LUMBIA
DEMOCRAT,
AND BLOOMSBURG GENERAL ADVERTISER.
IJiVI fi. TATE, Editor.
TO HOLD AND TRIM THE TORCH OF TRUTH AND WAVE IT O'ER THE DARKENED EARTH."
TERMS : S2,0 PER ANNUAL
VOL. 16. NO, 33.
BLOOMSBURG, COLUMBIA COUNTY, PENN'A, SATURDAY, OCTOBER 18, 1862,
VOLUME 26,
CO
COLUMBIA DBHOCRAT.
rUHIiISHED EVERY SATU11DAY, BY
LEVI L. TATE,
IN BLOOMSBUHG, COLUMBIA COUNTY, PA.
oimSTce
Id Uf ita Brick Untitling, eppttUt the I'.Trhange, by tide
of tht Court Home. "Democratic Head Quarterf."
TEIIM8 OV SUHSORIPTION.
$1 ni) In mlvnnco, Tor one cop)', fur six months.
1 7.X In advance, for one copy, otic yenr.
2 00 ITnot paid within tho llrt ttirt'o mouths.
2 I.'i If not paid within tht; first git mouths.
2 AO I f not iiill within the year,
try No subscription taken for less than six mnntln,
md nn paper discontinued until all arrearages shall have
buen puil.
i-y nnliuarvADVEKTisiiMPNr inserted, and JoawuRK
executed, ut the cslnblishcdpricc.
"BALTIMORE LOOK HOSPITAL
ESTAUUSIini) Art A IllU'URi: I'KOM CIUAUKEIIT.
The Only Flute whetc a Cure can be
Obtained,
DU. JOIINSTOM hiix discovered the mast Certain,
fpecily nuil only Wfjetuul Remedy in the World
for nil private Diseases, Weakness of the Hack or
Limbs, Stricture"!, AH'cctioin of the Kidneyii nnd lllail
Jor, Involuntary Discharges, Impotenry, (icnernl Do
iiihty, Nervousness. Oyspipsy, l.miguur. Low Spirit
'niilusiuu of Idens, Palpitation of the heart, mi li t
Tremblings, Dliiine-is of Sight or (iiddini'ss, Disease uf
the llend, Tliro.it, Aoso or skin, AilWtiuiis of the Liver
Lungs, Stomach or llouvh luiisu terrible Disorders
arising from the Molitary Habits of Youth -those stintr
nnd solitary practices more fatal Id llii'ir victims than
dm Mini! of Syrens to tliu Marino of Ulysses, blight
their most liri limit hopes or anlkipatioiiii, render
ing marriugo, &c. iinposilili'.
V O i; N 0 M E N
t;prclally, who have becomo the victims of Solitary
Vice, th.it dreadful anil destructive habit w hith muni
ally sweeps to an tiiitlinely nr.no thousands of Young
Mi. n of the most exalted talents and brilliant intullert,
who iiiisht otlierwie have etitrnncid listening Senates
v.itlithn lliunders of i lo'iuc nee oi wuked to ecstasy the
living lyre, may call with full confidence.
M A U It I A O I'..
Married persons, or Young .Men contemplating mar
riage being awnre of physical weakness, organic deubili
ty.'deformitios, 4cc speedily cured.
Me who plarcs himself under the care of Dr. Johnston,
may religiously coulidc in Ills honor ns a gentlemen, and
cuiilldently rely upon his skill ns n physician.
o ii i! .v x 1 1; xv i: a ic n b s o
immediately cure I and full vigor rcsiorcit.
This Distrusting Aircction whlih render life mis
erable and marriage impossible is the penalty paid by
thi villi ins of improper indulgent)'.. Young per
sons are too apt to commit oleess from not being
avv.iro of the dreadful ciuisc'iucucu that may ensue,
Now, who Unit understands the subject will pre
tiMi.l to deny tint Hit) power of procreation n lost sooner
)iy til iso fallim into improper habits than by the prudent.
U'-idcs 11 I", deprived of the pi' hud of healthy nit
ih mii.t seriois and dislructivo symptom to
Ii illi body mid mind nris". Tho system becomes deraug- I
s. i tlu physical and mental rumtii'iii weaneneii, loss
uf procri'iiiive power, nervous iriitalnlily. Dyspepsia
inliiiUtlon of the heart, Indigo-linn. roiistltulinli.il de
iiliiv, a iullii,' of the frame, Cough. Consumption,
decay and death.
- w'.-,,T'i'ii i.'n imiI'ihim; si'i'iinvf-
I rfi hnid side pill".' from Baltimore ttreet, a few doors
fr'?,rnrd.' i!,".;,,, V XZZrVlZ ;
to, siiipionus i.mit i" . v a '
AOUlli: W A it II INTi.il IV TX O UAYb
uu MtiiiUKV oa Niis,,ou-. uiiuos. ,
Member of the ltoy.il Coll ge of Hurgeous, London,
Ii i. I u.it o froiil o.le i f till! most eminent Colli"'" of the '
initi'ii at ue. mi t til gP'.-ner part of uhoSl. nfe ha.
uSuaXi'sewn.";:;; '
'wmr' n'lfiinrii1"" i""!1 Sr,Jrhlna,SVreJ.n-t '
of i i.. ii'. . , .
rr ,
raugeni mm uiin.i. en-tureu iuuiii'umu.
t K II 1' A It T I C U I. A 11 N O T I C B.
m a it it i a (! u, ,
l)r I addresses all Ik-un' who have InJ ired thomsi lve
iii'i .iirorr indulgence and solitary iiabits, whii h m
M SVi-.,.r'.-i.nJ2?. ' ,w " ' "
T . a"- mm" ol til ' k.i.I au.l ni lauc uniy i ncus pro-
ir b 'arl babits of Miiith, vi.: eultness of tho
... .mil l,nub, I'aiu hi thi ll.'iid, Dimness of aiglit
. .fMu-uil.-l'.iwer, r.ilUlutioii of the Heart. Dys
" ,7....:iiXXwr7iaii,i.
.., ..i.: , .P ..r ,ht I.,,.
'"mYvtaI.I.V. The f'arful elfu'cls on the mind are
rii'L.!l'W
id So'iety, seir-.listrust, love of solitude, Timity, ice.,
am some ol llio evils produced.
Thuuslin U ot pi rsoin ol all llges run now juuge mini
is the ruilte of their deillhiug lienltli, I-oosing their
vi"or, becoiuing weak, pale and emaciated, haying sin
gular iippearnnc about the eyes, cough uud symptoms ot
Consumption. y o U N G JIM.
XVhn liavs injured thiuselvcs by a corjaln practice
linlulged in when alimu -a liuliit frequently learned from
, A ,,,;,,. r i, i u. Iii.nl-lliu elli-ilh of which iite
::u;,",gViInpos.,d" 'j; d both n,MMa,.d Lod
XVIii-t a pitl th.it a) niiug inm. the hope of his roniiiry
mid the darluig cf his parents, should bo snatched from
ull nrospeits mid cnlo) moots nflilu, b tnu couscqui i.
res of deiiiitiug fiom the pall) of nature, uud indulging
in u cei lain secret habit, timta persons nusr belore
couteiiipliitiug t
rcllect that a sound mind and body nru tlio most no
ress.iry roquiMli.'S to rrnmnte roiiunliial happiness
ludueil, without these Hie Journey through life becomes
u weary pilgrimage, the prospect hourly darkens tn
Hie views tint mind becomes shadowed with despair Ic
filled with the iiieUiiclioly rclleiliou Unit thu happiness
of uuother becomes l.liplited with our ow n,
DISK AH IJ 0 1' I M Tit U UUNCK.
When the misguided and imprudent votary of pleasure
finds h.) has imbibed the seeds of this painful disease, it
ton often happens tlat an ill limed seusu ofsh iinu or
ilrrad of discovery, iklor. him from applying to those
ho from education and respectability can alone UefrieuU
liiiu. delaying till thu constitutional symptom, ofthiii
horrid diseuse nialies Ihelr appearance, null asulceiuted
sorethro.it, diseased noso, nocturnal, pains In tlnilicaa
mid limbs, dimne.s of sight, dmifiiess, nodes on tho shin
bones, ami uriin. blotch on tha id, face and extreme
lies, progressing with rapidity. till at last the palato or
the mouth and bones uf the nose I'.ill in, mid tho victim of
this deseusu becomes a horrid object of ioniiiiiscratlon
till death puis u period toliis dreadful bufferings, by sen.
illinium to '-lti.it bourne from whence no traveler ru-
'"it'fs a ttclaucholij fart that Itiniirnml fall victims to
this terriblu disease, mvlng to tho unskillfuiruess of ig
uoriiut pretenders, who, by the li.e ol Unit lUadly I'oi
, Merrarij. ruin tlu constitution and make tliu reel-
due of life miserable
r! T It A N 0 B U 8
till, 1.1. 1 ..l.t.lL- IM,,ll,.,ri.lt..l
.i i' ..ifi.ni
l.,.,.,, ,,. triilniL' month utter mouth taking their nuny
slid noisoinis couipoauds, or us long us the smallest Ice
ran he obtained, aud iu despair, leave you with ruined
health to sigh uver your gaining disappointment.
Dr. Johnson s he oiily riiysicluu advertising.
His credential or diplumas always liauglii h Uorlico.
lbs ruinedii'S or treatment nru unknown to all nllicrj,
prepared from a life spent iu tho great hospitals of Lu
roiiu, thu first in this co-.iulry and a uwro extensive r ri
lalf I'ruLiue than any other l'h)sieian in the world.
INIIOItSUMDNT 01' TUU MUSS.
The iiiuuy thousand, cuiedat tins iti.tltullon ycarnf.
(cr year, and the numerous iuipoitant Hurgical Operu
lions performed by Dr. Johnston, w Hues ed by tho re
port rs of Jh "run," ''Clipper." and many other paper,
notices of which havo appeared again and again beloro
Ilia public, besides Ins standing a a gentlemen of char
niter ami ju.poiisibiluy, i a sulfttii'iit guarantee tulhti
laicled.
skin utsn.vtjcs sriumiiiY cumin.
Person writing should he particular m directing their
Utters Wilis Institution, in tho Mliiu'ing manner ;
JOHN M. JUIINriTON, M. D.
Or the IWtlmnreLock Hospital. Uultlmore, Maryland.
Jan Jd, ItUJ. Xlarch 17, IctO
TIM WARE & STOVE SHOP.
'TMIU undersigned respectfully inform, hi. old friend
l and customers, that hu has purchased his lumbers
interest Jo the abovu er.iblMiment,iinilthc concern wil
hircaftiir bo ronduued by himself exclusively.
He has Just received und oners for sale, the lartf
est mid most oit'inslN. .ssurtiniiit of I'ANCY
v.hl RTll I' I'.ri ,,'r iiitru.liii'ed into this markit.
T3i lij, Ptick consists of u coiupktu assortment of j
ha bi.t (Vokiu; ml I parlor stoves Hull" markel, togeth-
it with gi ,v I'uturts ot every inscription, wyeu avu
llnrUuyes, Uadiat irs, C jlludar Slovus, Cast Iron Air
Tis'il stuyr , t'uminn Hlow s ic, ice. Stovepipe uud
Tinware coiidnutly on hand and manufactured loirdcr.
All kiuds of repairing dom-, us usual, on shott notice.
The patronage of old frinnds aud new customers re.
pMlfullV solicited. A. M. UUrtrtT.
UhouisbutSi November 3d 1300. tf.
Trust not your lives, or heultli. to the care of the ma
by Uii..'uriicd!ind Worthless I'nteuders, deslituto ot
Liiowleilgu, name or charncter.wliocopy Dr. J Winston s
nlvortisemeut., or style themselves, in the newspapers,
legulnrlv IMui-utcd l'liysici.ius liicapable of Liiring.llicy
Choice Poetry.
LITTLE MINNIE'S WISH.
I wish this war was ended,
And father was at home,
Then mother would not cry so much
Oh I why don't father conic t
I'm sure my mother love. inc.
Put, why, 1 cannot tell ;
Sho makes no mora new clothe, for mo,
But sows on clothes to sell.
I asked her once about it,
But mother would not speak
She only pressed me to her breast.
While tear, felt on my check.
I'm sure there', something baJ
Ilns happened, for 1 know
My mother did not do this way
About twelve months ago.
I nm too young to reason much,
Hut think it very strange,
That just because dear father's gone,
That every thing should change.
Tor since he went away, the man
That lined to bring us bread
Has ceased tocomc along this way
I'm thinking lie Is dead 1
I sec the milkman still goes by,
Hut why, I cannot tell:
He will not stop at our house,
Nor even ring his bell.
The butcher, too, that used to he
So kind, polite and clean,
XX'ill not bring Ma one bit of meat;
I think he is right mean.
I told my Ma to change them all,
A 1 try some other men ;
She sighed, and then came down her check
Dig tears, like drops of rain.
Ma used tohave nice furniture,
But why, I cannot say,
She ,'t a man who had a tar,
Haul nearly all away.
l wish this war was ended,
And father was at home;
Then Ala, I'm sure would smile again
Oh 1 whi n will father come t
Communication.
For hie ColumIiia Democrat.
Goh. Levi L. Tate : Lieut. F. A.
Koons, is now at home on a visit to his
.' . it
" i nusuiuu uuuuoy, lor IUO purpose
of recruiting. Ho pacd through tbc bat.
of Itappalianuock anil Bull Run, xvith-
.5' )
out rccciviup; auy miury extent having his
LorSC Sliot fl'OlU Ulllicr him. IlG XTaS DCC
. . . ,. ' , ,
formiu; the duties of Adjutant of tho 50th
lieaiincnt, P. V., and xvas taken prisoner,
subscUuontly had a very unpleasant viit
t0 Hifljniond, where ho was paroled about
I two wocks since, from whence he rciurnod
via Anuapohs and Washington, havinc
. . . , . , , .
been strippcir of his sword and revolver
the Rebel,. He will return to Annap
,. ,
0118 I1CXI ttLtK.
oprnnt
OergCaDl lU.IJ
or E. S. Koons, of the
. . . .
licginient, has also boon at home to
also been at home to
recruit his health. He was in a two days
at tho battle of Rappahannock, where
' U() Qst j js uniform coat, fill his clothinK
' o
aud baggage, by tho capture of an army
wagon by the Rebels. He became so ex
haustcd in this battle, that ho xvas obliged
to bo taken off the field in an ambulance
and subsequently sent to National Guard
j Hall Hospital Philadelphia, to whero ho
has again returned, and noxv xvill be scut
buck to his Regiment.
John Redman Koons, of the 7th P. V
Iicservcs, all sons of Judge Koons, of
New Columbus, has bceu absent about bix
tccn months without oucc being home to
visit his friends, He has been in sovcral
engagements, was taken prisoner at Sav
age station anu sent to lucumouu ; re-
, . - . ,
mained there several weeks, was then
paroled and sent to Annapolis, and has
noxv been exchanged and returned to his
Rpgimcnt. We think this is doing pretty
well for one Ureclcinritlge family. Hoxv
many Republican families bare done bet
ter. DEMOCRATIC S0LDU5KS.
YouTHFur, RitAVEtiY. The following
account of au incident of tho battle near
Pittsburg Landing is given by one xvho is
enabled to vouch for its entiro authenticity:
In tho battlo at Pittsburg Lauding, young
Martin Heera, of Alton, Illinois, scarce 18
years old, was a Sergeant in tho Thir
teenth Missouri, having entered the regi
ment as a private. Ou that fatal Sunday
the color bearer xvas shot down at his side
ho caught up the flag and oarricd it through
the day and slept that night with its folds
around him. Tho next morning tho Cap
tain appointed him a Second Lieutenant
pio tempore, Tho Grst volley killed tho
First Lieutonaut, and Martin took his
nlaco, Soon after tho Lieutenant Colonel
fell, and tho Captain of Martin's company
actod as Major. Loaviug this young hero
to carry the company through tho battlo,
which ho did most gullaully, aud escaped
uuharmed. Young Martin Deem xvas in a
punting office when the war broko out.
He went to St. Louis and enlisted among
tho three months' volunteers. At thoex
piratiou of that servico ho enlisted for tho
war. Wo may hear more of him oro tbo
war is over.
Miscellaneous.
An Affecting Scone.
In a recent trial at tho Old Baily, in
London, Lord Chief Justice Tindalo pre
siding, Goorgo Hammond, a portrait pain
ter, was placod at tho bar, to bo tried on
an indictment found against himself by
tho Grand Jury, for tho wilful murder,
with malice aforethought, of George Bald
xvin, a rope-dancer and mountebank. Tho
prisoner was a man of medium height, but
slpndcr form. His eyes wcro bluo and
mild. Hiswholo being gavo evidence of
subdued sadness and melancholy resigna
tion. Ho was forty-one years of ago, had
a soft voice, and his appearance and man
ner bore evidence of his being a man of
distinguished education, in spite of tho pov
erty of his dress.
On being called out to plead, tha prison
er admitted that ho did kill Baldwin, and
he deplored the act, adding on his soul
and conscience, ho did not beliove himself
guilty. Thereupon a jury xras impaunol
cd to try tho prisoner. Tho indictmont
was then read to tho jury, and the act of
killing being admitted, tho Government
rested their case, and tho prisoner xvas
called upon for his defence.
Fhc prisoner then addressed himself to
the Court and Jury, and tho following re
marks was made :
'My lord,' said ho, 'my justification is
to bo found in a recital of fexv fat.
Three years ago I loit a daughter, then
four years of age, the sole memorial of a
beloved wife, whom it had pleased God to
recall to Himself. I lost her, but I did
not see her die. She disappeared -she
was stolen from me. She xvas a charming
oliihl, and but her I had nobody in the
xvorld to lovo me. Gentlemen, xvhat I
havo suffered cannot bo described ; you
cannot comprehend it. I had expended in
advertising and fruitless searches every
thing I possessed furniture, pictures,
even to my clothes. AH have been sold.
For three years on foot I had been seeking
for my child in all the cities and all the
villages iu the three kingdoms. As soon
as by paiutinii portraits I had succeeded
in gaining a little money I returned to
London to commence my adveitiscments
in tho newspapers
At length on Friday, the 14th of April
last, I crossed the Smithficld cattle market
In the centre of the market a troupo of
mountebanks were performing their feats.
Among them a child was turning on its
head supported on a halberd. A ray from
tho soul of its mother must havo penctra'
ted ray oxvn, for mo to have recognized my
child in that condition. It was my poor
child. Her mother would perhaps havo
precipitated herself towards her, and look-
ed herself in her arms. As for me, a vail
passed over my oyci. I know not how it
was I, habitually gentle, even to weak
ness, siezed him by tho clothes I raised
him in the air, then dashed him to tho
ground then again ; he xvas dead. Af
terwards I regreteq xrbat I had dono
At tho moment I rcgrcted that I was
able to kill but one.
Lord Chief Justtco Tindalo 'These
are not Christain sentiments. How can
' . n l - .1 T . i a 1
you expect, tuu vjuuit, uua juij m iun
with favor on your defence, or God to par
' don you, if you cannot forgivo V
Prisoner 'I know, my Lord, what will
bo your judgement, aud that of tho jury .
but God has pardoned mo; I feel it in my
heart. You know not, I knoxv not then
tho whole extent of tho evil that man had
doue. When somo eompasionato peoplo
brought mo my daughter in prison, sho
was no longer mychild ; she was no longer
( puro and angelic as formerly ; she xvas
corrupt, body and soul her manner, her
lauguage, infamous, like thoso with whom
' she had been living. I did not recognizo
her myself. Do you comprehend, now?
That man has robbed mo of tho love and
soul of ray child. And I I havo killed
him but onoc.'
Foroman 'My Lord, wo havo agreed
on our verdict.'
Chief Justico 'I understand you gen
tlemen, but tho law must take its course.
I must sum up tho case, and then you will
rotiro and deliberate.'
Tho Chief Justico having summed up
tho ease, tho Jury retired, and in an in
utant after returned into Court with a ver-
diet of 'Not Guilty.'
On the disohargo of Hammond, tho
sheriff xvas obliged to surround biui with
an escort. Tho women xvero determined
to carry him off in thriumph. Tho crowd What do you mean !" shouted ilio Col
, ,i ji- n .t ,., i t,i imi;n, one , in iio gooi humor, oi) being struck
folloxved h.m all tho xvay to his lodging, fa ' IrjshbsoldiDl, ..Faith an' the Cap.
xvith dcalenmg snouts oi uuzzas.
ts&r In a fight tnlco your friend's part
at a foabt let him have it hirasolf.
Ono of tho Unrecorded Incidents
of tho Camp.
Many a glorious incidout of the Geld, and
many a human action in tho hospitals of
tho army, will bo diacribed by tho lip3 of
our soldiers, but hoir foxr of theso will bo
recorded by tho pens of tko country. Yes
terday we happened to bo in conversation
with ono of our bravo Dauphin county
boys, a soldier from gallant old Wiconisco
toxvuship, who had seen much of tho hard
ship of inareh and tho brunt of tho battle,
and who knoxv what it was to suffer somo
of the impositions of tho hospital. Ho was
with McClollan in the swamps, and was
wounded in ono of tho severe skirmishes
which took placo in that locality. He was
sent to tho hospital, and then, to uso his
own homely but emphatic language, "ho
suffered lots and gob3 of pain, and thought
that at one time ho would be compelled to
fall in good order into tho grave."
While ho was in tho hospital at Harris
on's Landing, he noticed a quiet, benevo
lent, ruiddlo aged lady, hovering over sick
beds like a ministering angel, and passing
among the wounded with the power of a
health-giving, soothing and inspiriting in
fluence. One day tho kind matronly lady
told a number of sick Pcnnsylvanians, that
she would order a lot of oysters to be sent
to tho hospital, as sho believed that stewed
oyster broth would bo invigorating to tho
system. The oysters came, hut tho sur
geon and some of tho nurses Tn ohargo de
cided that they wore not tho thing for tho
sick that a soldier should not luxuriate
ou oyster broth that it would unfit him
for his usual rations when ho was dischar
ged from the hospital "aud theioforo
surgeons and nurses had a grand time over
a splendid oysttr supper that night.
Tho next morning tho same laJy returned,
as ever tho boarer of comfort aud chear
to tho wounded, and upon inquiring after
tho health of her sons, as sh called all in
tho hospital, desierd to kuoxv how they had
rolished their oysters. The poor sick boys
hesitated for a moment, ana then informed ot tho plaintiff, asset forth in the indict
her, that tho oysters had been decided uu- ,lKnt.'
lit food for common soldiers aud that' 'Shall 1 answer the gentleman's ques'
tho gentlemauly nurses and bravesurgeons tion? said Gilruth, turning to tho magis.
had regaled theinsclx'cs xvith those she had
sent, in an oyster supper. A frown sud
denly gathered on her features, but it sud
denly gave way to the placid smilo which
was want to render her countenance so
beautiful in the oyes of tho sick men to
xvhom sho miutstorcd. At this moment
sovcral of the nurses and surgeons appear
ed, and having heard that tho old lady was
inquiring as to tho disposition of the oys
ters, and learning that sho was informed
as to their conduct, attempted to look very
dignified, and in an imperious voice want
ed to kuow why the old woman was inter
fering xvith the men, and what right sho
had to go discontent among tho patients.
She gently remonstrated, and in a seem
ing supplicating voice, said that she
thought bhe had some right in tha hospital.
One of the surgeons next inquired as to
how she sustained that right. This was
answerd by the old lady that she had a son
in tho army. ''Plenty of women havo
sons in tho army, and still they havo no
right to iutcrfere with tho hospitals," was
tho insolont rejoinder. "What is tho name
of your boy, mother," was tho next ques
tion. "Georgo R, MoClellan," mildly
replied the lady. Had a bombshell sud
denly burst in tho midst of those surgeons
and nurses or had tho entiro rebel army
suddenly rushed on the hospital, tho confu
sion could not have been greater among all
present
The surgeons and nurses, soarcely know
ing what thoy did, added to their humilia
tion by tbvir axvkward apologies while
tho sick soldiers who xverc within hearing
of what xvas going on, rose on their pall
ets, ohecrcd and then fell back again xvce
ping and sobbing with ccstacy of joy.
It was tho mother of Major Genoral
Georgo B. McClollan, who h.td been tho
nurse and benclUclor ol tho eiek soldier.
What mother in the land xxill refuse to
invoke Heaven's richest, blessiugs on her
hoad !
A Good Joke. ''Noxv remember,"
said an officer to an Irish soldier, ''when
tho Colonel asks you what battery yon arc
in tell him battery I. Noxv don't forget,"
'No, bo jabbers, I won't forgit," said
Pat. The Colonel met him a day or txvo
afterwards and asked liiiu xvhat tho Cap
tain tolu In tti to say, xvhen Jj.'at stopped
up to tho Colonel anJ without saying a
I ivord, cave him a blow in tho eye
(ain t0.,jd mo 0 i,altor ycr (yo, if ye
i rilied Irishman
took the joke,
ilAUU liiu aimi a Li uiotii'ii, sum tut ivr
The Colonel, ol course
A Striking Illustration.
Many years ago 'assault and battery,
oarao up beforo a magistrate in westorn
Ohio, in which a laxvycr named Ellis was
tho defendant's counsellor, and Elder Gil
ruth, a Methodist preachor, was the plain
tiff's most important xvitness, having by
chance been passing when the fray oo
curcn. Ellis fostered a spirit of revenge
towards tho preacher because ho onco
called public attention towards him at a
camp meeting, wero ho had been guilty of
disorderly conduct, and was determined
upon this occasion to gratify that spirit by
showing up the divine in fantastiaal colors.
The court was crowded, and tho revenge
ful pettifogger xvas gloating in inxvard
rapture over tho lino opportunity which
was about to present itself for repaying
the preacher iu his own currency. Elder
Gilruth was a man of athlelio proportions,
with tho sinews of a yeoman and tho
statoliness and dignity of a field officer,
and as ho took his placo upon tho xvitness
stand all eyes wcro turned upon him. In
his simple, unoiteutatious wanner, ho ro
tated the circumstances of tho affair, as
they occurred. Now came tho counsel's
privilege of cross questioning.
'Did I understand you to say, Mr. Gil
ruth that you saw the defendant striko the
plaintiff?'
'I do not know what you have under
stood,' replied the witness, 'but if my eyes
servo me properly, I ohrtainly did xvitness
a manoeuvre that would warrant that
description.'
Ah, you saxv him striko, then ; will
you please inform tho Court how hard a
blow was inflicted ?'
'As nearly as I can remember,' replied
the xvitness, 'the blow was sufficient to
kcook the plaintiff down.'
'That is not nn Explicit answer, said
the counsel, so-w-what u.-nplusscd by the
preacher's coolness. 'I xvifb you to ex
plain to tho court Iioxt hard a bloxv xvas
mfljotcd by the defendant upon tho person
trate.
'As you please,' returnod tho justico.
'You xvish mo to give you a satibfactory
demonstration of the velocity of tho bloxv
xvhich brought the pluintiff to thogronnd ?'
,1 do,' said Ellis.
'Well then,' continued Gilruth, advan
cing a few tteps towards the eouusul, 'as
nearly as my judgment serves me, tho
bloxv was about equal to that ."
At the saruo instant planting his enor
mous handful of bones directly between
tho laxvycr's eyes, smashing his spectacles
and prostrating tho unlucky 'limb of law'
upon the floor. A simultaneous roor of
applause burst from the delighted audi
ence as tho crest fallen attorney commen
ced gathering himself up from his fallen
dignity, while brother G., as cooly as if
nothing had occurred, regained his formor
position on the stand, and remained wait
ing for further interrogatories. It is uot
necessary to add that the xvitness was dis
missed without further examination, and
that his exclusive testimony convicted the
defendant.
Poon Ellis vowed amply vengeance, but
tho writer is not axvaro that he ever ob
tained it.
Ricii Without Money. Many a man
is rich without monev. Thousands of
men with nothing iu tho pocket, and
thousands without even a pocket aro rich.
A man born with a good sound constitu
tion, a good btomuo a good heart and good
limbs, aud a pretty good hcadpicco,is
rich. Good bones are better than gold
tough muscles, than silver, and nerves
thon flash fire and carry energy to every
function, arc better than houses and
lands.
It is better than a landed cstato to have
tho right kind of father and mother. Good
breeds nnd bad brecdi exist among men
as really do among herds and horses. Ed
ucation may do muob to cheek evil ten
dencies, or to develop good ones, it is but
a groat thing to inherit tho right propor
tion of faculties to start with.
That man is rich xvho has a good dis
position xvho is naturully kind, patient,
cheerful, hopeful, and xvho has a flavor of
wit and fun in his composition, Tho
hardest thing to get along with in this
life is ?. mau's own self. A cross, selfish
fellow, dcspoudlng and complaining fol
low a timid euro-burdened man thoio
have all been deformed on thu inside.
Their feet may not limp but their thoughts
do.
tSf Subsorlbo for tho Democrat.
Select Poetry.
To Abvnlmm.
BY PETER S.NiaOLEFUlTZ.
What aro wo coming to,
Abraiiatr f
What the devil shall xvo do,
Abraham ?
In ninety days, you said,
The Rebellion would bo dead,
As tho South had "nary a red,"
Abraham ;
And old Jeff, would lose his head,
Abraham, 0 Abraham.
Rut more than a year has past,
Abraham,
And still wo aro stuck fast,
Abraham ;
Things look so very bluo
That xvo scarce kuow xvhat to do,
For Jeff. Davis anU his crexv,
Abraham,
Havo quite outxvitted you,
Abraham, 0 Abraham.
Wo are running into debt,
Abraham ;
Richmond is not taken yet,
Abraham ;
Though a year wo have been trying,
Sometimes fighting, sometimes lying ;
Dear experience wo aro buying,
Abraham ;
"That's a fact" there's no denying,
Abraham, 0 Abraham.
Ono million every day,
Abraham,
Is expended, oo folks say,
Abraham ;
Rut that is not auy wonder
Whilst pot Generals all blunder,
Aud our contractors all plunder,
Abraham,
Thero is something xvront 1, thunder 1
Abraham, 0 ' ' .iham.
There is somo ono moncy-iuakiug,
Abraham ;
'That's so 1" thero's ho mistaking,
Abrahem ;
Down in old Virginia pastures,
Whsre wo ought to have been masters,
We have met xvith sad disasters,
Abraham,
Which reduced us to shinplasters,
Abraham, 0 Abraham.
You have millions at your back,
Abraham ;
"Go in," and clear tho track,
Abraham ;
If much longer you delay,
In tho dillydally way
Now mark you what I say,
Abraham
You aro sure to lose tho day,
, Abraham, 0 Abraham.
If you calculate to xvin,
Abraham,
Now's the timo to begin,
Abraham,
To bo firm, bo true and bravo :
Hang each traitor and each knave,
North or South, that don't behave,
Abraham
Then tho Union you may sao,
Abraham, 0 Abraham.
Sunday Dispatch.
A oase occurred many years ago.iu ono
of our courts when a pretty young xvidoxv
was in danger of loosing two thirds of her
husband s estate ; his relations grounded
their complaints on the alleged insanity of
tho defunct. It may
be xrell to premise
that the presiding judge was not only eon
vivial but gallant.
What xvero your husbands last words ?'
inquired tho attorney.
Tho pretty young widow blushed, and
looking down, said, 'I'd rather not tell.'
'But indeed you must, ma'am,
Your claim may bo decided by it.'
Still tho widow declined to auswer. At
last a direct appeal from tbc bench enlict
ed tho information.
'Ho said, 'kiss mo, Polly, and open
that other bottle of ohampaigne.'
Wo do not kuow whether it xvas admi
ration for tho deceased husband or the
living wito that inspired tuo judgo at tht
instant but ho at onco cried, xvith ull the
enthusiasm of conviction:
'Sensible to tho last I'
And gave a verdict in her favor.
M 1 tho xvar he xvas much astonished, as may
Fidelity. Never forsako a friend, well bo supposed. Ho was ou bis xvay to
When enemies gather around whon the Yicksburg to sell his lurabor.
sickness falls on the heart xvhen tho xvorld ! . . , ,,- .
is dark and cheelcss then ii timo to try Old Aoe, Beautiful is old age, beau
true friendship. They xvho turu from tift.l as the sloxv.drooping.mellow Autumn
,5. ; of a ncli, irlorious summer. In the old
tuescenooi aistress, oetray v ir uypoo-
risy, and prove that interest
"OVCS
them. If you have a Iricuu v
oves
: you and studies yous interest u. . happi
j noss bo sure to sustaiu him ii. tversi
ty. Lot him feel that his former kind
ness is appreciated, and that his lovo was
' not thrown away. Real fidolity may bo
, rare, but it exists in tho heart. Who has
'not seen and felt its power? They only
deny its xvorth and power, xvho never have
loved a friend, or labored to make a
friend happy,
A Pastor's Heart Tho following
incident in tho closing scenes of tho life of
tho Rex-. J. Rrown, xvho died lately in
Western Virginia, id givn in tho 2Ve
Presbyterian,
'Dr. Brown, through tho whole curso
of a ministry of near forty years, xvas pre
eminently a man abundant in labors.'
Tho unintermitting zeal with which ho
preached, travelled, and taught in season
and out of season, through his xvholo min
isterial life, must astonish the youngor
generation of our ministry. Thrco servi
ces on the Sabbath, and as many mora
during the week, was an ordinary task with
him. When, in tho exhaustion and dream
iness of tho fever, during his last hours,
his son, tho Rev. J. C. Brownl, asked,
'Father, do you want anything?' 'Nothing
but my work,' xvas his reply. 'What work,
father I' Show mo my people. Where aro
my peoplo V was the rcsponso of tho dy.
iug pastor. Here is tho secret of the im
mense resalts of his labors. Tho all-ab
sorbing desiro of his life had been 'noth
ing but xvork shoxv mo my people.'
The Dead Editor. A paper .in a
neighboring State, after giving a long ob
ituary ot a deceased brother of the quill,
thus in gloxving strains concludes. "Aro
xvc not glad, also, that such an editor is
in heaven 1 There the cry of mercy copy'
shall never bo heard. There ho shall
never be abused any more by his politi
cal antagonist, xvith lies and detractions
that should shame a demon to promulgate-.
There he shall no more be used as a lad
der for tho aspiring- to kick doxvn as thoy
roach the desired height and need him no
more. There he shall be able to see thn
immense masses of mind he has moved
all unknoxvingly and unknoxvn as he has
been during his xvcary pilgrimage ou
earth. There ho xvill find all articles
credited, and not a clap of his thunder
stolen aud there shall be no horrid ty
graphical errors to set him iu a fever.
Wg arc glad the editor is in heaven,"
One Drop at a Time. Have you
ever xvatohed an icicle as it formed ? You
noticed how it 'froze ono drop at a timo
until it xvas a foot long, or inoro. If tho
water was clean, the icicle remained clear,
and sparkled brightly in the sun ; but if
tho xvator was but slightly muddy, tho
iciolo looked foul, and its beauty was
(.poiled. Just so our caricters aro form
ing ope little thought, or feeling at a
time adds its influence. If each thqught
be pure aud right, tho soul xvill .be lovely,
and will sparkle with happiness ; but if
impure and xvroiig, thero xvill be final de
formity aud wretchedness.
Fruit or a Little Seed, Broom
corn, of which great quantities are raised
iu tho Mohawk Valley, in New York,
Pennsylvania, Ohio, and tho Valley of tho
Connecticut , is a native of Iulia. As Dr,
Franklin xvas examining a XYhisk of tho
corn in the possession of a lady in Phila-
dclphia, he found a seed xvhich ho planted,
from which xvas derived tins vaiua&lo pro
dut- The weeping willows in Englam
I ?,nu AU V? "u '6
( J. ope, mo lungusii peer, iu a uiis&uii ui uga
from turkey, xvhich he planted in his gar
den.
Bad Manners. Loafers going into a
printing office, and standing gazing over
the compositors' shoulders, reading tho
copy which thoy aso setting; also, tho han
dling of type and other things which do not
iutorest thorn. Wo hopo thoso knowing
themselves guilty of this practice will ap
ply this kind noiice to themselvos, and act
in accordance,
U3T A Lumberman from up tho Yazoo
-sr. .1 1 t . 1
river, Miss., recently camo on Doaru tno
TJ. S
gunboat Reuton, who had novcr
heard of tho secession troubles. Ho had
I bceu in tho gum sxvamps for four years 5
during a largo portions of the timo ho
I bad not seen a bingle human being.
I Whon hornet our tmuboats and heard of
i mn- NaUrr0 has fulfilled her xvork : she
I, i i.: :.i. i. r-..: ' ...ll
IlKlUb llllll Willi IIIU iriuiB ui u will Oliciiv
life ; and surrounded by his children, sho
rocKs nun axvny soniy 10 mo grave, iu
which ho it folloxved by blessings.
EST If truth and fearless integrity lud
no other refugo in thu xvorld, thoy ought
to have in tho pulpit an unconquerable
fortress.
BtSrli the American Union wore to
perish, the world might as well bo made a,
bonfire,
i t
Hi,
i .
I St.
1