THE STAR OF THE NORTH.
R* W. Weaver Proprietor.]
VOLUME 3.
THE STAB OF THE NORTH
Is published every Thursday Morning, by
R.'W. WEAVER.
OFFICE—Up stairs in the Neu> Brick building
on the south side of Main street, third
square below Market.
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vsrtise by the year.
From the New York lribune.
A FACT.
In his studio at Florence,
Sat an artist, young and fair,
Writing, by the waxen taper,
Words to lighten lonely care.
Suddenly he fell to weeping
Rose and hurried to and fro;
Then, returning to his table,
Thus lie wrote, with soul aglow ;
"Lady, would that I, a spirit,
In the twinkling of an eye,
O'er the wide and weary ocean,
Unto you alone could fly.
Be you waking, be vou sleeping,
Lonely or in social cheer,
I would breathe to you a wonder,
You would smile and weep to hear.
Five the weeks, this flitting moment,
Since wc sat together last.
And your eyes, in love and pity,
On my longing face were cast;
In your warm and soothing fingers
Chilly hands were purely prest,
And 1 lelt in such compassion.
Wretchedness itself were blest.
Long 1 gazed on yon in silence,
Planting deeply ill my heart,
Every look and line of tealure,
With a lover's truest art;
Much I wished 10 pour my feelings
Forth in tears of sweet relief,
But my soul was dark and stifled,
Svuted the bitter fount of griet.
Vainly, until now, my fancy
Strove to see that look again;
Still die misty changing image
Came and went to me in vain ;
Still a hundred other faces
Intervened to vex mine eye,
And my soul, with sorrow sinking,
Would not weep. I know not why.
Bet, to-night, my peri bad wandered
From the duty o! tho day,
And unconsciously was sketching
RamldVti faces, in its plav ;
Suddenly of you I pondered—
Ah. some angel, present then,
Breathed on me an inspiration,
Guided my unwitting pen.
There you were! the half shut eyelids, j
Head inclined and turned aside,
Rounded cheek and hatr so silken.
Bounded lorehcad, high and wide;
There the smile, serene, eternal : j
There the glance that ne'er was cast
Save by you—so melting, earnest—
All, I wept, and wept, at last."
Here lie dropped his pen in wonder,
While a leeling. sweet and new,
Like a sudden light and music,
Thrilled his lonely beinir tnrough ; ;
Aftei wards, a message told him,
She, the loved one, died that night, j
And he knew that then her spirit
Flew to him with love and light.
A SCENE
■A' Tin: PATENT OFFICE.
" This improvement said my loquacious
acquaintance, "will dispense with nine-tenths j
of the wood now used, and will be consider- .
ed in less than two years the wonder of tho |
age."
This remark was made lo me in the Patent j
Office at Washington, by one of those ec i
centric characters whose life had boen made
by piling invention upon invention, all of
which, as far as they were modelled and
patented, were set up to be gazed at by the
loungers who visit that great depositary of
Ameiicar. genius.
My acquaintance, unfortunately had spent I
his whole life for his country, and not one ,
moment for himself. The fruits of his in- j
(ellect, and the labor of his hauds, were
urcry abundant all over the Patent Office, but
at homo his wife was out of flour, and him
self ami children in rags. The truth is, he
.never had a moment's time to bestow upon
his immediate wants, for science had taken
him captive, and had driven him for more
than thirty years urder whip and spur,
through all mysteries of mechanism. He
was a mere originator of complex machines
bnt never carried anything into practical
operation, as that was mere drudgery. In
tV4M>on was poetry to him, but his mind was
.satisfied, and his stimulus vanished, when
jhe fully become convinced that his labors
yvere successful.
Niue tenths of the wood," said 1; "why
ghat's nothing, you can't test your invention
before the w.ood and stove will both be dis
pensed with. This is a great age, sir, in
mechanics, Twenty, thirty, forty years ago
were great ages too, or were then so called.
Jhe greatness of a people in any department
pf science is determined by the advance of
preceding generations, not by the perfection
of the age itself, for we do not know what
the point or perteption in science is, or where
or when it may be found. Old Ben Frank
lin, great as he was in his day, would, if
be should suddenly appear among its, be a
mere boy in his science."
My acquaintance, however, who had by
this time gtown warm upon bis favorite sub
ject, opened upon me with his argument, in
which he attempted to show that science had
nearly reached perfection, that first princi-
BLOOMSBURG, COLUMBIA COUNTYm*., THURSDAY, APRIL 10, 1851.
pies were all discovered, and that every ap
plication ol them that were or could be use -
ful to mankind, were already made ; in line
that the intellect of the present generation
would, in all probability use up all the ma.
terial which nature has provided for it to
feed upon; and scientific truths would be
rolled up like an old .blanket, marked "de
monstrated" and filed away for the inspeo :
tion of fools that might follow after.
While, listentening to this harangue, the
walls around me began to expand wider and
the oeiling above raised to an enormous
I height, while through open doors or passages
I saw room after room groaning with thous
ands of models, until it appeared as though
1 were in a wilderness of miniature ma
chinery. Very soon a very perl little gentle
man, with a quick blaok eye, and a 'pussy'
body arrajed in the queerest costume I ever
saw, came bustling up to me, and asked me '
for my tickets, I involuntarily thrust ray band ;
into the depth ol my breeches pocket, and '
pulling out a card, delivered it to him. After'
looking at the card and then at me, and then
at the card again, he burst out ioto a loud
guffaw, that made the old Patent Office
ring. " Why sir," said he, " this is no
ticket. It is the business card of one John
Smith advertising a patent dog churn of
which he here says he is the real inventor,
and it bears da'.e in the year 1850—nearly
two hunded years ago ! The churn may be
found in the room marked " Inventions of
1850/' but the man John Smith we liav'nt
got. I don't much thiuk he is round above
ground just at this time," said the little man,
chuckling^
" But," said I, who arc you, if I am not
John Smith 1" Were you not appointed by
Fillmore, Secretary of the Interior and did I
not put a word in his ear favorable to you?" 1
" Fillmore I a Secretary of the Interior ?" I
exclaimed he; '' I appointed by Fillmore ! {
why my dear sir I was appointed only two
years ago—not two hundred ! —Chief of the
Great Central Department, as the office is
now called."
While we were talking. Franklin, Adarr.s,
Jefferson and Fulton, walked in and took
seats, I knew Uncle Ben the moment I cast
my eyes upon him. He was dressed in
good old '76 style : —shoe buckles, breeches,
que and double chin, that trsnquil counten
ance just touched, without being destroyed,
by comedy—were all there. Adatns and
Jeflerson I had before seen, and they were
a little more moderu in dress, but they both
looked care worn. Fulton sat apart, and
eyed the other three as though he had seen
them somewhere, but yet could not call
'.hem by name.
The rather unexpected arrival of these
gentlemen broke up the comment of my
bustling interrogater, and one of those pauses
occured which frequently do, upon the ap
pearance of strangers. Uncle Ben asked
Jefferson i? he would not like to more uj> to
the fire and warm his feel ? " Fire?" said I,
" fire 1 Why Uncle, there is no fire places
now a days, stoves and hot air furnaces are
all the go. The building is warmed by a
great furnace, and two* miles of pipe that
connects the heat to every room in it." "Not
by a long way!'"—said my bustling friend—
" not by a long way, Mr. John Smith. This
tiumpery is all piled away among the inven
tions of the years that were. These things
belong to the age of your dog chum- Why
gentleman," continued he, " have you never
heard of the Great Southern Hot Ait Compa
ny, chartered in 1860, whose business it is
to furnish warm air from the South to persons
at the North, price to families three dollars a
year, all done by a gigantic under groi'nd
tunnel, and branches worked at the other
eud by an air pump! Have ycu never
heard of this gentleman! Here we get the
natural heat of the South, warmed by the
sun ; none of stinking coal and wood gasses
to corrupt and destroy it. And then the
principle of reciprocity is kept up; for we
send back our cold air in the same ; and so
we keep up an equilibrium of the Union.
Why, gentlemen, those stoves require con
s'ant care. As often as every week it was
| necessary to replenish them with wood or
j coal. No!—no!—those improvements be-
I long to the dark ages."
" Bless me!" exclaimed Uncle Ben. "Im
; possible!" repeated Fulton. And so you
I don't use the old Franklin stove any more?"
i said Uncle Ben. " Perhaps he continued , a
quiet smile playing over his face, as if he
had intended a comical shot, "perhaps you
don't use lightning now a-days either, and
my-lightning rods of course belong to the
dark ages too!"
"We have the lightning, and liso it too,
but only ono rod, built by the State, near its
ceuire, which is so colossal and powerful
that it protects 6very thing around it." And
then the little fellow rattled on about the its*
of lightning: how it wrote all over the world
thu English language, until 1 verily believe
that Uncle Ben, Fulton, and all set him
down as the most unscrupulous liar that they
had ever meth with.- " 1 think," said Uncle
Ben, " that if I could go to Boston, I could
convince myself of the truth of your asser
tions, but as my time is very limited, I can
not."
" Send you there in five minutes by the
watch !" answered the little man, "or if
that's too soon in twenty-four hours. It re
quires powerful lungs to go by balloon—
time five minutes, departure every half hour.
The magnetic railway train will take you
through in four hours." " What!" said
Uncle Ben, " is the old stage company en
tirely broken up?" " Don't know what you
mean by stages," said the little man, " but
I will look for that word in the big diction
ary." "Go by steamboat too everlasting
slow—not over twenty five miles an hour
well enough for freight, but passengers can
not endue them; they go laboring and
splashing along along at a snail's pace, and
they are epough to weat out any man's pa
tierce. Yet the*steamboat was the greatest
stride ever made at any one time in the way
l of locomoii'C"; and was very creditable to
Fulton and the age in w?*®' l ved -'
"That's admitting something," o".™* 001
Fulton, who sat like a statute, watching' the
little man's volubility. " Men and their
works," continued Fulton, " must be judged
by the period in which they lived. Each
improvement, as it succeeds the last, is aided
by its predecessor, and altogether they make
out the chain of scienoe." " But, said Uncle
Ben, all this talk don't get me on my way to
Boston. That is my birth place. I was there
for the last time in 1763, and you know that
according to the provisions of my will, there
is more than four million pounds sterling of
my money, which has by this lime been
disposed of by the State somehow. Uncle
Ben was always a shrewd fellow ir. the way
of dollars and ceuts, and I could see he was
very anxious about that money. " Oho !"
said the little man, " so you are Ben Frank
lin, and you are the old gentleman who left
legacy. We've got a portrait of you up
stairs, more than two hundred years old,
and it does look something like you. Glad
to see you ! You said something in your
lifetime about immersing yourself in a cask
of madeira wine with a few friends, and
coming to the world in a hundred years
again. These are your.friends, I suppose 1"
"These gentlemen," replied Uncle Ben,
" are John Adams and Thomas Jefferson,
signers of the Declaration of Independence,*>
"The other gentlemen, continued I, "is
Robert Fulton, whom you have spoken ot.''
" Well, I declare !" ejaculated the little man
"this is a meeting! But about that legacy,
Uncle Ben, of yours! two millions has gone
to build the Gutta Percha Magnetic Tele
graph line, connecting Boston with London
a rut Paris, two of the largest cities in the !
eastern Republic of Europe. "Guttaper
cha! magnetic telegraph I— Republic of Eu
rope !" repeated all of them. " All built
under water, and sustained by buoys," con
tinued the little man, and it works to a
charm—plan up stairs in room 204—and can
be seen in a moment, and as I told ycu be
fore, it wtites the English language as fast
as my deputy. Republic of Europe! ex
claimed Jefferson again. " Yes sir," said
the little man, " for more than a centuiy.
No more thrones ; 110 more rulers by divine
right; no more governments sustained by
powder and ball; no lords or nobles; man is
man, not merely oue of a class ol men, but
individually man, with rights as perfect and
powers as great as any other man. The
principles, Jefferson, which you did not,
create, but only asserted, hare prostrated j
every arbitrary power on the face of the
globe. Even the Jews, since their return to j
Jerusalem, have organized a republican
form of government, and have just elected
Mr. Noah, President." " Well" thinks Ito
myself, " that can't be Mordecai M. Nouh
anyhow, for politics must have used up his
constitution before this." But the little man,
chattered away, and declared that Europe
was divided into two republics, the Eastern
and the Western; that Constantinople was
the capital of the Western; that Asia and
Africa wero also republics, until the three
signers of the Declaration, perfectly wrought
up in a phrenzy of joy, rose from their seats
took off their hats, and swinging them
around, gave " Three cheers for '76 and the
old Army of the Revolution ! —and I verily
believe Uncle Ben forgot all about going to
Boston, for he did not allude to it any more
in my presence.
" Great changes these!" continued the
little man, "from your days. But you must
not think, gentlemen, that we have forgotten
you while we have improved in wisdom
and strength. Look here gentlemen," and
he motioned us away, and leading on, he
conducted us to an observatory on tho lop of
the building. Such a prospect I never be
fore beheld. Away, around on every side
stretched a mighty city, whose limits the
eye could not reach. Towers, temples,
spires and masts, until they were lost in the
distant haze. Canals traversed every street,
and boats of merchandise were loading and
unloading their freight. Steam carriages
were puffing along the roads that ran by the
canal, some filled with pleasure parties, and
some laden with goods. Turning my eye to
an elevation, I saw fifty-six gigantic monu
ments, .whose peaks were lost in the sky,
ranged in a line alike in form aud sculpture.
'• These," said the little man, " were erec
ted to the Signers of the Declaration of In
dependence," and taking out his telescope,
he handed it to Uncle Ben, who read aloud
among the inscriptions the names, FRANKLIN,
JEFFERSON, ADAMS 1
" But let us know what this is called?"
inquired Jefferson. " Tnis, sir, is called
Columbiana ; it lies on the west bank of the
Mississippi, population five millions, acoor"
ding to the last census." " But what sup
ports it?" "Supports ill the great East
Trade. That vessel down there is dire®'
from Canton, by ship canal aeross the Isth
mus. All Europe is secondafy to us now.
No doubling capes as was done in your day
Yonder stands the Capital, and the whole
North American continent is annually rep
resented there. The city of San Francisco
alone sends forty four members. There,"
continued he, pointing his finger, " that bal
loon rising slowly in the sky, has just started
for that place, and the passengers will lake
Troth art Rlffht—CM aid gw-Ctwtfry.
their dinners there to-morrow."
Jefferson asked the little man "whether
the Federalists or Democrats were in power!"
and I saw that Adams waked up when he
heard the question. Don't know any such
division, replied.he. The great measure of
the day, upon which parties are divided, is
the purchase ot the South American conti
nent at five hundred million of dollars. I
go for it; and before another year the bar
gain will be consumated. We tiusf have
,ijwia territory—we havn't got half enough.
Extern pr tern';:? ntion di ß"'y and
importance. The old thirteen Statß# of . F°" r
day was a mere cabbage-patch, and shod,
have been consolidated into one State. Ten
or twenty days sail ran you plump into a
hostile port, and then you bad a demand for
duty. Beside, conflicting interest always
brew up difficulties, and then come treaties,
and finally war, and then debt and at last
oppressive taxation. Anationshould own
all the territory that jbiliftf* f Fho ocean is
the only natural boundary for a- people."
Thinks I, you hare been a politician in your
day, and I'll just engage you to correspond
with a certain New York editor who shall be
nameless, you strike of! the doctrine boldly-
Uncle Ben told the little man after he
closed, that a nation might "get so very
ripe as to become a little rotten, and if he
had no objection he would present him with
the 'Sayings of Poor Richard.' " And suit
ing the action to the word, he pushed his
hand into his breeches pocket, and pulled
out an almanac printed at Philadelphia, in
1732, and bowing handed it to him. The
little man thanked him, end promised to
deposit it in the Museum as a curious piece
of antiquity.
Getting somewhat anxious for a smoke I
drew foith a cigar and 'locnfoco,' and rubbed
tbe latter across my boot, which flashed out
it's light in Uncle Ben's face. 'That is nice,
exclaimed be; 'rather an improvement on
the old siring, wheel and tinder plan.' 'Sim
ple too, isn't it!' said I; 'and yet all the
science of your day didn't detect it.' Just
then I gave a puff which made Uncle Ben
sneeze ; and he broke out iu a tirade against
tobacco, that would read well. But I told
him there wa* no use; men had smoked
aud chewea the weed—would smoke and
chew it, economy or no economy, health or
no health, filth or no fiillh; and that in all
probability the last remnant of the great
American Republic, for succeeding nations
to gaze at, would be a plug of tobacco; for
1 sincerely believed that a plug of tobacco
would outlive the government itself.
The little man proposed reluming inio the
Patent Office, and exhibiting to us in detail
the models of art there deposited. But 1
cannot weary the reader with what I there
saw. The fruits of every year since the or
ganization of the department, were divided
into rooms, and indicated on the door by an
inscription. There were thousands of im
provements, in every branch of science,
many of which were so simple, that I
thought myself a fool that 1 did not discover
them before. Principles were applied, the
operation of which I now recollected to have
often seen, but without a thought of their
practical utility. I came to the conclusion
that accident was the parent of more that I
saw than design; 'for how,' reasoned I, 'is
it possible that these pieces of machinery
could otherwise have escaped the great men
who have lived and died in ignorance of
them !'
By this time we were quite fatigued ar.d
Uncle Ben complained a little ot the 'stone,'
which he said he was subject to. The little
man gave him some 'Elixir ol Life,' as he
called it, being as he said the, 'an extract of
the nutritious portion of meals and vegeta
bles, purged from their grossness as found
in their natural state,' and while we were
sipping it, he launched forth upon its great
benefit to mankind; the money that used to
be expended in cookery and Iran sporlation—
millions upon millions, the- great economy
in time, formerly squandered in eating, eto.,
etc; aud he wound up with a eulogy by pre
senting each of us with a bottle, which I
carefully put away in ray pocket.
Adams then rose up and saiif he must
leave and Jeffei son said 'I have a word to
say on my departure. There is one thing of
more yalue than all I have seen, for it is the
father of all; you should reverence it next
to the CREATOR of the universe. Overlook it
not in prosyerity, nor despair of it in adversi
ty. It is the Union. Better perish with thi
Union, than survive its ruin /' And in a mo
ment Uncle 8911, Fulton, Adams, Jefferson,
the little man, the apartments, wheels and
machinery begun to rock,'and heave and
fade, and finally dissolve and suddenly I
1 awoke ! It was a dream!—and there I sit,
my tormentor affirming that his stove was
perfection, that it would save thtee-founhs
of the wood, etc., eto., until out of patience,
I pronounced him blockhead, gave bim a
kick, put on my hat and departed.—Knick
erbocker.
Gf Man may err and err and be forgiven ;
but poor woman, with all his temptations
and but half his strength, is placed beyond
the pale of earthly salvation, if she but once
be tempted into crime. Tainr just.
How TO FLCASB YOUR FRICNDS. — Go tO Csl
i forma—stay there twenty years—work hard
—get money—save it—come homo—bring
with you a load of wealth, and diseased
lungs—visit your friends—make a will
provide for them all— then die—what a pru
dent, generous, kind-hearted soul you will
be
Stamp Speech of Ethan Spike, on the Dai>
Her of a Dissolution ot the Union.
The "honorable gentleman" having moun
ted the rostrum, plunged into his subject in
the following eloquent style, viz : .
"Thunder and guns! whar are wa 1 .This
area day for the eitizens.of Hornby, and if
I want too modest, its a day and a half for
all creation—including the rest of mankind,
and the people gineralty ! The world, feller
citizens, is a looking at us, an on the heter
ogenous exertions of this here society hu
man liberty depends, an hangs like a bur.
dock to to boy's trowsis. Are we up to the
crop ? Dus every indervidooal feel the res
! r, onsio". s . ,w the great criesis bearln' on
him like a rial roeic oil * todo's back t Dus
all feef like a young HakealaniunJ ,aa< V 10
take hold and choke the orrygone stables as
in wormin' in to skweeza the daylights out 0! j
our infant liberties! I answer— wc it I Let
the hot-in-lates of the hull airth hear and
tremble !
Feller citerzens, we have come up here—
every man prepared to take his life in his
trowsis pocket—to preserve the Union—that
blessed Union—fit for, bled for, and died for,
by our reverend posterity on the bloody fields |
of Buenny Vistey, Yorklown, Madawasky, ;
and Waterlieu. This here glorious Union,
feller citerzens, is threatened within an inch
of its life. By whom ! Why, by a set of ,
ons&rcumsized, mean, nasty critters, who
can't depreciste this blessed purlaydium that
provides every man a fig tree—ur.dor which j
we sot an our fathers has sot, an no one darst!
molest or skeer us.
Feller citerzens : I'm for the Union ! Yes !
sir ! An though the hull world agin me, :
though the devil jined in with the aberlish- j
ionists. yet, as Webster said in his Newbur
yport letter— Pue sat am, santa rairittima histo
ra saere lex taxlionis, ecco signun et broada xy—
though pelican towered on ossy, I'd file till i
all was bl^v! [Hear! hear! and stompin ]
Feller citerzens: The pint we've met
here to consider is: Shall the Union be pre*
setred—shall the star sprinkled banner still
flount and Aouucu in the salewbriety of the
onmitigated space of either—shall the Amer
ican eagle—God bless him !—[atom pin by
the men, and sobbin and sniffin by the wiin
men,] —shall '.he American eagle continue
to soar aloft an—an do as he darn pleases ?
Or shall he be just moved up and broke in
like a worn aout syder berril—your flag torn
and slit like little Kphe Libby's trowsis over
there by the winder—and the gloriu* fowl
cf liberty plucked and picked like a thanks,
given turkey ? Saints, ministers, elders, and
<tceii, forbid the latter 1 Whar—l say,
whar will Hornby be found when this great
eatlle army gideon which is comin on is fit 1
Will she be skulkin and slinkin about like a
woodchuck in a later field, or tow the mark
like ft rai iii liie corheT } hat are your
Libbeys, yer Peabodys, yer Wiggins, and
yer Lyers, names illustrious in the Madawas
ky war? True, the fisrt run away afore he
got thar, and (other didn't go, but then, ef
wuel had come to wust, that's no knowin
what they might have done for their country.
Sperits of 46! even from that all the way up
to this—from the hyperbolical inflewence of
ajaycent surcummumbincy—ye behole this
criesis !—smile on yer predecessors who are
about to jine issoo with ungodly aberlishion
ists and cussed niggers for the preservation
of the Union, parladyums, an what not!
Feller citerzens, I'm in arnist. A criesis
is riz ! An it is waken up the free onterri
fied suvrins of there ere still more suverner
states to the reskew I
Thar's a muslerin' of nations,
A wakin' of snakes—
The devil's broke out again,
And all creation shakes.
Yes, everything is wakiu' up, and takin'
off it? coat,—Even the sleepy lion Daniel
Webster, is a rousin' and shakin'his tail and
mane, prepared to file for hewman rites and
democratic usages. "The great confounder
of the constitution,,' as he is justly termed,
in his last letter to me, very truly and gassac
ally saye: "Ethan," says he, pen up your
turkey, counteract my powers—the hull
continent, howevet bounded is mine!" "But
he continers, "things haint rite ; in the lan
guage of Julyus Seizer to the popo of Rome :
"Abinito lumjum zpirt ipere I" which means
somethin' is broke and everythin' is out of
jint." Finally he concludes in this touchin'
way—"My dear Spike," says he,'"l've un
dertook the job of fixin' and palchin' the
Union; I luk to Hornby to lay holt and sus
tain 1" [Hear, hear—hooray !] and then he
adds this postcript—N B-
P. S.—Nobody, fur as I've hoern, say* a
word agin the fewgitive slave law, least
ways, nobody whose opinion is worth a
cuss!
Neow, feller citerzens, thar's a good dele
to be did 1 In the name of all that's———
[here the elerkent speaker was interrupted
by somebody calliri' aout to see what was to
be did—and what he'd been abaout ?] Now,
feller citerzens in the talkin' name of all
that's sacret un dimeoratic, shall we be found
waitin't No, teller citorzetis, no! no 1 From
your borders, from the remorseless precipita
tions of Bethel hill un the dark and inskrew.
table caravans of Lilly pond to the ramified
oesilation of Dan Wiggin's caow pastor,
oomes up a thunderin' patryotic, double
breasted no! On, then! onerd! Let the
watchword be—Webster, hewman rites, and
d n a nigger!
Feller citerzer.s ! I'v done. My speech is
afore you. 1 hope it's done you good, for
it's laid as heavy on my stomach for the las?
two days as a cold biled tater.
He keeps his road well enough who
geta rid of bad company.
THE PAUPER'S BURIAL. -
Bury him there-
No matter where I
Hustle him out of the way;
Trouble enough
We have with such stuff,
Taxes and money to pay.
Bury him there-
No matter where !
Oil' in some corner at best !
There is no need ol stones
Above his old bones-
Nobody 'll ask where they rest.
Bury him there—
No matter where!
None by his death are bereft;
Stopping to pray J
Shovel away !
We still have enough of them left.
In 1 his Age.
The watchman presented George t. Muni
. ley to the Mayor, with the information that
' he had formed the acqiiain'ance of Master
George last night, while the young gentle
man was endeavoring to introduce himself,
nformally, to some yoj rig ladies on Walnut
street, who appeared to be very much alar
med at his advances. Master G. is probably
l about fourteen years of age; but his dress,
air and manners, and especially a certain
rakish swagger which he seems to alTect,
would be more becoming for a person ten or
fifteen years older.
Mayor. Do you live with your parents,
George ?
Georgi. No, sir—[with empbas.] I board
in Green street, Northern Liberties.
Mayor. Are you learning a trade ?
George No, sir; I have learned my trade,
long ago.
Mayor. Long ago, eh ? Pray, what trade
is it?
George. Sir, lam a vocalist.
Mayor. Hare you a father or mother liv
ing? •
George. I believe I hare a mother, sir,
somewhere over in Soulhwark ; but my pro
fessional engagements are so numerous that
I never had time to inquire after her.
Mayor. Of what nature are those "profes
sional engagements ?"'
George. I sing comic and sentimental
songs (or the entertainment of the company
at different hotels ; and, occasionally, when
suitable inducemeuts are offered, I assist at
minor concerts.
Mayor. Do you manage your own busi
ness and money affairs ?
George. Certainly sir. A man in my cir
cumstances cannot afford to keep a treasurer
or a bunM agent.
Mayor. A man 1 Do tell me, what is your
age ?
Georgi. I was fourteen, sir, last August.
Mayor. Have you never understood that
it requires a growth of twenty-one years to
make a man, iu this country ?
George. Oli, that is on the eld system, sir.
All that sort of prejudice was exploded long
ago. The rising generation have introduced
a new rule. Manhood now depends on de
velnpement. Some are more of the man at
twelve years old than others are at fire and
thirty. There's my friend, John Peters; he's
about my age, and he was engaged to be
married three years ago !
Mayor. Take the boy down, and endeav
or to find his mother.— Pcnmylvunian.
• Negro Banking.
Cato, (an old negro who was noted for his
cunning,) had succeeded in making his fel
low servants in the neighborhood believe
that banking was a very profitable business.
So they concluded that they would throw all
their change together and start a bank, to
whom all the sixpences of the darkies in
the neighborhood were duly paid over. And
now, said Cato, wheneber nigga borrow six
pence out ob dis bank to buy bach ah, lie
got to come baCk in tree weeks and pay two
sixpence, and in dis way you see eb'ry six
pence double till arter awhile all dese nig
gahs be as rich as old massa G. And upon
this principle the bank went into operation,
old Cato always taking care that every dark
ey should fork over according to bank rules.
But in tlie course of time some of the stock
holders thought they 'smell a rat,' and called
on Cato to withdraw their capital from the
bank, when the following conversation took
place between Cato and Jock :
Jack. —Well, Cato we want to draw our
money from de bank and retire frrm dis bu
siness.
Cato.— Did you heah de news ?
Jack.— No, what dat Cato ?
Cato. —Why de bank broke last night.
Jack.—Who care what de bank do ? I tel'
you I want iny shah ob de money.
Cato. —Well, but 1 tel you dat de bank
broke.
Jack.—l not talken bout dat. I say, whth
de money?
Cato.— Why, you cuss'd fool, don't you
know dat when de bank break de money all
gone sartin ?
Jack. —Well, but whah de debbil de mon
ey gone to ?
Cato.— Dat's more den dis r.igga know. All
he know bout dis is, dat when white folks'
bank break de money always lost, and nigah
bank no better dan whife folks..
Jock —Well, whenebah die nigga gage in
bankin' agin, he hope de debbil git him fuse.
AH EXULT MARRIAGE —A youth, "eighty'"
years of age, was msrried in Jeffersonville,
Ind., on Wednesday last, to a young lady in
her sweet thirtieth year.
tW Better to Uvg well than long.
[Two Dollars per Am
NUMBER 11.
From the Albany Dutchman.
Crumbs for All Kinds of Chickens.
This world is singularly given to change.
Even the truth of to-day is not the truth of
yesterday. In chemistry, the facts of Stsehl
wer.e overturned by the newer faets of La
voisier, while Lovoisier's self-evident creed
was knocked into a cocked bat by the later,
truths of Christianity once consisted in viai
ting the sick, and preaching without salary.
At the present time, they consist in visiting
Europe, and looking out for "number one."
G- nius will show itself even in vices.—
Some men, for instanc will actually squirt
tobacco juice with a grace ; while there are
others who will sfl toss off a whiskey punch
a9to make it appear like airaccomplisliment.
To excel, even in an impropriety, requires
talent far beyond the average. We hare
seen blackguards whose profanity exhibited
as much plot and genius, as Bulwer has dis
played in the Lady of Lyons.
Rover says a man should take measure for
a fortune, before his merits have bad time
to raise him up enemies. The very moment
that your friends discover that vou are wor
thy of "bread," that moment they commence
pelting you with "stones."
If you would go down to posterity, you
must become either famous or infamous.—
Benedict Arnold will live as long in history
as George Washington. Men who are only
moderately bad or passably good, never get
into "the papers" but once, and that's when
they die.
How frost adds to the loohs of the girls !
Don't it! We met one in Broadway yester
day, with such a pair of strawberry-colored
cheeks on, that if the chisel of Praxiteles
had seen her, it would havo become love
sick and lost its temper.
Bulwer says, that for a person to enjoy
this world, lie should have lots of health—
plenty of spirits—a good heart—a congenial
temper—enlightened opinions—a fair share
of humbug, and plenty of money.—To which
Sir Frederick Blount adds—a "pwaper deg
wee of pwudenee."
Graves says that the principal products of
Great Britain are east winds, fogs, rliehma
tism, pulmonary complaints and taxes. Her
imports, heays, are logwood for her Port
wine drinkers, and chicory for the lovers of
"old Mocha."
Dobbs says, that to start into the Milk bu
siness requires less capital than most peoplo
imagine. Ho was in for it a year, he saya,
and all the money he spent was laid out for
a barrel of chalk and a new pump handle.
A witness at the poliee court, the other
day, being asked how long he had known
Harvey K——, replied "ever since he turned
rascal," As litis was going back farther
than any other witness, the trslimony was
considered decisive.
Mulloney says that the first thing an Irish
man's children learn in America, is to forget
their parents. Out ol a family of fourteen,
he says, he hus only one boy, (and he can't
fight,) who ever condescends to call him any
thing but a d furrener, from Michaelmas
to January.
The greatest pleasure in this world con
sists in making oilier people envious' Who
the deuce would care for riches, if he could
not make other people talk about them .'—
Miss Fantadling wears a ftOO dollar sbawl,
not because it adds to either Bar comfort or
contentment, but solely because Mrs. Grun.
dy will hate her for it- Were there but one
woman in the world, alio would dress in flan
nel spencers am) wear thick boots.
"William IlufnS," poetry lias been recei
ved. In regard to li'M inquiry as to whether
we intend to insert it or not?—we would re
ply—yes—the first time we catch the stove
door open
Them is a majesty about death that com
mands respect in every station. We care
not how ragged a little boy, let liirn lose his
father, and all the other little boys in the
neighborhood will stand in awu of him for a
week.
GOT IT BAB.—A poet out west, in speak
ing of his "heart's ease, 1 ' says her lover is
equal to seven heavens ; to obtain which, he
would swim through a dozen hells. Before
otir friend sets out, we hope he will get his
muslin insujgd against fire.
A friend writing lrom Tillytudlum says
that the sickness is raging in his vioity like
a mad ball. Four of Mr. Sliggins' children
are down with the ' harping cough," while
tho other eight have got the cough without
the "hoopbut as the old man is a cooper,
be says even they stand a good chance of ,
getting it—if uo where else, across the cordu
roys..
Mr. Butler is an opponent ol free schools
from "principle." He goes "agin edicatiou"
not because of its unconstitutionality, but
because it's unnatural. Ignorance is "Natur"
he says. We are born ignorant, and ought
to be kept so. We should not wonder if our
men of wealth nominated Buster fo| the Seri
ate at the next election,
According to Solomon and David Scott,
there is but one bigger fool than a villian,
and that's the blockhead that trusts him.
COMPWMENTXHV— Au editor out west in
; speaking of a cotemporary, says he's the.
fote-tunuet to a new race of bafcoons