COLUMBIA DEMOC AND BLOOMSBURG GENERAL ADVERTISER, LEVI L. TATE, EDITOR. "TO HOLD AND TRIM TUB TORCH OF TllUTII AND WAVE IT O'ER TltK DARKENED EARTH." rP1i1 11HXO . nr Kf l 1 i Ttr I Ainu xiuii iio ; &6 UU 1 1 AD V A IN UJJi. RAT, VOL. 19. NO, 23. BALTIMORE LOCK HOSPITAL Baltimore, Aid, fcSTABLISHED as a REFUGE FROM QUACKERY. Tie 0)ly Place xvhtrc a Cure can be ob tained. Dr. Johnson has dip-eovcrrd ibo most Cettaln. Pptfily. ikI only riTcfiiinl Urmeily in Hip World rot Uirikiicss cf tin- liark ir Limbs, Strictui.s Aileetionsof thr Kidirys nml lllndilcr, Involuntary Hlmhrirgts. Impolitic), tJi iicrul nihility, Nervous-IKH-, I Ul'l'flii, Languor, l.i TV Sjiiriitt. Confusion of lilms. I nlpltatlnn of I In- limit, Timidity, 'I ri milling, lilnnets.il Sightor (ililillneks. MmiBi-orthe lltnil Hiti-ut. Nous ir Ponds-those Terrible Disorders Irish- frtni Pilltut) IIiiMih of Youth-smd on. I miliary pincllus ii orr Itiltil lu tin Ir victlmg than the song of fjn us In tin Miitlm t of UMsses, blighting lltclr limn liillllnnt hopes i r iiiitiiipaiimis, rendtring inarriticu, In., linpoktulilc. YOUNCi MEN Imperially. hIio havo become Hit-victims of Solitary Vlci-. tliatdnnilfiil mill ili-ftniitlvi- linliit h Mi Intuitu ull r-wi-i'ps tn tin tiMliiu-l) iraethoiininil of jouug nipu of thn iho-l i xnltii: Inlpi ts nml billliiiiit liitillect, who in Ip lit nilu m Ire have intiuniiil lli-tiNing Son n'es With 'he thumb re of eloipif lire, or wnk.'il tu cc M.uy the lain,, lyic, ii nj-inll tilth full conlidi-nie. MARRAIGE. f ni rleil persons, or young men cnntoinpl.nlng mar finite, being aware of physical weakness, niganlc du hilily, ili-l'oriiiitU-, spei-iliiy mml. lie h" pine, s Ii luidt-lt iiniK-r the euro of I)r i. may fi lii'lniisly loniidi! in his honor lis n gentleman, and cuiilitleutly rt-ly upon hi kill us u pliysicUtr .hkiavic ivi:.KNi:fc;i n n.ri'liili I) Ciiri-I iniil full vigor u.lnrt'tt. Iii" illtr- n-i'i;: it tii 1 1 ion uliicli renders lifn ruin cabin mid man mgu impossible i tin- p-n.ilty put by 'In- vlilliu -I liupn.pi r Indulgence Voung per-miii-i lite ton apt in ,-i mi il i-xiisji.,. from not being oh a r" i f ' In- il re nl fill roii --I'll in in tl'iit limy ensue. Nov.. ulmth.it uii.lf r.l.iioi the mibji rt Hill prilcnd to tuny Hint tin pivver of pmcrp nt f n is lost sooner hy those falling nun i d 1 1 r " liiiLIU limn by Ho,- pro ilunt I lii'sid -i b ii., in pnviil in mi- i I i iiMi 1 1- hi laal ti j iilfipriug tli.i mo m rioni nml distrncllic syinp hnit.01 hotli I,,,, v an-l mini! aris"). Thu P stum be-loini-i. itirmaoil, tit.- phytual mil moiit.il funiiioiii , him m il, I.ojs of I't'i-ri alivn pouor, iN'i-rvoiia Irri lability llu pi i. I' ilp'l.ilinii nftlip ll'-art, liHijijn linn, Cnm-lllutl I II. lolilj, n H"iillli;t o( thu 1'rami: Cough. CnllMlniptloii, l)i ,-ay mi I llu.ilh llll. I illN.vio.V, Minilii-r of tl-.p Ii-yul i'uIIi-ki) ol Snrgponn, I.omlon, (ir 11111.11-1 trooi u of th nnHt i-miiiuiit Colli'gpH lu (h t'niti'il Mi'ti. anil thi- irn-ni,-r part of ulnxe lifo lias lo-i n p lit in t i ii t it.ilc of ttoiirlou, 1'arin, I'ltlla-,i'-ipiiii, aii'l i-l.ii-uh' ri-, lou i if-iiti-il i-iiiitt- o tin- mont n.toiii liti'Siuri- lint urroovi-r known; many trou-hli-il unit rincinv in tho lo-'iil ami i i.lH t lien aalepp, i!ical im'H"'1.-m h, inn iilarm ol at .nwl'ii-u m-unilh. I'-i'lifutiiPKi Hi In-' nl liliiFliing, attcinliil toni". tiito-a Mtli ili-iaiciiiu.it ot nun J, were cured imme'ii-m- ly. TAKI5 r nTlfl'lt NOTH.'M fir. J. alilri'i"'i all lli-Mauho liavt' itijurpil IIipiii i 1vh by iiii.r":ii-r i'oliili.'iin- anil Foliiin-y lialiiti-. hi til ruin ti-.l h li.tt) ,nol miml, unlitliiig tliiiu for i itln r tiu i lit t--4 liiiiy. s'-rn-iy or marnai'i-. rii'' ar'' m)io of th - nail ami mi-lauthrry ellVi ts pro-lilt- l bv '-ail linlili- of oiitli, vi.. U'ciikncnH of tli.i Hack iiii-t i.iiiib-i, r.inii; in lb- Hi-ail, Diiiiiii-"-) ol filit, I."" of Mu iiil.-r 'oi-i. I'lilpiiatloii of tin Hi ul llyiM-lii. i'r"U" I'riiliilulity, 1 1 r.iugt- n t of ilii' I'lit' -livi ruuili'iiiM fit m-ial Debility, ryoip Inm- r.f i;oiisillllil lull ,V. Mim ii. i. v I lii I. -,ti nil I'UVcli- on thu 1 1 1 i 1 1 -1 arp uitiili Ii. tip tir-ailiil l.o-Hof i.' lour l'oliriiiioii of Ideal It -pii-!jji ii of pintp, I nl It biiim-d. Av'-rionlo Ho, n-iy. M'lt Hiati it, I. in ol . i Htitli , Tiinnlity.&i. hp -oiu of tin-1 i i- pro lui "'!. 'i Ii -tir imi.I:. ol por-.'111-t o'" alt a?p ran nun jniliii . h ii i Ho- ciiiih' of iln ir 'li'diinii: lu-alih, Iumiij,' tH"ir Ioi, b iomiiiM-ak t'tl-, in-rv'oi -mil i-u ariatvil, Itjti'lu a iiil'ii!.'i iippf 'ti. i'n i .-iboiii ilic i'yi, ioiit;h au. lyiiiplunis of l -iiiiu niplioii. YOIJNC .MEN wli'tt ii k iirt' Itiftii!- i iv Iw .i ff-Litn jir.irtiro. ii itt.i iu u licit ,ii i . i li ilnt fr'i'trMilJy lt'.iiii':il irum i vii t uiiip.ini'iui, ut ,it !n, , ilti vlYvi ts ' wlmli uru niiiliil) i.'tt f mii w li. ti .j4ii'(t, iniil, if nut t,n r"l run tli rr nmtrt.ii' iiuii.ilhlii nii'l ilf.strnys tint ti unttl .tin) hotly. flintiM ;til limit 'i'iuI' ly. li.it a pity llitii .i yiniiic niiiii, tin' hep" fif mir rnuii t rv. lite (irirlc nl Iih imc-iiU fttiHlcli-M) finui fill pMjlci l ;HKl Clljt(UHi Utf. tlf ltd' Uy Ultf lOllrlf! ipit'iiii mi .Iui,i1iii iruiu hi- path (f n;intr!- runt in in I cr HH' in a nniu si n( t ij.iijit. 'iuJi pcritotis muht, hi 1'uic out inpl.ittn MARRIAC'E, retli-il that a iio'i-nl iiiiinl anil bo.lv art tin- inot nPin t-aiy ri-piii-ttt'H 4 pioiuiitr roiiuubi.il li.ippjin-f g In. tli-eit, willinit ttii-R.- tin- Jiuiriicj thr-iuli life b'-i-umon u wi-.-iry pIlL'rimiiL'e ; tin prop. it liuiirly Jarkem, to tho vihw, llif iiiiu.l bcuoiii' ii ali.iflnw'.-il uitli ilepair anil lllli-il u Mb the mi'l.iurdolly r. II lino that thu h ip. piuen of aiiniher bcioiio-u blighted vinli oar own. Ojjlcr, 7 Smith h'rcdeiick Stfcc', Ipfl-hainl mile gi lug from italtikiuri' htreet, .1 fc-v Honrs front thi etirui-r. I'-iil not tu oluerve uaiiie aii.l nniu her. No li-(pr rp-'fU'-'l i'nl"H pn-tp-ii-l anil con taiiiniK a 'tump tu lip ui-il mi tlip r' ply. ItriuiiiM writluc lioiilil i-ttite ago ami end purlinu uf advertise -nii-nt dCsiribing yniptoiu The I orlor'p Olpbiiuo h.iag in bin oriin. Endorsement ol the 'reus. The innnv t liu'iTi ml h cuti'd m (hi. Ps'i..sliiuf nl w itliin the 'lint twenty year-, ami the (nuiinMim tin. porlanl tiirgltal npprutiini pi tCormnd, by DrHJolun. toil, uitiii'i-fi'il by thu uporti'r" f Tiu Sim nml in my other pjicr-, iiiiliif- ol uhlib bu.o appeared ng.im and again ii fore Iln- pnblir, bi-riili- Irm rlnitdtiig nm gentleman of ihauit' r ami rui-poiii'ibility, m a mill cieiit giuiraiily to tlu utiliiii'd. Skin Uncases Spcedilii ( urcd. April !J, IdiJ.-ly UP DE GRAFF'S EYE AM) If A It IM'ltm.AUY, (On the fi'iuare, Three Hours from Steele' Hotel WILKESBARRE, PA. ''PIUS 1NSTUTI0N is now opened and JL fiiriiivhed Ir. the uioit costly style. Deception. Vriv.ilcauil Dperu'iug Uooiu are large, ronvi'nient and ui 1 udnpti-d. II' surgical npartiiiuiit cnnniina thn Ont'M coili-cUoii of inl,-iiiupnla ill IhlJ country, and thus Ins I'tcu'tfi'F ill enalile him to meet any ami all I'uiP.g .etei 'ipraitii u hp will operate upon an mi x.irious tWiiMof tll.lN'UN'UiS, L'alarucl, Oceluon ol the 1'iiiiit, IUat Hvi'i., cimoire nf Ihn Tear Hilda, III vertiiiu of tip' i:yi liils, I'ti-rygluni, kc c. And will tri-til ad I'orins ol't-ori s, I'.yo liranuled Litis. Opacetieii nf the Cornea, ami rfcrolilloin diio'aies of the Cye to- geiher with all tne iiis'-aniri in which tu? i-yo u III, VI "i II' "fc nil ill'. inyi-!iiri i'lil""".' - "Am orgaii lii'iliHrgi's frmu the I'nr, NoIsph i Hie tar . t'atanli. iliili' "Hy of lii-arliig.total Ileifness even whero the Drui i i i 'uyfil. Will iuserl an arlifit ial line . , V".' iiiji-1. mm 'i-iip 'i iipii t-r &ti .iiuiui-d pmii. .V u,i ul. .. rl.i.. It i-l .III III tli. IIIIMI.1.1'. Ol III, 11 III It rill. ty IIIP1..1 I'" UI II... . .. -.' I . I ll -HH-.-.--- " ' inoii to 'i-e i'! r m tin! Nosp will bu treated ' ff CUM" A i-l lit, i"l V. llu will operate upon Club ' riv led, Ilai.' I . ' ' II . u' nu' T on r. Cancers, Unlar- I 'I- ; I a (t, Pl.i.'tn nnnriibiiilK tlV llPallllg HOW whatever ch.ii.irtr it may present. tlllltXIA (or KlUTUKIiJ- He HI pr-tfurm "I.ab in oocration for tho rvill.al .coniplct') cure of Hernia. Hit. 1 1 iii.'i"- ittouuUy a porfKl cure, ami is none Willi tlltlo or no pniu. L'ui tfiniuy Iniudrpil npi-rutcil upouin Jlntlou lli'-re tin" been mi failures it having met the iicrfritiipprobau "li of ill wliohave ulinii)ted tn it a n'i'i Pfi .. i. I r.. ivii;im..ri nriiiipial lives giv iipkii lino up' ti'iuii pans, .in' wi-ui-ii.1 wiib-'i' ". ing lliem thn iiinlH a nml i-iprcsiun of the natural. 'l'h. v nr.) ilifli-rl- ll l.'llll I tin ll-ahl oaill. IlkMOKiillOll).-, 'I'lles.) This troublesome disease it leadily cmud. Thut-o sulleriug froiutl willuowei ft. ii. Jii Up DuCratTvl its U'ilkes.Ilarri- u-lth view of biiililing up n I prii'.nii'iit llt.litute for the treaiment of J i the I'.yi), l.arai.'l u .neral Surgery, 'nto experience! ot '.. " nl prnitice.ho .lopes, will boa toilicient guaruntcu to i-, more thn.i a u mrti-r ufa century in llospllal anilgener ' Vdioxe who may lie dinposi'il tu employ him, !? May 1 1, letii.ir. TINWARE Si STOVE SHOP. THU undersigned rrspi-ctlully informs his old friend and ciistomers. I liii I bit has purchased his brothers merest in the ubovo I'stHblUhuii'ut.aiidth'! cnucutu nils licrealXer k rouiUiti'il hy hiiiisi'll')'xcisively. - IIP lid just received ami uuers lor saio, inn iarg Jtjyft est Hitd most exteuftvu assortment of r'AXUY sjBti i v i;m evrr lutroiiiirrn into tins inarm i. --.'e Ills stuck cousbis of a complPtu assortment of lie best Cooking and parlor stoves in the market, togeth er nith tfl'ive fixtures of every Jescriptiou, Oien and r.nv r-tuves, ItadiatorSi.Cylindar Htnvcs, Cast Iron Air. Tiltl.l stoves, t'niiuou Btoves, &c. i.c Slovupipo and 'I'lnware coiirtautly on hand and manufactured to order. All kinds uf repairing done, as usual, on short notice. The patri'Iia-.t of old friends and new cusloiusti is putfully sulinted, A RUl'lilU' nuoni ti'ttj t)Yi;tl'j:t Jd UW.-U'. Mrimiuwfjwi Select poclqi. Whut Is Wealth ? Wealth It tninpt.iing inoro thnn gold, More than luxury and case ; Treasures never to bo told May be found apart from these. A'Cii who great possession own Mny bu needy hiid tho less) Thpy are rlih, ami they alone, Win) have stores of nobleness. Palaces are dra.iry domes i Talr dpiiicsni s, but deserts wlldj If there bo not happy homes, (lentle thoughts, and mannsrs mild. T.iist inn, though his lot bj small, And ho makes hut slight pretense, lie who IIvps at ppaee with all Dwells ill true magnificence. If you'd prove nf noble birth, O beware of Ju Igments rash ; Scorn to measure human worth "My sordid rulo of cash, (old ami silver liny depart. Proudest dynasties may fall ; lie who lui' tho truest heart . is tho richest ufus all. laABia'j.gim.asmuBps.ictmirauLiij'j.nii ,um . FOILING A RIVAL. ''The oiittcr lores nto ! t know sho loves mo !" snid Jonathan Dnnbiliiiij;, as he tat ujioii the iioriiQeld fi-nop, nieditnting on tho course of li is truo ove, that was mu lling just as Shnkj)e:irc alwnys toiil it did rather roughly. Mf Sukry I'eabody lias tnken a sliino on that gawky, long .-hanked, etiinierin' fhy orittnr UiiMsot. just 'catieo hu is a city I'tllur, shu ain't tho gal I took Ikt for that's sartnin. No ! its i he old folks diirn ihcir ugly pictures. Old Mif? I'cuhody was allcrs a dreadful bifalutin' fritter, full of big notions, and the old niiiti a regular softhead, driven about by hi' wifi' jt.Mt as our old one-eyed rooster i-i drove about by our cautahker ou" five-toed Dirldu heu. Hut if I don't spile his fun my nanio l int Jonathan I in L'oin' dun to the city by the railroad next week, ami whtu I coniu back ake snakes I that's .til.' 1 be aliove solio(uy may serve to tve the rendi r some-slight idea of thu 'lay of ihe lantl' in the pbasant iiislio village when' the speaker resided. Mr. Jonathan l)oubiu:ns was a vcug I'nrnirr, tcll to do iu the world, and look ing out fur a wife, and had been paying his uddrnKes to Miss Susan l'eahody, of that i'k, Willi a lair prospect of tuoccss, when a citj nrquuintanco of tho I'oaboilys, one Mr Oojnulius Gusset, who krjt a re tail dry gouils bhup iu Jlanover tercet, Hj-Ioii, had ruddenly uiadu his appearnci in the field, ami had commenced the 'cut ting out' gi me. Dizzied with tho pros pect of becoming a gentleman's wifo, and ptMercd with the itupor I unities of her as piring mama, the village beauty had be gun to Waver, when her old lover dclcr mined on a lust and bold strike to foil his rival. Ho went to the city and returned Of bis bus-mei-h there he said nothing, not even to a pumping tnaidun iunt who kept house for linn, lie went not near the L'oabody's but ho labored in hi-i o. rufiold, patiently awaiting the result of hit uiack inatious. The next ('ay, Mr Grisset was with the old folks and their daughter in the bct room of the I'uabody mansion, chatting aa pleasantly as may bo when tho door open ed and in rushed a very dirty and furious Irish woman. Is it there yo arc, Mislcr Cornelius !' he screamed, addressing tho astoniihcd Gusset. 'Come out of lint before I fetch yo,yc spalpecu ', U that what yo prom ised mo before the prasto, yc haythen na gur ! lluniiiu' away from ma and the children, forfakin' yer lawful wedded wifo and runniti' nfier the Yankee gals, ye in fidel ! 'Woman, there mii-t bn fome mistake hero,' stammered Gusset, takeu all aback by this obargo.; 'Uevil a bit of a mietako yc .arpant. 0 wirral wirra! was it for tho like of yo I backed little Diuuis MuOarty, who loved the ground I throd on, and all bek:-so yo promised to make a lady of mc, yo dirty thief of the woiruld .' 'Will yo enmo along to the railroad station, where I left little Pjtriok, became he was too siok wid thu amall pox to come any I'urdcr, or will yu wait till I drag yo !' 'Go go uloug,' gasped Gussot J 'go and I'll follow you.' He thought it bust to tomporize. 'I give yo tm tuinitu,' virago. 'If yo aint them, ite my cuzzin, Mr- Thaddy Muloruddcry will bo after ye, yo thief 'f' And away went this 'unbidden guest. Mr. Gusict was yet engaged in statu tnoting out a denial of all Knowledge of thu virugo, when tho parlor door opened again,and tho l'utlo oyed, hatchol faced wo man, in i flashy bilk gown, and a cap with many ribbons porohed on tho top of bor hold, invaded tho sunotity of the par lor. BLOOMSBURG, COLUMBIA 'Ia ho horo V sho cried, in a decidod Fronch accent. Then she added with a scream, Ah, mon Dieu llo voila. Zero ho is Traitro, monslar? Vat for you run away from mo ? dis two trco yean I no vairo sec you,navairo,and my hoart broke vcr badly ontiroly. 1 Who are you V oricd Gusset, his eyes starting out of bis head,and shivoring from hoad to foot. 'He asked who I am. 0, ladies I 0, you voo rcspcotablo old gcntlehoramo I hero vat he ask I Who 1 am, perfide I oh I I'm your wifo !' I never saw you fore a help rue Dob ! cried Gussot energetically. 'Don't you ftwear T said Deaoon Pea. body. 'Ef you do, I II kick you into fits, by golly I I won't have no profane or vulgur language in my house.' '0, blcsi ynu! bless you ! respectable old man. Tell him he must como viz mo. Tell him I have spoke to zo oonstable, Tell him ' sobs interrupted her utter auco, 'It's a pesky bad bui-incssl' said tho deacon, chafing unwnntud iro. 'Gusset, your'e a rascal.' 'Tako care Deacon Pcaboddy, take care,' said the unfortunate shop keeper' 'I remarked you was a raso.il, Gusset. You'vo gone and manicd two wives, and that ero's flat burglary .cf I know cnything beout tho Revised Statonts.' 'Two wivos 1' shrieked the Frcnco wo man. 'Halfdo.iu, for ought 1 know to the contrary !' said tho deacon, 'Now you clear out of my hou-o, go way to the sta tinn, and clear out into I5?ton. I won't hev nothing moro to do with you ' 'But deaoon hear mo.' 'I dont want to hear ye, yc serpent !' cried ihe deacon, stopping hia ears with his hands' 'Marrin two wives, and coai in oourtiu' a third. Go Ion"- ! Clear out! Even Mrs. IVabody , who was inoliued to put in a word for the culprit, was si lenced. Susan tumid from him in hor ror, and iu utter dispair be fled to the railway station, hotly porsui'd by tho clam orous and indignant French woman. That same afternoon, as Mbs Su'-an Peabody was walking towards tka vil lage, she was overtaken by Mr. Jobua- than Doubikios, dressed in his best, and driving his fast going horse beforo his .Sunday cj-to-moetinn chaise. lie reined' up and acoostciled her. 'Hallo, Suke.' Get in and tako a ride? 'Don't keer if I do, Jouathan, grinuiii!.', 'that ere city fellar's turned out a pooty pup, aint bo V 'It's dreadful, if its true,' replied the young lady. ' ' You had a sarred cscaps didu't yu f Dursued the old lover. 'Hut ho warn't 1 never of uovaecount, any how. What do the old (of lis think about it ." 'They haimt baid a wordainccho olear- cd out.' Foruet that uij-ht 1 rodo vou home from singing r-ohuol !' asked Jonathan suddenly branching off. No I buiiit, replied the young lady blushing and smiliug at the same time. Remember them apples I gin you I O, yes. Well they was gaod wasn't they. First rate, Jonathan. Got a hull orchard of them kinder fruit Suke, said Jonathan, Fuggeetivcly. Go long.' exclaimed Jonathan, putting the braid ou tho black horsed Have you any iden where wo'ro going, Suke ! I'm goiug to tho village. No, you aint, your'ugoin' along ere mo, Whore to Providence. Aud you dont come back till you re Mrs, DoubiUins, no now you can fix it. How vou talk, Jonathan. What will tho old folks say I Darn the old folks! cried Jonathan nuttinc on tho string again. L'f I was to leavo you with them much longet, they'd bo trading you off to foiuo city feller with half a dozun wives already. The uext day as Mr. and Mrs. Doubi kins were returning home in their chaise Jonathan said, confidentially : May as well tell you now, Suke, for haint no seoiets from you, that Gusset never seen them three women afore the day they came stompin' into your house and blowed him up. I had, thouMi. Cost mo ton dollars, by thunder I teachod 'em whot to say , and I rather guess they done it well. Old Gusset may bo a sharp bhopkeeper, but cf ho expects to get abend of Jonathan Doubikins ho must get up plague sight airlier o'mornings.' E&y An unfortunate youg man is soaroh ing everywhere for hi swoethoart, who was recently ovtw way by her fee ings. COUNTY, PENN'A., What Young People Should Know. Tho best inheritance which paronts can give their children is tho ability to help and tako earo of thctnselvcf. This is. hotter than a hundred thousand dollars apiece. In any troublo or difficulty, they httvo two oxcollent servants in ibo shapo of two hands. Those who can do noth ing, and havo to bo waited upon, are help less and easily disheartened in tl.o misfor tunos oflifo, Tboso who aro active and hardly meet troubles with a cheerful face, and easily surmount them. Let young peoplo, therefore, learn to do as many things as possible. Every boy should know how, sooner or later 1. To dress himsolf, black his own boots.out his brother's hair,wind a watch, sew on a button, make a bed, and keep tho clothes in order. 2. To harness a horse, grease a wagon, and harness a team. 3 To carve and wait on a table. 4. To milk tho cow .shear the sho''p,and dross a veal of mutton. 5. To reckon money and keep aocounts coricctly, and according to good book- eeping rules. 0. To write a neat an 1 appropriatc.br iof- ly-exprcsscd business lctter,in a good handi fold and subscribe it properly, and writo contracts. 7. To plough, sow grain aud grass, drive a mowing mrchine.build a neat stack and pitoh hay. 8. To put up a package, build a fire, mend broken tools, whitewash a wall and regulate a clock. Every girl should know how 1. To sew and knit. 2 To mend clothes neatly. 3. To make beds. 4. To dress her own hair. 5. To waih the dii-hes and sweep tho carpets. G,i To make good bread aud pel form all plain cooking. 7. To keep her rooms, drawers, aud closets iu order. 8. -To work a sewing machine. 9. To make good butter and cheese. 10. To make a dress and children's clot IlitlLT. 11. To kosp accounts and calculato iu terest. 12. To write, fold, and superscribe let ten properly. 13. To nurse tho sick efficiently, and uot faint at the sight of a drop of blood. 14. To bo ready to render efficient aid and comfort to those in trouble, and in an unostcntaticus way. 15. To receive and entertain visitors, in the absenco or sickness of her mother. A young lady who can do all these things well, aud who is always ready to reudcr aid to tho afflicted, and miiigatp tho. perplexities of thoso around her, will bring more comtort to others and nappi ness to herself, and he more esteemed than il sho only knew liow to dance, situ per, sing, and on tho piano. Home Monthly. t 85a? The following Story is told by one who says he was'an oyc -witness to tho af fair : Just beforo the capture of Savannah Gen. Logan with two or three of bis staff entered tho depot at Chicago, one Quo morning, to tako tho cars east, on his way to reioiu his command. The General bo ing a short distance iu advance ol the oth crs, stepped upon tuo plattorm ot a car, about to enter it, but was stopped hy an Irishman with : "Yee'll not bo goin' in there." "Why not, sir!" aked the General.' "Bccasc thims a leddies carer, and no gintlomatt Ml be goin' iu there widout a ltddy. Thoro a wan sate tn that carer over there, of yees want it," at the same timo pointing to it. '"Yes," replied the General, "I seo there is one seat, but what shall I do with my staff. "Oh! bother your staff!" was tho petulant reply. "Go you and tako tho state, and stick yer staff out of tho win dy." CF" A young lady of California recent ly broko her neck whilo resisting an at lompt of a young man to kiss her. This furnishes a foarful warning to young la dies, BSy A young man advortisca for a situ ation as son-in-law in a rejpcctablu family. Would havo no objection , ho says, to go a short ilistanoo into the oountry. j- What is the difference betweou a druramor-boy and a pound of moat ? Aits. One weighs a pound , and thn other pounds away. SATURDAY, AUGUST 5, 1865. Embalming a Live Man. A miraculous cscapo from the horrors of actually being buried alivo has just ta ken placo in Now Orleans. A person by the name of Martin was supposed to havo died Irotn diecaso of the heart, and toov cry outward appcaranco was doad' The attending physicinl had given his certifi cate of burial, oortifying to tho cause of death, and tho supposed corpse had been prepared shrouded in tbo habilimonts ol diath and cnooffined. Near and dear ones had hcd tears over the loss of one whom they supposed dead, and whose. body they hud carefully prepared for the silent pre cincts of tho tomb, when tho fortunate thought suggested itself that tho body should be embalmed. The nceocsary ttcps wero taken, tho coffin carefully closed up, and tho body sent to tho embalming es tablishment. Here tho process of embalm ing was in due tune entered upon. It ap pears that iu the process which preserves the body from immediate decomposition, the preserving quality is infused into the main artery of the arm. Tho incision with a lancet is in the same manner as in the caso of blood-letting. Tho cinbalmer had commenced his work by making the necessary incipion, and to his surprise he discovered blood feebly oozing from the vein. He knew thcro mu-t bo life whero blood would flow, and desisted from his Work of embalming. In a few minutes more there was a slight motion of his body, and presently tho man in the coffin made an effort to rsiro himself, and, with assistance, did rise up aud speak. Gentle restoratives were administered, and he desired to know how it'was that bo found himself in a coffin clothed with a shroud. His friends, to their utter joy, wero ad vised of what had taken place, and he was sent to tho hospital instead of tho gravo, wheic he is in a fair way of recoverihg This is, indeed, a miraculous ccape from the clutches of death. S3f A Republican contemporary com plaius that already "the popular enthusi asm in relation to Air. Lincoln s name seems dead." It never had any healthy lifo. It was all bunoomb. It was only partisan, and got up to bolster a political dogma. Persiu, in his fifty Saluc, says that "applouse unmerited will bring dis daiu." Nothing moro sure. Beyond the natural sympathy for a man brutally as saseiuatcd, Mr. Lincoln's namo has no hold unonjho popular heart His fame and name can never be more than parti zan. The effort to givo him an altitude that does not justly belong to him, will only result in setting him below his rcul merits. Ho was an indefaiigablo Aboli tionist, an excellent story teller, and a merry joker. Weighed intellectually aud morrally,ho was no more. He was bru .tally assassinated ; but never did an as i.sasiiu's baud deal a inoro foolish blow. Old Guard. We heard a good retort in tho cars the other day, from a tipsy Sootoh laborer, who had oarricd in his hands a bottlo of 'fire waiter,' witl which to keep himself warm anil nioiat. A fellow traveller wi.-h-iii to poke a little fun at him, asked him what he had got iu his bottle. 'Small bear,' was the reply. 'Well,' said tho other 'if it's small beer, I'll share it with you.' 'No,' answered Sawney, 'it's too small for two!' The laugh was on tho man in the good clothes, who retired to his seat, scorched, but not killed.' Scarce AuTicr,us. A person who practiocs nil he professes : A beauty who never feels proud when shu dresses , A luwyer whose honesty pleads foa his client ; A braggart whoso courage is always defiant ; A sensible dandy, an ancient friend; Philysophy publishing money to lend; A skillful physiftan regardless of solf ; A staunch politician forgetful of pelf ; A sour old baohclor neatly arrayed ; A las, though not rarest, a cheerful old maid. HSf O'Larey, gazing with astonish mcut at an elephant iu a tncnagric, asked the keeper "what kind of a baste is that aitin' hay wid his tail I" gy An Ohio editor recently took a co temporary to task for copying ohoico soraps from his editorial col urns and not giving credit for them. The ootempora ry replied by saying ho did not do aorod it business. t& Jones is a strong believer iu guar diau angels. "If it were not-for them," ho asks, "what wou'd keop peoplo from rolling out ol bed when they ate last aleop f ' A Girl that Would be Married and Why Mr. Watts had by industry and econo my accumulated a largo proporty. He was a man of rather superior inidd and acquirements) but unfortunately became addicted to habits of intonfperanoo. Nat urally fond of company, and possessing superior conversational powers, bis com pany was much sought and he bcoamo cventfully a sot. His wife was a feeble woman, withont much decision of char acter : but an only child was the reverse illustrating one of those singular laws of nature, that tho females oftenest tako af ter the father in charactor and personal peculiarities, and the males after the mother. Mary was well aware of the conso- quenecs that would inevitably follow her father's courso, and had used every exer tion of pcrmasion and reason in her pow er, to lntiuec mm to alter ins habits, but without arail : his resolutions and nrotui ses could not withstand temptation, and he pursued his own downward course, till the poor girl despaired of reform, and grievou.-ly realized what the end must re- ult in. John Dunn was a young man from the Dust, possed ot a good education, as all our New England boys aro, and their in domitable industry and perseverance, and was working on the farm of a neighbor by the month. Mary on going on sorao orraand to tho next house, met him on thu road with tbo usual salutation "Good morning, Mr. Dunn." "Good morning, Miss Watts. How is your health ?" "Well, I thank you, but to toll tho trnth, sick at heart."' 'Pray what is tho troublo ?" said John, "What can effect you, a cheorful, lively girl liko you, possessing everything that can make you happy ?" "On tho contrary to make rao misera ble. I am almost woary of life. But it is a subject I cannot explain to you ; and yet I have sometimes thought I might." "Anything that I can do for you, Miss Watts, you may freely command." "That is promising moro than you would bo willing to perforin. But to break the ice at onoo, do you wan a wife?" 'A wifo ! Well, I don't know. Do you want a husband 1" "Indeed I do, the worst way. I don't know but what you may think me bold, and deficient in that maidenly modesty becoming a woman, but if you know my situation, and tho afflictions under which I suffer, I think it would bo some excuse for my courso." "Have you (bought ot the conse quences ?" said John "my situation I am poor you are rich I am a stranger -and" "Indeed I have, I am almost crazy,- Let mo explain you and every one else know tho unfortunate situation ot my father. His habits aro fixed beyond amendment, and his proporty is wasting liko the dews beyond the sun. A lot of harpies aro drinking his very heart's blood, anil ruin and misery aro staring us in tho face. We are almost strangers it is true ; but I observed you closely Your habits, your industry and tho care and prudcuco with which you have man aged your employer's business, has al ways interested me "And yet, my dear young lady, what can you know of mo to warrant in taking Buoh an important step 1" "It is enough for mo that I am satisfied with your character and habits your per Bon and manners. I am n woman and have oyos. Wo arc about the same age ; so, if you know mo and liko me welt enough to take mo, thcro is my hand 1" "And, my dear Mary, thcro s mine I with all my heart in it, Now, when do you desire it to be settled ?" "Now, this minute; givo mo your arm and we will co to snuiro Denton's aud havo tho bargain finished at once, I don't want to enter our houso of distress again uulil I havo one on whom I can rely, to control aud direct the affairs of my dis consolate homo, aud to support mo in my determination to turn oyer a now leaf ia our domestic affairs" "Hut uot in this old hat, and in my sh'ut sleeves, Mary ?'' i'Yos and I in my old sun bonuet and dirty apron. If you aro contont lot it bo done at onco. I hope you will think I am nut so hard pushed as that comes to; but I want a master. I am willing to be mistress. 1 will then take you homo and introduce you as my own doar husband signed, cealod and delivered." 'So bo it permit mc to say, that I have always admired you from the GtQl VOLUME 29.- minuto I saw you, for your beauty and pnergy, and industry, and omiablo de portment." "Now John, if that ia sincere, that is the happiest moment of my life, and trust our union will bo long and happy, I am the only one my father hears to ; hut alas I his resolutions aro liko ropes of sand. I can manage him on all other subjects: you , must tako uhargo of his business, and Hare solo control ; there will bo no diffi oully I am confident of tho result." They wero marriod, and a more happy match ncvor was consummated. Every thing prospered j houses and barns wero rcpairod, fences and gates woro regulatod and the cxtensivo Golds smiled and flour ished liko an Eden. Tho unfortunate father in a few years sank into a drunk" ard's grave. Mary and John raised a largo family, and they still live respoetcd and wealthy all from an energetic girl's resolution, forethought, and cotlrago. Bc Your n Right Hand Mam People who havo been boistcrcd up and levered all their livos aro seldom good for anything in a crisis. When misfor tune comes, they look around for some thing to cling to or lean upon. If tho prop is not there, down they go. Once down, they aro as helpless as capsized turtles or unhorsed men iu ar mor, and cannot find their feet again without assistance. Such silken fellows nd more rosemblo self-made men, who havo fought their way to position, making difficulties their stop ping stones, and deriving determination from defeat, than vines resemble oaks, or spluttering rushlings the stars of hoayoa. Efforts persisted into ai'.liievottienis train a man to self reliance, and when ho has proved to thceworld that he can trust him self, tho world will trus; him. We say, therefore, that it ia unwine to deprive young men of tho advantages which result from their onorgotio aotion, by "boasting" them over obstaoles which they ought to surmount alono. DitEAMs. Thero is a new guide to tho interpretation of dreams. An English paper thus puts it s To dream of a millstone round your neck is a sign of what you may expeot if you get an extravagant wife. lo sec apples in a dream betokens a wedding, because whero you find appleo you may reasonably expect to find pears. To dream that you are lamo is a token that you will get into a hnbblo. When a young lady drcama of a coffin, it betokens that sho should instantly dis continue lacing her stays tightly, and al ways go warmly audthickly shod in wet weather. To dream that jour nose is red at the tip is an intimation that you had bettor have off brandy and water. JES?" Small boy, on tip-toe, to his com panions 'Sh stop your noise,all of you.' Companions 'Hello 1 Tommy what is the inattor-J" Small hoy 'W've got a new baby it's very weak aud tired walked all tho way from heaven last night musn't bo kick ing up a row round hero now.' 665 The Now York Independent has tho following from a mother : "But did I tell you what a time I had with my -little Joe 1" "No, what was it?" "Why I was showing him tho martyrs thrown to tha lions, and was talking very solemtily to him trying to make him feel what a terrible thing it was," "Ma " said he, all at onoe, "Oh ma! just look at that poor Hon, way behind there, he wont get any '." A Jew broker was standing ou nn oil tub at an auction held tho other day at Brlnginghain, England, when, in tho ex eitcmcnt of "going, going, gone !" he stamped the staves loose aud disappeared iu tho oll.J fiS Ono of tho Wcetern editors spoak ing of a largo and fat cotcnjpoiary, re marked that if all flesh was grass, ho must be a load of hay. "I expect I am," said the fat mau, "from tho way tho asses aro nibbling at me," CG?" A Spinistor, no boauty, nor young, nor good tomporcd, applied to :t magis trate for advice as to how she could got lid of troublesome suitor. "Oh marry him, marry him !" was tho advioo. "I'd seo him hanged first !" said aho. "Exactly!" said tho magistrate ; "you marry him, as I advise, and tho odds ara it will not be long before ho liangi hiin- i self
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers