The star of the north. (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, February 06, 1851, Image 1
% "* M * - -- •• .>■ .we / • ■ .***"* . -.'-iMMMlft'Xr'r.' * - -•*. r<4elw*r-- •■ v?s*- -im. y.p'.n ; UJ n I I .IX—LUJi ■?■ 'I. MI | ' i . i II | 44-41-'-— 1 lin'.ll ilfitiJ. U 1 num.i i" LI P" '. —: JIT I IM-J MMWBBGMJDMTWBTMMGW-G— -THE STAR OF THE NORTH. "~ : ~ - . ■ ■-■■ —.l .1 II- .'I. ■ ■ J .. '.. ■ I _. , .. 1 !.. I IWFI j — ■! ,in ri ■ . ■ ■ ■■. . ■■' ■'_ , „ *• W. Weaver freprieler.] * ' * Truth and Right—Rod aid trap country. pTwa Dalian par Anaaa- VOLUME 3. THE STAR OF THE NORTH /s published every Thursday Morning, by K. W. WEAVER. OFFICE—'Up stairs in the New Brickbuiltting on the south side of Main street, third square below Market. TERMS : —Two Dollars per annum, if paid within six months from the time of subscri bine ; two dollars and fifty cents if not paid witnin the year. No subscription received for a less period than, six months: no discon t'tmiaitce permitted until all arrearages are (laid, unlese at the option of the editors. ADVERTISEMENTB not exceeding one square, will be inserted three times for one doller, and twenty-five cents for each additional insertion A liberal discount trill be made to those who ad • vertise by the year. THE WINTER OP THE HEART. BY U. 11. WILLIAMSON. A wail of Winter and a wail of woods— j A wail of the Summer's unseen soul! A moan through the hare brown solitudes, Like the ring of a broken bowl! Winds arc sweeping, bright eyes weeping, j Heart leaves fall in the Autumn frost— Through the dim Hulls. Mem'ries are leap- | ing. Seeking for joye.i lo.ig since lost. Whither, cry they, hath the full suit flown i Whither the warmth of life— Whither the burning Spirit's tone— The Harp wish music rife? And a wail of winds, and n wail of bowers, Sweep o'er the Heart's sad chords— As a wait of bells for departing Hours, j Or a passing Spirit's words. Where walks the Summer—where her glow! j Where the goves with verdure bowed ! [ Where the soft rain, the bud's bright blow— j The Iris upon tile clout! ! ' ■ I Gone— all gone— and the Wind Fiend shrieks j Rushing by ot. a eloud of leaves, All night howling, till the morning breaks And crimsons the low sky-eves. When comes Ihe Sun ! cried a wretched soul On a bare rock in Life's dread sea, — Where the help from these waves that roll 1 And threaten to cover me ? Ere 'twas morn, a Star shono on that Main, j A Star of holy name, And 'ntid the wild sea roar an angel train, To that Ited Soul's rescue came. Alone ! alone ! sighed the creaking heart In Life's drear Autumn time— Alone! alone! for I've seen them par', Like kluwefv-witLsssW iu UMM ptuu. Not a joy remains, for sere and pale, Lie tlie branch, the rose and leaf, And I go adotvn Life's cheerless vale Along with the spectre Grief. •'T.vern bc.-t to die, said a maiden pure ' Iu iter Love's dark winter day 'Twere bsst to die, than thus endure Life's fierce agony away. - ' And a mother bent o'er her dying child, And wept as a mother will, Nor more from that hour ever smiled. For her grtef though deep, was still. This heart must break when its idol dies, Said one by his wife's death-bed, The sun is stricken from Life's dark skies, j And the soul of my joy is fled. • # * Thus in the wailing of winds and woods, We hear through the winter day, Wails from tlio baro bleak solitudes ' Of hearts that are falling away. PHILADELPHIA, 1850. From the Dutchman. I Lectors on Various Subjecks. BY SACK BL'NBBY. ON COIItTSUIP AND MAUHIDGE. Thar is a menny ways of coirtin a gal— fcenamost eviry feller has got a way of his own. The yung gosliii that dun kio nothin j about the science of cortiu dun kno nothin • what tu du. Afore lie goes to see the gal, j lie haals on all his best dry goods—gives his boots a lick of greese—iles his hair on- j til he maikes it look as ef it wus in mourn in fur the loss of its occerpauts which he ' combed out lliat morniu—taiks a switch in his hand, and he's reddy. Well, by the time ; lie gits tu the tlore of the gal's howsc what j ieelle brains he's got is all in a snarl—he looks as pale as ef he'd jest got over a at tack ot the ager. In he goes, euny how, -cud gits sot down jest as tlio old man and the old wooman gits homo arter a walk of two hour*. He c'uu kuo whar tu put his feat nor what tu du with em, and his hands keep a twitchin inter all manner of sliaips. Bimeby he blows his nose, wipes the swet off his faice and then soz in a voice that sounds something like baa, "good ovouiii." | Walt, ike gal sez Ihe saim, and then they! oetfarabmit an hour, and then he picks up hie hat and jumps up in a monstrus hurry, I and arter he *ez "good evenin," ho goes j away, and the gal sets thar awhile tryiu tu ! think which actid the most like a sheep, she or him. She doil,l have no grait opin yon of hint and ho wonders of ho'd liko tu have a gal fui a wife that dun L-no how tu speck a wurd. Hot ef they evir da git mar rid it aint long afore he finds out that she kin talk all hut share and fur that Tnaltir, his'n tu. Wall, new, that's one way of coirtship verry much follered. Thar both on em ackt as af they warn't verry partikehuiy dosirus of bein thought to kno a grait deel. But that's bettir yet thou the way some ox em goaa in the bisinits. Them paepla in what they call high life, ackt jest as ridikerlus in mi opinyon, in OVi ry respeck. The gal puts on about a haff a BLOOMSBURG, COLUMBIA COUNTY, PA., THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 6, 1851. cord of peltycoats and bussles, and ihen she's fixed out fur a walk with hilr bo. Ar ter she goes out she maiks right strait fur sum plase or anothir whar she kno'a she'll find him, hitches on tu his elbo or walks by his side, and then off they go tu sum gar ding or show, or sumthing of MM descrip shun. Ef he aint got but ham a dollar its obleeged to go for a bokay or a ise creem, or he's afeerd she'll think he's meen. May be he wants that saim haffa dollar tu buy a westcoat or a pare of gallusses, or tu put with sum more tu buy a pare of shoes, but that's nuthin, all he knos when he cums back is that he aint got enny munny left. She laffs and giggles and looks mighty lool ish, and he acks like a run mad rang-o-tang. By and by the bisiness gits on further—then i he calls at hur howse fur hur ockashunally. ' | Arter they've prosseded sum pleasant eve- | I nin,tu see him run inter the plase whar she's ; a sittin, with his faice as red as a peece of j burnin charcole, and drop doun on the (lore j arter he spreds his hankercheef tu keep the I dust from silin his panterloons, and tell hur that she mifltehev seen fur a long time, the objeck of his intenshuns to hur was tu gane poeso'shun a' hnr hart and hand-that buty i like her'n aint hewmaa, but sorter supernat 1 eral—that he couldn't think of livin anothir ininnit on the airth ef she refewsed tu maik him happy by consentin to jine with him, and that bein as his daddy was kinder sub jeck tu melancoly fits, he'd taik one himself ef she wouldn't have him, and then he'd be sartin tu cut his throte clean thru with liis vorry sharpest razer. Arter all that talk that sounds when its anncralized like nothin at all, he heeves a sigh that shows he's blessed with a mighty good pare of lungs, and grasp at hur hand tu kiss it all ovit. Then she busts inter teers, jumps at him and grabs him about the neck, sez "yeas, I only lub yu, deer, booo !" and she .kisses him and he returns the kompliment, and then she ! falls on tu the nicest plase on the sol'y, a cry in all the time that she's altogether tu happy and wants sumbody tu hold hur, while he sticks a burnt fether under hur nose tu bring | hur tu. Sho cums round direchly, and then j they taik one anothir by the hand and j inarch, a blushin like the tail of a pea fowl ! inter the next room, whar the old people is a j settin. Both on em falls down at the old people's feet and sez they've agreed tu git I marrid and hope their deer parents will give | lhair kouscut aim a lihwsja. Thun the old j folks sez they are both tu happy tu live en- I ny longir and wan' tu die right away becase they've seed lhair beloved darter jined tu sicli a respecktible young man. They all git to cryin and slappin one anothir on the back, ontil they look and ackt like kandi daits for the Lewnalick Assylum. Thai's anothir way of coirtin a gal, and the foolisliist I've herd on yit. Ef a foliar gits ackwainted with a juug wooman, and thinks ho CQUUI live with hur without havin a battle or tu eviry day, let him talk and act like a man—a man of sence and knolledge —and not like a ovirgrown monkey. All the fol de-rol he sez tu hur lowirs him in hur opinyou insted of raisin him, that is, ef she's got enny knolledge burself. Eftl ey're both ruttiir week in the garrit, why, then pi lin on the agamy has sumefreck injiiiinetn, but while it's a doiu of (hat it's makin em a latiiii stock fur evirybody that knows enny thing. Kf good [.lane senco can't git hur, she aint wtith havin no how you kin fix it. Thar's one thing I've got tu say agin a heep of the gals, and I must say it, ef 1 wus goin to die the verry next minnit What I've got tu say is this ere—eenamost all the gals are in tu grait a hurrey to git mairid. It's a fackt plane as the nose on a pig's face. They ketch up the fust fellar that cums a longand ollirs himself—haft' on em d.n kuo ciinything about him; they dun kuo wheth er he's kalkilatcd to make em happy or not. Sumtimcs it all turns out rite enufl', but men ny limes they find out that they'd bettir have waited a leetle longir fur a husband or look none at all, fur he pruves tu be a thun der in sight wur.se titan none. I've heord of men a goin round the counlrey on purpus tu marry evirybody that'll have em. They don't ginirally have a gal onless she's got sum mutiny or something they kin sell. Ef she gits a hold of one of these sort of men, it aim long aiore he'll serai p tugether what leetle truck she's got, sell it, and then maik ofl tu anothir plase tu marry anothir gal. Now ef she'd a waited, she'd a soon lound out what sort of a characktir he was, and gin him hie walkin ticket afore mi old cat could scratch hur eer. But Bhe's dun marrid then, and maybe she maiks up a haff duzen that he's sarved in the saim way. Sumtimes they ketch these swinddlcrs and put em in the pcnitenshry tu wurk fur the siait, but what help duz that giv tu the poor creuturs they've fooled so orfully 1 In ko'iklushun, I say tu alt yung peeple what is thinking about gittin marrid, look sharp ; fur a whull life time is a good while tu be repentin fur what maybe was did in eenamost no time: Ef yu don't taik care yn'll say a beep of times arterwards that yu'd ought tu looked afore yu leaped, as the nig ger told his sun when he jumped off the bluff intei the opin jaw* of a big alligater, who wus a lyin a yraiiin tu aee ef thar was euny chanse of gittin a breckfust. 17* Philadelphia pays over thirty per cent of the whole amount ol taxes raised in the State of Pennsylvania. <7 "Mine Got! vol vill de Frenchmen make nextl" as the Dutchman said when he saw the monkey. From Ihe Albany Dutchman. Crumbs for All Kinds of Chickens. Lord Carlisle, in his late addresses before the Mechanias' institute of Leeds, says that if one may judge from the taciturnity of Americans, they must be the most melan choly people in the wofld. His lordship seems to forget that taciturnity may spring from reflection as well as unhappmess. As a general thing, the less a man reads the more loquacious he is. Put a dozen igno ramuses in a room, and they will wrangle all night about the "constitutionality of a saw mill." Put the same number of sensible men in the same situation however, and it will not be an hour be tosg they will all be so absorbed by Bulwer or Scott, that nothing will bo visible of tliem but their standing j collars. Is it with men as it is with drums,. ' the emptier they are, the more noise they make. Americans are not more melancho i ly than other people they are only mora stu | diously. There is a girl in Schenectady with hair so red that they won't admit her into a powder mill, for lear she will "touch it off" Tom Picton, in speaking of fashiona ble clergy, says that they are Leonidases in whi'e chokers, who heroically catch the dys pepsia for three thousand dollars a year. "Sonny, who lives ir. that yaller house !" "Aunt Sally." "And who is aunt Solly ?" "Uncle Ben's wife." "And who is uncle Ben !" "The man wot cotched the big whale." "And what may his name be ?" "Whose, the whale's?" "No, you booby—your uncle Ben's." "Wait a minute, and I'll ask the Bible." Dobbs says that ihe best thing you can do with an ugly wife, is to serve her as you do bad money—pass her off on somebody else: j A young man at Niagara having been crossed in love, walked out to the precipice, | took off his cloths, gave one lingering look at the gulf beneath him, and then pitched— for liome. His body %va9 lound the next morning in bed. A duel came off at Troy on Thursday, be tween the bar-keeper of the brick kiln and j the door-keeper of the Slate dam. They i ftnigtn wnh pistol* arrow a table.—After ex changing four shots with effect, the difficulty was adjusted. Neither of the pistols wer loa ded, which probably accounts for the small effusion of blood. The following question is now before Ihe Tillytudlnm Debating Society—"ls it wrong i to cheat a lawyer i" The young man that stole the key hole from the first lock, has given bail to appear before the Canal.Commissioners to answer. Mr. Bullion says the sight of misery makes him unhappy far a month—for this reason, when he sees a beggar approaching, he al ways carries his eyes to the opposite side of the street. To get a dozen men into a fight, all that's necessary is to start two dogs at it. Half the rows at the little basin are brought about by Sheridan's brindle bull dog getting Mul lottey's brown terrier "fernir.st the gutter." The man that played ball against the Pyr amids, 6tart tor Greenland next week, for the purpose of huisting the American flag on the North Pole. Cold weather is a great enemy to graceful ness. Almost every man you meet is play ing turtle with his head, while his arms are so slid atul rigid they look like German Sau sages. As for noses, we havn't seen a clean one in three weehs. | The tollowiug question is now beforo the Greettbush Debating Society—"Which can a woman hold the longest—her tongne or a hot smoothing-iron." Johnson takes the af firmative. Always be good naturnd. A few drops of oil will do more to start the most stubborn machinery than all the vinegar in the world. FEMALE ACCOMPLISHMENTS.—' Working mi , racles with worsted—such as brown rivers with organe colored shores, or yellow Dan iels sleeping among green lions, with saph ire-colored tails. To injure a man's sight, there is nothing worse than sudden wealth. Let a wood sawyer draw a ten thousand dollar prize, and in less than a month he will not be able to rocogniso even '.he man that "used to go se curity for him." The man that lives on broken victuals, and sleeps on the coal, has nothing to fear from roverse of fortune, oi bightvintls. An editor out west in speaking of a con temporary, says he shouldn't look with con tempt upon meanness, unless he wishes to lay violent hands on himself. Complimen tary that. A writer out west in speaking of a Zephyr, says "it whispered low, as people do when speaking of their coffins." Ditceruitig young man that. The schoolmaster that sprained his face in wolloping the boys, is now engaged in "switching" for the rail road. WE seek for riches and do not find them; we do not seek for death, but alas! he comes. A Distant Relation. We saw yesterday a recommendation written by an Irish friend of ours, in iaror of a gentleman who was an applicant for a commission in tlie army. Among the other things, he says, 'My friend, Mr. ——, is closely connected tvith the President, his father havingybugig a duel with one of the Polks.' The above brings to our mind an incident that occurred some lime ago, at Cincinnati, on board the steamer 'Buckeye,' just as she was about to depait for New Orleans A tall countryman, carrying a pair of sad dle bags on bis arm, and covered with per spiration, atitl who looked as though he | couldn't tell his head front a bunch of shin | gles, rushed into the cabin, calling out at the ; top of his voice: 'Whar is Col. Mcintosh ? Is Col. Mcintosh on this boat ?' No oue answered. 'Well, then, war is the Cap'uu ? 1 must see Col. Mcintosh.' , On being informed that the Captain was on the hurricane deck, our inquiring friend pressed through the crowd in that direction. 'Haul in the planks and shove her off." sounded in his cars, just as lie reached the deck. 'Stop her! Cap'un—stop her! I'm not going to Orleans' • 'Run out ttie planks!—ashnro with you then—quick !' shouted Captain Hartshorn. '1 say Cap':in, I want to see Col Mcintosh. 1 must see him.' 'I don't know him, sir,' quickly answered the old sea-dog. 'We can't wait—go ashore —haul in the planks. I say!' 'O, Cap'un—Cap'nn, I must see the Kurnel lie is a distant relit ion ol mine, and I never seed him in my tile.' Now Captain H was a warm-hearted man, as everybody knows. The last appeal tou ched his feelings, and he kindly inquired. 'How near of kin are you to the gentle man whom you are seeking?' 'Why, Cap'uu he is the father of my first child.' 'Cast off that hawser, and lot her go!' were the last words we heard. And the boat and the man that was in search of his relatives, wended their way towards Orleans. We have not yet hefirtl that Ilia man found Col. Mcintosh, or the place where he landed. An Irishman's Thclt. In the American war, an Irishman, who was reputed a faithful and brave soldier, and \ much esteemed by the officers, obtained j leave oue day to ramble out of the camp, and as he passed by a farmer's house, a cock and hen turkey were sitting on a fence. Tlie cock, agreeable to nature, gabbled at him—Paddy caught them both, and brought them to the camp without injury. The owner followed biin, and entered a complaint against him. 'How,' said the President, 'is this Jemmyi that you have stolen the man's turkeys?' Jemrcy denied stealing them, saying, 'My captain well knows that I have been a good friend to my county, and could never bear the name of tory ; as I was passing by the man's bouse, that red headed baist stepped up and calls out tory, tory, tory, and I would not bear t: at his hands, so I took and biought him to camp for trial.' 'Well,' says his captain, 'but you have brought the hen, and she has done no crime. 'Ah! but,' says lie, 'she was tbe only wit ness I had against him.' The witty turn of Paddy so pleased tlie cout-martial, that they paid the owner for his turkeys and gave them to Jemmy to take and punish ii his own way. CIIURCII GAMBLING. —One of the religious papers tells a story in relation <Jo church gambling, whjeh contains a lesson worthy of repeating. A member of a church went to his pastor and entreated his personal inter position with a favorite son, who had be come ruinously addicted to the vice of gam bling. The pastor consented, and seeking the young man, found him in his chamber. He commenced his lecture, but before he had concluded, the young man laid his hand upon his rrm, and drew his attention to a pile of splendid volumes that stood upon the dressing table "Well," said the pastor, inquiringly. "Well, (replied the young man) those volumes wero won by me at a fair giver, in your church; thoy were my first venture, and but for that lottery, uuder the patronage of a Christian Church, I should never have became a gambler." The pastor had no answer. 17 Do you know that there are some, people who can never say a plain thing in a plain way ? They must minco and mouth, and adopt tho ,high-faluling' style in every thing they do or speak. 01 such was the old Maid whom OLLAPOO encountered on a canal packet-boat. Did you ever see Niagra Falls?' said a lady-passenger to her. "No I never met tbem, but I've hcaid them highly spoken iof\" 'lsn't that the ridge-road, where that stage is going ?' asked another passenger of the same benign maiden-lady,"pointing to a coach on an adjacent turnpike. ' Oh, no; oh, bless me, no; oh, that were the ridge road whicli they had Strieker, upon tlie hill, o'er which the driver had just riz as we came past! HT It is thought that (he census for this year will make the population of Pennsylva nia 2,325.000 Why he Wore a Wig. Not long since a thorough-bred Yankee arrived at one of our hotels, and excited con siderable attention by hit inquisitive man ners. Amonjf the things which appeared to him as out of the ordinary course, he obser ved that a fine-looking young man of twenty wore a wig. 'Why was it? How did he lose his hair so young ?' were questions the Yankee would fain have heard answered. At last his curiosity became so strong, that he resolved to apply for information to the young man himself. 'I say, neighbor,' be began, 'seems to me that hair o' yourn ain,l nat'ral.' 'Sir!' 'That hair o' yourn—it's a wig, ain't it ?' The young man gave the Yankee a terri ble look, but answered coolly— 'lt's a wig. What fff it ?' 'Nothing—only—tisn't of'n we Yankees lose our hair so young. Seen trouble ?' 'Some.' 'That's what made your hair fall off!' 'Not exactly.' 'Been sick ?' 'Once.' '0? then that's what—' 'No, it isn't.' 'Pshaw ! What was it then ! I can't think of any other way o' losing yer hair.' '1 here is another way,' said the young man coolly. 'What?' asced the Yankee, with mouth and eyes open. 'You have heard about the prisons down south!' 'No.' •Well, they shave tho heads of the con victs, down there.' 'Jcrusalum ! you haint been to prison ?' cried the Yankee, in alarm. 'That ain't tho way you -lost yer hair ?' 'No,' said the young man gravely. 'How was it then ?' 'Not exactly in prison—no ; but you know that the Insane Asvlum, when tho wild ones are raving mad, and want to kill somebody, the keepers always shave their crowns ?' 'No?' 'Yes they do. I haven't got a natural hair on my head.' 'Come, now !' cried the Yankee, full of wonder and curiosity—'say ! you haint been to the Insane Asylum, hev' ye?' 'No,, was the solemn reply. The Yankee twisted himself into all sorts of shapes, well aware that the youth in the wig was quizzing him, but still burning with curiosity to know how he lost his hair. He pressed hisonquiries with ail seriousness. 'How did I lose it?' said the young man. "You'll tell, I am afraid. 'No, I swear I won't.' 'Weil, listen to me then. A year ago 1 was paying attention to a young woman—a bewitching creature, but a perfect shrew Whew ! what a temper that girl had ! But i didn't know it, until—' 'When ?' 'About the lime I lost ray hair.' 'But how was that ?' 'Don't interrupt me. That girl was an aw. fui jealous thing—awful! One night I wont to the theatre with a cousin of mine—a deu_ ced pretty girl by the way—and tho other one heard of it. I hadn't mote than got home when ring-a-ting-ting wont tho door bell, as if a demist was pulling it for a tooth. All my folks had gone to bed, and so I went to open the door. Who do you think I saw 1' 'Your girl ?' 'Nobody else! I never was so frightened in my life. The deuce would bo to pay 1 knew.' 'William !' said she. 'My dear,' said I. 'You've been to the theatre.' 'Yes, my dear.' 'You took a girl ?' 'Yes, my dear.' 'Her eyes shone like a cat's. She sprang towards mo—made a dasii at my hair—o, dear!' sighed the young man, 'I can't tell it all!—only— l've had to wear a wig ever since!' And the young man walked off with his handkerchief to his face, while the Yankee glided softly out another door, amid the gen eral laughter of tho loungers. .A CURIOSITY. —The name of a colored wo man in Cra.wford county, Pennsylvania, is Vine Davis. She is eighty-nine years old. She can sec to pick up a needle in the dark, and in the daytime cannot see across tho room. So writes the marshall upon his census schd* 'Be 17*11 was a pertinent and forcible saying of tho Empeior Napoleon, "a handsome woman pleases the eye, but a good woman pleases tho hoart. The one is a jewel and he other a treasure." 17" Tlio drop that mingles with the flood —the sand dropped on the sea shore—the woid you have spoken, will not be lost. Each will have ita influence and be felt, till eternity. 17* An Irishman, upon seeing a squirrel shot from a tree, said 'faith and be Jabsrs that was a waste of powder, (lie fall itself would have killed the squirrel.' A BLACK BLUE BEARD Thfre is a negro living near Palestine, who is the father of fif-ty six children, hafs buried seven wives, and now, at the age of more than ninety years, iscourting for the eighth wife. THE COQUETTE. Ie _ Now, pray, sir, do be quiet, I wonder what you mean ; Indeed, my glossy ringlots Are shocking to be seen. 0 A kiss! well—did you ever r- Hear of so bold a man ? y I kinder think you'll get it, 0 That is, sir, if you can ! How dare—l vow he's going! IS 0, that will never do ! I- Come back, dear Charles—don't go away ; it I'm not MUCH vexed—are you ? e There! there! you noedn'teat me! But pray, remember this: * If you must ask silly questions, e That sometimes No—means—yes! ( Gen. Washington's Farm. The farm ol General Washington, at Ml. Vernon, contained, 10,000 acres of land in one body, equal to about 15 square miles. It was divided into farms of convenient size, at the distance of two, three and five miles from his mansion house. He visited these farms every day, in pleasant weather and was constantly engaged in making experi j tnents for the improvement of agriculture gome ideaot the extent of his farming op erations may he formed of the following facts: In 1787, he had 580 acres in grass ; j sowed 600 bushels of oats; 700 acres with } wheat, and as mucli more in corn, barley, I potatoes, beans, peas, &e., and 150 with tur. j ' nips. His slock consisted of 140 horses ; | 112 cows; 236 working oxen, heifers and I 1 steers, and 500 slioep. He constantly em-I i ployed 250 hands, and kept 24 ploughs going during tlie whole year, whe.i the earth and the stale of the weather would permit. Iu 1 j ftO, lift filauolilarail 1 fUI hnai. tor tlio usa of his family, and provision for his i for whose comfort he had great reward. 17 What a miserable cynic of an old bachelor it must have been who wrota the ; ensuing description of marriage! He 'ought j to be ashamed of himself—"Look at the j great n.ass of marriages that take place j ! over the whole world ; what poor, contemp ! tible affairs they are! A few soft looks, a j walk, a dance, a squeeze of the hand, a ,; popping of ihe question, a purchasing of a | j certain number of yards of white satin, a P ring a minister, a stage or two in a hited , | carriage, a night in a country inn, and the I j whole matter is over. For five Or six weeks i ; two sheepish-looking persons are seen dan- I | gling on each other's arms, loosing at wat- J j ei-falls, or making morning calls, and guz - j | zling wine and cakes, then every thing falls \ ' into the most monotonous routine ; the wife i ■ sits on one side of the hearth, the husband ; j on the othei, and little quarrels, little pleas ' | ures, little cares and little children gradually [ gatiier rourd them. This is what ninety ; nine out of one hundred find to be the de lights of matrimony." L I 17 A correspondent at Skunk's Manor says that he has been 'treated like a dog, 1 and he expects us to say how ! So have iccbeen in our capacity, more times than you can shake a stick. What dog was it that we were treated tike ? Not like CARLO, not like , TRUMP, not like SYPIIAX. To lie on a warm rug, to lick a lady's hand, to eat crackers, to ' be led on tender line, to ride out in a car , | riage, to be patted by a gentle hand, to have ; your part taken in all quarrels to pay noth , j ing for board, washing, light, fuel— that's j j being 'treated like a dog.' We should like [ to be a dog at that rale. ! 17 "Why do you not admire mj® (laugh- j j ter?" said a proud mother to a gentleman.. [ "Because." he replied, "I am no judge of' paintings." "But surely," replied the lady, \ not in the lecst disconcerted by this rude re flection. "You never saw an angel that was not painted." j 17 We know a man who is so mean thai ; i lie buttons his shirt collars with wafers, lie , , j is a near relation to tho old codger who looks | at his money through a magnifying glass. 11 By this means, he says a quarter looks as r ' good as a half dollar. i 1 C 7 An Irishman, travelling in n street i 3 that was paved, was neeosted by a dog with j - a threatening growl. The traveller attemp- j ted to pnlf up bne of the paving stones to j throw at him but it was fast. 'Arrah,' 6aid | • Paddy, 'what a country is this, where stones , 3 are tied and dags let loose /' 3 ~,,, ' 17 It has often happened in military movements, that soldiers with fevers and in- ! flamed wounds, have been exposed in wag- j ons to rains and severe cold ; but in all ca- j , ses recorded, t ey seemed the belter for the , exposure, and to the astonishmeut of the ar , my surgeons, theif fever patients cases all 1 recovered. ■ ... . | 17 "Come here my dear, I want to ask j I you all about your sister. Now tell me true, ; has she got a beau ?" "No, it's the yellow jaundice—the doctor says so." | ■*'► 17 'Old age is coming en me rapidly,' as I the urchin said when lie was stealing apples from an old man's garden, and saw the own | er coming cowhide in hand. 17 One of the most remarkable fact in > tho diet of mankind, Is the enormous con f sumption of tea and coffee. Upwards of , 800,000,000 pounds of these articles are an- j f nually consumed by the inhabitants of the world. NUMBER 2. j FOREIGN ITE.tos. Aii unknown picture by Raphael has just been discovered at Cremona. It represents the Virgin kneeling and adoring tile intent Savior. St. Josopii it In the back ground, in one corner are tlio initials of Raphael, S. R. It is said iu the Mtssagiert of Modena, that the naked statues in the chilrchee at Rome are to be covered from motives of modesty. Canova's (Senilis ol Death in tke Monument to Pope Clement is to be ihui adorned, and the many little cherubs which abound in various churches are no longer to be left iu a state of improper oxposure. The, immodest pictures are also te be improved. Count d Orsay is, ii is said, engaged on n painting of some magnitude, whioh is like'y to excite a sensation. The President of tHfi Republic, from okl acquaintance, was dis posed to appoint him as ambassador to one of the Courts of Italy, but the Minister for boreigu Affairs remonstrated against the ap pointment, and the intention was abandon ed. George isantl has met with a severe check in the perusal of the authorities to allow a play from her pen to be produced at "the Theatre St. Martin, entitled "Claudia." Ev erything had been prepared for it, aiid con siderable expense had been incurred, when the Censor stepped in, and politely anliounb ed hi refusal of a license. Lord Brougham's eye is now considered to be quite safe by the most experienced of London oculisie. Lord Brougham lias, du ring his sojourn at his chateau near Cannes, been engaged iu sum* .UOioJi ... tai researches on the diffraction of light ; and we have no doubt that his sight was injured by tlie length and continuity of r3- seaiches carried on in a dark apartment. His lordship, in passing through Paris, communicatee an account of his experiments to the National Institute, and is at present at Brougham Hail. Mr. HoalJ has very honoiabiy discharged all the outstanding claims of creditors for ar ticles supplied either to him or Lola Monies during their residence together in Paris. Mr.Lewis, his agent, has just left, after paying all the honest creditors in full, and compelling others to strike off extortionate demands. Lola has, it appears, made anoth er effort but a vaiil one, to bring back the runaway, She continues to receive month ly her aliowauce of £5OO a year from Mr. HeaU, but this is upon tlie express condition that sho shall not "annoy him in any way and it has been intimated to her ihdt if the' name of Mr. Heald should be mentioned HI her forthcoming memoirs, her allowance will be stooped. Lamartine went to England lately to sell itis new book, The History of the Directory, to some publisher. He said he would put his whole soul in it— palpitant cTactualite it would astonish Europe—and he would oon tent himself with a poor five thoiisfinii pounda as honorarium. The publisher de clined the offer. He is soon to print it iti Paris. Granier de Cassagnac, a noted news paper hack, is writing on the samo subject in opposi ion. Frcm the Ptmisylvanian. Jlnj >r Rlnke nt the Opera. An eccentric western man,—-Major Billy Blake,—ii "stopping" at one of our big ho le's, and affords some excellent pastime to' his fellow lodgers. On Monday night, sev eral of thftrrt proposed a visit to tlie theatre, —and tlie Major consented to be one of thb party. They conducted Itim to the Italian opeta and took possession of a box near the stage. It was a new entertain ment for Ma jor Billy. When ihe performance began, his companions observed him stretching out itis neck, with seeming artxiety to catch the sounds, —for he was not advised by his friends that the language of the vocalists . was one to which it's our had n6t been ac customed. His look ol puzzled disappoint ment Showed that he had not succeeded in making anything of the music. Af last, when tin performer who does the base came' out and executed a solo, —:he Major started iike one electrified ami began to kindle tip' ; 1 —he jumped to the front ef the box, swore ! several transm'onta'no oaths, grinned fero'ci- I ously and shook his fit at lite opera singer. : His companions forced httn back to his seal and enquired the cause of his excitement. ''Did'nt you hoar what that fellow In the green jack -l sung out ?" sai I the Major foa* | miniiwilh rage,—"Ho come over it two or ! three times ;—I see Major Blake; —I see Major Blake ! —aid Billy Blake ! —the blaffied old sinner! Then that ar little' woman run- I ned out and sqnall'd—What foteli him here ' —-what fotch liim hero ? Greon jacket says —tumble him out of the window, —right out of the window ! rumble me out, oh? Left me go, will you,? I'm going to jrimp o+er j the fence and pitch into him 1" The Ma jor's company tried to hold him back, and begun to explain that tlie music was Italian, and meant something very different from what the Major supposed,— bfit ho was not in a temper, to hear them. Breaking away from his detainers, he began to clamber over the ballustcr, with the design, as it seemed, of reaching "groen-jaoket" on the stage,— When some of the peace preservers of the establishment laid hands on him and, with some difficulty, forced him from ihe premi ses. The Major's tiiends followed him irili) the street, and entering into explanations with tbe officers, obtained his release 17 White gloves conceal black hands