COLUMBIA DEMOCRAT, AND BLOOMSBURG GENERAL ADVERTISER. LEVI L. TATE, Editor. "TO HOLD AND TllIM THE TOUCH OF TRUTH AND WAVK IT O'Eli THE DARKENED 13A11TII." S2 00 PER ANNUM; VOL. 14.-NO. 10. BLOOM SBURG, COLUMBIA COUNTY, PA-, SATURDAY, JUNE 23, 1800. VOL 24i - i T II E tilaiiiliin DiMiiorrni A IS H'uUMIFD LIERY SAIL It DAY MOItMltfl, DY ' f liKVI L. TAT13, IN BLOOMSBURG, COLUMBIA COUNTY, TA. d mo k f lAe ! Mr TiuUdinff, opposite th J'.rehatiffe, by sid ' the Court Home. "Democratic Head (iuarttri." TKHMfi OF StHISHUPTION. $1 0() In alvarice. f'r nr' copy, frU monthi. I 7.1 III (1 U.tliriJi l'r "in-r(iiy, miir ji-iii. ' oi If imt pi I 1 w fthtn tlu itrt thn-e mouth. - tt.4i If not putt w illiln th lirtrt sit niuiUlis. tt 50 If imt paid uiihl'i they -nr. CvT So uliTrlMiiii t.ik-ti for l. thin nix tnnntlm, ind nn p.ipcr iliscoiitimu-d until all arrearage nliallhau been paid. O" t r l(u try A ntFaTtsr wits Inserted, and Job Work f JjIPCUlQU, ill IIU CFiniHlttllUII IHICL-H. (Jlljoicc poclrn. TIIK LITTLE JiOY THAT DIED. jJkilS t nt.i (.11 nl..nr In mv rh.IlliIxT lluW. I Vn.l ikn ii.l luirplit luinr la ntar. ffAml Ihcf ieR'lif raik ami thjrlok' dull tick Arc the nnlv foiniilo I liar i t Ami v ft my noul in IU tilitiiiiti U..... t r...ll.lf. Of -...ll-l I U.lc. f lr my li.'art an J my ')fn art-full when 1 tlniik Of tilt: little boy thJlUK'U. 1 1 uctitnw niplit to my f.ttlict'tj lumhc Wi-nl limine tn ilu drar om-n all - lAii I uttily I opui.-d the (rarduii (.Mtf, And criftly tin' Jnor of the linll. My ninth 'reams onl to meet h-r smi- Hi' kUeil me and th-n flu" I And her li.'ad Ml on my m-ik, on 1 slia wept lirtlu little t lint .Ii-m!. Ft -l.all mint In -ti wli'ii th tl ini-rV mini, In the p irdcn wh th h pl.ijed; I hill mi"- hi ii mor.; hy th'- lir-i-i 1c, U'li.n th; Hotter iir nil df(i tl xh ill hi his tii and his I'lnpty t Imr, An J th JiorM'- h- nn'-d M ride. PA 1 1 1 th -y will cpatt with n ulent sp'-ecli, of ilu Iitllo Hut ui J. V -li til ff" lnv.it' to our r.itlifrV Imn-e To unr rtlitrV lmm in Hi kl Wlure th) li'ipu bf nur Jiila fh ill lino Hot blight, (Mr J.i i- ii't ttruk n tun. XV ' tdi ill mam on lhv Ii inks i.f lln rinr of pearr, And lulh- in ilt Min-lni ti v ; !A 1 1 one of th Ji of i'ir lito h.ill Us Th tittle tiy lhatdi I. Select Stavn. JUNITTE'S WOISK. 4? Y .MI!S. F. II. G AfiK, ' 'JMIito, Lizzie, 1 i h you would put a fuWj'i-tilc'lib into my coat J it's getl'mj; too shabby " 'It is so, Frank ; Imt really I tlilnlc you liad iMur take it to tlio tailor." vJVTakc it to the tailor ! 15y George ! ljut'that a a huge idea. ' Why , there's not )ivo"'ij)inutj's work to be done, and the tailor would ch;tr?c a dollar. " ij, J OUjJJIU'U IIU (tutlllt , Mill i UUll L nVU 1 I. .. 1.1 . !... T how.I can do it to dav. Walter ii f ret- fuland you know he kept me awake all nigh't." "Ss? l':tl',J 'ml' I 't 'I003 c'l;,11 lo llie 'here riajcr was so cross a young one." !,',0, no, Frank, he's not cross ; he's iectlung." " ,'1Always t.ome excuse. Well, you niu't juend my coat, anyhow.' I ll try and find time." " Try ! jVt let him Mpiall ; Vill do liini''giiod .-treugthcu his lungs.'' ?Tlrn. you know, it's ironing day." i.'jWell, how many more excuses? Ill putjit on, rips and all, if you are going to make Mich a fuss." O, no, Frank ; I did not mean to mako a fuss ; but it's a long job, and one 1 am riot much ucd to ; and with my dinner target, and baby, and ironing, I do not fee, yet, bow 1 cau get it done. But I'll do' my best.'' Such was llio conversation that pasted between a young husband and wife of eighteen months landing. Frank Burton was what tlio world calls a real driver. No made anything that went through his bauds inure to his own benefit. Everybody liked him because ho was so frank, and withal, po honest and upright in all his dealings wit'n his custo mers. Ho was well educated for a busi ness man j lived in society ; had made up his mind that ho could support a wife, and, according to his reckoning, savo something to boot. Yes, to be sure he could. There Wrosix dollars a week for board, one dol lar a dozen for washing, and then quarters and'dimcs innumerable for taking his lady acquaintances to ride, to the theatre, to icO'Creara saloons, balls, operas, etc. " By Georgo i ho exclaimed, as bo east up his yearly account, "that's huge. It's enough to break a fellow. A thousand a year I It won't do. I'll marry aud settle down." , So bo applied to Liziio Forsyth, tho best anditindost girl among bis acquaintances, to.belp him along in his good resolves, and was toon in possesion of that admirablo burden, "to bo supported," a wife. Lizzie was a good, tcusible girl", aud was Boon jircd of boarding. A snug house was Tented, and the work of euppoiting a wife began in earnest. Tho five rooms cost two hundred a year, and were prettily furnish ed. Lizzie preferred to do her own work, washing and all, and being expert with her ucctllif, now and then found time to make a dollar extra. Then, as it was a little lonesome for Frank, ho brought home several clerks, as day borders, at four dol lars a week. Still, with all this, ho could tell his acquaintances how much less it cost biin to live. Now lie supported a wife, ho never s-ccmud, for a moment, to realize that she it was who saving till these expen se!, and that, if he had not earned a dol lar, her buy hands would have paid tho rent, and kept him from starving. So the matter stood, when he asked her to mend Iih coat. Lizzie drew a deeptigh after he was gone, and hurried her dishes away as fast as possible. The coat was of broadcloth, and was his wedding garment; but it was well nign neaiuig oiu, uioueu miner uie arms, the cord and lining in rags, and sleeve linings broke loose, buttons worn oil'; in fine, there was nearly, if not quite a iteady day's work. She sat down to tho coat with a hearty good will, determined to do her be.-t. Her needle Hew, but ciery mo ment it had to bo lain down, to see to din ner, or hush tho baby. Tho hours wore away, and though she did all i-hc could, the jub was quite unfinished at sundown. I Walter ciicd intrs'-antly. lie looked i pale and hii eyes were dim. She renieni bred Frank's words, "let him squall," and ' did let him iry half mi hour or more. (J, how it wcaiied her to hear her darling cry for its mother. The tears swam in 1 her eyes, as she thought of her hard day's work, and of tho want of appieciation of her labors. She knew she was making the ' old coat look almo-t as well as new." lint he would never think of the toil she put upon it. '-And what if ho don tV she 1 mentally ij icul.ited ; " 1 -hall in my own' spirit know all I have done, aud that is enough." Still she was longing with sick-1 ining hcai t, to hear liini now and then speaic as it tier work was ot some avail. ''There is not more than live minutes work, and tho tailor would charge mo a dollar," kept ringing in her cars. j But Lizzie was strong hearted, as well as loving and dutiful. So she s-hook off her dieontent, put on a Mniling face, took up the baby, and sung her picttiest lullaby,' carried him round, with his little head on' her shoulder, while she filled thu kuttlo, and set the table, now and then setting him in his cradle, and thiipingto him, as she did those things that lequfretl both of ( her hands. Thus she won led through the i tiipper-getting. and with much managing had all things ready by the time Frank came in with his companions. I " My coat done, Lizzie.'" J " No, not quite." I " Thats a woman for ye, boys. One ' half of them would let a husband go out at the elbows a week, before they would tmu 1 asido from any plan of theirs. .All the honing ! completed, I'll be bound. Ain't it so, Lizzie i ' Liz.iu was taking her biscuit out of the oven, and the men did not tee the deep flush of pain that passed over her weary features. ' Will you bring me a pitcher of water, plea-e V she said, pleasantly, not .'ccuiing to have heard the question. " There it is again ; when 1 was a bach, I had nothing to do but hand my coat over to a tailor, pay him a dollar and it was done in a jiffy, and no grumbling. No water to fetch when a fellow's tired, cith er." Lizzie was tired, sad, and nervous; want of sleep, aud the exhaustion incident to nursing her beautiful boy, now so near sick the hurrying to get time for the men ding, not to speak of the disappointment in putting aside her own plans, thus throw ing her baking aud ironing into ono day, for both niu-t bo done on tho morrow, or the clotlias would mildew, and, tho board ers do without bread all this was too much, Lizzie could not endure his bad inage, tbough half playful, for she knuw, and knew well, that if some such thoughts were not in his mind, they would isct have found their way to his lips. Slse hastily set tho biscuit upon tho ta ble, aud saying, simply, "Supper ii ready,'' stepped into tho bedioom, and burst into tears. You may call Iter a fool, if you will. Ido not. You might as well ask tho withered leaves not tc fall, when the autumn winds sweeps through them ; as well ask the (lowers not to suffer tho morn ing dews fo' exhale in sunshinu, aa to' ask a tender, loving, sensitivo wife to withhold her tears, when sho knows the Is wronged, She may forgive, sho may look cheerful an hour after, bright as the rky when the cloud has passed but sho must feci ; and it is only when her beautiful nature is de stroyed ; when, as is too often the eve, tho very traits of character which won a hutband's lovo in the beginning arc oblit erated ; when love turns to hate, that she em hear from him blight or cxactiou with unmoved indifference. Lizzie's tears did not flow Ion" ; her heart gained its natural relief, and after pretending sho was getting Walter to sleep (which she actually did) she bathed her eyes aud came out, washed her dishes, and sat down again to tho coat. Frank sat watching her flying fingers for an hour or two, as he lau-'hcd and talked with his friends, thinking to himself that every turn would be tho last. At nine o'clock sho set the last stitch. Now fac ings had been put in, and new pockets, the holes under the arms ncatiy patched and darned, new cuffs, new buttons, and now linings all round. As she finished she looked up, with .-till a shade of sadness upon lrer brow. " There, Frank, I have mended your coat thoroughly. I guess it will last anoth er year now." ' Quite a job, wasn't it? took longer than 1 though,'' said ho depreciatingly. " Now much clear cash have you made to-day, Frank '" asked Lizzie, in an earn est tone. " What do you want to know that for ?' was his aii-wcr. " For my own satisfaction. Certainly I should feel an interest in all your af fairs." " Well, I think the shop has cleared twenty dollars." " Now much do you count your services woithr' ' Not less than five dollars a day." " How many hours do you labor?" " Ten is the legal time now-a-days. 1 don't generally work that many. But what arc all the.-c questions for?" " Because, Frank, we are huband and wife. We expect to livu the rct of our lives together, aud if there is harmony in our marriage relation, there must bo jus tice and right. You call upon ine daily to appreciate your labors, and remind me of the comfort and support you arc giving me, aud 1 feel that 1 appreciate any thing you do. You have earned five dollars to day, and the shop has cleared twenty. Yet, to vave jou one dollar, I have worked ten hours on your coat, aud six in getting your breakfa-t, dinner and supper, and making your home pleasant and comfort able. To save you that dollar, I have had to hurry all day, to put all my work out ofj line, and to really neglect our darling boy, who should bo our first care, and the last thing that should, under any circum stances, be set aside.'' " 1 had no idea, Liz.ic, it would be such a job." " 1 know you had not, Frank, so I shall freely forgive you, but must in-i-t that hereafter I inuit bo allowed to be my own judge of what vork I had best do, and shall not expect to be threatened, nor hear myself accused of not being willing to do my duty." Frank felt tho force of her words, and sat silent. ,l One thing more, Frank, I want to say, while I am about it. I dou t want you to talk about supporting your wife. 1 will not bo supported, while 1 am ablo to support myself. I find, on looking over my books, that the profits of my labors amount to five dollars a week, mid tho board of yourself, myself, and the baby beside. Then I do all your extra work and my own. All this saving has gono into your capital to be imeaked and to make your twenty dollars a day;' out of this comes tho five dollars you call tho worth of your day's work, while I must labor with really weary limbs, and athiiig head and eyes, to savo a dollar, in tho mending of an old coat, which, when done, would not sell for the amount of your ten hours' work." " You are making out a pretty strong case against ine, Lizzie." " No, Frank, not against .you ; I could not do that ; but I am stilting facts. Ono thing more. I havo been at work three hours sinco supper, while you havo been entirely idle, not even rocking t)o eradle, which I have been obliged to da several times.'' " Lizzki, (ton's say another word, and I'll never do so again," cried Frank, springing from bis chair, tcjog tlio cradle, where tho sweet boy was liestliug. " You shall never mend another coat." " Yes, but I will," answered lizzie, advancing to tho cradle, "only don't tell me ten hours' work cati be done in five minutes, nor ask mo to let tho baby squall again." She lifted Walter from tho cradle. They stooped to kiss his fair, rosy check, but inado a mistake and kissed each other, while Frank whispered : " God bless you, Lizzie, I never thought of this before. 1 won't do it again." Six years have gone by, and Frank has kept his- work. A GEIOIAN STOUY. A countryman, on returning from the city took home with him five as fine peach es as one could possibly de.-iro to see. As his children had never beheld tho fruit be fore, they rejoiced over tlmu exceedingly, calling them the fine apples with roy checks and soft plum-like skin. The fath er divided them among his four children, and retained ono for their mother. In tho evening, ore the children retired to their chamber, the father questioned them by asking : "How did you like tho soft rosy ap ples?" "Very much, hided, dcr father,' said the eldest boy. "It is a beautiful fruit, so acid and yet so nico und soft to the tasti! I have carefully preserved the stone that I may cultivate a tree. ' "Bight and bravely done," said tho fa ther. "That speaks well for regarding tho fu ture with care, and isbocoming iu ayouug husbandman." "I have eaten mine, and throwfj tfje stone away," said the youugc-t; "besides which, mother gave mo half of hers Oh! it tasted so sweet and so melting in my mouth." "Indeed," answered tho father, "thou ha-t not been prudent. However, it was very natural and childlike, and di-play wisdom enough for your years." "I hive picked up the stone," said the iccotid son, "which my biotlier threw a way, cracked it, aud eaten the kernel it was sweet as a nut to my U:U ; but my peach I have sold for so much money that when I go to the city 1 can buy twelve of them." The parent shook his head reproachful ly saying: "Bjware, my boy, of avaiice ; prudeneu is all very well but such conduct as yours is unchildlike and unnatural. Heaven guard thee, my child fiom the fat of a miser." "And you, Edmund V asked the father turning to his third son, who frankly re plied : "I have given my poach to the son of our neighbor the sick Georgo who has the fever. Ho would not take it, so I left it on tho bed, and havo just come away." "Now," said the father who has done the best with his peach? 'Brother Edmund !" the three exclaim ed aloud. Ediimud was still silcut. and the mother kissed him with tears of joy in her eyes. NAT U UAL HISTOltY-TIIE FL1HT. Thii biilliant iu-ct of the butterfly spe cies is common to all latitude-', but flour-i-dies best in a warm climate. It revels in the atuio.-phere of the ball room, matinee, the iirtUtic re union; aud while it loves imblieitv.it is not loth to lark in shaded alcoves or to nestle among cushions iu qui et corners. The plumage of the female flirt is very ; dazzling. It is cUd iu the most radient smiles and compliments of the softest and most delicate shades, while its eyes have a strange, deep aud penetrating lustre. It diffuses a faint yet thrilling perfume, caught from cru-hed flowers, scent-bags, billctdoux its music is a low, persuasive bum. It can be true to no tune, but sing snatches, mid at tho piano, run ovor tho keys with a light and tremulous touch. The violation of this iu-ect has long per plexed naturalist. It bailies pursuit. Strange to say,it dissolves to the touch and when caught it is a handful of ashes, cold and colorless. The sting of the flirt rs very severe. j Some say it is poisonous. Instances have I been known where it has proved to hap ( pincss and hope. It is inflicted with per- feet impartiality, but seems to striko deep i est into1 the fresh und honest hcaits, 1 Tho flirt languishes at the first chill breath of sorrow. When storm is in tlio air it is pitiful to see it seek for shelter, its gay plumage beaten aud soiled, and the colored and perfume gone, and tho low, inviting music chauged to a dispairing ' plaiut. ' Tho flame that flutters arouud goucrally I burns it af-last as in (he case with many a poor moth' Vanitv Fair THE ANGEL OF TIME. 'i , , The angel of time, being conumssioncd by the Supreme Governor of tho world, niado proclamation that ho had a hundred thousand years of additional life to bestow on tho inhabitants of tho earth. His trninpcj echoed far and wide, pcnctratnig tho cities, tho valleys, tho mountains, and tho uttermost extremes of tho universe. Tho people flocked eargerly from all points of the compass, to prefer their claims to a portion of the bencficicnt gift; but it was surprising to sco that the crowd consisted of tho aged alone. The children were at- , tending to their youthful sports, and paid j no uttcntiou to tho proclamation; tho youths and maidens were wandering in tho labyrinths of love ; and the men and wo men of a middle ago were too much cu- i gaged in the pursuits of lifo to think of ! death. I The fir-t who preferred his petition for ' a few additional years was an old man of 'fourscore and upward, bent almost double ' with ago. "Thou doubtless wishest to livo a little longer for tho sake of thy ehildren,a!ul tl.e j companions uf thy youth !'' said tho an 'set. "Alas!" ciicd the old man, "they are idl dead.'' "Thou art in possession of wealth and honors?" "Alas, no! I have lost my good name, I and am muerably poor. Yet I wi-b to live until I am a hundred years, and ho then went on his way trembling and re joicing. The next iipplnai-tfor lengthened years was a feeble old man who was carried iu a litter. When be preferred his request tho angel replied : "I understand. Thou ait enamored of tho charms of women, of tho beauties of the earth, tho waters, and the skies, and thou wMiost to behold them yet a few years more ?" I "I am blind theso ten years," snswerd ! tho old man. j "Thou art delighted witlr the nur-Io of the birds tho murmuring of the waters, tho echoes of the mountains, and all tho harmonies of tfo universe, aud wishest to hear them a little longer?'' "I am deaf,and scarcely hear die sound of thy trumpet." "Thou ait fond of the delicacies of food?" "Alas ! my feeble health will not permit such indulgeneies. I have lived on milk, and cru'ts of broa 1 these seven years, past and more. I am a miserable, sickly, old man." "And still thou wishest to lengthen out thy miseries. What pleasure dost thou en joy in this life ?" "The pleasuro of living," said the old man ; and the angel granted a few years more. Tho third who approached the footstool of the angel, was a decrepit female, almo-t bent double, and trembling with palscy. I Her teeth were gone her eyes bmied deep iu their dark blue sockets her check hoi- low and fleshless and she could hardly prefer her request, for an incessant couhg that drowned her voice aud almo-t choked I her I "I am come," said she, "to beg a score of years, that I may enjoy the pleasure of seem;.' tlio cypress trees i have iilantcil over the graves of my husband, children,' grandchildren, aud the rest of my dear rel atives, spring up and flourish before I die. 1 am bereft of all that were near and dear to wo ; 1 stand ulono in tho world, with uo one to speak for me ; 1 beieceh thee to to grant my request." ''Though I grant tho lengthened days, I cannot remove thy infirmities and suffci- ings. JUiey will nicrcase upon thee, said the angel. I care not, thice, I know they cannot kill ine before my time." "Take thy wish," said tho angel, smil ing, "go aud bo happy." 'Strango I" cried a learned man who had coine to petition for a few years to complete an explanation of lbs apocalypse and had witnessed the scene, "Strange," cried ho, curling his lip iu scorn, "that the most helpless und miserable of human beings should still covet a life, divested of all its enjoyments !" "Silenco, fool 1" replied the angel, in a voice of ineffable contempt ; "it rather be comes tlico, ignorant mortal, to adoro the goodness of l'rovidence, which haviug or dained that man should live to be cld,mcr cifully dc4recd! at tho same time, that tho lovo of lifo should supply the absence of all its sources of enjoyment. Go! tako thy wish, aiid Qui h thy commentary on the apocalypse DEATH OF LADY BYHON. Wo learn by tho Glrtsgow that on tho 17th ultimo, Lady Byron, tho widow of the great poet, died at London, in tho sixty-sixth' year of her ago. She was born in 1704, ami was tho only daughter and heir of Sir llalph Jlilbauko Noel, Baronet In 1H50 she succeeded to the baroncy of Weutworth. Sho was married to Lord Byron in 1815, the union proving, as is well known, most unhappy to both husband and wife, ami he lived with his wife only some thirteen days. Their only child "Ailt, sole ilauRlitur of my house unit luarl" was married to Earl Lovelace, and died eight years ago. The mariiago of Byron with MKi Jlil- baukc, was one prompted by motives of in terest. Lord Byron, in one of his letters, gives the following description of Lady Byron, during tilts time ef their engagement : "What an odd situation and friendship is ours ! lthout one spaik of lovo on either sida, aud produced by circumstances which in general, lead to coldness on one side, and aversion on the other, She is a very supeiior woman, and very little spoiled, which is strange iu an heiress a girl of twenty a peeress tri'at is to bo iu her own right an only child, aud asavanlcc who has always had her owu way. She is a poetess, a mathematician, aud,withal, very kind, generous and gentle, aud with very little pretension," Even at his wedding, the thoughts of his first love of Mary Chaworth of An nesly Hall, whom he so poctieall termed his "Bright Morning Star of Aimcsly," was present to his imagination. Anncsly I lull and all its fond associations Uoated like a vision before his thoughts, even when at the altar, aud ou tho poiut of pro nouncing his nuptial vows. A marriage contracted uuder such circumstances could not but be unhappy. Tho poet has allu ded to it in some of his most -impassioned trains oi regret, n asuington Irving says that in ono of his manusciipts, written long after his marriage, having accidental ly mentioned Miss Chaworth as my "M. A. C." "alas I'' exclaims he, with a sudden burst of feeling, "why do' I say my 1 Our union would havo healed feuds, in which blood had been shed by our fath ers ; it would havo joined lauds broad aud rich; it would have joined at least one heart, and two persons not llliuatchcd in years, and and and. what has been the result?" It is unfortunate for the late Lady By ron that only by her union with Byron and its unhappy results, is she known to tho world at large. Her private life has been ruthlessly iuvaded, and all her do mcstie troubles exposed to the gaze of the world. It should bo remembered that By rou treated her in- a manner calculated to alienate the affections of any woman, and that it was tho public odiunr following his treatment of her, which induced him to leave England and livo iu Itally. Lady Byron took an activu interest in philanthropic and benevolent movements, and in 1 tfiifi sho scut a gift of three hun dred and fifty dollars to tho New England Kansas Emigration Society. We cau scarcely recall a lady of the present con tury who'c namo has been so often brought befor.' the public, and in such a singular way, by her relations with others, rather than by any desire or effort ou her part to obtain pub.icity. f3yA good anecdote is told of a man named Bently, a confirmed druukard, who would never drink with afiicndoriuj Dublin, and alwavs bit'erlv denied, w-bnn n I little too steep, ever tasting liquor. One day some bad witues-ess concealed them selves iu his room, aud wkcu tho liquor was ruuuir.g down his throat, seized him with his arm crooked aud his mouth open, and holding him fast, asked him with an air of triumph: " Ah, Bently, wc have caught you at last? You ncer drink, ha?" No ono would suppose but that Bently would havo acknowledged the corn ; not he : with tho most gravo and inexpressible face, ho calmly, and in a dignified mannor, said : " Gentlemen, my name is not Biutlyl" Tim DirrmiEMii;. Man is 6troug woman is beautiful. Mau is daring and confident woman is diffident and unassu ming. Man is great in action womau iu suffering. Man shines abroad woman at homo. Man talks to convince woman persuades aud please. Man has a rugged heart woman a soft and tender one Mau presents misery woman relieves it Man has bcicnco woman taste. Man has judgement woman sensibility Man is a J being of justice woman of mercy iSr A I'AnAortAni Matrimoniai,, Choosing a wifo is a perilous piece of bu siness. Do you tupposo hero is nothing of it but evening" visits, boquets and pop ping the rucstiou! My dear, simple young man, you ought not to bo trusted by yourself alono I Tako care (hat von don't get tho gilt China article, that looks cxcecumgiy pretty on tno mantte-piceo un til the t'ilt and ornament aro all rubbed off, then is lit only for tho dust pile 1 A wifo should bo selected ou the same prin ciple as a caiico cown. Bricht colors and gay patterns aro not always the best econ omy, uct something that will wash and wear. Nothing like the suns and shnwnrs of matrimony to bleach out theso deceptive externals i uoa t choose the treasure by gas-light, or iu palor sitting. Broad' day light is the best time a kitchen tho most sensible place. Bear iu mind, sir, that the article onco bargained for, you can't exchange it it don't suit. If you buy a watch and it den t run as vou exnectrd. t - i 1 you can send it to a Jeweler to bo repaired iu the caso of a wife, once paired you cant re pair. Sho may run iu the wrong direction very well,' sir,; all that is left for you is to run' after her, and an interes ting chase you will probably find' itl If you get a good wife you will be tho hap-. pies lellow allivo , it you got a bad ono you may as well sell yourself for two and sixpense at once I Just as well to consid er all these things before hand, young man. Plavincj Cards for a' Wwt.lt Constable in Williamsport, Indiana, whilo paying a visit to a young lady a few miles away, proposed a game of cuchro as tho evening's entertainment, which was ac cepted by tho young lady. When tho cards were dealt tho young laidy proposed a 'flyer' oi' fifty dollar's, to which tho con stable demurred. The young lady pro tested that sho would never play with a gentleman unless there was some stake up, , but tho gcut still demurred, when, as a ' compromise, the lady proposed that they would play, and if bho beat him he should' marry her, which the gallant constablo couldn't do otherwise than accept. At it they went, and tho lady proved' the win ner. The constable was invited to stay all night, and iu the morning they would proceed to tho squire s and be made ono flesh. Ho plead pressing business and went away. Sho followed him to his fa thor's aud ttayed there three days without seeing the young man, when a'comproiniuo was effected by paying tho disconsolate lady two hundred aud fifty dollars to fill' up tho breach. The Fuexchman's Duec A French man was to fight a duel with an Ameri can; tho conditions wcro that one shot should bo exchanged, and that the pre cedence should go by lot. The French man got the first chance, but failed to hit his adversary. As the Yankee lifted up his weapon the ether called out : " Hold, I will buy your shot ?" All were astonished at this, but his op poueiit answered : " How much will you give ?" " Five hundred pounds." " Nonsense!'' cried tho Yankee, taking aim at him ; " I am a good marksman , you set too low a value upon yourself." " You estimate me at too high a price,' said tho Frenchman, " but I will give a thousand pounds !" " Agreed !' cried the Yankee, aud the duel was at an cud. A Cuniors Uetoht. Hon. Alexander II. Stephens, of Georgia, was onco run ning for Congress, with an opponent of unusually large statute, and ou tho btunip one day tho discussion becamo unusually warm, Whereupon tho large man said to oicpucus, vuo was email aud delicate : "Why, 1 could button your cars back, and swallow you whole." And if yon did, vou would brains in your btomach than vou over bad in your head." The laughter which follnwnd ly dissipated the ill-humor was fast gain- iug grouuu. Faith," said an Irishman, who could not get iuto his cabin at Ballingary his wifo having turned tho key upon him, " faith its mcsclf that's regularly locked iu." " In," said his companion, "in whero ? " Why iu the street." 1 3' Mau is liko a snow ball: Leave him lying in idleness agaiust the bunny face of prosperity, aud all that's good in him melts like butter, but kick him arouud und he gathers strength with each rovolu tion, until he growe into an avalanche