THE STAR OF THE NORTE
1. W. Wearer, Proprietor.]
VOLUME 8.
THE STAR OF THE NORTH
te PUBLISH ED EVEUY WEDNESDAY MOnNINU DV
It. W. WEAVER*
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third square below Market.
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AWAY WITH GLUOM.
DV iOIIH YEOMAN.
Spurn the lines which sorrow traces |
Laugh the ills of life away,
Tbev who wear the gladdeat facea
Always Hyo the longest day.
Why complain, though fortune press thee.'
Why rgpioe at lowly birth,
While contentment still may bless thee
With the joys of pealiog mirth ?
Art though rich in pounds and rubles ?
Dost thou sleep on beds of down ?
Laugh to see how vain the baubles
Which deceive the gaping clowo.
What though now thy years are many,
And thy locks are turning gray ;
Hast thou not a hope of any
Jop beyond tby mortal day ?
Thou hast dreamed perhaps of glory; {
Fate has held thee under ban;
Still unknown to song or atory,
Thou canal be a merry man.
Toil not after gilded sadness;
Let not woe thy soul entice ;
For the world la lull of gladness
Oflered thee wilhom a price.
Doat tnou apeak of cares and trouble*!
Cares and troubles what are they ?
Nothing more than floating bubbles,
Which a laugh may drive away.
Laugh, and charm (he Fates to listen;
Hoot all gloomy fancies down ;
Thus shall Time forget to hasten,
And e'en Death relax his frown.
trom the N. Y. Picayune.
DO EST I(; lIS VISITS THE STRONG
MINDED WOMEN.
I have recently attended the annual Exhi
bition of ripstsving female* who have sworn
a aolemn oath to snatch the pantaloons from
th* legs of the tyrant, Man, usurp (ho stove
pipe hat, and monopolize all tbe standing
collars lu die country. The Woman's Kights
Convention at the Tabernacle has been the
scene of my labor*, and the Strong-minded
Females have been the subject of my obser
vations. Was introduced by Damphool, who*
said some of the leaders in the movement
were relatives of his—indeed I should hsve
recognized at once sever® female Damphools
without this friendly explanalion. Lot of
people present, all sympathizers with the
wronged Women. The wardrobe of ihe fem
inines seemed to be in a transition stale, as
if as yet undecided whether to subside into
petticoats, or blossom into breeches ; and if
beauty had been a capital crime in llie land,
not even one of ihem would ever have been
accDsed, or even suspected of tbe offence.
I achieved admission without difficulty,
though I had previously resolved, if neces
sary, lo shave of! my flowing beard, hoop up ,
my honored legs after the prevailing style, |
and go in surreptitiously as a strong-minded
female ; but the Women's Rightors had no |
prejudioe against pantaloons, quite the con- ,
trary, and did not seriously object to whis
kers. In fact, Lucy Stone's man, and Ernes
tine Rose's man, and all the strong-minded
women's men who were there, wore whis
kers—they couldn't havo given more atten
tion to raising them if there had been a fam
ine in the land, and beards had been bread
stuffs.
Tliey elected a the President named Pau
lina- not the Pauliue mentioned in '.he play,
but a different animal altogether—one that
Claude Melnotte would have goneeix blocks
out of bis way to avoid, and whom he would
no more have written poetry about, or sent
flowers to, tban be would have addressed a
sonnet to Fighting Moll, or tent a bouquet of
violets to Black Kate, oell 599, in the Tombs.
There were considerable skirmishes, a la
Congress, and at one time 1 thought thai Lucy
Stone and the President would have a couple
ol rounds before they could settle their little
matters, but when Paulina took of her jacket,
roiled op her sleeves and shook her fists with
a sanguinary flourish, Luce say her error and
backed out.
Then tbey began to do what they called
baainost—couldn't see much business in it
—it was ell about the monster. Man—bow
(be monster, Men, was abusing frail Woman
—how the mor.ster, Man would not let frail
Women vote, and objected to frail Woman's
wearing hie pantaloons ; and didn't want frai'
Woman to make she lows, and would rather
have fraH Women stay at home and tend the
babies, than go to Washington and try to
govorn tho Nation. And how the monster,
Man, was cutting up all sorts of monkey
shines with (rail Woman, and trying to keep
frail Woman under tils feet, instead of lotting
bar "rise o her proper sphere, and fulfil her i
lofty mission,''—bow, in short, ell the world
was leagued against the seven or eight par
ticularly eldeily women there congregated,
and trying to pulverize them to eternal smash
—I suppose fhis must be all true, though if
I had not Ifltd (beir solemn eeservjlions of
the faet I should have gone to my grave sop
posing in m/Innocence that (lie world lias
bigger business to attend to. As to (beir
frailly and delictus structore, it must be
something that Is indicated by outward man
BLOOMSBURG, COLUMBIA COUNTY, PA., WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 24, 1856.
ifestaiions, Tor if I had not been left (a ray
own judgment I should have suppoeed that
Luce Stone and Lucreesh Mott could hold
their own in a (air stand-up fight with Char
ley Duane and Billy Mulligan—indeed, if a
match conld have been arranged between
the former lady and Yankee Sullivan him
self, I should have lost money on Luce, lor
she looks plucky—though to be sure Luce's
milk-and-water husband probably doesn't
offer opposition enough in. any little family
quarrels they may have, to keep her skill
and science up toxoncerl pilch—he's a short
winded chap, and hasn't got the bottom for
a pitched battle. All the unfortunate men
who have been captured and converted into
husbands by these females aro living exam
ples of severe domestic discipline, and of the
extent to which women can rule men when
they once get tbe upper hand—and tbo6e of
the women who are not supplied with a man,
look vicious and tombawky to the last de
gree, and appear to be contemplating a pirat
ical foray into society to seize hußbauds by
force of arms.
After a while Luch Stone led off in the
speech making. She made an oration about
the monster, Man, and about his appropria
ting the properly of frail Woman—she wani
ed the law* altered so that her husband
couldn't sell her shoes and shoes and stock
ings, trade her best bonnet off for brandy and
water, or bet her laoed night-caps on poker
I without giving her a chance in the game—
she said that if she ever got the law into her
hands, she would for the take of the exam
ple, pawn all her buab*nds'a linen and leave
I htm without a dollar to go to a ahirt-tail-or
for a new supply. (Hare she looked at that
unfortunate specimen, and he quivered in
his boots.) She also warned to boss her own
children, for fear bar men would 'prentice
Ihe boys to chimney sweeps, and make the
girls beg cold victuals, in which case he
would wax riotous on high living.
Luce, having now said the same speech
which she has made every year for the past
seven, here rur. out and subsided.
Then Ernestine Rose speechified—Ernes
tine was belligerant and went in for Ihe fight
ing privileges of the monster, Man,—she
wanted lo smoke and drink rum punches—
she wanted lo go to Congress and practice
he art of war—she knew she could fight her
way—she considered the use of pistols, bow
ie knives and bludgeons, elegant accom
plishments for a lady—she said she had been
perfecting herself in Ihe science of the ring,
and was "some" in a rough and tumble fight
—she said she could strike from the shoulder
and gouge her man or bite his nose off in a
manner worthy of the greatest masters—she
invented a peculiar and complicated
Wck in the stomach which she thought would
be considered a masterpiece of genius, and
an irresistable proof of the greatness of Ihe
female mind—she also wanted to learn smo
king, tohaccco chewing, swearing and many
other little elegancies now usurped by the
monster, Man. She hoped soon lo see the
day when a woman con smoke a cigar in
the street without being stared at, and cock
her heels up on Ihe mantel piece in the bar
room without being made the subject of im
pertinent remark. -Tho only thing she really
despaired of was Ihe beard—she would be
willing lo trade off half a dozer, husbands fot
a sizeable pair of whiskers—she had, she
said, faithfully tried her invigorators without
number, but she regretted to sny, the symp
toms were not encouraging—she had made
her face a perfect hirsute hot bed, and for
eight months had perseveringly annointed it
three times a day with a preparation "war
ranted to bring out a beard on a pine log in
six weeks," but the only result thus fa: was
pimples.
Ernestine sat down in agony of grief, and
surveyed her chain in a pocket magnifying
mirror, with an expression of the intensest
despair on her countenance.
Other women spoke, all pitching into the
monster, Man, and claiming for frail Woman
the privilege of voting at general eleotions,
and giving ber s chance to got her bead bro
ken at the primary meetings il she chose to
mix in.
Nothing was said about rocking the cradle, I
or otherwise attending to the wants of the
rising generation, from which I infer that it
is a part of the great Woman's Rights plan
to import from somewhere some new breed
of babies, with a ready-made appetite for pork
and beans, and without any preliminary era-1
ving for milk diet.
I noticed 100 that women were willing to
assume the responsibilities of men except
the work—there were plenty of applicants for
the Presidency and for Congress, but there
was no applicant-for the blacksmith's sledge
hammer and forge, no candidate for the cat
pentei's adze and jack-plane, and not a single
voice claimed the fstmer's pri "ilega of chop
ping cord wood or following the bteaking-up
plougb. Luey would like to be President of
the United States, but she wouldn't dig pota
toes; Lucretia would like to be Minister to
Franor, but sho wouldn't drive a coal carl, or
get an honest living as a street scavenger;
and although Paulina would havo no objec
tion to becoming Secretary of State, she is
the last one in tho world to roil up ber sleeves
and svpport herself by laying stone wall, or
digging cellars, or catrying a mortar hod up
a forty foot ladder. Thoy all wanted to be
, fed on the choicest cuts of beef and mutton,
but not one was willing to water oxen, or to
! feed pigs.
To end up with, they passe® the same old
set of Resolutions, denouncing in tVq strong
est terms the monster, Man, and declaring
that the race might become extinct for all
they would do towards tho keeping up of the
populnion.
I thought of the Fox and Grapes, andques
tioned if that ancient and respectable fable is
not paralleled by the Strong-minded Women
and their Babies, that they haven't got. The
Fox and the Women are alike disdainful,
and the Grapes and the Babies equally im
possible.
I wondered, as I left the Convention, if It
wouldn't be a pleasant thing to see the
Strong-minded Women establishing their
claim to pantaloons by doing men's work.
1 really thought the world would be edified
by the sight of Paulina in a blue 6hirt and
sheeps gray breeches, breaking paving
stones by the day—or Lucy Stone in a car
ter's frock and stogy boots, hauling molas
ses for sixteen cents a load; or Lucretia,
with her sleeves rolled up, and. a leather
apron on, forging wagon-tiros, with Ernes
tine to blow and strike. Hoping yet to be
hold all these gloriouß fruits of tho Women's
Rights movement, I remain, Yours,
Progressively,
Q. P INLANDER DOKSTICKI, P. B.
A GOOD ONE.
We cut the following from the Philadel
phia correspondence of the N. Y. Dispatch.
There is much truth in it and an excellent
anecdote:
Among the distinguished strangers In town
this week, has been Hon. Allison White, a
gentleman extensively known in your city,
whom, at the recent election, tbe Demo
cratic party of Lycoming and Clinton coun
ties chose as their representative to Con
gress. Mr. White's friends will-be pleased
to learn that he is enjoying superlative
health, and ready to carry warfare into the
camp of fanaticism and fogyism whenever
an oppottunity may present itsslf. Mr.
White is emphatically a self-made man,
and like an emetic, cannot be "kept down."
His residence is Lock Haven, Clinton Co.
Ha is not a man oi large wealth, nor wilt he
probably ever be. As wealth invariably ends
in gout and dyspepsia, it is not wonderful
that a man should be satisfied with consid
erably less than a million* Mr. W. believes
the happiest man in this world to be one who
has just wealth sufficient to keep bim in
spirit and just children enough to quicken
his industry. And he is right, for ennui is
as great a bore as want.
By the way, let mo relate a little incident
which will illustrate the difficulties with
which kvrycr* have to contend in mr-kicg
the desired impression upon the jury. It
was on an occasion when Mr. White was
defending a boatman before tho County
Court on a cliorgo of assault and battery
upon an Irishman, in which the evidence
went altogether against his client. After the
witnesses for the prosecation had all been
examined, and the District Attorney had ta
ken his seat, perfectly confident of convict
ing the prisoner, Mr. White called up an
other Irishman, his sole witness. "Your
name, I believe, is Finegan ?" "It is, sir."
"Where do you reside, Mr. Finegan I"
"Across tbe river, air, in a small strate run
nin, forninat ould Nat Hanna'a." "And
which way does the street run ?" "Length
ways, sir." "But which direction, north or
south,.'" "If you aland at the upper end it
runs south sir; if you stand at tbe lower end
it runs north." "Then you mean to say it
runs north and south V "Yes sir, pervidin'
you stband midway between the ends."—
"And how wide is the street, Mr. Finegan 1"
"From side te side, do ye mane?" "Yes,
wffat is the width from side to side?" "Wei!,
as near as I can tell, the distance between
the two fences was percisely equal; they
mightn't be, so I wouldn't like to riek the
virtus of me oath upon it." "Are you a
married men, Mr. Finegen ?" "No, glory
be to god?" "Ab, then 1 suppose yon re
side with some one; who is it?" "With
the man I boord with." "And who is he ?"
"Do ye know the ould blacksmith over agin
the river bank ?" "I think not particularly.".
"Then how the divil can you know who I
boord with?" "Well, never mind, then;
did you hear the testimony of these wit
nesses?" "I did." "Do you know any
thing about the matter yourself?" "I do
not; but I know ibom witnesses iu a gineral
way to be the biggest liars iu all Lock Ha
ven 1"
This ended ibe testimony for tbo defence.
After the District Attorney had addressed the
jury in a strain of magniloquence, altogether
unsuiled to the oocasion, and especially to
the jury, who happened to be a jolly, good
natured set of fellows, Mr. White arose to
spsak for the defence. He appreciated and
fathomed the jury in a moment, and shrewd
ly adapted his remarks to their tastes.
"Gentlemen of the jury," said he, "if
these witnesses could be on
a pile of broken bottles until they toVwbat
they knew, you would have discharged my
olient without a word. But it's as hard to get
the truth out of some witnesses, as to draw a
bob-tailed cat through tlu hung hole of a barrel.
Gentlemen of the——" Mr. White had pro
gressed thus far when the foreman of the
jury, in o spasm ol laughter, told the Court
that they had agreed upon a verdict, and
i were ready to adjourn. It was—Not Guilty!
Had Mr. W. pursued his usual dignified and
scholarly mode of address, nothing would
have saved his client from a six months in
carceration. This occurrence, however, trans
pired many years ago, when the present
Congressman was a legal stripling, and when
twenty dollar fees were less plentiful than
ten limes that amount is now to a first olass
I attorney. It was the beginning through
I which every successful lawyer must pass. *
Troth and Right God and oar Country.
From the Philadelphia Ledger.
A PROFITABLE TELEGRAPH.
There can now be no question that the At
lantic Telegraph will prove one of the most
brilliant and important successes on record.
Tbe stook is about all taken, and will, be
yond doubt, soon be at a premium. Every
feature connected with it has been already
tried and proved, before a step haa been ta
ken, so that it stalls off with success guaran
teed in every possible form and contingency.
In a scientific poiut of view, it haa been test
ed by actual experiment on the land, and
the demonstration made clear that the cur
rent can be sent along a much more-wxtend
ed lino, while it is also known by actual trial
that the isolation oan be maintained as per
fectly under water as above.
In a commercial point of view, it starts
with a guarantee of four per cent, on the
wholo capital stock, from one customer
alone, the British government, which cannot
be reduced bolow 3 per cent, for twenty
five years to come, and not to that, until tho
whole income is six per cent. It is true,
that for the larger sum tho British govern
ment has a right lo about six mossagei per
day, costing $35 apiece. For all over that,
it will have to pay tbe usual rates. It has
also priority over all customers, except the
United Slates government.
England will find this a cheap aad profita
ble bargain for herself, saving much money
in the transportation of troops, &c. FRp7O,-
000 per acQum, she is put in momentary
communication with the whole of the Cans
das, Nova Scotia, Newfoundland and New
Brunswick, and, ahnva bar Minis
ter at Washington. This also will be the
channel of intercourse with her West Indian
possessions, whiob will soon be conneoted
with the telegraph system of Ihe %)lted
States. Thus she will be kept in instant
communication will, all her Governors, her
troops, and her fleets.
The United St ties government will, per
haps, not pay quite so much, and yet, when
the absolute necessity is considered of the
government at Washington being able to
communicate as rapidly as any other power
with its agonts in England, France, Spain,
Germany, in fact, all over Europe, and with
its fleets in tho Mediterranean, there can be
no doubt that, to secure equal advantages
with the British government, a nearly simi
lar amount might well be paid. Other gov
ernments will come next in point of dignity
and precedence, probably, 'hough net in
point of the profit they will yield avowedly.
But Spain muslcommnr.iaaio with Havana,
and ail governments with Washington. Ttm
newspaper press will afford ono of the most
certain and rapidly increasing sources of rev
enue. If the charges are high, it is probably
that, at first, there will be some associated
press arrangement, by which tho markets
and most important outlines of the news will
be transmitted each way. Tbis cannot hold
for long. Mammoth papers like tho London
Times will want their special columns daily
from their own correspondonts. Our own
journals will not be found deficient in this
kind of enterprise, nor should we be surprised
if in six months one line has more business
than it CAN perform, au<] other wires have to
be laid. Besides this, tbe private communi
cations of business men will be immense.
The large houses of New Ypik and London
will want to communicate important transac
tion* daily. Brown, Bowen & Co., and
Brown, Shipley, & Co., Hope, and Roths
child, in faet, all the really large houses,
dealing either in atooks, exchange or* pro
duce, must, and will hare almost daily cor
respondence in cipher.
And not only between N. Y. and London
but from Chicago to Calcutta, and all in be
tween, will make use of this, the sole high
way of lightning and of thought. Paris
and St. Petersburg will have thoir commer
cial announcements to make to New York.
The arrival and departure of almost every
important vessel will by degrees come to bo
notified, and hundreds of inquiries made af
ter every one delayed at sea. Besides com
merce, friendship and family ties will re
quire tbo use of the telegraph for some hours
in each day. Whether parties will ever be
married by telegraph across the A'lantic
may, perhaps, be a question. It is said
such things have happened in this couutry;
bur soon, at leaßt, the day will arrive when
overy other sort of agreement will thus be
made. Fat Alderman ID London will send
to New York and to the West Indies for the
finest turtle of the season, regurdloes of ex
pense, and Dr. Dryasdus will send ia his bid
for some rare old manuscript or volume to
be sold that day in Vienna, or Paris, or Lon
don. The Mayor of New York will be in
viting the Lord Mayor of London to a ban
quet in the Crystal Palace, ten days before
hand, and the Governor of Canada and Lord
Palmerston will be able to sit in their offices,
one in Qcebeo and the other in Downing
street, be put in communication, chat and
touch glasses by telegraph on the Queen's
birth-day, as they drink her Majesty's health.
With all these sources of revenue, (he linn
must be a grand success pecuniarily, if it is
only decently managed. Deep down in the
depths of the ocean, the sparks of lightning
will flash along the wires, and across from
end to end in less than a quarter of a second.
There wili be no night then, for fresh relays
of operators will work it without cessation.
Of oourse tho whole thing will bo conducted
more expensively than if the- Yankees had
hold of it. Such things always are on Brit
tab ground, but it will be done substantially
and reliably well. There will be- no way
stations to keep up, so that tho expenses
ought to be.sraalt, and the profile ibust be
very large. Nor should il be forgotten how
rauoh it will improve tho business and the
value of an equal length of line extending
Irom this city to Newfoundland. If the for
mer be a success, the latter will be doubly
so. New Orleans and Ixtndon will daily
wan! to feel each other's pulse to cotton
and sugar, and the cargoes bought and sold
must be notified ail through.
It is quite possible indeed that one or two
cables may be lost by storms. Rut they will
probably be insured,and should half a dozen
cables prove failures, with suet brilliant
prospects of a dividend, the attempt will be
renewed until successful. We should not be
surprised if in five years, there are at least
as many rival lines competing for the carry
ing trade of facts and thoughts across (he
Atlantio.
CURIOSITIES OF ELECTRICITY.
The peculiarities of that terrible but mys
terious agent, lightning, ore made the subject
of an interesting paper in a recent number of
the British Quarterly Review. Two clouds
are not necessary for the production of light
ning, which is frequently di9chatged from a
solitary clump of vapor, when a connection
can be established with the earth. A French
Academician, named Marcolle, describes a
case where a mere cloudlet about a foot and
a half in diameter, killed a poor woman by
dropping a thunderbolt upon her bead. It
has been shown by Faraday that the electric
fluid contained in a single flash might per
haps be supplied by the decomposition of
one grain of water alone. M. Arago has di
vided the lightning into three sons. The
first icclude those where the discharge ap
pears like long Inminous lines, bent into an
gles and zigzags, and varying complexion
from while to blue, purple or red. This
kind is known as forked lightning, because
it occasionally divides into two branches.—
Charpenlier relates a case where a flash sev
ered into three forks, each of which struck
on points several hundred feet apart. Still
more numerous furcations have been report
ed, for it is said that during a tempest at
Landernsau and St. Pol de Leon, twenty
four churches were struck, though three dis
tinct claps were heard. This was eight
churches apiece for the three explosions!
The seoond class of lightning differs from
(he first in the range of surface over which
the flash is diffused, and is designated as
sheet lightning. Sometimes it simply gilds
the edges of the cloud, whence it leaps; but
at others it floods with a lurid radiance, or
else surface with blushes of a
rosy or violet hne. SL
The thirj class of lightnings are remarka
ble for their eccenTTICTHto, .ml have been
made the subjoct of considerable attention
among meteorologists, many of whom have
denied their right to be treated as legitimate
lightnings, they differ so widely from the or
dinary sort of flashes. They exhibit them
selves as balls or globular lumps of fire—not
momentary apparalions, but meteors which
take their own time, and travel el a remark
able rate. It is this incelenty which gives
them their doubtful character, as an electri
cal bolt is supposed to be one the leading
emblems of velocity. AMftoj* other anec
dotes related of this kind of lightning is the
following incident, wbicfa' occurred to a tai
lor in the rue St. Jacques, Val de Grace,
about the year 1543. M. Bsbinet was com
missioned by the Academy of Sciences to
investigate the facts, and fejTorted substan
tially as follows:
"Afters loud thunderclap, the tailor be
ing finishing his meal saw the chimnoy
bosrd fall down as if beset by a slight gust
of wind, and a of firo, the size o( a
child's head, come out violently into (he
room, at a small height above the floor; the
tailor said il looked like a good sized kitten,
rolled op in a ball, and moving without
showing its paws. The globe came near
his feet, like a young cat that wants to nib
itself against its master's legs; but by mo
ving them asids gently he avoided the con
tact. It appears to have played for several
seconds around his feet, he bending his body
overil and examining it attentively. After
trying some excursions in different direc
tions, it arose vertically to the height of his
head, which he threw back to avoid touch
ing his face. The globe elongating a little,
then steered towards a hole in the chimney
above the mantle-piece, which hole received
a slope-pipe in the winter, bnt was now
pasted over with papor. 'The thunder,' he
said, 'could not see the hole; but neverthe
less the ball went straight to the aperture, re
moving the paper without hurting il, and
made its way into the chimney. Shortly af
terwards, and when he supposed it had time
to reach the top, it made a dreadful explo
sion, which destroyed the upper part of the
chimney and threw the fragments on the
roofs of smaller buildings, which they broke
through. The tailor's lodging wsb on the
third story : the lower ones wore not visited
at all by the thunder-bolt.'"
Lightning, when it meets with an obstruc
tion in its course, frequently shatters the non
conducting ohjeel, disponing end bursting
substances usunder in every direction, as if
they had been charged with gunpowder.-*-
The stone pinnacle of a church iu Cornwall
was siruck by lightning, and one fragment
weighing three hundred pounds was hurled
sixty yards to tho southward, another lour
hundred yards to the north, and • third to
the south-west. In 1838 thejopgallant-mast
of H. M. ship Rodney was literally cut up
into chips by a flash of lightning, the sea be
ing strewn with the fragments as if the car
penters bad been sweeping their shavings
overboard. Sometimes, in striking a tree or
mast, the olectric fluid will slice it into long
shreds or filaments, ao that it will appear like
a huge broom or a bundle of laths. Light
ning bolls will occasionslly dash through re
sisting objects by tearing great openings, as
in a Cornish church, where apertures wero
made in tho solid wall of Iho bolfrey four
teen inches deep, and as if cut out by art. In
other instances Bmall holes are drilled which
are surprising for their perfect circularity of
form. Window panes have been frequently
pierced in this fashion, without effecting the
rest of the glass. In forming these apertures,
a burr or projection is lefi upon Ihe edges.
Juvenile electricians are in the habit of
making holes in cards by passing discharges
through them when a burr or projection will
be observed on both sides of the orifice.—
Sometimes a single discharge will produco
two holes in a card, each puncture marked
by a single burr, one on the upper and the
other on the under part of the card. In some
instances the results aro such as to suggest
that a flash may be split up into several fiery
filaments beforo it strikes an object. In
1777 a weathercock of tinned copper was
hurled by a thunderbolt from the top of a
church in Cremona, and, upon inspection,
was found to be pierced with eighteen holes;
in nine of them the burr was conspicuous
on one side, and in nine it was equally
prominent ON the other, while Ihe slope ol
tho burr was identical in all.
Among the curiosities of lightning are
what is termed "fulgnrities," or tubes, which
the lightning constructs when it falls upon a
sillicious apot, by fusing the sand, They
may be called casts of thunderbolts. In
some hillocks of sand in Cumberland, Eng-1
land, these hollow tubes have been found
from one-fiftieth to two inohes in diameter,
tapering perhaps to a mere point. The en
lire extent of the tubes may be thirty feet,
but they usually separate into numerous
branches, and have the appearance of the
skeleton of an inverted tree. They are lined
with glass as smooth and perfect as if it bad
been made io a glasshouse.
Accident In High Llfo.
[From our Fal-lal Correspondent amongst the
Superior Classes ]
On Tuesday last, a lady of title, whose
name has hitherto been kept a profound se
cret, whilst proceeding up the grand slaij
caso of Sutherland House, to pay tho amia
ble duchess a visit, neglected, we arc sorry
to state, to take the necessary precaution of
walking up sideways. The consequences ol
her recklessness (which, it is to be hoped,
will net as a warning to other ladies) was,
that her dress, which, scion la mode, was
fully twice as broad as it waa long, becamo
so completely wedged in between the ban
isters and the wall, that it was impossible
for her to move either one way or the other.
Her ladyship's position was not one of the
most agreeable in tho world. It was, in fact,
as alarming as it was awkward ; for it was
not a pin's poiat more practicable for her to
advMtice than it was to retreat. There she
remained for 6ome considerable period, per
fectly immoveable in body, though not on
moved in temper; and every minute of that
prolonged agony will probably be recollected
by the fair prisoner cf Crinoline until the last
day of her lifa, when she throws off the
"mortal coil" of hoops and hen-cooped pet
ticoats. Finding, at last, her efforts to re
lease herself from her ridiculous immure
ment perfectly ineffectual, the question nat
urally arose as to what had best to bo done.
Wete the banisters to be sawn awa; ? or,
was a hole to be excavated in tho wall, of a
sufficiently large circle, in which her lady
ship could with safely turn round and slide
off? No; out of respect to the duchess, it
wos resolved by a council of elderly ladies,
held on the landing, that it was better that
the dress should be cut away. Accordingly,
half a dozen young milliners wore fetched
from Madame do Jupon's establishment in
the neighborhood; and with the help of a
large scissors and garden-shears, they set to
work in good earnest, in order to clear the
thoroughfare. During the operation, which
was witnessed in the most breathless silence
byaorowdcf European nobility, that ow
ing to the passing impediment, hud gathered
behind, her ladyship was supported by burnt
feathers being applied under her aqniline
nose, and lumps of sugar dipped in eau-de
cologr.e being dropped into her month. How
ever, owing to the distance caused by the
circumference of her dress, these bad to be
inserted between a pair of tongs (of the
brightest steel,) and it was onlj by extend
ing the tongs at arm's length that the resto
ratives could be introduced near enough to
reach her exhausted person. After severe
labor, and the sacrifioe of many yards of the
most expensive more antique, Madame de
Jupon's assistants (who, if they had been fe
male navigators, could not have worked
with greater zeal or hardihood,) succeeded
in extricating the unfortunate lady from her
distressing dilemma, of solitary confine
ment. The difficulties they encountered in
cutting through lite innumerable strata of
silk, whalebone, guimpure, foundation mus
lin, gause stiffening, calico, flannel, caout
chenc, and crinoline, would, we are told, if
minutely related, send a thrill through the
bosom of the stoutest engineer 1 The lady,
considerably curtailed of her fair proportions,
was carried home, inore-detd than alive, in
a sedan chair. The ruins of the dress were
removed in a cart. The slairoase be
enlarged.— Punch.
The man who works twonty-five hours a
day, it lias been discovered, was a priuter.
He got up an hour beforddaylight.
[Two Dollars per Annua,
NUMBER 49.
Western Annoyances.
Judge J , wlio recently returned (rem
a lour in ihe West, elates an anecdola illus-
Iraling the horrors to which travellers in that
roc ion aro oxposeJ. in his passage to one
of the rivers, he foil in company with a talk
ative lady and gentleman, to whom he was
relating some of hie sufferings from mosqui
toes.
"Husband," said the lady to the gentle
man owning that title, "yoa had better tell
the gentleman about the man we met—in
lows."
The hint was sufficient, and "husband"
proceeded to aay that, in their travels farther
west, thoy had made the acquaintance of a
stalwart, rollicking, western hoesier, one of
the genus who oould "whip his weight in
wild cal9," but who possessod a fund of
quiet humor. On one occasion they stop
ped at a hotel in the interior, r.ot of the most
inviting appearance. They wore shown to
their rooms, tho hoosior at one end, and the
lady and gentleman at the oiher, of a long
ball. About midnight tho drowsy couple
were started by a report of fire-arms, pro
ceeding from life end of the hall oconpied
by their travelling companion.
Both started up in boil and began to spec
ulate npon the probable cause of this on
timely alarm, When they heard a rushing of
feet, and a confusion of voices in the hall—
On going to the door the gentleman found
the whole household, headed by the land
lord, rushing in the direction of the report.
His curiosity led him to join this midnight
procession, and he arrived with the rest, ia
iront of the hoosiet's door. The landlord
tried fhe latch, but found it fast, whereupon,
in a loud voice, he demanded instant ad
mission:
"What do you want ?'• roared the voice
within.
"Want to come in !" replied tho land load.
"Can't do it!" was the response from
within. "It's my room, and I'm in bed;
can't come in."
"Let me in !" shouted the landlord, in a
louder tone, at the same time shaking the
door violently, "or I'll break the door down."
"Hold on!" rojoined the voice within;
"I'll open the door."
The door wns aoon opened, when in rush
ed tho whole party, expecting ta find the
floor covered with blood. What was their
surprise to find everything in its proper
place, and the hnosier calm and unconcern
ed. A revolver waa lying caraleUety up
on the bed.
"Who fired that pistol?" demanded the
landlord.
"I did!" was the reply.
"Why ?" asked the landlord.
The hoosier stepped to the bed, and throw
ing open the covering said:
"Look bore! do you sco that?"
The attention of the party was at once di
rected to the point indicated, and there, over
the whole surface of the sheet, bedbugs were
scampering in every direction, like a flock
of sheep frightened by a dog.
The landlord was chagrined and puzzled,
and looked to his lodger for an explanation.
"These," began the hoosier, straightening
himself up to his full height, and gesticula
ting with his right hand in grandiloquent
alyle; "these are my friends; I have set
tlod an armistice with them, and we ere on
friendly terms; but on the window-eil! there,
just outside, you will find two infernal big
fellers that I couldn't do anything with, and
so I just put a bullet through 'em. But it's
all right now, it's all understood between me
end my friends here, and we shall get along
well enough now."
It is needless to add that the landlord re
tired to his own bed visibly crest fallen,
while the spectators enjoyed a hearty laugh.
DISASTERS OK TUB LAKES.—The present
season has been remarkable for the great
nnmber of marine disasters which have oc
cnried. Tho losses npon our inland seas are
greater in nnmber and fatality than have
ever been known before in the same length
of time. From an imperfect list of .lost ves
sels which lias been published, we see there
has been six steamers, nine propellers, two
tugs, five brigs, and twenty-eight sohooners,
either burned or wrecked. Several have
never been beard from. At least two hun
dred lives bare also been lost.
Hr The man who hates yon is the man
you havo helped. Jones one day refused
to endorse any more for Skidmore. Whet
has been the resnlt ? Why, Skidmore al
lows that Jones is the meanest man in New
York, and has some thoughts of setting firo
to his carriage house, and burning up Mr.
Jones' phaeton and light bays.
tW Owing to the new order of •kirts,
concert rooms do not hold as many people
as they formerly did. In consequence of
this, Thalberg talks of charging women by
the foot. Not a bad idea, provided ho
makes them pay the expense, and not their
husbands.
LT ' I cannot imagine," Baid Alderman
H., " why my whiskers should tuyi gray so
much soonor than the hair of my head."—
"Because you have worked so much more
with your jaws than your brain," observed
a wag.
REST. —Rest is a very fine medicine. Let
your stomachs rest, ye dyspeptics. Let your
brain rest, ye wearied and worried men of
business. You can't? Cast off all superflu
ities of appetite and fashion, and see if yon
can't.
Female help are said to be better paid in
San Francisco than any other class of peo
ple, receiving from $4O to $6O per month.