COLUMBIA
OCRAT,
AND BLOOMSBURG GENERAL ADVERTISER.
liEVB li. VAT 13, Editor.
"TO HOLD AND TRIM Til H TORCH OP TRUTH AND WAVE IT O'ER THE DARKENED EARTH."
TERMS: 2,00 I'ER ANNUM.
VOL. 16. NO, 13.
BLOOMS BURG, COLUMBIA COUNTY, PENN'A, SATURDAY, MAY 31, 1862,
VOLUME 26.
ti'
GOEUMBIA DRMOORAT.'
l'UBMSIIM) EVEUY SATURDAY, 11Y
LEVI L. TATE,
IN BLOOMSBOHO, COLOMBIA COUNTY, FA,
o f Tic e
fn Uit'mu Drill It nit ding, apposite the Etthtngt, by ttdt
tthe Court lhutc. "Democratic Jlcail Quartcri,"
TERMS OF 8U1W0UIPTION.
SI 00 In advance, for one copy, fur ll muiitlit.
1 74 In advance, for ouu copy, one yenr.
3 00 If not paid within tin) lirnt tlitrc montlii,
a Si IDiot paid within lliu first six months.
2 30 If not p.iUI within the year.
By No snlucrlptloii taken tut less than six montlu,
nd no papcr.disconliuucd until nil arrearage, shall havu
t.eu paid. ,
U7 OrdiuarvAm'EnTtsi'.MfcNTi inserted, nnd Jou Work
executed, at the estubllshoilpricci,
BALTIMORE LOOK. HOSPITAL
KBTABLltflinU Ari A KlU'Ui'l' 1'llOM QUACKERY.
The Only Flacc whete a Cine can be
Obtained.
D It. JOHNSTON has discovered the ino.t Curtain,
tipecdy uinl only I'lleitiiiil Remedy in tin! World
for all privatu Diseases, Wcnl.iiei's of the Hack or
Limbs, Htrliture". Ah"oi.lluus of thu Kldue). and Iliad
Cer, Involuntary Discharges, Impotency, (icnernl He
oillty, Nervoumcss, llyspepsy, Languor, Low Spirits
Contusion of idem, l'dlplintiuii of thu Heart, Timidity,
Trambllngs, Dimness ol Sight or ii,ldlm"s, Decani of
the llead, Throat, Nun or t-Kln, Atlertiniis of the l.ivir
Lungs, Stomach or liuvvi.1 Hhhu t-rriblo lilrorder-i
arising from theSolituryllablts of Youth-tliiou' su ut.T
uud sslltary practice more fatal to their v iiiims than
tlia sung ol Hi reus to the .Marines of I'ly-sos, blight
ing their most hriiliitit hopes or iintiupatiuiis, render
ing marriage, itc. iiupustlula.
fou x si e m
Especially, who have become the vlftlnn of Solitary
Vice, that dreadrul and diXructlvo habit vv hii li annu
ally .weep to an untimely grave thousand- of Young
Men of the moat exalted talents mid brilliant intellect,
who might olherwiiu have entr.imnl listening tSuiiali'S
with thu thunders of ilo'pioiiro 01 i.ked toic.tusv Hie
livinjc lyre, may call Willi full coulldence.
M a n it i a ; n.
Marrlod persons, or Young Men conteiiiplnfin; mar
flare, being nvvaieof ph, skill wiukm-si, organic deabili
ly, deformities, &c.. spro-dily Hired.
Ho who places liiimelf under the care of llr. Johnston,
may rellgion-dy conlidi' in his honor as u gentlemen, and
confidently rely upon Ins skill as 11 physitian.
o li (J a n i c w u a ic n i: d a
Immediately cured and foil vigor restored.
This Distresbiug Allectiou tilikli renders life nils
. ruble and mariiaiio impossible is the penalty paid by
tin victims of improper indulgence.. Young per
ous are too apt to i.ommlt excels from not bviiig
aware of the dreadful coinr'pieno- that may eiiMie,
Now, who lli.it iitider.taiiiU the mlurct will pre
Mail to deny 111 it the povv er of pro.-reatinu i lo.-t sooner
by those falling "it" improper h.ibilu tlian by tin' prudent.
BiSldos UJing deprived of the pleasure of health) oil
.priiigs, lliu nnul serious anil dP.-triuiive symptom-to
both body and iiiiud urie. The system becomes derails
d; the physical and nieiit.il I inn tloiii. utakeued, loja
of procreutiie power, nervous in liability, llyspopsia
palpitation of lliu heart. lndi):e-tion. cuiistltutndiat de
tiility, a wustiiii! of the I'rainu, t'oujjh, Coiiminption,
il.cay and death.
ornui:, No. : south nti:i)i:uicK stukkt.
Lift hand sidu goiu'4 from ilaltiinore street, a few doors
frouithe coniur. l-,ail not toobserve name and iiuiulK'r.
Letters iuu-t be y tld and contain a hluiup. i he Uuc- '
tor'. IJiploin.is liuiin' in his olbce.
ACUlli: W A lilt A NT i: It IN TWO UAYti
.NO MMtlUllY Hit N tl'sfcOCS mieos.
;(. juti.vyro.v
Member of the Kuj.il L'olltito of Surgeons, London,
Jraduate fro.u one of the luo-t euiiiii'iit Colleges of thu
United, Bl'il' S. and III - greater part of whose life has
I) ceo .pent in Hie first Hospitals ol London, l'.uis, I'hila
' dclphlaand elsew heri'. has ellVited Mime of thu most as
' toaulliug cures that were ever known; many tioubled
i with ringiiu' in the h ad n ml ears when asleep, gieal
i ucrvousness. b-'ing alarmed at Hidden sounds, uud h.ii-h-
fuliic.i, with lre-pienl t liishi.ig, attended oim times with
derangement of mind, wen: cured immediately
k T A K K 1' A It T 1 C U L A It N O 'J' I C II.
tir. . addresses all those who have inluii d thenisi Ives
by improper indulgence ami solit.uy huhiU, whiiliru-1
in buth body and miad, iinlitnig tluiu fur either bui- i
uess, itudy, society or marriage.
I These are sniii" of tin.- sad and im'laiuholy rtretts prre
iuced by earlv habits of youth, . : Weakness of the .
t Hack and Luiihs, Pain in thu Head, Dimness of fight,
i Los. of Muscular 1'ower, Palpitation of the ll.art. llys. .
., ii-nsia. XerMius Irralaliilils . D.-raiigeinent of the Hig,-s
tiv. Functions, (ieucral Debility, sjiuptu.iisuf (Juiisump.
lion, Sec.
" J1KNTALLY. The fearful ellects on thu mind aro
11 much to be dreaded, Loss of Mi mory, L'onfUbiun of lib-as
1 Dopre.sion of the Spirit, Uvil rorebndings, Aversion
r Is Hociety, self-.iis'.rust, love of solitude, Timity, &c,
ore soinu of the evils produced.
1 Thousands of persons of all ages can how judge what
, I. tho cause of their declining health. Loosing their
vigor,-b3Couiiiig weak, pale and emanated, having sin
' cular nppearaiic about the ejes, cough and syinptuiiis ol
"' Consumption.
YOUNU M I! N.
Who liav ijur.l Itttoselves hy n eerrnlti prartlr."
Indulged in wli -n alone -a habit fre.ptenlly learned from
evil companions, or at school -the ellects ul" winch uro
nightly felt, even when a-h-ep, and if not cured renders
marriage impossible, and destroys buth iiiiud and body,
ahould apply iiiuiiedialily.
What u pitt that aouug man, the hnie of his rciiutry
and the durling of his parents, should be suatihed from
All prospects and enjoyments of life, hy the coneuen
res ef deviating fiom the path of nature, and nidulgiHg
in a certain secret habit. Such persons nvsr bulure
.outeiiiplatiiig
M A It it I A 0 13,
reflect that a found mind and body are the inot ne
. cessary rctpiiMties to promote louunldal happiness
Indeed, without these the jouriie) through life becomes
a weary pilgrimage, the prospect hoiiily darkens to
. Iho viuw; tlie mind becomes shadowed Willi denpair Sc
' tilled with the im laiiLlioly rell -i lion that the liappmess
of another becomes Idiglited with our own,
DISi'.ASi: 1)1" lMI'RUIIBN'I'i:,
When tho misguided ami imprudent votary uf pleasure
finds ho has imbibed the seeds of tins painful disease, it
u too often happensthil an ill timed seiiAC ofdiunio or
t slread of discovery, deters him trum npplv lug lo thoso
who from eilucatiou nml respectability can alone befriend
t iliim, delaying till Hie coiititutiomil syuipioius ofthis
- horrid disease makes their appearance, such as ulceitited
' orc throat, diseased nose, nocturnal, pains in thuhiad
ul d limlis, dimness of stylit, duafuess, nodes on thu shlu
bones, and units, blotch -s on tho 'lead, fare and extreme
l fiies. uroiressing with rauidit V .til I lit last the pal.He of
the mouth and bones of the noso fall in, and the v ictiiu of
this desiiuo becomes a horrid ohleclof roiuiiiissertttion
(ill death puts u period to his dreadful miter ings, liy sen
ding him to "that buuruu from whence no traveler ro -turns."
It is a MtancAoy ,icr that thousands fall victims to
' this terrible disease, owing to the uns'iillfulfiii'ss of ig
norant pretenders, witu, by thi uu of that Jttnjlij rot
ton, Jlrrcury, ruin th i constitution mid make the resi
dua of life miserable.
ti T It A N fi U It H
Trust not your lives, or health, to the cue of tho ma
ny Unlearned and Worthless Pretenders, dotituto of
knowledga, mine or cliuraiter.nhocopy Dr. Jonnrleii's
" Advertiseineiils, or tlyie themselves, in the new spapcrs,
" regularly educated I'liv.iciaus iuctipalde of t'liring.ibey
' ' keep you trilling lunula alter inoiilh taking their fnthy
and pnisouui compounds, or as long a, the smallet fee
' ' ran be obtained, uud in despair, leave you with ruined
' ti.'allll to sigh over your gallliug disappointment.
Dr. Johnson is the only I'hysicJan advertising.
" His credential or diplomas always hang in his office,
" His romedius or treatment nru unknown to all otlars,
prepared from u life spent in the great hospitals of Uu
' rope, til. lirst in this country and a noire evtemivu I'ri
raie Practice th in iiuv other 1'hyslclaii in the world.
INDOKSIJ.MUNT or Till! I'ltUriS.
Tho many thousands cured at this iiit!tittinn yenr nf
' tor year, nnd thi iiiiiuuro is iiuporlant Surtiral Opera
tioni porforuied by Dr. Johnston, witnessed by lliu re
potters of tho "run," "Cyjipur." and many other p.iu rs
, notice, of which have appeared again ami again before
the public, besides his sUiidiugas a gentlemen of ilnr
,. acter and roinonsiliility, i a siitllciuiit giurauteu to the
bkin nisiiAsns si'i:i:i)ii.Y cuitnii.
rerson. writing should In pariicular in directing their
1 Utters to his Institution, in the following manner:
. J(lll M. JOIINoTON. SI. D.
Of the naltimofo Lock Hospital. Ualllmore, .Marvlaiid
Un 1l1fllV) rtnr.. 17 ISI'.O
.March 17, leCO,
TINWARE & STOVE SHOP,
' riMIR undersigned respectfully informs his old friendl
, X and ciiituuiers. t hut ho hnu purchased his brothers
interest in the above establishment. mid Iho concern wilt
llsreaftiT In) cnndurled by himself exclusivity.
" j. Ho ha. Just received uud oilers for sale, Hie larg
,dfl est ami most exli nsivii assortment nf FANCY
" im HTO Vi:ri ev r introduced into this market.
in- nSVi His stork cousi.U of a complete assortment of
thu best rooking and pallor stove in the market, togclh
,r witll fitnvo Fixtures of every description, Oven nnd
Box Stoves, Hailiamrs, ('jlludar Stoves, Cut Iron Air
Tight itove'i Cannon Htoves, &c &c Plovepipe uud
Tinware constantly on hand and nianufaitiircd to order.
r- AH kinds of tepuiriiig done, as usual, on short notice.
I Tim pstronage of old friends and new i uttoinir. re
,;'iyjfuly solintfd, A .M Kl'l'ERT.
BfoomsbjrE Nov mbsi 3'U'CU. tf
i tv
Origiual Poetry.
for the Columbia Democrat,
A REVERIE.
hy rev. mm suttoh.
The evening wn. beaullfiil, pleasant and gay,
The llowers sunt forth, the rich odors of May,
The pale moon vvns tinning, with soft mellow light,
And lliu star-spongled heavens smiled down on tho eight
I wandered alone near n beautiful stream,
To meditate freely, on nature's fair scene,
When .uih'cntliercBcemcd, tlir'othu fre.h budding tree.
A low w nlllng murmur, a nigh In the brtezo.
I turned mo to sec from whence came thu sound,
And saw a joung female, bunt low o'er it mound,
SSho plucked the wild flower., so fragrant and gay,
And scattered tlicui o'er w here her dear loved one lay.
T lien said In a plaiuiiiio nml soul. touching cry:
0 I lovely and loved one, why hast thou to die f
01 Dentil, inexorable, what hast thou Iodic t
Thou hast taken my bust, and my only loved one.
I call, but noniiRWcroiibrdsinu relief,
I call nml my echo, hut mucks at my griff,
Otlml I could pierce, with my oiio, the cold clay,
And speak that my loved one, could hear what 1 say.
But the last link is broken, that binds me to earth.
I OUtiuefoigetall my sorrows iudeath,
Let me lie down and nu the grave of my friend,
1 ask not, 1 need nut a huppicr end.
While thus she laminted her loved one's sad fato
And mournfully .poke of hur own wretched stale,
The ricraph-likc form of an Angel of light,
Immortally cluthcd, stuud full in her sight,
He gave her ti wreath of tho flowers of love,
That he culled from the fair of the garden above.
Then spoku 111 the language of Cod's holy word,
tiajiiig "b'tsl are the dead who die In the Lord,"
They rest from their labors of love when they dlo,
To resume them again with their baviour on high,
Where llowers ne'er wither and death is noiuoro,
And inning, and sighing, and keeping no more.
Then drv up jour tears, ami weep not for the dead,
l'ur they shall be raised, the Savior halli said,
1'rtparu then, to meet him on thatblessed shore,
Where fiieuds shall unite, to be parted no mure.
She heard him w ith rapture, nnd smiled thro' her tears,
lllswords so consoling, had chased all her fuars,
liy faith flie luoked upward, and heard from the throne,
A cure confirmation, that all shall be done.
Il.;r mind then was trnnnuil, her tears lied away,
U'iili patience I'll wait all the uppointe-l day,
"J ill the word of my change from the Father is given,
Submission I II bow to the mandates of Heaven.
A'lH Hater, l'a., IttiJ.
Interesting Story.
THE ANDREWS FAMILY
IN THE CITY.
"1ad tola U3 gals that wlion Lo got
through harvGst he'd take us all down to
the city; bo wo put on our broad brimmed
suu-bonnots, to preserve our complexions,
and set to work raking hay for we ex
pected to cut a great swell in the city.
Wo worked smart for dad, so as to have
him got through, we were so anxious, just
like one is when they're waiting for their
beau to come Sunday night.
" Jane Ann, she made her borage; Bet,
she altered over her lilack silk, and I
trimmed my Tuscan with red. whito and
blue flowers. It looked stylish, 1 tell ye.
Well, wo were moro'n a fortnight fixing
up, before dad was ready to start. Final
lie bitched in the old marc, and wo six
gals bundled in.
'"Twasa splendid morning, and every
thing looked as serene as frisking lambs
in a pasture. Dad drove up side of tho
park, as he called it ; it looked liko a
great pasture, though if they'd had any
sense they'd cut down some of
them trees, if thoy expected to raiso half
a crop, Most all the ground was covered
by the shade, and you know that grass
that grows iu the shade aiu't half as sweet
as that which has tho sun.
"Wo went across the street and got sev
en two cent glasses of small beer, just to
wash the dust out of our throats; when we
all want back to the wagon and got in.-
Just then we saw a traiuiug company com
ing down tho street; the band was playing
Top goes tho wescl' like sixty. Dad
reined up tho boss and axed a man if the
Mexican war had broko out ag in. Tho
sassy coot, ho bust right out a laughing,
and says he :
" 'I gues-s you don't tako tho papers up
in your part of the couutry. do you?'
"Dad never answered him, and I would
n't if I'd been him ; ho just hit tho old
mure a clip with the whip and sung out,
'g'lang.'
"Whcu tho military company got closo
by tho wagon, tho musio put right into it
as loud as it could. The old inaro'e four
teen years old, but if you'd seen herprauco
you'd thought her a co't. Dad hollorcd
at her but sho only acted worso. Tho
foro wagon wheel struck something in tho
road, when tho old marc civo an awful
jump and Angcliuo and I, who wcro bittiug
on the back seat, went right out of tho
wagon kerslam. You sco tho seat tipped
back, aud wo wcro so heavy that over wo
went, light into tho mud. It was dry
enough out homo, but Ret declared that
sho saw a sprinkling pot goiug up tho
streets, drawu by a boss. For tho life of
mo I can't toll what thoy should do that for;
mud's bad enough when wo are obligod
to have it without waking it.
"It's a wonder that wo didn't break our
Kecks. Tho gala and dad wcro cenamost
scared to death, but tho folks that woro
looking on seemed mighty tickled about it.
Dad ho just spit out a littio of his mind
right on tho spot, and ho told them thoy
didn't know no bettor than to laugh at an
unfortunate fomalo's misfortunes 1
"I wouldn t have cared a snap if I had'
n't give my lu5c.au such a jam, Angelino
daubed her face all over mud, aud I went j
with her to a pump that was there on tho j
pari:, auu she washed Lor face. Dad ;
bought a cocoa nut and cracked it on tho
iron fenco that was around tho pasture.
After wo ato that up he axed us if wo didn't
want to sco a stoamboat. Of courso wo
said ycs;so he fastened tho hossgood and
strong, and wc started. 'Twas a
killing
way to walk, but wo got there finally
'"Twas as pretty as a picturo', that
steamboat. It was right closo up to what
they called the dock, and there was a thing
made out of boards to walk on to it on.
Dad went fust, and wo gak follercd. I
toll yo it was furnished as nico inside as
Deacon Brown's parlor ; tho wood was
corved and golded. It was splendid, and
no mistake !
"What puzzled mo was were the folks
slept. Dad took us down stairs and show
ed us some little shelvcr all arouud tho
room ; and then wo all wcut down into
the kitchen. I told a nigger woman who
was there how to make some gingerbread;
for sho was housekeeper for tho steamboat,
and I thought I'd be doing a favor; but
tho pesky thing, sho grinned clear round
to her cars, and showed her teeth and
rolled up her eyes, and says she :
"I guess you'so from the rural districts?
"I never answered her, but kept right
straight after dad. He took us down into
the place in the basement of the steamboat
where they had their machinery and steam
arrangemcuts ; but they had such a big
fire down there, and was so pesky hot that
we soon left. We hadn't any moro than
got through the chambers of tho boat and
up into the parlor, then dad heard a man
say, 'Well, there goes the bell ; tho boat s
agoiu' to start '.'
" 'Cut sticks, gals,' said dad, and wc"
run with all our might, dad right closo af
ter us. Wo got across us gals tho
plank concern, and then turned round to
sec if dad was coming. They wore pull
ing the great plunk into the boat; dad
looked scared; ho ruu, and tho men who
wero pulling iu the plauk larfcd an hol
lorcd out:
" 'Go it, country 1'
"Jest that minute there como a man
runniu ', pufiin' and blowin', trying to get
on tho boat aforo it left. IIo was in such
a pucker that ho 'bout knocked mo over.
Ho didn't sec dad ; they both sprung at
the same time tho man for the boat, and
dad for tho land. Plump they btruok
right agin each othor, and right dowu into
the briny deep they went. Dad said af
terwards that tho water tasted about as
much liko Csh or pork brine as anything
that he knowed on.
"Tho folks on tho boat, which was go
ing way off by this time, cheered just liko
a Fourth of July celebration, and tho poo
plo on tho shoro hollered and larfcd. I
was so mad that I could have slapped them
right in tho face, and says dad sputter
ing, kicking and splattering
' 'Laugh at a fellow's misfortuues .'
"JJut there was some real Kind men
they took some long poles with things kin
der shaped liko fish. hooks on tho ends
thoy called them boat hooks. Tho strango
man could swim, and ho swum and scram
bled up on to tho shoro, but them men
they hitched them ere hooks right into tho
slack of dad's trousers and drawed him
right out of tho water. Waru't ho a sight!
he looked just liko a cat that had becu
ducked into a mill-pond.
"Let's go'n' tako somcthin1, said tho
stranger, smiliii'; but dad looked as blue
as an indigo bag ; he didn't no what else
to iay so says he:
"Don't caro if I do.'
"Tho strango man wont ahead and wc
and dad followed him. Biuicby we come
to a placo where the lowor panes of tho
window whero whito, so you couldn't seo
through 'cm. Tbink's I that must bo a
great thing, that must. What's glass good
for if you can't look through it ? Dad
told us to wait outside, and ho and tho
strauger went in. Angelino and I stood
up on tip-too and pooped through tho up
per panes of tho window. Dad was drink
ing something poured out of a tumbler;
they seemed to bo on first rato tcrnn a
talkin' aud luughin'. Wo gals got cena
most tired to death waitin' out there.
Dad and tho Etraugcr kopt drinkin' and
drinkin more than a dozen times, aud then
dad como to tho door, and says he :
(C 'Oomo in gals and get some calm soup.
"So wo went in, and dad called on the
man that tended to fetch on his calm soup
for eight, and plenty of broth. Then the
etrango man got some sassaparilla for us
gals, aud some, of that other drink for
him and dad. By tho time wo got tho
sassaparilla swallowed 'twas beautiful to
drink, but as cold as if it had como out
0f tho north cast corner of tho North Polo
tho soup was ready aud all smoking hot;
but whilo wo'd been cobblin' our drink
down liko chickcus swallowing dough,
dad and the stranger had driuked two or
three times.
"Well, wo sot down to a table, and tho
way wc shoveled in tho soup was a caution.
After we'd finished dad told tho man to
fill cm up again, then ho and the stranger
took another drink. Well, after wo got
through, dad shook hands with tho stran
ger, and we started lo go back to tho park
where wc had left the old marc hitcliGd.
"Dad hadn't any more than got out of ;
tho door than he fell full leught right down
into thu dirt, which stuck all over his new
clothes. He got up and went on a few
feet further, and then down ho went again.
Angelino and I raised him, for wo were
afcerod that he might have hurt him. If
you'd believe it, the very first step be went
down head first; that kinder madded me,
and says I:
"'Hain't you big enough to walk?'
"Somo little boys began to snicker and
laugh, aud says dad, tryiu' to raise up.
kinder stutterin':
" 'Larf at a feller's misfortin'I
" 'What's tho matter, dad V says I kin
der takin' pity on bin, for I thought tho
poor critter might be sick. He didn't say
anything, but kept a hiccuping.
" 'It's wind on his stummick,' said An
gcliuo. " 'Clams,' said dad, kinder mournfully .
"Now I'd always hcird tell that clams
were mighty unhealthy in the summer
season. 1 never knew tho symntons ot
colleray afore it's kinder curious how it
j wiH throw folks down. I thought the
best thing we could do was to 6troak it
back to the park aud cct homo with dad
just as soon as wo could, for 1 was afeared
though I didn't say anything to tho gals
about it that some of us would bo took.
I believe I should myself, if I hadn't been
so anxious 'bout dad and the rest on 'em.
"Angelino and I just pulled him up and
took him by the arm and walked along.
'Twas a dreadful tedious job, I toll ye,
pullin', hauliu' aud luggin' him along, and
wo got completely tuckered out by the time
we got to tho park.
"I don't know why folks should exult
at other folks' misfortunes, but everybody
that wc passed grinnod and laughed liko
monkeys, well, they say it's humau na
tur. "When wc got to tho park dad seemed
to foci considerable better. Wo sot him
down on the gras'i and let him lean back
against a trco, and then I w;nt and bought
a pint bottle full of good old cherry brau
dy, for 1 knowed it would bo good for
him. I took a swallow or so myself, and
then mado tho gals drink too, 'I ho rest
that was left I poured down dad's throat.
"Then wo unhitched tho old marc and
got ready to go homo. I told Angelino
to drive, and I would have dad set on tho
seat with mc. Tho gals all got in but An-
i gclino and me ; wo h'istcd dad up into
mo wagon, auu men we goi in.
" 'Just put tho old niaro over tho road,'
said I.
"Angelino hit her a whacking dip with
tho end of the lines. She'd been standing
there so long, and got so restless and un
easy, that sho givo an awful jump and sent
dad olean out of tho wagon, and almost
jerked my ncek off from my shoulders.
Angelino stoppod the niaro as soon as sho
could, aud wo piled out. Just then a man
with a blue coat all covered over with
brass buttons, just liko a military officer,
como up. IIo had a big star gilt just like
his buttotis.
" 'What's the matter?' ho axed.
" 'Why, ho fell into the ocean off tho
steamboat, aud then ho ate two bowls of
calm soup, and 1 don't bcliovo it agreed
with his stummick.'
" 'What's ho drinked?' said he, kinder
laughing, hough I didn't seo anything to
laugh at.
" Somcthin' iu a tumbler,' answered
Jano Ann, taking tho words out of my
mouth and answering beforo I could speak.
" 'Yes, I should think so,' ho said, so
kinder impudent and uubelovin', and then,
says ho 'I'm a polico oflioer j I guess I'll
tako caro of him;1 aud ho roached out to
tako dad by tho coat collar, whcu I just
stepped up, aud says
" 'I rather rccon you wou'tl'
" Angelino and I lifted dad into tho
wagon, and wo hustled in ourselves and
started, taking care to got a going easy.
I don't belicvy the old marc ever did any
taller trottin' than she did then.
"Dad was the sickest crcatur' going
home I ever saw, and I don't seo why
mnrni was so mad with him when wo got
home; for my part, I felt mighty sorry
for him, and so did tho rest of us, I don't
know what's tho reason, but dad has nev
er been to tho city since, without martn's
boon with him, aud he's ato cl ama many
a time since and not been sick, as ho was
that time."
Gleason's Literar y Companion,
Congress and tho Nigger.
Congress is still busy with tho nigger
ijucbiiuu, tu lite oeuaic. tjn tuo lutii, a
I niotiou was made by Mr. Powell of Ken
tueky to striko from thu confiscation bill
' that portion which authorizes tho Prosi-
dent to oaganize and employ negroes to
put down the rebellion, but was defeated.
In the House, Mr. Richardson of Illi
nois believes that the strcngt of the army
was sufficeut to put down rebellion, but the
indications were that another and inferior
race were to be armed and uniformed and
placed on an equality with tho whites.
The legislation of Congress is almost exclu
sively with regard to the negro. They
have abolished slavery here, and to the
contrabands rations are daily distributed.
Where is the evidence that rations arc is
sued to the poor whito people ? Supplies
at the rate of a hundred and forty four
thousaud dollars per annnm arc distribu
ted among the blacks, while the people of
Illinois are selling corn at eight cents per
bushel to pay the taxes thus imposed up
on them. Thoy wcro employing negro
teamsters and issuing supplies to negroes,
paying in this district for them alone more
' than would support the State Government
' of Iowa, Minnesota, Michigan, Vermont,
Connecticut, Maine, Rhodu Island, New
, Hampshire or New Jersey. Not only
1 here but elsewhere aro the negroes sup
' ported by orders of tho Government, or
J through the Quartermaster, Besides these
and other things for the benefit of the ne
gro, you propose to send to anil receive
from llayti, duly accredited Miucsters.
He repeated that Congress legislated al
most exclusively for the negro. But what
i were thoy doing for the children whose
j fathers have fallen on the battle field ?
, Comparatively nothing. Whito men arc
required to procure passes to enter our
lines, while negroes can enter them without
! such passes. Ho asked ; was it the pur
pose of tho majority hero to make tho ne
groes the equals of the whites? He briefly
showed that tho history of the world had
I proved this impossible. All these aud
I kindred questions have to bo discussed be
fore tho people during the coming autumn,
i He hoped that the extreme men would bo
driven from the public councils into places
where they could do no more mischief.
lie repeated that tho legislation of Con
gress had been disastcrous. Look as an
instance, at Teuucssce, over which has
been placed a Governor popular and en
ergetic, with fair administrative abilities ;
with two thirds of tho pcoplo of that Stato
opposed to scccsrion, he has been unablo
to restore her to tho Union. Why? Be
cause you have been constantly exciting
their apprehensiuns that you intend to vl
olate the Constitution and strip the pcoplo
of all their rights, instead of confirming tho
impression that wherever our flag floats
they shall be protected in all their rights,
including thoso of persons aud property,
II ow to Save Gikdled Tkees. A
correspondent furnishes a valuable modo
of saving young fruit trees girdled by tho
mico, as many arc likely to have been this
winter. Ho doei it by inserting what ho
calls conductors over tho wouuds, as fol
lows : "Titko large sciou3, long enough
to reach over tho girdling, scarf off each
end about uu inch on the sido to go next
to tho trco, thou turn your scions over,
and on the upper end cut a short bevel ;
after having haviug douo this tako a
smooth instrument, raiso tho bark on the
trco say au inch, or sufficiuut to reccivo
each end, and carefully crowd tho seion
under ; if tho bark adheres firmly to tho
tree, cut a short slit. If tho operation bo
carefully performed I have no doubt of its
success. Seven years ago I had several
applo trees entirely girdled by tho mico ;
I tried the abovo method, and thoy aro
now thrifty, and tho barklcss spots nearly
closed over,"
No man can leave a better legacy to thc
ii.i it i i
worm tuau a wen eaucaiou lumiiy.
Select Poetry.
John Charles Fremont, My Jo.
John Charles Fremont, my Jo, John, when nature form,
cd the plan
To mako another ruco, John, betwixt baboon ttfi
man.
Blie manufactured you, John, but would no further
go-
Dlsgustcd with the ip.ilmcn, John Cuarloi Fremont,
my Jo.
John Charles Froinont, my Jo John, when flrit wo sent
you West,
To seo vvhnt you could do, John, you wero alt brightly
dressed;
Uut that which won our hearts, John, was th vroyyou
woro your hair,
From crow n lo forehead parted, J.hn, in lints 10 ttnouta
and fair.
John Chariot Fremont, my Jo John, the resion linen I.
plain
Your head is but n cranky erafl, and destitute of brain,
Mo easily upset, John, you are compelled totrim
Its rigging with precision, John, to make the frail thing
swliu.
John Charles Fremont, my Jo John, on Rocky Mountain
grouud
You lost your senses, as wall a. way, and nsither sines
have found,
Hut this strange parldox exist among the TV-dsns
crew
Tho bigger fool you ate, John, the mors they worship
you.
John Charles Fremont, my Jo John, wo triad y.u in
Missouri,
And there you soon contrived, John, to cook a bad yol
y.wrri ;
To speak in other word., John, as e'en your friends
confess
Though lying sycophants you mad. a dent of a mess
Johu Charles Fremont, my Jo John, you filched from
Btockton'shand
The honor bravely won in light. In California', strand,
And now, ou l'rinco of Charlatan., you aud year
paudering pack,
Would pluck the laurel, from the Irow of glorious "Lit
tle Hack"
Johu Charles Fremonl, my Jo John, to you we're had
our say,
And recommend to you, John, to take yourself away
To tlee to Mariposa, John, at fast at you can go,
And tight the ciualters ou your trad, Jehu C. Frciaent,
my Jo.
And wlion your life is o'er, Juhn, we hope thert'U be a
place
For niggers, you and Greeley and other, of that race,
If this shall be impossible, we hope that you will go
Forever to the Devil, Johu John Charles Fremont, my
Jo.
Miscellaneous.
The Tax Bill.
Since tho report of the tax bill, pub
lished somo time since, was given to the
public, several new amndmcnts havo bscn
made to it, as follows :
For kissing a pretty girl, 81.00.
For kissing a homely one, 82.00 the
extra amount being added probably as a
punishment for the man's folly.
For ladies kissing ono another, Ten
Dollars. The tax is placed at this rato
in order to break up tho custom altogether,
it being regarded by our M. O.'a as a
piece of inexcusable absurdity.
For every flirtation, 10 cents.
Every young man who has moro than
ono "girl" is taxed $5.00.
For courting in the kitchen, 25 conta.
Courting in tho sitting room, 50 cents.
Courting in the parlor, 81.00,
Courting in a romantic placo, 85.00,
and 50 conts for each offence thereafter.
Seeing a lady homo from churoh, 25
cents for each offence.
Scciug her homo from the dimo society,
5 cents tho proceeds to bo appropriated
to the relief of disabled army chaplains.
From a lady who paints, 50 cents.
For wearing low-necked drcsseo, 81.00.
For each curl in a lady's head above
ton, 5 cents.
For every unfair device for entrapping
young men into tho sin of matrimony,
S5.00.
For wearing hoops larger than ton feet
in circumference, 61 cents for oaoh hoop.
Old bachelors over thirty aro taxed
810.00.
Over forty, 820.00.
Over fifty, S50, and sentenced to ban
ishment iu Utah.
Each pretty lady is to bo taxed from
25 cents to $25, she to fix tho estimate on
her own beauty. It is thought that a vory
largo amount will bo realized from this
provision.
Each boy bady, 50 cents.
Each girl baby, 10 cents.
Families having moro than eight babies,
aro not to bo taxed.
EST A Western editor, haying figured
up tho cost of tho war to date, says the
Government has already oxpended enough
to purchaso every nigger in tho United
States, and to furnish each ono with a
flannel shirt, a copy of tho Now York
Tribune and a quill toothpick.
JSJ An intelligent farmer being asked
if his horses were woll matched, replied,
"Yes, thoy oro matohed firstrato ; ono of
thorn is willing to do all tho worl and
Uio other is willing be ehould."
Buevities of TaouaiiT. Accursed
is ho who sins in ignorance, if that igno
ranco, is caused by sloth.
A house is no untse, unless it contains
food and firo for tho mind, as well as tho
body.
In saying that our days aro few, wo say
too much, Wo havo but ono s tho nasfc
aro not ours, and who can promiso us tho
future ?
Unhallowed desires often prove to bo
like tho Grecian firo, which consumes, but
cannot bo extinguished.
Human beings aro not so constituted
that they can livo without expansion. If
thoy cannot get in ono way, thoy must in
another, or perish.
Writo your namo by kindness, lovo and
mercy, on tho hearts of tho pcoplo you
come in contact with year by year, and
you will never be forgotten.
Politeness may prevent tho want of wit
and talents from being ovserved ; but wit
and talent cannot prevent tho discovory
of tho want of politeness.
To do much good, and mako but littio
noiso, is a singular thing. Somo say much
but do nothing ; but Christians should do
much, and say nothing.
tts
What is Heat Lightningi ? Tho
flashes of lightning often observed on a
summer evening, accompanied by tliundcr,
and popularly known as "heat-lightning,"
aro meroly tho light from discharges of
electricity from an ordinary thunder cloud
beneath tho horizon of the observer, reflec
ted from clouds, or perhaps from tho air
itself, as in the caso of twilight. Mr.
Brooks, onef tho directors of the telegraph
line between Pittsburg and Philadelphia,
informs ub that, on one occasion, to satisfy
himself on this point, he asked for infor
mation from a distant operator during tho
appearance of flashes of this kind in tho
distant horizon, and learned that thoy pro
cccdcd from a thunder-storn then rap-int?
two hundred and fifty miles eastward of
his placo of observation. Pro Henry.
A Littl'e Heiio. A Wisconsin boy
was wounded at Fort Donolson, and taken
within tho rebel lines a prisoner, whero
Dr. Voorhies, of Mississippi, attended him.
The little fellow, without moving a musclo
talked with firmness during tho operation,
of sawing tho bone, when a ball went
plunging closo by them. Tho doctor ro
maarked that it was getting too hot for
him, end picked the boy up in arms, and
carried him into one of tho bomb-proofs,
where tho operation was completed. Tho
lad was perfectly cool all tho while, and
remarked when tho doctor changed his
position, "If you think it too het already,
you will find it a good deal too hot by-and-by."
Voorhies declares the lad was tho
noblest fellow he ever saw.
Mirage. There is a romarkablo mi
rage visible frequently at Chicago On
the 3d inst., from any point in the vicinity
of tho Illinois Central Railroad depot,
could be plainly discerned with tho naked
cyo tho villages, forests, and bluffs of tho
eastern shore cf Lake Michigan, sixty
miles distant. Vessels miles out in appe
ared as though they were almost within a
stone's throw. Michigan city scorned to bo
within ths limits of Chicago.
It i3 said that there arc between fivo and
six huudped men of tho Tenth Maino rog
imcnt, now guarding tho Baltimoro and
Ohio railroad, who never drank a drop of
liquor in their lives. In this whisky drink
ing, lagor beer swilling, wino bibbing
country, an announcement of this kind ia
almost incredible
Tho Lutheran Observer say that thero
arc now laboring in South America fifty
seven missionaries, representing tho En
glish and American Episcopalians, Con
grationalists, Presbyterians, Baptists,
Methodists and Lutherans.
The United States Government is food
ing at least tweuty fivo thousaud negroes
daily, at a cost of about tcu thousaud
dollars per day. Letters from Hilton
Head,
I Good naturo, liko a bee, collects
its honey from every herb. Ill naturo,
liko a spider, sucks poison from tho snoot
est flower.
t" Tho highor you riso, tho wider Is
your horizon ; so tho moro you know tho
moro you will sco to bo known.
VS3 It is a singular fact that tho man
who pays the printer regularly novor gets
the night marc.
B-"ril tako tho responsibility," as
Jeuuiussaiu wueu ho ueia out his arm
for tlia baby.