The star of the north. (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, February 06, 1851, Image 1

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*• W. Weaver freprieler.] * ' * Truth and Right—Rod aid trap country. pTwa Dalian par Anaaa-
/s published every Thursday Morning, by
OFFICE—'Up stairs in the New Brickbuiltting
on the south side of Main street, third
square below Market.
TERMS : —Two Dollars per annum, if paid
within six months from the time of subscri
bine ; two dollars and fifty cents if not paid
witnin the year. No subscription received
for a less period than, six months: no discon
t'tmiaitce permitted until all arrearages are
(laid, unlese at the option of the editors.
ADVERTISEMENTB not exceeding one square,
will be inserted three times for one doller, and
twenty-five cents for each additional insertion
A liberal discount trill be made to those who ad
• vertise by the year.
A wail of Winter and a wail of woods— j
A wail of the Summer's unseen soul!
A moan through the hare brown solitudes,
Like the ring of a broken bowl!
Winds arc sweeping, bright eyes weeping, j
Heart leaves fall in the Autumn frost—
Through the dim Hulls. Mem'ries are leap- |
Seeking for joye.i lo.ig since lost.
Whither, cry they, hath the full suit flown i
Whither the warmth of life—
Whither the burning Spirit's tone—
The Harp wish music rife?
And a wail of winds, and n wail of bowers,
Sweep o'er the Heart's sad chords—
As a wait of bells for departing Hours, j
Or a passing Spirit's words.
Where walks the Summer—where her glow! j
Where the goves with verdure bowed ! [
Where the soft rain, the bud's bright blow— j
The Iris upon tile clout! !
' ■ I
Gone— all gone— and the Wind Fiend shrieks j
Rushing by ot. a eloud of leaves,
All night howling, till the morning breaks
And crimsons the low sky-eves.
When comes Ihe Sun ! cried a wretched soul
On a bare rock in Life's dread sea, —
Where the help from these waves that roll 1
And threaten to cover me ?
Ere 'twas morn, a Star shono on that Main, j
A Star of holy name,
And 'ntid the wild sea roar an angel train,
To that Ited Soul's rescue came.
Alone ! alone ! sighed the creaking heart
In Life's drear Autumn time—
Alone! alone! for I've seen them par',
Like kluwefv-witLsssW iu UMM ptuu.
Not a joy remains, for sere and pale,
Lie tlie branch, the rose and leaf,
And I go adotvn Life's cheerless vale
Along with the spectre Grief.
•'T.vern bc.-t to die, said a maiden pure '
Iu iter Love's dark winter day
'Twere bsst to die, than thus endure
Life's fierce agony away. - '
And a mother bent o'er her dying child,
And wept as a mother will,
Nor more from that hour ever smiled.
For her grtef though deep, was still.
This heart must break when its idol dies,
Said one by his wife's death-bed,
The sun is stricken from Life's dark skies, j
And the soul of my joy is fled.
• # *
Thus in the wailing of winds and woods,
We hear through the winter day,
Wails from tlio baro bleak solitudes
' Of hearts that are falling away.
From the Dutchman. I
Lectors on Various Subjecks.
Thar is a menny ways of coirtin a gal—
fcenamost eviry feller has got a way of his
own. The yung gosliii that dun kio nothin j
about the science of cortiu dun kno nothin
• what tu du. Afore lie goes to see the gal, j
lie haals on all his best dry goods—gives
his boots a lick of greese—iles his hair on- j
til he maikes it look as ef it wus in mourn
in fur the loss of its occerpauts which he '
combed out lliat morniu—taiks a switch in
his hand, and he's reddy. Well, by the time ;
lie gits tu the tlore of the gal's howsc what j
ieelle brains he's got is all in a snarl—he
looks as pale as ef he'd jest got over a at
tack ot the ager. In he goes, euny how,
-cud gits sot down jest as tlio old man and
the old wooman gits homo arter a walk of
two hour*. He c'uu kuo whar tu put his
feat nor what tu du with em, and his hands
keep a twitchin inter all manner of sliaips.
Bimeby he blows his nose, wipes the swet
off his faice and then soz in a voice that
sounds something like baa, "good ovouiii." |
Walt, ike gal sez Ihe saim, and then they!
oetfarabmit an hour, and then he picks up
hie hat and jumps up in a monstrus hurry, I
and arter he *ez "good evenin," ho goes j
away, and the gal sets thar awhile tryiu tu !
think which actid the most like a sheep,
she or him. She doil,l have no grait opin
yon of hint and ho wonders of ho'd liko tu
have a gal fui a wife that dun L-no how tu
speck a wurd. Hot ef they evir da git mar
rid it aint long afore he finds out that she
kin talk all hut share and fur that Tnaltir,
his'n tu.
Wall, new, that's one way of coirtship
verry much follered. Thar both on em ackt
as af they warn't verry partikehuiy dosirus
of bein thought to kno a grait deel. But
that's bettir yet thou the way some ox em
goaa in the bisinits.
Them paepla in what they call high life,
ackt jest as ridikerlus in mi opinyon, in OVi
ry respeck. The gal puts on about a haff a
cord of peltycoats and bussles, and ihen
she's fixed out fur a walk with hilr bo. Ar
ter she goes out she maiks right strait fur
sum plase or anothir whar she kno'a she'll
find him, hitches on tu his elbo or walks by
his side, and then off they go tu sum gar
ding or show, or sumthing of MM descrip
shun. Ef he aint got but ham a dollar its
obleeged to go for a bokay or a ise creem,
or he's afeerd she'll think he's meen. May
be he wants that saim haffa dollar tu buy a
westcoat or a pare of gallusses, or tu put
with sum more tu buy a pare of shoes, but
that's nuthin, all he knos when he cums
back is that he aint got enny munny left.
She laffs and giggles and looks mighty lool
ish, and he acks like a run mad rang-o-tang.
By and by the bisiness gits on further—then
i he calls at hur howse fur hur ockashunally. '
| Arter they've prosseded sum pleasant eve- |
I nin,tu see him run inter the plase whar she's ;
a sittin, with his faice as red as a peece of j
burnin charcole, and drop doun on the (lore j
arter he spreds his hankercheef tu keep the I
dust from silin his panterloons, and tell hur
that she mifltehev seen fur a long time, the
objeck of his intenshuns to hur was tu gane
poeso'shun a' hnr hart and hand-that buty
i like her'n aint hewmaa, but sorter supernat
1 eral—that he couldn't think of livin anothir
ininnit on the airth ef she refewsed tu maik
him happy by consentin to jine with him,
and that bein as his daddy was kinder sub
jeck tu melancoly fits, he'd taik one himself
ef she wouldn't have him, and then he'd be
sartin tu cut his throte clean thru with liis
vorry sharpest razer. Arter all that talk that
sounds when its anncralized like nothin at
all, he heeves a sigh that shows he's blessed
with a mighty good pare of lungs, and grasp
at hur hand tu kiss it all ovit. Then she
busts inter teers, jumps at him and grabs
him about the neck, sez "yeas, I only lub
yu, deer, booo !" and she .kisses him and
he returns the kompliment, and then she !
falls on tu the nicest plase on the sol'y, a cry
in all the time that she's altogether tu happy
and wants sumbody tu hold hur, while he
sticks a burnt fether under hur nose tu bring |
hur tu. Sho cums round direchly, and then j
they taik one anothir by the hand and j
inarch, a blushin like the tail of a pea fowl !
inter the next room, whar the old people is a j
settin. Both on em falls down at the old
people's feet and sez they've agreed tu git I
marrid and hope their deer parents will give |
lhair kouscut aim a lihwsja. Thun the old j
folks sez they are both tu happy tu live en- I
ny longir and wan' tu die right away becase
they've seed lhair beloved darter jined tu
sicli a respecktible young man. They all
git to cryin and slappin one anothir on the
back, ontil they look and ackt like kandi
daits for the Lewnalick Assylum.
Thai's anothir way of coirtin a gal, and
the foolisliist I've herd on yit. Ef a foliar
gits ackwainted with a juug wooman, and
thinks ho CQUUI live with hur without havin
a battle or tu eviry day, let him talk and act
like a man—a man of sence and knolledge
—and not like a ovirgrown monkey. All
the fol de-rol he sez tu hur lowirs him in
hur opinyou insted of raisin him, that is, ef
she's got enny knolledge burself. Eftl ey're
both ruttiir week in the garrit, why, then pi
lin on the agamy has sumefreck injiiiinetn,
but while it's a doiu of (hat it's makin em a
latiiii stock fur evirybody that knows enny
thing. Kf good [.lane senco can't git hur,
she aint wtith havin no how you kin fix it.
Thar's one thing I've got tu say agin a
heep of the gals, and I must say it, ef 1 wus
goin to die the verry next minnit What
I've got tu say is this ere—eenamost all the
gals are in tu grait a hurrey to git mairid.
It's a fackt plane as the nose on a pig's face.
They ketch up the fust fellar that cums a
longand ollirs himself—haft' on em d.n kuo
ciinything about him; they dun kuo wheth
er he's kalkilatcd to make em happy or not.
Sumtimcs it all turns out rite enufl', but men
ny limes they find out that they'd bettir
have waited a leetle longir fur a husband or
look none at all, fur he pruves tu be a thun
der in sight titan none. I've heord of
men a goin round the counlrey on purpus tu
marry evirybody that'll have em. They
don't ginirally have a gal onless she's got
sum mutiny or something they kin sell. Ef
she gits a hold of one of these sort of men,
it aim long aiore he'll serai p tugether what
leetle truck she's got, sell it, and then maik
ofl tu anothir plase tu marry anothir gal.
Now ef she'd a waited, she'd a soon lound
out what sort of a characktir he was, and
gin him hie walkin ticket afore mi old cat
could scratch hur eer. But Bhe's dun marrid
then, and maybe she maiks up a haff duzen
that he's sarved in the saim way. Sumtimes
they ketch these swinddlcrs and put em in
the pcnitenshry tu wurk fur the siait, but
what help duz that giv tu the poor creuturs
they've fooled so orfully 1
In ko'iklushun, I say tu alt yung peeple
what is thinking about gittin marrid, look
sharp ; fur a whull life time is a good while
tu be repentin fur what maybe was did in
eenamost no time: Ef yu don't taik care
yn'll say a beep of times arterwards that yu'd
ought tu looked afore yu leaped, as the nig
ger told his sun when he jumped off the
bluff intei the opin jaw* of a big alligater,
who wus a lyin a yraiiin tu aee ef thar was
euny chanse of gittin a breckfust.
17* Philadelphia pays over thirty per
cent of the whole amount ol taxes raised in
the State of Pennsylvania.
<7 "Mine Got! vol vill de Frenchmen
make nextl" as the Dutchman said when he
saw the monkey.
From Ihe Albany Dutchman.
Crumbs for All Kinds of Chickens.
Lord Carlisle, in his late addresses before
the Mechanias' institute of Leeds, says that
if one may judge from the taciturnity of
Americans, they must be the most melan
choly people in the wofld. His lordship
seems to forget that taciturnity may spring
from reflection as well as unhappmess. As
a general thing, the less a man reads the
more loquacious he is. Put a dozen igno
ramuses in a room, and they will wrangle all
night about the "constitutionality of a saw
mill." Put the same number of sensible
men in the same situation however, and it
will not be an hour be tosg they will all be
so absorbed by Bulwer or Scott, that nothing
will bo visible of tliem but their standing
j collars. Is it with men as it is with drums,.
' the emptier they are, the more noise they
make. Americans are not more melancho
i ly than other people they are only mora stu
| diously.
There is a girl in Schenectady with hair
so red that they won't admit her into a
powder mill, for lear she will "touch it off"
Tom Picton, in speaking of fashiona
ble clergy, says that they are Leonidases in
whi'e chokers, who heroically catch the dys
pepsia for three thousand dollars a year.
"Sonny, who lives ir. that yaller house !"
"Aunt Sally."
"And who is aunt Solly ?"
"Uncle Ben's wife."
"And who is uncle Ben !"
"The man wot cotched the big whale."
"And what may his name be ?"
"Whose, the whale's?"
"No, you booby—your uncle Ben's."
"Wait a minute, and I'll ask the Bible."
Dobbs says that ihe best thing you can do
with an ugly wife, is to serve her as you do
bad money—pass her off on somebody else: j
A young man at Niagara having been
crossed in love, walked out to the precipice, |
took off his cloths, gave one lingering look
at the gulf beneath him, and then pitched—
for liome. His body %va9 lound the next
morning in bed.
A duel came off at Troy on Thursday, be
tween the bar-keeper of the brick kiln and j
the door-keeper of the Slate dam. They i
ftnigtn wnh pistol* arrow a table.—After ex
changing four shots with effect, the difficulty
was adjusted. Neither of the pistols wer loa
ded, which probably accounts for the small
effusion of blood.
The following question is now before Ihe
Tillytudlnm Debating Society—"ls it wrong i
to cheat a lawyer i"
The young man that stole the key hole
from the first lock, has given bail to appear
before the Canal.Commissioners to answer.
Mr. Bullion says the sight of misery makes
him unhappy far a month—for this reason,
when he sees a beggar approaching, he al
ways carries his eyes to the opposite side of
the street.
To get a dozen men into a fight, all that's
necessary is to start two dogs at it. Half the
rows at the little basin are brought about
by Sheridan's brindle bull dog getting Mul
lottey's brown terrier " the gutter."
The man that played ball against the Pyr
amids, 6tart tor Greenland next week, for
the purpose of huisting the American flag
on the North Pole.
Cold weather is a great enemy to graceful
ness. Almost every man you meet is play
ing turtle with his head, while his arms are
so slid atul rigid they look like German Sau
sages. As for noses, we havn't seen a clean
one in three weehs.
| The tollowiug question is now beforo the
Greettbush Debating Society—"Which can
a woman hold the longest—her tongne or a
hot smoothing-iron." Johnson takes the af
Always be good naturnd. A few drops of
oil will do more to start the most stubborn
machinery than all the vinegar in the world.
, racles with worsted—such as brown rivers
with organe colored shores, or yellow Dan
iels sleeping among green lions, with saph
ire-colored tails.
To injure a man's sight, there is nothing
worse than sudden wealth. Let a wood
sawyer draw a ten thousand dollar prize, and
in less than a month he will not be able to
rocogniso even '.he man that "used to go se
curity for him."
The man that lives on broken victuals,
and sleeps on the coal, has nothing to fear
from roverse of fortune, oi bightvintls.
An editor out west in speaking of a con
temporary, says he shouldn't look with con
tempt upon meanness, unless he wishes to
lay violent hands on himself. Complimen
tary that.
A writer out west in speaking of a Zephyr,
says "it whispered low, as people do when
speaking of their coffins." Ditceruitig young
man that.
The schoolmaster that sprained his face
in wolloping the boys, is now engaged in
"switching" for the rail road.
WE seek for riches and do not find them;
we do not seek for death, but alas! he comes.
A Distant Relation.
We saw yesterday a recommendation
written by an Irish friend of ours, in iaror of
a gentleman who was an applicant for a
commission in tlie army. Among the other
things, he says, 'My friend, Mr. ——, is
closely connected tvith the President, his
father havingybugig a duel with one of the
The above brings to our mind an incident
that occurred some lime ago, at Cincinnati,
on board the steamer 'Buckeye,' just as she
was about to depait for New Orleans
A tall countryman, carrying a pair of sad
dle bags on bis arm, and covered with per
spiration, atitl who looked as though he
| couldn't tell his head front a bunch of shin
| gles, rushed into the cabin, calling out at the
; top of his voice:
'Whar is Col. Mcintosh ? Is Col. Mcintosh
on this boat ?'
No oue answered.
'Well, then, war is the Cap'uu ? 1 must
see Col. Mcintosh.' ,
On being informed that the Captain was
on the hurricane deck, our inquiring friend
pressed through the crowd in that direction.
'Haul in the planks and shove her off."
sounded in his cars, just as lie reached the
'Stop her! Cap'un—stop her! I'm not going
to Orleans' •
'Run out ttie planks!—ashnro with you
then—quick !' shouted Captain Hartshorn.
'1 say Cap':in, I want to see Col Mcintosh.
1 must see him.'
'I don't know him, sir,' quickly answered
the old sea-dog. 'We can't wait—go ashore
—haul in the planks. I say!'
'O, Cap'un—Cap'nn, I must see the Kurnel
lie is a distant relit ion ol mine, and I never
seed him in my tile.'
Now Captain H was a warm-hearted man,
as everybody knows. The last appeal tou
ched his feelings, and he kindly inquired.
'How near of kin are you to the gentle
man whom you are seeking?'
'Why, Cap'uu he is the father of my first
'Cast off that hawser, and lot her go!'
were the last words we heard. And the
boat and the man that was in search of his
relatives, wended their way towards Orleans.
We have not yet hefirtl that Ilia man found
Col. Mcintosh, or the place where he landed.
An Irishman's Thclt.
In the American war, an Irishman, who
was reputed a faithful and brave soldier, and \
much esteemed by the officers, obtained j
leave oue day to ramble out of the camp, and
as he passed by a farmer's house, a cock
and hen turkey were sitting on a fence.
Tlie cock, agreeable to nature, gabbled at
him—Paddy caught them both, and brought
them to the camp without injury.
The owner followed biin, and entered a
complaint against him.
'How,' said the President, 'is this Jemmyi
that you have stolen the man's turkeys?'
Jemrcy denied stealing them, saying, 'My
captain well knows that I have been a good
friend to my county, and could never bear
the name of tory ; as I was passing by the
man's bouse, that red headed baist stepped
up and calls out tory, tory, tory, and I would
not bear t: at his hands, so I took and biought
him to camp for trial.'
'Well,' says his captain, 'but you have
brought the hen, and she has done no crime.
'Ah! but,' says lie, 'she was tbe only wit
ness I had against him.'
The witty turn of Paddy so pleased tlie
cout-martial, that they paid the owner for his
turkeys and gave them to Jemmy to take
and punish ii his own way.
CIIURCII GAMBLING. —One of the religious
papers tells a story in relation <Jo church
gambling, whjeh contains a lesson worthy of
repeating. A member of a church went to
his pastor and entreated his personal inter
position with a favorite son, who had be
come ruinously addicted to the vice of gam
bling. The pastor consented, and seeking
the young man, found him in his chamber.
He commenced his lecture, but before he
had concluded, the young man laid his hand
upon his rrm, and drew his attention to a
pile of splendid volumes that stood upon
the dressing table "Well," said the pastor,
inquiringly. "Well, (replied the young
man) those volumes wero won by me at a
fair giver, in your church; thoy were my
first venture, and but for that lottery, uuder
the patronage of a Christian Church, I
should never have became a gambler." The
pastor had no answer.
17 Do you know that there are some,
people who can never say a plain thing in a
plain way ? They must minco and mouth,
and adopt tho ,high-faluling' style in every
thing they do or speak. 01 such was the old
Maid whom OLLAPOO encountered on a canal
packet-boat. Did you ever see Niagra Falls?'
said a lady-passenger to her. "No I never
met tbem, but I've hcaid them highly spoken
iof\" 'lsn't that the ridge-road, where that
stage is going ?' asked another passenger of
the same benign maiden-lady,"pointing to a
coach on an adjacent turnpike. ' Oh, no; oh,
bless me, no; oh, that were the ridge road
whicli they had Strieker, upon tlie hill, o'er
which the driver had just riz as we came
HT It is thought that (he census for this
year will make the population of Pennsylva
nia 2,325.000
Why he Wore a Wig.
Not long since a thorough-bred Yankee
arrived at one of our hotels, and excited con
siderable attention by hit inquisitive man
ners. Amonjf the things which appeared to
him as out of the ordinary course, he obser
ved that a fine-looking young man of twenty
wore a wig. 'Why was it? How did he
lose his hair so young ?' were questions
the Yankee would fain have heard answered.
At last his curiosity became so strong, that
he resolved to apply for information to the
young man himself.
'I say, neighbor,' be began, 'seems to me
that hair o' yourn ain,l nat'ral.'
'That hair o' yourn—it's a wig, ain't it ?'
The young man gave the Yankee a terri
ble look, but answered coolly—
'lt's a wig. What fff it ?'
'Nothing—only—tisn't of'n we Yankees
lose our hair so young. Seen trouble ?'
'That's what made your hair fall off!'
'Not exactly.'
'Been sick ?'
'0? then that's what—'
'No, it isn't.'
'Pshaw ! What was it then ! I can't
think of any other way o' losing yer hair.'
'1 here is another way,' said the young
man coolly.
'What?' asced the Yankee, with mouth
and eyes open.
'You have heard about the prisons down
•Well, they shave tho heads of the con
victs, down there.'
'Jcrusalum ! you haint been to prison ?'
cried the Yankee, in alarm. 'That ain't tho
way you -lost yer hair ?'
'No,' said the young man gravely.
'How was it then ?'
'Not exactly in prison—no ; but you know
that the Insane Asvlum, when tho wild ones
are raving mad, and want to kill somebody,
the keepers always shave their crowns ?'
'Yes they do. I haven't got a natural hair
on my head.'
'Come, now !' cried the Yankee, full of
wonder and curiosity—'say ! you haint been
to the Insane Asylum, hev' ye?'
'No,, was the solemn reply.
The Yankee twisted himself into all sorts
of shapes, well aware that the youth in the
wig was quizzing him, but still burning with
curiosity to know how he lost his hair. He
pressed hisonquiries with ail seriousness.
'How did I lose it?' said the young man.
"You'll tell, I am afraid.
'No, I swear I won't.'
'Weil, listen to me then. A year ago 1
was paying attention to a young woman—a
bewitching creature, but a perfect shrew
Whew ! what a temper that girl had ! But
i didn't know it, until—'
'When ?'
'About the lime I lost ray hair.'
'But how was that ?'
'Don't interrupt me. That girl was an aw.
fui jealous thing—awful! One night I wont
to the theatre with a cousin of mine—a deu_
ced pretty girl by the way—and tho other
one heard of it. I hadn't mote than got
home when ring-a-ting-ting wont tho door
bell, as if a demist was pulling it for a tooth.
All my folks had gone to bed, and so I went
to open the door. Who do you think I
saw 1'
'Your girl ?'
'Nobody else! I never was so frightened
in my life. The deuce would bo to pay 1
'William !' said she.
'My dear,' said I.
'You've been to the theatre.'
'Yes, my dear.'
'You took a girl ?'
'Yes, my dear.'
'Her eyes shone like a cat's. She sprang
towards mo—made a dasii at my hair—o,
dear!' sighed the young man, 'I can't tell
it all!—only— l've had to wear a wig ever
And the young man walked off with his
handkerchief to his face, while the Yankee
glided softly out another door, amid the gen
eral laughter of tho loungers.
.A CURIOSITY. —The name of a colored wo
man in Cra.wford county, Pennsylvania, is
Vine Davis. She is eighty-nine years old. She
can sec to pick up a needle in the dark, and
in the daytime cannot see across tho room.
So writes the marshall upon his census schd*
17*11 was a pertinent and forcible saying
of tho Empeior Napoleon, "a handsome
woman pleases the eye, but a good woman
pleases tho hoart. The one is a jewel and
he other a treasure."
17" Tlio drop that mingles with the flood
—the sand dropped on the sea shore—the
woid you have spoken, will not be lost.
Each will have ita influence and be felt, till
17* An Irishman, upon seeing a squirrel
shot from a tree, said 'faith and be Jabsrs
that was a waste of powder, (lie fall itself
would have killed the squirrel.'
A BLACK BLUE BEARD Thfre is a negro
living near Palestine, who is the father of
fif-ty six children, hafs buried seven wives,
and now, at the age of more than ninety
years, iscourting for the eighth wife.
Ie _ Now, pray, sir, do be quiet,
I wonder what you mean ;
Indeed, my glossy ringlots
Are shocking to be seen.
0 A kiss! well—did you ever
r- Hear of so bold a man ?
y I kinder think you'll get it,
0 That is, sir, if you can !
How dare—l vow he's going!
IS 0, that will never do !
I- Come back, dear Charles—don't go away ;
it I'm not MUCH vexed—are you ?
e There! there! you noedn'teat me!
But pray, remember this: *
If you must ask silly questions,
e That sometimes No—means—yes!
( Gen. Washington's Farm.
The farm ol General Washington, at Ml.
Vernon, contained, 10,000 acres of land in
one body, equal to about 15 square miles.
It was divided into farms of convenient size,
at the distance of two, three and five miles
from his mansion house. He visited these
farms every day, in pleasant weather and
was constantly engaged in making experi
j tnents for the improvement of agriculture
gome ideaot the extent of his farming op
erations may he formed of the following
facts: In 1787, he had 580 acres in grass ; j
sowed 600 bushels of oats; 700 acres with }
wheat, and as mucli more in corn, barley, I
potatoes, beans, peas, &e., and 150 with tur. j
' nips. His slock consisted of 140 horses ; |
112 cows; 236 working oxen, heifers and I
1 steers, and 500 slioep. He constantly em-I
i ployed 250 hands, and kept 24 ploughs going
during tlie whole year, whe.i the earth and
the stale of the weather would permit. Iu
1 j ftO, lift filauolilarail 1 fUI hnai. tor tlio usa
of his family, and provision for his
i for whose comfort he had great reward.
17 What a miserable cynic of an old
bachelor it must have been who wrota the
; ensuing description of marriage! He 'ought
j to be ashamed of himself—"Look at the j
great n.ass of marriages that take place j
! over the whole world ; what poor, contemp
! tible affairs they are! A few soft looks, a j
walk, a dance, a squeeze of the hand, a
,; popping of ihe question, a purchasing of a |
j certain number of yards of white satin, a
P ring a minister, a stage or two in a hited ,
| carriage, a night in a country inn, and the I
j whole matter is over. For five Or six weeks i
; two sheepish-looking persons are seen dan- I
| gling on each other's arms, loosing at wat- J
j ei-falls, or making morning calls, and guz - j
| zling wine and cakes, then every thing falls \
' into the most monotonous routine ; the wife i
■ sits on one side of the hearth, the husband ;
j on the othei, and little quarrels, little pleas
' | ures, little cares and little children gradually
[ gatiier rourd them. This is what ninety
; nine out of one hundred find to be the de
lights of matrimony."
17 A correspondent at Skunk's Manor
says that he has been 'treated like a dog, 1 and
he expects us to say how ! So have iccbeen
in our capacity, more times than you can
shake a stick. What dog was it that we
were treated tike ? Not like CARLO, not like
, TRUMP, not like SYPIIAX. To lie on a warm
rug, to lick a lady's hand, to eat crackers, to
' be led on tender line, to ride out in a car
, | riage, to be patted by a gentle hand, to have
; your part taken in all quarrels to pay noth
, j ing for board, washing, light, fuel— that's
j j being 'treated like a dog.' We should like
[ to be a dog at that rale.
! 17 "Why do you not admire mj® (laugh- j
j ter?" said a proud mother to a gentleman..
[ "Because." he replied, "I am no judge of'
paintings." "But surely," replied the lady, \
not in the lecst disconcerted by this rude re
flection. "You never saw an angel that was
not painted."
j 17 We know a man who is so mean thai ;
i lie buttons his shirt collars with wafers, lie ,
, j is a near relation to tho old codger who looks |
at his money through a magnifying glass.
11 By this means, he says a quarter looks as
r ' good as a half dollar.
i 1 C 7 An Irishman, travelling in n street i
3 that was paved, was neeosted by a dog with j
- a threatening growl. The traveller attemp- j
ted to pnlf up bne of the paving stones to j
throw at him but it was fast. 'Arrah,' 6aid |
• Paddy, 'what a country is this, where stones ,
3 are tied and dags let loose /'
3 ~,,,
' 17 It has often happened in military
movements, that soldiers with fevers and in- !
flamed wounds, have been exposed in wag- j
ons to rains and severe cold ; but in all ca- j
, ses recorded, t ey seemed the belter for the
, exposure, and to the astonishmeut of the ar
, my surgeons, theif fever patients cases all
1 recovered.
■ ... . |
17 "Come here my dear, I want to ask j
I you all about your sister. Now tell me true,
; has she got a beau ?" "No, it's the yellow
jaundice—the doctor says so."
| ■*'►
17 'Old age is coming en me rapidly,' as
I the urchin said when lie was stealing apples
from an old man's garden, and saw the own
| er coming cowhide in hand.
17 One of the most remarkable fact in
> tho diet of mankind, Is the enormous con
f sumption of tea and coffee. Upwards of
, 800,000,000 pounds of these articles are an- j
f nually consumed by the inhabitants of the
Aii unknown picture by Raphael has just
been discovered at Cremona. It represents
the Virgin kneeling and adoring tile intent
Savior. St. Josopii it In the back ground, in
one corner are tlio initials of Raphael, S. R.
It is said iu the Mtssagiert of Modena,
that the naked statues in the chilrchee at
Rome are to be covered from motives of
modesty. Canova's (Senilis ol Death in tke
Monument to Pope Clement is to be ihui
adorned, and the many little cherubs which
abound in various churches are no longer to
be left iu a state of improper oxposure. The,
immodest pictures are also te be improved.
Count d Orsay is, ii is said, engaged on n
painting of some magnitude, whioh is like'y
to excite a sensation. The President of tHfi
Republic, from okl acquaintance, was dis
posed to appoint him as ambassador to one
of the Courts of Italy, but the Minister for
boreigu Affairs remonstrated against the ap
pointment, and the intention was abandon
George isantl has met with a severe check
in the perusal of the authorities to allow a
play from her pen to be produced at "the
Theatre St. Martin, entitled "Claudia." Ev
erything had been prepared for it, aiid con
siderable expense had been incurred, when
the Censor stepped in, and politely anliounb
ed hi refusal of a license.
Lord Brougham's eye is now considered
to be quite safe by the most experienced of
London oculisie. Lord Brougham lias, du
ring his sojourn at his chateau near Cannes,
been engaged iu sum* .UOioJi ...
tai researches on the diffraction of light ;
and we have no doubt that his sight was
injured by tlie length and continuity of r3-
seaiches carried on in a dark apartment.
His lordship, in passing through Paris,
communicatee an account of his experiments
to the National Institute, and is at present at
Brougham Hail.
Mr. HoalJ has very honoiabiy discharged
all the outstanding claims of creditors for ar
ticles supplied either to him or Lola Monies
during their residence together in Paris.
Mr.Lewis, his agent, has just left, after
paying all the honest creditors in full, and
compelling others to strike off extortionate
demands. Lola has, it appears, made anoth
er effort but a vaiil one, to bring back the
runaway, She continues to receive month
ly her aliowauce of £5OO a year from Mr.
HeaU, but this is upon tlie express condition
that sho shall not "annoy him in any way
and it has been intimated to her ihdt if the'
name of Mr. Heald should be mentioned HI
her forthcoming memoirs, her allowance
will be stooped.
Lamartine went to England lately to sell
itis new book, The History of the Directory,
to some publisher. He said he would put
his whole soul in it— palpitant cTactualite it
would astonish Europe—and he would oon
tent himself with a poor five thoiisfinii
pounda as honorarium. The publisher de
clined the offer. He is soon to print it iti
Paris. Granier de Cassagnac, a noted news
paper hack, is writing on the samo subject
in opposi ion.
Frcm the Ptmisylvanian.
Jlnj >r Rlnke nt the Opera.
An eccentric western man,—-Major Billy
Blake,—ii "stopping" at one of our big ho
le's, and affords some excellent pastime to'
his fellow lodgers. On Monday night, sev
eral of thftrrt proposed a visit to tlie theatre,
—and tlie Major consented to be one of thb
party. They conducted Itim to the Italian
opeta and took possession of a box near the
stage. It was a new entertain ment for Ma
jor Billy. When ihe performance began,
his companions observed him stretching out
itis neck, with seeming artxiety to catch the
sounds, —for he was not advised by his
friends that the language of the vocalists
. was one to which it's our had n6t been ac
customed. His look ol puzzled disappoint
ment Showed that he had not succeeded in
making anything of the music. Af last,
when tin performer who does the base came'
out and executed a solo, —:he Major started
iike one electrified ami began to kindle tip' ;
1 —he jumped to the front ef the box, swore
! several transm'onta'no oaths, grinned fero'ci-
I ously and shook his fit at lite opera singer.
: His companions forced httn back to his seal
and enquired the cause of his excitement.
''Did'nt you hoar what that fellow In the
green jack -l sung out ?" sai I the Major foa*
| miniiwilh rage,—"Ho come over it two or
! three times ;—I see Major Blake; —I see
Major Blake ! —aid Billy Blake ! —the blaffied
old sinner! Then that ar little' woman run-
I ned out and sqnall'd—What foteli him here '
—-what fotch liim hero ? Greon jacket says
—tumble him out of the window, —right out
of the window ! rumble me out, oh? Left
me go, will you,? I'm going to jrimp o+er
j the fence and pitch into him 1" The Ma
jor's company tried to hold him back, and
begun to explain that tlie music was Italian,
and meant something very different from
what the Major supposed,— bfit ho was not
in a temper, to hear them. Breaking away
from his detainers, he began to clamber over
the ballustcr, with the design, as it seemed,
of reaching "groen-jaoket" on the stage,—
When some of the peace preservers of the
establishment laid hands on him and, with
some difficulty, forced him from ihe premi
ses. The Major's tiiends followed him irili)
the street, and entering into explanations
with tbe officers, obtained his release
17 White gloves conceal black hands