Newspaper Page Text
A* - v
• r W- V. Teyf.
wj VNTRT A Gllnore.]
THB STAR OF TUB WORTH
Is published every Thursday Morning, by
Weaver A Gflmore.
OFFICE—Up stairs in the New Brick building
on Use South suit qf Main street, third
square below Market.
TERMS :—Two Dollars nor annum, if paid
within six months from the time of subscri
bing ; two dollars and fifty cents if not paid
within the year. No subscription received
tor a less period than six months : no discon
tinuance permitted until all arrearages are
J, unless at the option of the editors.
ADVESTISEM*NTS not exceeding one square,
will be inserted three times for one dollar, find
twenty-five cents for each additional insertion.
Ji liberal discount will be made to thpse who ad
vertise by the year.
Fro m the N. O. Delta.
THE ®KKIETON HAND.
, - . BY JOHN O. DUNN.
flap tap 1 rap lap! at the door of tho heart;
Bap tap! with a loud demand !
Oh who is it raps at the Coor of the heart,
Crying, matter and spirit shall surely part,
The one to the dust, for dust thou art,
Ti.e rest to the spirit land ?
Tis I! 'tis I, who knocketh without,—
'Tie I of the Skeleton Hand!
Rap tap.' rap tap!—I have startled thee up
From the midst of a misty dream!
Rep, tap! rap, tap!—l have startled thee up
When thy lips were red from the deadly cup
And thy curses grew louder at every sup,
And thy orbs in a frenzy gleara'd
For 'tis I! 'tis I!, who knocketh without,
With a bony arm and a knuckle stout—
Tis I of the Sickle Keen !
Kap,tap! rap, tap! on the bony walls!!
whet, hot Art ready within? •
Rap, tap! rap, tap! or>l ie bony wallah -
Rap,(tap ! rap, tap!" Still louder it falls!!
I'll sent thee no longer these carnal halls—
CThou hast made them s den of sin!
Make ready! Make ready! 'Tis I without,
With a bony arm and knuckle stout—
Tis I of the Skeleton Grim!
Rep, tap! rap, tap!— But a voice of prayer
Gushed forth from tho sinful weight.
Rap, tap! rap, tap!—A voice of prayer
Went trembling upward, to spare—oh spare
For another year —a year to prepare
For the regions of glory and light!—
A year to prepare for him without,"
With the skeleton arm and the knuckle stout—
For him with tho breath of blight.
Rap, tap—no more! The year is given—
A year of neglect and crime.
Rap, tap—no more! A year is given
To fight in the fields where the righteous
For theirspotlessrobesand a heme n heaven,
But alas! how fleeting is time!
Tiapaste—and again is heart! without'
bony arm and the knuckle sfeut
Like a wild and deathly crime!
Rap' tap! rap, tap! on the bony walla!
What, ho! Art ready within?
Rap, lap! rap, tap ! on the bony walls-
Rap, tap! rap, Like the thunder it falls!!
I'M rent thee no longer these carnal halls,
Thou monster of falsehood and sin!
In a tumult of horror the spirit went out
O'er Avenius, with him of the knuckle stout!
With him of the Skeleton Grim!!!
[From the Public Ledger.]
Dissolve the Union I Never I
V * BT THE HKV. EDWAHD C. JONES, A. M
Dissolve the Union! never;:
'Twere e'en a madman's part,
The golden chain to sever,
Which girdles Freedom's heart.
What! Faction rear her Altar,
And discord wave her brand,
And hearts from duty falter,
At Party's base demand ?
Look up—'tis Freedom's temple
You long to overthrow:
And if your arm's uplifted,
A demon prompts the blow.
Think f every radiant column,
Has cost a Patriot's blood,
And would yo'u have them shattered,
Where long in pride they stood ?
That flag—that honored pennon,
Mirrored in every sea;
What, would you quench one beaming star,
Nor sink in infamy?
Rond it—and e'en its speechless fold,
So mercilessly riven,
Like martyred Abel's blood would cry,
For vengeance to the Heaven.
Dissolve the Union ! never—
Yon may not, if you would,
Go. Traitor, go for over,
And hide you where you should:
For he who breathes dissension,
To shake a people's trust,
Should cower back to nothingness,
Or crumble into dust.
Written for the Star of tho North.
Perplexities of a Mao with a Family.
"Well, Ella, I bec.xmc an initiated Odd
Fellow last night," said I to my gentle half
one morning at breakfast.
"Why, Mr. Poe!" and Eila dropped her
filled cup from her lips over he.rdress,shriek
ing most wildly as the coffee burnt her.
"I thought it best to tell you at once, for 1
desire to have no secrets from you."
"Indeed but I think this looks very much
like having secrets. I thought all last night
that some horrible dream was troubling you.
But no wonder. I understand it all now."
"But, Ella dear, it was not that that annoy
ed me in my sleep."
"Ah, I know you would be very loth to
confess, for you cannot but feel some reproa
ches of conscience for an attempted decep
"But my frank confession of my member
ship as an Odd Fellow should prove that I
ant free from any attempt to deceive you."
"Ab, your cunning will not avail you. 1
will set, and I cannot believe yeu fully hon
BLOOMSBURG, COLUMBIA COUNTY, Ml, THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 28, IBsof
est in this matter of wishing to have no so
crot from mo, until you prove this to me."
."And what further proof do yon ask ?" •
"That you disclose to mo tho secrets of
"What, those of the lodge ?"
"But I dare net."
"Pray why I"
"That itself is a part of the secret."
"Fie, I see it all," and Ella put her hands
over her face, and walked out of the room
She looked sad and sick when I next saw
her. I pitied her, and reproached'mysolf for
my rude disregard of her wishes. But what
was to be done ? I dared Jiot make a con
fession to hor, and J had not the courage to
explain and reason har out of her whim. I
was miserable, and felt that 1 deserved to be
so. My wife was agendo soul, and I must
be a brute to wound har feelings. Tell her
the simple secrets of tho order I dared not,
and for not doing it I would be subject to
perpetual importunities and suspicions. It
was strange that I could not haved acted
more discreetly in this matter ! What a per.
plexity this was again !
"Well, Doctor, I commend your respectful
treatment of your lady," said Mrs. Prim,with
a sly meaning wink, to me one morning, as
I paid her family a professional visit
"I certainly always attempt to treat her
with the utmost kindness and respect," I re.
plied half enquiringly, for I did not under
derstand her inuendo.
" But I was so pleased to hear that you
trusted her to a degree that few men venture
to do with their wives."
"I hope, indeed, she is to be trusted to any
extent in every respet, for I should feel most
meanly to find myself suspicious of her. But
pray explain yaurself, for I confess I do not
fairly understand you
"I had reference, sir, to your communica
ting to her the secrets of the Lodge," an
swered the lady in a lower tone, and half
distrustfully. And she added, after a little
pause ; for I was so astonished that I could
not reply at once—"But of course, I would
not for the world tattle this to any one else,
so you need not fear. I was so pleased with
your frankness toward your lady in this mat
ter that I could not refrain from compliment
ing you, as a merited act of justice."
"Your admiration is lost then, I must say
to you, Mrs. Print," I replied as soon as I
recovered from the shock of astonishment,
for 1 half some horrible plot to qn
I "Nay don't attempt to joko with me, for
you know, Doctor, I dislike tricks."
"I was never in more serious earnest than
when 1 say, that Mrs. Poe knows none of the
secrets of the Odd Fellows from mo. If your
information was true it might indeed work
me a sad injury."
"Then of course you would conceal your
breach of faith. Never mind, Doctor, 1 lor
give it for the sake of the love you bear El
la," and the dignified lady insisted upon be
lieving that I had been false to the lodge for
the sake of my wife, for sho declared site
had ''heard so."
* • • • •
Not long after this I paid a professional vis
it to Mr. Forsyth's family; and, while left a
lone with my patient, 1 heard something like
the following conversation carried on in ra
ther low voices, in the adjoining room."
"I say he's a brute to act so to his wife!"
"Yes, it's bad enough."
"How sorry 1 am for Ella."
' Ho, ho," muttered I, "so they're talking
"Yes," ropliod the secondvoico, "1 always
thought it would come to this with him."
"And now he'll get into bad company,and
run down the road of dissipation to .uttor
"Indeed, it's too bad!"
"He treats her just like a servant to his
family, and not at all like a wife. lam so
glad I had the prudence to shun him when
he attempted to annoy mo with his atten
"1 have perhaps still greater reason for
"How so, pray toll ?"
"Oh, il'souly an old flirtation of no con
sequence, that can now do neither credit nor
"What, with the doctor?"
"Y as, before I knew him so well as I do
"You may thank your stars that you es
"Indeed I do," and here there was a sup
pressed "ha! ha 1"
Here too there was a short pause in the
conversation. A third person seemed to come
into the room, and the talk wont on."
"Wc were talking, Mrs. Siddon, about the
brutality of Dr. Poe."
"Brutality!— The woakness or villainy you
should rather say. Why they say he had to
go and tell his wile all the Odd Fellows' se
crets. I think he must be extremely uxori
ous, or weak minded, or—"
"Oh no, Mrs. Siddon, the news is that he
brutally refused to tell his wife any thing."
"Why indeed I heard he told her every
tiling about the Odd Fellows—their secrets
"You must have been misinformed then,
for I heard possitively that he utterly, and
stubbornly refused to tell her any thing at
"Well, ho cannot attend our family any
| "Nor ..
"Nor ours either."
"Such a brute!"
"But, indeed, I think he told his wife tho
"Indeed he didn't."
Here I could contain myself no longer,and
with a smothered laugh, I accidentally kick
ed over a chair, the noise of which adjourn
ed the caucus of the adjoining room.
■i ■ .
Coming it over a Hatter.
Many years sinco, there did dwell in a
certain town not a hundred miles from that
far-famed place where Orthodox divines are
fitted up for their profession and calling, a
certain D. D. notorious for his parsimonious
ness, which would occasionally run into the
"Like a peach that's got the yallers,
With it's mealiness 'bustin out."
One day this of divinity chanced
into a hat store in this city, and after running j
over the wares selected an ordinary looking ,
ha'.-put it on his reverend head'ogled him- I
self in the glass-then asked the very lowest
price of it-telling the vender that if he could
get it cheap enough he thought he might buy
"But," said tho hatter, "that hat is not
good enough for you to wear hero is what
you want, showing one of his best beavers
"'Tis the best 1 can afford though," return
ed the theologian.
"Well, there, doctor—l'll make a present
of that host bearer, if you'll wear it and j
tell your friends whose store it came from
l'U warrant you'll send me customers
enough to get my money back with interest;
you are pretty extensively acquainted.
"Thank you-thank yon?" said the doctor
hiseyes gleaming with pleasure at raising a
castor so cheaply-how much may this bea
ver be worth ?"
"We selithat kind of hat for eight dollars,
replied the man of nap.
•' And the other ?" continued the reverend
The man of sermons put on tho beavers;
looked in the glass-then ot tho three dollar
"I think sir" said he-taking ofi tho beaver;
and holding it in one hand as he donned the
cheap "tile," I think sir that this hat will an
swer my purpose full as well as the best."
"But you had better take tho the bost one.
sir, it costs you no more."
"B-u-l—bu-t," replied the parson hesita
tingly—l didn't know—but—would
as lief I would take the cheap one-mid leave
the othor-and perhaps you would not mind
giving me the difference in a five dollar
bill !"— Boston Post.
How Put Learned to make a Fire.
"Can you make a fire, Pat?" asked a
gentleman of a newly arrived son of Erin.
"Indade I can, sia, and I learned to do
that same, yer honor, to my cost, sure—Whin
I came over, you see, there was no one a
long wid me, except meself alone, and my
sister Bridget. Whin,we got ashore, we
wont together to a boording house, the boor
dingmaster took me up stairs to a room, and
whin I went to bed 1 took tho coat and shirt
off my back, and for foar some dirty spal
peen would be after stealing 'em away snug
and tidy in a great iron cliist, that stood
right forninst the bed. lu tho mornin, whin
the day was breakiu through my winder,
sais I to myself," Tho lop av the mornin to
ye, Pat: is yer clothes safo ? "and I jist open
ed the door av the big chist, and 1)6 gorra,
the coat off mo body and the shirt off mo
back was burnt ashes. Be dad, sir, that ould
diril of a chist was a stove, bad luck to it; —
aud iver since, that, I've knowd how to kin
dle fires, sir."
A Rational Conclusion.
An honest Dutchman, in training up his
son iu the way he should go, frequently ex
ercised him in bible lessons. On one of
these occasions ho asked him:
'Who vas dat vat would not shleop mit
'Dat's a cootpoy! Veil, vat vas de rcasou
vy he would not shleep mit her?'
'Don't know—shpose he was not shleopy.'
VERY CLEVER. —They toll a good joko in
Paris of the F'rench polico, who seeing two
persons fighting, interposed, and said—"No
fighting in tho streets, you blackguards ; go
inside the Chamber, if you wish to do that "
IFA "State's cvidenco" has been defined
as tho term by which wo designate the wretch
who is pardoned fur being more base than
ty "Mr. Brown, 1 owe you a grudge, re
"I shall not be frightened then, fot I never
know you to pay anything that you owed."
fy Poverty is the mother of many arts—
That ocoounls for the fact that so many arts
are very "poor ones"—they "tako after their
BT"I'll watch and prey," as the fox said
when he saw a poultry yard.
EF*Malico is said to driuk ono-half of its
Troth and Right—God ftp our Country.
A WEDDING EXCURSION.
PROM THE UREAT WEST.
Tho evening the ceremony was performed
which made Tim and Rachael a unite, and
the company hod "liquored" all round, Tim
having previously "talked it up" with Rach
eljbolcily announcing the desperale resolu
tioh of starting tho next morning on a grand
tour of observation.
'He had always bin tu hum," he said,
"and never seen nuthin, and now he was
goin' straight to G , and afore he come
bock ho would BCO a steamboat if there was
such a thing any how."
Tho village of G was about fifty
mile 3 distant, lying on the Ohio river, and a
journey there from Tim's residence in those
days, was deemed a tr"""'
Some of itiein iliougni Tim had taken loavc
of hi 3 senses, or certainly he was not in
earnest, but he assured them he was, and
th next morning, tocking up "old gray,"
#hd putting in a tupply of poik and beans
for the journey. Tim and the now Mrs. Hig
gins started on their bridal tour The sec
ond day the hopeful pair, without accident,
arrived at G——. Just as they were enter
ing tho town it so happened that tho steam
boa*. Pennsylvania was rounding in to make
landing. Tim caught sight of her sraoko
pipes, aud in an ccstacy of wonder and de
light cried out;
"There sho cemos now, by hokey! Look
at her Rach ! Je-rr.-sa-lcm ! jest as Sq'rira
Stekely said—smokes like a burnin' toller-
Sire's comin in tu shore, tu! Jemima, what
a creek ! furdcr cross than from our houso to
Shodlow's tnill! ain't it Rach I See, they
are tying up the varmint with a halter.
Wonder if it's skeery and pulls. Here's a
post, let's tie gray, and go down to the crit
''Thunder! what's that? how it snorts!
You better keep way from it, Tim," said
Rachel; "it monght swaller you down like
"I ain't afcared," said Tim: "folks are
coining off on't now. She's good natured 1
reckon, only spirited"
By this time "gray" was made fast, and
Tim and Rachel were moving cautiously in
the diiection of the boat.
"No balking, ltachel, I'm going on to
Tho plank was out, and Tim, followed
slowly by Rachel, boldly walked up, and
soon stood along side the engine.
"See how she sweats, thoy must have put
her through, ' said Tkn. "J say, old boss, - '
said Tim, addressing *' e engineer, "movo
her jints a little, I waa't to see how she trav
"She'll move directly," replied the man of
steam, "belter keep out of her way."
Tim and Rachel now wendod their way to
the main deck, aud so completely were thoy
absorbed with what they saw, that they did
not observe the preparations making for her
departure. At the last tap of the bell, Tim
thought there must be a meetin' somewhere,
but had no idea it was anything which con
cerned him. At length, as Tim afterwards
expressed i:, "alio began to breathe hard, &
the water began to smash," aud Tim for tho
first time, observed they were in the midst
of the liver.
"Hello hero, old boss!" screamed Tirn;
"1 say, cap'n, what you 'bout? where you
goin' tu ?"
They were now under full head-way, and
Tim saw the town and old gray disappear
ing like magic.
"Thunder, why don't you hold in ?" roar
ed Tim, "she's running away.—VVhat'll 1
do ? Oh Lord, cuss the critter—can't sho bo
A wag, who comprehended poor Tim's
"You are in for it now, my friend, wo
don't stop till we get to Orleans."
"1 told you to keep way from the blasted
varmint," screamed Rachel; "now what will
become of us ?''
Tim was in despair. At this moment the
steamer's whistle uttered one of its sharpest
notes, and Tim's hair stood on end.
"She's loose, sqncoling and kickin!"
shrieked Tim. "Oh Lord, Rachel, wo are
lost," and tho absence of the knowledge of
any prayer, ho tried to repeat a part of tho
blessing he had heard Deacon Snively ask
at the table.
By this limo tho captain had learned of
poor Tim's misfortune, and kindly ordered
the boat to land, and Tim and Rachel once
mora stood on terra firma.—Footing it back
with all possible dispatch, they found old
gray still fast to tho post, and not many min
utes elapsed before head was turned home
ward, with Tim and Rachel, who wore per
fectly satisfied with what they had .seen of
tho world in general, aud their experience
iu steamboaliug in particular.
Bcmisstonof Punishment. — We learn from
tke Frederick Examiner, that Gov. Thomas
has commuted the punishment of John Tho
mas, convicted iu Frederick City' in Novem
ber last, on his own confession, of the murder
of Mrs. Preston, and ser.tenced by the Court
to be hung, to confinement in the Penitenti
Bustles are all a fleeting show,
For man's illusion given,
They're filled with bran or stuffed with tow,
And slick out about 'a feet or so,'
On six girls out of seven.
EF* The Bank at Danville is in operation.
TO MY WIFE.
BY REV. 0. W. BETHUNE.
Afar from thee! The morning breaks,
But morning brings no joys to me ;
Alas my spirit only wakes
To know that 1 am far from theo !
In dreams I saw that blessed face,
And then wort nestled on my breast ;
In dreams I felt tby fond embrace,
And to my own thy hoart was pressed.
Afar from thee ! 'Tis solitude,
Though smiling crowds around me be;
The kind, the beautiful, the good—
For I can only think of thee.
Of thee, the kindest, lovliest, best,
My earliest, and my only one;
Without thee I am all unblest,
And wholly blest with thee alone.
Afar from thee! Tho words of praise
WJ LLBTICSV VAT UIILIOCDIJLT' j
What sweetest seemed in better days,
Without thee seems no longer sweet;
The dearest joy fame can bestow,
Is in thy moistened eye to see,
And in thy cheek's unusual glow,
Thou deem'st me not unworthy thee.
Afar from thee! The night is come,
But slumbers from my pillow lice;
1 cannot rest so fartjom home,
And try heart's home is, lovo, with thee !
I kneel before the throno of prayer,
And then I know thou art nigh ;
For God, who seeth everywhere,
Bends on us a watchful eye.
Together in his !ove embrace,
No distance can our hearts divide;
Forgotten quite the mediate space,
I kneel thy kneeling form beside;
My tranquil frame then sinks to sleep,
But sours the spirit Jar and froo ;
O welcome be night's slumbers deep—
For, then, de„r love, I am with thee !
t Dow, JR., DKXIUBKS life at twenty in
tho following unique manner;
"FRIENDS, at twenty we are wild as partrid
ges. There's no such thing as taming us;
we ride that fierce, and headstrong animal,
Passion, over fences, ditches, hedges on to
the deyil—leap the five-barred gate of rea
son without touching the curb cf discration,
or pnlling harder than a tit mouse, upon the
strong rein of judgment. And twenty you
ate perfect locomotives, going at the rate of
sixty miles an hour, your heart the boiler,
lovo the steam which you sometimes blow
off in sighes,—and hope, fear, anxiety and
jealousy, are the train that you drag. At
this season of life you are filed with exhilir
ating gas of romance eve."}' thing looks ro
mantic by spells—oven a jackass philoso
phising over a barrel of vinegar. You (both
;'i.ls and boys) now road novels till your
gizzards have softened into a sentimental
jelly, aud settled into the pit of your stom
ach. Oh ! I know how you feel! —you feel
aa tho' you would like to soar from star to
star! kick little planets aside, lake qrazy
comets by their blazing hair, and pull 'them
into their right courses, sit on the highest
lak of a thunder cloud and dangle tho red
i lightning between your thumb and fingers,
as a watch-chain, and then dive into'thc gol
don sunset sea and sport with the celestial
syrens, speed on, pull the nose of the man
in the moon, ransack all creation, knock a
few panes out of Ileavon, and then flutter
down gently as a breeze and find the dar
ling object of your lovo mending stockings!
Tnat's how you feel."
Our life is dying with the dying yoars.
Such is tho inevitable course of nature. But
wisdom, truth and love, and above all, the
heavenly grace from whence they spring,
can, under another law, save life—save the
whole of life—its buds, its blossoms, its
fruits, and treasure them up forever. Our
true life is not in the ordinary measures of
time—in setting suns, and beating hearts—
but in our thoughts, our sentiments, our
principles, our doods. Just as wo consecrate
ourselves to wisdom, truth and lovo, just as
God and Christ reign in us, just so far wo
live a deathless life, and nothing is lost to
us. Our progressive life now becomes an
accumulation of life. Every year, instead
of taking away, adds to our store. The good
old man who lias ulways walked with God,
carries all his years with him into immortal
ity.—N. Y. Evimgclist.
SIMPLE CURE FOR CROUP. —Wo find in tho
Journal of Health the following simple rem
edy for this dangerous disease. Those who
have passed nights of almost agony at the
bedside of loved children, will treasure it
up ns an invaluablo piece of information.
If a child is taken with croup, instantly ap
ply cold water, ice water if possible, sud
denly ond freely to tho neck and chest, with
a sponge. The breathing will almost instant
ly be relieved. So soon as possible, let the
6nffered drink as much as it can; thon wipe
it dry, cover it up warm, and soon a quiet
slumber will relieve tho paront's anxiety, &
lead the heart in thankfulness to the power
which has given to the yure gushing foun
tain such medical qualities.
THE Census Bill, now before the United
States Senate, provides that tho enumeration
shall commence in June, and that the re
turns shall be completed in October. The
forms must bo printed and distributed before
the first of June. If the bill were to pass
this week, this would be possible; but the
bill will hardly become a law before April
next. The Census Board have proposed a
system of inquiries, and the Census Com
mittee another system; but there is no es
sential differenco between them. The oen
sus will cost <1,200,000. The last one cost •
AN ELOQUENT APPEAL.
The following is the eloquent close of a
speech lalely delivered in Congress by Hon.
James McLanahan of this state upon the
subject of slavery and disunion :
"With us tho preservation of the Union is
a paramount consideration. We cling to it
as the sheet-anchor of all our hopes. We
venerate it as the ark of the conveuant of
our rational oxhistence, and withered be tho
hand that sacrilegiously touches it. The
great confederation of sister States cannot
perish; it must not be. Having manymem
bers, the republic has but one body. This
nation has but one hoart, and every pulsa
tion of that heart beats high for the Union.
Sir, cool, cunning, deliberate calculations
have been made in this Capitol as well as
will not stop to point out the miserable fal
lacy of sucn calculations. My feelings re
volt at the mournful task.
Judas Iscariot sold his Lord and Master
for thirty pieces of silver. Conscience-stung
ho flung back at the feet of those who had
bribed htm the glittering treasure, and hang
ed himself. His bloated and disembowelled
body fell a disgusting spectacle to the earth,
and his guilty spirit went hissing to hell.
That American citizen who should betray
his country, and barter away the Union for
mere pecuniary considorations_doserves no
But, sir, I say again, this Union is safe.
If tho President of llio United States and
Congress assembled cannot preserve it,
twonty millions of freemen can and will;
and wo be unto him who, either North or
South, raises the traitor cry of disunion. Au
invisible but an electric chain of national
sympathy binds the jieople of this country
indissolubly together in one common bond
of brolheihdou. It ia their pride and theii
glory to be one. What, sir, dissolve this
Union.'—a Union comented by the highest
and holiest associations of the past, the
proud triumphs of the present, and the glo
rious prospects of the future! Never! Dis
solve this Union ! God of my country for
ty A Returned Californian, at Boston
with $22,000 of the dust, ran away with a
nother man's wife. They were pursued and
caught. Tho Californian agreed to pay the
injured husband's travelling expenses, take
| the lady off the old gentleman's bands, and
I call accounts square. This "compromise"
1 was agreed to and the parties separated ,rau
! tually satisfied.
"DOWN EAST," somewhere, a pious old
! lady was summoned as a witness in an im
portant case.—Having lived in the back
woods all her days, she was wholly unac
quainted with the rules of a court ot justice.
Being told that sho must "swear," the poor
woman was filled with horror at tho thoughts
After much persuasion she yielded, and hnet
ing told to "holdup her right hand,"
so, exclaiming, " Well, if I must
The court immediately adjourned. 19
IRISH DENIAL —An Irish boy, who was try
ing to get a place, denied that he was an
Irish boy. "I don't know what you mean
by not being an Irishman," said the gentle
man who was about hiring him; "but this I
know, you were born in Ireland." "Och,
your honor," Baid the boy, "that's all small
blame to that. Suppose 1 had been born in
a stable, would I have been a horse?''
CP* Some curious person at the North has
been calculating the area of the territory of
the Unitod States not yet organized into Sta
tes not yet organized into States, and finds
that we have domain enough for forty six
and a half States as large as Pennsylvania.
Of these, thirty five will lie north of 36° 30
min. and be free States, if that fine of
compromise was adopted.
tSPThe following colloquy came off be
tween two belles, one evening m')he draw
ing room, at a ball, between the dances.—
"Beck, how docs my head geer look?" "O,
like a jilty flower!" "What did Mose Jewell
say about me?" "He said you looked slick
as a candle, and slicker toe!" "Gingcrarion
—None, let,s fix and go in agin!"
LAUGHABLE. —To see half a dozen uncles,
one or two brotheis, and an old maiden aunt
of seventy, holding consultation to t'evise
ways and means" to prevent a young girl
from marrying the "feller she leves." It's
just about as ridiculous, as to see an intoxi
cated inan attempt to should :r his owu shad
137* A certain Irish attorney threatened to
prosecute a Dublin printer for inserting the
death of a living person. The menace con
cluded with tho remark, that "no printer
should publish a death unless informed of
the fact by the party deceased.
"Is that clean butter?" asked a grocor, to
a boy who had brought a quantity to mar
ket. "I should think it ought to be," re
plied the boy, "lor marm aud Sal were more
than two hours picking the hairs and motes
out of it last nigt.t."
Divorce in Massachusetts. —There are said to
be in the county of Suffolk, (Mass.) embra
cing Boston alone, forty-eight suite for divor-
I eo, now ponding before the Supreme Court.
[Two ; Dollars per Aunum'
There is en Article in the February num
ber of Hunt's Merchant's Magazine, which
ought to be procured and carefully read by
those ''democratic" dough-faces wfco periodi
cally disgrace themselvos by oflering; •'pro
tective' resolutions and making high tariff
speeches in our State and National Legisia
tures. We commend it to the particular at
tention of Simun Cameron and Henry
The article alluded to is Written by Gpn'l,
C. T. James, of Rhode Island, who is largely
interested in the new ootton factory •at Har
risburg, and is a reply to the clamors of Mr.
Amos A. Lawrence, in a previous number of
the Magazine, for more protection to the
cotton manufactures of the country.
four first rate mills, which,.according to their
declared dividends, had oamed a little more
than 8 per cent, on the aggregate capital for
elevon years past—and this was not enough
more "protection" was needed]! Now there
are hundreds—perhaps we might say there
are thousands of farmers in tho Cumberland
valley, who work from morning till night, in
heat, cold, and rain, who do not cloar any
thing like 8 per cent, on their capital*invest- 1
ed. These hard-working men would be'
laughed at if they askod the government to
But Mr. Jaraos, himsolf a manufactured,
says tho manufacturers make much higher
profits than they admit or tlieir published
dividends show, and ho explains tho matter
in the following satisfactory way :
"As to dividends—what a criterion do they
atford, by which to judge of the amount of pro-'
fitst Neno at all. A company]jnay~wiehf
a capital of 8300,000, and owe one half of it.
They may earn $150,000 in one year, or 50
percent on the capital ; 'and, instead of de
claring a dividend, take tho profits to pay
the debts. There arc a great many compa
nies, one of them as wealthy and as success
ful as any in New England, which latter was
established in 1808, and tho othera since,
which have never declared a,dividoud ;.but
all have made how .with tile
first-class Lowell companies* Have thoydi
vided all their, profits ? „ Or have lhey]reserv
ed a groator proportion from yearjto year, to
bring up a nominal capital to a real one, and
to build new and extensive cotton-mills as
most of them have done* Mr. Lawrence
has given us no light] from the books on tins
point. One company, to bo sure, ho tolls
us, has made a stock dividend this year of
25 per cent., which amounts to $500,000. —
Thin niuncj'hsn Owen expended tn the erec
tion of a new cotton-mill. This amount and
more, was on hand last year; but, had Mr.
Lawrence's statement been made out of them,
wo should have heard nothing of it. Is it
not true, that vast amou nts of profits frpm
Logtell mills have thus been reserved and
HJWSIcd, even within ten or five years past,
IBRirhich not even stock dividends have
Eagta declared f If so, what reliance can be
Uttered otiTMr- Lawrence's columns of de
■flpred dividends, as to the amount of profits*
™ho can tell "byjlicm whether the profits
have averaged 8 percent., 18, 28, I—
Some of these mills are reported, W1849,
with two thousand more spindles .than in
1845, and so on, up to twelve thousand
more; yet they represent no increase of cap
ital stock. How is this, if the business has
been so extendedjby moans of new subscrip
Besides tho voluntary testimony of Mr.
Jamos as to tho profitableness of American
cotton manufactures, under the exis'ting tar
iff, we have other strong evidence furnished
us in the fact that an English house has sent
out to Boston a cargo of Ginghams mado in
exact imitation of those manufactured at the
'•'Lancas'er Mills" in this country. Even tho
labels of the American goods have been im
itated by the English manufacturer. This
shows thaj tho Americans haveTairly beaten
out foreign "competition in the article of
Ginghams, at least, reducing the Englishman
to Jjie degrading necessity of counterfeiting in
order to get a sale for his goods. Does a ta
riff that produces such results as these neon
amendment ?— Valley! Spirit.
WM. C. PRESTOH, of S. C.—The Baltimore
Sun on the authority of a letter from Col
umbia, S. C., denies the Now York Tribune's
statement, that the Hon. Wm C Preston has
become hopelessly imbecilo, from softening
of the brain. He is still discharging Jhi* in
tellectual duties as President of South Caro
IT Barono Boenne, Envoy Extraordin
ary and Minister Plenipotentiary of tho Cen
tral Power of Germany at Washington, tho
Republic announces, has been recalled, a
new central power having boon constituted
Of The Iron Works at Kitlanning, (Pa)
ure, it is said, to be greatly improved, and
will be put in blast in April or May next.
CTGold and Silver are metals quito too
heavy to be carried to Heaven, but, in good
hands, they may pave the way to it.
U" "You have broken the SabbatteJohn
ny," said a good man to his. MB,.
said his little siste., and Mather's long eomb
too, right in threo pieces !' .
HT The conscience don't
trouble an honeifcjpßP*