The star of the north. (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, June 22, 1859, Image 1

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PUBLISHED EVERY WEDNESDAY BY
Wl. 11. JACOBY,
'Offlre on Main St., 3rd Square below Market,
TERMSTwo Dollars per annum if paid
Within six months from the time of subscrib
ing: two dollars and filly cts. if not paid with
in the year. No subscription taken for a less
period than six months: no discontinuance
,'permitted until all arrearages are paid, un
less at the option of the editor.
The terms of advertising unit he as fallows :
'One square, twelve lines, three times, §1 00
Every subsequent insertion, 25
One square, tnree months, 3 00
One year 8 00
Choice IJoctrn.
TOE LIST WITCH BURNING.
BY WALTER TIIORNBURY.
At Forfar, June —, 17—,
THERE was a swoon of yellow cloud,
A scud of wind-tossed blue,
A drift of vapor, crimson proud,
Shot purple through and through,
Then a scurl of the grays of a wild dove's
With shilling pearly hue. [wing
•At Forlar, on'a bright June eve
(The sun in blazoned pride,)
They led old Elspmh to the stake,
Her withered hsffils both tied ;
They brought her with a blast of pipes,
As men bring home a bride.
The pointing children hooted her,
Even the beggar's bitch
Bit at her as she trembling went
To die—"the poisoning witch "
Patched cloaks flocked with soft scarlet
The poor as well as rich. [hoods —
They struck her as men do a thief,
Pelting 'he blackening mud ;
They would not stay to file the bridge,
But dragged her through the flood
Old bedrid hags from windows screamed
Longing to drir.k her blood.
Looking across the fields you saw
Black lines, that widened out,
Of ploughmen running ; on the wind
Came curse and groan and shout:
But, God ! to hear no single sob
Or sigh from all that rout!
She ifcrtspe'c'l Tor mercy. Ask the dog
To spare the strangling life
That in the vixen moans and barks
Deep in the tumbling strife ;
Or ask the Indian chief to give
Mercy wher. blood is rife.
Old Elspeth, with her lean arms crossed
Humbly upon her breast,
Walks painlully with bleeding feet,
A rope strains round her chest;
Sickly Iter watery eyes upturn
To the gallows further west
Her coif is off, her ragged hair,
Snow-streaked with wintry years,
Floats out when any gust of wind
Brings billowing storms of cheers :
The rolling mob still screech and roar,
No bloodshot eye drops tears.
She kissed a Bible, —close she kept
The volume to her lips ;
Oh 1 then arose a flame of yells
As when war's red eclipse
Passes. The leaping hangman then
. Cried out for "stronger whips."
Yet all this lime the mounting larks
Saug far from hitman toil, —
Miles, thites around the ripening corn
Was in the golden boil ;
The bee upon the blue flower swings
In resiles, happy moll.
With stolid care across the moor
The distant death-bell rung.
And drowning it five thousand screamed
The ribald dirge that's sung
When the great King Devil has his own,
And another witch is hung.
Twas pitiful to see them bind
Those shrunk limbs to the stake ;
Her idiot sisters' thankful smiles
Approve the pains they take,
And all the cruel, mocking care
With which the slicks they break.
A calcined collar round her neck
The barte-faced hangman fits,
An iron chain around her waiet
And round her ankles knits,
As ready for the fire his man
The beach log cleaves and splits.
They thrust 'the cruel arrowy flame
Into the billet heaps,
I Its fiery, Serpent quivering tongues
Make eager hungry leaps ;
The poor old creature stretched her hands '
To warm them. No one weeps !
The savage tiger fire is lit,
A thunder-cloud of smoke,
In one ribb'd column tall and black,
Rose thirty feet, then broke :
It blotted out the setting sun
As with a burial cloak.
•% Yon hear from thickness of the cloud
The mumble of a prayer,
And lo ! a shriek, swift, dagger keen
Sprang up and Blabbed the air,
'Then just one burning hand that atrove
J To wave and beckon there.
came upon the crowd,
jurprhen the softening spring
Break* up the icy northern seas,
Melting ting alter ring :
Then, rising O'er their gtiilty heads,
Theiuk sought Heaven's King.
Watt f|htt sinner's pleading soul
Thntffik op to those skies,
High, hWfcpve the burning light
And seWfcbtutal eyes,
The storms alp eddies round the Make
Of brutal WtH-beast tries.
* Ml * * *
An hour ago WNoW but a ring
Of ashes sUralf white,
And filmy sparksllre| broke in blooms
Of fitful scarlet lignß.!
When acudding wintflfcuh fiery gush,
Drove the children leg end fight.
And chief amongst the crowd
A child langhed with those btouU—
Bbe was the maid the hag bewi^ed
Upon the lairds own lands ;
And when she saw the ash blow M
She clapped her little hands. gjL
Thank God, the frightened, cruel follM^|
Ne'er lit that fire again ;
Notrawore that catciiied collar more,
VWh its griping, thfottling strain :
'Twas • cruel deed, and only sweet ■
To the bigot's blighted braitl.
--Bentley's Miscellany
lILOOMSBURG, COLUMBIA COUNTY, PA., WEDNESDAY, JUNE 22, 1859.
The way Dogs are taken in and done for in
New York.
The dog pound is an old hulk, moored
close of the pier at the foot of East Twenty
eighth street. The visitor steps on board
by means of a plank, and enters a door lead
ing underneath a shed which has been
constructed on deck. Close by the door is
the desk of the clerk, who keeps an account
of all dogs and puppies received, giving to
the persons who bring them checks on the
Mayor for their respective amounts. Long
before the visitor Teaches the pier his ears
are saluted by a medley of canine sounds,
not by any means melodious as the deep
baying of the beagle, while engaged in the
chasebat it is not until he is fairly in the
enclosure where the animals are kept that
he receives the full benefit of the discord
Along each side of the shed is a lath, to
which on Monday afternoon about two hun
dred dogs, of all sorts and all conditions,
are lastened with ropes ; one on the end of
the cord being slipped around the neck of
each animal. There were the Scotch ter
rier, the spaniel, the pug, the poodle, the
cur—in short there were
"Ptappy, mongrel, whelp and hound,
And cur of low degree."
And they kept up a deafening noise, of
yelping, howling, snapping, snarling, yel
ling and barking—lrom the short, sharp yell
of lite poodle, to the deep bow-wow of the
house dog. There were very few of any
value, while many were decidedly of a
Snarleyow character, as far as appearance
goes. A pretty large regiment of them
might have been collected so mangy and
otherwise so objectionable, that a canine
Falslaff would have refused to "go through
Coventry with them—that's flat."
At the further end of the deck is placed a
large square cistern, with a grating covering
it over on the top, in which the dogs are
drowned, secundum artum —a very delicate
bit of a job, as will be shown in its proper
place. Descending in the hold, the visitor
enter's another kennel of dogs, where sights
are to be seen, and noises heard similar to
those on deck. It is unnecessary to inform
the reader that the effluvia of the entire vas
selisby no means ambrosial, particularly
those of the cistern, in which a large num
ber of dogs have been already placed.
At about 5i o'clock, the time arrived for
the execution to commence. Accordingly,
a boy stationed himself on the grating upon
the cistern, opened a trap door forming a
part of the grating, and large enough to ad
mit a good sized dog. A man stood on the
step leading to the top of the cistern, for the
purpose of receiving the dogs, which were
handed to him one by one, or it. the case of
small dogs, by couples. The motlus operan
di was to first coax the dogs, calling out in
a wheedling manner, "Jack, Jack poor fel
low 1" (poor fellow, indeed !) accompanied
by that peculiar sucking of the lips well
known as the dog language, but which in
the present imperfect state of the sci
ences of chicograpy and typography, it is
impossible to delineate upon paper. This
was rather a Judas like proceeding, but it
had its effect,and the unsuspecting dog thus
flattered soon had his teeth severed by a
knife, and himself lifted by the "scruff' of
the neck and handed to the man on the
step, who threw him incontinently into the
'cistern among his fellow-canines, when the
attendant juvenile immediately closed the !
trap over him. With small dogs this was ]
an easy job, but it was otherwise with the
large fellows, and the executioner had to
take a purchase by their caudle appendages
to pitch them in. There was no offer to
bite the men engaged in the work, except
in the case of one pug nosed and pugnacious
little fellow, with hair as rough and about
the collor of a rat, and not much larger
than that interesting quadruped. He was I
determined to die "game" and so showed
fight to the last. The man who had to
catch him went very gingerly to work, and
at la6t succeeded in laying hold of him in a
handy part and popping him into limbo.
Whenever a really valuable dog is found
he is put aside and kept for sale. While
this operation was going on, the man who
was handing up the dogs, passed a dark
colored spaniel, when he who was pitching
them into the cistern, and Who is evidently
a Cockr.ey, to judge by his vernacular, ex
claimed, "Wot you passin' by of that'ere
dorg for, Charley. He haii.t worth nothin'."
To which Charley replied, that the owner
had promised to call for him. He was re
spited accordingly.
The last dog—a huge black fetaaid, in an
interesting condition—had been put in, and
the trap was fastened down. And now the
yelling was frigthful. A noxious exhalation
rosd from the packed cistern,and intense heat
was emited. Long before the water could
be applied, the dogs at the bottom must
have died from suffocation ; for upwards of
two hundred dogs of all sizes were packed
in a cistern of about twelve feet square and
about seven feet deep. It was a perfect
canine hole of Calcutta; and if the mind
can conceive of Mayor Tiemann's barajah
Dowlah,Marshal Stephens, who superinten
ded the whole affair, as the sentry, and the
dogs as the British soldiers, (all Christians
ate dogs in Mahommendan eyes,) the par
allel will be complete.
All being, prepared, the hose was ran
from the plug on the street to the cistern,
and the water let in. To those on top the
cooling bath must have been a temporary
relief and they seemed rather to enjoy it;
bat it was no to last. The water rose higher,
the yelps became faintet and fainter, and
in a short time all was still.
h Carte are now brought on the pier, and
■f%st(tg d bodies taken from .the cistern and
placed therein, for conveyance to the place
Where such carrion is usually deposited,
i after which another batch of dogs under
-1 went a similar operation, till all had given
up the ghost, that is, supposing the met-
I empsychosis to be true, and that dogs have
' ghosts to give up.— Express.
The Road over the Alps.
• As this road will soon become famous as
the route of the French army from France
into Italy, the following description, given
by a correspondent of the New York Timet,
who recently passed over it, will be read
with interest :
"The road over Mont Cenis is macada
mized throughout its whole extent, and is
wide and in perfect order, consisting of easy
grades. On the top of the mountain there
was much snow,but most of it was removed
from the road ; a work of great labor, as the
cuts in some places were ten feet deep, and
the snow so compact that its sides were per
pendicular.- The diligence was several
hours in passing through this region of
snow, and it was snowing at the time and
extremely cold. On Monday and Tuesday
of this week it rained hard on the West side
of the mountain, and it was feared that the
passage of troops was impeded by fresh
snows. The journey over the pass is 'no
nice affair, even to one who occupied the
protected seatß of ft comfortable diligence
—such was my fortunate position. What
must it be to soldiers on foot, wet with se
vere rains, and encumbered with knapsacks
and arms ?
"The pass is 6,825 feet high—nearly 300
feet higher than the famous Simplon pass.
That of the great St. Bernard, over which
Napoleon conducted his army before any
road had been formed, is 8,200 feet. The
east grades of the Mont Cenis road, and the
protection furnished by granite posts on its
exterior, within seven or eight feet of each
other, firmly planted in the earth, and four
feet high, indicate that a principal object in
thus fo'rtmug it was the easy and safe haul
ing of cannon and baggage over the line.
I walked for miles over the road, in the
ascent from the Sardinian side, and care
fully observed its construction. The engin
eering difficulties were immense, but they
have been overcome with such skill that
the ascent is uniform and easy in every part
Occasionally a level place is left to afford
relief to horses from the wearysomeness of
a steady pull. I noticed that the marks of
the drill used in blasting were nearly oblit
erated, the effect of long continued exposure
to severe storms and the character of the
rock, which is a soft limestome. It may be
if the history of the road shall ever be lost,
that future antiquarians may contend, from
the obliteration of all sign 6 of blasting, that
at least no great difficulties were encoun
tered in its construction, even if they do
not insist that it was formed or. a natural
bed. One is struck with wonder that such
a great work, over high mountains, should
have been formed and finished on a line
exceeding fifty miles so completely that it
exceeds in excellence any road I know of
in the United States, whether public or pri
vate and long ro short. It is kept in high or
der, and is .descended on a brisk trot with
entire Safety.
"It seemed most appropriate, as this great
road was the work of the elder Napoleon,
that the representative of his name should
distinguish himself by using it for the march
of a great army aimed at the same Power
which Napoleon successfully encountered
soon after crossing the Alps."
The Voice of tbe Whang-Doodle.
A 'whang-doodle' preacher wound up a
flaming sermon with this magnificent pero
rations :
'My brethefing and sistern ! ef a man's
full of religion, you can't hurt him ! There
was the three Arabian children ; they put
'em in a firey furnace, heeled seven times
hotter then it could be het, and it didn't
singe a bar on ther heads ! And there was
John the Evangeler; they put him—and
where do you think brelhering and sistern,
they put him ? Why they put him in a
caldadronic of bilin' ilo, and biled him all
night, and it didn't faze his shell! And
there was Daniel; they put him into a lion's
den; and what my fellow travellers and re
spected auditories, do you think he was put
into a lion's den for? Why, for prayin'
three times a day. Don't be alarmed, brelh
ering and sistern; I don't think any of you
will ever get into a lion's den for a like of
fence.
A Temperance Slory.
Deacon Johnson is a great temperance
man, and sets a good example of total ab
stinence as far as he is seen. Not long ago
he employed a carpenter to make some al
ternations in his parlor, and in repairing
the corner near the fire place it was found
necessary to remove the wainscoting, when
lo 1 a discovery was made that astonished ev
erybody. A brace of decanters, a tumbler,
and a pitcher, were closely reposing there
as if they had stood there from the begin ing.
The deacon was summoned, and as he be
held the blushing bottles, he exclaimed,
" Ha'll, 1 declare, that is curious, sure
enough. It must be what old Bains left
when he went out of this 'ere house 30 years
ago." "Perhaps he did" relumed the car
penter, "but, deacon, the ice in the pitoh
er must have been friz mighty hard to stay
till this time."
'DOH'T hurry,' exclaimed the man Who
was going to be hung, to tbe crowed which
I followed hire, 'there'll be no fun till I get
there.'
Mr Country.
Funny People.
' As a class, funny people are by no means
numerous. Indeed, they are great rarities.
So that it is chiefly on the stage that you
can see the model men and women of tbe
order. The world of real life is dull and
dry for rearing the species and preserving
its originality. It gets soured and crusted
with the atmosphere of society, and looses
its specific levity by the requisition of grav
ity instead. Fgn is generally a great favor
ite—so much so, that eves in church, if It
should be met with, it seldom causes a
frown. With some this tunny propensity
is natural and unaffected—with others it is
artificial, aiming at effect. With the for
mer it is generally done gravely and seri
onsly, as ft 'unconscious urtho ridicule
•abdnt to be excited. The funniest of all
people never laugh at their o*n fun. You
never see old Keeley laujh ; his wile
laughs, for she wants the sam power as he
of commanding the countentnce, but lor
that very reason she wants his humor
Keeley looks grave as Bottom, when all the
house is roaring with laughter; nor does
there appear the slightest effott on his part
to restrain his countenance. It was the
same with Liston—that cool, inimitable
droll—who always seemed to be the only
person present who was not aware of his
own absurdities, or amused by his own
drolleries.
It is chiefly in this perrfect restraint Or
command of the countenance that the diffi
culty of comic acting consists. It it a rare
gilt. Not one man in ten thousand can
preserve his countenance unmoved, in the
midst of a good-natured vOfley Gf mirth ami
fun. Anger may do it for him sometimes,
when he would rather indulge in it; but
that is only another proof of tbe almost in
superable difficulty of controlling the exqui
site muscles of the mouth, in which lie the
whole of the the passional expression Of
the cour tenance. In the young, it is per
haps immpossible, and some youngsters
suffer severely from the irrepressibility of
laughter, when ludricous ideas are present
ed to the mind. Young girls, also, when
they would be merry and very funny, gen
erally laugh so much when telling their
funny stories, that it is no easy mat
ter to know what they are saying. A
real funster can so surcharge his story
with fun that his hearers shall be compell
ed to laugh, whether he himself laugh or
not, which he seldom does, except for so
ciality and exercise for bis lunge. But
who has not a real lunny genius supplies
the want of it by the laughter that nature
has ordained to accompany it. If you sec
a gitl telling a story and laughing inordi
nately at every two or three words, as if she
were rather hearing some one recount the
tale than recounting it herself, you may be
quite sure that that girl has not the genius
for telling a funny story, but only the sus
ceptibility for laughing at one.
But if yrtu see two or three young wo
men laughing most histerically, and one in
the midst of them talking quietly with al
most imperturable, but yet good-natured
smiling countenance, you want no more
evidence —that is a funny fiirl, the funniest
of the bevy. She has got the genius for fun
She is an actress and a star in her own
sphere. . - • *
tees of Crime-Imperfect Training.
The rapid increase of crime, and the de
moralization and carelessness which too
frequently prevail in onr cities, and large
towns and villages, 100 plainly show the
improper training of our young mon and
our young women also. Says a cotempora
ry—with too much truth—over indulgence
is a potent auxiliary to imperfect training.
Our boys and girls are scarcely out of their
swadling clothes ere they are treated as
young gentlemen and incipient ladieß.
While yet under the discipline of the teach
er's ferule, they conceive themselves com
petent to take their places in society. Boys
of sixteen talk politics, frequent public
amusements, smoke cigars, and imbibe in
toxicating fluids. Girls of fourteen or fif
teen chatter scandal, are fastidious and ele
gant in the toilet, play the woman, prate of
marriage, and converse among themselves
about their beaux. Long ere the years of
discreation have arrived, both sexes know
too much. Beardless youths are converted
into rakish men of the world, and simper
ing misses, who ought still to wear panta
lets, are thoroughly grounded in the arts -of
flirtation and coquetry. To anticipate mod
esty, propriety, moral rectitude, and a
sense of religious responsibility from such
materials would be about as unreasonable
as to expect to find humanity in a tiger,
courago in a hare, or genius in an idol.
Seven-eights of the crimes which the press
is constantly compelled to record, proceed
from this fruitful source of misery and vice.
As long as parents and guardians shrink
from the pertormance of their duty, so long
will the evil continue uncheckod. It is im
possible to plant brambles, and gather ro
ses. No one can habitually swsflow poi
son with impunity. Children, if surrender
ed to the anarchical government of their
own bad passions, will necessarily become
vicious in youth and depraved in manhood.
A cabin boy on board a ship, the cap
tain of which was a religous man, was cal
led up to be whipped for some misdemean
or. Little Jack went crying and trembling,
and said to the Capt.—"Pray, sir, will you
wait till I say my prayers ?" "Yes," was
the stern reply. "Well then,"replied Jack
looking up, and smiling triumphantly.—
I'll ssy them when I get ashore."
THE NORTH.
How Mike Fn Rati Doctored His Pig.
Mr. Michael Fagatt is a very worthy rep
resentative from "Green Eric," residing in
a small dwelling in a small village near
Boston. Michael is industrious and strives
hard to turn art honest penny to account,
whenever, and however, there may be the
slightest prospect of profit. Michael has a
little patch of ground behind bis house,
where he supports a few ducks and Chick
ens ; and the freshest eggs in the neighbor
hood can always be found on his premises,
for he never allows himseli to be possessed
of more than a single dozen at any time be
fore disposing of them. In addition to his
slock of poultry, Michael purchased a young
jiig, which after four months petting and
nursing, he prided ftimself upon exhibiting
to his friends and acquaintances, as one of
the "swatest and kindest craythers in the
wurld."
But Michael's pig took sick, and from his
coughing and sneezing symptoms, it was
certainly evident that he had contracted a
very bad cold.
Close by the residence of this honest Hi
bernian, there dwells the village physician,
a kind hearted man, and very skillful,
whose practice is none of the largest. As
he came from his house, a short time since,
Michael Blood at the gate, ruminating upon
the chances„in favor of his favorite pork er,
and observing the doctor, he hailed him
with : "The top uv the ntornin' to ye doc
thur ?"
"Ah, Michael, how are you ?"
"It's very well I am meself docthur—but
perhaps ye'll be tellin' a poor man what
he'd be after doin' for his pig; ahone! ahone!
he's very sick, docthur."
"Pig," exclaimed the doctor with a smile,
"What pig, Michael, and what's the mat
ter with him ?"
"Sure he's very bad indade, so he is. A
cowled, docthur, shneezin' and barken the
head off him and divil blasht the thing I can
do wid him."
"Well, really, Michael, I can't say, I'm
not a pig doctor !"
"Sure it's meself that knows that. But if
it was a gossoon instead uv the darlin cray
ther what.would 1 bo after doing wid him
for the cowld he has 1"
"Well," continued the doctor, consider
ately, "were it a child, Michael, perhaps 1
should reccomrnend a mustard poultice to
his back, and his feet put in hot water."
■ " It's moself that's obliged to ye, docthnr,
be dad I am," responded Mike, as the phy
sician passed slung,, a and he entered his
house.
"Biddy !" he added, addressing his wife,
" we'll cure the pig, so we will." In a
short time the porker was invested in a
strong mustard plaster from his tail to his
ears. Notwithstanding his struggles, and
his wheezjigs, and torture ftom the action
of the unyielding plaster, a tub of almost
boiling water was prepared, and into it
poor piggy was soused above his knees.
The result may easily be conceived.
Next morning, bright and early, Michael
stood at the gate once more, awaiting the
coming of the doctor, who soon made his
appearance.
"Good morning, Mike, how does the pig
come on ?"
"O, be gorrah, docthur! it was mighty
oncivil in ye to be tratiug a neighbor in that
way, so it was."
" Why, what is the matter, what has hap
pened, Michael."
"Happened is it, I put the powltice on
the pig, so I did, an' he squealed murther,
an' be dad it's no wonder, for the wul roll'd
off his back from.head to tail."
"What!"
"Didn't I put the pig's feet in hot wather
as ye towled me, an' be jabers the hoofs
tumbled off uv him intirely I"
Poor Mike spoke truly. Through his ig
norance he had blistered off the bristles,
and with the hot water he scalded off poor
grunter's feet. He died under this double
dose, and though Michael has never since
asked the doctors upon similar matters, he
still insists that it was "a mane trick so it
was."
Indian Anecdote.
Sequashequaslt, an Indian of the remains
of a tribe in Connecticut, was some years
since brought before a justice of the pace
on some charge or other, which 1 do not
rcollect. John happened to be drunk at the
time, and instead of answering directly to
the question put by thejustice, merely mut
tered out: —Your honor is very—very wise
—very wise—y-y-your honor is very wise,
I say."
Being unable to get any other answer
from him, the justice ordered him to be lock
ed up till the next day, when John was
brought before him perlecily sober.
'Why, John,' said the justice, you was
as drunk as a beast yesterday. When I
asked you any questions, the only answer
you made was—'Your honor's very wise—
very wise.'
'Did I call your honor wise ! said the In
dian with a look of incredulity.
'Yes,' answered the magistrate.
'Then,' replied John, 'I must have been
drunk, sure enough.'
'Miss Brown, I have been to learn bow
to tell fortunes,' said a young man to a bru
nette. 'Just give we your band if you please.'
'La, Mr. White, how sudden you are!
Well, go ask pa.'
THI roan who has planted himself on j
his good intention has not yet sprouted.
IN OYSTER SETTER.
"Gently stir and.rake the 'fi're,
, Put the oystern on to roast,
'Duck Creek planted' I desire,
They're the kind that please me most
8 As the odor strikes my nose,
, My appetites much keener grows.
9 "On the plate now see them lie,
1 ,In the gravy plump and fat!
, Finger 'fish' ne'er met my eye'
Nor an op'ning rich as that 1
Let tr.e season to the taste,
With pepper, salt, etc—hasto.
1 " The cloth upon the table spread
Now knife and fork as quietly got,
With butter fresh and toasted bread,
8 I'll have a feast unread of yet;
; While pony brandy and segars
{ Will set me up beyond the stars."
i ... r
f Occasions of Death.
5 They are everywhere ! No palli is shel
tered from them ; no business ; no mode of
, life is secure from their invasion. We walk
3 amid them, lie down amid them, labor, rest,
L eat and steep amid them. Abroad they
I beset our goings. Do we go forth in the
. I morning to the day's labor?—we may not
| ! reach the field or the shop. Do we turn
( , homeward from our place 6f business ?
3 we may be seized with death pangs on the
! street. Do we stroll out musingly at even
, i ing twilight, by field or streamlet ?—death
. | accompanies us. The poor mail's cottage
, 1 may be proudly called his citadel, which
. no human authority not civil force can
rightfully enter ; yet the messenger of the
J King of Terrors lurk in every corner, and
t mortal diseases brood over the generouß
t board, the blazing hearthstone, and the
t sleeping couch.
I We never get beyond tllis'deadly immi
! nence. We are not like a mariner passing
' j by Hell's Gate, with smooth, safe waters
i just ahead. Our whole life is a voyage
| through a nartew strait, hemmed in with
3 rocks and whirlpools. It has been said of
j life, that it is not a to a preci
| pice in the distance, but a path lying along
3 1 the edge of an abyss, and that each ad
| vancing step may be the fatal leap. Cast
I ' your eye on yonder mountain. See that
_ I frightful preeipiece, which frowns along its
, J a gg e d side as far as the eye can reach.—
| Many an ill-fated wanderer upon those diz
_ | zy heights, has toppled, and gone shrieking
[ down into the deep gorges below. As you
, look, a huge rock, loosening from the moun
tain top, thunders down, and startles the
• quiet of that deep abyss with its tremendous
crash. Look upward again ! Along the
s crumbling edge of that precipice you per
ceive a narrow path ; And with shivering
sensation, you discover that human beings
' are crowding along that mountain footway.
Age creeps on with its staff, youth rushes
forward, the cripple hobbles along, the
j mother goes there, and Net child by her
side. You are surprised to find, that, with
1 the exceptions of one here and there, those
way-farers seem to be entirely ignorant of
their perilous situation. They march on
as securely as though there was no abyss
I 1 within a thousand miles. Often they stagger
on the brink, and—
"Their heedless feet from under
8 Slips the crumbling brink."
But with a bound and a shout, they dance
= along. Your impulse is to cry out "Stop !
1 stop 1" But in vain ! Your voice could not
reach those giddy heights. See ! one hap
' less creature fall ! Those near by 1 are ar
! rested by the sudden plunge, and they seem
*, for a moment to be sensible of their danger;
but next moment they rush on heedless, as
1 before. Soon another sinks ; and as one
> after another, in rapid succession, goes
. headlong down, the eager crowd press on,
unaffected by the catasirophe.
I Such is a picture of life, of death, and ol
r human blindness !—A.
i
EXPLOIT OF A KENTUCKY LADY. —The Louis
. j ville Journal relates a 'rich affair' which oc
curred some five miles above Louisville,
r on the river road, on Thursday evening
j last, in which an interesting and refined
3 Kentucky lady severely whipped her hus
. baud whom she had discarded. Both par
t ties being present at a trial before a justice
of the peace, she secretly ordered her ne
gro boy to unhitch the horse attached to the
buggy in which the husband had come, so
as to prevent his escape, and having got
hold of the whip of Deputy Sheriff Hite,
without exciting any suspicion as tb her
, intentions, awaited the exit of her husband
' from the temple of justice, after the exami
nation of the trial. As soon as he stepped
out she commenced belaboring him unmer
j cifully with the whip. He made good time
to the buggy, pursued by her, but to his
I chagrin he found the horse unhitched, and
I returning still pursued by her, he called
j upon the officers for protection. She pro
: tfested against any interference, remarking
, that he had a set of teeth in his mouth that
were paid for by her, and she wanted to gel
! them.
LOVE. —An old writer says that love is
. like the small pox—a man never experi
ences it but once. To continue the figure,
. would it not be safer for young men to un
dergo a process similar to vaccination, rath
er than take the disease in the natural way,
, that is, to fall in love with a woman from
books and description, rather, than from ac
tural intercourse with the world—to admire
her in the abstract, not in the reality ? Thus
a large proportion of foolish love scrapes,
| and more foolish marriages might, perhaps,
( be prevented.
"Pooh 1 pooh !" said a wife to her ex
piring husband, as he strove to utter a few
, j parting words, "don't stop to talk, go on
with your dying."
[Two Dollars per Anam.
NUMBER 24.
. A Yankee at a Conrl in the Lower Regions.
| The Court was sitting,and business seem
| ed to carried on with a dispatch quite un
know to our "upper" tribunals. Presently
one of the Constables called out :
"Virgil Hoskins ! Virgil Hoskins !
"Here !" answers'a yankee pedler, quak
ing up the bar.
Rhadamanthus was settled with a great
number of huge account books before him :
"Virgil Hoskins is your name, is it ?" said
he ; "here it is among the H's, pp 49,358 ;
ah, Virgil, there is a terrible long account
against you. Let's see a few of the charges:
VIBGIL HOSKINS, DR.
June 27, 18—: To selling in the course of
one peddling expedition, 497,368 yrooden
nutmegs, 281,532 Spanish segars made of
oak leaves, and 647 wooden clocks.
"What do you say to that charge, Hos
kins ?"
Hoskins—"Say to it ? Why, that was
counted in our place, abeout the greatest
peddlin' trip that ever was made over the
Potoma'c."
Rhadamanthus—"June 29, 18—: To steal
ing an old grindstone, covering it over with
cotton cloth, smearing it over with butter,
and selling it as a cheese."
Hoskins (in great surprise)—"Jimminy !
you wouldn't punish a man for that, would
ye ?"
Rhadamanthus—"December 13, 1780 :
To making a counterfeit dollar out of pew
ter, when you were six years old,and cheat
ing your own father with it."
Hoskins—"My parent was real glad when
he found it eout ; he said it showed,! had a
genus."
Rhadamanthus—"To taking a worn out
pair of shoes, which you had found on the
road, and selling them to an old lady, as
being the actual shoes of St. Paul."
Hoskins (with exultation)—! made four
dollars and twelve-and-a-half cents by that
operation !"
Rhadamanthus—" July 2, 18—: To taking
an old empty gold watch case, putting a live
cricket into it, and then selling it as a pat
ent lever in full motion."
Hoskins—"He ! he ! he ! —wal, that viai
one of the cutest tricks I 'ever played in all
my life !"
Rhadamanthus—"lt would occupy me a
week, Hoskins, to go through all the charg
es against you you. I really am getting
entirely out of patience with Now England,
for it gives me more trouble than all the
rest of the world put together. You are
sentenced to be thrown into a lake of boil
ing molasses, where nearly all your coun
trymen already are, with that same old
gindstone tied to your neck."
Alter the Yankee had been thus disposed
of, there were a few other cases. Among
the rest an old Virginian was condemned
for fishing on Sunday : a Kenluckiati for
horse stealing ; a Georgian for hard swear
ing ; and a south Carolinian for taking part
with the General Government against his
own State.
BLIND GIRL—POWER OF THE BIBLE.—A
little girl had been attacked with a severe
pain in the head, which ended in blindness.
She was taken to an eminent occulist, who
pronounced her incurable. She wished to
know what the doctor said about her stdte,
and her mother told her. 'What mother!
exclaimed the child 'am I never to see the
sun, nor the beautiful field, nor you my
dear mother, nor my father ? 0! how shall
I bear it 1' She wrung her hands, and
wept bitterly. Nothing seemed to yield
her the slightest comfort till her mother ta
king a pocket bible from the table, placed
itiuher hands. 'Whatsis this mother?'
inquired the desolate little girl. 'lt is the
Bible, my child.' Immediately a score of
its most consolatory passages presented
themselves to her mind. She paused, turn
ed her poor benighted eyeballs towards the
ceiling, while an angelic expression played
on heb countenance and then, as if filled
with the Holy Spirit, breathed forth in an
impassioned, but scarcely audible whisper
—' 'lhy will be done on earth ai it is done in
heaven /'
ROLLING OFF A LOO. —An editor out YVest,
being deserted by his printers, who were
'on a strike,' was compelled to turn into the
office himself. In his next week's paper
appeared a graphic account of the circum
stances, composed by the editor's 'own fair
finger,'s conluding with the words—'Tnik
oj tHe sublime arT oj Printinff ; bleSs ouK
soul ? it's as eAs£ as roLling ofj a 'jo3.'
A LKSSOII IN ARITHMETIC. —Teacher.—
John suppose I was to shoot at a tree with
five birds on it, and kill three, how many
would be left!
John.—Three, sir. . r,
Teacher.—No, two would be left you ig
noramus.
John.—No there wouldn't though—the
three shot would be left, and the other two
would be flied away.
Teacher.—Take your seat, John.
A hunrgry Scotchman took a raw egg,
cracke'd the shell, and was raising it to his
mouth, when his ear was suddenly saluted
by the the shrill pipe of an unborn chicken.
"Ye speak too late," cried Swaney and
down went the pullet, feathers and all.
CURE FOR WARTS AND CORNS. —the bark
of a willow tree, burnt to ashes, mixed with
strong vinegar and applied to the parts,will
remove all corns or excrescenses on any
part of the body.