonfuls of sodadisßolved in a little warm water. Stir it well and pour it into greased pans, so that it will be about two inches thick when baked. Bake in a hot oven till done—say about half an hour. To MAKE GOOD BREAD. —First, get good flour. Second, take one quart of flour, scald it by pouring over it some boiling wa ter. Then lor each loaf of bread you want to make, add one pint of cold water; stir in flour till it is as thick as can conveniently be stirred. Then put in one half pint of good bop-yeaf"i lor every four loaves. Set it to rise overflight. In the morning make up by adding flour till it is stiff dough.— Knead well, mould into loaves, and, when light, bake it well, and you will have good | bread. I MINCE PIE, SALT BEEF —BoiI the beef till j very tender, lake frorr. the bone, and chop fine; then to every pound of meat, add one pound and a half of apples, pared and cor- I ed. Chop both together until the apples are fine, then to every five pounds of the mixture, add two tea-spoonfuls of black pepper, two table-spoonfuls of allspice, half a pound of raisins, one cup of vinegar, : one of molasses, one of dried blackberries, stewed, and one pint of sweet cream. PUMPKIN PlE. —Halve the pumpkin, take out the seeds, wash it clean, and cut it into small pieces. These are to be slewed gen tly until soft, then drained, and strained ' through a reive. To one quart of the pulp, | add three pints cream or milk, six beaten eggs, together with sugar, mace, nutmeg, ' and ginger, to the taste. When the ingre r dients are well mixed., pour them upon pie plates, having a bottom crust, and bake 1 forty minutes in a hot oven. | BAKED BEANS. —To have a nice dish of baked beans, parboil half an hour, adding a little soda ; then pour ofT the water and rinse them. Add your pork already notch , ed, cover them with water, and let them j boil an hour, adding a tea-spoonful of sugar !to every quart of beans. Then put them in a baking dish, and let them brown nicely. | INDIAN TOAST —Place two quarts of milk ' over the fire. When it boils, add a spoon- J ful of flour to thicken, a tea-spoonful of salt, ; a small lump of butter, two table-spoonfuls lof sugar. Have ready in a deep dish six or eight slices of light Indian bread toasted.— I Pour the mixture over them. Serve hot. BUCKWHRAT FOR MILCH COWS. —An Orange I county N. Y., dairyman, S. C. Roe, feeds largely of buckwheat, without grinding.— ! The grain is boiled with the,hulls |on, and | when thoroughly soaked, put into the feed | box, at the rate of two quarts to each cow. | He adds two quarts of dry meal, which the heat and steam of the buckwheat cooks— this is sprinkled over cut hay, morning and evening, as the daily feed of the cow. He thinks half clover hay well made, is better with grain, than twice the quantity of tim othy with the same grain. APPLES IN OHIO.— The Ohio Farmer says : "Apples are everywhere a failure. [lt means of coarse in interior Ohio.] The ap ple disease is as fatal and wide spread as the potatoe disease in its fullest vigor. Ev erywhere trees are dying—the leaves tnrn yellow, the twigs dry up, and the fruit drops oil, or, if it hangs on till mature, it is gnarly and only half size, very often wormy. Fine apples, of full size, smooth skins, and good flavor, are the exception, not the rule, in all the rigion that sends fruit to this city.— No one can tell." FOR SPAVIN.— Bin-iodide of mercury, five grains; lard one ounce. Mix well. Rub the size of a white bean into the spavin once a day, until it produces a discharge from the skin. This application will reduce almost any bard swelling, even when it is ol a bony nature.
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers