THE STAR OF THE NORTE
fet Wt Mir Proprietor.]
VOLUME 3.
THV STAR OF TOE NORTH
Is published every Thursday Morning, by
U> W. WEAVER.
OFFICE—Up stairs in the New Brick building
on the south side of Main street, third
. souar beluw Market.
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ADVERTISEMENTS not exceeding one square
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tion. A liberal discount will be made to those
who advertise by the year.
[ORIGINAL.]
TO THE MEMORY OF LUCY.
And has she gone ? My eyes
Behold the record of the tomb
And yet, I cannot think it so.
E'en now, methinka I see her face,
As it appeared in days gone by,
Badiant with smiles.
And hark ! that voice; 'tis hers; —
I bear it now as I have heard
It oft before; —So sweet and fettle
That it seems more like the
Whispering of Angels, than of
Human tongues.
But 'tis all delusion :
She has gono ; Too pure to sojourn here,
Bhe has been taken to the hone
Of her Father, whore now she dwells,
In joys unspeakable.
We mourn but 'tis not right,
For what is loss to us, is gain to her.
LUAP.
SCHOOLCRAFT, Michigan, Sept., 24, 'sl.*
The Choreh and the Tavern.
I TOOK passage for America in the good
ahip Providence, and 1 \nded at New York
in June 1794. I was then in my twenty
second year. When the ship cast off from
the wharf, in "Scotland, and swung around
with the breeze, my father stood upon the
•hore. He waved a last adieu, and exclaim
ed, "Remember the Sabbath day !" I ar- !
rived atNew York on a Saturday, and, the !
next day being tha Sabbath, at nine o'clock, :
A. M., three young men of our company
called at my lodgings.
"Where are you going to-day ?" they in
quired.
"To the church," I replied.
"We have been ten weeks at sea ; our
health requires exercise. Let us walk out
to-day, andge to church next Sabbath,"
they replied.'
Said I, "Yon can go where you please,
but I'll go to church; lite last words I heard
from my father'were, "Remember the Sab-
batb dayand, had I no respect for the
Fourth Commandment, I have not yet for
gotten his last advice."
They went to the fields ;4 went to the
church; *lhey spent forty or fifty cents in the
tavern; I put a penny in the plate, in the
morning, afternoon, and night service ; total
three pence. They continued going into tho
country, and in process of time the landla
dy's daughter, and the landlady's niece
would join their company. Then each
coupte hired a gig at two dollars a day ;
wine, cake, and ice cream on the road, fifty
cents each lime ; dine at Jamaica, one dol
lar each. They got home at eight o'clock,
P. M., half drunk, arid, having heen caught
in a thunder shower, their coats, hats, and
mantles were damaged fifiy per cent. They
arose the next morning at nine o'clock, with
eora heads, sore hearts, muddy boots, and
angry consciences, besides twelve dollars
lighter than when they started. I went to
church, rose at five o'clock in the morning ;
head sound, heart light, bones refreshed,
conscience quiet, and commence the labors
of the week in peace and plenty. Thfiy
were all mechanics—some of them could
earn twelve dollars a week. My business,
that of wrought nail maker, was poor; the
cut nail machines had just gone into opera
tion which cnt down my wages to a sha
ving. With close application, I could only
earn five dollars and fifty cents per week
Never mind, at'the end of the year, my
Sabbath-riding-ship-mates had fine coats,
fine hats, powdered heads, and ruflled
shirts; but I had one hundred hard dollars
piled in the corner of my chest. Having
lived fast, they died early. Nearly forty
winters are past, and forty summers ended,
since the last was laid in the Polte's, or some
other field ; while I, having received from
my Maker a good constitution, (and com
mon sense to take care ot it,) I am as sound
in mind, body, and spirit, as I was on this
day 66 years ago, when first I set my foot on
shore at Governor's wharf, New York. Be
sides, it is a fact, (tor which my family can
roach,) I have been only ono day confined
<o the house by sickness, during all '.hat pe
riod.
Now, Mr. Printer, I dare say you think,
with me, that the church on the Sabbath is
better than the tavern and the fields for the
laboring man.
A New Way to Pop the Question.
"Sally," said a greeu youth, in a venera
ble white hat and grey pants, through which
his legs projected half a foot, perhaps more
TO-"Sally, before we go into this 'ere Muse
up) [fk spa the Enchanted Horse, I want to
as you soiqstbin."
"Well, lchabod, wfist is 111''
"Why, you see this 'are business is gwina
to eost a hull quarter a piece, and I can't af
ford tq spend sp much for nuthin. Now, ef
yoa'llfay you'll have ma, dern'd ef I don't
pay the hull on't myself. 1 will!"
Sally made a non committal reply, which
fohabod interpreted to suit himself, and he
strode up two steps at a time, and paid tbs
whoWWl, |
BLOOMSBURG, COLUMBIA COUNTY, PA., THURSDAY. OCTOBER 9, 1851.
WOMAN'S SPHERE.
The following, from a recent number of
the Ohio Cultivator, by Mrs. FRANCIS D.
GAGE, will interest and encourage our rted
ers. She says :—"I am now at the house of
a friend, eight miles from Cleveland, on a
visit. I wish you could, all of yon, see this
beautiful garden. The nicely graveled
walks—the neat plots of grass, without a
weed—the beautiful.varied evergreens, the
fresh blooming roses and flowers—ah 1 you
would, some of you, I am thinking, be
hoeing up those big docks and Jamestown
weeds, that are spoiling ' your door-yard.
Bnt that was Pot what I was going to talk
about : but thoso cherry-trees, loaded till
their boughs bend with fruit, then lheae rasp
berries, white, yellow, and red, that give
fair promise of luxuriant living by and by;
peach-trees that [the frost of May slipped
over ; and strawberries—such strawberries'!
it would do your eyes good to see thera>
and give your nostrils a wider expansion to 1
smell them, and your mind an enlarged
i view of the comfort you might take, if you
would only set yourselves about it. and have
these delicious berries fresh for your own
table in the early spring-time. It is no ex
aggeration to say that many of them are too
big for a bite, and one that was laid upon
my dish yesterday, made four good mouth-1
fuls, and would have made twenty for those
ladies who eat peas with a fork. It meas
ured five inches in circumference, and was
really the berry that ever blessed my eyes or
ray plate—for I ate it all at one meal.
They say that strawberries Jean be easily
raised, ar.d that any ground that will grow
good beets and lettuce will grow good straw
berries. Leached ashes and rotten wood
make the best ma tures, so I am told here ;
and surely I should believe, for the like of
those berries is not found every day; and,
girls, you can plant them, raise them and
pick them yourselves ; aye, and eat them,
too, if yon will, without stepping out of
your line of business, or compromising your
dignity either. Shall 1 tell you who,* yes I
will , for who should sot your fashions but
the Governor's wife and daughters I Yes.
girls, the Governor's wife and daughters ! Now
I'll bet a big strawberry that you are, some
of you, fancying three stately ladies, dressed
in rich silks, with gloved hands and haughty
air. Fie ! no such thing ! Mrs. WOOD (I
know them only as farmer folk) has her
checked apron on, now getting breakfast,
and her daughters, I'll warrant you, are busy
the oldest one, Mrs. GEORGE Men WIN, it was
that raised and presented me with the big
strawberry. ,
These ladies work in the garden, train up
the vines, weed the beds, tend the boarders,
and around them a fairy land of beauty and
luxury. Why may not you do the same ?
Now, dear girls, you whose homes are
situated away from the bustle and confusion
of the city—by the bubbling brooks, or
upon the borders of the forest, or even you
who live in more favored places, amid the
comforts of wealth and ease, let me ask you
to think sometimes about the wife of your
Governor—think of her as one like unto
yourself—performing all life's holiest duties,
cheerfully. I have heard some of you some
times say that such an one was as 'proud
and stuck up as if she were the Governor's
wife.' Now don't slander tho Governor's
wife any more : go imitate her quiet domes
tic virtues—be faithful to your duties, ere
ate around you an atmosphere of beauty
and usefulness, live plain, simple, truthful
earnest lives. Think less of the trimming
of your dress, more of garniture, of your
heads and hearts, and more of your yards
and gardens. For the sako of those you
love, do this. How can your sous or your
brothers grow up coarse aud unrefined, if
you throw around them a panorama of beau
ty and harmony ? Fill jour gardens and
yards with fruits and shrubbery ; toll the
birds to your bowers, and let them sing their
merry harmonies at the threshhold, and by
and by you may have a home of your own,
each one of you, that will fill the heart of the
sojourner within thy gates with hopeful hap
piness."
MUSICAL CATECHISM-— We find the follow
ing afloat in the papers ;
"What is a slur V
"Almost any remark one singer makes a
bout another."
"What is a rest f"
"Going out of the choir to eat soma re
freshments during sermon time."
"Wh at is called singing 'with an under
standing ?' "
"Marking time on the floor with your
fool."
"What is a staccato movement t"
"Leaving the choir in a huff, because one
is dissatisfied with the lekdei."
"What is a swell!"
"A professor of music who pretends to
know everything about the science, while
he cannot conceal his ignorance."
A COLD FIBS. —One cold night a jolly old
fellow who bad partaken rather freely of flip
at the tavern, started for home in a sleigh,
and on the way was upset aud left by the
side of the road. Some persons passing the
same way a short time-after, discovered the
old fallow to a sitting posture, holding his
feet up to the moou, ejaculating to some in.
visible person "John, pile on the wood, its a
thundering cold night I"
RICH AND POOR. —Every man is rich or
poor, according to the proportion between
bis dpsjres and enjoyments.
From the Albany Dutchman.
Crumbs lor all Kindt oi Chickens.
Philadelphia possesses an atmosphere
most beneficial to quacks; all a gallipot
humbug wants to rear him a palace and
mako a fortune, is to have a large funda
mental principle of brass, and weairh comes
to him there, with the same facility that a
negro gets into a new hoe down, or an Irish
man into the grocery business.
Always observe "the unities," and lime
your conversation by the chrcamstances
which surround you. At the conclusion of
a tragedy, tho curtain always falls to slow
UDU mournful music. Imagine the efleut
that would bo produced should its descent
be ucoompanied with "Old Dan Tucker," or
an iuvilation to certain, "yaller gals" to
come out to-night and go through a series of
certain lepschoriau movements "by the light
of the moon." We say, imagine this and
act accordingly.
"Mrs. Sroithers, where's (hio cup) my
shavel 'tensile ?"
"Your shaving utensils * What do you
want of your shaving utensils at this hour of
the night? Come to bed, you brute, you're
drunk."
"You lie, my love, I'm not (hic-cup)
drunk, but I want to know what come (hic
cup) oT them saven 'tensils what I bought
yesterday morning;(hic-cup ; of that blue
eyed bonnet what wore the white silk young
'onian. Say, where's them shaven 'tensils?
if you don't speak, (hic-cup) I'll take a door,
my love, and burst the club in/"
When we left, Smithers was talking about
the Constitution to the key hole of a bed
room door.
"I say, Bob, what yer doing for a living
now ?" I
"Ira in the scorbutic line—-supporting my
self with a broken leg and a pair of biles."
"Well, how d'ye make em go ?"
"Only tolerable. My friends think I'd do
better with a wooden arm, and I'm most
tempted to try it—biles, you see. don't draw
as they used to do, while the war with Mev
ico has given sore legs such a run, that I'm
be blowed if a man can pick up oue meal a
day with the best one in town. "Please,
sir, give us a cent; I'm deaf, dumb aud
blind."
A late traveller, ix speeking of Egypt, says
ber products consist of wheat, flies, and sorc
ayed children. So much for her crops. In
remarking on her commerce, he observes
that her imports are made up of underdena
Englishmen In pursuit of the pyramids—
while her exports consist of the at me Eng
lishmen "done brown," and floeing from
boggurs ane bed-bubs. Nice country that.
A young gentleman who has just married
a little undersized beauty, says she would
have been taller, but she is made of such
precious materials, that Nature could not af
ford it. How full of sugar the honey-moon
makes one, don't it? A year from now
he'll be swearing about the house, because
his ,! d— fool of a wife has been cleaniug
the cook-stove with bis best shoe-brush.
The more we like people, the less we see
of them. The man who once saved us
from drowning, wc have not seen in a doz
en years or more—while the wretch tha t
pushed us overboard, passes by the house
with as much setni-daily regularity as the
milkman. From some inexplicable reason
or other, the man who injures you never
leaves town—while the good-natured fellow
who goes your bail, is always "in the coun
try"
Rum's a great elevator. Old Hicks says,
night afore last he conldn't pay his board—
the thought made him desparate he drank
half a pint of I!. G. (rot gut,) and in fifteen
minutes he felt as though be owned all the
real estate in town!
In Mississippi, a man always makes his
will before accepting a nomination to run
for Congress, and trusts to a pair ot revolv
ers, bowie knife and leather lungs to whip
his opponent in the race.
The following question i now being de
bated before the Sand Lake Lyceum :
"Which is the meanest man, the wretch
that Meals a blind man's dog, or the fellow
that goes about collecting militia flues ?'
We shall announce the decision in an extra.
The last advice from Tirabucloo, was that
the I'ickaninnies were studying the bowie
knife practice, while the full grown Cougos
were revelling upou roasted missionaries
and elephant oil. Brother Peccavi writes,
that owing to the re-action, and his feeble
health, guesses he'll come home 1
A lato writer says, nobody bears adversity
like a woman. Remove her from the parlor
to a garret, and instead of taking arsenic, as
a man would, she actually becomes more
cheerful. Like a lark, the nearer she ap
proaches Heaven, the more the seems to
sing.
For some complaints, a little good luck is
the best medicine in the world. Low spir
its take their rise not so often from a burst
ing heart as from a .collapsed pocket-book.
We once knew a man to be saved from sui
cide by just raising his wages a shilling a
day.
If "running alter the women" be injuri
ous to health, bow comes it that phyvioians
last so? Please answer by return of mail.
Or WiuTta is fast approaching.
Tnilfc Aid Right—God Aid oir Country.
From the Philadelphia Ledger.
Fontaine BuQrage nut Dram-shops.
At the "Woman's Rights Convention':
lately held at Akron, in Ohio, Mrs. Swiss
helm, editress of the "Pittsburg Saturday
i Visiter," while objecting to several proposi
tions before the Convention, said that wo
men oueht to have the right of voting upon
the question whether dram-shops should be
prohibited or not.
Whatever we may think aboyt the right
or expediency of feminine suffrage in gen
eral, we cannot object to dpi proposition
here presented by Mrs. Swissbfelm. If wo
men be excluded from the polls in all other
cases, we think that they onght to be admit
ted in this. Most objectors to feminine suf
frage seem to regard elections merely with,
reference to ofheere and their salaries; and
with this view of the subject, they gravely
ask why women should be interested in the
choice of a President, a Governor, a Senator
or Representativo in Congress, or a member
of a State Legislature, or the amount of their
pay ? Were these the only points involved,
their objeotion might be well founded. But
Legislatures are elected to make laws, judi
ciaries and executives to interpret, apply
and enforce them, and these laws govern
women, as well ss men. The essence of
freedom is that human beings, of age ren
dering them capable of self-government,
have the right of making the laws by which
they ore to be governed, and of exercising
this right personally or by deputy, at their
discretion. Old-fashioned lawyers, who
have been educated in the doctrine or the
English common law, that, married women
were civilly dead, that is, had no rights, were
political and social nonenties might admit
single women to the elective right, but
would lake for granted that tho earth would
be "swallowed up alive" by the extension
of such privileges to femmes coverles. But
these same objectors must admit that even'
married women have some interest in the '
laws that govern the community, at least so '
far as such laws are designed to keep married I
men in order.
[ Hare married men an interest in the pun
ishment of rape, adultery, alanJer, of as
sault and battery, of burglary ? Women
are the exclusive victims of the first, most
frequently the victim* of tho three next,
and always, either aloue or in common
with men, the victims of the last of these
crimes. Why then should they not have a
voice in legislation for the punishment of
the criminals ana the redrew of the suffer
ers * Have married women- n<W ifitereef in
the Vight of dower* In the distribution of a
deceased husband's property 1 In the cus
tody of children upon divorce ? We think
that they have, and therefore think that they
should have some voice in making the laws
to govern these things. But we shall be
told that they would vole under the control
of thoir husbands, and therefore that the
right in their hands would lead to no other
practical result than giving to each mairied
man the right to vote twice. Even if this
were true, as men, according to Dr. Frank
lin, in marrying, give bond to society for
their good behavior, they can be better
trusted with two votes thin single men. But
as husbands and wires do not always agree
in every thing , we should doubtless have
quite as many independent and intelligent
votes from the latter, as from the former.
And it would confine conventions and nomi
nating committees to the selection of candi
dates of good moral character, as the only
one who could obtain feminina votes; and
this would certainly bo an improvement in
the politics of Pennsylvania, if not of States
farther South.
But the objectors, alarmed by independent
voting among married women, Will raise old
objections about the disturbance of domestic
tranqnUiiy, We believe that the right would
promote domestic tranquility; for as it is
much more frequently disturbed by men
than by women, if the latter were, armed
with legislative power, they would in con
junction with all good husbands, and alt
well disposed single young men, have a ma
jorrty, and make stringent laws against the
disturbers.
But however sound be the objection a
gainst the right of suffrage in married wo
men, even the objectors-must admit that
single womon have some interest in the laws
by which they areto be governed, and there
fore should haVe a voice in making them.
And if single women voted, we doubt not
that the majority of the singly men would
be of their party. The objection about dis
order at the polls, to the terror of women, is
idle ; for their presence would shame or sof
ten the worst into comparative good beha
vior, and improve the behavior of all the
rest.
But if women be excluded from :he polls
in all other cases, we agree with Mrs. Swiss
helm in proposing their admission to vote
upon license laws. Women are the princi
pal sufferers from intemperance. The pov
erty, the misery, the disgrace, the cold, the
hunger, the rags, the desolation, the unkind
neas, the insults, the blows, the murders,
whioh flow in such awful profusion from
the intemperance of husbands, fathers, sons,
brothers, fall with heaviest, most orusbing
force, upou women, mothers,
sisters. Who among are cursed
with an intemperate husband, father, son, or
brother, would vote against a law to restrict
or suppress rum selling ? Not one ! No 1
Not one 1 And bow much crime and mis
ery might hate been prevented, how many
wives would have been saved from prema
ture graves, (6 which they were harried bj
misery or murder, how many children would
have been saved from the alms-houses, or
from growing np to infamy, bow many
wives and children would have been saved
from the anguish of brutal blows, had wo
men been endowed with the right of stiff
rage upon this question m alonc, only twenty
years age ?
Widow's Tactics in Astoria.
In Astoria we saw one day, when there
was quite a crowd at the encampment, sev
eral squaws, all dressed in their best attire.
These were all mora than usually attentive
to their personal appearance. The princi
pal among them was a widow, whose time
of mourning for the death of her husband
had just expired.—Her object was to notify
her friends that she Was ready to receive the
addresses of any one who was in want of a
wife. To give such notification was, I found
on enquiry, a common custom among the
I Chinooks. The widow was of a masculine
make, and what we would call n buxom
dame. She was attended by seven others,
of small stature in comparison, who were
her Maids, and all evidently accompanied
her to do honor the on occasion. Every half
hour they would arrange themselves in a
row, and the widow at their head, affecting
a modest downcast look, would commence
a cbaunt, informing the bystanders that her
period of mourning was out, that she had
forgotten her deceased husband, given her
griel to the winds, and was now ready to
espouso another. This chaent was accom
panied by a small movement ol the feet and
body, which, with the gutteral song and con
sequent excitement of such an exhibition,
caused the fair ones to wax so warm that
tho perspiration rolled down their painted
cheeks; this, with the crimson flush, all
tended to add brilliancy to their dark oyes, as
they wore now and then cast around upon
the multitude of Indians, who seemed all
admiration.—l did not ascertain whether tho
fair one succeeded in winning a second hus
band, but lam satisfied that Irer exertions
were such as ouglit to have obtained her
one.— U. S. Exploring Expedition.
Fashions of the Day.
Our scissors have provided us with two
notes upon the fashiMls of the day; one on
church going, the other on party-making.
The church of course must take the prece
dence :
"Weil, I-aura, give me a short sketch of
the sermon. Where was the text V'
■'Olfy 1 don't know. I-jhavo forgotten—
but wtikld you believe it, Mrs. V. wore that
bonnet of hers. I couldn't keep <ity eyes
off it all the meeting time; and Mies T:
wore a new shawl that must have cost fifty
dollars. I wonder her folks do not see the
folly of such extravagance, and there was
Miss S. with her astonishing
what want of taste some folks exhibit."
"Well, if you've forgotten the sermon,
you have not the audience; but which
preacher did you prefer—this one, or Mr.
A)"
"Oh, Mr. A.; he is so handsome and so
graceful; what an eye l and what a fine set
of teeth he has."
And for a fashionable party, we believe
the following recipe will be found all-suffi
cient:—
"Take all the ladies and gentlemen you
can get, place tbem in a room with a slow
fire, stir them well, have really a piano
forte, a harp, a hmdfill of books,or prints,
put tbem in from tiice to time, when the
mixture begins to Beltle, sweeten it with po
liteness or wit, if you have it—if not, flat
tery will do as well, and is very cheap.
When all have stowed together for two or
three hours, put in one or two turkeys,
some tongues, beef or ham, tails,
; cakes, and sweetmeats, and some bottles of
wino—the more you put in the better, and
the more substantial your rtfnt will be.
"N. B. Fill your room quite full, and let
the scum run off itself.
(•raves in the Sea.
The sea is the largest of cemetries, and
its Blumberers sleep without a monument.
All other graveyards, in other lands, show
some symbol of distinction between the
great and the small, the rich and the poor;
but in that ocean cemetry the king and the
clown, the princo and the peasant, are alike
undistinguished, The same waves roll over
all—the requiem by the minstrelsy of tha
ocean is sung to their honor. Over their re
mains the same storm beats, and the same
sun shines j and there unmarked, the weak (
and the powerful, the plumed and the un
, honored, will sleep, until awakened by the
trump, when the sea will give up its dead,
t thought of sailing over the slumbering,
but devoted Cookraan, who, after his brief
but brilliant career, perished in the President
—•over the laughter-loving Power, who went
down in the same ill-fated vessel, we may
have passed. Iu that cemetry sleeps the
accomplished and pious Fisher; but where
be and thousands of others of the noble
spirits of the earth lie, no one but God
knowest. No marble rises to point out
where there ashes are gathered, or where
the lover of the good and wise can go and
shed the tears of sympathy.—Who can tell
where lie the tens of thousands of Africa's
sons who perished in the 'middle passage!'
Yet the cemetry hath ornaments of Jeho
vah. Never can I forget the days and
nights as I passed over the roblest of the
cemetry without a single human monument.
—Giles.
iy imaoitia est sempiterna.
The Last Appendix to 'Yankee Doodle "
YANKEE DOODLE sent to Town
His goods for exhibition;
Everybody ran him down.
And laughed at his position :
They thought him all the world behind;
A goney, muff, or noodle ; .
Laugh on, good people—never mind-
Says quiet YANKEE DOODLE.
Chorus. —YANKEE DOODLB, &O.
YANKEE DOODLE had a crali
A rather tidy clipper,
And he challenged, while they laughed,
The Britishers to whip her.
Their whole yacht-squadron she oulsped,
And that on their own water;
01 all the lot she weuta-head,
And they carno nowhere arler.
Chorus —YANKEE DOODLE, Sto.
O'er Panama there was a scheme
Long lalk'd of, to pursue a
Short inany thought a dream-
By Lake Nicaragtt.
JOHN BULL discussed the plan on foot,
With slow irresolution,
While YANKEE DOODLE went and put
It into execution
Chorus —YANKEE DOODLE, &C.
A steamer of the COLLINS line,
A YANKEE DOODLE'S nution,
Has also quickest cm the brine
Across the Atlantic Ocean.
And British agents, noways slow
Her merits to discover,
Have been and bought her—jusi to tow
The OUNARD packets over.
Chorus. —YANKEE DOODLE, &C.
Your gunsmiths of llieir skill may crack,
But that again don't mention ;
I guess that COAT'S revolvers whack
Their very first invention.
By YANKEE DOODLE, too, you're beat
Downright in Agriculture,
With his machine tor reaping wheat,
Chaw'il up as by a vuliure.
Chorus —YANKEE DOODLE, See.
You also fancied, in your pride,
Which truly is tarnation,
Them British locks of your'n defied
The rogues of all creation ;
But CIIUDB'S A BHUMAII'S HOBBS has picked
And you must now be viewed all
As having been completely licked
By glorious YANKEE DOODLE.
Chorus. —YANKEE DOODLE, &C. J
A Hypothetical Case,
Some years ago, an awkward chap in
western New-York who obtaided his liveli
hood by forgery, in a blacksraith's shop, hir
cd a horse one day, te carry a load ol
wrought nails to the next a few miles
distant. Through his own awkwardness,
and that of tjie horse, and by
erlions of the4Wo, a very pretjr
was brought about. While 'descending: a
steep hill, the smith gave his animal a few
ektra cuts, thinking to accelerate his speed
in a placo where gravitation seconded the
motion of the whip, but the steed stumbled,
flouudering into the ditch, and kicked—the
bucket. The blacksmith, upon turning ihe
body over, discovered that the anatomical
harmony Of the beast's neck was destroyed,
that the bone was dislocated beyond the
bone-setter's arr, and that in tact, the "hoss"
was dead.
With a rueful countenanoe, he repaired to
the owner of the nag, aud asked what must
be done ?
The reply wns "you must pay for the
horso.''
The blacksmith demurred, wont to consult
a lawyer.
The lawyer happened to he away from
home, but his wife, prone to mischievons
fun, thought she saw in the client, food (or a
little sport, and inviting him to enter the
house, remarked that she sometimes gave
legal advice in her husband's _ absence, and
requested him to state his ca9e.
"Very well," said the blacksmith, sealing
himself, leisurely, "I'll 'spose a case."
"If you please—that will do es well as to
state your own," said the handsome attor
ney.
"Well! yer see it's jest like this. S'posin
you war an old hoss—an' I should drive yer
—drive yer to mill. And s'posin 1 should
cut yer up the leastest mile on the Hank, and
you should rare up and kick up, arid break
the breechiu', and finally, yer should foil in
to the ditch, and break yer cussed neck—
who'd pay for ye ? would I?'' asked tho ex
cited Vulcan, in a voice of thunder. "No !
I'd be hammered into horse shoe nails, and
drove into the devil's cloven foot I'd pay the
fust red cent!"
By this lime the Volunteer counsellor had
retreated to the door of the apartment, and
after informing her client with a oourtesy
that his was a plain case, and he need not
fear an action lor damages, she disappeared,
resolving never again to give legal advice to
her husband's customers.
vr Alexander Gunn was discharged from
the Custom Court at Edinburg, for a mal
practice. The entry in the bcoks stands
thus: — A Gunn was discharged for making a
fasse report.''
>• ■ .
BT "Hiratp, did you ever take an eme
tic V
"Yes, once, and blow me if it didn't
make me sick."
iy There is a modest young lady in N.
York, who views objects with glasses, so
that she may not see them with the naked
eye. . .. _.
tar A gentleman, looking at his watch
after midnight, cried—"lt's to morrow mor
ning I must bid you good-night."
ET Slanderers are like flies that leap over
all raan'a good parts, to light upon his sores.
[Two Dollars per Annaa*
NUMBER 37.
The Science of Dunning,
ft l ss.y, Jacques, this dunning is easily re
duced 10 a science and art. A boot maker
desired mo to collect a bill of twenty dollars
against a clergyman, the Rev. Mr. Truesdell;
you know him Jacques f A man of talent
—great talent, virtue—particular frirnd of
mine. Went to see him—couldn't pay.
Called the next day 0:1 his pretty wile—fr
nest eye in New York—got on the tender
| side of her; she promised to make her hus
band pay—called the next day ; would not
see me. \\ out to church eutly—like going
to church. Truesdell was to preach ; got a
seal in the first |>ew, right straight in front of
the pulpit. Sal quiet through prayers, till
Truesdell got up in the pulpit to preach, then
didn't 1 lean forward and rest iny elbows 011
lire front of the pew, and hold my chih with
. both hands, and didn't I fix my eyea upoH
him—never stirred them once—looked
right straight into the very middle of hie
forehead, like tne Maguelizere do. No
preaching that day. No preaching a' all;
tried to do it, but I kept my eye on him, and
he did not knew what he was driving at.
Everybody said H was the shortest se-raun
they ever heard. People went away—l
went anil thanked him for sOch a good ser
mon. he tutn red anil pale f he an
swered as quiet as a lamb; then I asked in
a whisper, what time he wouhl see me to
morrow 9 o'clock,' says ho, and away I
went. Called this morning, just as the clock
j was striking nine; came to ihe door him
-1 self, looked doleful, as though ho was going
to the buriul service. I put the bill into his
hand, he put the money into mine, put the
I other ou my shoulder, 'God bless you, my
j son,' said be.—'Amen!' cried I. Grent
county, this, fine pretichers—fine preachers."
The Flight ot Time.
In reference tb the flight of time, Dr
Spring once closed a discourse in the follow
ng graphic Language :
"I shall never address this audience a
! g ain - I "ha" "over again meet them *but at
| the bar of God. That interview seems in
deed lar distant. But it will be soon as time
with his eagle wings, shall have finished the
litile remnant of his 6hort career. "After
death, the judgment.' We die; but inter,
wiring ages pass rapidly ovor those who
sleep in the dust. There is no dial plate
there on which to count the hours of time.
No longer is it told days, months, or ) ears;
for the planets which mark these periods are
hidden from tmir sight. Itflight Is no'lon
ger noted by events perceived by the senses;
for the car is deaf and the eye is closed'.
1 The business of life, wliieh wakes at each
morning and Ceases every night goes on a
i bove them, but to them all is silent and un
| seen. The greetings of joy, and the voice
! oi grief, the revolution of empires and tha
j lapse of ages, send no sound within that nar
\ row cell. Generation alter generation are
j brought and laid by their side ; the inscrip
j tion upon their monumental marble tells lira
! centuries that have passed away; but to the
; sleeping dead Ihe long intervals is unobser
! ved.—Like a dream of the night, with the
i quickness of thought, the mind ranges time
and space almost without a limit; there is
but a moment between the hour when the
eye is closed in the grave, when it wakes in
judgment.
tiov. Johnston's Sinking Fundi
It has been ascertained that Gov; John-.
1 ston's sinking fund is situated in his right
breeches pocket, (the left one Contains tha
unsigned bill of last session,) and that in M.
addition to the thirty dollars he received
j travelling fees, and 8131 50 for sixteen
; survives before be was Governor, it has re
i cently been considerah'e increased by
! draughts from the State treasury for salary in
j advance. ~
Steulli.fs.
1 When Whigs talk about Locofoco plun
! ders, they should try not to think of the thir
ty dollars travelling fees, and the 8131 50
! for sixteen days' services, filched from the
; Treasury by Gov. Johnston, without the
shadow of law or equity in bis favor.
W 1 A country clergyman, being opposed
to the Use Of the bass-viol in church service,
was overruled by tbe congregation. Thu
first Sunday it was brought iuto use, he an
nounced the psalm as follows :—"To praise
God, wo will now fiddle the 46th psalm,
second part, short metie I"
B* A lady upon taking up Shelly's nov
el, "The Last Man," threw it down very
suddenly, exclaiming, "The last man! Bless
me! if such a thing ever was to happen,
what would become of the women 1"
t7 He that thinks he sees another'*
estate in a pack of cards, or a box and dice,
and ventures his own in pursuit of it, should
not repine if he finds himself a beggar in
tbe end.
TROUBLE or HATINQ Hannah More said
10 Horace Walpoie "If I wanted to pun
ish an enemy; it should bo by fastening on
him the trouble of constantly hating some
body."
NATURE AND COST OH.—Nature makes us
poor only when we want necessaries, but
custom givos the name of poverty to the
want of superfluities.
RELIGION or A HYPOCRITE —There are two
sides to every thing except the religion of a
hypocrite,, end that is all oalside.