u
DEMOCRAT
AND BLOOMSBURG GENERAL ADVERTISER.
LEVI L. TATE, EDITOR.
TERMS : $2 50 IN ADVANCE,
"TO HOLD AND TRIM THE TORCH OF TRUTH AND WAVK IT O'Btt TIIK DARKENED EARTH."
Vol. 19. no. 26.
BLOOMSBURG-, COLUMBIA COUNTY, PENN'A,, SATURDAY, AUGUST 26, 1865.
VOLUME 29.
Baltimore look hospital
Ualtimoro, Md.
ESTABLISHED as a REFUGE FROM
QUACKERY.
The; Only Place where a Cure can be ob
t ciined.
Dr. Johnson Las discovered tho most
Certain. Speedy, and only Effectual Remedy In the
World for Weakness of the Back or Limbs, Strictures
Affections of the Kidneys and Uladder, Involuntary
blsehames. lmpotoncj, General Debility. Nenom
noss. Dyspepsia, I.ancuor. I.otv Spirit.. Confusion of
Ideas. I'ntpttAtioti ef tbo Heart, Timidity, Trembling,
Dimness of Sight or Giddiness. Disease of the Head
Throat, Nose, or Howcls-lhoso Terrible Disorders
..i.i,,. rrntn gulltarv IlabitK of Youth- secret and
solitary pracllci more fulal tu their victims than tlio
tont of syrens to the Mariner, of Ulsses, blighting
their most brilliant horos or anticipation), rendtrinp,
aiarrloiie. J"., Impossible.
x YOUNG MEN
Especially, who have become the vlcllms of Solitary
Vice, that dreadful and destructive habit which nnnu.
nil) sweeps to nn untimely grave thousand, of young
men of tho' mot eialtfd talents and brilliant Intellect,
who nilglit otherwise have entranced listening Son.
ies ith tho thunders of eloquence, or waked to
alac) the liv l"S lyte. niay call with full confidence.
MAHIIATGE.
Married per"n, or young men contemplating mar
tinge, being aware of ph.vi.lcnl utnsiicss, organic do
biiiewhop!aciiiiiiieiruBdt.rihocaronf iir j. may
rtliglOUHly COlinue III ins llimur US a Krn.ieiiinii, unv.
confldsnlly rely upon his skill as a physician-
OUGANIC WIIAKNBrirJ
ui niediatelj Cured and full vigor restored.
This dlstressl-ic; affection which renders llfuiuis
erable and marriage impossible-is l!u penalty pal
by the victims of improper indulgences ouiig per
eons ar too apt to commit rxiesses from not being
n are of tho dreadful consequence-, that may ensue.
Now, who that understand thu subject will pretend to
tany that the power of procre ntlnu is lot sooner by
those falllni! into improper habits than by tho pru
dent ( Hosid.s li-iug deprived ol the phasure ol heal
ley offspring, the mint serious mid destructive symp
hms o both body and mind arise. The System be
comes deranged, the physical and mental functions
wcaitcued, Loss of i'rocruatlvo power. Nervous Irri
tability, Dyspepsia, Palpitation of tlw Heart, Indigos
linn, Ooiistltutior.l liebilliy. it Wasting ol the I'rame
Cough, Consumption, Decay and De.ith.
Dll. JOHNSTON,
Member of the Uryal College ol t-irgenn, Lnudoii.
Graduate from ons of the most cuiineiit Colleges in the
United Stales, and the greater part of who-m life has
been spent In t hospitals of London, Paris, Phila
delphia, and elseu lieu-, has effected some ol the most
astonishing rures that were ever known s many trn u
bled with ringing in the hrad and ours when asleep,
great nervousness, being alarmed at siid.len sounds
ba-hfulness, with frequent blushing, ntlendid oine
times with di-rauguicnl or mln.l, were cured iiunieiil
utely. TAKC PA'JTICUI.AP. NOTILT
Dr. J. addresses all tlmsewho have injured them,
reives by improper indiilgeiue and solitary habits,
sthicli ruin botk bod) ntid mind, unfitting them for
sillier biiHiieire, study, . riily, or marriage
Th"'B nrehoni". of th sad und inelaiith'dly effects
prndmeii ,y i-arlv Habits o'f ynulli, vli; HVakncss of
tlio Ilrak aim Limbs, rains in the Head, Dimness ol
Pilit, Los ot Mu-cular 'owei. Palpitation el" lh
Heart ll)pepla, Nervous Irritability. lK-raiip-ini-ni
of the llfgeetiie Fuiulions, Ceueral Debility. Syuip
tO'OS Of I'.lll.lllllpltiill, f-c.
Mihallv 'I hefeartiil effects on tho mind are lurch
t b:i oreailed. Los. of memory. Confusion of Ideas,
D iition nl spirits. Lvil I'lisbodliu. Aversion to
Mocietj Self Hi.uast, Lov of nude, Tiinldiiy,S.c
are sum" of the vi produced.
Ihousauds of porsons of all ages can now Judge
whnt is Hie cause ofihcir iliiliiilng liealtli, luslnglbeil
vliror, hemming weak, pale, in ri us and en acintsd,
linving a singulur appearance about thj eyes, tough
aud sjifiptoios tif Consimptiuu.
YOUNG MEN
who have, injured thi ms'vcs by a CJrtsin practice. in
Uot(-d in when aliiiie, a habit frequently lesrn.-l Irom
evil companions, or at school, the edicts of i.hich aru
nightly lelt. even when asleep, and, if not cured ren
d r6 marriage impossible and destroys butli iiiinj and
body, should apply iniinedlalcly.
v hat ii pity Hint a young man, the hepo of our conn
t rv, the pride of Ins parents, hnul.l bo snatched from
.11 prorprcta and enjoyments ot Itle, by the conse
ouencoof deviating from ihe path of nature, and ill
dnlg in; in u t.-riniu sunt liul.it. Suili persons must,
before coot, luplaliu
MARRIAGE,
rf fWt that a sound mind and body are the most neces
sary renuisites l promote tunmibial Irippiness In
deed, without these the Journey thruurhWife becomes
aweary pilgrnni.e i the prospect hourly darkens to
thn view, the mum becomes nwitimveii wiui ucspjir
and filled with the melnucliolly r 11. rtlon that tint lup
piuess of a'lollier becomes blighted with our own,
Office, 7 South FrcJirkI: Slrcc',
Isfi huid side joiug from llaltlmoie street, a few doors
from the comer. Fail not to observe name and nuni
fcer.
rrj- s'o letters rai:elvud iinltss oostnni I and con
laininiz a -tamn to be used on the reply, l'i rsons
writing should slate ae and suudportiou of advertise
mint desi riluug sjiiiplouis
The doctor's Diplonie hangs in his offico.
Endorsement of the Press.
The many thousands cured at this establishment
within the last twenty year, and the (numerous im
portant Surgical operations performed, b) Dr. Johns
ton, witnessed I y the repo-ters of Tlu Sun ami many
,.hr nnr... iintlres ol winch li'io anneured again
and again bt'oro tho public, bi sides Ins sthiiding as a
gentleman m uiaracter nun rusp-jnsiuiui), mmi
eienl guaranty to the adlliled.
Shin Diseases Spctdily Cured,
April le65.-ly
UP DE GRAFF 'S
EYE AX1) IvAK IMMAUIAUT,
(On the Hquatv, Thrtc Doors from Steele's Hote I
WILKESBARRE, PA.
rimiS INSTUTION is now opened and
J furnished in tho most costly Btylo. Reception.
Privatoand Operating Rooms aro large, convenient and
well adapted. The Surgical apartment contains tho
flnest collection of instruments in this country, and
thus his faculties will enable him to meet any and all
emergencies in practico He will operate upon all the
various forms of ULINDNESS, Cataract, Oceluon of
the Pupil, Cioss Eyes, Closure of the Tear Ducta In
srtrsion of ll.o F.yelidB, Pterygium. &c., c. And will
treat all forms of Sores, F.yo Crannied Lids, Opacetios
of the Cornea, and Scrotulous diseases of lh Dye to-
f ether with all the diseases to which the Lye is sub
set. DEAFNF.SS Will Heat all tho diseases common to
the organ. Discharges from the I'.ar, Noises in the L'ar
Catarrh, dilficuliy of hearing.tntal De ifnesa even w here
tha Drum is destroyed. Will insert an artificial mic
answering nearly all the purposes ofthe natural
DISEASES OF THE THROAT, All diseases
flci
(lotion there has been no fallures.it having met the
I........... ...... .nl.,1,,,, ni -,ll t.-lmlmvi, kill.,,, lloU IO it
ARTIFICAL EVES.-Willinsertnttitielnl Eyes glv
lug them th motion and eipresion of the natural.
iiieyare inserted with the least pain.
Ilb.liuiiuuuiu.'-, l lie.,; tui. .r.i,u,t...., -
s readily cured. Those suffering fromll will do wel"
,0ICr!'ijp De Graff visits Wilkes-Darre withavlewof
building up a permanent Institute for tho trcutmenl or
the Eye, Ear and General Surgery. The experience or
more than a quarter of a century In Hospital and goner
al praclice.ho hopes, will bo a sufficient guarantee 1
those who may be disposed to employ him,
May U, leOItr.
TINWARE & STOVE SHOP.
r Mtn undersigned respectfully tnforiui is old frlond
X and customers, that ho has purchased his brothers
Merest n iUe above establishment, andthe toncern wils
beieeflei be conducted by himself exclusively.
, lie has Just received ana oners tor sain, uie isig-
I est aim most ewcnslve assortmenioi rian
STOVES ever introduced Into this market.
Ills stock consists of a comDlete assortment of
inon to the Throat and Nose will be treatea
GENERAL SUIWiERV.-lle will operate upon Club
j-eot. Hair Lip, Cleft Pallato, Tumors, Cancers. I.nlar
BudTeneils, sic. Plastic operations by healing new
ah into deformed parts, ami uencrai ourgeiy ui
VVOalevcr cnaractsr it may present.
HERNIA (or RUPTURE.)- Ho will perform "Lab us
operation for the rwdical (complete) cure of Hernia,
this is unquestionably a perfect cure. and is none nun
i..,.. .... I., r .fw,n hr,tr,i nm-rntcd unnum
tre best Cooking and parlor stoves in the market, togeth
a with Stove Fixtures of every description, Oven snd
Su Stoves, Radiators, Cylinder Stoves, Cast Iron Air
fesjtht stoves, Cannon Stoves, fee. cc. Stovepipe and
-fKsvare constantly on hand and manufactured to order,
iiiauds of repairing done, as usual, on short notice,
VUo patrccaga of c!i friJ3.it se i na-j- t uitomart r
u.fu!ly s5ll"i. A Roriilir
Hmiburj, Ko embej 311(80 -tf
Purify the Blood.
TUE OP.EATK5T MKDK.'tNB OF TflC A fin,
A aurc antidote for sickness, and a refuge from
Sorrow, Fain and Disease.
Bryan's Life Pills,
ENTIRELY VEGETABLE.
They aro admitted to be the
Best Family Medicine
lor gontiral use. rnrifyi'U the mood and cloaaning
the aytem from all impurity
Bryan's Life Pills
to regulata the Etnniach. Uvcr and Biliary Secre
tions which is the chief cause of nervousness, Olddl
nc hh, Dimness of Sight, Headache, ctck Stomach and
other Kindred complaints
Ilundrods of Certificate c.ui bo Shown.
They have been used by thousands nlth success,
; Bryan's Life Pills
Aro adapted for all Ages & Constitutions,
They aro composed of the active principles of Herbs
mid Hoots culled from nur llslds and forests. They
arc mild but certain In their operation producing
neither criiuins, crinim: oalns or sickness. They
liny be taken by ail ages, sexes or condition without
tear.
BryaDt's Life Pills, Cure Htsudache.
Bryant's Life Pills, Cure Sick Stomaob
Bryant's Life Pills, Curo Giddiness.
Bryant's Life Pills, Purify tho Blood.
A Box of Bryan's Lira Pills will cost
BUT TWENTY FIVE CENTS.
They will accoinpliiu faithfully all that is represented
'1 hey are elegantly put up by tho proprietor, who
was the Inventor ofllltVAN'S PULMONIC WAI'LUt)
a medicine long and favorably known to the American
Nation.
If you wish to buy DIIYAN'3 LIl'C PILLS and can
not gel lliem ol your druggist, dont lake an other,
but send Twenty l'lvn Cents in a letter to the proprie
tor, and you will get lliem by return of mall, post
paid Addiess
UK. J. JJKI'AjN,
Box 5070, 70 Cedar Street, N. Y.
Som nv DrtrunisTs Ckm.rsli.t.
F.MDAfl. NAUNttS Sl CO., N. V. Wholesale Agents.
July 13, leU5. February 11, ItbS. y
TO THE
MUSICAL PUBLIC.
rMIE subscriber, 20 years a practical
1 Piano I'orlo Manufacturer, of Now S'ork City,
has lvTiim entlv located in Ibis section, and would
respeetiully solicit orders for
TUNING, REPAIRING, AND REG
ULATING PIANO FORTES
AND MELODEONS.
Tbo subscriber is also tbo manufactur
er's Agent for
Cbiokeiiug & Son s,
Hnzlrtou Bro's,
Lindc.nan & Son's,
William B. Bradbury's,
Edward BloowDrld's,
McDonald & Co's
PIANO FORTES,
And Caibart & Ncedham's, and Feloubci'i
IVIelotleons and Harmoniums,
And L. U Stuart's Pipe CHURCH ORGAN'S,
james McDonald.
nieoinsburg, Ma) SO, ISii.-ly
COLUMBIA
Insurance Company,
COLUMBIA, LANCASTER Co., Pa.
Cash Capital dc Assets $500,000.
(ClIiUVl i-K ri,iti-ui u.in ;
Directors :
S. C Slaymakcr, John W. Stcacy, John Fcndrlrh,
Ssi-niel Shnch. Win. Pation. Amos S. (Jreen.
Uobt T. ltyon, M. . Siiuman, Oeo Young Jr..
N. McDonald, 8. F. Eberiein, II. U Minicli,
Ediiiond Spering.
AMOS S C.REEN I'res't.
,M. S. SI1UMAN, Treasurer
nrn vnrvfi. Jr.. Secretary.
ny Wll insure property lit as reasonable rates as
will be consistent to inn company unu iuubg niauivti
L. II CONOVER, Agent,
Bcaob Haven, Pa.
June 10. 18CJ.
momim
Insurance Company,
WILKl'.S-ilAURB I'CNNA.
CAPITAL AND SiWLS, $150,
ASSETS.
fttock not called in.
Hills receivable, .....
it H 5 .'u liontts.
150,000
40. DIM
Temporary and call loans,
IU3 .lures Wyoming Hank Stock,
50 shares First National Dank at W ilks-narre,
0,000
b.lrfO
5,000
-n .h...... Hi mud National Dallk.it Wilkes-llarre. T.tsi'l
Id shares Wtlkes-llarre Undgo Stock, .
Real IMate. liJ'-J
(.inmenth. - - ' lu"
. m- . . 4,
Due Irom Agents and others,
Cash In hanu ami in uaus,
i,e
GiClS'lTlrttS.
O. M. IIOLLENUACK,
JOHN REICH ARD.
SAMUEL WADHAMS.
CHARLLS DORRANCE,
It. 11. LACOE.
L. D. SHOEMAKER.
11. M HOYT.
O. -ULL1N0,
Wm.B ROSS,
CHARLES A MINER,
SI EWART I'lERCE
C. M HARDING.
. M HOLLEMIACK, Prnitnt.
L. I). SHOEMAKER, Vict Vrttl.
t. C. SMITH. StcRiFY. ,,,,. . .
1', DROWN, Agent,
March 2J, ia 1 1 msburg, I'a.
St. Charles Hotel,
Cor. Wood and Third Streets
TIT'I'SBURG.
Conveniently totaled to the Depot and central Initio
City. 1 lie best .mention paiu tu uuvciis-is, ivno
moderate.
8EITI1ER & RIAL,
Proprietors
Julyl, 13M.-ly
TiOOKET DIARIES. PIIOTOGRAPH
I ALUUMS k ALBUM riCTURES, -'elling at
very low prices for cash. W, o. I .?
MarcU 1. IB05. S. W, cor. it Race, Phila
TLANK BOOKS & STATIONERY
J suppled to Btnxi. Merchants end County Officers
-"T. t - . . srJ. I... mall tAsvknlta a
1 Msithl, Wi
i.nded to.
Jlh tni Bice ettteti, I'hll'a.
Select Poctrn.
Smilo and Be Content.
The world grows old, and men grow cold
To each whilst seeking treasure j
And what with want, and care, and toll,
We scarce have time- for pleasure
Cut never mind, that is a loss
Not to bo lamented ;
Life rolls on gaily, if we will
liut smile and be contented,
If n e are poor and would bo rich,
It will not bo by pining ,
No 1 stendy hearts and hopeful mindt
Are life's bright silver lining,
Thers's ne'er a man that dared to hope.
Hath of his choice repented ;
The happiest souls on earth, arc those
Who smile and aro contented.
When grief doth cnine to rack the heart,'
And fortune bids us sorrow,
From hope wo may a blessing reap.
And consolation borrow,
If there will riio where roses bloom.
It cannot be prevented ;
So make the best of llfo you can,
And smile and be contented.
A Rich Story.
In one of tlio suinll interior towns of
New England, where the superstitions of
our ancestors still possess a hold on tbo
mindB of tbo people, tho facts oocurrod a
few days sinoo, of which tho following is a
true narrative :
An honest farmer and his family, pro-
parinn; to colebrato Thanksgiving at his
wife's father's in an adjaceut town, were
hurried and confused extremely on tbo day
proceeding that festival, by the multi
plicity of things which unlet bo done bo
fore they oould leave home with safoty
The house was to ba banked np, and tbo
gleanings of tho harvest, cabbages, tur
nips, and so forth, put into the collar.tbat
the external entranoo thereto might bo
olosed for tho season. Having oarried in
the vegetables, tho boys wero despatched
to the barn for straw to fill the passage
with, while the good man himsolf wai
busied on tho opposito side of the house.
An old ram, the honored patriarch of a
largo flock of sheop kept od the furm, hav
ing got a taste of tho uoattered cabbago
loavcB, unobsorvsd, entered tho cellar and
silently continued his feast. Tho avenue
through which ho had entered was imme
diately olosed up, and all tho necessary
work and arrangements being ooni plcted,
tho larger boys and girls sot off on foot in
high glee, thu dog runuiug and barking
beforo them.
Soon after tho parents and their little
one, having put out tno firo and fastened
tho doors and windows to keep out thiovos
started on the same destination.
On tho afternoon of tho day following
the festival, tho family returned to their
homes, accompanied by some of their
, . r . , . .1. e..l
young cousins, dome oi tucir youuuui
neighbors, of both sexes, were invited in,
and a niorry Tlunkngiving carousal was
ia full tide of successful operation, when
one of the boys, who had been sent into
the cellar with a litilo tow-wiok oandlo
which gavo just light enough to make
datkness viBeiblo to draw oidor, ran back
into the room, with eyes glaring wildly al
tering tho half suffocated exolamation :
"The devil is in the cellar."
"Pooh!" said tho father, "you hare
only been frightened by your own shadow,
givo mo the light."
Saying thU,hc seized tho oandlo leav
ing the candlestick fast in tho shaking
hand of the boy and boldly rushed to
tho collar stairs, but beforo he had de
ecended half tho steps, tho laige saucer
eyes and enormoua horus of the ram oaus
ed him to retreat as much terrified as his
on, oxolaimiog :
"Sure enough, tho devil ia in the cel
lar 1"
Tho good man soized tho great Biblo
and attempted to read, but tbo candlo
sputtered, burned blue, and threw such
feeble light on the sacred page, tho book
trembled so uiuoli in tho hands of tho rea
der,that be oould not distinguish ono word
(rom another. Tho littlo children orted
and clung to their mother ; the girls nes
tled to their favorite swains ; aud tho
wholo houso was shaking with agitation of
its half-demented inhabitants. One bright
thought, however, occurred and a mes
senger was sent for the minister to oomo
and slay tho devil Tho parson, a man
moro calebratcd for good nature, pioty
and credulity, than for good talents and
heroism, slipped a small Biblo into his
pocket, put on his baud and surplico, that
he might appear as formidabloto hiigroat
antagonist as possible, and hastened to
the relief of bis distressed parishioners,
On coming to the houso, rovarond man
was bailed as a deliverer, and implored
by at Uast a dozon voioes at tuo sam
time, to drive tho devil away. But few
moments wen lost io asking questions
which no ona could mswsr, hefor the
parson pushed forward as a loader, with
tho samo penurious light into tho cellar
tho most courageous of tbo company keep
ing closo behind him, Ho reached tbo
foot of the stairs, tbo eyes of tiro, tho
shadowy outlines of tho enormous horns,
magnified ten fold at loast, by tho terror
oftboso that beheld them, romoved all
doubt, if any had existed, io his mind, as
to tho infernal naturu of the being with
whom he had to contend. The devil in
stantly fell on hiskneca, and with uplifted
hands, began to pray in his most fervent
manner. The ram not understanding tho
pious man's motives, but supposing by the
motions of his hands, that ho was dariug
him to a butting contest, made a pass with
all his might :it his supposed adversary
but, deoeived by the swalling dimensions
of his drapory, missed the slender body of
tho priest, and hastily backed to renew
tho tho assault, booked one of his horns
into the belt of his surplice, and pulled
the parson with him into tho oellar
Wbilo thus in the power of his victori
ous foo, lost in hope as it regarded him
self, tho natural benovolonoo of his dispo
sition burst forth in tho exolamation.
''Brethren, take caro of yourselves ; the
dovil has got me 1"
This exhortation was better obeyod than
any he had over delivered from tho pulpit
his friends all fled and loft him t his
fate.
Among the oompany was a shrewd far
mer, who had from the first supposed the
fiend te bo nothing mora than Bomo do
mcstic animal, but, being a lover of fun,
and willing to see a comedy, he kept bis
thoughts to himsolf and pretended to sym
putbize with them in their foars. He now
thought it time to interfere, and snatched
a pitoh pine knot from tho blazing firo,ex
pressed his determination to rescue tb
preacher or parish in the attempt.
A lovely damsel laid hold of tho tail of
bis coat, and begged him to forego the
rash attempt.
"Don't ! don't," shouted several.
'What does the devil care for fire V
said another.
But unheeding the suggestions and tbo
manifestations of conoern for his safety, he
pushed into the collar, seized tho animal
by one of his'horns,and dragged tho strug
gling animal up stairs, calling to tho as
tonished parson, ''follow mo !"
Tho honored devil was led in triumph,
followod by the vanquished ecclesiastio,in
tho midst of tbo oompany,
A momentary silence and hanging down
of beads ensued ; but tho past scene was
too ludicrous to admit of sober reflection!
and loud peals of laughter broko forth
from every side, during which tho ram
was turned- out at tbo door,tho parson ab
sented himself without ceremony, and the
sports of the evening wero resumed with
better spirits than before.
Vanity. Talk ol tho vanity of a wo
man, Is there no vanity in man? Show
me ono girl with her pretty head stuffed
full ot conoeit of her own beauty and con-
sequenco.and I will show you fifty youths,
upon whose lips tho small down by much
coaxing has ventured to appear, and a
hundred hirsute danilios, exulting in a
full facial crop of spontaneous growth
who are moro perfectly possoased with a
self-satisfied estimation of their own irre
sistablo charms than any miss in her tceos.
Each of Jheso apologies of men fancies
every woman whom he happens to en
counter desperately enamored of him, aud
is fully persuaded, iu his own mind, that
ho bears to the same ex the same relation
the late Cant, Martin Scott did to the
raccoon. "Don't fire," said the coon to
tho captain, as the latter was about rais
ing his unerring rifle, 'I will oomo down.'
"Don't pop tbo question," says some fas
cinated damsel to any ono of those ex
quisite lady killers, 'I will marry you."
Tbo funniest story of tbo age is
told by a Dotroit paper. A lady suspoot-
cd her husband of impropor intimacy
with the hired girl. Without informing
her husband of her intention, she sent the
girl oil that night and went to bleep in the
girl's bed, She had not been there long
when somebody oamo and took tho other
half of tho bed. About two hours after
the wife rose, intending to revoal tbo in
tended infidelity of her sprouse, atruok a
light, when lo 1 it was tho hired man,
SSf A man who courts a young woman
iu the starlight probably expoots to get a
Tfifa in a twinkling.
tof Nobody ovor lost anything by love
said a aged looking person, "That a no
Uue,"auid a lady who hoard the remark
, ''for I onee loit throe nigbti sleep. '
Tho Lifetime of Man.
When the world was created, and all
cro alurcs assembled to havo Iboir lifetimo
appointod,tho ass first advanced and asked
low long ho would have to live!
'Thirty years," replied Naturo j will
that be agrocablu to thee V
'Alas 1" answered the ass, "it is a long
while. Remember what a wearisome cx-
istanco will be mine; from morning un
til night I shall have to bear heavy bur-
dons, dragging oornsaoks to the mill, that
others may eat bread, wbilo I shall have
no encouragement, nor bo refreshed by
another but blows and kicks. Givo mo
but a portion of that time I pray I"
Nature was moved with compassion,
and presented hut eighteen years. Tho
asj weut away oomfortcd, and the dog
oame forward.
"How long doit thou require to livo I"
asked Naturo. "Thirty years aro too
many for tho ass, but wilt thou bo oon
tentcd with them i"
'Is it thy will that I should !" roplied
the dog. "Think how muoh I shall have
to run about; uy feet will not last for so
long a time, and when I shall havo lost
my voico for barking and my tocih for
biting, what also shall I bo fit for but to
lie in the cornor and growl V
Nature thought he was right and gavo
twelvo years.
The ape thon appeared.
"Thou wilt, doubtlo38, willingly live the
thirty years," said Nature; "thou wilt
not have to labor as the ass and tho dog
Life will be pleasaut to thee."
"Ah, no 1" cried ho i "so it may seem
to others but it will not bo 1 Should pud
dings ever rain down, I sbould excite
laugnter by my grimaces, and then be re
warded by a sour apple. How often sor
row lies concealed behind a jest ! I shall
not bo able to endure for thirty years."
Nature was gracious and ho received
but ton.
At last come man, 'healthy and btrong
and askod the measure of his days.
"Will thirty yoars content thoo ?"
"How short a time !" exclaimed the
man. "When I shall havo built my own
houso, and kindled a fire upon my own
hearth when the trees I shall have plant
ed aro about to bloom and bear fruit
when life shall seem to be most desirable,
I shall die. Oh, Naturo grant mo a lon
ger period."
Then shalt thou havo tbo oightecen
years of tbo ass besides."
"This is not enough,'' replied tho man,
"Take likew'ue the twelvo years of the
dog."
"It is not yet sufficient," reiterated tho
man ; "givo mo moro."
"I will give thee, then, the ton years of
thoapo; and ia vain wilt thou oUitn
more."
Man departed unsatisfied.
Thus man lives seventy ysars. The
first thirty are bis buman years, and pass
swiftly by. He is then healthy aud hap
py Ho labors carefully, and rejoices in
his existence. The eighteen ol the ass
come next ; burden upon burden is neap.
ed upon bim ho carries tho corn that is
to feed othcrd ; blows aud kicks aro the
reward of bis faithful service. The twelve
years of tbo dog followed, and ho looses
his teeth, and lies down in the corner and
rowls. When theso aro gone the ape's
en years form a conclusion. The man,
weak and silly, becomes tbo eport of chil
dren. Translated Jrom the German.
Mistakes
Wo dosiro to call tho at-
tontion of our readers to the following
prevalent mistakes :
It is a mtstako to suppose that tho sub
soriptiou price of a newspaper is olear
gain to the publisher.
it is a mistaKe to suppueo tuui no gets
his white paper for nothing.
It is a mistake to suppose it is printed
without cost.
It is a mistake to suppose that he can
ivo bodily by faith.
It is a mistake to suppose that It is an
easy thing to ploaso everybody.
It is a mistake to supposo that a paper
ia not worth bnyiug which contains only
what wo know and believo already.
It is a mistako to supposo that monoy
duo for a paper would would bo as good
to us a year henoa as it is now.
It is a mistake to beliovothat wo would
not bo thankful for what is duo for sub
scription Ex.
Buioiue. ''Susau," aaid a faithless
swain to bis botrnthed, ''I havo ohanged
my mind ; I olian't marry you." Vil
lainous, wasn't it! And what do you think
was the result Sucy-sighed,
8" Wo know a young lady who will
nevor bo drawn into tendor conversation
in tbo fields, beoause tha com has ears
Tho Land We Live In.
Wo of l'onniylvania,onjoying an equal
ity of facility with the rest of our fellow
citizens clsowhero, no longer noed refer
to tho old Commonwealth as our plaoo of
habitation, nativity or do mi oil. A Pres
idential order of tho 27th of Juno last,
since tho war has bcon closed, by tho way
too, has rcducod our Stato organization
to the insignifioaneo of departments and
divisions. For instanoe,instoad of saying
hereafter that we live in Pennsylvania,
wo shall say wo belong to tho "Middle
Department" of the "Military Division of
the Atlantic." Our new primary sohool
geography will probably read something
lite ihcjollowing :
Teaclar Whoro do you live I Urchin
la tbo "Middlo Department." Teach-ei-Wbo
commands you I Urchin Major
General W. S. Hancock, who lives at a
hotel in Baltimore. Teacher How is tho
"Middlo Department" boundod ! Urchin
It embraces tho States of "West Virginia,"
Maryland 1 (except the counties of Anne
Arundel, Prince Georgo'a,Calvcrt,Charlos
and St. Mary's ;) tho line of the Baltirsoro
and Ohio Railroad in Virginia, Dolowarc
and Pennsylvania ; and is bounded all
around by rusticating sboulder-3traps,dirty
guard-bouses and suspicious-looking pro
vost-marshal offices, 'leaeher In what
division is tbo "Middle Department?"
Urchin In tho "Military Division of the
Atlantic" leaeher Of what depart
ments is it composed ? Urchin Of tho
Department of tho East," which is nil of
Yankco Land propor, (through by no
means a proper land) New York and Now
Jersey; tbo "Middlo Dopartmont; "Do
partmbnt of Virginia," except Fairfax
county and the Baltimoro and Ohio Rail
road ; "Department of North Carolina,'
and tho "Department of South Carolina.'
Teache? Who commands tho division ?
Urchin Major General George G. Meado
who keeps house at Philadelphia. Teach
er What have becomo of tbo old politioal
divisions known as States ? Urchiri
They havo all been rubbed out under the
"military necessity" of carrying elections
for tho benefit of tho Abolition loyal
leacuo party. Teacher What is the Ba
turo of tho Govornmont within these de
partments and divisions! Urchin Ii is
a mixture of bogus monaroby and shoddy
aristooraoy a centralized abomination
composed of martial "law," ignoranco,
bigotry, fanaticism, rascality and negro
equality. Teacher If Washington, Jef
forson and Jackson woro alivo would they
recocnizo this as their Government? Ur
chin Xo ! They wouldn't be ablo to
"see it." They would bo liable to ar
rest and imprisonment fur what they
have written and said about Stato rights
and the powers of tho federal uovern- scheme of tho agitators, and what can
mciit. Teacher Is it fortunato or other- preV5nt tho sondiug of colored represcnta
wiso, therofore, that they arc dead ? Ur- tivca to the halls ol Congress t Theso
chin Very fortunato, indeed. hon
they died American freedom commenced
to die, and is now with them in the land
of spirits. Patriot fy Union,
Influence of Newspapers.
A school toacher, who has been engag-
ed for a long time in his profession, und
witnessed tho influence of a newspaper
upon tho miudsof a family of children,
writos as follows :
I havo found it to bo tha universal fact
without oxception, that thoso scholars of
uom sexes anu oi an ages, who unvu .ic-
cc8s to nowspapors at bomo, who com
pared to those who havo not, aro :
I Better readers, excellent iu pronun
oiation, and consequently read moro uu
derhtandingly
2 Thoy are better pellora, and define
words with easo and acouraoy.
3 They oniain praouoai Knowieago ui
geography id almost half tha time it re
nuires others, as the newspapor has mado
them acquainted with the location of thu
important places, nations, their govern
ments aud doings on tho globe.
4 They aro hotter grammarians, tor
having becomo so familiar with every va
riety of stylo in tho newspaper, from tho
common placo advertisement to the finish
cd and olassioal oration of tho statesman,
they moro roadily comprobend tho mean
ing of the text, and consequently analizo
its construction with acouraoy
5 They writo better compositions, using
better language, ooii taing moro thoughts
moro olcarlv and moro oonueotedly ox
pressed
0 Thoso young mon who have
years beon readers of tho nowspapors aro
always taking tho lead in tno debating Bo
cieties, exhibiting a moro oxtonsivo knowl
edgo upon a greater variety oi euojucts,
and expressing their viowfl with groater
fluenoy, clearness, and corrsctnn.,, m the
use of lan?xgei
Effect of Negro" SufTrago in the
Houm-iue uoioreca jfopuia
tion to Control thrco Stateo.
The issue of forcing negro cuffrajio up.
on tho Couth at tbo point of Fedar&l bay
onets has been made by the Republicans
of Massachussctts, Connecticut, Vermont,
Iowa, and other States, and Chief Jus
tice Chase is porambulating tho country
in advocacy of the new doctrino. In im
itation of tho minor apostles of this now
faith, he intrudes this qucstiou upon as
semblages at collcgo ooinmencaments, and
in dinncr-tablo speeches.
In view of tho is.ue that has been made
by tho agitators, let tit look at the effect
of negro suffrago at the South will have
upon tho charactor of tho representation
in Congrpss and tho United States Sea
ate. Taking tho census of I860 as a basic,
it. will bo found that in twolve o$ tbo
slave States, embracing eight hundred and
eighty six counties, there is in two hun
dred and forty-fouj of them an excess of
negro population 1
Alabama contains fifty-two oountics, iu
twenty of which thoro is an excess of ne
gro population.
Arkansas has flfty-fivo counties, with
an excess of negro population in six.
Florida has twenty one countios, with
an excess of negro population in si.
Georgia has one hundred and thirty
two counties, with an cscess of negro
population in forty-tbroo.
Louisiana has forty-eight counties, wi'h
an excess of negro population in thirty
three. Maryland has twenty-two counties, with
an excess of negro population in Gve.'
Mississippi has sixty oountics, with' an
excess of negro population in thirty one.
North Carolina has eighty-seven coun
tios, with an excess of negro population
in twonty.
TennesSoo has seventy-five counties,
with an excess of negro population in
three.
Texas has ono hundred and fifty ono
counties, with an excess1 cf negro popula
tion in thirteen.
Virginia has ono hundred and forty-
eight counties, with an exocss of negro
population in forty-four.
This would givo the negroos a majority
in tho States of Louisiana, Mississippi
and South Carolina. In these threo
States tboy could elect six negroes to tha
Unitod Sintos Senate, and thrco or four
times that number of Reprcsentatirea to
Congress,
lu all the Southern Mates tucy oould
send negroes to ibe State Legislatures and
in two hundred and forty-four counties
control tho local off.eos. These figures
present tho universal negro suffrage qucs-
,jon ;n a soo-lai a3p00t. Carry out tho
aro deductions from the fijjures of tho oeu-
SU9 0f 18G0, and tho probability is that
J exocss of black population is greater at
I the present time than it was fivo years
atio. The war has doubtles swept off a
liirger numbor of tho whites than blacks.
Besides, it must bo remembered that, to
start with, tho negrojs will havo decided
advantage, from tho fact that a Inrga
class of whites aro excluded from' the right
0f suffraco by tno exceptions iu President
TQhnson.. amno6t7 Droolamation. whilo
wWl thQ ncgroes are uo exccption3 what-
i ever.
Now England has led wT iu favor of
universal negro suftrago, and j;Chase is
stumping the country in its advooacy. It
ha3 now become ono of tho cardinal doc
trines of tho party, and wo cxpact to eo
. Ucntlblicail stato Convention of New
l'orktoe tbo mark, and givo it an unqait-
- d injorsomont. N. Y. Argui.
Ct3 A littlo girl just passed her filth
year, wbilo chatting about tbo beaux that
visited two of tho sox in the same houso,
of moro mature age, being ankod, 'what
ao you moan v uui, umo. -ruj, s.
I t t , ... ..tsi sin. r
- mean that havo not got inuoit sense.
i
t2f A good inauy wise pcoplo havo
found themselves in tbo same predicament
with Artcinus Ward, who onco said iu tha
midst of speech, ''I ite gifts of olu-
quence, but 1 bavn't got- them with
mo.''
tt
tS" What is the uso of sighing anil
weeping as wo float down tbo stream of
time f Why make tho voyage of Ufa a
for wailing voyage I
Valuo tlao friendship of him who
- etand bj v0uin tUo torm . Sffatm of ;n.
- t ,u 6urrouna you in the sunshine.
-
A girl who courts two ft-llows at
time needs to have a quantii, ' love u t -
ruo w mom uotn,